Famous people cheat



In another shocking turn of events, a political figure of great esteem and power has once again been unfaithful to his wife. Well, color me shocked. Not since the last time this happened have I been so outraged. I mean, this Petraeus fellow was the director of the CIA! Surely his dick knows how to keep a low profile.
Now, obviously, I’m kidding. This is neither shocking or exciting news. It’s yet another case of a dude who was as faithful as his options.

Political figures, actors, musicians and other sorts of rich men. How often do we hear of these dudes getting caught out there with their dicks in their hands (or in the hands of others)? It’s always funny to me what a big deal gets made out of this. Not that what they’re doing isn’t totally wrong, but that people are surprised that it happens. It’s as if people equate having a good job/lots of money with a higher moral standard. No, dirty dealings are not just what happen to people on Maury. In fact, I’d say those people on Maury have to work even harder to make it happen cause they’re not rich and powerful men. They’re poor losers who get fired from gas station convenience store jobs. In the case of these political figures, these are men who have worked their entire life to reach a point of high regard. But you know what has no connection to what you do with your dick? Work ethic. Intelligence. hell, even a strong moral compass in a very important job doesn’t mean a guy is above texting dick pics to some lady he met at a happy hour. These things simply don’t exist on the same plain for most men. So whenever this kind of scandal happens (and it happens a lot) I can’t help but just be like “Uh…yeah. no shit…”. This dude (who is most likely a nerd on some level) ,who worked his ass off his entire life to make something out of himself and who, most likely, didn’t fuck a ton of women while doing so, all of a sudden is in a position of power. And this just in: Men in positions of power get laid. Whether they seek it themselves or it comes to them, the options are plentiful. The only thing holding them back is themselves and their self control.

Now, i realize it’s sounding like I’m standing up for these guys. That’s not the case. I’m simply explaining why it happens so often. It’s not justified to cheat on your wife. These guys have all been married for years and probably have kids in college. In all reality, they should have retired their dicks years ago. But the one thing they can’t turn off is that male ego, especially given their elevated status. Sex and ego share a very similar space in the brain of most men. As much as we like fucking in general, there’s also that element of how it gives us a certain kind of worth. A kind of worth that even killing Bin Laden or foiling a terrorist plot cannot give us. It’s the same reason that “What’s the average dick size?” is one of the most googled phrases on earth. Sex is not only a joy for men, but it’s a concern and something we hold to be far more important to ourselves than just a simple physical act.

These political cheating scandals are great cause they know no political party. The political bias is thrown out the window. They happen to to the most left leaning liberal to the craziest right wing religious nut (though admittedly, they’re way more entertaining when it’s some religious dude who has to eat shit about being a philanderer). That alone is proof that this isn’t about anything more than just power and how some men can’t really control themselves when they have it.

The fucked up thing about all of this is that it’s ruined some decent political careers. People who would otherwise have done some great services for our country but got buried cause they simply wanted to fuck someone else. I really wish there was a way to take the sex out of politics. Make it so that these matters would be dealt with like normal cheating matters. Internally within the relationship. People get divorced all the time. Cheating happens all the time. It’s shitty but, alas, life does go on after that and there usually are bigger fish to fry in general. But in this day and age where everything is on record and emails/texts can be splayed out for the world to see, it just doesn’t work like that. I’d advise these people of power to stop it but that will never happen. This kind of cheating is engrained into our culture and minds as deeply as out love of fried foods and ice cream. Perhaps the best idea would be to not make SUCH a big deal out of it on a political level. Let relationships between people who aren’t you and yours not be an issue to you and yours. Treat a CIA directors cheating like you would hearing the dude from Costco fucked his wife’s sister. Silently judge him. That’s the real american way. Cause i’m pretty sure the dude at Costco get’s to keep his job after cheating. He’s just gotta deal with a whole lot of whispering and side eye from everyone around him.

7 thoughts on “Famous people cheat

  1. well put blockhead. i always think of tiger woods and how people were SURPRISED that a young millionaire was getting some on the side. i assume the bulk of rich and/or powerful people are doing the same. if ur living outside the rules of society(like not working a job u hate or have the power to drowne strike anyone on the planet) why would u be boxed by manogamy? im sure obamas doing a line of coke off a chick as speak.

    personally ive never fucked my wifes sister or been on muary but i do work at Costco gas station. i also googled dick size and i must watch too much porn cuz that doesnt seem right.

  2. funny, I just watched a south park episode about this yesterday… turns out it’s the cash. They gave cash to a monkey and the monkey started fucking everything.

    I just can’t wait till the media gets even more up the asshole of politicians… I wanna know who pisses sitting down, who wipes well and who doesn’t (in search of the real WMD’s: Wiping of Mystery Dingleberries), which hand they use to masturbate the most and if and how often they pinch hit with the other, who’s getting enough fiber and iron in their diet, who hovers at public restrooms and who plops down, who farts the most in congress and how does that compare to the senate… are republicans more gassy or democrats? All these questions NEED to be answered before I feel confident in the leadership of this country. STAT!

  3. This is a distraction tale to keep us brain-deep in sex scandals, while the true corruption and horrors of “nation building” go unreported and unaccounted for. Our black-ops puppetstrings got crossed up, and now it’s a big tangled knot. There’s so much bullshit and flat out 3rd world murder going on, that other entire countries are standing up to speak against our “occupation” behavior. We train the terrorists, then use them as boogeymen. They needed a story to distract media people from doing their job as investigative journalists and reporters, so we get this Harlequinn drama charade. Just like Lewinsky and Clinton, where he was actually glad to have that scandal, because everyone stopped wondering why so many people close to the Clinton political machine were ending up dead. Your take on it is the most intelligent rendering of the story I’ve heard, because it’s original, and it doesn’t have an agenda of mass media, all-encompassing distraction. (look at my left hand waving while I stick my right thumb up your ass… No, you don’t feel anything strange, you’re clearly delusional. Just watch that left hand, and your senses will return to the numbness of normalcy) THANKS for your takes, as always ∞

    • to me people arent being distracted as much as they dont care in the first place. i care about u as much as u care about me, thats the issue in my eyes.

  4. silently judge indeed. i believe thats the human way. all humans. the battle we all have. the quiet after the storm. i agree that to treat this blasphemy as if its “news” that we need or even want to hear is simply ludacris. let it be as fast as you can. enough is enough on this matter. you really broke it down. cheating. what its cheating? do we “cheat” on others or ourselves and our true emotions. were all doing it to ourselves.

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