Answers for questions vol. 125


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Good day to you fine sir/madam. Here’s another installment of “Answers for questions”. You send me questions about anything under the sun and I do my best to answer them honestly. It’s a simply concept that seems to work.
If you have more questions you’d like ask me, please do. My mailbox is always open. Send them to phatfriendblog@gmail.com or leave them in the comments below.
Cool? great. Now, let’s get into this weeks batch.

If you could organise your own hip hop festival/concert, which artists would you have perform and who would headline? Also, if you could organise everything you needed, which artists would you have perform as a hologram?

That’s tough cause, truth be told, I kind of hate live shows. I know that’s weird to hear coming from a musician but I think the fact I do shows has made me numb to them.
With that in mind, organizing a festival would be a nightmare for many reasons.
First off, most of the rappers I’d want to see wouldn’t exactly be selling tickets. They’re either under the radar or too old. But your hologram part of the question actually gave me a genius festival idea. I’d do an all dead rapper festival. All holograms. Big L, Big Pun, Biggie would headline and all the guests would be other dead rappers. Eazy-E would shut that shit down.
also appearing? ODB, Guru, Heavy D, Nate Dogg and , of course, Tim dog. That would actually be pretty incredible.

I’ve noticed that people who live in big cities often look down on people who are from smaller places. As you’re from NY do you believe that people are more enlightened as a whole when living in a big city? Or is it solely a different way of life? Are there any smaller towns in the US that you are a fan of?

Damn…you’re baiting me here. I don’t know about more enlightened but growing up and living in a city certainly is a much different experience than the burbs or a rural area. Things are quicker. Competition is higher. It sort of forces you to be on your toes at all time and I have always felt that gives you an edge in many ways. At the same time, I think us city people do tend to miss out on some of life’s subtleties. I’m sure there are aspects of small town living that are awesome that I’m completely unaware of. I’d imagine the community feeling of knowing everyone is kinda nice. I’m sure it’s way more relaxing as well. Meanwhile, I’m trying to not make eye contact with my neighbors 22 year old cross dressing boyfriend cause I banged on the wall last night at 3 am when he wouldn’t turn down that same fucking Rihanna song he plays all day.
As for looking down at people, it kinda depends. I mean, I can’t lie, when things like elections roll around and I see the fucking tea party candidates getting nominated it doesn’t exactly make me feel great about middle america. Small town mentality has never appealed to me. Not even that, I simply don’t get it. Often, I’ll equate small towns with things like religion and tradition. Things I truly don’t give a fuck about.
I’m a city person through and through. I could never live in a small town. I’m simply too used to a city. I mean, shit, I don’t think I could live in a different city even. The bar is set ridiculously high when NYC is your starting point and that’s what you think of when you hear the word “City”.
I’ve been to small towns that i had a good time in. But they’ve always felt like a place I’m good with after a day or two. It’s like “Ok, cool…i get it”. Truth be told, i need the sound of whizzing cars and off in the distance sirens to even be able to fall asleep.

I have had insecurities about my bootie in the past, and have since learned to appreciate the curve. But, please elaborate… why are some guys all about an extra round backside?? what gives? And is the bigger the better?

This isn’t really a black and white kinda thing (I don’t mean that racially). Some dudes like a skinny girl with a flat ass. However, at least in the world i live in, most dudes appreciate an ass far more than girls even understand. That’s why when , if a dude tells you you have a fat ass, you should take it as a compliment. Same with being referred to as “Thick”. That’s something most dudes actually like. I feel like girls hear those two things and immediately start getting insecure. You will never hear a man refer to someone like Lena Dunham as “Thick” cause she’s more “sloppy”. Thick denotes more firmness but also some cushion.
As for how big an ass can get…it depends who you’re asking. I know many dudes who might look at someone like Ice-T’s wife CoCo and either want to vomit or salivate. It’s all preference. One thing is certain, very few men are complaining about a girl with a skinny wist and a round ass. That’s for sure.

You get to join any 3 current TV reality shows, each for an entire season. While on each show, you must do all of the following with a fellow “cast member”:

1.) Sex (Condom)
2.) Sex with someone else (No Condom)
3.) 8 Hour Car Trip

Which shows and cast members do you choose?

I honestly don’t think i watch 3 reality shows that have casts like that. I watch shit like Top Chef , Catfish and Shark tank. My girl watches all those housewife shows but I can’t sit through them. I’ve seen Vanderpump rules, Black ink, & love and hip hop but I don’t know anyones name on those shows. So, really, Washington heights and Buckwild are the last two reality shows I was fucking with (until The Real world start up again cause I will be 70 and still watching that crap)
So, of those two…
Washington heights:
1)sex (condom) – The singer girl Reyna. She seems like she’s been around the block a few times. So that works both as a turn on and turn off. Say what you will about sluts but they’re usually fun (with a condom).
2)Sex (no Condom) – The white girl. i have no clue what her name is (I’m getting some white girl name that wounds like a rich white man’s last name. Something like Bradley or Winthrope) but she seems somewhat asexual (even though she has a man) so I wouldn’t worry too much about catching something from her.
3)8 hour Car trip – Ludwin
He’s a little emo for my taste but he’s not a total moron and wouldn’t make me listen to reggaeton/terrible second rate drake raps the entire time.

Buckwild:
1)Sex (condom)-The hot blonde girl. No clue what her name is but , if you’ve seen the show it’s obvious who I’m talking about.
2)Sex (No condom)- The indian girl with the huge tits. Raw dog might not be the wisest choice with her but there’s no way that blonde girl isn’t a petri dish of std’s.
3)8 hour car ride-ughh…I honestly don’t think I could be in a car with any of these fucking idiots for that long so I’mma cop out and say either one of the two I picked to have sex with above. At least I could flirt with them for the entire ride or something. I’m sure I’d be ready to jump into traffic by the 2nd hour but there’s no way i could handle being with one of those backwoods bro’s from that show for more than 5 minutes.

Can you supply a full analysis of the following clip?  If you were to be a part of an endeavor like this what would you do differently?

First off, I can’t even count how many people have sent me this clip over the last few weeks. I see why…but still.
Okay…analysis? It’s a joke. There’s no fucking way this isn’t a joke. People are simply incapable of being that removed from reality. That’s saying a lot considering how insane a human can be but, i dunno, I just can’t see this being a real thing on any level. That said, it’s awesome. It’s really well done and they got the subtleties down perfectly so it looks legit but with just enough eye winking to let you know it’s not for real.
What i would do differently? Nothing. They nailed it. The only thing i would suggest, if the point of this video is to be taken as a real thing, I’d be less over the top. Maybe drop one single N-bomb. That might have people scratching their heads more. But, still, I think they did an amazing job on this and it’s fine the way it is. Very Tim and Eric-ish.

Are you into MMA? Are you into any sports in general? This question seems boring as fuck, but I just want to know. Don’t judge.

I don’t give a shit about MMA. I’ve tried to watch it and I’ve seen some awesome knockouts but the majority of the fights I’ve seen end up in two dudes hugging for 3 rounds. It just hasn’t delivered enough action for me to bother keeping up with it. I do love sports though. First and foremost, basketball. I watch it, play it, follow it closely and play fantasy basketball. It’s , far and away, my favorite sport.
Other than that, I fuck with boxing, baseball and a little tennis here and there. But, in all honesty, my interest in those sports doesn’t have 1/100th of the focus I do on basketball.

So, hypothetically, what option would you go for:

1) Stop your producing completely, you could never ever make music again, but you could listen to all other artists.

2) Keep producing but you couldn’t listen to any other songs ever. (This is hands down for me and most, but i don’t know how a producer would react. Aphex Twin for example prefers his own makings to any others. Also, i know your music is very sample based but try to abstract yourself from that.)

I mean, this is tough cause if I don’t make music, how do I support myself? I think that alone would kinda force my hand. I already sorta live that life in the sense that i don’t really listen to other artists within the instrumental hip hop genre but, still, what kind of orwellian shitty world would I ever live in that would make this a reality?

If you had to share every meal you ever ate with an animal, which animal would you choose?

A tapeworm.

9 thoughts on “Answers for questions vol. 125

    • It’s in the pile. I do them in order of when i received them (though that’s subject to change if i feel two questions are too similar or one would be better suited for a later edition). THe Cool Calm pete question will get covered next week.

  1. i only fuck with fat asses, i could beat off to a pear.

    i gotta question, whats the best show and channel on tv? with music and movies only getting worse have you noticed how awsome tv’s been the last ten years? even with a shit ton of reality shows right now do you think were in some sort of “golden age” of tv? has there ever been a better time for tv? for example id rather watch HBO or AMC now then any ten shows combined fom the 80s.

  2. Blockhead, you seem to be an expert of all things TV related, so I think I need your advice. I am still rocking a TV from the early 90s. I’m talking about something that was not even top-of-the-line when Super Nintendo was around. The only things I have hooked up to it is a DVD player and an original X-Box. I watch a lot of movies and cable series now, so I really need to step up my TV game. What type of TV should I get? My only requirement, is it has to be something that I could carry myself, if I ever have to move it. I can afford anything that size, so price is sort of not an issue. Should I get LED or Plasma or LCD? What brands do you think are best?

  3. In the last 6 years I have moved from Columbus to France, back to Columbus. Then to Rochester, NY and I am now in Los Angeles. In 4 months time I am moving to Boston. All of these moves are partially professional and partially because of my relationship. In know you love the NYC.
    1) Can you imagine any scenario where you would have to move every year or 18 months?
    2) Would you be willing to move across the country on one or more occasions to support your gf?
    3) Do you have an opinion of dudes who end up following their girlfriends all over the places or vice-versa?
    4) I know it’s been a minute since you lived in Boston. Do you have any 10 to 15 year old advice for somebody heading to that town?

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