Answers for questions vol. 128

Hello Everyone. I’m writing this from a bed in Vienna right now. It’s who they fuck knows O’clock right now in the US as i tend to lose track of time when ever I’m overseas. Anyway, being the reliable man I am, I’m not gonna let a little week long tour in europe stop the me from writing my stupid fucking blog. I may miss a day this week…Or not. Really depends on the internet connections in Slovakia, Slovenia and Romania. But, for today, I come with the regularly scheduled program of answers for questions. As always, if you’d like to ask me anything, I’m an open book. Leave questions in the comment section or email them to me at Both those methods work perfectly.
Anyway, I’m gearing up for a full day of eating great viennese food (schnitzel and sausage like WOAH) so here are todays answers for questions….

I understand the correlation between the title of your blog and the header picture but is there an interesting story behind why you chose the title ‘Phatfriend’ besides just liking the picture so much? 

The picture came waaaaaaay after the blog name. I had been sitting on the name for a while. I just always liked the idea of taking the term “fat friend” and rappifying it. Initially, I thought “Phat friend” would be a great band name or even just a song title but it was too silly for anything I’d ever put out (which is saying a lot considering the silly ass song titles I’ve chosen in the past). When I decided to make this blog, it was a no brainer for me. This blog is mostly me being stupid and the tagline “Sweeping generalizations and unicorns” was too long for a blog name. So, it would only be right for me to have a name that sets the stage for something a little more light hearted than someone who only knows me through my music might expect. Cause , after all, I am your Phat friend. Then I found the picture through a random google search and it was like the star aligning. Shit was magical and musical, dun.

from what I gather a large part of the artists you have worked with you’ve formed a personal relationship with beforehand. Has there been anyone in your career you didn’t know before giving them a beat, and possibly even excited to work with before you became good friends?

It’s rare that I’ve worked with anyone out of the blue. In most cases, it’s been people I knew fairly well or people I sought out to work with. Cage is probably the only guy I worked with who I was a fan first. I was a huge Cage fan from the 90’s so when I got to do some beats on “Hell’s winter”, that was pretty exciting.
On the other side of things, both Lo deck and despot approached me for beats and I had no idea who they were. But, after meeting them and seeing what they were about, I ended up working with both of them a decent amount and becoming friends with them. That kinda thing is way more likely than me working with some super star who all of a sudden becomes my close buddy.

Say one day you woke up, felt like you needed a break from your surroundings, home, family, friends and you just decide to run off to another place, hitchhiking kind of.. What would be some things you’d take with you?

Honestly, my laptop and my iPod. Well…and my clothes. I’d hate to be one of those hobo motherfuckers who stinks all the time and wears the same frayed up pants for a year straight.
That said, I wouldn’t ever do some shit like that. It’s way out of character for me as I’m not a person who’s typically overwhelmed or emo about anything. Also, I love my amenities. Skipping town to live the life of drifter, for me, would become basically a hopscotch from starbucks to starbucks to find a good wireless connections. Fuck that shit.

given the age you are (and I am right behind you so not an insult) whenever you and your girl go to family functions do you get hounded about getting married and having kids?

Shockingly no. My mom will make little comments here and there but she’s not one for pressuring me over shit like that (even though i know, deep down, she wants a grandchild immediately). My girls parents , I’d guess, are maybe more antsy about it (I honestly wouldn’t know, I don’t speak to them like that) but they’ve never said anything to me about it. Luckily for me, my girl has an older brother who has a fairly new kid so that most likely took some heat off of me.
I’m at a weird age where I either should have a kid or I should be gearing up towards a kid but, to be honest, I can’t say I’m exactly dying to do that right now. I enjoy my freedom too much and my job involves tons of traveling. A kid would certainly change that. Also, babies , when they’re not being cute, are kind of disgusting.

I’ve noticed lately (on twitter) that a lot of guys talk about girls with “daddy issues” Things like “if you have daddy issues hit me up” stuff like that along the line.. What do they mean by that? What is about girls with daddy issues that’s attractive? Or even a good thing? Have you had any experiences with girls like that?

Fitting follow up to the previous question.
Umm…daddy issues are everywhere. They can range anywhere from a girl who’s too obsessed with her dad to a girl who hates her dad to a girl who was abandoned by her dad to a girl who had sex with her dad. Basically, anything that may occur between a father and daughter that eventually results in the girl acting a certain way (either negatively or sexually). Like, I’d say most porn stars most likely have daddy issues. I’m not a doctor and have done no research on that, but that’s an assumption I’m willing to stand by.
The fact of the matter is that most girls do have daddy issues in some way. How could they not? Surely their dads have played a significant roll in their lives. I bet most guys have mommy issues as well. But , typically, when someone is being referred to as a person with “Daddy issues” they usually just me “oh, she’s crazy” or “oh, she’s a slut”.
Why do some men find this attractive? Perhaps cause a lot of guys are deeply into crazy sluts. A lot of those types of girls are willing to do some crazy shit sexually or they’re lunacy is attractive to guys who like trouble. I find guys who specifically go after girls like this to be kinda low lives….It’s seeking out damaged goods so you can take advantage of them.
Have I experienced girls like this? Of course. Any guy who has been single and sexually active for any amount of time has. I’ve always been repelled by them though so I can’t say I’ve even been in a relationship with a girl who’s daddy issues were above average. I’ve sure as hell boned a few though and, while they were an experience, I can’t say i miss them.

Who is your favorite current and past NBA player and which one-five (past or present) players would you let Methodman torture and why?

Player #1)
I’ll fucking tie you to a fucking bedpost with your ass cheeks spread out and shit. Put a hanger on a fucking stove and let that shit sit there for like a half hour. Take it off and stick it in your ass slow like Tssssssss.

Player #2)
Yeah I’ll fucking lay your nuts on a fucking dresser. Just your nuts laying on a fucking dresser. And bang them shits with a spiked fucking bat. Oh. What’s up? BLOW!

Player #3)
I’ll fucking pull your fucking tongue out your fucking mouth and stab the shit with a rusty screwdriver, BLOW!

Player #4)
I’ll fucking hang you by your fucking dick off a fucking twelve story building out this motherfucker.

Player #5)
I’ll fucking sew your asshole closed, and keep feedin you and feedin you, and feedin you, and feedin you.
Not that you would actually want Methodman’s imagination running wild in real life. 

This question makes very little sense but I’ll play along.
My favorite basketball player of all time is Dominique Wilkins. Currently, it’s hard to gauge cause I play fantasy basketball so it skews my opinion of players. I do think kyrie irving and James harden are the two most exciting players to watch though. now as for this retarded method man angle…I’d let Chris “The Birdman” Anderson so all of these cause I feel like he’d do each with one the proper amount of zeal.

10 thoughts on “Answers for questions vol. 128

  1. Seriously…that last question? I think I know what they were getting at but man..get some simple communication skills guy..

    • The thing about that question is that how would I even being to answer that? There’s no logic or reason that can be applied to it that would even begin to make the answer funny or entertaining.

  2. Has any man ever confessed to loving you, in that way? I mean someone in your life… not on the internet (totally guilty here), so…

  3. Have you ever been stuck in a shitty situation that you felt there was no way out of? Like after going through your options you came to the conclusion that it was just your lot in life to be miserable indefinitely?

  4. I really love Crap Artists, did you produce that? A friend of mine said that it was El-P, but it doesn’t sound like El-P’s style. Thanks!

  5. Seeing how women have decided to own the word “Bitch” (“I’m the baddest bitch in the room”), and calling someone a “Ho” doesn’t quite have the same impact it did 20 years ago (I blame this entirely on the Rap music), what is the most offensive word you could call a female in 2013?

    Don’t get me wrong, I don’t hate women. I’m talking about a completely hypothetical scenario like if your girlfriend of 3 years had sex with your best friend, gave you crabs, went AWOL, maxed out your credit card, huffed some dust cleaner, then wrapped your car around a light pole.

    Do you just add a “hard r” to “Ho”? Do you get all English, and say the “C word”? Is there something entirely more offensive that I have never heard off?

    What if you really want to insult a dude? Do you call them a “Douche Bag”, “Asshole”, “Fag” or “Cock Sucker”?

    Don’t get me wrong, I don’t hate gay people either… but those last two are hard to give up if you’ve used them once. (no homo?)

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