Demo Reviews Vol. 40

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Welcome to another edition of Demo reviews. That thing where readers send me in songs so I can tell them what I think. Why they do it? i dunno. But it keeps going so I keep doing it. On the bright side, While I’m NOT accepting new submissions right now, that day is coming. Sometimes Next week I’ll announce the flood gates opening (along with the strict rules that all submitters must follow closely) and you cans end me you shit. SO, be on the look out for that.
As for this week, gotta say, after the shit show that was the last edition, this may b the most solid batch I’ve ever gotten. Is it coincidence that EVERY demo I got this week features vocals? No clue. Whatever it is, I can’t recall a week with more solid contributions. Well done.
Anyway, the reviews work like so: I write a paragraph or two giving my thoughts and then rate the songs from 1 to 10 in these arbitrary categories:
Production
Vocals
Listenability
originality

Simple stuff really. Let’s get into it.

Artist: Clamber Standback
Song:Dreaming my days away


Hmm…I honestly don’t know what to with this. First off, the picture of a mime threw me off from the start. Kinda wish this guy was mime though.
Anyway, this is silly and harmless but also pretty bad on any serious level. It sounds like someone rapping who doesn’t really rap (or even like rap that much). I can’t be that mad at it though cause the silliness factor is so through the roof I can’t take it that seriously. On the bright side, The production isn’t bad. It’s simple but the sounds are good and it’s well mixed. So points for that.
Production:5 out of 10
Vocals:2 out of 10
Listenability:4 out of 10
originality:4.5 out of 10

Artist:H.W.
Song: Walk with me


The beat is pretty awesome. It samples some old gospel shit without sounding like some shitty Moby song. It’s almost too clean (the drums could heavier) but I like it. The rapper is…well…fine. He’s not bad but he got dat white voice pretty badly and that’s always a tall hill to climb, no matter how good your lyrics are. Still, overall, this is decent.
Production:6.5 out of 10
Vocals:4 out of 10
Listenability:5 out of 10
originality:4 out of 10

Artist:Sleep Sinatra
Song:No rest for the Wicked


This kinda reminds me of a decent album cut from any number of late 90’s indie hip hop albums. The beat is cool and the rapping is solid. Nothing really makes it stand out to me but it’s nothing if not listenable. I might turn down those scratches at the end though, they come on mad loud, especially considering how mellow this song is.
Production:5.5 out of 10
Vocals:5 out of 10
Listenability:5 out of 10
originality:2 out of 10

Artist: Galactic Brethren
Song: Time Bandits


The name “Galactic Brethren” had me nervous. It’s very 90’s or techno but it turns out that these dudes are pretty good. I like the understated beat and the rappers can do their thing as well. It’s spacey, which I suppose is why they are the Galactic brethren.
The production changes in a nice subtle way throughout and works more as a compliment to the rappers, which , in my eyes, is a good thing.
Production:6.5 out of 10
Vocals:5.5 out of 10
Listenability:6 out of 10
originality:4 out of 10

Artist: Raymond Strife
Song:En Sabah Nur


This is one of those not good/not bad demos. There’s nothing inherently wrong with it. But there also isn’t a thing about it that would make me wanna hear it again. The beat sounds like a Freeway throwaway track from the early 2000’s and the rapper isn’t quite stable yet. It almost feels like he’s winging it off the head at times but I’m pretty sure he’s not. He’s just kind of a lazy writer. It’s too bad cause there is potential in there somewhere. He just needs to tighten the screws a little and focus.
Production:4 out of 10
Vocals:4 out of 10
Listenability:4 out of 10
originality:3 out of 10

Artist: Minotaur
Song: Cameron Vale


This is some lo-fi shit made by someone who LOVES cage. I mean, it’s over the top how much he tries to sound like old cage.

It also sounds like the beat was made by someone who LOVES Madlib.
So ,clearly, this isn’t winning points in the originality category. That said, he’s a pretty good rapper. Perhaps he’ll find his own lane and something original and fresh will come of that.
The beat is weirder than it is good but fits the mood I suppose. Also, it sounds like this was recorded on a cassette deck.
Production:4 out of 10
Vocals:4.5 out of 10
Listenability:5 out of 10
originality:1 out of 10

Artist: Gangstatank
song:Grillz


I’m not sure if this is parody or not. That’s not a good thing. Either way it’s not particularly funny or it’s just a really bad rap song. The more it goes on, the more i think it’s a joke. Whelp, that’s unfortunate. The beat is a nightmare of shitty synth sounds and failed trappy drums. The rapping is dudes trying way too hard (Or joking) who just aren’t good at rapping at all. Regardless, doing parody rap making fun of gangster-ish rap is about 15 years past any point of relevance or interest.
Production:2.5 out of 10
Vocals:3 out of 10
Listenability:3 out of 10
originality:2 out of 10

Artist: This side up
song: Power


I like the sample aspects of this beat but the drums are simply not doing the job. The beats got a cool vibe though. The rapping is fine. I’m a known skeptic of rapping in foreign accents but this doesn’t bother me much. Irish rapping. Who knew? They aren’t really doing anything special lyrically but it’s solid.
Production:4.5 out of 10
Vocals:4.5 out of 10
Listenability:5 out of 10
originality:4 out of 10

Artist:Hard Target
Song: Down a road


This is a good “Times is tough, I’m downtrodden” rap song. It’s been done to death but, hey, when you can pull it off, more power to you. The rapper is good and raps in a musical manner that works half the time. The hook is kinda corny to me though. Not mad at what he tried to do, it just didn’t work for me. The beat is good too. It’s the perfect backdrop for this kinda song.
Production:5 out of 10
Vocals:5.5 out of 10
Listenability:5.5 out of 10
originality:4 out of 10


Artist:Jac Sound
Song: Sugar Ants


Whoa…what’s going on here? I’m so not used to getting songs with singers on it It took me a minute to figure out this was an actual person singing a song. Well, now that the confusion has subsided…This is strange. It’s kinda 80’s in it’s tone and the singer has a definite drama club dork lean to him. Like he should be on broadway over emoting his words. His voice is fine though. Musically, it’s a bit of a mess but not a total disaster. I dunno…I’m still confused.
Production:4 out of 10
Vocals:4 out of 10
Listenability:4 out of 10
originality:5 out of 10

So, what do you think?

Ask Dr. Tony Vol. 32


The Doctor is back, fake diploma on the wall and everything. This is a column where I take questions from readers about things like love and life and do my best to walk them through it. To be clear, I’m not a registered doctor. I didn’t even graduate college. So, this is just like advice from a buddy minus all the sugar coating cause, well, I don’t know you. What do I care? That said, I’m a generally level headed guy and will tell you what needs to told with no agenda or cushion for your feelings.
If you have questions of the heart that you’d like me to take a stab at, send them my way: phatfriendblog@gmail.com or leave them in the comments below. It’s all anonymous so this is a safe place. So, without further ado, let’s get into it.

A friend with benefits has recently become more than just a friend with benefits. We both have feelings for each other and she definitely wants me to commit and make her my girlfriend. I first started hooking up with her senior year of high school. We ended up going to the same college and hooking up throughout the first half of freshmen year. She got a boyfriend and dated him until we graduated college (26 years old now). We stayed friends the entire time and we share many of the same close friends now back at home.

She’s an attractive, laid back girl with a good personality and sense of humor. Once she became single after college we started boning on and off again. Within the past 4 months we’ve become a lot more serious. You could basically say we’re dating but I refuse to admit that we’re a couple.

Here’s why: she fucked one of my best friends about 8 months ago. This is a dude that we hang out with all the time. People keep telling me to not let her go, that she’s a keeper, blah blah blah. BUT SHE FUCKED THE HOMIE. I can’t seem to get over it. If it wasn’t for this I would probably be all about getting serious with her. Am I overreacting? Are my feelings warranted? WHY DID SHE HAVE TO FUCK THE HOMIE?
Forgot to mention that the hookup between said girl and my good friend was a drunken one night stand and that I was banging another girl at the time…

Getting bent out of shape about a girls past lovers is some bitch shit. Get over it, bro. So she fucked your friend. She doesn’t like him. Shit happens. You gotta be man enough to not be threatened by that. Unless you’re somehow intimidated by the prowess this guy might have had with your “girl” but, even then, she likes you. That’s all that matters.
This question is one that I’ve noticed come up a few times here and in real life amongst people I actually know. I’ve always felt it was a non-issue. It’s only a problem if she actually seriously dated your friend or has an open and long standing sexual relationship with him currently. Then I’d understand why one might balk. But a drunken one off? Who cares. Would you think less of her if you had fucked one of her friends? you wouldn’t even blink at that. Think of it this way, you weren’t fucking her at the time , she didn’t know the future between you, AND she just got out of a long term relationship. Guess what? She got laid that night. Good for her. Don’t be a vaginal warden.
But really, this all comes down to you and how secure you are. I certainly have friends who could not handle that kinda of thing on any level and have ditched good girls cause of it. So, if that’s deal breaker for you, it is what it is. But, personally? I think it’s not worth a second thought. You like her and she’s indeed a “keeper”, don’t let your insecurities and sexual puritanism get in the way of that.

Dr. Tony, will try to make this as short as possible
3 months ago i met this guy through a good friend, we all went out for drinks and i remember being immediately attracted to him, a little through the night he began to flirt with me and eventually we made out in the club and couldn’t get our hands off each other,we really bonded through deep drunken conversations and confessions, it felt like weve been friends for a long time and i dont think ive ever felt that comfortable with someone that i just met. (because i had just gotten out of a dreadful relationship i really wasn’t looking for anything beyond a little fun and sex.) therefore i decided to go with the flow and sleep with him that night. i ended up spending the whole night and next day with him, it was great. he also told me that hes never felt that comfortable with someone new, no awkwardness or anything. so that next day ended when i had to travel back to my country. we exchanged numbers and i went to the airport thinking last night was great but it will clearly not go anywhere as we live in different countries.
I text him a day later telling him that i had a great time etc. and since then we started texting and calling eachother daily, we got to know more about eachother yet, how much can you know when the person is not in your face?!
About 3 weeks after daily texting, calling and phone sex, i was traveling again for a month to a country thats near his country, so he came to see me the first weekend, and we spent 3 days together. it turned out to be even better than the first time we met. I still didn’t have my hopes up for anything to escalate and i wasn’t thinking of it too much i was just busy being carried away with the moment. Also most importantly, that weekend he referred to me as his girlfriend. Another 2 weeks pass and he comes to see me again for one night, every time we see eachother it just seems to be getting better n better. that last night he told me that hes developing really strong feelings for me and i def was on the same page as he is. everything was going just fine, up until a week after the last time i saw him he suddenly started acting a little distant, less phone calls, no texts, which is always a bad sign, plus i know that long distance never works out so i also had that in mind. he told me that he was very stressed from work and i understood that, i never gave him a hard time about it as i really believe in giving ppl their space. for a good week he would suddenly act distant then suddenly be all caring and nice, and i just went along with it like theres nothing, at that time he told me that he will be going for masters in summer which means he will be in a completely different continent and time zone.
His family member gets a serious health issue, which brings him to be more distant for yet another and final week. i tried to be there for him yet in the same time i didnt want to impose too much.
to cut this very long story short, he calls me end of that week and tells me that he wants to put what we have on hold (which i understood as a break up) as he has alot going on right now and he cant handle having any obligations. I was very understanding and accepting of what he was saying, i also believed it was for the best as i still think long distance ruins everything. at the end of the break up phone call he told me that hes falling for me. ironic.
3 days after the break up he calls me briefly to check up on me and thats the last ive heard from him.
ive been around enough to doubt things around me, so my question is, did this guy play me just to get what he wants or does this whole thing sound genuine? i mean he was getting the sex anyway so why go through all the hassle? or did he just realize shit this is going nowhere and distance is a bitch. i also thought maybe he met someone else or something. i dont know. im just a little weirded out by the whole turn of events. maybe in a different time and place.
Sorry for the long ass essay, plz help! it feels good to rant.

Anytime someone write “I’ll make this as brief as possible” it basically means “This is gonna be loooooong as fuck”. All good, you got across your point and question.
Wellllll…this is tough cause , honestly, it could be any number of things. He could have honestly felt the way he did, threw himself into a long distance relationship more than he should have and then got overwhelmed. Or he could have had another girl…or he’s one of those guys who treats every hook up he has like he’s falling in love again thus, confusing the shit out of every girl he hooks up with.
I can only judge from what I wrote but it does seem like he invested a decent amount of time in you though. Honestly, any dude willing to actually talk on the phone extensively with a girl in 2014 is going the extra mile. Most would keep it to text, email or skype (for some of that chat sex!), ESPECIALLY long distance.
It sounds to me that the distance and personal issues on his side were a real factor. Even if it wasn’t the personal issues, the distance was. Maybe he started being distant in an effort to make the break easier…or maybe he was fucking some other girl. That’s the problem with long distance relationships. You will never truly know. Not to mention, this is a guy you met at a club. For all you know he could be a serial Killing pedophile. In which case, I’d say you dodged that bullet!


So I work with international students who coincidentally come from countries where plastic surgery is rampant in the upper classes (L.A. has nothing on them,I swear). I’m very close with some of the girls who come study here….almost like an older sister. And it breaks my heart when a 17yo beauty talks about getting butt and breast implants when she gets home or when a 22yo talks about changing her entire fucking face! To put my question into general terms – when you have a mentor-type kind of relationship with teens/young adults….is there anything at all you can do or say to prevent them from making stupid decisions…or is it futile to even try?

As someone who has no kids, this advice is definitely based on nothing but here it goes. Kids are gonna be kids. And , as they get older, they only get more grounded in their opinions and ideals. Think of yourself when you were that age? When I was 17, I would have probably ended friendships over someone telling me Kool G Rap was a bad rapper, let alone something that really mattered to me. Basically, people that age have the unfortunate balance of thinking they know everything and knowing absolutely nothing. All libido and no foresight.
If a 17 year old has their mind made up about something like that (especially something that is, in a way, rebelling) they’re gonna do it. Problem is, getting your face and tits remade isn’t like a navel ring or a tattoo on your ankle. That shit is expensive surgery. I suppose, all you can do it try and reason with them using the “Trust me, in five years you will regret this deeply”. That’s what I tell any young person who wants to get a music based tattoo (meaning a band or rapper they like at that moment). But, overall, the best you can do is try and reason with them on their level. Appeal to their ego and insecurities. That’s why they wanna do that shit in the first place.

hey Dr T, could you elaborate more on “many of us tend to know our long term plans for a girl very early on. We know how far we’re willing to let this thing go before it’s past the point of us being into it.” how would u determine these plans ? based on what ?

This is something I mentioned in an earlier edition of “Ask Dr. Tony”. I forget the original question but my point was that, with men, we generally have a decent idea of how far we want to go with a girl emotionally when we first meet them. By that , I mean we can think “Oh, I wanna hit that a few times” or “I’d have long term casual sex with her” or “I could totally wife her up”. Thing is , this is our initial reaction and that is subject to change. I’m sure girls do a variation of the same thing. Only difference is, I find girls are able to open up to dudes down the line in a way I’d say most guys are incapable of. A woman’s attraction levels can go from “He’s disgusting” to “I want to date him” over the course of a night depending on what that guys brings to the table, intelligence, humor and charm wise. Why do you think there are so many hot girls with busted dudes? Guys, however, are far more shallow and that kind of flip in attraction only occurs over long periods of time. Sure, most guys will put their dick in anything but they’re aware of the ceiling , where that girl is concerned.
So, what determines these plans?
I’d say it’s different for all guys. The first thing we see is the physical side. We can look at a girl and be like “Is she hot enough to actually date?”. Yes, this is wildly presumptuous, but it’s what we actually do. Keep in mind, this is going on first impressions. Attraction does tend to shift the more you’re around someone. So, if she’s not “wifey” standard hot, then you find where she lands on the attractiveness scale. She’s cute, sexy, busted, etc…ALso, keep in mind this is done in reverse. Meaning, the scale starts with “would I hit it?” and goes up from there.
The next step is figuring out her personality. Is she cool? Is she annoying? Is she smart? Is she a girl who clearly only will sleep with a boyfriend? Is she a party girl who seems down for whatever? Like I said earlier, it’s really on a guy to guy basis and dependent on what they’re looking for. Some guys like big titties. They see big titties and that girl is placed on a higher plateau. It’s all relative.
I know this sounds absolutely terrible but , for many guys, it’s how we think. It’s in our nature. The same way a girl can meet a dude for five minutes and know she’s gonna have sex with him. It’s all based on a feeling. But, sadly, it’s also based heavily on the physical side of things. A persons depth and value doesn’t actually come into play until you actually know them. Such is life!

A message to people being shitty on the internet

trollsm
Are you an asshole on the internet? It’s possible. I’ve certainly been called that before and they’re not wrong. The way I see it, there are two types of assholes on the internet (this statement is 100% false as there are actually millions of different types of assholes but for the sake of this rant, just pretend it’s all black and white).
1) The people who say obnoxious things into the ether as either jokes or as provocateurs. These things are generally about people and things that person has no personal ties to and , in reality, don’t matter. The aim is to make a joke, for better or worse. I fall firmly in this group. Nothing I say on the internet really matters. Nothing I say on the internet is even that serious. These very words I’m writing right now included.
2) People who say shitty things of no comedic value directly to other people online when no one asked them for their input but they do it anyway cause…well…they’re bored or just contrarian assholes. Things like “You suck” or “I fucking hate you” you are examples. These people, in general, lack any creativity in their asshole-ic ways and serve only as frowny faced trolls to the entire internet around them.

Now, this is something I’ve harped on before so my apologies if I sound like a broken record. But I wanted to focus on one particular barb that I seem to get with some regularity that truly makes my blood boil. Not cause it hurts my feelings but cause , when a person says it, they’re just simply being lame as fuck.
Here’s what happens.
I make music for a living. This has been established. I also spend a decent amount of time online joking around. It’s fun for me. I enjoy it.
I write a tweet or a status update on facebook. This is always a dumb joke or maybe something slightly more observational. Regardless, it’s generally as harmless as a new born faun.
Then I get a response like this:
Screen shot 2014-01-28 at 6.25.51 PM
I read this and think of how I should respond. The correct answer is “Not at all” but I’m simply not that strong willed a man. So, I consider writing “FUCK YOUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!”. However, That’s a bit harsh, considering I know this persons intent wasn’t to elicit that response. In fact, I know that person is just busting my balls and, at the same time, strangely telling me they want to hear more music. (Side note: The dude who wrote this tweet and I exchanged a few tweets and they were totally cordial so , please, don’t be an asshole to him or whatever. I merely used his tweet as an example cause it’s the most recent “Why aren’t you making music constantly!?” related tweet i’ve gotten). Still, as someone who likes making jokes on the internet, being told to shut up and make music, as if both aren’t simultaneously possible is pretty fucking annoying. Especially considering I’ve been pretty prolific over the last few years and even have a new album finished at this very moment. If my joke/tweet wasn’t funny to you, fair enough. I’d rather someone write “Not funny” (which, by the way, would still be unnecessary and shitty to do) than to patronize me like I’m some worker bee that can only sit in a studio cranking out music 24/7 and do nothing else whatsoever. By the way, that’s not how making music works. Turns out, when you make music for a living, there’s tons of downtime. Why do you think every time you see a musician in the studio, they’re playing with their phones? but I digress.

This whole thing bothers me. Not cause it hurts my feelings but cause the person who’s writing it is 100% always and forever just being shitty. Without fail.This is not to say they’re bad people. This isn’t even saying that their intent is to piss me off. In fact, I’d venture to say that people who write that sentence are brain farting right back at me. But, you gotta understand…it’s shitty and shows a really poor instinct to be “That guy”. The guy who feels the need to respond to everything ESPECIALLY when they have nothing of value to add. This particular type of comment is missing the point on so many levels it’s hard to even begin to explain it. It’s like when a person asks a musician “Why can’t you make an album like your first one again?”. To truly explain that would take so much time, it’s never worth it. In the same note, for me to explain, in 140 characters or less, why I’m not making music all the fucking time and wasting my time writing a tweet that took 8 seconds to think up, is simply not worth the breath. In reality, 9/10 times, when I respond to these types of comments , with something snarky, the writer responds in a completely apologetic tone. Surprised I’d even respond in the first place. As if I don’t read my own twitter feed and have real human thoughts. In reality, they didn’t even mean to be shitty, They seemingly got caught up in a moment and couldn’t help themselves.

I’m not writing this as a “Leave Blockhead alone!!!” manifesto. Cause, truth be told, this is a minor annoyance at best. I’m more saying this to maybe make people stop and consider what they’re adding to a discussion when they write petty, short sighted and pointless remarks lacking any humor or value. It’s really that simple. Unless you have something constructive or funny to add, why are you talking?

The faceless nature of the internet has got us too comfortable. It’s like the world is one big youtube comment section. With twitter and facebook, people have access to musicians, actors, politicians, etc like never before. I could literally tell the president of the USA to eat a bag of dicks and dog shit right now if i wanted to (I would never do that though). It’s THAT open. While I do see some good in this kind of open forum, motherfuckers still should know their role. If I’m a celebrity that did something crazy…like Justin Bieber or Chris Brown. I’d fully expect a shit storm in my mentions on the regular. Same way I’d expect tons of support from fans and naked pics from underaged girls in my DM’s. It’s really par for the course. But if I’m me…a niche musician with a small fan base who’s biggest offense is making an album you didn’t like and making bad jokes on the internet, what’s the point of needlessly pushing my buttons? I mean, I see why people do it (trolls are called trolls for a reason)…but really…why? Is it fun? Hell, maybe it is. I’ve just never been the type who purposely says petty shit to people I don’t know with the sole intention to be getting their attention. It’s like the people who feel the need to correct grammar on twitter. It’s fucking twitter! Much like there is no crying in baseball, there are no grammar rules on twitter. It is the Deadwoods of grammar. Lawless. God forbid you have a typo! But if you see a grammar error, a typo or you just wanna be one of those people who vocalizes every stupid thought you have in your head directly at a person who has not addressed you even remotely, at least make it funny. Cause, otherwise, you’re just another voice from the peanut gallery saying something of no constructive value for the sake of hearing your own voice (or reading your own words, in this case).
If you’re offended by something I said, then I get it. I have it coming. Even if you are being an overly sensitive pussy about a joke…I get that. You ride razor scooters and I made a joke about them so you’re taking offense. That’s fine. you’re standing up for your razor scooter lifestyle. Do you! But , otherwise? Stop it. That’s my entire message. Stop it. In fact, I could have saved a lot of time writing this whole thing and just had those two words under the header but I’m a sucker for long winded explanations. Oh well, too late. But seriously, next time you (not anyone in particular) get the urge to write something shitty to someone else (be it a celebrity on twitter, a “friend” on facebook , a niche beat maker or President Obama) online, ask yourself “What good will this do?”. If the only answer you get out of it is “It will annoy the person I’m writing this to” then either don’t write it or accept that you are, in fact, an asshole who is shitty to people on the internet…and not that awesome first kind I described earlier either. you’re the second kind. Shame on you!
grumpy-face

Yay or Nay: GOD

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First off , shout out to Steadybloggin.com for putting me on to this…
Now before you answer the question in the header, let me be clear…I’m not talking about your lord and savior (though a “Yay or Nay” on him would be interesting). No, I’m talking about a chicago based rapper who has chosen the name GOD (in all caps!) for himself. That takes balls…but when you think about it, the search for the most powerful rap name had to end there. People have been calling themselves all sorts of things over the years. Noreaga, Capone, Bird gang Taliban…The fact someone hasn’t named them selves Hitler yet is actually surprising to me (shout out to Gunplay’s Swastika tattoo though). So why not call yourself GOD? The only downsides I see (aside from offending millions of christian people) is the high expectations a name like that might carry as a lyrical miracle spitter and googling yourself might prove to be frustrating. But whatever, enough about the name, let’s discuss the man himself. After all, a name is just a name.

Here’s the thing, the dude can rap. He’s not as typical as I imagine a few of you might presume upon hearing him for the first time. He’s got that edge that tends to separate regular skilled boring rappers from the dudes I actually wanna hear more than once. Let’s start it here cause , what better jumping point than a song that could seemingly play as his thesis statement for a term paper about himself.

How bout something a little more traditional?

Maybe something a little more trappy for you new rap heads

Or this joint…

Say what you will but the dude does have some versatility in his music. So, what do you think? Do you like GOD?

Answers for questions vol. 172

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Whattup. Still freezing? Me too. How bout those grammy’s though? I saw an hour of it and wanted to throw my tv out the window but peace to Daft Punk for not only winning but probably sweating five gallons in those helmets the whole night.
Anyway, this is where you send me questions and I answer them. Most everything is in play here. I’m not shy. So, if you’d like to join the fun and ask me stuff, either leave questions in the comment section below or email them to me at Phatfriendblog@gmail.com.
Both work equally well and they’re both anonymous. Feel free to get weird.
Let’s get into this weeks batch, biatch.

Any advice for beginning bloggers? Do you read any other blogs? Do you recommend using your real name or a pseudonym?

Oh I have no idea. I literally began this one for fun and as an outlet to talk shit. It’s not even very successful so I dunno if any advice I have to give would be beneficial. I will say that having a blog and keeping up with it is actually work. You gotta do actually be willing to commit time if you want it to be more than just one post a month. In fact, being obsessive over it is the only way it’ll ever get legs.
As for other blogs, I read Kid Mero’s blog “Victory light” and I check a few pop culture related gossip type blogs like wwtdd.com cause they can be funny/give me shit to rant about. Mostly, I kinda just catch stuff when I catch it. I’m pretty lazy when it comes to reading in general so , if I know something isn’t getting posted every day, I probably will check it with less frequency.
As for using a real name or pseudonym, i guess it depends who you are and what you’re writing. I would have used my own name on this if I wasn’t already know by my music name. As far as I know, writing on the internet isn’t like rapping. You can use your real name and it’s totally normal. Unless, of course, you plan on saying salacious shit and you don’t want anyone knowing who you are, then a fake name works. Also, you’re then an internet coward but , hey, aren’t we all?

Have you ever had a threesome and do you think they are common? I’ve had a few, but they never played out as sexy as what you see in porn (surprise, surprise), but they were fun none the less. The idea of a threesome seems so be a fantasy for most guys, though. I generally think that humans are pretty dirty and, therefor, threesomes probably aren’t THAT uncommon. I’m a chick though, so in all of our girly magazines they say that threesomes never happen, ruin relationships, ruin friendships, etc. That never happened for me, at least, and I generally think women’s magazines are bullshit. So, as a dude, have you had a threesome and how was it? And how common do you think they are?

Yes I have and wrote about it a long time ago. Here’s that:
https://phatfriend.com/2010/03/29/three-the-hardish-way/

Now do I think they’re common? I suppose that depends on your definition of common. I’d say , in certain groups, they’re common but to others they mights as well be a unicorn. I have friends who have had tons of them and I have friends who can’t even fathom how they would pop off. In my case, I was in the right place at the right time. In general, I don’t live in that “Threesomes on the regular” world. I also didn’t go to college for more than a year so maybe I missed out on a whole new world of sexual exploration.
I’ve heard dudes talk about how they used to double team girls all the time and how it was the preferred sexual dynamic…which, to me, is fucking weird cause I feel like, if given the choice, I’ll always pick “Me and a girl” over “Me, a girl, and my bro holding his hard dick”. I suppose it takes a certain kinda guy to be into that. Not saying their gay or anything but I do think guys who like to fuck girls with their homeboys are , at the very least, creeps who look at girls a breathing joy dolls. I mean, shit, camaraderie with your boy is one thing but…CUMaraderie? Why? But I digress…Basically, as a girl, threesomes are gonna be as common as you want them to be. If you got a homegirl who’s into doing that shit, you will have no trouble finding a guy to be the centerpiece to that party. If you like having two guys at once, same thing. There are always gonna be willing participants when it comes to putting dicks in vaginas.

Are there any words you hear English speakers using (because they’re trying to sound fancy) that make you giggle? For example, “vodka” as “whudka” comes to my mind, but I’m sure there are others (not talking about people who actually speak more than one language in this case).

The only clear example of this I can think of I when some clearly white person feels the need to pronounce mexican food with a thick ass accent in the midst of an otherwise english spoken sentence. Like I don’t need to hear anyone named Becky pronounce the “tilde” in the word Tamale (I don’t know how to type the actual “tilde” in there). It just sounds ridiculous when anyone is speaking normal english then goes out of their way to jazz up foreign word pronunciations. It happens the most with italians. The soprano’s got assholes pronouncing Mozzarella like “Mutzarell” when , in reality, any real italian would laugh in your face if you ever said it that way.
I feel , as dumb americans, we need to just embrace how we say the names of foreign food. You don’t need to build a wall of phlegm in your mouth just to say “Croissant”. Just pronounce it how it’s spelled. sure, it’s the wrong way to say it but you’re in america with a bunch of other dumb americans. No one here cares and no one will think you’re a worldly traveler just cause you can correctly roll your r’s when ordering at taco bell.

As an artist/musician, do you have a team? Like do you have a manager? accountant? lawyer? label rep? etc.

I have a manager, who I’ve had since I started. He’s the best and makes my life easier on every level. I also have a few booking agents for shows(One for the US and one for europe). I have an accountant but that I got through my family and has no connection to the music people whatsoever. I think I have a lawyer…but i’ve never needed him outside of contractual stuff so my interaction with him is rare and generally via my manager. My manager basically deals with anyone at any label so, while they do exist, I don’t interact with them much. That’s the thing about having a manager when you do music. It’s their job to handle the business side of this shit show. I make music. Therefor, I’m a fucking moron when it comes to pretty much everything else that goes with making music that isn’t actually creating the music itself. A Manager is your buffer. They’re also there to be the bad cop when you don’t wanna deal with things. I can’t stress to artists their importance. They aren’t cheap but , if they’re good, they’re worth every penny.

Being a steady porn lover, I have developed a couple of things that I dont like while enjoying my favourite pastime.
What I mean is, for example; I can never be eating anything whilst watching porn, i’d gag,especially eggs.
Can you think of anything?Any OCD while you are trying to get your porn on?

Umm…yeah..i don’t like eating when I watch porn either. Who does that? I watch porn ONLY when I jerk off. So, it’s not like I’m juggling responsibilities when it’s on. Time has been set aside to , i dunno, put down the egg and cheese sandwich and enjoy some me time.
At worst, I’ll be texting with someone and just have to do some left handed texting with extra curt responses. In fact, the only time I really use smily faces in texting is when I’m jerking off. It’s a time saver.

Blockhead-San,

How much of your inspiration do you think comes from your environment? Not just the city you live in but the actual neighborhood itself. I’m an artist and for years I’ve been wanting to get to a more urban, high foot-traffic and artsy fartsy kind of area of my city. However the apartments there tend to be either too expensive or run down studios in bad areas with horrible insulation resulting in sky-high utility bills. I say this because whenever I’m in an area where there’s tea shops, festivals in the summer time, art galleries, interesting restaurants and niche places and the like, I feel inspired and want to do more creatively.

My guess is that it reminds me of when I was in college and the energy was alive with people acting on or crafting their purpose in life. There was always a project to work on or a new technique to research. Over the years after graduation that fire went to a little spark, which fizzled down to a tiny ember that’s barely here as the result of moving back to the suburbs and abeing separated from a more ‘electric’ atmosphere. Couple that with the fact that I’ve only had one job (for two months mind you) in my field of video game development and it has me feeling like I’m at a stale-mate. I can only imagine the creative flow in New York and now exciting that may be.

My true question is do you think you would be either the same kind of musician (if one at all) if you didn’t grow up in the melting pot that is Manhattan? And do you think someone that’s hit an artistic wall could really benefit from moving into an area of town that they thought had more to offer as far as stimulation?

That’s hard to say. I don’t know what my creative output would have been if I grew up elsewhere. There are so many factors that play into me making music that, if you remove one of them, I could have easily never gotten into this profession at all.
I do think a vibrant city does inspire people to work.But more in the sense of you see all the movement around you and realize you need to keep up. I definitely tend to get a rush of creativity whenever I return to new york after being away for a while. But, that might also just me being happy to be home.
That said, at least in respect to what i do, I’m not a huge believer in tangible “inspiration”. I sample things, therefor, those samples often dictate the direction a song goes. It’s not from me walking around the busy NYC streets and observing the humanity around me. If inspiration means the little flame that gets lit under your ass that causes you to be creative, than maybe your environment makes a big difference. But if you mean what actually inspires the sounds? That’s all in your head. Ideas pop up from anywhere. Sure, being in a city where things are whizzing by your head all day can definitely spark ideas but so can toiling away on the internet all day. It really just depends what you’re looking for and where you draw your own inspiration from.
I find that, when it’s cold out, I end up making more beats cause I don’t wanna leave my house. While, in the spring time, I’m not as productive. So, most of the time, I’m as inspired as my options. There are exceptions when I’ll just be in bed and hear something in my head that I want to execute musically…then do it. But , mostly, I have a very go with flow mentality about making music.

Being that you are from New York, what’s your favorite TV show or film that takes place there? Taxi Driver is pretty damn good. What’s your favorite Law & Order: SVU episode?

I’ve never watched a nano-second of any law and order or SVU type shows. Dunno why, I just haven’t. I think I have something inside me that says “Don’t watch dramas on major networks”.
My favorite Tv show in NYC? Probably Seinfeld or the Cosby show. Both existed in a fantasy version of the city but they both were awesome. Seinfeld , in particular, captured a lot of amazing nuances about the city.Granted, it was an upper west side and very white jewish version but that’s as real as anyone else’s.
As for movies, there is a difference between my favorite movies that happen to take place in NYC and movies that I felt nailed how it was/is to live in NYC. Like “Kids” isn’t the best NYC movie by a long shot but that movie nailed being a teenager in the 90s , downtown. Like, that was literally shit I used to do (minus the raping and AIDS). Even that movie “The Wackness” captured parts of the city that resonated deeply with me.
But those two movies aren’t remotely close to the “best” NYC movies.Taxi Driver is up there. The Mean Streets. The pope of greenwich village has a special place in my heart (even though it’s pretty flawed). To be honest, so many movies have been made here it’s hard to even begin to wrap my head around picking one.

It’s so cold out, I made a mix

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I don’t know where you live but if you’re anywhere near the northeast coast of North America right now, you’re probably wearing long johns and hating life. It’s frigid out and has been for over a week. I’m fairly certain it’s not just us (screw you Australia!). My house is struggling. My heat is week and I’ve slept in a sweater and sweatpants under two comforters the last three nights. In honor of this occasion, I put together a compilation of songs that one could listen to while sitting inside , feeling miserable about the weather , possibly wrapped up in a blanket. Mostly mellow, mostly depressing, these songs can incapsulate the feeling of never wanting to leave your bed.
Over the years, I’ve given away a lot of these types of mixes so, let it be known, there’s a good chance a bunch of these songs are songs I’ve uploaded before. For that, I’m sorry. But, also, it’s free so go fuck yourself. I can’t possible keep track of that kinda stuff. This blog is 4 years old now. It’s got a mind of it’s own.
So, for the rest of you, enjoy these songs. It’s a mix of soul, jazz and a few more random genres thrown in for good measure. There’s even a Bruce Springsteen song on there for christ sake and I don’t even like “The boss”. So, have at it and,most of all, stay warm.

Download here!
1)Colours: Donovan
2)If you let me: Eddie Kendrick
3)I’ll take care of you: Bobby “blue” Bland
4)Help the poor: BB King
5)In the rain: The dramatics
6)Paper Tiger: Beck
7)Soul Lament: Kenny Burrell
8)Spaced Cowboy: Sly and the family stone
9)Winter in America: Gil Scott Heron
10)Young Liars:Tv on the Radio
11)Coffee Cold: Galt Macdermot
12)I cry in the morning: Dennis Olivieri
13)State Trooper: Bruce Springsteen
14)Yesterday is here: Tom Waits
15)You are mine: Eddie Ray
16)Celestial Blues: Andy Bey
17)Free Ride: Nick Drake
18)The time for us: Joe Pass
19)High Street: Magic Carpet
20)Star Children: The mighty RIders
21)The evening news: Cee-lo
22)California Dreaming: Lee Moses
23)Down by the river: buddy Miles
24)Don’t know why: O.V. Wright
25)Isn’t it a pity: The three Degrees
26)Man oh man: The Impressions

RoggleCast #2!

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It’s been a long time but we are back. I’ll tell you, the holidays, my touring schedule and Pollyne losing her voice singing karaoke are all roadblocks to making a consistent podcast. Hopefully, they are behind us.
Anyway, we have returned this week with a fairly low brow discussion of topics such as masturbation (always and forever), deal breakers, native New York rules and that thing when obviously dumb famous people say dumb things and people act like they’re surprised.
We hope to be dropping there weekly so, yeah…have at it. We’re working on getting it on I-tunes but that’s proving to be really fucking annoying to do. Still, we’ll figure it out. So, for now, Bask in the rogglecast in all it’s soundcloud glory. And download it if you feel like it.

Oh, and if you’re a creepy type and wanna know more about Pollyne, follow her on Instagram and Twitter @po_lite but, also know, she’s most likely not gonna have sex with you ever.