Ask Dr. Tony Vol. 37

Hello there. It’s been a long time since the Doctor was in, but I’m back.
This is where you guys ask my advice on various topics. Life, love, and…other shit too. If You have something you need a second opinion on and don’t feel like asking your dumb ass friends, i’m your guy. Send questions to me at It’s always anonymous and I’m only here to help.
To be clear, I’m not a doctor on any real level and , while I stand by my advice, take it all with a grain of salt. Remember, I’m just some stranger that makes beats. why on earth would you listen to me?
Oh, by the way, is there anyone out there who’s question I’ve answered in bast volumes that would like to write in with an update on your situation? I’d love to hear them. It would be cool if you could tell me exactly what volume of “ask Dr. Tony” you were featured in but, even if you don’t do that, lemme know how your problems turned out. I got my money on lots of “I’m single now and…”
Let’s get into this weeks batch…
So I have a question..

Are most guys not into rough fucking? or am I just awful ?

Im 22 and I’m totally into some rough ass sex, biting, hair pulling, a little light choking (no grapefruits)haha I mean I don’t want a motherfucker to make me bleed or any shit like that but I definitely don’t mind a soar vagina or some fucking bite marks.

Whats the deal? Is it that some men are down and need there women to ask first?
or is this just some unrealistic expectation I’m having that dudes want to “murder vaginas” haha?


Most guys? I dunno about that but some guys certainly are to varying degrees. I think most guys won’t scoff as hair pulling. Biting may not be as widely accepted. Choking could go either way. I know dudes who like all these things. I also know dudes who want nothing to do with them. Personally, the biting and choking has never been my steeze. Partially cause, you know, I don’t like how it feels (giving or taking). Not to mention, there’s also a part of me that feels that girls who are REALLY into that shit are kinda damaged and that’s not something I’ve ever sought out. On the bright side, there are tons of guys who do seek out damaged girls. They’re mostly awful people but they definitely exist.
Now, Making an actual pussy sore is another subject all together. Pounding the shit out a girl is something I think most dudes can get on board with, within reason. Cause, in our mind, that’s super dominant and if you’re like “harder! Harder!” we can do that without feeling like a murderer. It plays into both our ego AND our natural instincts.

As for how you find out what every guys “thing” is, i’m afraid it’s one of those things you gotta work up toward. Get comfortable with a dude sexually and then, slowly, start introducing these things into the act. The last thing you should do is put a guys dick in your for the first time then immediately stark choking and biting him. All this needs to be worked up to. It should be noted that some dudes only need a little hint and they’ll go full force into this shit. It should also be noted that, by opening this pandora’s box you might end up exposing some dudes true fetishes , which may be completely horrifying. Like, you came for some light slapping but, a week later he’s fucking your toes and asking you to step on his nutsack with your heels. It’s all relative.
But, really, my advice would be to seek out dudes with tons of tattoos and body modification. I bet they’re all about the kinda sex you’re looking for.

I’m a 20 year old female, graduated 3 years ago, since then I haven’t done shit with my life if we’re being honest. I tried community college last year, took random classes, it wasn’t that bad but it wasn’t great either so I stopped going. I’ve never had a real job until recently. I now work in the fields with my brother. I suffer from depression, was seeing a therapist for a while but ever since I started working it’s sorta fucked off for the moment. But I know once the season is over and I stop working I know ima go back to feeling shitty. I’ve sorta been thinking about the future a lot..what am I gonna do next after working in the fields. I literally have no idea what I wanna study, or be, or whatever.. and obviously I don’t wanna work in the fields forever. Being lost SUCKS dude. Any tips, ideas, advice on what I should try to do next? I know you’re not some god and have the answers for me but your opinion would be appreciated.

I can actually relate to this question pretty deeply as I was once just like you. I dropped out of college after one year, moved back to NYC and had no fucking idea what I was gonna do. So, I took bullshit jobs and that was that. My game plan was “just work and see what happens” That said, I did have a deep passion for music. So, on the side, I did that while I worked. I never thought the music thing would become a reality though so I kinda was just floating through life waiting for something to grab me. It sounds to me that you’re in a similar situation so I ask you, is there anything you’re passionate about? Do you like doing anything in particular? Are you good at anything?
If your answer is “weed” then that may be part of the problem but even that can turn into something more. Especially with it becoming legal all over. Who knows, you could get in on one of the thousands of week stores and work there. No more field work!
The thing is, 20 is so fucking young. I still have friends who are in their mid 30’s that seem unsure of what they are gonna do with their lives. I shouldn’t tell you this but I’d say you have a nice 5 year window left of years where you can truly not do shit and just fuck off. Work their fields, smoke weed every day. Whatever. I don’t recommend it but, let’s be honest, your life is only as urgent at your options. If you still have a place to stay and can still feed yourself, that’s really on you. Terrible advice, huh? It really is but I’m not gonna blow smoke up your ass and tell you some dream job is just gonna fall in your lap. In general, that shit doesn’t just happen.
So, I give you a few options.
1)Keep working those fields with no ambition outside of that.
2)Keep working those fields but figure out something you enjoy doing and focus a ton of your off time on somehow making that a part of your life. Even if it means working the fields and doing that thing for free on your off time. At least it’s a start.
3)Quit the fields and think of a job (that you’re somehow qualified for) that you may not love, but you can tolerate. Seek out such a job or go to school to learn about that job so, somewhere down the line you can get that job.
I understand feeling hopeless at age 20 but, eventually, you gotta push that to the side and realize that “Shit, this is life…I gotta handle my existence”. It may not be exactly what you want but, sadly, that’s the reality of most people. Not everyone is living the dream. Most people simply get by. There’s no shame if you end up like one of those people cause, in reality, none of us are that special.

Without going into a long drawn out story, is it ever okay to sleep with a good friend’s ex-girlfriend. They dated for quite a while (5+ years?) then broke up, I remained friends with both of them. I think I can fuck her, but probably wouldn’t be able to look my buddy in the eye again, even if he never found out. Scumbag move? P.S.- She’s hot as fuck. Thanks doc!

It’s funny cause , so often, these questions are long and drawn out for no reason but, in this case, you kept it short. Sadly, this is a situation where a long drawn out story might have helped.
I think it depends on your buddy. Would he be cool with it? Is he in a new relationship?
I’ve done this before and it was definitely a dick move on my part but the friendship persevered. I actually had a friend who used to use me as a means to get rid of ex-girlfriends who wouldn’t leave him alone. Like, he’d hook them up with me so , when they’d be all up on his shit, he could be like “nah, you fucked my friend…we’re over”. Pretty fucked up, looking back on it but , whatever, I’m not complaining.
But back to the question at hand, these situations are generally pretty delicate. Like i said, if your friend is in a new serious relationship, he really can’t tell you shit. It was 5 years ago. The only downside of that is if he’s secretly still in love with her.
I should also add that , if you do start hooking up with her, you can’t be bringing her around socially. That’s one of the biggest problems with things like this. I’d imagine, even if your friend is okay with you and her hooking up. he definitely doesn’t wanna see her all the time socially. Especially if she’s making out with you at the end of the bar.
When it comes down to it, this questions is all about specific details that you didn’t give, so I can’t give you a real answer but, that said, use your common sense. Only go through with this if you know it’s not gonna fuck up your friendship with your homeboy. Hell, ask him directly. He might say “uh..sure, i guess so” (which means “Jesus christ, I really wish you wouldn’t”), in which case, don’t do it. But if he seems cool with it, let’er rip.

7 thoughts on “Ask Dr. Tony Vol. 37

  1. I also had a similar experience as the girl in the second question 5-3 years ago (was about the same age). Felt pretty numb in that period, I’ve always been indifferent towards most stuff but at that time it felt like I was butter being stretched out on a loaf of bread too much and like I was experiencing everything in 3rd person (if that makes any sense). In hindsight I think the biggest problem was my self esteem being shattered and feeling alone.
    What, I think, got me back on track was I started studying something completely different out of cheer interest, not really thinking about what job I would be able to get with this later. This might turn out to be a bad decision in the future BUT I met some people there with the same ideas and perspectives that also didn’t really give a fuck and listened to the same music (whereas before the classrooms were littered with ambitious pricks that were going to save the world). Never really connected thàt well with people, neither where I grew up. On top of that the work load of my new study was like 1/3 of the one before which left more room for just chilling and yes… weed (but that was just an extra, never overdid it).
    I feel like the idea is that after high school you just have to have it all figured out. Truth is, you don’t. Most people are just winging it. Just do what you want, when you’re ready for it, fuck it, some people still start a college education when they’re 30+. Although I would highly recommend working in a place where you have co-workers or something, like a bar or a restaurant. I think social interaction is a big part of not feeling lost, and I’m rather introverted. Also I don’t think I would’ve enjoyed working with family members at the time, since I didn’t feel good about myself and thought they thought I failed and just pitied me.

  2. Fukin yo frenz ex:
    One thing you gotta consider is the fak she might be usin you to make him jealous. Like I knew this one girl she started hittin me up in a major way after her and my homeboy broke up and I was like fuk it Imma try. Turns out every place we go out to, his a$$ was always there that night coincidentally and she would be all up on me while he watchin. Motherfucker like me I don’t mind being used like dat I take it any way I can. I don’t get that many chances. But if you go down that road, you shouldnt introduce any of your gfs to those frendz so theres no chance of retaliation.

  3. Oh damn, you misunderstood the last question a bit (I think). I’m pretty sure the guy meant that his friend and this girl had gone out for 5 years, not that it’s been 5 years since they broke up.

    • You may be right about that. Well, then, that changes things greatly. the amount of time that has passed since the break up (regardless of relationship length) is crucial. Swooping in right after a break up is never okay, unless the dude specifically wants you too (like hat happened with me a few times).

  4. Unrelated to dr. tony. Just wanted to tell you something Blockhead, it happened to me! A mom just gave me the scowliest side-eye for crossing the street on a red light and not adhering to the lesson she was giving her child about road safety. (didnt you write a post about kids a long time ago?)

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