Yay or Nay: Ty Money

maxresdefault (3)
It’s been a minute since I’ve done one of these Yay or Nay’s and I have a feeling I know how this one will turn out…but, part of the fun of doing them is to get a feel for where my readers heads are at, musically.
Today, I give you Ty Money, from Chicago.
At first glance, his name , production and affiliations will either make you love him or immediately dismiss him. Basically, He’s a coke rapper with the word “Money” in his name. I know how much that bothers a lot of you. But, I dunno…Listening to these few songs he does seem to have more to offer than a simple blanket generalization might lead you to believe. There is something interesting in there to me. Clearly, this isn’t for everyone but I’m curious if any of you out there see it as well.
So, here he is:

So, What do think about him?

Fuck/marry/Kill vol. 30

What better way to lead into Thanksgiving than with a rousing round of Fuck/Marry/Kill. As always, lemme preface this entire article by saying none of this is serious and , if you’re offended by it, you need to calm down. I’m well aware I do not possess the power to choose who I hypothetically fuck or marry or kill. That’s kinda the joke.
P.S. I love that i have to explain that every week but , the few times I haven’t I get long diatribes from people who relate this column to women getting paid less than men for doing the same job and spousal abuse. Just know, it’s not that serious. It’s NEVER that serious when I’m typing it. I’m an asshole , but I’m not a dickhead.
Anyway this weeks batch consists of starlets, fruits , and directors. Have at it.

F/M/K:Batman’s sloppy seconds: Katie Holmes,Marion Cotillard, Anne Hathaway

Marry: Katie Holmes
The Metropolitan Museum Of Art Costume Institute Annual Gala - Arrivals
You know, because that whole thing with Tom Cruise went down, I feel as If Katie Holmes stock dropped way lower than it ever should have. It was like she was a star NBA player who accidentally shot someone. She may be slightly off in the head, but she can still ball out, know what I mean? Sure, it does make her either look crazy or like the highest of high priced mail order brides but let’s not forget how much we (I) loved her before it all happened. She was adorable and likable. I’m a man who can forgive and forget. Also, I have a strange feeling that that “fresh out the cult” sex might be next level shit.

Fuck: Marion Cotillard
I honestly don’t recall her as anyone in Batman so I had to google. She’s definitely beautiful (and a little nervous looking). This pick is more of a “she just landed here” kinda situation as I definitely had my mind set on marrying Holmes and killing Hathaway. I’m sure mrs. Cotillard would be thrilled to read this and one day tell her grand children about the time some guy on the internet shrugged his shoulders and said “Yes, I would fuck Marion Cotillard”. That’s a huge moment for any starlet. Like a step below getting your star on the walk of fame.

Kill: Anne Hathaway
I’m sure some of you are scratching your head at this one as Hathaway is definitely very pretty. Others , however, are rolling your eyes at how obvious and easy this choice was to make. For all her talents and physical beauty, Hathaway is perhaps the most annoying actor-y actresses of all time. She is the girl you went to high school how was so deep in the drama club game that she probably spoke in shakespeare quotes. Well, this may not be an issue for some of you, I cannot handle most actors. They are generally the most self involved and corny people on earth. I doubt they even actually have real feelings and I’m pretty sure that sex is just a breathing exercise for them. On the bright side, I’d kill her in a really dramatic fashion so, at least she’d be into that.

F/M/K: The films of Woody Allen, David Lynch, Tim Burton

Fuck: David Lynch
Neil Corbould 2
I’mma be honest, I think David lynch is really hit or miss. He’s made some amazing films but he also makes movies that I either don’t get or that bore me with their weirdness. But, for a fuck, he works perfectly. Cause, with his movies, you never know what you’re gonna get but you do know it’s gonna be , at the very least, strange. Sure, this could mean some terrible slightly violent ass play kinda stuff or it could mean some really interesting and rewarding threesome where everyone wears Scream masks. Regardless, I’m willing to take the risk cause I definitely don’t wanna marry his movies or kill them.

Marry: Woody Allen
I’m not even a big Woody Allen guy. I mean, I like his movies but I’m not one of those people who’s life has been deeply effected by them either. The reason I’d put a ring on them though is cause he’s consistent. Even when he’s mailed it in, it’s usually watchable. Sure, in his old age, that’s become more and more common but, hey, that sounds exactly like married life. As you get older and more stationary, reliability becomes a factor. With Woody’s movies, I’d know what I’m getting on some level and I’m okay with that for the long haul.

Kill: Tim Burton
While burton has made some movies that I love more than anything either of the prior two filmmakers have ever done (Pee Wee’s bid adventure, Ed Wood, Beetlejuice) let’s be honest here, dude makes terrible fucking movies now. When “Mars Attacks” is the last movie you made that didn’t completely suck (and it wasn’t good), it might be time to be put to bed. I dunno what happened to him…perhaps he overdosed on whimsy?Perhaps the end of the goth era had a profound effect on his creative vision? Whatever it is, I’m convinced he’s incapable of making a good movie at this point. I’d be doing him and myself a favor by putting him out of his misery. Who knows, he’d probably be into that shit.

F/M/k, Rock star daughters: Elizabeth Jagger, Alexandra Richards, Lily Collins

Marry: Lily Collins
Is she even old enough to be legally married? Whatever, she’s hot and looks nothing like her dad. To me, that’s a huge victory in this heat.
Perhaps it’s cause her dad was never a balls to wall, drug fueled animal type rock star but she , judging from the 15 seconds of google image searching I did, seems far more well adjusted than the other two girls. Sure, she’s an actress and I already spoke on my disdain for that kind of person but, hey, you know what’s worse than an actress? A socialite and a model. At least actresses actually do something.

Fuck: Alexandra Richards
I’m sure I’ve spoken on “Whore eyes” before. It’s not a bad thing. In fact, it’s great. This girl got them in spades. “Whore eyes” are a certain twinkle some ladies have that make every man they encounter think they have a shot at them. While this is never the case, just being around them is a huge ego boost, even if it’s all in our heads. That said, when i see whore eyes, I want to have sex with them. So, the math on this one is pretty simple.

Kill: Elizabeth Jagger
I dunno…she’s pretty and stuff but she looks like she’s been through the ringer already. I can’t even put my finger on it…well, maybe it’s cause she looks like her mom , Jerry Hall, and i always was kinda grossed out by her. This “Kill” may simply be the result of her own genetics that, while they are great, are just not up my alley. Also, I never gave a shit about the rolling stones. So deal with that.

F/M/K: an apple, a banana, a grapefruit

Fuck: Banana
I mean, it would probably fuck me, AMIRITE?!?!!?
Nah, but bananas are good for you and good on an occasion. They’re one of the few fruits that are actually filling so there’s that too. I fucks with banana milkshakes too. Though, I think all banana related candy is disgusting. For me, this more a matter of it being something I’d want when I want it, but I don’t think i could ever eat two banana’s in one sitting.

Kill: Grapefruit
I kinda like grapefruits but they also are a touch bitter for my taste. Worse than that, they’re dangerous. The amount of times I’ve had one squirt in my eye is like…i dunno…4? That’s enough for me to return the favor and stomp one of these heartless motherfuckers to death.
To me, they are only good for breakfast and , generally, if there are alternate choices, I will always pick whatever other fruit they got. Even some bullshit like a pear.

Marry: Apples
The timing of this one could not be more perfect. I’ve been on an apple rampage lately. I’m obsessed with apples. I eat like 3 a day. All different types (Though Granny smith will always be my main bitch). I would gladly marry apples. Hell, I’d name our kill apple just to make it clear how much I love apples.

Tim and I discuss music and stuff Vol. 53

rz and ac1 bw small web
This week Tim AKA Alaska and I discuss the videos of Kanye (couldn’t ignore it…), Cannibal corpse and Lord finesse.
This is a pretty tame week as, at times, it seems like Tim and I are testing the others boundaries with out picks. Well, we are. Cause that’s that’ what friends do, guys.

Peep this song I did for a compilation!

I did a song for the “array vol.3” compilation, put together by the people who book my shows over at Autonomous music. It’s an upbeat little ditty.
Check it out:

If you wanna peep the rest of the comp, it features 25 songs by a wide variety of artists including Little People, Dj Vadim, Emancipator and Quantic (just to name a few). You can download it all for free right here:

Answers for questions vol. 163


Tally ho! Also, tally hoes.
How’s life? all’s good over here. Gearing up for a thanksgiving trip to my girls families crib. So, I got that going for me.
Anyway, this is that thing where I answer any and all questions you send me. If you’d like to be a part of the process and , thus, fortify your role as a great person who contributes to society, please send me questions. Leave them in the comments or email them to me at: Phatfriendblog@gmail.com
Everything is anonymous so don’t worry your NSA fearing little heart.
So, let’s see what we got this week…

What types of fights do you get in with your girlfriend? How often do you guys “fight”? When you first started “dating” (I know you mentioned you took it at a mad slow pace), did either of you have stupid fights where you try and end it because you’d get scared ‘n stuff? I’ve done that a lot when I’d start to develop feels when I’m starting to see someone and would get scared bc I’m starting to feel vulnerable and am scared that they’ll peace out on me — I mean, I’m pretty smart, talented, and accomplished a lot so far in my life, but MAN am I weird and can be super difficult. I feel like the smarter you are the more difficult you’ll be — but maybe that’s because you’re just more complicated, ya know?

My girl and I almost never fight. Neither of us are that type. We’re both pretty easy going and , generally, not looking for combat. Basically, we’re both really passive , which makes for very little friction , in that way.
We do bicker occasionally about dumb little things but more the way any two people who live together would. Things concerning the house being clean and not leaving crap all over the place, etc…
I don’t think couples fight cause they’re more complicated or more intelligent. What intelligent person would want to fight with their significant other? That seems counterproductive to the ultimate goal of “getting along”. I think couples fight cause someone is usually either insecure or unhappy. Some people are also just naturally combative and, the more comfortable with another person they get, the more that side feels free to flourish. Which is too bad for that other person!

Have you ever been caught masturbating? By parents, family, friends, gf?
Yes and no. I haven’t actually been caught in the act but, when I was like 14, I was in bed watching tv, scratching my nuts and my mom walked in. She was like “Oh! sorry!” and then fled the scene. So, in a way, I might as well have been caught even though I wasn’t. I forget if I even bothered explaining myself to her or I just let it go. Either way it woulda seemed like I was lying. And, to her credit, she probably walked in during one of those rare moments when I wasn’t masturbating. At 14, that was a pretty common time passer.
When I was in college, my roommate and I were best friends. We had known each other since kindergarten and arranged the living situation. We were close enough friends where a game evolved where the goal would be to catch the other jerking off and ruin their day. I never got caught cause I wasn’t dumb and always locked the door. My friend wasn’t so savvy. But, the thing is, even when he locked the door, I’d sometimes catch him cause I’d quietly turn the knob and , if it was locked, I’d know he was caught in the act. So I’d put the key and bust the door open in one fluid motion. It was admittedly a strange game but catching someone jerking off is fucking hilarious. So much shame on display and, the best part, they don’t get to finish, which is also funny. Though, he did kick me out a few times and made me wait outside for him to finish…which was strangely gross feeling.

What are the stats on your site? How many hits do you get a day/week? What entries get the most hits?

My daily hits range from 1,000 on a terrible day (saturdays when i don’t post are usually my worst day) to 3,000 on a good day. As far as entries that get the most hits, anything involving porn or riff raff. Those two things are the golden ticket to site hits. It’s sad but true. Also, the Lana del ray write up I wrote a few years ago still gets steady readers.
Anytime something I post gets linked on Reddit.com, I also get an influx of hits as well.
It’s funny, I’m a guy who loves stats. As a kid, I used to play the early nintendo video games and keep detailed stats for all the players. This is like that but all futuristic.

What are the weirdest search terms that have led people to your site?
(Maybe you could make that a weekly post if you’re bored/lazy.)

The search terms people find my site by are fucking ridiculous. Almost all of the are porn related and it truly gives a glimpse into the mind of how pathetic most dudes are who are googling stuff. Here’s a screen cap of the top searches that led people to my blog…I might add that I have no clue how these searches actually landed the here but, hey, readers are readers, right?
Screen shot 2013-11-25 at 10.25.17 AM
The funniest shit about these searches to me is that it’s as if these dudes don’t realize porn sites exist where you can type any word in to a search engine and 50 porn clips will pop up. These are clearly come amateur masturbators. Mad pathetic, yo.

What are the major differences in your approach to producing for instrumental albums versus beats for rappers?

This is a question I get asked in interviews a lot. Whenever I answer it,I feel as if the person asking is expecting like two separate processes but, in reality, I do the same shit either way. When I make a beat, I make that beat. It’s got changes and multiple parts ready to go. If a rapper picks it, I sequence all those parts around his vocals. If I use it for an instrumental track, I simply fill in the blanks left by no vocalist with other sounds and samples. But the process is identical. I’m basically building a song either way.

Do you get any money for working on your blog?
That’s a rich concept. I wish but, no, I do this 100% for the love of the game and cause, honestly, I enjoy doing it. Being an “Artist” with no real schedule is awesome but , sometimes, you do need structure in your life. This blog kinda forces me to have some. It also is a great way to vent or rant about dumb shit that really doesn’t matter. It’s fun. If I could get paid for this (substantially) that would be awesome but I never came into this thinking that would ever be a reality. I’ve gotten asked about people putting ads up here but, honestly, I don’t need that 30 bucks (or whatever it is) per month. I’m good.

I blow glass for a living and was working a late night, when my friend whom I work with invited me to a gallery/music hangout, aka hipster mecca dubbed “the venture compound” right around the block. I came to a place where multiple tvs playing sleepy hollow on rewind, with random junk from all around who knows where, dantily decorated around this downtown st.petersburg crackhouse looking venue. Where I learned of a new sound/concept or even (very loosely used here) “music” called “noise” which is pretty much a bunch of reverb from the sound system playing multiple songs/sounds. I imagine u have a common idea or maybe even heard it as the popularity is growing. In my opinion. …its pretty funny watching these kids mesmerized in these meaningless, stupid, pointless, no rhythmic sounds. It makes me want to go listen to Mozart in the loudest possible way, just to reassure myself the entire world isn’t totally moronic sheep. So my question is, how do you feel about this new concept of…I dk how to put it… sounds/music. Have you been to a show? Or do u have absolutely no idea as to what I’m talking about? Do you think its another stupid fad? Am I just a cynical asshole? Or i guess I’m just getting older. If u haven’t heard it I’ll send you a link. Overall how does this make you feel? I went back to work about 45 minutes later in utter disbelief and thought, if theres anyone’s opinion I’d like to hear, is one of my favorite artist who (in your case) happens to be the most brutally honest in opinions.

I have seen a noise show or two in my time…not my scene. It’s been around since the 80’s , I believe. I mean…the genre title says it all. It’s noise. I feel as if it’s music for people who reject the concept of music. There’s no explanation that can sell me that kinda music is enjoyable. I don’t care how you deconstruct it. It’s one note…or a tone…that just hums with slight variations. I mean, perhaps there is a drug tailor made for that kinda sound but I definitely don’t do it.
I actually have an awkward story about a noise show I saw. I was Djing at this bar in chinatown once and they had a small stage there where people performed earlier in the night. I got there around 9 (I think I started djing at 9:30) and there were two dudes on the stage with their heads down, slumped over their guitars, turning knobs on peddles. They were two chubby guys wearing all black. Like, imagine if you took trench coat mafia guys out of their trench coats and made them eat Wendy’s for 4 months. They looked like that. Anyway, they were playing noise or whatever it’s called and I was sitting there just kinda baffled. They had maybe 4 friends there watching them and a person I believe was one of their mothers. That part killed me cause all i could think about was what their mom must have been thinking watching her tubby son make what’s basically feedback for 35 minutes in a shitty empty bar in chinatown. When they finished I went to go set up the DJ stuff and didn’t really pay them any mind. As I was doing that, I hear a voice say “Tony?” and it was one of the Noise guys. Turns out we went to high school together. I wish I had a transcript of that conversation cause I really would like to remember how I politely danced around me thinking his music was awful and, at the same time, him probably judging me for making hip hop stuff. Different worlds, I suppose.
But, yeah, that shit ain’t music. If it were, my bellowing furnace would be a world famous Noise rock star.

Demo reviews vol. 36

Hello everyone. Welcome to another edition of “Demo reviews”. This is a thing where readers submit their music for me to review. Simple really. Except I tend to kinda hate everything and have no clue why anyone would want me to tell them what to do with their art. Yet, the submissions keep coming.
Last week I opened the door to submissions and got a lot of demos so I’mma go ahead and close that door. Please do not send me your demos at this time. I’m “full” right now. When I need more, I’ll announce it for sure.
If you send me a demo after this point, I’m not even opening the email. Really this is just a test to see if people actually read this first part cause I have a feeling they don’t.
Anywaaaay, the reviews are like so: I do a brief write up the arbitrarily rate the songs from 1-10 in these categories:

This weeks bunch is instrumental heavy. Not my favorite but, hey, beggars can’t be choosers, right? Who knows, maybe you like that kinda stuff more than I do?
Let’s get on with it…

Song: A sense of adventure

This is one of those cases where, if given better sounds and a slightly more adept sense of song structuring, I could see some potential. It just sounds kinda cheap as it is now. Also, the second part flies of rails, tone wise as that little solo synth break does not mesh well the other instruments (around the 1 minute mark). After that , everything past that point is tainted.
Production:3.5 out of 10
Listenability:3.5 out of 10
originality:4 out of 10

Artist:Mike videogames
Song: Mission critical Paradigm matrix

The name of this song is infuriating but that’s just cause I had to type it out a few times. that’s besides the point though…
This is a track that doesn’t really work as a stand alone instrumental track. It would be much better suited with some vocals over it. Even though it has changes and some nuances , it’s still pretty boring. Not bad or poorly made there just isn’t much range to what it offers.
Production:4 out of 10
Listenability:4 out of 10
originality:4 out of 10

Artist: The branches
Song:After 4AM

The Piano sample (and variations) in the beginning were awesome. I was kinda hoping that would be the building block for the entire song. Once the actual songs begin, there’s a slight tonal issue with the first horn sample. It needs to be fine tuned or something. Other than that, it’s a decent chill jazzy track. The final section is actually really nice. Definitely a song that shows a lot of potential.
Production:5.5 out of 10
Listenability:5 out of 10
originality:4.5 out of 10

Song:Take you there redux

This is a solid, yet fairly uneventful track. Like the Mike Videogames track, it would work much better with a rapper on it. It’s got some cool parts but it simply doesn’t go anywhere. This is a beat. Not a song. A good beat, but a beat nonetheless.

Production:4.5 out of 10
Listenability:4 out 10
originality:3 out of 10

Artist: Steven Roe

I’m just happy to hear vocals…All these instrumental tracks are boring me.
The rapper sounds like a mix between Elucid and T-mo from the goodie mobb but not as good as either of those guys.

Still, he ain’t bad either.
The hook is pretty bad but the verses are decent. The beat is okay. I like parts of it but don’t like other parts. Not mad at it though. A new hook would make this song a lot better though.
Production:4.5 out of 10
Vocals:4.5 out of 10
Listenability:4.5 out of 10
originality:4.5 out of 10

Artist: Sean Woosley
Song: I hope that you find love

Hmm…so this is a rock song. At first i thought I was hearing a sample cause it’s recorded pretty lo-fi. Well, as I’ve said before, I’m not really the guy to be reviewing this kinda stuff. So, I guess this is a pretty good? Or not? I have no idea. I don’t mind it and appreciate the crunchiness of it. But, yeah, I’m not a rock guy so who the fuck knows.
Production:5.5 out of 10
Vocals:4 out of 10
Listenability:4 out of 10
originality:4 out of 10

Artist:Customer care
Song:Throwback to the weekends

I’m a lo-fi guy but this just sounds shitty. Was this recorded on a computer mike? Like the one you would skype through? Regardless, sounds bad , guys. That aside, the beat and live guitar are not working for me at all. The first rapper actually isn’t the worst…but he’s not that great either. The second is straight up bad though.
Pretty tough one to sit through for various reasons.
Production:2 out of 10
Vocals:3 out of 10
Listenability:2.5 out of 10
originality:4 out of 10

Artist: Eleven & Ormo

This beat is bugged out and abrasive but I see where they’re going with it. Not mad at it. The rapper is kinda in the same vein. He’s got some good lyrics and a definite angle. I don’t love his voice and he sounds a bit preachy at times but , hey, at least he’s trying something slightly different. Overall, this isn’t really my cup of tea but it’s nothing if not interesting. A younger me woulda loved this in the late 90’s though.
Production:4.5 out of 10
Vocals:5 out of 10
Listenability:4 out of 10
originality:6 out of 10

Artist: Daixie
Song:Beggar in blue

So, the theme for this week is beats that are decent that should never have been standalone tracks. This is no different. Even with the vocal sample. This whole song is just that and a few little inconsequential switches and subtle layers. Not a bad beat at all, it just makes for a boring song.
Production:4.5 out of 10
Listenability:4 out of 10
originality:3 out of 10

Song:Open Air

I could see this music playing in a 3rd world country version of the movie “Drive”. It’s got the mood for sure. I just don’t love all the sound choices. That said, it’s a nice mellow track that is definitely not offensive in anyway. Good background music. As a stand alone track? Eh…not really. But, like I said, for a movie scene it would work much better.
Production:4 out of 10
Listenability:5 out of 10
originality:4 out of 10

What do you think?

Things that are wrong with the world Vol. 29

I think we’ve gotten past the point where simply being a white rapper is looked down upon. Unless you’re Lord Jamar, most people have just accepted that , at this point, hip hop is music for everyone. Hell, little kids make it. Still, while wealthy kids from suburbs and urban socialites proceed in making music, completely not understanding why people might question their authenticity, there’s a bigger problem. The children of famous people. Rapping.
I’m not talking those kids who were groomed to be actors like Will smiths terrible children. They’re just following after their dads. I’m also not talking about the children of rappers who, even though they have enjoyed the spoils of being the spawn of a rich and famous musician, they still rap as if they grew up in the trap just like their dad. I get those people existing. I don’t wanna hear it, but I get it. I’m speaking of the children of actors or millionaire moguls.
The one that comes to mind immediately is Tom Hanks song, Chet Haze.
This fucking guy.

I like to imagine a thanksgiving dinner at the Hanks household. Tom and his wife are there. His successful actor son Colin is there. And Chet is there…slowly sucking the life out of everyone in the room as he regales them with amplified stories of the “moves he’s making”. Sure, his dad is a millionaire thousands of time over but Chet is probably acting like all his hard work and focus on rap singing in auto-tune is the real reason he’s been able to get music made. Not cause his dad was Forest Gump.
I also like to imagine Tom and his wife , alone in their bedroom later that night, silently weeping in each others arms asking the other where they went wrong with Chet. My guess? naming him Chet but, hey, I could be wrong.
Recently, this jewel got dropped by none other than Daniel Day Lewis’ son, Gabe Day.

(Editors note: Apparently he made the video private…which sucks. So just imagine a mac miller kinda dude rolling joints endlessly and rapping with his college buddies on the sarah lawrence campus cause that’s what this is)
Now, apparently, this is a kid from NY. I honestly thought Daniel Day Lewis was british or some shit but, honestly, who fucking knows with that guy. Regardless, Gabe is the son of possibly the most revered actor on earth. A man who can afford to make one movie ever 5 years and spend months in far away locations , whittling wood in preparation for what ever role he’s working on (I’d assume it was the role of a wood whittler). The thing about Gabe is that, just looking at him, I know him. I went to High school with 50 kids just like him. He’s a cornball. His friends are cornballs. Hell, even those wildly mediocre girls in his video are cornballs. But, at the same time, he’s also fairly harmless. Still, doesn’t stop me from wishing whoever played him hip hop when he was 9 years old had chosen bluegrass music instead.
Again, i like to imagine a family dinner where Daniel and gabe are sitting together. Daniel is brooding (I can’t imagine him any other way) and gabe is telling him about the new video he made where he raps about smoking weed and being his dads son. Cue more brooding…but with purpose.

Now, these two aren’t the first extremely well to do people from high profile families to decide rapping is their calling. No, before Gabe and Chet, there was Chilly Tee. Son of the Nike Owner Phil Knight.

He released an album in 1993 called “get off mine” that included production by the highly respected Bomb Squad member Hank Shocklee. I dunno if Hank Shocklee got paid in money or sneakers but it wasn’t the first time the Bomb Squad put their heads down and took a check from shitty white rappers (Young Black Teenagers, yall…never forget.)
Chilly Tee was exactly what you’d expect from a white rapper in 93 (Post Vanilla Ice rap was no easy time for most white rappers). He tried hard. Had good beats but, in the end, he just kinda sucked. But what he had in common with the other two dudes mentioned in this article is that he had the money to make it happen. That’s the thing. With wealth comes freedom to be an artist. All three of these dudes probably had very high expectations put on their shoulders from a young age. I’d imagine being the child of a famous/super wealthy person is not easy , in that sense. So, in a way, they were all rebelling. And what’s more rebellious that rapping? Well, probably being an actual violent criminal but, come on…these guys aren’t that dumb. Rapping is the perfect amount of rebellion. Weed and pussy. It’s ultimately safe but just dangerous enough to have Daniel day lewis quietly questioning his parenting techniques.

Now, I’m not here to say these guys shouldn’t rap. I don’t make those rules and they’re entitled to do as they please. Hell, there are people who could apply this very logic to me and most other white dudes who have made hip hop music over the last 20 years. But, in the end, talent is talent…and these dudes don’t have it. What they do is have the finances to ride it out as long as possible just in case. 5 years from now, Gabe Day (I suppose he dropped the “lewis” to keep shit extra real) might have released 2 albums and 4 mixtapes, done shows all over the country and made a plethora of uninspired videos of him rapping while rolling pinners. His situation and fan base right now could be the very same as it will be then. But, whatever it is, he’ll be okay. Once he gets over rapping, he’ll move onto the next thing he feels like doing cause…he can. Look at Chilly Tee AKA Travis Knight. He made one album that no one liked and faded away from music. Now he’s an animator and film executive. I have no idea if he’s successful in either of those ventures (it’s totally possible) but what I do know, for sure, is that he’s doing fine. He never wasn’t gonna be fine. While it must be nice to be able to do whatever you like in life , knowing there will never truly be dire consequences , I think I just wish that that kind of freedom could be given to people with actual talent and vision. Not some little dickface who’s only here cause he can be.

Bask in “The Rogglecast” Podcast.

So, I’ve been talking about doing this for a while and it’s finally happened. My friend Pollyne and I have joined forces and began “The Rogglecast”. This is a podcast where we just pop shit about various topics. It’s as aimless as it is focused. It’s also NSFW so be careful with it cause we do tend to get a little graphic at times. So, um, mom…please skip this one. Trust me when i tell you, you do not need to hear this. Everyone else, though, you might enjoy it. This weeks maiden voyage contains topics like what you do when a girl/boy you dated and did not like dies, a wu tang dinner party, pubic hair and masturbation depression.
So, yeah, if you’re a fan of this blog and me acting like an asshole, you will enjoy this as well…cause Pollyne is kinda like me but with a vagina and this podcast is basically extension of this blog in many way.
We do hope to get this up on I-tunes so it’s more widely available to download but, until we figure out how that’s done…soundcloud will have to do.
More to come soon but ,for now, enjoy!

Tim and I discuss music and stuff vol. 52

52 weeks makes a year, right? So this is officially our first anniversary. It feels just like yesterday, Tim AKA ALsaka and Iw ere on these very same internet tubes making fun of celebrities in “trending topics”…my, how we’ve grown…
This week, we discuss videos by Drake, AG and Bill Withers

Answers for questions Vol. 162

Just got back from a fun weekend doing shows in places I don’t play much. So , shout out to Salt Lake city and Wichita for coming out and having a good time. I definitely hope to come back to both of you in the future.
Anywho (how annoying is that word?), this is that thing where you you send me questions and I answer them. There is no topic ,within reason, that’s off limits. If you’d like to ask me anything about anything, send me questions! Either leave them in the comments below or email them to me at: phatfriendblog@gmail.com. Don’t be shy. It’s all anonymous.
Got it? good. Let’s look at this weeks batch…

Do you and your close group of friends have the same taste in girls? Random question, but me and my gal pals all have very different types (which is both good and bad), but my brother and his friends all go after the same general type of girl and have dated the same girls. Just wondering if maybe it’s a guy thing.

Some of us do and some of us don’t. I have friends who like tiny blonde girls with no hips, I have friends who are creeps who only dates asian girls and I have friends who prefer curvy latinas. I have one friend who’s obsession with big tits runs so deep, at times, it’s as if it’s all that matters. Playing the “would you?” game with him is amazing.
in general, there are definitely girls we all agree on though but thats somewhat expected when dealing with men. We’re not that complicated about who gives us boners. Even when guys have a specific type, it’s never THAT serious. A “type” is a loose guideline at best. I may like short , brownish girls but that doesn’t mean I’d turn down some hot blonde amazon looking broad. In the end, hot is hot and there’s rarely a girl who falls under that title that my friends and i will disagree on.

What’s it like for you listening to aesop tracks that you’ve produced? I know a lot of people feel weird bumping their own shit, but do you listen to the tracks that you did the beat on? I guess this goes for your solo stuff too. Are you able to just listen to these songs and enjoy them like the rest of us, or does it feel weird when you were so involved in the creative process?

Listening to old Aesop stuff is definitely strange cause I find myself critiquing what I did wrong. Like , for instance, the majority of the drum sounds I used on “Float” definitely rub me the wrong way. Or how something was mixed. Like the mix of “Oxygen” will always annoy the shit out of me…If I could just have turned the drums up…that song would have been so much better to me.

Basically, it’s impossible for me to listen to any song I’ve had a hand in making and just enjoy it on its own. I’m too invested in it and, most likely, I’ve heard it so many times that I’m totally sick of it. That said, it is kinda cool to go back and listen to some more obscure tracks I’ve done over the years. Ones I forgot about or haven’t peeped in like 10 years. It’s like a nice walk down memory lane, followed by a harsh self-critique that only I will ever hear.

What makes you laugh? How would you describe your sense of humor? How have these changed throughout adolescence, young adulthood, and now?

Farts. Farts make me laugh. They always will.
But , honestly, I don’t really know what specifically makes me laugh. It depends. Clearly, whatever it is, it’s funny.
I would describe my sense of humor and silly, witty and irreverent. I like my humor with a hint of meanness to it but never if it’s actually mean. Perhaps “perceived meanness but in a good natured way” is a better way to put it. Though, my facebook/twitter followers might disagree with that.
Also,I just realized writing a description of my sense of humor is both extremely pretentious and humiliating. My apologies for that.
As for how my humor has changed over the years, I honestly think it’s been the same for a long time. I bet things that made me buckle over in laughter when I was 16 would still make me smile today. I’m just more refined in my taste now than I was when I was a kid.
One thing is for certain, farting on someone will always be funny to me (unless I’m the one being farted on).

What song do you want played at your funeral?

As a fairly non-sentimental guy, I might want to have fun with my funeral song. Sure, it might be really sad to the loved ones I leave behind but, hey, if they really knew me, they’d know that’s how i’d wanna go out.
Maybe I’d stick with the theme of me being dead? These would be strange and hilarious:

Or perhaps the idea of a room full of grieving people being forced to listen to a song of my choosing to remember me by…and then making them sit through these songs in their entirety:

That one would be awesome cause it would make no sense and it’s truly ridiculous. A romantic call from U-God would be the perfect way to send me into the after life.
Or maybe this classic:

If for no other reason than the hilarious screaming verse at the end. Just envisioning my still, peaceful lifeless body laying in a casket while this plays…amazing.
Sure, I could be corny and play some super depressing soul song but , i dunno, I’m not trying to have one of those funerals. I want mine to be more upbeat. Or not have one at all…I don’t give a shit. It’s not like I’ll really be there anyway. Might as well go out with a bang and play some shit like this so they’ll never forget me:

What are the chances of me getting to talk to you a little bit after a show? Are you like Penn & Teller and always wait after shows to meet anybody who wants to meet you? Or do you usually get the hell outta dodge as quickly as possible? Because if I’m going to one of your shows (if you ever come to Nashville, that is!), I’m sure as shit going to want some face time with ol’ Uncle Blocky. Also, to elongate this series of questions even further: what topic, has someone came up to you post-show with, that made you want to stick around and continue to talk with them about it? And the opposite, what is something that someone has come up to you post-show talking about that made you want to end that conversation with that person as soon as you possibly could?

I’m pretty available at my shows. I tend to like to work my own merch booth…before and after my set so, yeah, I’m chilling.I’d say the best time to catch me is before I play (If I’m headlining). If I’m not headlining though, I’ll b at the merch booth after I get off stage. Unfortunately, for those non-merch showsC(festivals and more rave like parties) I do tend to be in and out pretty quickly though.
As for post show chats, I think there’s a fine line between speaking to me like a normal person and being annoying. In general, I’m a very normal and friendly person. I’m not gonna be rude to anyone (to a fault sometimes). That said, after a show, there are usually a decent amount of people that wanna chat, take pics or get autographs (AND BUY STUFF). So, my advice would be to be brief. It’s weird to me when someone will corner me at the merch booth while like 10 other people are waiting to say hi or buy some shit. It just shows a serious lack of awareness on the part of that person. If no one else is around, hey, let’s chat…but otherwise, it’s best to just say your peace and keep it moving.
As for things that make me want to end conversations…Really drunk people who repeat the same shit over and over again , while giving me numerous pounds. that shit is tedious and EVERY show has at least one of those guys. Another thing I’m not into is tech talk. I’m not a gear nerd. i don’t care about that shit at all. So , really, when people start to chat me up about it, I kinda just zone out. Not to mention, the look of disappointment when I tell them I’ve never used whatever machine/program they’re talking about. same goes for people who wanna talk music. In general, I don’t really share the same music taste as my fans. I don’t listen to much electronic music so listing a bunch of dj’s I’ve never heard of is typically an awkward convo to have. On the same note, I find people try and bait me into dissing shit by asking me about it. THey’ll be like “Well, what did you think of the new album by _____?” with a funny look on their faces. The reality of it is that, most likely, I haven’t heard that album. You’d be amazed at the amount of people who try and get me to talk shit about Aesop at shows. As if he’s not a close friend of mine or something. That shit always blows my mind. Clearly, there are many things I’m not crazy talking about with people but it’s mostly due to how much I’ve been forced to talk about these things already.
Basically, I’m a willing participant in chatting. Just don’t be a weirdo about it and use common sense. Pretty simple rules, really.

Ive been exaggeratedly into music for as long as I can remember, I’ve worked sense i was young to help my family and never really got to spend much of what I’ve earned on myself till recently. I’ve done alot of research and talked to people who all have diff opinions on set up’s so when I read your post I figured this would be my chance to ask you.

My question is, what basic/beginners setup would you recommend for someone with no grandpa money to make instrumental music?

This is one of the more common questions I’ve gotten over the years of doing this column. There is no answer for it though. I can only tell you want I know , which is not much. I use an ASR 10 sampler and abelton live. The sampler I wouldn’t recommend cause it’s both out of print and expensive. Abelton is awesome and, if you can afford it, go for it. That said, had I come up using Reason and an mpc I would have told you to get that. My advice would be to perhaps go over to different peoples houses (or even just a guitar center) and play around on their equipment. Whatever feels like it fits your vibe the best, then pick that. There is no right or wrong answer.