Things that are wrong with the world Vol. 30

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In the hierarchy of “things the rap game needs”, at the bottom of the list, you will find these things:
3)More rappers in general
2)More white rappers
1)More White girl rappers

This certainly contradicts the hook of Minnesota based rapper ,T-quick. In fact, she’s pretty sure the game desperately needs a white girl. Luckily for her, Iggy Azalea is doing pretty well so , I suppose, that desire has been quenched. But, in case it hasn’t, let’s take a ride.

The irony of this all is that, clearly, there is nothing the game needs less than a white girl. This is not to say white girls can’t rap. There are a few who have popped up in history that were okay. Invincible. Snow the Product, etc…Rappers that, without question had/have skill. But, in this case, “the game” ,as I see it, definitively does not need this particular brand of white girl. A mid western, blonde girl rapping in a thick blackcent , saying words that literally don’t matter on any level. Now, to be fair, this is kinda where lots of rap is heading. It’s style over substance. To blame this one girl for that would be ridiculous. Many equally banal male rappers before her laid this groundwork down, for years. But I think the thing that gets me about her is how much she’s basking in it all. “All white everything” is a phrase she actually says in a rap song about how the game needs a white girl. I’m sure this is not her making a racial point but, jesus christ.
It should also be noted that being white and rapping is no longer a “thing”. It’s not taboo or weird. It’s just a fact of life. So, if you’re existence as a white rapper is pointing out that “Hey, look at me, I’m white AND I rap! I also have a vagina!” , you’re immediately exposing yourself as a hack .

As an old person, I remember when Vanilla Ice came out. Real rap fans/adults Loathed him. Rightfully so. He was a puppet that was created solely to make make money. And he did.
But , amidst all the hate for him as a rapper/entertainer, I feel as though part of the issue was what kind of repercussions he might have down the line.The splash he started would eventually become tidal waves. Sure, the 3rd Bass’s and Beastie Boy’s of the world held it down with integrity back then, but , even at the young age I was when Vanilla Ice happened, I sensed a tension that was more than just “Fuck these white rappers!”. I’d say this T-Quick video is culmination of all those fears. 25 years ago, when Vanilla Ice dropped, somewhere , people were worrying about T-Quick ever existing and they didn’t even realize it. She could be the Terminator of bad white girl rapping, sent back to the future to warn us all of grave danger.
Now, I feel a little bad cause I’m putting this all on her. Just to be clear, she’s a non-factor , in terms of both blame and influence. Her video has a little over 100,000 views so it’s not like this is a movement. I just use her as yet another example of white people getting WAY too comfortable. In reality, she’s harmless. She’s having fun. She’s a blonde sorority looking girl who raps. Cute. But it’s more an overall issue that we’ve gotten to this point where this is okay. That’s the issue. And I don’t mean that in a “she should not be allowed to make music!” kinda way. I mean it in a “So no one’s gonna check this girl?” kinda way. I think that’s my issue. Like I said earlier, I’m old and come from the era of integrity in rap music. I realize this concept is gone to the point of it being corny if you care about that type of thing at all. Hell, Rick ross has made a career out of people not caring about it. But, there was a time, when things like this got policed. Not physically or aggressively. Simply a large group of people say “eh, get the fuck outta here with that bullshit” and it would eventually go away. Those days are gone and I suppose I can accept that. It’s a good thing I’m somewhat removed from having any investment in what “the kids are into” but still…get the fuck outta here with that bullshit.

Rogglecast 15- The Reveal

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This week, Pollyne and I let you in on a little secret we’ve been keeping from you all these episodes.
After we cover that, we get into the dynamics of “Friends with benefits”, discuss how quickly we would die in a zombie apocalypse and how the concept of having a baby is scarier than that same zombie apocalypse.

Answers for questions vol. 191

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What up world,
Summer is knocking on the door down which means my allergies are coming out to play as well. Nothing like a teary eyed, snot filled nose in hot humid weather to really get your mind in a good place.
Welcome to another edition of “answers for questions”. You ask, I answer. Nothing is off limits (unless it’s too personal but that’s rare). If you’d like to become a part of the magic, send me your questions! Either email them to me phatfriendblog@gmail.com or leave them in the comment section below. Go nuts.
This weeks batch of questions are actually a great example of the variety and quality of question I look for. They’re all great so thanks to all those who contributed. Use this weeks selection as a guide, even. It’s great.

Alright Block, here’s a question…do vegans sit on leather couches?

Sure they do. They also wear leather shoes/jackets and tons of other things that conflict with their ideals. Obviously not all of them. But some of them? For sure. Thing is, i don’t have an issue with vegans, in the sense that they are adults and entitled to make their own choices. What they eat doesn’t effect me or my life. It’s only a problem when they’re the preachy kind who will talk your ear off while you’re eating a burger or a fucking piece of cheese. Those kind of vegans can go fuck themselves, on a leather couch with a dildo made of animal byproducts.

I’m not a fan of Deadmau5, or that genre in general, but I really liked this open letter he wrote calling out DJ/producers for exaggerating what they do on stage. The real art takes place in the composing of the songs, and not just triggering on stage. I thought the new SNL skit was pretty spot on (and hilarious) as well. What are your thoughts on the subject? http://deadmau5.tumblr.com/post/25690507284/we-all-hit-play

That was excellent and 100% on point.
In fact, my upcoming albums title, “Bells and whistles” is somewhat related to this. I’ve been touring for years and I always keep it simple. My computer, a trigger pad and , if possible, some visuals. Cause what I do live is literally triggering samples. Granted there are hundreds of samples in my sets but I work within a frame work that ensures the set stays on time and moves along properly. Over the years, I’ve toured with lots of people, opened for lots of people and had lots of openers of my own. One thing that has been consistent is seeing people who bring way too much shit on stage. ESPECIALLY openers. I get it more with established acts or people who actually play instruments but the amount of acts I’ve seen setting up for their 9 pm set ,that begins as the doors openm with like 5 trigger pads, synths they barely use and weird little electronic gadgets that I’m fairly certain don’t even really do anything, is astounding. It’s all, well, bells and whistles. If you’re an opening act, you should have a set up that requires no soundcheck is needed, not an extra power strip and two more tables.
As someone who has come up before electronic music was what it is today, the whole thing has always befuddled me, from a “live music” perspective. I’ll be the first to admit, my live show is not best “watched”. You come see me play and just watch me intently all night, you will be bored cause I’m just pressing buttons. I’ll never understand those people who come to the front row just to stare at me. It’s actually kinda creepy. My live shows are more for people to dance to, check out some visuals or just just vibe out to the music itself. If you like my music, you’ll be into it. The music itself is at the forefront. Not the performance. I think EDM artists (though I definitively do not consider my self one of those) are all about over compensation cause it’s not a natural thing to perform. They (we) are creatures of the studio. We’re more performing on a “DJ” level than a rock band level and sooner we just accept that, the better. Trying to make it something it’s not with all this extra , pointless theatrics makes sense but it’s also complete bullshit that, when stripped down, is usually just a dude on his computer.
I’m glad the music has reached a point where this kind of performance is acceptable and people come out and see us. Hell, it’s literally how most of us make our living. But, personally, I will never be that overhyped dude acting like me pushing that button is some skill set. I’m more focused on making sure I push the right button, to be honest.

When you read the following acronym – ATM – what’s the first term that pops into your mind? “At the moment” or “ass-to-mouth” or “Automated Teller Machine?”

The first thing I think of is the money machine. Then ass to mouth. “At the moment” has never popped in my head ever when hearing those three letters.
In general, when I say the sentence “I need to find an ATM” I’m obviously referring to those walk up prostitutes booths most corner stores have where you dip your penis in their butt, then in their mouth and they give you 80 bucks. No receipt though, thanks, I’m good.

block

you said in a demo review a while ago something like ‘these samples gel almost too well; if they’re all taken from the same track it’s kinda creatively bankrupt.’

what about same album or same artist etc? i recognize that it takes a lot more time and dedication and is more impressive, but is the crate-digger, hunt-and-gather process essential to the integrity of sample-based music?

I mean, people can do whatever they want. There are plenty of great beats out there made out of different parts of songs. I think it’s lazy , from a creative stand point, but it’s not against the rules. I will say that, it’s different when it’s done on a rap beat or on an instrumental beat. With rap beats, you got some leeway cause it’s background music for someones voice. But, if you’re instrumental track is just the same song cut up into 4 different parts, you didn’t really do shit but remix a song. There’s no originality in that.
As for taking multiple sample from different songs on the same album, I have no problem with that. Meshing parts from different songs, to me, is where the skill set is. Taking things that were not meant to be harmonious and making them that way is the name of the game (for me at least).

Folder or buncher, left or right hand? How exactly do you clean your poop? Also, do you see the penis as semi-flaccid or half hard?

I’m somewhere between the two. I don’t fold it so much but I also just turn it into a ball. That seems like it would lead to all sorts of wiping mistakes. You can’t be too cavalier about how you wipe. If you’re a folder and you don’t make enough layers, you could have the dreaded “poke through” where one of your fingers pokes through the paper right as you’re wiping resulting in a finger being launched right into your shitty butthole. That’s never a good look.
As for the penis question, I don’t look at it in one way. It’s a constantly changing being. Sometimes it’s semi hard, sometimes if totally limp. Other times I have full erection. I gauge my penis for what it is at that moment. Right now? comfortably limp.

If you had to encounter one

Would it be a ghost or an alien?

I feel like both have a stigma for being negative so it kinda depends where they’re coming at me from. I feel an angry/violent alien could do more damage , where as a ghost will fuck with you but they can’t actually murder you. They can make wind chimes shake and make you feel really uncomfortable but an alien could rip your head off.
At the same time, if neither of them were particularly violent or mean spirited, i’d definitively take the ghost cause I’m pretty sure we could communicate. Assuming the ghost speaks english. I bet you could learn a lot about the meaning of life from a ghost. After all, he/she was once alive and literally knows what happens after you die. It would definitely clear up all religious questions one might have. Where as an alien probably doesn’t have any clue what I’m saying which would be pretty annoying after a while. Like asking for directions in english in france.

 

Defending my tweets Vol. 8

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Welcome to another edition of “Defending my tweets”. It’s where I get to take the long rout in explaining what 140 characters couldn’t cover. I’m not so much “defending” them as i am just giving more insight into the brain farts I have on twitter. Cause, lord knows, brain farts need explaining.

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When I tweeted this, I believe it was the day after Beyonce had dropped her new album (out of thin air, apparently). Basically, I woke up (like this), went online and saw my entire twitter and facebook timeline splattered with girls gushing uncontrollably about Beyonce. The love was real. I might also add , these were adult women. Not teenagers. So, this kinda explosion of love isn’t exactly common on my social network existence. Personally, I’m okay with this. Beyonce is talented, she’s one of the hottest women alive and she works hard. I’m more bringing this tweet up cause of the reaction it got. That being a whole bunch of girls being “Not me! fuck Beyonce!”. Now, whatever. You don’t like Beyonce? That’s fine. I mean, it’s not like I’ve ever even come close to having a song she’s even on enter my Ipod. It’s not my thing and I’m waaaaay out of her demographic. But the pure unadulterated hate that I saw was something else. People weren’t just disagreeing, they were writing long winded explanations as to why Beyonce was a terrible person. As if they knew her or something. And that’s the problem. People can’t simply just “not be into it”. Every one feels like their opinion has to be an extreme. I realize this is part of growing up. When I was 22, I had strong opinions on things that didn’t warrant them. I’m sure , if you asked me about Puff Daddy in 98, I would ranted about how he was ruining hip hop culture blah blah blah…but then you get older and you’re like “eh, who cares?”. In the case of the Beyonce haters, these motherfuckers were bringing up her parenting skills, choice of husband/baby name and wardrobe as reasons why she is a piece of human garbage.
The word “hater” gets thrown around a lot and , more often than not, it’s misused. If I tell you I’m not a fan of the music of a particular artist, I’m not hating. That’s just my opinion. If I can vocalize legit reasons as to why that persons music is not to my liking, it’s not hating. Again, it’s an opinion. But if I start explaining the reason I don’t like that artists music by bringing up everything EXCEPT their music? I’m hating. Cause, really, I’m just grasping at anything I can get my hands on to prove my thinly premised point. The second your reason for disliking an artist strays away from their music, you lost me and you also have exposed yourself as a bitter ass hater. Something no one should aspire to be.

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I wrote this after watching a really random interview with basketball coach George Karl. He’s a 60 something year old man and was asked who his favorite rappers were. First off, why? but secondly, what!??!
Anyway, he did what everyone who’s never had a real opinion on the subject has and rattled of the two most famous dead rappers. He’s not alone. It’s a political move done by basically anyone who’s asked that question, ranging from an elderly basketball coach to 99% of rappers in interviews.
This brings up two things
1)It’s bullshit. As someone who grew up during the era, no-fucking-body rode for BOTH these dudes. Not to mention, before he died, Pac was a regional favorite. You could make the same argument for Biggie cause I’m pretty sure, out west and down south, not many people were calling him the best rapper ever. Even after he was killed. So, by throwing both those dudes in your “top 3”, you’re basically playing it as safe as possible while also being totally full of shit.
2)If someone puts BOTH of those guys on their list, that list is made for pandering and that list is not to be trusted. Either that, or they simply are uninformed. Cause, by choosing those two guys, you’re admitting that you were listening to rap from that era, which would make me presume you had heard other rappers…not just those two. Which would lead me to believe that there was a strong chance you’ve heard a better rapper than one or both of those guys. I’ve heard dudes who are 22 years old throw Pac or biggie in their list and I’m like “whaaaaat?”. Not cause I disagree (even though I do, strongly) but cause that means these dudes are basically just going by what was handed down to them by their basic ass elders.
What I’m saying is putting both these dudes in your top 3 is Basic. Like saying Star Wars is your favorite movie or that Mcdonalds has the best hamburgers. It’s not categorically wrong (after all, there are no wrong opinions, just shitty ones) as much as it’s lazy. If you got one of them, then I can see that being real. You’re picking a side. West coast dudes who put Pac in their top three? No doubt. Brooklyn guys who ride for Biggie? Obviously. But both of them? Get the fuck outta here.
For the record, I think Biggie was Awesome. He’s not one of my all time favorites but he’s at least very much in the discussion of “greats”. East coast bias and whatever but let’s not pretend rap didn’t start here and all that. As for Pac? He was okay. He was more a movement than an actual talent as a rapper. He certainly wasn’t bad. Just not great. I’d take a guy like Snoop over him any day and snoop , if you think about it, is the definition of style over substance. But, hey, that’s just me. If you feel obligated to put dead rappers in your top 3 list than more power to you. But to me, deadness doesn’t really come into play when factoring talent and legacy.

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I’m not sure if those ad’s are nation wide…i hope for everyone’s sake they aren’t. But, to clarify, I’m talking about the anti-smoking ads where they show people with holes in their necks, screeching out gurgled words of wisdom like “I wish I quit smoking…” or people with 2 fingers left and one leg that all had to be amputated due to smoking related issues.
Listen, i get it. This is a “scared straight” tactic for smokers. But, here’s the thing…smokers don’t give a fuck. Smokers gonna smoke. How much more shit do you have to put in their face to remind them how terrible that shit is for them before your realize that people generally only quit on their terms. I remember being in europe and they literally had dead fetuses on the cigarette packs…didn’t stop those chimney ass motherfuckers. You know what’s been the most successful way I’ve seen to get people to stop smoking? By jacking up the prices to the point where a dude is smoking 75 cents with every cigarette. Watching people try to bum cigarettes nowadays is on some road warrior shit. But I digress…
I say all that to say this: Those graphic ads are disgusting. I get that , maybe, they’re there to scare kids from even starting. And, honestly, that might work. But, for the rest of us (especially the non-smokers), we gotta sit through those fucking things. Well, we don’t really…i just change the channel. I’m sure everyone does that actually. Why would you not, when those ads are 100X grosser than any horror movie death.
I suppose, if those ads keep one kid from never smoking , they’ve succeeded (which, I’m sure they have) but they’ve also literally made me put down food I was eating and shut my eyes in disgust. Can’t they just show those things in schools or something, cause , I assure you, adults aren’t trying to see or listen to that shit, no matter what side of the coin they are on.

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Let’s start this off by being clear: Iggy Azalea is pretty shitty at rapping. I mean, she can rap, in the sense that she has rhythm and her words rhyme but, artistically, she’s not exactly killing the game. Lie, if you know all the words to an Iggy Azalea verse, I’d be very impressed but also kinda sad for you. Now that that is out of the way, let’s talk about her rapping accent. She is Australian. When you’re from Australia, you tend to have a certain accent. Let’s call it an “Australian accent”. Now, at some point, she moved to the united states and, all of a sudden, she’s up in the trap…She’s a real southern girl! So, when you mix that accent with an australian accent, you have this strange hybrid accent that I like to call “A white girl from australia doing her impression of how southern black american people talk”. I trademarked that so don’t bite it. To put it lightly, it sounds fucking strange. It reminds me of a time I was in Russia and this one dude kept calling me his “Wu-tang nigga!”, even though I’m not affiliated with Wu-tang and, clearly, I have not earned my N-word stripes. To just hear certain types of words and dialects when they are expressed via certain accents, it doesn’t sound or feel right. Azalea’s rapping voice (MUCH different than her speaking voice, btw) sounds like she’s trying as hard as possible to keep her tongue in the back of her mouth cause, if her tongue extends, she won’t be able to stop her natural accent from coming through and might even let a “g’day mate!” slip out uncontrollably..

but when she speaks normally

I realize the “blackcent” is what white rappers do. They have been for decades. Some more naturally than others…but when you got an australian girl rapping like she was raised in the hood in ATL, it’s too much. The only explanation , outside of her being full of shit, is clearly that she gained those powers by ingesting the sperm of enough southern rappers that it shifted her DNA and she gained trap powers. I have no proof of this and , clearly, I made it up but I think there is something to it. Any doctors out there willing to do a study? Holler.

Peep “Sumofitsparts” By Marq Spekt and I. Album coming soon!

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You may or may not be aware that rapper Marq Spekt and I have been making some music together over the last few years. We’ve had a few songs drop via video but here’s the first official leak off the album we did , Justplaywitit, called “Sumofitsparts”.
The album is set to drop july 29th on Hipnott records. Preorders are available on I-tunes and Bandcamp
Here’s the new song:

Also, here’s the press write up about it:

Hot off his 2011 collaboration album with Cunninlynguist producer Kno (“Machetevision”), Philly emcee MarQ Spekt teams up with New York producer Blockhead (Aesop Rock, Illogic, Murs, Atmosphere) for one of the grilchiest Hip Hop albums of 2014; JustPlayWitIt.

Representing a certain aggression that is lacking in today’s culture, JustPlayWitIt showcases MarQ Spekt’s bizzarly verbose wordplay over Blockheads’s sirty yet sophisticated production. MarQ Spekt throws a little dirt on the game with JustPlayWitIt; as he walks into the current house of Hip Hop, tracks mud on the rug, sits on the couch and puts his soiled boots up on the table.

and , shit, while I got you here, here’s a few songs Spekt and I have done together already


I’m real psyched for this album to drop. It something a little different from me and Spekt is a beast. Check it!

Rogglecast 14- No apologies

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This week, Pollyne and I apparently left the filter at home. Maybe we were both in “a mood” or “Felt some type of way” but, whatever it is, the gloves were off.
We discuss topics such as the different variety of shitty parades we must deal with as people living in Manhattan, how conspiracy theorists are more dumb than crazy and how celebrities never need to say they’re sorry, no matte show shitty they are.
Download it on the soundcloud page or just go to I-tunes. Subscribe even!
Okaaaaayyyyy…