Answers to questions Vol. 170


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What up. It’s monday right now and tomorrow, I’ll be heading down south to do a week of shows with Emancipator. (those dates and others HERE). This means a few things. 1)I have no clue what kinda updates I’ll be doing on this blog this week. On one hand, I’ll be traveling in a bus and it’s possible that bus could have wifi. On the other, it might not. I guess we’ll find out. Regardless, I’ll post shit when I can.
2)I have shows coming up and you should totally come if I’m playing anywhere near where you live.
Anyway, this is where I answer your questions that you ask. If you’d like to be a part of that magic, please ask me anything. Send me questions to phatfriendblog@gmail.com or leave them in the comments below. It’s all anonymous.
This weeks batch is pretty silly…No boring musical questions. just people being dumb…and I like it. Let’s get into it…

I’ve read multiple times that scents that men are most attracted to are vanilla, lavender, and pumpkin spice. Apparently, there’s even pumpkin spice perfume, wtf. Are these scents really so enticing? Debunk this shit, Block!

Did it mention white men specifically? Honestly, I feel those scents are actually more a draw for women who wear really comfortable sweaters in the first days of autumn. Pumpkin Spice, bro.
Are these scents enticing? I mean…not really. Pretty sure my dicks never gotten hard cause I caught a whiff of some yankee candle and , while someone smelling like something sweet doesn’t hurt their attractiveness, it can also make them smell like a stripper. You know what the best smell for a lady is? Not smelling like armpits. That’s a winner. Never forget that men are creeps. We get turned on by weird shit. For every dude that’s aroused by the smell of vanilla/soy bean extract there is a guy who can only get hard if he has a foot in his mouth. So, basically, stop reading Cosmopolitan articles about what men like.

Do you think that your quasi grinch-like attitude with the holidays is mostly related to your work environment and your atypical career?

I’ve been thinking about that this year…. I have more of a typical mon-fri 9-5 type schedule (I love my job though, I swear!) and the holidays don’t bother me that much because I have time off to visit my family,etc. But I think of my friends with creative careers who work from home and if that were me I think it would drive me bananas with all of my family and friends fucking up my personal routine and domain!!! Do you feel the same way?

Not really. I just don’t give a shit about holidays in general. I’m not religious so the real meaning of them is pointless to me. I live 10 blocks from my mom and see my family (well, some of them) a decent amount during the year. I think my disinterest just stems from a general disinterest in all things traditional based upon folklore or some shit that happened thousands of years ago. I like a good meal but, honestly, I have better meals on a weekly basis than I do on Thanksgiving or Christmas. I suppose the only allure to a day like christmas would be if I had kids cause, as we all know, kids are bout that life. I’d imagine, if I had a kid, I would enjoy via their enjoyment. But me, personally? I don’t even like getting presents. I’m an adult. I don’t need any of that shit.

Are dildos as hilarious as farts?
God no. Farts are the , pound for pound, funniest thing in the universe. Think about it. EVERYONE , if the timing or situation is right, will laugh at a fart. The same could be applied to a dildo but I don’t think it’s hits s hard…deep into your soul. Even kids can laugh at farts. They’re as timeless as anything in the universe. That said, I’m pretty sure people have been murdered over them. I know, for a fact, that my girl would routinely like to sew my asshole closed like Method Man said if it meant not being bombarded with farts on the regular. Still…where humor is concerned, farts>>>>>>>

After finishing The Sopranos, were there any characters you felt differently about from the beginning to the time of their death or at the series’ end? Who were you too quick to judge, that either redeemed themselves in some way or completely fucked it up for you. Anybody you disliked so much you couldn’t wait for them to get whacked?

In the end, everyone on that show was a piece of shit. Some more likable than others but they all were pretty terrible human being. I’d say the only character that came out , to me, looking like he lived by some code (even though he was still a piece of shit) was Sil. He was , at least, level headed. Bobby Bacala too actually, though I more just pitied him after marrying Tony’s awful sister.
As for characters I felt differently about? Hmm…I definitely wanted to have sex with Meadow way more by the end of the series. Does that count?

What is your least favorite sport to watch?
Oh man…I have so many. I really only watch basketball and boxing. I can enjoy a baseball game or a tennis match on occasion but, outside of that, I don’t give a shit about any other sports. I can tolerate Football. I can’t watch Hockey. But you know what the worst is to me? Not golf! Soccer. Sorry , everywhere on earth that’s not the US. That shit is so fucking boring I can’t even handle it. It’s so boring , even if I had it playing in the background around the house while I was doing errands, I’d change it. I know it’s the most beloved sport on earth but , seriously, fuck that sport. I played it. It’s boring then too. I realize this is going to most likely result in a flood of angry soccer lovers commenting but I don’t care. You guys are entitled to love that sport but , to me, I’d rather watch bowling or a darts competition.

Would you rather fight one horse sized duck, or one hundred duck sized horses?

This is one of those “oldest questions in the book” type queries.
The way I see it, a horse sized duck could fuck me up. He could take my head off with his bill. The thing is, 100 of anything is a lot. I think 100 8 month old babies with a taste for blood could probably , at least, hurt me badly so duck sized horses would be no easy victory. I’d like to think I could punt them and that would keep them at bay. Also, they don’t have hands so that would help too. I mean, how bad could the kick of a duck sized horse hurt? If I wore soccer style shin guards, I’d be golden. Honestly, the most daunting thing about the 100 duck sized horses would be how time consuming it would be.
I’d be exhausted.

What was the best decade of Saturday Night Live?
I don’t really know who started when off the top of my head but, to me, the best era was the will ferrel era leading into the amy pohler/Kristen Whig era. Even though that includes such worthless humorists as Jimmy Fallon and Horatio Sands, overall, sooooo much good shit came out of that time period. I’d imagine , in 5 years I might think differently cause comedy ages itself pretty quickly but , as of now, that era gets my vote.

14 thoughts on “Answers to questions Vol. 170

  1. Have fun at all those games for the soccer-playing prodigy of a daughter that you’re bound to have one day 🙂

  2. For Answers to questions 🙂

    You seem as though you have natural athletic abilities. Like you can pick up most sports quite quickly. Were there any sports your parents put you onto as a child that you just really sucked at? Do you think this has influenced the opinions that you have about sports in this day and age?

  3. shit block, i like you a lot more after hearing you only watch basketball and boxing. thats me. i can get into baseball for like the last half of the season. football fuck no.

  4. For answers for questions:

    Saw you with emancipator back in Boulder in 2011. It was a rad show, your sounds compliment each other well. Since you’re on tour with him now, I gotta ask – what’s it like touring with him?

  5. If you were forced to legally change your name to something ridiculous, and use the name for all intents and purposes, which one of these would you choose? “Optimus Prime Jr.”, “Bruce Wayne AKA The Batman” or “Luke Skywalker III”

  6. Do you ever do the whole KNOCK ON WOOD aka TOUCH WOOD thing? It’s weird because I don’t consider myself to be a superstitious person at all otherwise, but I catch myself doing that in certain situations and I think most people I know occasionally do it too.

  7. Are there any words you hear English speakers using (because they’re trying to sound fancy) that make you giggle? For example, “vodka” as “whudka” comes to my mind, but I’m sure there are others (not talking about people who actually speak more than one language in this case).

  8. (I’m on a roll, last one)

    Which subway station in Manhattan elicits the best or funniest memories to you? And which station do you hate the most?

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