Bask in “The Rogglecast” Podcast.

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So, I’ve been talking about doing this for a while and it’s finally happened. My friend Pollyne and I have joined forces and began “The Rogglecast”. This is a podcast where we just pop shit about various topics. It’s as aimless as it is focused. It’s also NSFW so be careful with it cause we do tend to get a little graphic at times. So, um, mom…please skip this one. Trust me when i tell you, you do not need to hear this. Everyone else, though, you might enjoy it. This weeks maiden voyage contains topics like what you do when a girl/boy you dated and did not like dies, a wu tang dinner party, pubic hair and masturbation depression.
So, yeah, if you’re a fan of this blog and me acting like an asshole, you will enjoy this as well…cause Pollyne is kinda like me but with a vagina and this podcast is basically extension of this blog in many way.
We do hope to get this up on I-tunes so it’s more widely available to download but, until we figure out how that’s done…soundcloud will have to do.
More to come soon but ,for now, enjoy!

Tim and I discuss music and stuff vol. 52

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52 weeks makes a year, right? So this is officially our first anniversary. It feels just like yesterday, Tim AKA ALsaka and Iw ere on these very same internet tubes making fun of celebrities in “trending topics”…my, how we’ve grown…
This week, we discuss videos by Drake, AG and Bill Withers
http://www.syffal.com/drake-brian-haas-matt-chamberlain

Answers for questions Vol. 162

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Whattup,
Just got back from a fun weekend doing shows in places I don’t play much. So , shout out to Salt Lake city and Wichita for coming out and having a good time. I definitely hope to come back to both of you in the future.
Anywho (how annoying is that word?), this is that thing where you you send me questions and I answer them. There is no topic ,within reason, that’s off limits. If you’d like to ask me anything about anything, send me questions! Either leave them in the comments below or email them to me at: phatfriendblog@gmail.com. Don’t be shy. It’s all anonymous.
Got it? good. Let’s look at this weeks batch…

Do you and your close group of friends have the same taste in girls? Random question, but me and my gal pals all have very different types (which is both good and bad), but my brother and his friends all go after the same general type of girl and have dated the same girls. Just wondering if maybe it’s a guy thing.

Some of us do and some of us don’t. I have friends who like tiny blonde girls with no hips, I have friends who are creeps who only dates asian girls and I have friends who prefer curvy latinas. I have one friend who’s obsession with big tits runs so deep, at times, it’s as if it’s all that matters. Playing the “would you?” game with him is amazing.
in general, there are definitely girls we all agree on though but thats somewhat expected when dealing with men. We’re not that complicated about who gives us boners. Even when guys have a specific type, it’s never THAT serious. A “type” is a loose guideline at best. I may like short , brownish girls but that doesn’t mean I’d turn down some hot blonde amazon looking broad. In the end, hot is hot and there’s rarely a girl who falls under that title that my friends and i will disagree on.

What’s it like for you listening to aesop tracks that you’ve produced? I know a lot of people feel weird bumping their own shit, but do you listen to the tracks that you did the beat on? I guess this goes for your solo stuff too. Are you able to just listen to these songs and enjoy them like the rest of us, or does it feel weird when you were so involved in the creative process?

Listening to old Aesop stuff is definitely strange cause I find myself critiquing what I did wrong. Like , for instance, the majority of the drum sounds I used on “Float” definitely rub me the wrong way. Or how something was mixed. Like the mix of “Oxygen” will always annoy the shit out of me…If I could just have turned the drums up…that song would have been so much better to me.

Basically, it’s impossible for me to listen to any song I’ve had a hand in making and just enjoy it on its own. I’m too invested in it and, most likely, I’ve heard it so many times that I’m totally sick of it. That said, it is kinda cool to go back and listen to some more obscure tracks I’ve done over the years. Ones I forgot about or haven’t peeped in like 10 years. It’s like a nice walk down memory lane, followed by a harsh self-critique that only I will ever hear.

What makes you laugh? How would you describe your sense of humor? How have these changed throughout adolescence, young adulthood, and now?

Farts. Farts make me laugh. They always will.
But , honestly, I don’t really know what specifically makes me laugh. It depends. Clearly, whatever it is, it’s funny.
I would describe my sense of humor and silly, witty and irreverent. I like my humor with a hint of meanness to it but never if it’s actually mean. Perhaps “perceived meanness but in a good natured way” is a better way to put it. Though, my facebook/twitter followers might disagree with that.
Also,I just realized writing a description of my sense of humor is both extremely pretentious and humiliating. My apologies for that.
As for how my humor has changed over the years, I honestly think it’s been the same for a long time. I bet things that made me buckle over in laughter when I was 16 would still make me smile today. I’m just more refined in my taste now than I was when I was a kid.
One thing is for certain, farting on someone will always be funny to me (unless I’m the one being farted on).

What song do you want played at your funeral?

As a fairly non-sentimental guy, I might want to have fun with my funeral song. Sure, it might be really sad to the loved ones I leave behind but, hey, if they really knew me, they’d know that’s how i’d wanna go out.
Maybe I’d stick with the theme of me being dead? These would be strange and hilarious:


Or perhaps the idea of a room full of grieving people being forced to listen to a song of my choosing to remember me by…and then making them sit through these songs in their entirety:

That one would be awesome cause it would make no sense and it’s truly ridiculous. A romantic call from U-God would be the perfect way to send me into the after life.
Or maybe this classic:

If for no other reason than the hilarious screaming verse at the end. Just envisioning my still, peaceful lifeless body laying in a casket while this plays…amazing.
Sure, I could be corny and play some super depressing soul song but , i dunno, I’m not trying to have one of those funerals. I want mine to be more upbeat. Or not have one at all…I don’t give a shit. It’s not like I’ll really be there anyway. Might as well go out with a bang and play some shit like this so they’ll never forget me:

What are the chances of me getting to talk to you a little bit after a show? Are you like Penn & Teller and always wait after shows to meet anybody who wants to meet you? Or do you usually get the hell outta dodge as quickly as possible? Because if I’m going to one of your shows (if you ever come to Nashville, that is!), I’m sure as shit going to want some face time with ol’ Uncle Blocky. Also, to elongate this series of questions even further: what topic, has someone came up to you post-show with, that made you want to stick around and continue to talk with them about it? And the opposite, what is something that someone has come up to you post-show talking about that made you want to end that conversation with that person as soon as you possibly could?

I’m pretty available at my shows. I tend to like to work my own merch booth…before and after my set so, yeah, I’m chilling.I’d say the best time to catch me is before I play (If I’m headlining). If I’m not headlining though, I’ll b at the merch booth after I get off stage. Unfortunately, for those non-merch showsC(festivals and more rave like parties) I do tend to be in and out pretty quickly though.
As for post show chats, I think there’s a fine line between speaking to me like a normal person and being annoying. In general, I’m a very normal and friendly person. I’m not gonna be rude to anyone (to a fault sometimes). That said, after a show, there are usually a decent amount of people that wanna chat, take pics or get autographs (AND BUY STUFF). So, my advice would be to be brief. It’s weird to me when someone will corner me at the merch booth while like 10 other people are waiting to say hi or buy some shit. It just shows a serious lack of awareness on the part of that person. If no one else is around, hey, let’s chat…but otherwise, it’s best to just say your peace and keep it moving.
As for things that make me want to end conversations…Really drunk people who repeat the same shit over and over again , while giving me numerous pounds. that shit is tedious and EVERY show has at least one of those guys. Another thing I’m not into is tech talk. I’m not a gear nerd. i don’t care about that shit at all. So , really, when people start to chat me up about it, I kinda just zone out. Not to mention, the look of disappointment when I tell them I’ve never used whatever machine/program they’re talking about. same goes for people who wanna talk music. In general, I don’t really share the same music taste as my fans. I don’t listen to much electronic music so listing a bunch of dj’s I’ve never heard of is typically an awkward convo to have. On the same note, I find people try and bait me into dissing shit by asking me about it. THey’ll be like “Well, what did you think of the new album by _____?” with a funny look on their faces. The reality of it is that, most likely, I haven’t heard that album. You’d be amazed at the amount of people who try and get me to talk shit about Aesop at shows. As if he’s not a close friend of mine or something. That shit always blows my mind. Clearly, there are many things I’m not crazy talking about with people but it’s mostly due to how much I’ve been forced to talk about these things already.
Basically, I’m a willing participant in chatting. Just don’t be a weirdo about it and use common sense. Pretty simple rules, really.

Ive been exaggeratedly into music for as long as I can remember, I’ve worked sense i was young to help my family and never really got to spend much of what I’ve earned on myself till recently. I’ve done alot of research and talked to people who all have diff opinions on set up’s so when I read your post I figured this would be my chance to ask you.

My question is, what basic/beginners setup would you recommend for someone with no grandpa money to make instrumental music?

This is one of the more common questions I’ve gotten over the years of doing this column. There is no answer for it though. I can only tell you want I know , which is not much. I use an ASR 10 sampler and abelton live. The sampler I wouldn’t recommend cause it’s both out of print and expensive. Abelton is awesome and, if you can afford it, go for it. That said, had I come up using Reason and an mpc I would have told you to get that. My advice would be to perhaps go over to different peoples houses (or even just a guitar center) and play around on their equipment. Whatever feels like it fits your vibe the best, then pick that. There is no right or wrong answer.

“After Capture” is coming.

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If you’ve be paying attention this past year and a half, you might have noticed that Illogic and I have had a prolific 18 months. We dropped two free ep’s, a full length called “Capture the sun” on Man Bites dog records and , to close it all out, we bring you “After Capture”. It’s the final installment of our collaboration (for now) in the form of an EP.
It drops early december. Until then, here’s a preview of the song “Chiseled Masterpiece”.

Also, go here for pre-orders:

http://illogic.bandcamp.com/album/after-capture

If you missed the other releases,
http://illogic.bandcamp.com/album/preparing-for-capture
http://illogic.bandcamp.com/album/preparing-for-capture-2
http://manbitesdogrecs.bandcamp.com/album/illogic-blockhead-capture-the-sun
Aiiight!

Ask Dr. Tony Vol. 30


I haven’t done one of these is a loooooooooong time. Why? Cause apparently no one wants my advice/insight. Fair enough. I don’t blame you. After all, I’m as qualified to give life advice to strangers as I am to perform heart surgery. Still, I contend that I’ll at least shoot straighter than your bummy homeboy/girl who has their own agenda. So, if you’d like some of my bullshit wisdom bestowed upon you, please, send me questions…I can give advice on all things (Or I can try, at least). Not just matters of the heart. Send them my way. Leave them in the comments below or email them to me at @phatfriendblog@gmail.com. Everything is anonymous.
As for this installment, the questions are all over the place but, hey, I take what I get. Help me help you.

I think if men were completely honest most of them would admit that they really don’t care if their girlfriends/wives fake their orgasms. Do you think that’s true? Also, logic tells me that if women enjoyed sex as much as men do their appetite for it would be equal, and yet most people agree that it isn’t. In general men seem to need and want sex more than women do. How would you explain this?

I disagree deeply with your synopsis. The way I see it, there are two types of men. Men who care if they get their “lover” (I loath that word) off and men who don’t. For the ones who do care, we genuinely want the person we’re having sex with to have an orgasm. If a girl fakes it and we knew, it would probably piss us off. Not at the girl but at ourselves cause it would be like we couldn’t get the job done. Granted, situations vary and things happen within sexual encounters all the time that make a females orgasm an unattainable feat…but , in general, I like to think that , for the men who actually care, they want the real thing. The downside of this is , sometimes, it’s just not gonna happen for the girl and this leads to a dude boning a girl for way too long. He’s hitting it for an hour hoping to get her there but she checked out 45 minutes ago and is very likely sore. But, hey, at least his heart is in the right place. Dudes that genuinely don’t give a shit about the pleasure of the person they’re having sex with befuddle me. Those guys are basically jerking off with another humans body. Those guys surely don’t give a fuck if a girl fakes it or not cause, really, they don’t give a fuck about her on any level to begin with.

As for sexual appetite, I think there are many layers to that. I think, off the bat, men are hornier. We can look at a girl on the street and immediately want to put our penis inside her, no questions asked. Women are a little more picky in that sense. Now, that could be from decades of slut shaming or just a part of their DNA. I have no fucking idea. But, whatever it is, they tend to be more careful with who they swap fluids. While you or me might be willing to go raw dogs with a complete stranger based entirely on the fact they have nice tits, I’m pretty sure a complete stranger having rock hard abs would , at the very least, warrant a condom usage for most women. That just speaks on the carnal desires men have based entirely on visuals. The woman could be a nazi sympathizer with a voice like Fran dresher and most guys would probably still hit it if it was available.
However, once a more consistent flow of sex is happening, I think a woman’s appetite far exceeds most mens. Once they’re getting it, they want it all the time. Where as, once a dude falls into a comfort cycle of sex, it’s no longer an urgent for us. We don’t need it 5 times a day. Hell, a lot of dudes in relationships cringe at the thought of that and would probably be cool with a couple of times a week tops.
Basically, what I’m saying is that the whole scale of desire for sex between the different sexes is constantly shifting depending on the situation and the people. Men and women have a similar want for sex, they often just desire it in different ways and under different circumstances.

Hey Block, Roommate took me out to introduce me to his girls roommate seeing as she was having dude trouble. Some how the dating spectrum came up and we were all discussing the differences between seeing someone, dating, relationships and marriage. All confusing labels people put on shit. Me, being the casanova guy I am, decide to quote you from “Cook it up” and say “Well no ring on the finger no strings attached”. Immediately I was defending myself and eating my words but being the naive person I am, I still believe that shit I bumped back in high school and you saying No ring on the finger, no Strings attached….How true is this? Am I rightfully an asshole?

I think you took a song that wasn’t supposed to be serious as gospel. That song is a tongue in cheek , made up story of how Aesop was terrible at bagging girls. The lyrics I sang on there were meant to be completely ignorant and off base. So, you know, you might not wanna follow those words as life lessons.
That said, TECHNICALLY, until the ring is on the finger, I suppose you could pull that line. However, it’s completely overlooking the concept of a monogamous relationship between two people who aren’t married. So, it sorta ends right there unless you’re a scumbag.
I will say that there is a definitive line with exclusivity within relationships and , until that topic is discussed and agreed upon between the two people, there truly aren’t strings attached. You could be in love with someone but if you haven’t had the “Let’s not see other people/let’s be a couple” convo, you’re free to put your genitals where ever you so desire.

Do you think monogamy is natural or something society made? Does it come second nature to you or do you wish you could sleep with chicks but decided not to in respect for your relationship?

I do think monogamy is some made up shit. I think the idea of pairing up forever is definitely something that is not natural to anyone but penguins. For me, I don’t have trouble being monogamous but it’s definitely not how my brain is wired. Being in a relationship, I have to actively shut down my natural urges out of love and respect for my girl. I assume that’s how everyone is but , then again, every now and then you’ll meet a motherfucker on some “I don’t even notice other women…” story. Gotta say, I don’t buy that shit for a second but enough people spew it that, perhaps, there might be some validity to it. But, personally, I’m not like that. The desire to want to fuck other people never goes away. In love, out of love, depressed…whatever. All you can do, if you have chosen to be with someone is , is deal with it.
And this isn’t one-sided. I’m sure my girl wants to fuck tons of people too. I guess the only thing stopping people from doing so is respect for the other person and a feeling of duty, as someone in a relationship, to not fuck over the person you love.
I’d imagine, had the world come together differently, this might not be an issue. There would be no stigma of coupling up and it would be a free for all. I’m sure cavemen put their dicks in whatever they could without considering anyone’s feelings.
So, yeah, while nature may dictate that monogamy is not natural, we do it anyway. I still can’t pinpoint if that’s cause we’re civilized or cause we’re fucking idiots.

After reading a number of Ask Dr. Tonys, I’m getting the concept that you know what your talking about when it comes to dating (or at least have enough experience with it to have a few tips). Could you give your top 3 DO’s and DON’Ts of dating?

The most comical thing about this is the concept of me knowing anything about “dating”. I’ve been on maybe 4 proper dates in my life. Every one of them was already pretty much a guaranteed success before it even began (I was never a gambling man when it come to those types of things). Meaning, I wasn’t going out on dates with strangers and feeling them out awkwardly with hopes of a good night kiss down the line. No, my dates were girls I knew were down so the risk/reward ratio was greatly in my favor.
So, yeah, dating tips…I dunno. I feel as if dating tips can also just be general life tips for co-existing and conversing with other people.
So, some do’s for dating?
1)Listen to the other person
2)It’s a date , not a job interview. No one needs to hear your fucking resume
3)Get drunk

Don’ts?
1)Don’t talk about yourself the whole time
2)Don’t get creepy
3)Don’t murder that person

Nah, but seriously, there are so many things to do and not do on dates, a list of three things is pretty arbitrary. It’s funny cause I’ll hear stories from girls I know about dates they have where I can’t believe the man would act that way with a girl. Stories of extremely premature groping, a dude walking out mid-dinner on a date that was seemingly going fine, and dick exposing at the dinner table.
At the same time, I’ve heard stories from dudes where the girl bought another dude with her to a date or where the girl got drunk as quick as possible and ended up vomiting before the dinner arrived (This is actually not uncommon. Ladies be drinking when they’re nervous).
In both cases, it just goes to show you how completely clueless people can be about basic human interaction.

Dating is both exciting and stressful. My best advice would be to try to alleviate that stress as much as possible. Play it cool. Be casual. Treating a date like an interview can only get you so far. Just go about it like you’re casually hanging out with a friend but with a slightly flirty edge. You can keep the mood light and see where it takes you.

My dates always went one of two ways. The way I described above or they’d start mellow but spin into a crazy conversation where the girl is eventually giving me detailed reenactments of how her uncle smoked crack once and tried to touch her inappropriately. The latter way being pretty intense really quickly but, not for nothing, it definitely would pan out physically later.
So, you know, be yourself and shit.

The “church” of “meh”

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Being one of the last people alive with an active Yahoo.com email account has its privileges. Aside from giving a good chuckle to anyone I tell my email address to, I also get to see the daily headlines through the eyes of the people at Yahoo. These range from gossip about justin Beiber, to actual political news with a slightly right wing slant to things like this that popped up in my feed yesterday:
http://news.yahoo.com/atheist-mega-churches-root-across-us-world-214619648.html
Now, if you’re a longtime reader, you might be aware that I’m not a religious man. In fact, I’m as far from one as can be. I’m not even one that buys into spirituality on most levels. I don’t have some grand theory that explains why we exist or the meaning of life, I more just live knowing that shit happens and we eventually die, but we should be civil to one another while we’re here. The term “atheist” is one I’ve used to describe myself in the past. Simply based on that I don’t believe in any gods. It’s not deeper than that. But I feel as though “Agnostic” might fit me better as I fully concede I have no idea how or why we are here (even though I’m skeptical there is a real “reason”, in general). Still, I’m always gonna lean on scientific facts over those that were written by people thousands of years ago. People, I might add, who didn’t really know shit about anything. It’s not their fault as those were the times they lived in but I’m pretty sure you gave one of them a rubik’s cube and their heads would explode marveling over the sheer engineering prowess of it.
But I digress…Atheist churches…Why?
To me , the most important part of not believing in a god is that it’s been decided. You acknowledge this about yourself and move on. It’s a non-issue. The only time it comes up is when I’m watching TV and some religious lunatic is talking nonsense and I roll my eyes. The idea of organizing a religion based on not being religious kinda defeats the purpose, no? In fact, it’s the dumbest fucking thing I’ve ever heard of. Why on earth would you even bring that into your life? Is it to show up the religious folk? Is it the church of irony? That sounds like some Williamsburg shit where a bunch of hipsters all dress in white on a sunday and drink beers while reading science text books to each other. The whole idea of not being a part of organized religion is half the belief that you don’t believe and , for me at least, half not having to do all that made up traditional bullshit that being an active part of a religion entails.

Listen, I get it on some level. The idea of banding together to push the agenda makes sense. We want to live in a world where nothing we do, as non-believers, is dictated by religious values. I too watch TV and get frustrated when I see politicians acting as if the bible should be considered when deciding public policies. Yes, it’s insane and has no place there. So, creating an atheism force does make sense on some level. After all, they are the minority and should have just as loud a voice as the religious folks. But how about we do that without just making atheism into it’s own religion?

Personally, I feel indifference is my “church”. or “meh”, as I like to call it. Not to life in general (though, every girl I’ve ever dated might argue that point) but to any sort of belief system. I simply don’t give a shit. You wanna believe what you believe? Go for it. I’m not here to stop you. What you think has no bearing on what I think. We can still be friends. I don’t hate people who believe in a higher power. It’s really only an issue when those people start pushing their agenda on me and everyone else around them. Then it’s an issue. So, by this logic, the second atheists start crusading against those who think differently than them, they become no better than the people they’re rallying against. To not believe should also mean to simply not care. I don’t know about you but , when I truly don’t care about something, I don’t spend a lot of time complaining about it or even thinking about it. Cause , like I said, I don’t care. At most, I’ll make a dumb twitter joke about it and call it a day. I don’t like watching college football but what kind of bored asshole would I be if i dedicated my life to spreading the “Stop watching college football!” gospel to people all over the country? Instead, I just pretend it doesn’t exist and keep it moving. It comes on TV, i change the channel. It’s not that difficult.
At the “Church” of “meh”, there is no agenda. The “church” of “meh” is basically just a state of mind. It’s not as defeatist as it sounds. It’s more just an attitude towards organized religion. It’s motto would be something like “You do you, I’mma do me”. I’m not trying to start a church to fight the idea of churches. I’m not trying to congregate with other like minded people to talk about how little we all believe in god. Fuck all that noise. If you need other people to agree with you to feel good about your beliefs you might as well join a religion anyway. There is nothing to be gained by discussing absolutes. Being a non-believer is more like a switch in your brain. I remember when my switch flicked. I was 18 and in college. I had never given religion a deep thought but, at the same time, never questioned it either. I think I was sitting in my dorm room writing a paper and then a thought just passed in my mind “Wait a minute…there’s a god in the sky that controls everything? That doesn’t sound right…” and that was that. More thought was given and ideas snowballed from there but that initial thought was all it took to shut it down for me. THAT was it. The “church” of “meh” was born.
Once that was solidified, I was good. There was no need to expand on it or go to a ironic church-like gahtering to shake hands with people who agreed with me and hear “sermons” on non-belief while we smugly blow each other.
So, yeah, if you’re really bout that atheist life, don’t go in on this bullshit. Just think what you think and carry on living cause anyone who really feels that way should only need that peace of mind and nothing else. Perhaps, you just need a hug?
jesus_hug

Tim and I discuss music and stuff vol. 51

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This week, Tim aka Alaska and I discuss new/old videos by Roc Marciano, Hello Phones and a clip from Mr. Show that every rap fan should witness.
Tim doesn’t like Roc and I don’t care about Hello Phones…but other than that, it seems we’ve reached a nirvana like agreement on all other things. I bet you didn’t know but this column is written every week in a steam room while we sit cross legged across the room from one another, wearing only hand towels. That might explain some things…
http://www.syffal.com/roc-marciano-hello-phones