Song of the day 11/30/12

tumblr_ljgkpnGrJd1qhhqv8o1_400
Call me crazy by Bushwick Bill
http://www.divshare.com/download/21132743-e65

(This was written about 10 hours ago…)
So, I’m in Poland right now and I can’t sleep. I got a show tonight in Paris and will probably be awake all day. Cry me a fuckin’ river I know but I’m going somewhere with this.
When you can’t/don’t sleep, you go crazy. Pretty much anytime I’ve been to europe I spend half the time feeling like a crackhead due to sleep deprivation and jet lag , waiting for my soul to leave my body. So, in honor of feeling like that, I give you a Bushwick Bill song. I wonder if this is how he felt all the time? I wouldn’t be shocked.

Side note, I’m patiently waiting for the arrival of some brooklyn based female hipster rapper who calls himself Bushwick Jill. She will suck but she will also , for sure, one day exist.

Things I once believed to be facts


You never stop growing up. Sure, some people stay marooned in a state of lifelong childishness but even they learn some things along the way. Like everyone else on the planet, I could look back at things I thought just 3 years ago and laugh at how naive/short sighted I was. This living thing is a process. And, as an homage to this process I figured it would be fun to list “truths” i have believed over the course of my life that i would later learn were not so. These are things that, at whatever time it was, I would have gone to the grave believing to be as factual as 1+1=2. These are also things that, now, I know are hilariously off point.
I’m sure we all have our own so feel free to add on in the comments if you have any particularly embarrassing ones.

1) Vaginas are a mound of hair with a line down the middle. The line started a few inches below the belly button and ended somewhere around where the clit actually was (age 5-9)
What the fuck did I know? I was a kid. But if you asked me to draw a vagina at age 7, you’d get something like this:

My only experience with seeing naked women at that point was peaking at playboys (they didn’t show vagina lips back then) and glancing at nude models my dad had posing for him when he was making art. In both cases, I was dealing with hirsute ladies so , honestly, I don’t even feel bad about thinking that. For all i know there could have been a small dozer village under that hair. PS: I loved the Fraggle rock back then.

2)Ras Kass is the greatest rapper of all time. (age 17-18)
When you’re a teen, you’re impressionable. You’re also very passionate about things you hold dear to your heart. I was a huge hip hop nerd and one of those annoying purist types who joyfully would argue about shit like “who’s the best lyricist” when ever I could. At that time, it was a growing period for hip hop. The year was 94 and shit was exploding. Because of this explosion, there were all these awesome new rappers coming out. I first heard Ras Kass on a 12” he had dropped called “Remain anonymous/won’t catch me runnin”. I was obsessed with it but it wasn’t until I heard his verse on “Comewiddit” that I came to the conclusion that he was, in fact, the best rapper to ever rap rap. Second verse yall…

I went to the lengths of typing out his verse and picking it apart on an old rap message board I posted at in order to make my case for Ras Kass’s lyrical dominance. Then I got an advance copy of his debut full length , “Soul on ice” and my head exploded.
I don’t quite recall when I had the realization that I may have jumped the gun on my anointing him the rap king of the universe but I’d guess it was sometime around when he dropped his second album. Just a hunch.

3)There is no better movie than “Police Academy 3:Back in training” (age 10)
I don’t know if that movie was written by another 10 year old or if Bobcat Goldthwait really just spoke to my soul but, goddamn, did I love that movie. I saw it in the theater 4 times. FOUR FUCKING TIMES! It’s funny cause, looking back now, it’s hard for me to even differentiate part 3 from part 1 and 2. I do remember thinking a scene where a guys cat shat in his cereal and he ate it anyway being pretty much as funny as anything could be. I haven’t seen the movie since early high school but I have a strange feeling it might not have held up too well.

4)When a girl is giving you head, the more cum the better (age 17-20)
I think I’ve mentioned this before on here but whatever. When I was at that tender age of absolute horniness and complete cluelessness about the fairer sex, I would always take thursdays off from my busy masturbation schedule cause, on the off chance I get any action that following friday, I would impress the young ladies with my voluminous load. Cause, as everyone knows, when a girl is giving you head, the more cum you give her, the happier she is. The funniest things about this was the little amount of play i was getting in general and , with that in mind, my insane assumption that , if i did hook up, a blow job would obviously be happening.
I’d also like to add that, even though we live in the porno age where girls actually say shit like “I love cum!” , I’m still not buying it. I’m sure there is a visual aspect to it that can be exciting for some of you but I’m sure when it’s in your mouth, you’re not begging for a double shot. I’d imagine it’s like eating oysters. As much as you ladies love them, every now and then you’ll get one that’s too big and it’ll make you want to vomit. Also, as i’ve said before, oysters are sea jizz so this comparison is actually perfect.

5)Models are better than me (age 15-25)
Listen, I’m not a guy who’s ever bagged models. I never have and I never will be. Luckily for me, tall skinny girls are not my thing but still, there is always stigma with them. For years, i viewed them as this superior beings who smoked cigarettes and only spoke to you if you were rich and famous. Well, while that’s not totally wrong, what I did overlook was that they’re also young girls who are just as insecure and fucked up as any fat girl. In fact, I’d venture to say they’re even worse cause they’re whole existence relies on looking a certain way.
I remember walking down the street and seeing some model looking girl and being intimidated by even looking at them. Like they knew something I didn’t. Turns out though, they did know something I didn’t. As 18 year olds, they knew that if you do coke with the right photographer and suck the right dick, it can help your career. I didn’t know that till waaaaaay later.
I also remember seeing dudes I knew from around the way chilling with models. These were shrimpy little dipshits who threw parties at clubs. THOSE guys were the ones fucking these girls. That’s when it all become clear to me how much of a joke all that shit was.
Nowadays, I kinda hate models. Not as much as I hate strippers but close. I don’t desire them. I don’t give a shit about their life. Maybe five years from now I’ll look back on this opinion as comical but , where I stand now? Fuck’em.

6)Chicken Mcnuggets are the finest food in all the land (age 12-18)
Don’t get me wrong, I’ll still fuck up some Mcnuggets. Granted, nowadays I eat at Mcdonalds maybe once every two years…but when I do, I’m housing some Mcnuggets.
But back in the day? Shiiiiiiiiit. A 20 piece (extra bbq sauce was crucial), fries and soda was like the perfect meal. I’d eat that shit before school if I could and then play basketball for two hours with it sloshing around in my gut. I didn’t give a fuck. Nowadays, If i were to eat like 5 mcnuggets it takes me about 15 minutes before I’m sweating on the toilet.
It’s funny to think about it cause you could have bought me the finest meal in all the land and put it against a mediocre batch of Mcnuggets (you know, they’re a little dry or you get one of those hard chunks) and I’d still tell the entire Top Chef judge panel that Mcnuggets got the win.
I’m glad I’ve grown out of that phase cause I’d be a 400 pound diabetic right now if I hadn’t.

This list could be endless but I’mma cut it off here. You get the idea. Oh youth, you’re so fucking embarrassing.

Mixtapes for girls vol. 4: The “Close it out” mix


Okay, so we’ve covered a lot here with these “mixes for girls”.
We’ve done the “Eclectic guy” mix, we’ve done the “I’m sorry” mix and the initial upbeat “getting to know you” mix. This is the final chapter. This is the “close it out” mix. This is you at your most vulnerable. How vulnerable? How bout a fucking elton john song? yeah…THAT vulnerable. This mix is a blend of well known classics, obscure jewels and just enough corny syrupy shit to top it off perfectly. This is definitely the mix with the most guilty pleasure songs. I mean…it’s hard for me to skip “100 ways” when it comes on my ipod but I’d be embarrassed as fuck if anyone ever actually caught me listening to that song alone.
The one common factor these songs all have is that they play into a mood. Often, with mix tapes, you walk a fine line of romance and sadness. This one has songs like that coming out the ass.
So, enjoy it…and if you’ve used these and haven’t gotten the ass…I really don’t know what to tell you. She’s just not that into you, bro.

http://www.sendspace.com/file/51s5u6

1)Colours: Donovan
2)Possibly Maybe Remix: Bjork
3)On Lovers Lane: The Giraffes
4)On a Clear Day: The Peddlers
5)Fire and Rain: The Isley Brothers
6)How come you don’t call me anymore: Prince
7)This train don’t stop: Elton John
8)Morning Sunrise:Weldon Irving
9)A change gonna come: Otis Redding
10)Cruisin’:D’angelo
11)Don’t look down: Thundersticks
12)I love you: Eddie Holman
13)Intimate friends: Eddie Kendricks
14)One hundred ways: James Ingram
15)That’s you my love: Johnny Cool

Tim and I discuss the musics and stuff vol. 10


This week, Tim AKA Alaska and I look into the music videos of Suga Free, Bruno Mars and some weird french shit Tim likes that I’m not 100% counts as a song.
As usual, we disagree a lot but that a good thing cause friends who just agree with each other 1005 of the time usually end up blowing each other. THAT’S A FACT!
http://www.syffal.com/grizzly-bear-bruno-mars

Answers for questions vol. 112


Whattup. Another week, more questions. This batch is actually kinda fun. They hit the “random question” part out the park this week. Well done. If you have questions you wanna ask em, leave them in the comment section below or email them to me at phatfriendblog@gmail.com.
Also, a little blog note, I’m gonna be in europe for half of this week so I dunno how much I’ll be posting. Mot of those days will be spent traveling so it might be tough. I dunno…I’ll do my best.
Also, if you live in Paris or near Katowice Poland, come check out my shows. More info here:
https://phatfriend.com/2012/10/16/some-new-tour-dates-us-and-europe/
Okay? great. Let’s get to the questions.

Do you still wear Phat Farm?
The real question would be “Did you ever wear Phat farm?”. The answer to that would be once. I owned a huge pair of navy blue Phat Farm pants that were my “special occasion” pants. This was in the early 90’s so wearing outlandishly large pants that weren’t blue jeans was how I would “dress up”. I think I still own them but I have no clue where they might be. Too bad cause they’d probably make great pajama pants. also, if Phat Farm was really savvy, they woulda spelled their name “Phat Pharm”. Just saying…

whats your take on the NYI moving to Brooklyn?
Is this a hockey question? I’m assuming NYI = The new york Islanders? Well, regardless, I have no take on it. Not only do I not watch hockey but I had no idea they might move to brooklyn. There are few things that effect me less than the prospect of the New York Islanders moving to Brooklyn. Some of those things?
The wind speed in the sahara desert at this very moment.
What Reggae artist Shaggy is doing right now.
What dog shit might taste like
The price of cigarettes
Whether of not , there is in fact , a heaven for a gangsta
You get the idea…

would you rather start going bald in your early twenties and only get dates with weird chicks or would you rather be like 5ft 3 and fuck decent chicks but can only get with ones shorter than you

Is going bald and not getting girls mutual? I don’t think it is. However, as a guy who has no issue with short girls, the second option doesn’t sound half bad. Only problem is, being 5’3” and a man would fucking suck.
Questions like this are hard to answer cause they deal with made up rules. Whenever i get them i imagine there’s some secret police officer that follows you around , enforcing these stupid fucking rules for your entire life. In reality, both these situations could work out fine. Except to be 5’3” and bald…then you should just kill yourself.

As a Canadian, I’ve always wondered what kind of stereotypes our brethren down south have about us. I mean, I feel like the stereotypical stereotype for the Canadian is some sort of hockey playing lumberjack who lives in an igloo, but I have to believe nobody is dumb enough to think that shit. So, being an American yourself, what kind of stereotypes/random thoughts do you have about Canadian people?

Well, it’s hard for me to say cause I’ve actually been to Canada a bunch of times and have met tons of Canadians. So, i don’t even recall what stereotypes I had for you guys…in fact, I’d guess I didn’t even have any cause I didn’t give Canada much thought until I went there. I’m sure, closer to the boarders, there are americans who think you guys are all yokels. You know, probably the same shit Canadians think of the americans.
I will say this though, having met Canadians, by and large, they are ridiculously friendly. Like almost to the point where you think they’re fucking with you. This exclude french Canadians who are more french than friendly. The have an edge to them. But the people I’ve met from Toronto and Vancouver? Revoltingly nice people.

Block, what is (or, was since youre locked down) your technique for picking up a lovely lady? I’m 27 but I’ve only been with 6 girls…and i want to increase that number.

I was never a dude who bagged tons of girls. I mean, I had my runs but I was never the type to go up to a girl in a bar, chat her up and take her home. That speedy pick up artist shit was a mystery to me (pun intended). I was more of a “slow burn” type who would , over time, just kinda slip into situations. Maybe i’m one of those “grow on you” types…i dunno. But fucking strangers was never my forte. I tended to get into what ever was around me with some sort of regularity. Friends friends, people I worked with, my friends girlfriends friends. Shit like that.
Around the time I turned 25, something clicked with me and I just began to understand how to communicate better with females. Maybe it was confidence or maybe it was just the desire began to outweigh the anxiety of it all…I dunno. But what I did notice was being honest worked. It sounds corny but putting you intentions out there made everything a lot easier. If you have no intention of wanting to date a girl seriously but you’d like to have sex with her, there is a way to get that across without coming off like an asshole.
It’s funny, it wasn’t until I started acting indifferent towards the whole thing that it really started coming together. I don’t know what it is but a lot of girls are attracted to a dude who doesn’t seem to care. Perhaps they’re so used to be jocked incessantly that the idea of a guy who’s a challenge excites them? I honestly don’t know what it is, but I can definitively tell you that indifference got me way more pussy than being thoughtful ever did. That said, you can’t fake indifference. Girls will see right through some bullshit aloof mask.
So, uh, yeah…I don’t really know what to tell you. The secret is finding your angle and perfecting it. But a mixture of honesty and indifference never hurt.

I was wondering…

What is your opinion on those people who feel it’s necessary to repeat lines out loud while watching movies?

I think they’re fucking annoying. Does anyone not think that?
You know what’s worse though? It’s the people who constantly quote movies. Those same people who were walking around doing Austin Powers impressions and saying “Niiiiiice” like Borat. Beyond simply being annoying and tedious , doing that just shows a lack of personality and creativity. It’s like “hey brah, get your own fucking jokes”. Reminding me of another joke from another thing doesn’t make you funny. It’s make you referential. And, if you’re gonna be referential , AT LEAST be clever about it. The more obscure the better. But dudes like that are the reason funny shit gets played out. It’s similar to people who make one good joke and then beat it death cause they’re so insecure about ever being funny again…but that’s a whole other topic.

Let’s say Danny Brown and MF DOOM both called (or emailed) you saying they wanted to collaborate with you on a full-length album, but you only had enough time/money/energy to work with ONE of them. Which one would you choose to make beats for and why? And what do you think you would call your collaboration if you gave it a title? (maybe Block-Villain?)


I’m a big fan of both those dudes so it would be tough…but , at the moment, I’d probably pick Danny Brown. More cause I trust his work ethic and focus. Doom is one of my all time favorites but he’s not exactly known for his reliability. Danny seems like the type who sets his mind to something and knocks it out. That’s how i work so that would be a good pairing. Not to mention, I think he’d sound dope over my beats.
I suppose we could call it D-Block…oh wait…that’s taken. Maybe “Brownhead”? i dunno.
On a side note, I used to exchange myspace messages with Danny like 3 or 4 years ago when I first heard him. I sent him beats and everything. Nothing ever came of it though. Too bad cause he’s a dude i definitely wanted to work with.

Song of the day 11/23/12


Made it By Tree
http://www.divshare.com/download/20933318-9e9

Tree is a chicago based rapper with an interesting blend of styles going on. Aside from having a cool voice and rapping style that doesn’t really draw many comparisons, he also uses beats that seem to blend old school soul sampling with southern sounding drums. I’d be lying if I said i knew much about him. In fact, I’d be lying if I said I was even fully sold on him as an artist. But he’s been making mixtapes/albums for a while now and I think it’ safe to say he’s earned a chance in the spotlight.
I’m curious what you guys think of his. Peep this song…and watch these videos…
You like? Yes? No? Maybe so?

Demo reviews vol. 11


I asked for demo’s and you delivered. Thanks to all those of you who sent in demo’s last week. I got about 60, so it’ll be a while before I need more. So, to those asking “When can i send my demo in, bro!?!?!”, it’ll be months. Look at it this way. I do this bi-weekly and review ten demos every time. so, in about 12 weeks, I’ll need more demos. See you next year!
Oh, another side note, if you sent me something that was you rapping over unoriginal production, I’m skipping it. A big part of this is reviewing the whole song. If you’re using a kanye beat, it’s not really fair. Same goes for people sending me songs with a famous accapela on it. This whole thing is for demos. Songs made entirely by the artist. If you’re a rapper and can’t find an original beat, you’re not trying hard enough. It’s 2012. The internet exists and there are more people making music than ever. Reach out to them and make it happen.
As always, I like to preface these reviews by stating these are just one mans opinion. What i think isn’t making or breaking anything. I got my taste, you got yours. So, don’t get butthurt if I don’t like your music. Don’t feel bad. I don’t like most music.
As for the reviews themselves, I do a little write up then rate the songs on a 1 to 10 scale in these categories:
Production:
Vocals:
Listenability:
Originality:

So simple. So effective.
Let’s go…

Artist:Mind Capsule
Song:Out of time

http://soundcloud.com/mindcapsule/outoftime
This is cinematic. I could see it as background music for some B-movie or something. That said, I don’t really see when else anyone would ever listen to it. It’s got some cool elements but, overall, it’s fairly boring. Its not badly put together or anything, there’s just not much to it.
Production:4/10
Vocals:NA
Listenability:4.5/10
Originality:4/10

Artist: Crazy Robot
Song:Luna

http://soundcloud.com/crazyrobotproductions/luna
I won’t lie, upon hearing the very first note I was ready to hate it. Between the type of bass sound and the drums, I thought it was some seriously amateur shit.The good news is that it gets better as it goes. Still, this isn’t my thing really. A rapper on it might help. But i could say that for like 95% of all the instrumental submissions I get.
Production:5 out of 10
Vocals:NA
Listenability:4.5 out 10
Originality:5 out of 10

Artist:Beatronome
Song:Tomorrow

http://soundcloud.com/beatronome/tomorrow
This is one of those good “wall of sound” tracks. It’s drone like but it’s also pretty. It’s also one of the rare occasions where I get a song that might be shorter than it needed to be. I feel like it had potential to go places. Whatever the case, it was pretty cool. As usual, not something I’d listen to on my own time (You know, being instrumental and all…) but there is definite talent in whoever made this.
Production:6 out 10
Vocals:NA
Listenability:6 out 10
Originality:6 out of 10

Artist:Neat Beats
Song:Graffiti on a tuesday night

http://neatbeats.bandcamp.com/track/graffiti-on-a-tuesday-night
This is some well made instrumental hip hop shit. It moves along nicely and the sample layering actually works (That’s extremely rare around these parts). It’s a pretty song and my only real complaint would be the break beat that was used is one of the top 5 most played out breaks on the planet. Maybe get some different drums. But, aside form that, not bad.
Production:5.5/10
Vocals:NA
Listenability:6.5/10
Originality:4/10

Artist:Natalia Bagatelas Feat: Carl Kavorkian
Song:Reflections (RMX)

http://mingakings.bandcamp.com/track/reflections-rmx-feat-carl-kavorkian
Holy shit! A song with vocals! Am i dreaming?!?!?! Is it my birthday?
This is an odd one. It’s one of those things where all the elements are are decent but it doesn’t really all come together. The singer is okay. The beat is okay. The rapper is okay. So, you know what that makes? An okay song. The mind song change gets a little sloppy but I realize it’s the producer trying something out so I’m not mad at it.
Side note, people can stop calling songs “reflections” now. It was never a great title but , at this point, it’s been done to the point where it’s almost a joke.
Production:5/10
Vocals:5/10
Listenability:4/10
Originality:5.5/10

Artist: Gengis Khascience
Song:Slayer

http://soundcloud.com/scumbag-academy/genghis-khanscience-slayer
White swag, bro.
First off, love the name. That’s important.
This is cool but not exactly getting over the middle ground hump. The beat is kinda just there. The rapper has the attitude and he can rap well enough. This actually reminds me of some shit from the late 90’s that I might hear on an underground radio show that plays demos. Honestly, I’m just happy to hear rapping on a demo.
Production:3.5/10
Vocals:5.5/10
Listenability:5/10
Originality:4/10

Artist:Elemint
Song:Beneath the Mushroom

http://brainfood.bandcamp.com/album/brain-food-lp-side-b
The first thing that jumped out as me is that the vocals are mixed terribly. It might have to do with the rapper doing that mystical whispering/yell style. He sounds like a person who’s in a library getting angry.
The beat is pretty dope though. One of the better beats I’ve gotten that featured rappers.
But, back to the rapper…this is all obviously just personal preference but this type of rapping makes me wanna beat my head against a wall. It’s whiney and has an air of fake mysticism to it. Like it was done by one of dudes in Lord of the rIngs or some shit. I dunno…it’s hard to explain. I feel bad even clowning it cause , really, it’s not like the dude is bad at rapping, he more just mad choices with his voice I strongly disagree with.
Production:6/10
Vocals:3/10
Listenability:4/10
Originality:3.5/10

Artist:Dinosaur Burps
Song:WV Bruder Alles

http://soundcloud.com/big-river-records/wv-bruder-alles-1
Well, what do we have here! A good rap demo! The beat is awesome. Sampling country music can work when done right and this dude nailed it. The rapping is straight up good. Good voice, interesting lyrics, good flow. I’m actually in shock as i really have nothing bad to say. Easily top 3 demo’s I’ve ever received.
Production:7/10
Vocals:7/10
Listenability:7.5/10
Originality:5.5/10

Artist: Satellite Chid
Song:Midnight Sequence

http://satellitechild.bandcamp.com/track/midnight-sequence
Well, that was stabby. It’s not bad but pretty uninteresting in general. It’s just kinda variations of the same thing for 3 minutes. It picks up a little at the end but, overall, it doesn’t do much for me.
Production:4/10
Vocals:NA
Listenability:4/10
Originality:3/10

Artist: Paul:Williams
Song: After 12

http://soundcloud.com/paul_will/mirage-after-12
This almost sounds like something Bjork might have sung over like 15 years ago. That’s not a diss. It’s just got the “minimal yet busier than it sounds” thing going for it. This isn’t in my wheelhouse but it’s pretty well put together. I really do think a singer would greatly improve it but, on it’s own, it’s not bad at all. I’m on the fence as to whether the drum sounds were chosen or if that’s what was available. They walk that fine line of sounding kinda like cheap factory setting sounds and just being an artistic angle.
Production:5.5/10
Vocals:NA
Listenability:5.5/10
Originality:5.10

Which demo did you like the most? I WANNA KNOW!!!