Answers for questions vol. 122


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Oh hey there…Welcome to another edition of that thing where I answer things you ask me. why? Because we both have time to waste.
If you have any sort of questions you’d like me ask (personal, music based, advice, ridiculous) throw them my way. Email me them to phatfriendblog@gmail.com or leave the in the comments below. My only rule is that you try and be original with the questions. We’re 122 volumes deep now so “What inspires you?” isn’t gonna cut it.

Ever have a chick grab your dick in a public setting through your clothes? This seems like absolute bullshit to me cuz a dude can’t walk up to some chick and grab her crotch without being thrown in jail. What are your thoughts on a drunk chick grabbing a dudes dick through his pants in a public setting? Assuming you know this chick but haven’t slept with her.

I’m racking my brain and can’t think of a situation where this has happened. I feel like I’ve had girls tap my crotch before but never straight up grab it. I also have pretty good reflexes so perhaps I’ve avoided a few grabs that way.
As for my opinion on it, it depends on the situation. I’d imagine there would be a time when the right girl grabbing your junk in public would be kinda cool. That time? When you want to have sex with that drunk girl. Otherwise, it’s pretty rude and presumptuous. Also, a lot of girls don’t really know how to handle balls. By that, I mean they go a little rough with them. If some drunk girl violent grabs your package, she could end up really hurting you if she did it wrong.
As for the whole angle of it being bullshit cause men can’t blah blah blah…deal with it. women get groped all the time and it’s way scarier for them cause men are generally bigger and more imposing figures. When a girl grabs your junk in public, it’s not like a wave of rape fear washes over your body. When a girl does it to a man, it can be awkward but it’s not exactly threatening. Think of it as a poorly worded compliment.

Mr. Scruff has got his own brand of tea. Made me think, have you ever thought about having you’re own cereal? I’m not offering it to you cause I’m an unemployed 20-something, but what would it be like? And if there were any other products you would put out…

I’m not really a cereal guy. I mean, I like it but I never have it cause it means I have to get milk. Milk in my fridge is too much pressure. It goes bad so quickly, i feel like, if I have cereal, I’m under the gun to eat like 3 bowls a day or else the milk with go bad and I’ll be stuck with half a box of cereal for the rest of my life.
So, I’d opt for something different. I actually tweeted about this the other day but , if I could make and sell anything in the food world, it would be an oatmeal cooking with chocolate chips in it. How that’s not the norm for all cookies is beyond me. Fuck a raisin. The only problem is, i don’t cook or bake so I’d just have someone who does, make a good one and I’d throw my name on there. Soft baked oatmeal with chocolate chips. I’m getting aroused just thinking about them.

How do you go about finding samples?
how much of them are not from records and how much are?

Also if you have any tricks of reducing grain noise from
records on ableton without altering the audio too much.

I pretty much only sample from stuff I download nowadays. The records I would sample from simply got too expensive and dollar bins have been dry for years. Nowadays, I go to rare music blogs and download albums that other people ripped off vinyl. Not only is it free but the type of shit I get is stuff that I would have never been able to find ten years ago. I know some purists complain about the sound quality of sampling off of mp3’s but I’ve never been bothered by it. I started sampling off cassettes anyway. This is a step up from that.
As for Abelton tricks, just don’t stretch a sample more that 10-15 bpms. Some are more workable but anything with a percussive sound in it is going to be hard to do major stretching to. Also , you can set that thing (no clue what the name is) in the “sample” window (between to the “clip” and “envelop” windows toward the bottom) to different settings like “beats”, “Tones” , “Texture” and “Complex”. That will sometimes give you a little extra leeway with the stretching.

For the rest of your life, which would you rather have happen… Every time you take a shit you get a little on your hand, or every time you take a piss you miss the urinal/bowl for half the stream?

I mean , is this even debatable? Who would ever pick the “shit on your hand” option? It’s not like missing the bowl a little is some guilt ridden experience. It’s what we do anyway sometimes. Also, in this situation, do I not have hands of something? Is my dick like a wiley firehouse? On what planet could this not fixed with simply aiming where i pee?
I think that’s my problem with these “would you rather” questions. While they are often funny, the choices are so easily refuted it just doesn’t work to my logical brain. Like, getting shit on your hand…I suppose that’s possible. But just missing the bowl completely for half of the duration of a piss? Unless I have a gyrating urethra, it just doesn’t work.

Say you were given the chance to be in the first group of humans to colonise a new planet, would you? Catch is you can never return to earth, but you never have to work again. Also who would you bring (anyone).

Hate to be a bummer but I think I’d pass. I’m not a trailblazer like that. I’m happy in my little world with my comforts and familiar things. The last thing I’d want to do is start over on a different planet. That just seems like a lot of work, considering I’m gonna die eventually regardless.
A better plan would be to send all the people I dislike to go start that planet. Thus, improving this planet greatly. I feel like that would be much easier than rounding up all the people I like and starting life over on New Mars or whatever.

I gotta question, Alaska said he didnt like stevie wonder, the beatles, bob marley, and others during your ” tim and I look at shit” thing recenly. everyones entitled to a opinon and i actually agree with a couple of his dislikes. is there any legendary artist you dont like or dont get the appeal? what about hip hop artist?

Oh, there are tons of hip hop artists I feel that way about. Off the bat, Tupac. I mean, he was OKAY but that was about it. Lil’ Wayne too. Even in his prime he just sounded like an underground rapper from the mid-90’s crossed with Jay-Z.
I hate to throw these dudes in , but the Roots. I tried to like them for a long time. I really did. I just was always bored. Musically it was fine and Black thought is a great rapper. It just didn’t stick for me. I feel as if Black thought has all the parts that makes a great rapper great except his actual lyrics. Like, nothing he’s ever rapped had stuck with me, no matter how perfectly executed it was.
I also have a similar thing with Kendrick Lamar. he’s undoubtedly a great rapper with a vision and a lot of creativity. I would never say he was wack. I just can’t get into him. Maybe it’s his voice? I really dunno. I wanted to like his new album cause it’s really well done and thoughtful but I just found myself never putting it on.

As for non-rap stuff…there are tons. Thing is, I was never a rock guy. So most rock and roll, i simply don’t give a fuck about. Nirvana…Bruce Springsteen…any heavy metal. It’s just not for me. I think it’s for that reason I got so shocked when Alaska hated on the Beatles cause, to me, they’re pretty unfuckwithable. But i think his point had more to do with oversaturation than the music itself. Cause from a song writing standpoint, who’s fucking with them in rock?

15 thoughts on “Answers for questions vol. 122

  1. i like how you can not personally like an artist but still respect said artist (ie Kendrick). That’s very rare nowadays.
    Although im sure some people will still call you a hater.

    • I get it. He’s good. he’s got a voice. I just am not that interested for some reason or another. One of my biggest peeves is when people write off artists they don’t like as “bad” simply cause they don’t like it. I can usually find good in most artists I don’t like. It’s simply just not for me sometimes.

  2. “a dude can’t walk up to some chick and grab her crotch without being thrown in jail.”

    Says the guy who has never been to a house party anywhere, ever.

  3. I like a lot of the stuff coming out of Black Hippy/Top Dawg, but feel the same about GKMC: its just got too much puberty in it for me to relate to.

  4. Block, these are the cookies that I baked for the last show I DJd. Let’s find a distributor and market these fuckers! 😉 (or book a show in Riverside and I’ll have them, freshly baked!)

      • nigga please. I use a combination of 100% butter and a tbsp of bacon grease. The chocolate is acquired from only one of the of the few remaining chocolate milk-producing cows left on earth. The sugar comes straight from factories where exploited workers labor away, toiling 30 hours a day to mine for the rarest of the rare sugar crystals deep in the mines of Equador.

  5. I feel the same way about the Roots. Black Thought is an amazing lyricist and the band is great, but I just feel like I’m stuck in a waiting room when I listen to their music.

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