Answers for questions vol. 124


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What’s good everyone. I’m still hungover from last nights oscars parties! just kidding. I watch Walking dead in sweat pants.
This weeks batch of questions are some of my favorite to date.
Fun, weird, and insightful. Good job, questions askers.
If you have anything you’d like me to answer, send the questions my way. Either leave them in the comments below or email them to me at phatfriendblog@gmail.com.

say you created a cult following. what kind of cult would it be and what would your followers do. you dont have any choice they will just follow you around all day and bother you if you dont give them direction.

Man, that would be my nightmare. I hate having to tell people what to do almost as much as I hate being blindly relied on. I’ve always been of the mind that people should do what they want within the boundaries of common decency. Meaning, I do me, you do you and we kinda just leave each other alone. So, in this case, that would be an overwhelming amount of responsibility I do not want. So, if these people were just dead set on following me, I’d probably just have them run errands for me all day and buy me shit. In fact, that’s what I’d call it: The church of you running errands and buying me shit all day. If they’re dumb enough to join a cult, I wouldn’t even feel bad about that.

Is the fuck-buddy zone the man’s version of the friend zone?

This just blew my mind and angered me that I never thought of it before. It’s too perfect.
I feel like there should be a college class that teaches an in depth analysis of this concept to young men and women so they can fully understand each other.
To answer the questions, YES! holy shit. The similarities are jaw dropping. In both cases, the majority of the people put in whatever zone, want more than they’re being offered. In both cases that will often lead to that person in whatever zone to just kinda hang around and see what happens. One of the only main differences I see is that guys will be friendzoned for decades. That speaks more to most mens partial indifference to waiting and also how deep a man’s thirst can be. Where as, most girls , who’ve been locked into the fuck buddy zone seem to hit a wall. It’s rare that you will hear of a girl who’s been fucking some guy casually for like 10 years and everything is all good. I’m not saying it doesn’t happen, but it’s pretty fucking rare. Feelings get stirred. Pride gets questioned. girlfriends get judgmental. That shit has an expiration date. Friendzoning, though? That can last a life time.
I will say this too, I think it’s easier to get out of the friendzone (in very particular situations) than it is the “fuck-buddy zone”. Men are very definitive about how far they’re willing to go with girls, in terms of relationships. Sure, some men can be broken down over time but, trust me ladies, that’s not the relationship you wanna be in. But, in general, dudes have their mind made up of where a girl fits into his life pretty early on. It’s hard to create emotions that aren’t there once that’s been established. Where as, when a dude is friendzoned, because women do tend to be more compassionate , sensitive and less shallow when it comes to physical attributes, he’s got a slightly better chance to get out. I’ve seen a decent amount of dudes break down those friendzone walls, against all logic , and eventually end up with the girl they were pining for…and a year or two later, that girl is deeply in love with formally friend zoned dude. Whenever I see a couple on the street where the girl is super hot and they guy is a troll, I kinda assume he’s either rich or he successfully beat being friendzoned. For his sake, I hope it’s the latter.

What do you think about comeback albums? I just found out Skee-lo released an album in 2012… yeah, who knew he finally got tall enough to serve it up again. Whats the best comeback album ever?

Comeback albums tend to be terrible. I say this cause most artists, who have any worth whatsoever, don’t really just stop making music. Sure, people may take years between albums (aesop, fiona apple types) but the ones who had some flash in the pan single 15 years ago then come back? That’s never a good look. 9/10 times it’s a pretty flagrant last stab at milking ones dead career for one last pay check. Anytime I see an interview with some old ass rapper who hasn’t made an album in ten years, that wasn’t ever that great to begin with , talking about “I’m getting back in the studio…” I just sorta shake my head and forget I heard it.
Even artists who do it earnestly tend to struggle cause , when you take a seriously long amount of time off, you sometimes lose focus on what’s going on in music around you. Take a dude like Bill Withers. That guy was amazing for the majority of the 70’s. He fucking wrote “Lean on me” for christ’s sake. Then he just stopped making music cause he felt he was no longer inspired. While that was an extremely respectable thing to do (I wish more artists would embrace that type of honest self reflection) , when he got inspired again years later, the landscape of music had changed so much he sounded lost. He just didn’t have “it”.
As for best comeback album…
I think KMD’s Zevlove X returning as MF Doom counts. He took a self appointed hiatus due to some serious real life shit happening and not only came back strong, but he was better than ever. That’s almost unheard of.
I’ll tell you what won’t be the best comeback ever: Whatever LL Cool J puts out for the rest of his life. I mean..jesus dude…get it together…

I have a question about comedy. What is your opinion on comedians making jokes about tragic events such as school shootings and natural disasters? This topic might hit closer to home because various comedians have 911 jokes in their acts. Do you think these topics shouldn’t be joked about or do you feel that it’s necessary for comedians to stretch boundaries sometimes?

I think comedians should be able to talk about whatever they want. I may not always agree with them but they have 100% right to make fun of literally anything under the sun. I’m one of these people who feels there is humor in everything…in some form. Even the darkest , most awful thing on the planet, there is always a joke in there somewhere. Does that mean it needs to be said? Not really but I’d never stop anyone from doing it.
People get caught up on jokes like they forget what a joke is. IT’S A JOKE! It’s not meant to be taken seriously. Sure, some jokes have harsh realities between the lines but , often, people use levity to alleviate a deeply somber situation. That’s kind of in our human nature. The same way one might nervously laugh when he hears really terrible news. I feel, as humans, we should be able to separate ourselves from a joke. Unless that joke is specifically about you, it shouldn’t be that hard to keep your emotions out of it, no matter how close to home it hits.

Another aspect of this is something I’ve learned from making jokes on the internet. Everyone is offended by something. I made fun of fucking razor scoters once and people acted as if I made an AIDS joke about their mom.Often, people lash out at jokes cause of insecurity. I made a joke about razorscooters and you ride a razor scooter? Deal with it. It’s just a fucking joke. but, seriously, you’re a grown man, get the fuck off that razor scooter.
There is more than enough false outrage to go around in this world so jokes are great way to drain that cyst a little. People get offended by things that resonate with them personally. If you had someone close to you die from getting hit by lightening, you’re going to be sensitive to jokes about people being hit by lightening. That doesn’t make the joke lass funny in an overall sense, it just means that joke is not for you. And that’s what I think people need to get a handle on. The joke may not be to your liking but no one has any right to tell another person with free will what they can and cannot say. You’ve got the same amount of right to not listen/read/watch as I do to make any joke.

Yo Block, would you make out with Aesop for $5,000? If not, how about $10,000?

How broke do you think I am? As a straight dude, i can honestly say the idea of a passionate make out session with another man is as disgusting to me as the idea of blowing a dude. They’re equally horrifying. So, taking that knowledge, I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t make out with any guy for any amount of money. Partially cause I feel like I wouldn’t physically be able to complete the task without barfing in that dudes mouth (btw, it wouldn’t help or hurt the situation that i know and am good friends with the guy i’d be doing it with. Guy mouth is a guy mouth) and partially cause I simply don’t need the money that bad right now. If i was broke, on the verge of being homeless and 10,000 would be a life changing thing for me? eh…maybe. I can’t even fathom being that desperate. So, to answer the question, that’s a firm “No”.

16 thoughts on “Answers for questions vol. 124

      • What is that vocal track sampled from? I just brought this album back out for nostalgia, I used to know the answer to my own question, but I seem to have lost that memory… and it’s drivin’ me crazy.

  1. Would you say that a guy who sometimes seems a little vacant , as in not very engaged in the present moment or seemingly indifferent to his girls presence, and would rather go sleep at his (dirty) house all the time instead of staying at his girlfriends house whom he says he loves.. is normal? Or do guys say they love a girl when they’re really not that into her or getting tired of her? Or is it normal for a guy to act vacant and indifferent when he really loves her?

  2. Dr. Tony, I wrote a couple of weeks ago about a guy who has been staying in my bed for a few weeks with no action. He is still sleeping over every night for serious cuddling (like nukka is in love) but not really any action more than groping. AND he got me off with his hand over the weekend. We still haven’t kissed. It has been like 6 weeks of this shit. Please please please explain wtf is up with this guy. When I ask him (and I definitely bring it up pretty regularly) he says he doesn’t want to complicate things. He is basically my sexless boyfriend. I get that he’s exhausted (he works 80hrs a week) and I get that he looks at pussy all day (he’s an Ob/Gyn intern) but I’m dying here. I feel like it has become a challenge of wills. Since when does a boy want a gf for everything except sex?! I know I should dead it but I want his penis in me at least once before I kick him out of my bed. When I ask him if he’s just not turned on by me he says he is and that I’m hot but he doesn’t want to complicate things. Ugh. I’m pretty sure I woke up at 3am last night because he was beating off next to me. He stopped when I woke up even though I didn’t say anything just kind of rubbed my ass up against him. I am going to lose my fucking mind. Please weigh in oh wise one. Please for the love of god and all that is holy. How can I get his huge wiener inside me???????

      • That makes all the sense in the world. I’d guess he doesn’t want to “cheat” but he’s got a very loose idea of what that is. Basically, kissing and fucking is cheating. everything else is just being playful. Obviously, deading it is the right choice but if, at this point , you’re just in it for the sex and feel no remorse towards the mystery girl than perhaps you just gotta rape him one night. Give him head and , once that’s going, he’d have to be the dali lama to turn down the vagina. Judging from his past actions, he’s not the Dali Lama.

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