Shout out to the few people who sent me the above picture this week. It would indeed be a great replacement for my banner pic. I’mma hold on to it for now but, just know, it was appreciated.
How are you guys today? I’m well. I ate chipotle last night for some reason and woke up today legit smelling like barbacoa. Weird. Anyway, this is “Answers for Questions” You know the drill. If you want me to answer anything, send me questions to phatfriendblog@gmail.com or leave them in the comment section below. Keep it interesting and weird. That’s all I ask.
Let’s get into this weeks batch…

How much skin is too much skin to show on the street?
I’d say that entirely depends on the person. I saw a dude walking down the street yesterday with V-neck so deep, it was basically just cloth suspenders. Like, literally, his belly button was almost exposed. I didn’t even know they made them like that. Now, I don’t know if that’s “Too much skin” or not, but it’s definitely a dumb ass shirt.
For ladies, it really depends on how much harassment they’re willing to put up with. You wear tiny shorts and crop top, dudes are gonna be relentless…but if that doesn’t bother you, go for it. I do think some ladies perhaps…umm…misjudge what does and does not look good on their body types sometimes in the summer but, at the same time, if they’re comfortable wearing it, that’s all that matters. Maybe some people love their 4xl muffin tops spilling over the side? Perhaps looking like a slightly opened can of instant biscuit dough is what’s hot in the streets right now? Who knows. Whatever makes you happy.That said, while it is legal for ALL PEOPLE to not wear shirts in public in NYC, that’s one things I feel people should chill with. This isn’t a beach, put a shirt on. Or at least a v-neck that pretends to be a shirt.

Help me out bro, I work near your hood (Houston and Varick St) and I need chill bars to rep, mostly for happy hour.

I can only find super fancy shit or super douchey bro spots like three sheets saloon or off the wagon. I have a very similar personality to you from what I can tell in reading your writing and listening to the Pod. Any recommendations?

To be honest, I don’t really drink on the west side. Occasionally I’ll hit The Rusty Knot on west street but that’s about it. Most places are gonna be douchey, ESPECIALLY for happy hour. Also, it depends what you’re looking for. If you just want a mellow drink, without a bunch of vertically striped shirt pricks there, I’d say just seek out local dive bars. On hudson street, there are a couple. WXOU, Art Bar and this one random bar on Hudson and Commerce that always seems empty but pleasant. If you want to be out around drunk girls with hopes of getting happy hour laid, head over the Automatic slims or Tortilla flats on washington street. They’ll be full of dipshits but also tons of hot girls who drank way too much at 5 pm.
But , if you’re looking for a chill bar with good music, etc…I can’t help you. I generally never day drink, go to happy hour or drink heavily anywhere near where I live. But that has more to do with me not really being a drinker like that. I drink maybe once a week and when I do, it’s cause I went out specifically to drink. I’m all or none with that shit.

On a scale from 0-10, how much do you enjoy popping your own zits?
I don’t enjoy that at all. I don’t get many zits (I’m an adult, you know). But when I do/did, they were brutal ones. Painful boils. Generally around my nose or on my chin. They’d be those type of zits that were under the skin, so popping them just didn’t work most of the time. I pretty much had to let them run their course , until they were finally ready to go, then I’d begrudgingly pop them. Not cause i wanted to but cause I’m that fucking impatient and wanted that thing off my face. But, rest assured, there was no joy in it.
2/10 on the enjoyment scale.

In your Answers for questions 192, there was a question about the word “Faggot” in rap and you answered it in a way that I can agree with (as in it’s not the word itself, but your perception that gives it pain).

Like there are just different times when “nigga/nigger” offend me personally. Do you see this happen a lot or am I just rambling? Have you ever been in the middle of something like this with any of your black or mixed friends?

I mean, that is the one word that will always be an issue for some people. Even a word like “faggot” doesn’t hold nearly as much weight as nigger/nigga.
As a white dude, I can’t really say when it’s right or wrong to use either version of that word. I’d argue that the “hard r” version is , in general, a bad move. But the “soft a”? That’s up to the individual. I know tons of people who use it and don’t even think about it. When a white person says “nigga” in front of them, they don’t blink , as long as the intent is okay with them. That said, the same white person drops a “hard r” and there would be problems.
I haven’t come across much beef amongst friends over that word (nigga, not nigger cause what civilized person actually says “nigger”?). Maybe it’s my age , location, etc but that word is just is either something someone doesn’t say ever or it’s so engrained in their lexicon that there isn’t even a thought otherwise.
Your situation sound a little different though cause you’re the one non-white person amongst a bunch of whites. It wouldn’t shock me if they had weird preconceived notions about race in general but, most of all, they simply might be ignorant to the power of that word. I’ve definitely been around suburban , basic white people whose understanding of when and how to use those words was bafflingly off point. As the one black guy, you’re allowed to tell them to shut the fuck up and , in general, shut them down on racial matters whenever you feel like it. Someone’s gotta tell them, right?

Hey Blockhead, I gotta TV hypothetical for you. Would you rather live as Louie in “Louie” circa ’08. Or George Costanza in “Seinfeld” circa ’94? I know this a dumb question but humor me

Hmm…My initial reaction was louie but I think I might be off with that. Thing is, Louie had kids, is kinda lonely and generally kind of a mess. While George , as big of a piece of shit as he is, lives a life of freedom and has his group of friends. He just seemed happier socially, regardless of what a lunatic he was outside of that. Not to mention, he always pulled women WAY out of his league. So, I think i gotta go with george. Not to mention, 1994>>>>2008.

what are you going to do in 5 years when hip hop is dead

I’m not so much worried about hip hop being dead (come on, son. You know hip hop will exist forever. It’s as locked in as any genre that exists right now) as I am music being dead in general. I don’t mean that in a sense that people will just be “over” music. I mean that ways to earn money doing it will all dry up eventually. At this point, the last two ways to make any real money making music are touring and song licensing. Song licensing will never die but It’s only a matter of time before some technological break through comes through that figures out a way for people to see ALL live shows for free, thus taking that last chunk of money right out of the artists hands. Streaming video feeds of live music are already pretty popular. If they figured out a way to make that seem bigger and more exciting, it’s a wrap on anyone ever leaving their house again to see a show.
The only bright side to this is that, once all the money has been taken out of music, the only people making it will be people who legitimately love making music. So, in a way, so great music might come out of that. I’ll be broke as a motherfucker though…

G’day mates! Welcome to another thrilling edition of “Answers for questions”. This is where you, the reader, send me, the writer, questions. They can be about anything. Literally. If you’d like to be a part of the magic it’s as simple as emailing me a question (or questions) at phatfriendblog@gmail.com OR simply leave them in the comments below. Be weird, get interesting. It’s your time to shine, anonymously.
Anyway, Let’s see what we got this week.

Who do you think deserves a theoretical slap to the face more? Slow (able-bodied) walkers or people who don’t say thanks when you hold the door for them.

I would say the latter. While both these factions of people drive me crazy (this question is definitely crafted for me to rant and the writer knew it), at least slow walkers aren’t rude. They’re just oblivious. I feel like many slow walkers are just people from places where the pace of living is slower in general. Then, they come to NYC and dawdle their way down the streets like it’s one big street fair, forgetting that 90% of the people here are on the go with purpose. But, still, they’re not being assholes.
Now, the people who don’t say thank you when the door is held for them are dickheads. I’m not even a stickler for manners but , goddamnit, saying thanks to someone who did you a microscopic solid isn’t that hard. especially a stranger who has no reason to do anything for you whatsoever. Even a nod of acknowledgement is enough. Something. Anything. Otherwise, it comes off like you look towards that person as a lesser being. As if it’s their job to hold a door for you. But, even if it was their job, a thank you still would be applicable. Fuck those people.

If you were experiencing the apocalypse and could pick one rapper to try to survive with, who would you pick? What rapper do you think would have the best survival skills?
Then, what if you could pick 3?
You can split it into a few categories if you want(for example: Mainstream, Underground, West Coast, East Coast, Horrorcore etc. you don’t have to do all those, just ideas).

Jesus christ dude. The last person I’d pick to help me survive would be a rapper. I’d take a 7-11 worker over a rapper cause ,at least, they know how to use a mop and deal with people. I mean, if I had to, I’d obviously wanna pick rappers I know and like as people. People like Aesop, Billy Woods, Rob Sonic, Despot, etc…but, assuming picking friends is cheating, I’d try to find a rapper with survival skills. Are there any separatist rappers? Cause that would be ideal. Those dudes know how to hunt and are extremely self sufficient. I feel like there must be one former Anticon member/affilaite who has become a separatist by now. Maybe Bubba Sparxx? I pick that guy.
As for breaking this down into categories, can’t do it. Like I said, rappers are some of the last people you’ve ever wanna lean on to survive with. Musicians , in general, really. Do you know how fast you’d die in the apocalypse if you had to rely on me? Mad fast. Like seconds after I died, you’d die but only cause whatever was killing me got to me first.

Rant: WHY do (some) guys need to sit with their legs so far apart in public spaces. Guys, are your dick and balls really that big? No, no they are not – ever. It’s gross to look at but more importantly these guys presumptuously take up extra space from the women they’re sitting next to. I’m travelling via bus right now and I’m surprised at how much this irritates me as I’m usually easy going. Blockhead, are you an asshole who sits with his legs too far apart?

While some dudes definitely overdo it with the leg spread, I hate to break it to you but it’s WAY more comfortable to spread them cause, yes, we have balls. There’s a reason not many men sit cross legged (the way women sit cross legged, I mean). Cause it smashes our nuts together. So, if there is room, a dude will generally try and spread his legs a little bit. Sorry. It’s true though. Remember, our stuff is external. It takes up space in a very central area. It’s more extreme on a guy to guy basis but , sadly, it’s real.

Do you/have you ever played volleyball?
Yup. When I was in grade school, we played it in gym class. I actually liked it a lot. I had a really good serve and was tall for my age so I was one of the only people who could spike it.
Sadly, I never played again. actually…come to think of it. I did try some beach volleyball once and it was fun too but, man, jumping and running on sand is tiring like a motherfucker.

At what age do you think you were the biggest asshole? I’ll give you an age range from 10 years old-35 years old.

Oh, that’s easy. 18-22. Not that I was an actual asshole. I’ve actually always been friendly and non-confrontational but, those years? Man…there is no one more full or shit, full of themselves and pretentious than a typical college aged white kid. At that age, I knew everything, was blindly idealistic about the worst shit and was so far from figuring anything out it was painful. The older you get, the more comfortable you get in your own skin. People who are insecure will probably always be that way but you figure out a way to be okay with a lot of that type of stuff you feel when you’re that age. Basically, 18-22 year olds are like open nerves. You think everything you feel and say matters. It’s a great time cause , for most people, real life hasn’t started yet. It feels like you’re an adult but you’re not really there yet. It’s like the minor elagues of adulthood. Things slow down as you get older and, surprisingly, it’s kinda awesome. Still, getting really old looks like it sucks so don’t read this as me big upping aging in general. I’m expecting this all to cap out somewhere in the mid 40’s and it’s a steep downhill ride from there. The saying “youth is wasted on the young” exists for a reason. Cause it’s 100% true.

Who is the more sensitive crowd out of twitter users and instagram users?
You know, a few weeks ago, i might have said Twitter but I’ve had a change of heart. I can honestly say, of the social networks (facebook included), twitter people are surprisingly the best. I say this as someone who speaks to fans and shit like that. If i were gauging from just personal friends, all three of these sites would be equally fine. but I’m dealing with strangers which is a completely different ballgame.
For all the spell correcting dipshits and the occasional overly sensitive “outraged” people on twitter, they actually tend to take things in stride. They get the concept of “this is just a joke”. Instagram is actually good for that as well but it loses out to me cause of the ability to flag pictures. That’s some censorship bullshit that’s happened to me a few times and it’s more infuriating than any twitter comment. I wrote a whole thing about this actually
https://phatfriend.com/2014/05/28/stop-snitching-instagram-edition/
But, to answer your question for real, Facebook is the worst. I had no idea how many dumb, over reacting, humorless people there were in the world until I started a facebook music page. Holy shit. It’s leaps and bounds worse, in terms of sensitivity , than both twitter and instagram combined. Just truly a hell on earth , in terms of that kind of thing. It’s basically a slight step up from youtube comments but only cause it’s not anonymous. If people could post anonymously on facebook it would basically be a scene from “Idiocracy”.