Defending my tweets Vol. 8


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Welcome to another edition of “Defending my tweets”. It’s where I get to take the long rout in explaining what 140 characters couldn’t cover. I’m not so much “defending” them as i am just giving more insight into the brain farts I have on twitter. Cause, lord knows, brain farts need explaining.

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When I tweeted this, I believe it was the day after Beyonce had dropped her new album (out of thin air, apparently). Basically, I woke up (like this), went online and saw my entire twitter and facebook timeline splattered with girls gushing uncontrollably about Beyonce. The love was real. I might also add , these were adult women. Not teenagers. So, this kinda explosion of love isn’t exactly common on my social network existence. Personally, I’m okay with this. Beyonce is talented, she’s one of the hottest women alive and she works hard. I’m more bringing this tweet up cause of the reaction it got. That being a whole bunch of girls being “Not me! fuck Beyonce!”. Now, whatever. You don’t like Beyonce? That’s fine. I mean, it’s not like I’ve ever even come close to having a song she’s even on enter my Ipod. It’s not my thing and I’m waaaaay out of her demographic. But the pure unadulterated hate that I saw was something else. People weren’t just disagreeing, they were writing long winded explanations as to why Beyonce was a terrible person. As if they knew her or something. And that’s the problem. People can’t simply just “not be into it”. Every one feels like their opinion has to be an extreme. I realize this is part of growing up. When I was 22, I had strong opinions on things that didn’t warrant them. I’m sure , if you asked me about Puff Daddy in 98, I would ranted about how he was ruining hip hop culture blah blah blah…but then you get older and you’re like “eh, who cares?”. In the case of the Beyonce haters, these motherfuckers were bringing up her parenting skills, choice of husband/baby name and wardrobe as reasons why she is a piece of human garbage.
The word “hater” gets thrown around a lot and , more often than not, it’s misused. If I tell you I’m not a fan of the music of a particular artist, I’m not hating. That’s just my opinion. If I can vocalize legit reasons as to why that persons music is not to my liking, it’s not hating. Again, it’s an opinion. But if I start explaining the reason I don’t like that artists music by bringing up everything EXCEPT their music? I’m hating. Cause, really, I’m just grasping at anything I can get my hands on to prove my thinly premised point. The second your reason for disliking an artist strays away from their music, you lost me and you also have exposed yourself as a bitter ass hater. Something no one should aspire to be.

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I wrote this after watching a really random interview with basketball coach George Karl. He’s a 60 something year old man and was asked who his favorite rappers were. First off, why? but secondly, what!??!
Anyway, he did what everyone who’s never had a real opinion on the subject has and rattled of the two most famous dead rappers. He’s not alone. It’s a political move done by basically anyone who’s asked that question, ranging from an elderly basketball coach to 99% of rappers in interviews.
This brings up two things
1)It’s bullshit. As someone who grew up during the era, no-fucking-body rode for BOTH these dudes. Not to mention, before he died, Pac was a regional favorite. You could make the same argument for Biggie cause I’m pretty sure, out west and down south, not many people were calling him the best rapper ever. Even after he was killed. So, by throwing both those dudes in your “top 3”, you’re basically playing it as safe as possible while also being totally full of shit.
2)If someone puts BOTH of those guys on their list, that list is made for pandering and that list is not to be trusted. Either that, or they simply are uninformed. Cause, by choosing those two guys, you’re admitting that you were listening to rap from that era, which would make me presume you had heard other rappers…not just those two. Which would lead me to believe that there was a strong chance you’ve heard a better rapper than one or both of those guys. I’ve heard dudes who are 22 years old throw Pac or biggie in their list and I’m like “whaaaaat?”. Not cause I disagree (even though I do, strongly) but cause that means these dudes are basically just going by what was handed down to them by their basic ass elders.
What I’m saying is putting both these dudes in your top 3 is Basic. Like saying Star Wars is your favorite movie or that Mcdonalds has the best hamburgers. It’s not categorically wrong (after all, there are no wrong opinions, just shitty ones) as much as it’s lazy. If you got one of them, then I can see that being real. You’re picking a side. West coast dudes who put Pac in their top three? No doubt. Brooklyn guys who ride for Biggie? Obviously. But both of them? Get the fuck outta here.
For the record, I think Biggie was Awesome. He’s not one of my all time favorites but he’s at least very much in the discussion of “greats”. East coast bias and whatever but let’s not pretend rap didn’t start here and all that. As for Pac? He was okay. He was more a movement than an actual talent as a rapper. He certainly wasn’t bad. Just not great. I’d take a guy like Snoop over him any day and snoop , if you think about it, is the definition of style over substance. But, hey, that’s just me. If you feel obligated to put dead rappers in your top 3 list than more power to you. But to me, deadness doesn’t really come into play when factoring talent and legacy.

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I’m not sure if those ad’s are nation wide…i hope for everyone’s sake they aren’t. But, to clarify, I’m talking about the anti-smoking ads where they show people with holes in their necks, screeching out gurgled words of wisdom like “I wish I quit smoking…” or people with 2 fingers left and one leg that all had to be amputated due to smoking related issues.
Listen, i get it. This is a “scared straight” tactic for smokers. But, here’s the thing…smokers don’t give a fuck. Smokers gonna smoke. How much more shit do you have to put in their face to remind them how terrible that shit is for them before your realize that people generally only quit on their terms. I remember being in europe and they literally had dead fetuses on the cigarette packs…didn’t stop those chimney ass motherfuckers. You know what’s been the most successful way I’ve seen to get people to stop smoking? By jacking up the prices to the point where a dude is smoking 75 cents with every cigarette. Watching people try to bum cigarettes nowadays is on some road warrior shit. But I digress…
I say all that to say this: Those graphic ads are disgusting. I get that , maybe, they’re there to scare kids from even starting. And, honestly, that might work. But, for the rest of us (especially the non-smokers), we gotta sit through those fucking things. Well, we don’t really…i just change the channel. I’m sure everyone does that actually. Why would you not, when those ads are 100X grosser than any horror movie death.
I suppose, if those ads keep one kid from never smoking , they’ve succeeded (which, I’m sure they have) but they’ve also literally made me put down food I was eating and shut my eyes in disgust. Can’t they just show those things in schools or something, cause , I assure you, adults aren’t trying to see or listen to that shit, no matter what side of the coin they are on.

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Let’s start this off by being clear: Iggy Azalea is pretty shitty at rapping. I mean, she can rap, in the sense that she has rhythm and her words rhyme but, artistically, she’s not exactly killing the game. Lie, if you know all the words to an Iggy Azalea verse, I’d be very impressed but also kinda sad for you. Now that that is out of the way, let’s talk about her rapping accent. She is Australian. When you’re from Australia, you tend to have a certain accent. Let’s call it an “Australian accent”. Now, at some point, she moved to the united states and, all of a sudden, she’s up in the trap…She’s a real southern girl! So, when you mix that accent with an australian accent, you have this strange hybrid accent that I like to call “A white girl from australia doing her impression of how southern black american people talk”. I trademarked that so don’t bite it. To put it lightly, it sounds fucking strange. It reminds me of a time I was in Russia and this one dude kept calling me his “Wu-tang nigga!”, even though I’m not affiliated with Wu-tang and, clearly, I have not earned my N-word stripes. To just hear certain types of words and dialects when they are expressed via certain accents, it doesn’t sound or feel right. Azalea’s rapping voice (MUCH different than her speaking voice, btw) sounds like she’s trying as hard as possible to keep her tongue in the back of her mouth cause, if her tongue extends, she won’t be able to stop her natural accent from coming through and might even let a “g’day mate!” slip out uncontrollably..

but when she speaks normally

I realize the “blackcent” is what white rappers do. They have been for decades. Some more naturally than others…but when you got an australian girl rapping like she was raised in the hood in ATL, it’s too much. The only explanation , outside of her being full of shit, is clearly that she gained those powers by ingesting the sperm of enough southern rappers that it shifted her DNA and she gained trap powers. I have no proof of this and , clearly, I made it up but I think there is something to it. Any doctors out there willing to do a study? Holler.

10 thoughts on “Defending my tweets Vol. 8

  1. It’s hard not to find Iggy’s whole steez pretty racist and minstrely. But the craziest thing about the faked black english accent/dialect in rap is now even black dudes who don’t have that dialect naturally use it ie Drake and Childish Gambino. It’s pretty ridiculous, people aren’t down to just sound like themselves.
    and the weird thing is the white guys that sound the best and most natural are the ones that don’t sound black, cuz they aren’t forcing it. White rappers need to take the cue.

  2. A question. I was just wondering, if DMX would have died after his first couple of albums, would he be considered a legend by lots of people now, too?

  3. In my state (where everyone smokes – including me – because it’s culturally accepted and cheap as hell), they run commercials that show teenagers pulling chunks of skin off their faces and using said chunks to pay for cigarettes to indicate that smoking costs you your pretty skin. You got those? Sick.

    • Yup. I’ve seen that one. But, at least, those are fake. The ones I see here are literally horrifying sick old people showing off the whole in their throats.

      • We don’t get that one here. I think that’s a little too discouraging of smoking for TN.

      • in TN also and have definitely seen that one (holey old lady one, that is) too many times. count yourself lucky, rchlcplnd…

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