Answers For Questions volume 193

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Whattup everyone? Welcome to another edition of “Answers for questions”. Steadily creeping up on Volume 200, which is when I’m spontaneously combust and that will be that. Looking forward to it.
Anyway, if you’d like to join the fun, I’m always accepting new questions. Send them to me! Either email them to Phatfriendblog@gmail.com or leave them in the comments below. The stranger, the better. At this point, we’ve pretty much covered everything else.
So, let’s get into this weeks crop.

If you could be any inanimate object what would you be? I’d like to be a lamp

The corny answer here would be something like “Emily Ratajakowski’s Vibrator” but I’mma go high brow on this and say the presidents desk in the oval office. imagine all the things I would see and hear! It would be insane. Just kidding, I’d still wanna be that vibrator.

at what point, if any, did you start to experience your *fame*..? and feel that you were making an impact on the vast diaspora of music?

I can’t say I’ve ever experienced it that much cause it’s not really a thing. The most I’ll see it is at my own shows but, in real life? Not so much. Outside of the occasional person stopping me on the street (that happens maybe twice a year ,tops) and the even less frequent free dish at a restaurant (cause someone who works there recognizes me) I’m pretty much completely under the radar. Which is awesome. I would hate to have my life style hindered due to people bothering me every time I was in public.
So, no, I’ve never felt like I was making much of an impact on the vast diaspora of music. The only time I’ll even notice I may have had any sort of influence is when I do my demo reviews. Even then, it’s rare.

What are the 3 grossest things you remember seeing on the ground within the ny subway system? PS: what do new yorkers call the subway – the train?

To answer your PS, it’s cause they are literally trains. The “Subway” is what the trains travel through. You don’t ride the subway, you ride the train. But you go to the subway to catch a train. at least, that’s how I’ve always understood it. It’s like the difference between an airport and a plane.
Hmm…let’s see.
1) A guy shitting in a 3/4 full car. The craziest thing was, it was between stops and , instead of leaving the car to go to the next one, people just formed an invisible circle. People were gagging though and the second the the train stopped the entire car emptied out. Dude literally pulled his pants down and shat on one of the corner seats. Easily the grossest thing i’ve ever seen on the train.
2)A dude jerking off.
Every story I have ever heard of guys jerking off on trains has involved the Queens bound F train. No clue why that train is such a hub of unwanted erotic activity but, for some reason, it is. One day, I was going to work (I was about 19 and I worked deep in queens off the last stop off the F train). It was like 7:30 in the morning. This fucking creep was wearing sweat pants and straight jerking his shit to a few catholic school girls. His dick wasn’t out but he wasn’t being at all subtle. In general, seeing a dude on a queens bound F train in sweatpants is a good sign to move.
3) Various disgusting homeless people.
There is no one particular one I can point to but I’ve seen so many unfortunate souls on the train with growths, open wounds and, worst of all, unfathomable smells. It’s fucked up but few things on earth smell worse than an obese homeless woman on the train in the summer. It’s really a testament to how bad a person can smell if gone unchecked. Like, and my apologies to everyone reading this, you can smell their rotting vaginas from like 40 feet away. That is the only smell worse than summer bum feet. Which is only slightly worse than human shit.

Do you ever ‘partymix’ when listening to podcasts? TO PARTYMIX, is this really lame term I just came up with bc can’t think of anything better, but what I mean is playing a random show/movie on mute while listening to an episode of whatever. Some of the best stuff online these days is within podcasts, but I’m SUCH a visual learner and prefer to stare at something consistent so I don’t zone out. For example, I find the ROGGLECAST is best paired with a muted episode of “Ready or Not” “Fresh Prince” or “Who’s the Boss.” So, doyoudothat?

Nope. I’d maybe do that if i was watching a sporting event but I’d much sooner just play a podcast while I’m perusing the internet. TV time is TV time for me.

If you were “that guy” and for some reason insisted upon naming your firstborn after a spice, which spice would be most acceptable to you as a person’s name? Saffron, Parsley, Ginger, Dill, Paprika, Clove, Thyme.

Ginger is a real name so I guess that wins…even though, it’s kind of a stripper name.
I actually think Thyme or Saffron would work but all these names are distinctly feminine to me. I guess men can’t really be named after spices.

really serious question tho, would you rather bang skyler from breaking bad with the head of skinny p in the back of a nice sports car or would you rather bang a loose scarlett johannson with the head of bill clinton in the confines of your place?

regardless, nobody would ever have to know about either of these. you have a third option of neither, however if you chose not to, then you have to live in the same apartment for the rest of your life and you can’t fix anything. meaning that if you get a slow leak, you have to deal with that shit forever until you die. if your paint peels, or you break the sheetrock, then you gotta just deal like the strong willed man you are. also there is a non harmful spider in a dark corner of your house that can’t be killed, doesnt harm you, but in general sucks to have around. basically like a real life hologram wolf spider. if you do follow through with it, you are exempt and rewarded with a $25 walmart gift card.

The easy answer would be the scarlet johannson/Bill clinton mash up , simply cause johansson has a dope body and I could just hit it from the back. Also, being in my own place would be a plus. The “Neither” option is intriguing as well cause, well, I basically live like that already. The only reason anything gets fixed or upgraded in my apartment is cause of my girlfriend. Before she moved in, outside of replacing lightbulbs and having a terrifying spider, I was living that life already. That said, my house is prone to problems and I don’t think i could live here the rest of my life without fixing it. The black mold alone would kill me. Oh well, Scarlet Clinton it is.

Yay or Nay: Mick Jenkins

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Judging from the amount of videos he has alone, I feel like this guy has been around for a little but , as far as I know, he just popped out of nowhere. He’s a Chicago rapper and I definitely hear those influences in his flow and word play.
He’s far more on the soulful side of things than a guy like Chief Keef but he still manages to sneak in some current types of rap styles, somehow reworking them to his favor. I think the first thing that jumped out to me about him was his voice. It just commands a track. Here are a few of his videos. Pretty versatile stuff.


He has an old mixtape you can download…to be honest, I haven’t peeped it yet due to time constraints but here that is in case you want to:
http://www.hotnewhiphop.com/mick-jenkins-trees-and-truths-new-mixtape.111255.html

His new mixtape “The Waters” drops any day now and I’ll be sure to check that out.
So , what do you think?

Fuck/Marry/Kill Vol. 36

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Hello. Time once again for america’s favorite time killer, Fuck/Marry/kill. You guys gave me options, I gave you my picks. As simple a concept as the day is long.
As always, for all you hyper sensitive/easily offended people out there, i will remind you that this is all in fun. It’s not nearly as serious as you’d like it to be so, please, don’t bother being offended by it. It’s dumb. I’m aware of that. We cool? i hope so.
Let’s get into this weeks batch…

F/M/K: Amber Rose, Iggy Azalea, Azealia Banks

Marry: Amber Rose
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This was actually tough cause, in all three cases, I was leaning toward both fuck and kill. Marriage, however, was not one I would easily apply to any of these women. So, I thought long and hard. Did some soul searching. I came up with Amber Rose as the wife. How did I come to this place? Well, when you’re dealing with a stalemate, you have to look towards the subtleties. I picked her cause , well, she’s probably the least awful person of the three to be around. I’ve seen her in interviews. She’s as dumb as a toaster oven and slightly corny but she seems , at the very least, sweet. She’s not like one of those basketball wives and she’s not a crazy person. She’s just a girl who was blessed with a crazy ass , who shaves her head. I think we could make it work.

Kill: Iggy azalea
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Again, this was tough. Iggy has a hot face and crazy ass as well but she’s also like 6’2”. Not really my bag. Beyond that, she’s upper echelon cornball status. Her accent alone makes me want to leave the room and the thought of that aussie/wigger/trap lord hybrid bullshit saying anything to me in any situation is a pretty big turn off all around. The problem with killing her would be how difficult that task would actually be. It would be like the fight between breanna and the Hound on game of thrones. I fear I might not make it out alive.

Fuck: Azealia Banks
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Now, I’m pretty confidant most people reading this right now are curious as to why I chose to kill Iggy and have sex with Banks. Well, hear me out. First off, off the three girls, Banks was the one I was most smitten with at first sight. The first time I saw the “212” video, I legit had a crush on her. she was adorable. So, that alone got her to this point. Beyond that, I realize that, since then, she’s kinda lost her mind. She’s been flipping out on twitter and getting into all sorts of beefs with people over extremely dumb shit. That only plays more into this whole choice. It’s a known fact, in the fuck/marry/kill universe, that crazy often = Good sex. So, in the case of banks, I’m willing to find out and show her what my dicks like, homie.

F/M/K:New Year’s Eve/Halloween/St. Patrick’s Day

Kill: St. Patrick’s day
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Easiest pick I’ve had in a while. I’m not irish, I don’t day drink and I hate parades. Add those things together and you have a no brainer. I’ve even imagined killing this day outside of this silly game. St. Paddy’s day fucking sucks. Everything about it. I’m sure some people have fun and , if you’re a dude who is into pale , shapeless women, it could be a pretty strong day to get laid but, otherwise? DEAD DEAD DEAD.

Fuck: Halloween
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Halloween is fun. You get to dress up and pretend. Girls go nuts and get basically naked. So that’s cool. However, it’s another day with a stupid fucking parade and really, let’s be honest, it’s a one and done kinda situation. No one wants to do this every day. So, it fits perfectly into the “fuck” criteria. Yes, I wanna fuck halloween but there’s no way I’d wanna do that shit daily. One and done. I’d even do the walk of shame home the next day in my costume, looking like a deranged person.

Marry: New year’s eve
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Yes, NYE is amateur hour. But , you know what else is amateur hour? Marriage.
I pick NYE for many reasons. For one, no parade. That’s huge.
Secondly, it’s a huge party with tons of friends. I typically chill with all my closest friends that night and it’s always fun. Even the bullshit ones where we just end up at some bar. Thirdly, on some scum bag shit, I’d say it’s the best “get laid” day of the three by far. Of all the holidays, it’s by far the one I’ve had the most success at.
I’d also add that NYE is very versatile. You can party different ways. Some people go to clubs. Some go to house parties. some gather a small group and just go to a secluded place in the woods. It’s really whatever you wanna make it, which is nice and enables it to evolve with you. My mom can pop off on NYE and still have fun just like I can.
So, really, if I had to pick one of these three days to live over and over, it would be this one, by a landslide.

F/M/K:
The American Dialect Edition:
Accents from THE WIRE / Accents from FARGO / Accents from THE SOPRANOS

Fuck: Sopranos
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I bet you thought I’d marry this one but nope! I actually hate those guido/jersey accents. To many people who’ve never been to NYC, they think that’s how we all talk, which is infuriating. But still, I gotta have some home town pride. I can’t just be killing all my neighbors. So, screw it…I’ll fuck’em. At least it’s a familiar. And there is something weirdly sexy to me about a girl with a terrible jersey accent. i wouldn’t bring her home to my mom but it definitely makes me think she’s a little trashy, in a good way.

Kill: Fargo
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This fucking accent. I can’t even take it seriously. It’s what happens when you leave white people alone for decades. It’s as if you mixed irish people with cheese and time and , Ta-dah! That’s what you get. I also have a weird issue with people who say “Oh my gosh” cause I feel like they’re scared to say “Oh my ,god”, which makes me think they’re god fearing lunatics. Sure, that’s an unfair jump in logic but it always bugs me out. Especially when porn stars say it. It’s like “Really? You just took 7 dicks in your ass at once but saying the lords name is an issue?” But i digress…Terrible accent and one I could never deal with for more than passing pleasantries.

Marry: The wire
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I just wanna clarify that there is not a single north american accent that I think is even remotely sexy. They all sound like yokels to me. From southern cali surfer guy to southern belle to that crazy maine accent that guys who go clamming have…they all are equally lame. This B’more accent isn’t pretty but ,Perhaps cause it’s the one I hear the least, It doesn’t bother me. So, really, I’m picking this one strictly due to it being the last one left. You know when that happens, it was a tough round of F/M/K. But I think I’ll be okay, thanks for asking.

F/M/K:Ellen Page,Yoko Ono ,Emilia Clarke (she plays Danaerys in GoT)

Marry: Emilia Clarke
Fast Girls - UK Film Premiere
I mean…come on. I’d marry her in real life right now and I’ve never even seen her in person or spoken a word to her. She’s the hottest and…well, she’s the hottest. There was a time in F/M/K, history where I’d always marry the lesbian cause, in a way, it would be like not marrying at all. That way, I’d actually get the ideal situation. A cool roommate and total freedom. but, in this case, fuck all that. I’m wifing the mother of dragons up with no hesitation.

Kill: Yoka Ono
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Again, Come on. Who’s not killing Yoko in this? Fred Phelps would kill Yoko in this and he hates gay people more than he hates asians (I’m assuming). Not only is she old as fuck but she also sucks. She wasn’t even hot when she was young and she pretty much invented being “pretentious hippies”. Unacceptable. DEAD.

Fuck: Ellen Page
"The East" Portraits - 2013 Sundance Film Festival
Listen, she’s got a few things going against her. The obvious one being she’d be revolted to have to have sex with me. I feel you, girl. Secondly, she looks like a child. That would be creepy. But, that said, she does have a very cute face and I bet , if I got it over with quick enough, we could pal around before she went to bathroom and barfed for 3 hours cause she was forced to sleep with a disgusting man. Basically, I picked this one cause there was no way i wasn’t picking Clarke for marriage. When making an F/M/K cake, sometimes you gotta break some eggs. Out of respect, I’d try my best to be as quick and non-evasive as sex can be. Trust me, i don’t wanna be there if she doesn’t wanna be there.I’m a gentleman.

Rogglecast16- Poop Demons

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This week , Pollyne and I discuss how Thicke is officially the biggest sucker of all time, Movies we’d like to make and long distance relationships. Also, Pollyne may or may not still be a little drunk from the night before. You be the judge!
Also, subscribe on I-Tunes! Rate us well! Write a kind review! Tell your mom about us! Well, don’t do that last one…but do the rest.

You like Nina Simone? Check this out. I did a little mix/mash/up/song

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For the last couple years , during live shows, i’ve been doing a variation of this Nina simone mash up. Basically, I took a bunch of different samples from her catalogue and made one song out of them. I’m bout ready to retire it from my live set so I figure I might as well release it into the world.


http://www32.zippyshare.com/v/63713526/file.html
I made downloading possible but there’s a limit at 100 so, just in case, here’s an alternate link to download it.

Enjoy!

Answers for questions vol. 192

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Hello everyone…Time , once again, for another mystical and magical trip through my inner minds eye hole AKA Answers for Questions. That thing where you guys ask me anything on your godforsaken minds and I answer it. If you’d like to join the fun, send me questions! Either leave them in the comment section below or email them to me at phatfriendblog@gmail.com. Both those methods have been proven successful. So, yeah…do that.
Anyway, here is this weeks batch.

I think that people who are in crowded public places or who go jogging outside with their headphones on are absolutely bananas. How could they not realize that you could be snuck up on at any time! Is that weird?

That is weird. I think you may have trust and social anxiety issues. I’m a person who often had headphones when I walk around. Crowds or not. As long as you’re being aware of your surroundings it’s a non-factor.
I love walking home drunk, late at night, just listening to my ipod. Talk about being a sitting duck but, still, I’ve come out okay so I’mma keep doing it.

If you needed to churn out a creative FMK question for a guy friend of yours, what would you come up with? Give a girl option and an inanimate option svp s’il vous plait.
Hmm…
Girl option: A hot nun, a mediocre looking college student or busted prostitute who is a sexual dynamo
Inanimate option: Farts, burps, or sneezes

Hey Block, Question: How do you feel about the word “faggot” in rap? It seems like the cultural shift is making it less common on albums now, conscious rappers like KRS never used it, rappers like El-P used it in the CoFlow days but grew out of it, Eminem has always used it but offensive is kind of his game, having gay friends and being a pretty conscious guy I would never use it in daily life, but I give most rappers a pass because I like the music, basically I prefer not to hear it but it’s not a deal breaker for me (except with Immortal Technique I think it’s kinda hypocritical because he’s all about injustices to minorities, so no pass) I know rap fans where the word ruins songs/artists for them…So does it bother you on any level?

It doesn’t bother me in the slightest. I don’t tend to be a fan of word policing on any level and , more than anything, I’m simply not easily offended. I also come from an era where it was common place so it’s not exactly shocking to me.
I fully understand why some words are offensive to people and why a word like “faggot” would really upset certain people. It’s a harsh word with a history to it. That said, it’s also a word that means different things in 2014 depending on the context. Brand Nubian using it when describing how they hate gay people is much different than , say, El-P using it simply as a word of insult.
I was listening to the WTF podcast the other day and Marc Maron had Rupaul on as a guest. It’s a great episode, btw. Anyway, the discussion of hate words came up and Maron asked Rupaul how he feels about words like “faggot” and Rupaul was like “Oh, I don’t give a shit. I say it all the time” then he went on to make the point that those words only have power if you give them power and ,If someone calls you a “faggot”, and you let it hurt your feelings, that’s as much on you as it is them. I’m paraphrasing in a major way here, but that was his basic point. It was honestly the first time I had ever heard a famous gay person take that stance and I found it pretty refreshing. I’m sure others don’t agree with that take and I fully respect that but , still, it’s nice to hear people who simply aren’t that bothered by aimless words, no matter how cruel their history may be.
So, yeah, it doesn’t bother me. But, then again, I probably would’t be bothered if a random rapper said “Blockhead is a terrible person” on a record cause, if he didn’t know me, what do I care? I just don’t get bothered by that kinda stuff in general.

So what do you think when people use shortened twisted versions of words on the web? I know it’s nothing new but it’s annoying when I hear it a lot. Like when I think Kanye West used “cray” now it’s kind of a word?wtf. I guess it wouldn’t bother me too much, but now I see RJD2 using “Yung” on the internet. Is it just ironic now? Mebbe it’s just those two words and goddamn “bae” for baby that are most annoying. I’ve even felt the urge to spell things differently myself…? What the hell? Do you find yourself about to change your vocab to stay with the awesome trends?

I’m pretty sure a lot of those words have swung around to the “irony” category by now.At least with adults. RJ using “Yung” ,for sure, is an example of that.
I am not that bothered by people using those words online. I get that , not only are they in vogue but it’s also just short cuts to typing less words. In the twitter/texting age, people seem to be doing that kinda shit regardless of if they have a character limit. That said, when they start actually vocalizing those words,I think those people are kinda ridiculous. It’s definitely more acceptable for women to do it, cause it’s kinda cutesy (still, corny though but ladies seem to get graded on a curve when it comes to things like that), but for dudes? unacceptable. I don’t ever wanna here some guy say the word “Perf” to me. Or, even worse, say “O.M.G.” out of his mouth.
If you’re a man and you say that out loud, you should be ashamed of yourself. Hell, your parents should be ashamed of themselves too cause they created you.

Last Wednesday I “climbed” a tree by trying to jump and grab a branch with one hand. Unfortunately I underestimated the momentum and i swung forward. I felt the crust crumbling under my left hand as my body was almost horizontal. I lost my grip and fell right on my ass. Apart from the shock there was no significant initial pain but the next day i could hardly walk from the pain in the western hemisphere of my ass. It’s been a week now and since I have got a lot of hair back there and no girlfriend it is hard to find volunteers to massage it.

Needless to say I did not see the doctor yet, as I am one of these guys (like all men are) who goes to see a doctor when it is too late. Meaning my ass will be amputated along with the portrait of my mother.

I considered shaving my ass so people would not be disgusted by the imagination to massage this shit out of my ass (Pun level 3000) but this is like some Yoga-advanced shit my stiff body is not capable of. So again I would need help to do that.

You see, I am kind of trapped in this vicious cycle of hairiness and lack of self-reliance.

Please help me Blockhead!

Umm…shave your ass. Or don’t. More importantly, stop living out you jungle book ass life fantasies and stop climbing trees. What are you, seven years old? you got a tree house, guy?
Trust be told, I doubt anyone is gonna wanna massage your ass no matter what it looks like. But I have good news! There are people who do that for a living and accept money in exchange for those services. Find one and pay them and your ass can look like captain caveman’s and no one will say shit to you. And, who knows, if it’s the right type of massage spot, you could possibly get a $20 hand job out of it as well.

How come there’s often shitty sound quality at the majority of shows, small or big? That’s so weird to me because it seems like it be the 1# priority to take care of when you’re a venue that hosts live music, but I also realize there must be factors involved that I’m not aware of. I’d say that roughly 35% of shows that I’ve been to have had good sound quality, and I’m not even that picky bout it. Why do you think that is?

There are many factors to this. Possible reasons include
1)Shitty sound guys who don’t care
2)Artist who control their own sound and think louder=better
3)the way certain rooms are set up and how the sound reverberates within that room.
4)bad speaker placement
And a bunch of other things I can’t think of now.
For me, the main issue is the loudness. I realize we live in a culture of excess and a huge part of seeing live music is feeling that music. However, it reaches a point when the music is so loud that all it’s nuances are lost. Too much low end can drown out any of the other parts of the song. Sometimes a room will have too much mids and everything will sound shrill. Simply turning things down a little will often help those issues but everyone feels the need to be the loudest.
I’m not one of these “Silent disco” types but I do think it’s a good idea, where sound quality is concerned. Giving people control of their own music volume is a good idea. I’d be willing to bet those people actually listen to the music at a sane level and still enjoy it just as much.
I’d also like to add that, as performers, this loud ass shit is fucking us up. It’s gonna be scary how many famous dj’s are going to be deaf in like 20 years. We’ll be the music equivalent to football players and concussions.

Do you feel weird when you realize that you were once a person who used to chew on their own feet and love it? {because you were once a baby and ALL (most) babies put their feet in their mouths}?

It’s funny you bring this up cause I think about that all the time! Just kidding. I’ve never once given that an even passing thought. So, no, I don’t feel weird about it at all. Furthermore, baby feet are adorable and , generally, pretty clean. I’d put a baby foot in my mouth right now, bro! Also, when you think of all the crazy shit babies put in their mouth (IE: Everything they come across) Feet are actually pretty sanitary by comparison. I can only hope that, when I was a baby, I went hard of the feet chewing. It’s really the only time in life that’s okay.

Demo Reviews Vol. 50

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It’s fucking volume 50 of this crap. Can you believe that? That means I’ve reviewed 500 of your demos. 500!!!!! Kill me!
Anyway, thanks to all those people who have submitted. You make this personal hell of mine possible. Oh, and speaking of submitting, I’d like to say that I am no longer accepting demo submissions at this time. I got a whole bunch the last few weeks so i should be good for the next 3 or 4 months. When it’s time for more, I’ll let you know.
So, obviously, this is demo reviews. You send me your music, I get all critical on you and we both part ways amicably. The reviews are done like so: I write a paragraph or two about your demo than rate you in these 4 arbitrary categories
Production
Vocals
Listenability
Originality

Simple stuff really. Let’s get into this weeks batch…

Artist:Fake Money
Song: The empire Bikes fast


This is like a weird mix between Eminem, J-zone and a person who doesn’t curse. It’s quirky and cute. I don’t love how this dude uses his voice but his wordplay is actually pretty creative and his dorkiness in endearing. I like this way more than I feel like I should. Production wise, it’s okay. It play’s it’s part but the focus is obviously the rapper. Seriously, I wanna like this a lot less but it somehow works.
Production:4.5 out of 10
Vocals:6 out of 10
Listenability:6 out of 10
Originality:6 out of 10

Artist: Vivid Dreamscapes
Song: Creators Lament


Beat-wise, there is nothing happening here. It’s a somber 2 bar loop. It definitely got a mood to it but it’s pretty boring overall. The rapper sounds like he’s reading his rhymes of the paper and is fairly monotone. He’s not bad and will very likely improve to being straight up good (his voice could be really dope if he learns how to use it better) but, currently, he’s not quite there yet.
Production:4 out of 10
Vocals:4.5 out of 10
Listenability:4.5 out of 10
Originality:3.5 out of 10

Artist: Synau
Song: Relax relapse


This some decent emotional instrumental shit right here. Nice use of live instruments for sure. Good sounds all around. Not really the type of thing I’d listen to but it’s executed well. As a song, it doesn’t really go any where in particular. It just kinda meanders but, I suppose, that’s the point of songs like this.
Production:5.5 out of 10
Vocals:N/a
Listenability:5.5 out of 10
Originality:5 out of 10

Artist:Cautious Kieran
Song: Day One


I like this beat a lot. It’s well put together and just weird enough to not sound typical. The rapper is okay. He posted his lyrics on the bandcamp page and, honestly, upon reading them before listening to the song, I expected this to be much worse. So, in a way, that’s a victory in itself. But, outside of that, he sounds a little stiff.
Production:6.5 out of 10
Vocals:4.5 out of 10
Listenability:5.5 out of 10
Originality:4 out of 10

Artist: Krillhead
Song:Brown Bottles


This is what it would sound like if pirates made instrumental sample based music. It’s bugged out. I kinda like it.
It’s got a few parts but it could also be shortened cause the song is basically the same two 3 part sequences playing twice. Other than that, it’s cool.
Production:5.5 out of 10
Vocals:n/a
Listenability:5 out of 10
Originality:5 out of 10

Artist: Matt the Wolf
Song: Palm sweat


It’s rare that you hear a dude with a lisp do double time. The result is half interesting and half mumble-y. This dude can double time rap for sure but his speech impediment is definitely glaring. Still, he can rap well. The flow and way he emotes is very much similar to many other people who have done double time before. In fact, it’s kinda the go-to cadence where this kinda rap is concerned.
The production is okay. honestly, I don’t feel to strongly either way about it. It’s well made but not particularly interesting.
Production:4.5 out of 10
Vocals:5 out of 10
Listenability:5 out of 10
Originality:3 out of 10

Artist:Fatt & Tensile
Song: Buckle


This guy strikes me as one of those guys who is good at writing but doesn’t have the voice or natural flow to really ever take his rapping to the next level. Trust me, I can relate deeply. I was that dude once. He’s not a bad rapper but there’s not much about him that’s gonna make people go back to him. The beat is weird. Like, I don’t really know what’s going on. It’s not dissonant but it’s also not exactly reeling me in either.
Production:4 out of 10
Vocals:4 out of 10
Listenability:4.5 out of 10
Originality:4.5 out of 10

Artist: Fou-Lu
Song: Poetry and love


Okay…first off…this beat. It’s a note and a snare. I get they might be going for that super minimal KA type thing but it did not work on any level.

It’s just grating. As for the rapping, I’d like to admit something…i saw the song title “Poetry and love” and immediately was ready to write this dude off. TERRIBLE title. It just speaks a deeper truth about the level of corny you might be dealing with. Upon listening, it’s not as bad as I thought but it’s also not good. It’s a dude spitting “#barz who isn’t really ready to be spitting bars. His voice is a little flimsy and the lyrics themselves are just pretty typical of this kind of rap. But, at least, he’s less corny than the song title would have made me assume.
Production:2 out of 10
Vocals:4 out of 10
Listenability:3 out of 10
Originality:3.5 out of 10

Artist: Big Chief Shitty Weasel
Song: The hammer, anvil and stirrup


This is different. I like the musical aspect of this. The production/instrumentation is cool. Now, the vocals…the nerdiness is palpable. I’m just not into this kinda nasal vocal styling unless it’s someone like John Darnielle from the Mountian Goats.

Basically, this isn’t in my wheelhouse but it’s not badly done.
Production:5.5 out of 10
Vocals:3 out of 10
Listenability:5 out of 10
Originality:5 out of 10

Artist: Forgotso
Song: Tehn


This falls into that “i have no clue” category reserved for electronic music I’m sure some people out there love but I never ever need to listen to. It’s well made. I think. Like I said, I have no clue. Towards the middle it take an “air” like “sexy boy” turn

but still…I dunno. Not really for me to say if this is good or bad.
Production:5 out of 10
Vocals:n/a
Listenability:4 out of 10
Originality:5 out of 10

So, what do you think?