Tim and I discuss music volume 31

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This week, Yung Timmy AKA Alaska and I discuss the music videos of French Montana, Toby Goodshank (as opposed to Toby badshank, which is way crazier and far more dangerous), and some early 90’s hip hop revisited.
As always, it’s a celebration of life and good vibes, man. Just kidding. It’s the same old two assholes who hate 85% of everything talking shit.
http://www.syffal.com/french-montana-toby-goodshank

Answers for questions vol. 136

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Whattup everyone. I was just sitting around imagining what the world of Game of Thrones would be like if they had cell phones. SO much less confusion.
Anyway, this weeks questions are fun. Thanks to all those who submitted them. If you have anything you wanna ask me, send it my way. Either Email it to me (phatfriendblog@gmail.com) or leave them in the comments below. As always, be interesting. This column is only as good as your questions are.
So, let’s do this

You are trying to fall asleep one night, when suddenly the ghosts of Tupac, Michael Jackson, and Elvis appear before you. All three of them are there for the same reason. They each have one last album worth of songs that were never recorded, and their souls will not rest until they can share them with the world.

Here’s the deal…Each of them wants your help. They want to borrow your body for 1 year so that they can record an album, convince the world that they have returned, and go on a final, epic world tour. They will be in complete control of your body, but you will still be along for the ride. Once the year is over, you will get your body back, and they will leave you with their entire financial estate, plus any future royalties… But you can only let one of them borrow your body.

If you refuse, then these 3 highly intoxicated ghouls will follow you around for the rest of your life like that movie “The Frighteners” starring Michael J. Fox. Which one of these former celebrities will you help?

I’m assuming they come back looking like them and not me cause, really, who’s gonna buy that I’m any of these people. If you had the other way in mind, I call bullshit. Cause, let’s be honest, if i came back with the voice and “moves” of any of these guys looking like me, I’d get thrown in a asylum within hours.
This is pretty easy. I’d choose Tupac and here’s why:
Elvis is old and fat. No one is trying to hear some new elvis shit. He hasn’t been popular in the states since Jimmy Carter was President and anyone who would buy an Elvis record in 2013 is probably too deaf to listen to it anyway.

M.J. is already a faceless ghoul who definitely will always carry the kid toucher stigma with him. Sure, he could put an album out and tour south america and asia for millions of dollars but he’s simply too old and I’m pretty sure he’s made of balsa wood. He would definitely be the biggest money maker but I don’t think it would be fun to be him.

Tupac would be my choice cause, while I don’t give a shit about his music, his fan base is still very much alive. Not only that, but if he came back people would be like “I knew it!” and his career would be bigger than ever. Also, he died young enough that I think he’d enjoy his life. Although, he might give me AIDS with all the consequence free fucking he’d be doing. But I suppose that’s the risk of being reborn Tupac for a year.

i gotta question, do ever get free shit being an artist? whats the best free shit youve ever got?

You know what? Not really. I’m not of that level where people will give me shit cause I’m like a walking advertisement. I simply don’t have that kinda pull. The best shit, by far, I ever got was a Mini MOOG Slim phatty. Nothing else comes close to that. I have friends who have gotten free kicks, back packs , apple gear and shit like that. But, personally, T-shirts and hats I’d never wear are the extent of my bounty. On the bright side, I was given a great hat last time I was in St. Petersburg Russia that I’ve been rocking a lot. I get T-shirts the most and ,while most of the T-shirts I’ve been given are cool, I’m simply too old to be rocking shit with graffiti cartoons on it. However, I do tend to cut the sleeves off those T-shirts and use them as basketball shirts so all is not lost.

Hey Block, Just wanted to know your opinion of the, “Beast Coast” movement that’s lingering around in hip hop nowadays since you’re from New York.

That’s a thing? I feel like I’ve heard that phrase before but it sounds like something a blogger made up in order to fit all the rap coming out of the east coast right now into a nice little basket. So, even though I’m not clear on what it is, I can sorta guess. If it’s what i think it might be, I’m cool with it. I’m always happy when any new rap comes out that decent. Be it east coast or west coast or wherever.

Do the comments on your (public) Facebook page ever make you lose faith in humanity?

Dude. I’ve considered writing a long piece on this cause it’s seriously one of the more frustrating and troublesome things I deal with on a day to day basis (Yes, my life is fairly charmed). When I signed up for twitter, I immediately was subjected to a new level of trolling and basic fuckery at the hands of faceless assholes. Par for the course, as this is the internet. It was not that different than people on Myspace but it was more concentrated. However, when I finally made a facebook music page…HOLY SHIT. Twitter is like a land of evolved and sane people compared to Facebook.
Now, this is partially my fault. I could easily avoid all of this if I just stuck to the Facebook music page norms. Only posting music related updates. Not having opinions on anything and , most of all, NEVER making jokes. But, unfortunately, I refuse to take social networking that seriously. Yes, it’s an important tool for pretty much anyone promoting anything on earth but I simply don’t have it in me to not joke around. It’s my nature and all these different platforms are just begging to be used as such. I remember joining Friendster in like 1998 just so I could fuck with my friends. So, while my public Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/TheRealBlockhead) may serve a purpose of promotion, it’s also a sounding board of sorts. For my opinions on things but, most of all, for pointless jokes that I tweet.
What I’ve learned from this? People get offended at EVERYTHING. I’ve had 45 comment posts of fury after making a joke about Razor Scooters. I’ve had people lose their minds at me about my making fun of men who wear open toed shoes every where. I’ve had people be deeply offended when I tweeted a joke about some celebrity of questionable talent. I’d say once a month I get a private message from someone telling me that they are no longer fans of y music because of something I wrote on my facebook wall. As if I’ve been posting nazi propaganda or crazy political views.
Another thing I’ve noticed is, when I post a link to a blog post about something, and people disagree with it (which is often and expected), it’s clear they didn’t read it. For instance, I wrote a piece about how I don’t give a shit about pixar movies and the first sentence in it was something like “You are probably gonna disagree with this” and every response was “I disagree with this!”. It’s like “yeah man…THAT’S THE POINT.” So, while a lot of this can be blamed on my spotty writing skill, I do think that people simply like to be outraged…by anything and they’re just waiting to jump the gun on taking up a cause.
I’ve also noticed that the majority of the people on Facebook who flip out at me are typically from one of four places: Australia, The UK , Ohio or California. I have no clue why this is but it’s been fairly uncanny. Even more befuddling is that I know people from all those places who are lovely human beings. They just seem to be hot spots for people either don’t like jokes, don’t get jokes or people who love to get mad over things of little importance.
So, to answer your question, YES. My facebook comments make me sad and I question humanity on a daily basis.. Not cause it’s people disagreeing with me but cause of the way in which they do it. Some people can’t think outside of themselves and apply that to jokes and that’s really depressing. The amount of times I’ve had to follow up a post with “This was a joke” or “It’s not that serious” is pretty sad. So, to all of you out there who follow my twitter/facebook pages, I’ll say it one more time : PRETTY MUCH EVERYTHING I WRITE THAT’S NOT A MUSIC RELATED POST IS A ME JOKING AROUND. IT MAY SEEM LIKE I CARE DEEPLY ABOUT THIS THING I’M TALKING ABOUT, BUT I CAN ASSURE YOU, 98% OF THE TIME, I DO NOT CARE IN THE SLIGHTEST. I’M JUST FUCKING AROUND. EVEN IF IT’S A 1000 WORD WRITE UP ON MY BLOG ABOUT SOMETHING TRIVIAL, I PROMISE, WHEN IT’S ALL SAID AND DONE, I REALLY DON’T GIVE A SHIT.
Good? okay…let’s move on.

Have you ever fucked a porn star? I think about it but then again it goes against my morals.

Nope. I think people might assume I have cause I have few porn buddies on twitter but
I’ve never even gotten close. I’ve never even boned a stripper.
The idea of having sex with a porn star is way more exciting and frightening when you’ve never met one. They’re actually pretty normal girls (in some ways). So, like 15 years ago I would probably been scared to death to have sex with one. Partially cause I’d be scared of diseases but also cause I’d be intimidated to have sex with a girl who’s average penis size in take is 10 inches. But nowadays, it’s not as intimidating to me. I mean, I’m wifed up so I obviously would never do that but I’m just saying, doing that doesn’t carry the same stigma as it once did. Sure, porn stars fuck a lot of dudes but I was never one of those guys who would not have sex with a girl cause she’s been with a bunch of dudes. I’ve always felt dudes too hung up on monitoring their sexual partners pasts are kinda pussies. I mean, it’s one thing if she was a needle user but beyond that, who cares? To me, that kinda shit is slut shaming. Not having sex with someone over your own made up morals seems self defeating. If you’re not comfortable with it, that’s fine But don’t do it out of judgement of another person. Cause , really, you’re too good for a porn star? The irony is that most porn actresses probably wouldn’t bone any of us in real life.

Fuck/marry/kill Vol. 22

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It’s once again time to play the age old game of Fuck/marry/kill. I like to think the cavemen played this game (with slightly different rules and way more killing).
Just to clarify, these are all reader submitted options that I apply my rational brain powers to figuring out who I would kill, fuck or marry. As always, I must remind you, it’s not that serious and I’m painfully aware that, in most of these cases, all the participants would rather be killed than have sex or marry me. I accept that. But, it’s a fun game and giving deep thought to something this dumb is usually a good time.
Also, feel free to write in more options. Leave them in the comment section below. I’m always looking for new ones.
So, let’s get into this weeks batch.

Fuck/Marry/Kill: Maureen, Janet, and Latoya Jackson.

Fuck:Janet
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This is tougher than it seems cause every time I see a picture of Janet recently, she’s seems to be vacillating between looking like amazing and looking like a shaved down version of Mephistopheles from the Cats musical. Those jacksons sure do love tight face skin! But, even with that uncertainty of what I might be getting, the fact still remains that, when it was all said and done, I could say I fucked Janet Jackson. I’d say that’s pretty much worth. I got a friend who made out with Bjork once and he’s a legend in my eyes. But if i knew a dude who boned Janet Jackson? Free drinks for life. Even if it was the old shaved cat person version of her.

Kill: Latoya
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Was there ever a question? I feel like her crazy ass would hand me the weapon to do it. There was a brief moment when I thought Latoya was hot. That would be when she posed in playboy and I was 13 years old. That was also an era when I probably could have successfully masturbated to a bra ad in a seats catalogue. Well, times change and life has been rough on ol’ Latoya. For one, her face is all stretched out and she looks like what would happen if you mixed the show “227” with the show “The walking dead”. So, in a way, I’d be killing something that has, in all likelihood, been dead inside for years now. And that, my friend, makes for a guilt free kill.

Marry: Maureen
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Not gonna lie. I had to google her. And to my surprise, she was kinda hot. But, beyond all that, she’s not famous. That alone would give me hope she’s not a crazy person like her two sisters. While that may be wishful thinking, at least it’s a possibility. So, on the off chance she’s not a complete lunatic, I thee wed.

Fuck/Marry/Kill, the “misogynist” edition:A girl that does your laundry,A girl that does the dishes, A girl that knows how to make a mean sandwich

Marry: A girl who knows how to make a mean sandwich
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I just wanna remind people that I don’t make these options up. These are submitted by readers. so, you know, don’t kill the messenger.
Anyway, I live a food based life. When I travel, I could care less about seeing important parts of the places I visit or learning about their history. All I care about it where the good food is. This is a focal point of my life. So, without question, I’m wifing up the super sandwich maker. Did you know that sandwiches are the perfect food? Well, now you do. Cause they are.

Fuck: Girl that does the dishes
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I can do my own dishes…but it’s definitely one of those things I’ll let linger until it nears the point of chaos. I mean, who the fuck likes doing dishes? So, a girl who does the dishes would be a nice short term thing. I don’t need it, but it’s appreciated. Do my dishes, gurlll.

Kill: Girl that does Laundry
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When you have a “job” like mine, days at home are often filled with very little structure. Outside of writing this blog 5 times a week, I do crave some order and continuity in my life. Doing Laundry is one of those things that regulates my lifestyle. This is gonna infuriate those of you with real jobs but, for me, knowing I’m gonna do laundry is something I kinda look forward to. Not cause I enjoy it but because it’s an activity that, when it’s finished, I feel as if the day is not lost. It’s a small accomplishment but an accomplishment nonetheless. Oh, you worked 10 hours today and filed some papers and shit? Well, I did my laundry. Feeling good about it too! So, for that reason, I’ll kill a bitch quick if she tries to do my laundry.

F/M/K: Ashley benson, selena gomez, vanessa hudgens

Kill: Selena Gomez
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This is me being a bigger man. I don’t wanna kill Selena gomez. She seems sweet (i guess) and she’s very cute BUT she also looks like she’s literally 13 years old. I can’t , in good conscience , fuck or marry her. Even if she is technically legal for all that. Part of me considered marrying her cause she will, without question , age the best of all these girls but I’d still feel like a creep about it. Also, another part of me wanted to fuck her cause there is simply no way Justin Beiber put it down right and following that would be a joy. But, again, it would be weird looking down at her and seeing those big ass fawn eyes looking up at me. I’m just not pedo enough to ride that one out.
So, consider this a mercy killing.

Fuck: Vanessa Hudgens
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This was tough. To be honest, both Hudgens and Benson are fantastic fuck candidates. I choose Hudgens for this cause I feel like it was the role she was born to play. Prior to “Spring breakers” I knew very little about her outside of her being super hot and that she leaked nude pictures a few years ago. But, with all the viral buzz of “Spring Breakers” I was exposed to her in a different life. I saw her in interviews. I got to see her speak. It was via that , that realized she’s the epitome of “Fuck” in this game. Why? Because she’s a hot girl who kinda sucks. She seemed pretty vapid and , more than anything, kind of a moron. Very valley girl-ish. So, really, when combined with her looks, she was built for this lane. And I would not complain one iota.

Marry: Ashley Benson
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I really don’t know much about her. She’s a typical hot blonde. Certainly the type of girl I’ve never been able to bag in my real life. Is she cool? is she fun? No clue. She’s an actress so I’d probably guess she’s pretty awful in real life but it’s not my job to speculate. I think she sorta lands in the marriage category by default. So, it would be one of those “Let’s see what happens!” situations. One thing is certain though, she’d probably cheat on me.

fuck/marry/kill: coffee, tea, hot chocolate

Marry: Tea
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I’m a tea drinker, bro. Come at me! I like it hot, I like it cold. I like green tea, I like the fruity crap and I’m down for a black tea. It’s all good to me. Flavored water via bag of dirty leaves. Genius idea. This is a no brainer as, in many ways, I already feel married to tea.

Fuck: Hot chocolate
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Anyone who would not “fuck” hot chocolate in this situation is mad suspect to me. You’re either a total fat ass or one of those people who hates chocolate. In both cases, get you mind right.
I love hot chocolate…but I’ll be damned if it’s not one of the more situational beverages of all time. Come August, I’m not fucking with a hot chocolate. But there are also times I crave it on a level that I will go to great lengths to find a decent cup. So, because it’s somewhat of a specialty drink, it’s clearly not something I could have with any regularity. So, I’mma fuck it.

Kill: Coffee
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How mad are you right now, coffee people? So mad.
Hear me out.
I don’t dislike coffee. While I do think black coffee tastes like charred after birth, add some cream and sugar and it’s pretty fucking delicious. Also, coffee ice cream is one of my favorites. However, I’m a sensitive pussy. Caffeine fucks me up. I drink coffee and my heart starts racing and it feels like I may have a panic attack (though I never do). Hell, it’s the same reasoning that had kept me from ever doing cocaine. I’m simply not cut out for the boost. So, this is less about me disliking coffee and more about how that shit is just too much for me. Also, if you’re thinking “But what about decaf?” go fuck yourself. I don’t drink or eat things that are substitutions for they’re superior natural incarnations. Same reason I’ll never eat a tofu pup or drink diet soda. If you’re gonna be about something, be about it. Otherwise you’re just drinking/eating the greatly inferior pussified version and that’s just lame.

Song of the day 5/16/13

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I never knew Money By T.Shirt
http://www.divshare.com/download/24112519-c98

I’m not even gonna lie to you. I’m hungover like a motherfucker today. Normally I’d be scouring the internet for something for you to vote “Yay or Nay” on but I simply don’t have it in me today. So, as an alternative, I figured I’d bring back the good old “Song of the day”. Why not, right?
Today’s entry is by Ny Rapper T.Shirt. I did a “Yay or Nay” with him a while back and he got a mixed response but, truth be told, he’s probably my favorite “new” artist I’ve heard in a minute. He’s got a bunch of free mixtapes available so , if you like this, I’d say you should go check the rest of his stuff out.
http://tshirt.bandcamp.com/

Okay…So, now that that’s done, I’m gonna get back in bed and sit in the dark for few hours.

My neighbor: Livin’ la vida Loca

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If you follow my twitter or facebook account , you’ve probably seen me complain about my next door neighbor. I often tell tales (in 140 characters of less) of the constant barrage of loud music coming from the other side of my bedroom wall. I figure it might be fun to take a deeper look into this and really give you guys the full picture of what I’m dealing with over here.
So, I moved into the building I currently live in over ten years ago. For the most part, I pretty much keep to myself. I say hi to everyone in the hallway and I’m always cordial (I’ll hold a door for a bitch, no question bro) but I’m not exactly trying to buddy up with anyone in my building. Which is fine cause it would appear the feelings are mutual. As long as I’ve been here, I really have only had frequent interactions with two different people. My upstairs neighbor ,who is very social and actively in peoples business. I don’t even mean that in a bad way. He’s just kinda like the self appointed mayor of the building. He knows everyone and also knows what’s going on constantly. If I need info on who’s moving in or out of the building or what store is opening up next door, he’s the guy. So, while he’s a little bit nosey, he’s a good guy. No issues with him. My next door neighbor is a retired fire marshall (I think…he might have just been a fireman). He’s very much an “old new yorker”. He talks with the accent and has that nature that reminds me of the people who used to work in butcher shops on Bleeker street when I was a kid. To me, it’s a very familiar and comforting disposition. Unlike my upstairs neighbor, he was pretty much a ghost in the building…until about 5 years ago.
Five years ago. That’s when I started to notice a lot of extra traffic in the hallways scurrying by my door. Mornings, daytime, late night. I’d often come home from a night out and run into what would appear to be 6 foot tall women with terrible make up jobs in my buildings hallway. Oh wait…those aren’t women.
Turns out, my quiet neighbor had a taste for cross dressers. Not just any cross dressers. He had a type. Mostly it was black and latino dudes. This came as a shock to me cause, up until that point, I thought he had a wife/girlfriend. But, turns out he didn’t. Whatever the case, it wasn’t a big deal. I wasn’t bothered by it and the guy was entitled to enjoy his life whatever way he pleased. It was more a funny side note of “Did you know my neighbor bones drag queens?”. This behavior continued for the next few years as it appeared my neighbor was coming into his own as a gay man. I don’t know if he hadn’t been out before but there was a definitive upswing in his openness about it. Good for him.

Flash forward to about 2 years ago and I get a knock on my door. It’s my neighbor, adorned in a way too small silk robe , his chest peaking out and his deeply white thighs also making their presence known. He informs me that a friend of his is moving in with him. We both have duplexes and his new roommate would be getting free reign of the bottom floor (the room on the other side of the wall of where my girlfriend and I sleep AKA my bedroom AKA my studio). He also tells me that if he’s too noisy or anything like that, let him know and it will be taken care of. Okay. I didn’t think much about beyond “Oh, hey, my neighbor has a new boyfriend. “. But , soon, I’d realize that this was not just a new relationship being taken to the next level. This wasn’t you typical “people moving in together” situation.

From that day on, I’d see his new man in the halls. He was a young bow legged latino guy. Maybe 22 or so. He looks like one of madonna’s dancers from the late 90’s. From what I understand, he was/is a dancer. But one thing is for sure, this motherfucker LOVES music. How do I know this? Cause from the moment he wakes up to the moment he goes to bed, music is blasting. Always. Now, this is annoying on many levels. I’ve had neighbors like this before. I’ve also been the loud music neighbor. But in all those cases, there have been some limits. With this guy, it’s not only a constant flood of music, but it’s a constant flood of very particular music. Much like his older boyfriend, he’s got his taste. And it spans far and wide from 3 different Rihanna songs to the song “girls gone wild” by madonna to a Britney spears live concert.

That’s it. That’s all he listens to. For the last 2 fucking years. Sure, occasionally he’ll spice it up with some salsa music and he went through a brief Lady Gaga stage but, for the most part, it’s steadily been those specific songs for the entire time he’s lived there. And not just sporadic plays. I’m talking repeated plays , back to back of the same song for hours on end. Did I mention he sings along? You haven’t lived until you’ve heard a Dominican cross dresser sing “I’m not a girl, not yet a woman” off key at the top of his lungs. There are feelings and emotions possessed in that performance that I will never reach in my wildest dreams.
Every hear Britney spears rendition of “I love rock and roll”? I have. Performed through a brick wall, 15 times a day for 2 years. Feel me?

Whenever I tell people about this, their immediate reaction is “have you complained?”. Of course I have. After a few incidents of 6am music blasting , new rules were made. No music before 11am or after 11 pm. This held up for a few weeks until the parties picked up again. But this has been a constant back and forth. I complain, the noise stops for a few weeks , then it starts again. Such is the cycle of life, my friends. One thing I should point out is that my neighbor (the older guy, not the kid) is nothing if not accommodating. He’s not deaf and is always willing to tell his roommate to shut the fuck up. In fact, it goes beyond that. After Hurricane Sandy, the buildings communal backyard was a mess. I was back there moving some shit around when my neighbor popped out (silk robe in full effect). He asked that ,if i needed any help he could get his “wetback boyfriend” to come do some work. Umm…okay. That’s when I started to realize that this living arrangement was not on equal ground to , say, what happened when my girlfriend moved in. Pretty sure the the young madonna dancer didn’t get to do any redecorating. These two were not taking trips to Ikea together . They were not as much a couple as they were an agreement This living situation was dependent on two things.
1)That young Madonna stays downstairs
2)Sexual favors are exchanged.
In fact, it’s safe to say it’s an open relationship. How do I know? Probably by the constant flood of loud gay latino men , who spend various nights hooting and hollering next door. Inevitably, the hooting and hollering will simmer down and all of a sudden, thinks get a little more greek up in there.
Listen. Couples have sex. It’s natural. I know this. Also, non-couples have sex. There is absolutely nothing wrong with these two consenting adults enjoying each others company in a romantic manner. I just sorta wish I didn’t have to hear it. As it all takes place on the other side of my bedroom wall, I’m party to a pretty consistent and unsettling sex life between a man in his mid 60’s and his little “wetback boyfriend”. At any given moment , on any given day, I will hear the sounds of love being made. This love, however, has it’s own very particular sounds. Deep guttural moans, slapping (not sure if that’s hands or thighs colliding or both), and a soft latino whimper of “aye. Aye. AYE!!!”. Occasionally, it will simply be a head session and then I get to hear what it sounds like when a dude with a thick brooklyn accent gets orally pleased. Guess what? it sounds exactly what you might think it sounds like: UNNERVING. Unlike the music, I really can’t complain about this. It’s none of my business and it’s what couples do. But…goddamn…that shit is ROUGH to have to try to sleep though.

I recently have started combating all this noise with noise of my own. In classic passive aggressive white guy style, I’ve taken to blasting loud gangster rap right back whenever this dudes music starts blasting and , you know what? It works. No clue why but it seems whenever my music goes on, his goes off. Who knew? So, as the summer approaches and I prepare for whatever that may have in store for my neighbor and his many different sounds, things are actually looking up. Who knows? Perhaps by august they’ll be tired of fucking each other like most old couples and life will go back to normal. One can only dream…

Epilogue 5/2/14
Well, it’s almost a year to the day since I wrote this and a beautiful thing has happened. A week or two ago, my girlfriend commented “I haven’t heard our friend in a while…”. She was right. No blasting Rihanna songs, not feet clopping around and not guttural sex sounds that make balls jump back into my stomach. Nothing. It would appear his time has passed. I don’t know where he went, I don’t know why he left but he’s gone. He’s out of here and I could not be happier. So, Bon Voyage, you fucking asshole. It was fun (for you) while it lasted. I can only hope the next lonely old man you grift a home out of will be as kind and well…absent as my neighbor was. In his honer, I will dim the lights in my apartment and blast MAdonna’s “girls gone wild” by candlelight tonight. Goodbye, sweet prince.

Answers for questions Vol. 135

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Hello everyone!
Time once again for my version of AMA. Ask me anything. Really. Do it.
In fact, my question queue is getting kinda thin so I actually need more questions. Send them my way. Either email them to me at Phatfriendblog@gmail.com or leave them in the comment section below. Either one works. Just a side note, if you do send a question, get creative. I’ve answered questions for years now on here so “what’s your biggest influence?” type question will be ignored. Feel free to get weird and abstract. This column can be both informative and strange…if you let it be.
Anyway, here’s this weeks batch.

Recently (over the past year or so) multiple “microgenres” of music have been popping up; the most popular one being “vaporwave.” It’s essentially slowed down 80s music (occasionally chopped up with some added reverb), but fans of it claim it’s some kind of social commentary on our consumerist culture or some bullshit like that as a way of justifying its simple (and imo lazy) production. I’m a fan of sampling and sample-based music in general, but I think this is just a genre full of talentless people shitting out incredibly easy to “produce” tracks in order make a quick buck by selling them on limited edition cassettes. As someone that produces sample-based music, what are your thoughts on this? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cU8HrO7XuiE&feature=youtu.be

It would appear you’ve made you mind up on this one, huh?
This is my first time hearing of this “genre” so it’s popularity is kinda suspect for me. Sure, it may be cool in some circles but I’m pretty sure people aren’t making money off it. Do I think it’s lazy? Well, if this song you posted is an example and it’s all just one thing looped for 7 minutes with minimal additions, then yes. it’s lazy as fuck. But what separates that from any old classic MF Doom beat? I love those tracks and the vid you posted could literally be an out take from “operation doomsday”. So, I don’t think it’s that big a deal. This genre isn’t enough of a real genre to really deserve an opinion either way.
It’s funny though cause this genre seems like the spin-off of that weird 80’s film score music renaissance that got popular when the movie “Drive” came out. This is like the boring version of that.

I hear NYC is pretty famous for it’s police corruption. Do you consider this to be true? Have you got any good examples of how New York’s finest abuse their power?

I’d say police corruption is pretty big in most major cities. NYC is no different. Outside of your basics racism and arresting people to fill quotas, I can’t say I’ve personally seen anything like that happen. That certainly doesn’t mean it’s not there though. I’m not exactly on the cutting edge of crime in the city. I spend most of my days in front of a computer listening to obscure Romanian psych rock samples. Come and get me, coppers!

Hey Blockhead, how do you pick the names for your songs? Is it totally
random, just whatever you’re feeling the day the song gets finished or
is it some super deep and meaningful shit people like me just can’t
understand….It seems like in general artists who don’t have vocals
seem to have some pretty weird song titles. Why is that? I mean grape
nuts and chalk sauce? Which one of you jerks drank my arnold palmer?
Kinda has me wondering…

It depends. More often that not, it’s one of two things. An Inside joke with myself or just the feeling the beat gave me. With the inside joke titles, it’s often just me going down a rabbit hole until I land on something that has a nice ring to it. Like, with “Which one of you jerks stole my Arnold palmer”, That started from a place of “this sounds like a song for the summer” then turned to “I’m seeing people sitting on a porch having beverages on a warm day in July” to “I’d like an Arnold Palmer (a half lemonade/half Ice tea) in that situation” to “What if someone stole my Arnold palmer?” to “Which one of you jerks stole my Arnold palmer?”.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TvL2CrdpUjw
“Grape nuts and Chalk sauce” came from me thinking the beat sounded middle eastern. That reminded me of falafel. I think falafel sucks. They taste like grape nuts and chalk sauce. Boom…a title is born.

But, more often than not, the title is based on the feeling. “Raining clouds” felt like a before, during and after of a major storm. “Expiration date” was based on the inevitable course of a relationship coming to a close. Stuff like that. I pretty much just try to either lead the listener to where I’m coming from or confuse them with inside joke nonsense. So, my advice would be to never look to deep into the song titles. It might not be worth it.

Question, when do you think you’ll call it quits with playing ball?
I think about this all the time. As my main source of exercise and one of my favorite things to do, I wonder when the ship will sail. I play ball with a few guys well into their 40’s and early 50’s so there is a little hope. When i used to go to the park, there would be some dudes in their 60’s there. I suppose the biggest challenge is just not getting badly hurt. Recovery time is a motherfucker the older you get. Even now, in my mid 30’s, I’m constantly a little injured. My ankles, my back, my groin. Something is always off. I’d imagine that just gets worse and worse. SO, to answer the question, I’m hoping I can be one of those 60 year olds that’s still functional enough to play with other 60 year olds. That’s my goal.

So after going to Coachella and seeing Aesop perform, my boyfriend and I who both read your Facebook/Blog were wondering how you would fare at such an event? I don’t know if you’ve performed there before, but is it the epitome of everything you hate in the world? i.e. hot, sweaty, drugged up, bare-foot, pretentious hipster indie kids who don’t know half the music they’re rolling balls to? Would you be in and out of there after your set, or would you stick around to people watch/drink/enjoy the show?

I’ve played my fair share of festivals but never anything remotely as huge as Coachella. But, the point is, I’ve seen that world on some level. My whole M.O. with festivals is typically to get in, do my show and get out. Not cause I hate everything about the festivals but cause I don’t wanna get stranded in nature. Typically, i stay at a hotel near the festival site but lots of these things are in the middle of nowhere so it’s real easy to be forgotten and left to your own devices. Speaking of devices, phones pretty much never work at these things either so that’s another issue.
There have been a few that I’ve hung out at a little afterwards. It really just depends on the accommodations. but, I’m also not really a drug guy and booze is hard to find sometimes at these events so there is rarely much for me to do at them.
But the people? I don’t have that much of an issue. Sure, many of the festival folk are not the typical type of people I hang with but they’re usually pretty nice and friendly. I’ve never had an issue with them and , really, they’re no different from people at my shows in a lot of ways. Just with way more hula hoops, glowsticks and less shoes.
For more on my festival life, here are some pieces I’ve written in the past about them. Some of these are pretty old and you can kinda see how my viewpoint evolves as I go…so don’t be put off by any harshness in the earlier entries. Of, if you’re more like me, enjoy the harshness. Either or.
https://phatfriend.com/2010/01/17/hippies/
https://phatfriend.com/2010/07/08/the-worst-show-that-never-happened-aka-fuck-quaint/

https://phatfriend.com/2010/10/25/festivals-again/

https://phatfriend.com/2012/07/19/camp-bisco-a-photo-essay/

A)Have you ever successfully worked a sample from music in a genre not typically sampled in hiphop (emo, indie rock, avant garde stuff, etc) into one of your tracks?

B)Which track off Interludes After Midnight took the longest to finish?

A) Sure. all the time. I actually go out of my way to find that kind of stuff. The problem with some of it (in particular emo and indie rock) is that I don’t like sampling current music (anything made before the early 80’s is usually my cut off). Partially cause it just doesn’t feel right (Part of sampling is taking something old and making it new. The way things were recorded in those older eras has a lot to do with what makes the sample good) but also cause I’m more likely to get caught sampling some newer shit. I’ve sampled tons of weird avant-garde music over the years as well as any genre you can think of. I’ve tried it all at some point.

b)I’d say the toughest track on “Interludes After Midnight” was “Beyond Reach”.

Mostly cause i was working around vocals and the original song was in a strange key. At least one that I must not typically work with cause finding parts to match with it was way harder than it typically is. Also, the breakdown in the middle went through many different incarnations until I felt I got it right where I wanted it to be. I typically work with lots of fluidity and rarely go back and questions choices but , with this song, I went back a bunch of times cause it felt off.