Answers for questions vol. 139


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Good morning everyone.
Hope all is well in your world. I woke up today feeling like I may have vertigo so, you know, that’s fun. Also, I just wanted to give a strong shout out to all the people in Atlanta who came out to my show this weekend. It was a lot of fun and the turnout was better than I ever expected. I hope to come back soon for sure.
Anyway, This is where I answer questions you ask. If you got any questions you feel need answering, send them my way. There are no stupid questions. Well, that’s not true. Most questions are pretty stupid but I’m willing to answer them just like i would the intelligent ones. So, if you wanna ask me something, send it to me at phatfriendblog@gmail.com or leave the questions in the comment section below.
Let’s check out this weeks haul.

How would you characterize most of your online fan interactions, and have you ever been the fan in these situations? What does it feel like to be who you are, someone of very limited fame, but to still have people gush over you in the way that many people gush over a person like Kanye? Have you ever actually experienced this gushing? What’s your experience of being a fan and interacting with artists? Aesop Rock has talked lots about these sorts of issues in various not-too-easy-to-find interviews and such, but I’m curious as to how your interactions stack up, given your considerably lower fame, relative visual anonymity (most people who listen to a rapper see him in a video or whatever at some point; producers not so much), and rather different personality/outlook (based, at least, on your “public” persona, in the case that such a thing exists).

My online interactions with fans range from very pleasant to absolutely infuriating. And, to be clear, when I say infuriating, I don’t mean I’m sitting around seething and wishing harm on people. I more mean that some person will write something so stupid it makes me sad for humanity. The majority of the interactions ,however, are totally fine. Even though there are many people out there who seem to make it their life work to be assholes online (I wrote about it just last week HERE) most fans are simply just supportive people who say nice things. I certainly run into a little different angle sometimes cause of how I carry myself online but, over all, it’s not that bad. Some days, though, I’ll get like two or three different people being profoundly stupid and it’ll be a little more depressing than usual.
As for the whole limited fame part, it’s kinda the best. I get to do this, make my living and still keep a good deal of privacy. I don’t have that many fans, but the ones I do have seem to be pretty dedicated and that’s a great thing. I think because of of this low risk/low reward kinda popularity I have , it’s hard to get an ego about this shit. I’m not being gassed up all the time and I’m pretty well rooted in reality. I know that, more often than not, your average person will have no fucking clue who I am and I’d have to reference fatboy slim or Moby to even give them an idea of what kind of music I make. (side note, when describing what kinda music I make the explanation tree goes as follows: Have you heard of RJd2? No. Dj shadow? No. The avalanches? No. Boards of canada? no. Moby? YES! Well, I make music kinda like moby.)
as for my own fanship, I’ve never been that guy. Aside from going up to a few rappers when I was younger and shaking their hand, I’ve always steered clear of that kinda shit. Dunno why…I’m just not a person who gushes over people in general. Any girl i’ve ever dated can attest to that. The few times I’ve interacted with people i was a huge fan of, I’m generally kinda quiet and agreeable. I’m not trying to become their friend or make an impression. If time passed , we got to talking and they seemed cool about it, I might ask a few questions. Actually, I did a show with Gift of Gab this past weekend in Atlanta and that kinda happened. I was a HUGE blackalicious fan and he was a super down to earth guy. So we chatted a bit and I definitely had some fan moments. I hope I didn’t annoy him.

when i wipe my ass, i hunch forward spread my legs and wipe back to front releasing the toilet paper before it reaches my taint. i found that wiping this way gets my butt the cleanest, i dont know if its the angel or the fact that you have more space to work with but most people think im strange. most people reach around there back and wipe front to back(sheep!!!).

which brings me to question, what do you do? have you ever tried to switch it up? is it possible that the vast majority of people have been missing out on a cleaner butt hole by wiping over their backs?

You realize your pulling shit debris towards your balls, right? If you’ve ever wondered why girls hate giving you head, look no further than that, Shitty balls.
No, I wipe my ass like a normal person. Front to back, sitting. This is a well worn topic round these parts (which is pretty telling of both me and my readers). I think I even did a poll a while back cause I had heard about people who stand up to wipe their asses and it blew my mind.

·What’s a crazy thing you’ve done or has happened that gave you an adrenaline rush?
Probably answering the previous question about wiping my ass.
Nah, but seriously, I’m not an adrenaline junkie at all. That kinda shit gives me more anxiety than excitement. I’m just a much more passive and reserved person , in that sense.
The most pumped up I’ve ever been was probably after seeing some dudes get shot in a pool hall when I was 15. My friends and I bolted out of there and ran full speed about 5 blocks back to one of our houses. Oh, actually, on second thought, maybe that time I caught that gnarly wave was more exciting than that. I was riding giants , brah. Just kidding. The only thing I surf is youjizz.com. Now THAT’S extreme.

What’s the best way for someone to get into producing as a hobby from 0 knowledge at this point in time. I rap (not giving you a link, because I know that this isn’t the place for that), and am interested in slowly working into doing my own production. Most of the guides available are of shitty EDM artists teaching shitty EDM fans how to make shitty EDM music, as opposed to guides that include considerations for hip-hop/lessons in sampling/just the right amount of theory/etc.

I don’t think there is a best way. It’s one of those things you just kinda go into blindly. I’m sure there are courses you could take but I feel like that’s like taking a stand up comedy tutorial. The best was to learn is to just jump right in. Do a little research. Do you wanna use a sampler or would you prefer just keeping it all on software? What programs work best with what you’re trying to achieve? When i started, there were like 4 viable types of samplers so the choice wasn’t that hard. I played around with an ASR-10 and then bought it. It was that simple. I could have easily gotten a MPC and SP1200 but I didn’t and the rest is history. I feel like, if you have any talent or drive, you should be able to work with what you have. The machines and software are just like instruments. You gotta just learn how to play them.

Do you think people with Alzheimer`s disease commemorate Remembrance Day?

This is something I would find in my “drafts” on twitter. Don’t think it would make the cut which is saying a lot cause have you seen some of the shit I’ve tweeted?

you seem to generally be not easily impressed with music… ive read a few of your columns where you’ve been critical of stuff and whatever, but what instrumental hip hop or newer beat driven artists or albums from the last few years are really impressing you?

I should file this under FAQ. As many of you know, I don’t really listen to much (if any) instrumental music. I just prefer music with vocals on it. There are plenty of great people out there (Bonobo, Hot sugar, AM break ups) who make really dope music but, unless there is a rapper or singer on it, I’m probably not giving it more than a passing listen. I realize this is totally contradictory to what i create myself but that question will be answered in due time. I mean that literally as I have a question in my queue asking me about that specifically.

If you could have a State (of the United States) vanish completely off the face of the earth, never exist.. which would it be and why?

Shit…this might burn some bridges…but there also isn’t a definitive answer. I mean, for the sake of humanity, it would have to be either Texas or florida but, at the same time, both those places have awesome parts so i’d be killing off a lot of good in exchange for ridding the earth of even more evil. I dunno if that’s a fair trade. Also, I do shows in both those places on occasion so there’s that too.
I might take the civil route and just rid the country of some place like north or south dakota. I’ve never even been to those states but I’d imagine i’d just be killing off a bunch of livestock and highway rest stops. Besides, aren’t there like under a million people in those states , even though they’re like 4 times as big as Ohio. I think I could live with that. But, also, my condolences to the 5 fans I have that live in those states.

19 thoughts on “Answers for questions vol. 139

  1. Austin, TX here. Perfectly willing to sacrifice my life and the entire area (as gorgeous as it is) for the opportunity to watch the rest of Texas burn to a nice, blackened crisp (to be divided up and sold at commemorative county fairs).

    • The rest of Texas should be bulldozed and flooded with the Gulf Of Mexico. Leave Austin above sea level as a lone island.

      • I live in Austin as well. As you know but.

        I like to make fart sounds with real fart sounds. No sampling here.

        Also the first question was kind of an asshole question ask you. Fuck that guy.

  2. What do you think about female MCs? Do they work for you? They seem to be more gimmick-y, and for that reason I’ve ran across many people who simply write them off because they are female.

  3. Do you like graffiti, or have you ever done graffiti? Graffiti seems to be associated with hip-hop is why I ask, plus I know your dad was an artist of sorts. I go out and tag and take an artistic approach to it but it seems to be one of those art forms people either love or hate.

  4. You mentioned RJD2 in a list of similar music. What do you think of RJD2? What do you think of the changes hes started doing recently with his music, i.e. adding more and more vocals like he did with The Colossus?

    • Not a big fan of answering the “What do you think of…” other artist questions so I’ll answer it here.
      Rj is awesome. A seriously talented dude. I haven’t heard his more recent material of his but, as far as I’m concerned, he’s capable of knocking anything out the park.

  5. This could maybe be a “Dr. Tony” question but does it seriously weird you out if you see a couple with a big age difference? My parents were 13 years apart so I tend to catch myself being attracted to guys in their 30s when I’m barely 20, but I guess it just doesn’t seem too weird to me having grown up with my parents like that. I see this even more with people of fame. Ok, I’ll admit, that guy from Green Mile with the teenage bride is kinda creepy but for some I guess it makes since. The entertainment industry in a sense is about youth so maybe it’s not as weird in that sense? Would you ever date someone more than 10 years younger than you? And do you think there’s kinda a double standard, like it’s only normal if the guy is older? Do I automatically have “daddy issues” because I like older men? What do you think of the couples? Okay, that was like a million questions, sorry but it’s a topic I’d like your opinion on.

  6. Who wipes back to front?! I thought everyone was instructed not to do that as a child. Maybe it was only us girls. Wiping back to front is a really big no-no for girls.

  7. If it was suddenly legal to masturbate anywhere public in the United States, what 3 types of places do you think it would happen at most? Do you think all the places would be obvious, or would it become a popular pass-time somewhere unexpected like a Starbucks or fast-food drive through?

    • Even if it was legal, I don’t think we’d ever be liberal enough of a society where it’s cool to just whip your dick out every time you see a foxy hipster chick at Starbucks.

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