Whattup. Welcome to the 175th time I have answered questions you have sent me. 175! What the fuck?
A lot of time has passed and one thing hasn’t changed. I need you to send me questions. In fact, I was looking at my question pile and it’s getting kinda thin so, PLEASE, send me some more questions. Either leave them in the comment section below or email them to me at phatfriendblog@gmail.com. You can ask as many questions at a time as you like. All I ask is that you be somewhat creative. If you’re new to this column and the question you wanna ask seems like something that may have been covered already (shit like “Who are your influences” or “What inspires you?”) I can tell you, yes, I’ve covered those surface type questions. But, otherwise, get weird…This column can’t go on without you.
Okay? I look forward to hearing from you. So, now, let’s get into this weeks batch.

Before the knicks vs lakers game the other night there was this behind the scenes thing they do with diff members of the lakers organization. They did a follow along with Bill Bertka who is 86 yoa plain and simple I was baffled! This fuckin guy!! He is still actively playing basketball in the senior olympics it was funny sad and inspiring all at once I def felt mad props for him but how could you do anything but laugh at these guys? not one of them could run at best they were trotting and were even fouling each other it was the funniest thing.

Ten years later and my question is if your health permits will you be the old geezer landing three’s trotting down the court in a head band and windbreaker shorts? Could u see yourself playing as a senior? Let alone 86?

I mean, in my dreams that will happen but I’m not counting on it. I play in a few weekly runs and there are some older dudes at one of those runs. Looking at them, It’s clear that balling out after 50 is not easy. There is a certain kinda fragility that comes with old age that makes a person go the opposite of “hard in the paint”. These dudes don’t even set picks cause they wanna avoid the contact and when they fall down, it’s kinda scary. Shit, I’m not even 40 yet and my body is in constant pain from basketball ball. Every week some new little injury pops up and it drags on for weeks at a time. At the moment, I may or may not have a hernia…or I might have just pulled a lower abdomen muscle. I honestly have no clue but it came out of nowhere and it’s sidelined me for a few weeks now. I’d imagine at 80, that kinda injury gets replaced with a broken hip.
To be perfectly honest, I dunno even know if I’d wanna live to be that old in the first place. I was talking to my girl about this just yesterday. What is the good part of being that old? The perspective on life? I feel like the moment my body stops working how it needs to work, life would be pretty miserable. It’s a depressing line of thinking but, goddamn, fuck getting old.

The idea of sample based music is mind blowing. You are probably one if the most underrated musicians out there due to the fact that not many people understand exactly what the F is happening when you boom bap…. My question is : How the hell do you chop a nice ass bassline and then somehow find a guitar that happens to be playing in the same key… I know you give credit to your software but is there a certain level of it just sounding right to the ear? I cant help but try and deconstruct the beat when I hear you and Im like ” How’d he know to put that with that?”

And man, do I boom bap! shout out to all the european fans out there. You guys always have the best little turns of phrase in your questions.
Anyway,
It’s pretty simple actually. I’m just able to tell when something is in key with another thing. That’s it. It’s kind of the cornerstone of all music. Not being tone deaf. It’s nothing to be proud of as it’s simply something EVERY musician should be able to do. If you cannot do that, then making music is not for you. I used to work with this dude who made beats and he would try and layer samples but they would be all sorts of “out of tune” . He literally couldn’t tell.I’d be like “Those two things don’t work together” and he’d respond “Nah, they synch up fine” , totally missing my point. When I hear something that’s not in key, it’s like nails on a chalkboard for me. I don’t look at this as a talent or skill on any level. Being able to discern when a note if flat just from hearing it is something I assume everyone would be able to do, but I guess not. I guess you’re born with it like a singing voice or being a lefty.

You seem to enjoy writing and I find you hysterical, most of the time. Do you hope to eventually write a book?

I do have fun writing , Most of the time. It’s a great way to just purge any creative energy I have laying around. As far as a book? I’ve never given in much serious though. On one hand, sure, it’d be cool to write a book. On the other, what the fuck would I write an entire book about? Even if it was a collection of “essays”, I dunno how well that would translate into one coherent piece. Not to mention, they’d have to hire like 5 editors to really crack down on all my grammatical and spelling errors. Like that sentence I just wrote right there…there’s no way it’s correct. But, hey, if someone offered me a book deal, I wouldn’t turn it down!
Speaking of writing, my mom found some old school work of mine and one of the things she located was this amazing review of star wars I wrote in 2nd grade.

Not talking about a new job or career change or anything like that, but if you had the chance to participate in something fun as a one-off gig within the entertainment world, what would you choose?

-Being able to pre-interview Catfish candidates for Nev and Max
-Hang around Howard Stern’s Studio and bring him his coffee
-Assist MTV producers in designing the next Real World season

Man, those are all excellent gigs. I’m not even kidding. I’d gladly do any of those things. For an actual living (except the coffee getting gig but, still, that would be kinda cool).
Getting to talk to any of those Catfishing lunatics would be fascinating and being in the Howard Stern studio would be fun as well. But thinking about this, I’d have to go with the one I think I’d be best at. Designing the next real world. Cause, as someone who has shamefully watched every season of that shit show, I know what it takes to make it work. I’d eliminate a lot of bullshit, pick an amazing cast and find a perfect location for it. That would be soooooooo much fun.
Picking the people would be amazing. I think I’d get 5 really attractive people and two total wild cards. Maybe a person who may or may not be serial killer. Or a person who’s a germ chaser (one of those crazy people who tries to get AIDS). They always have sociopaths but they never go balls to the wall with that. I’m sure the psychological screening is crazy for that show but, hey, one serial killer slips through the cracks…how could we know!?!?! It would certainly raise the stakes. The hijinks would be epic.

I’ma long time listner, first time caller. I was wondering what your opinion was on the other Blockhead? And by other blockhead, I mean the flash animated one. This guy:
http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/396965
You see, I use to think your name was derived from him and his awesomeness. But then I grew up. And realised you were old. I don’t want to ask your name origins, because I’m sure many have asked you before. Researching online, and seeing this cartoon, it seems that blockheads are common creatures, but are generally regarded as stupid. Do you perceive yourself as a blockhead in this sense? If so, you shouldn’t. Your alright mate. Ya not dumb either. I’ve learnt a lot of wisdom from your page. I do have a father, but he wasn’t that wise, so you see I depend on bloggers to teach me life lessons.

Yeah, I never heard of that cartoon till this very moment. It was…okay.
My name has nothing to do with any former usage of the term. It’s not based on that cartoon, charlie brown, gumby’s enemies or people who nail things into their heads.
It was just my rap name before I made beats and based entirely on me having a square head (jaw) when I was younger. It was an era of self depreciating names and I ran with it.

What are your thoughts on non-traditional hip hop like clouddead? I see it as an interesting departure from the norm but It seems like a lot of fans of hip hop can’t see it as more than anything but backpacker shit for people that don’t know what “real” hip hop is.
It depends. I haven’t heard a cloud dead song since the early 2000’s but I was always kinda iffy about them. They made interesting stuff for sure but it wasn’t really the type of thing I would find myself listening to. in many ways, my taste in what I listen to on my own is way more traditional than the music I actually make might dictate. At the same time, I’m all for weirdo rap. I just need to the rapers doing it to be legit good rappers. Not saying Dose-one isn’t a good rapper at all. He can rap his ass off but he’s a very particular taste.
The thing about a lot of non-traditional rappers is that they’re generally dudes who couldn’t pull of traditional rap (again, this is not referring to Clouddead at all). It would be like a painter who can only do abstract Jackson pollack type stuff but can’t paint a bowl of fruit decently. In order for one to be convincing, you must first learn the basics. A lot of non-traditional rap sounds like white dudes with no real background in rapping trying too hard to be different. It’s often a case of people focusing on the detials but overlooking the big picture. It’s the type of thing that, when it’s good (Freestyle fellowship is a example) it’s awesome but when it’s bad, it’s even worse than boring mediocre traditional rap cause it’s someone truly missing on all cylinders.

Happy presidents day! or whatever the fuck holiday it is. Whatever it is, it’s a day off for people who most likely hate their jobs so congrats!
It’s that time of the week where I take reader questions and answer them. Simple stuff.
If you’d like to be a part of the magic, send me some questions! In fact, PLEASE! Send me questions. I can always use them. Either leave them in the comments below or email them to me at Phatfriendblog@gmail.com
It’s all anonymous and you can get weird.
Oh, also, I got some shows this month in L.A., Sand diego and Austin.
Peep HERE for dates
So, let’s get into this weeks batch…

Block, I was a low level employee who pleaded with my superiors to sign you for the album that was eventually Music by Cavelight. Sadly, they could not understand how an album could be that amazing without lyrics. I even got a meeting with us and your manager Gabe and kept in touch with Gabe for a mintue. Am I wrong to assume that we were not the only label that met with you and passed? I remember listening to the demo repeatedly but just could not convince the bosses to pull the trigger. Did you meet with Def Jux, Rawkus, Bronx Science, Stones Throw or any other prominent early 00’s independents?

I actually didn’t “meet” with any labels. My manager basically sent it out to a bunch of labels and then followed up. Thing is, we didn’t send it to many rap labels. So all the ones you listed above weren’t in the running.I’m actually surprised whatever label you worked for had it to evaluate. I probably would have gone with with Def Jux but, right as I was shopping my finished album, Dead Ringer (By RJD2) came out so I figured they were good with one instrumental act.
Initially, Mush was supposed to put out the album. They’re the whole reason I even made it in the first place. They were like “You ever though about making an instrumental album?” and I was like “Umm..no. But I’ll try.”
So, I made the album, thinking they were gonna put it out but I couldn’t get in touch with them. Like , literally, could not get in contact with them. No one was picking up the phone. So, my manager sent out the album to a bunch of indie electronic type labels (I don’t really recall which ones though). Warp got their hands on it and were considering it but ultimately passed cause it wasn’t the right fit for that label. They did , however, pass it along to Ninja Tune and that’s how it got picked up.

What’s the rap scene like on New York, these days? I met a touring artist at a show in Seattle, a couple if years ago, who was from NY, and he said no one likes underground in NY anymore. He said you have to come out west to get shine. I’m just wondering if there is any truth to that.

Thing about NYC is that there is no huge “Scene”. We have a few weekly parties that have been going for a while but, overall, there’s no major movement happening. Everyone is just kinda going at it alone. In a way, NYC has always been like that. I’ve always been in awe of places like the Bay area where a local artist would go gold without selling records anywhere but his hometown. Dudes like E-40. NYC never had guys like that or that kind of local support. Even in the golden era. Shit, Brand Nubian’s “All for one” was a huge album here but most people (myself included) bought the bootleg cassettes when it came out.
I definitely concur that underground rap is MUCH more popular out west. But, I’d also say that performing in general is more fun out west. NYC has never been a fun place for performing live shows. Unless you’re a big deal or “The next big thing” the crowds here are typically bored and the shows aren’t even that well attended. ESPECIALLY for indie rap dudes. I’m talking mid-level guys. Aesop and Atmosphere will always do well here.
That said, I think people here still do like underground shit, they just don’t leave their homes to go see it when it comes to town.

Why is your blog called Phat Friend? Who are your writing influences? Who is your number one favorite writer of all time? When are you going to make another MySpace blog?

“Phat friend” was always a funny name to me that I wanted to use in some capacity. I was sitting on it for a while thinking it could be a song title or the name of a side project but it was too silly. So, when I made this blog, it seemed like the perfect title.
As for writing influences and favorite writers, I’m not exaggerating when I say I don’t read. I truly find no enjoyment in reading books. I’ve done it before, I’m capable of it but the mixture of my short attention span and desire to be doing other things ruins most books for me. The only time I can even get into one is if I have no choice. Like if I’m on a place with no tv’s on them or in a foreign country. But, even then, it’s a time passer. I don’t really ever enjoy it. So, I have no influences with writing cause I’ve never gotten than immersed in any one writer. To me, books rate from “That was okay” to “I forget everything I just read the second I put it down”. When I do read, I tend to like Non-fiction though.
As for the glorious Myspace blog, I’m afraid this blog has over taken it. RIP Myspace blog.

Hypothetically, you’re a single man. Taylor Swift sets her praying mantis looking eyes on you and asks to go out. The media paints her as a little immature, insecure, yet into older guys (or dudes who are still legally children), basically a chick looking for Prince Charming. However, in real life, who the fuck knows what she’s like. So basically, you have the chance to go out with someone with tons of money and has banged John Mayer, Twilight boy, a Jonas brother, and probably a bunch of other people. She will definitely write a song about you, “Ode to Tony”, where either everything’s your fault or you’re a fucking king because you let her win at mini golf or some shit. She’s almost 6 foot tall so her vagina may or may not be smelly (according to your personal theories). Anyway, so would you go out on a date with TSwift? If nothing else, the media attention you’d receive would boost your fan base.

Let’s be real. She’s both not my type at all and she would probably vomit blood at the sight of me shirtless. Not exactly a good match but, for the sake of this question, we can ignore those realities.
So, IF I WAS SINGLE, I would most definitely go on a date with Taylor Swift.. Not for the fame aspect of it or setting sights on being her man but more so with hopes of simply hitting it. Just because. As much as she is like a blonde giraffe , who am I? I’ve certainly done worse than Taylor Swift when I was a single guy having sex with random girls. If anything, I’d do it just to see what kinda song she’d make about me. Knowing me, I wouldn’t give a shit and it would make for an amazing story. Unless she did a song about me having a small dick or erectile dysfunction (Lies! all lies!) I can’t see anything she would possibly write about me being an issue. One thing would be certain though, I would disappoint here on all levels as a “prince charming” candidate. I’m just not that guy. I might hold the door open for her but that’s about as far as my chivalry would go.
Also, there is a little part of me that’s curious about what sex with taylor swift might be like. While there’s no way it would be good, I would just wanna experience that for myself. Though, I can imagine it would be a whole bunch of “oww…not like that…don’t touch my hair. What are you doing with your hand? Are my tits too small? We should buy a dog together!”
Ughh…

Hey mang, so I was watching the Kubrick documentary Boxes that explained his meticulous detail for research and such. So, it made me start thinking about one of your answers to another question in this category of ‘answers to questions’ not too long ago, concerning a mans desire to collect things. That was what brought upon this question. Upon discussions and reading your comments on films (i recommend dogtooth by the way, on a weird narrative note), i know of your distaste toward year-end lists of films. but I was just wondering:

Block, What has been a favorite or even least favorite movie that you’ve had your mind on lately?

I haven’t seen a movie in a few months but the last one I saw was “Wolf of wallstreet” which I thought was highly entertaining. Since seeing that movie, I’ve had the displeasure of reading people on the internet look for any reason they can conjure to dislike that film. It’s the worst. From some faux moral outrage to knit picking pointless things , a good amount of people are actively trying to dislike that movie, ignoring how much fun it was. Anyone who’s used the word “irresponsible” when reviewing this movie, is missing the point completely.
Clearly, it’s flawed. Most movies are. But it’s a 3 hour movie that doesn’t really get too tedious or boring at any point. Amazing performances too. I saw “American hustle” as well but , the more I thought about the two, I preferred Wolf of Wallstreet.
As for movies I didn’t love…I watched “Insidious” on cable the other night. It wasn’t the worst but it just seemed like it was kinda cheap. It really flies of the rails at the end too. I greatly prefer “The conjouring” to it, even though a good deal of people have stated otherwise. As you can see…I’m not a film critic for a reason.

Dear Blockhead:

Is it just me or is LL Cool J the most prolific awards presenter of all time? Every time I click on the tv on a sunday night and an award show happens to be on, he is right there, presenting the next award. Am I imagining things?

I don’t know if he’s the most prolific award presenter but he’s definitely the most successful wax turtle in all of history.