Answers for Questions vol. 200


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Wow. 200 of these. How? why? It amazes me you people still send me questions and for that, I’m grateful. If you’d like keep this party going, send me your questions to phatfriendblog@gmail.com or leave them in the comment section below. Get weird. Get creative. This is for entertainment so a boring question isn’t helping anyone.
Also, this might be a good time to thank everyone who has submitted a question over the years. Without you, I’d be doing a little less with my monday mornings and for that, I want you to know you’re appreciated.
Anyway, let’s get into this weeks batch.

views on public crotch scratching?

Listen, sometimes a person has an itch that needs to be scratched. I think protocol for doing it in public is to be as quick and nonchalant as possible. You can’t be digging around in your underwear for too long before it starts looking like something else. It’s similar to scratching/picking your nose. If you do it too long , with too much zeal, people are gonna think you’re picking instead of scratching.
Personally, when i have an itchy crotch, I do my best to just knock it out with one movement and I try to make it look like an adjustment, rather than a full on scratch. Ideally, I’m just trying to not be that guy on the train with his arm down his pants to his elbow, vigorously “scratching”. Pretty sure you can get a ticket for that. In fact, depending on who’s sitting near you when you do it, you might get put on a list and have to tell everyone in your neighbor hood about how you can’t go within 50 feet of schools. Not a good look.

So what’s the best way to get in contact with talented producers and find the right beats? I need real good production and not “youtube-beats”. Do you have any advice when it comes to searching for the perfect sounds fitting my concept and where to look/get in touch with people? I don’t mind spending money if it means I’ll get the real deal.

I really don’t know. I’ve never needed beats. I’d imagine soundcloud would be a great place to find talented people willing to working with strangers. If you’re speaking on more established people, you probably will have to go through their management. That’s how I’ve always done it. A great way to get ignored is to hit up established artists via twitter or facebook. Pretty sure that’s worked maybe .0000293281% of the time so ,if i were you, I’d skip that.
You know what might me a good way to do it? Go through my old demo reviews and look for a guy who makes stuff that fits your interests. Hit him up and take it from there. I see that working way better than just seeking out some guy you’re a fan of and over paying for his throwaway tracks. You gotta find a person who’s at the same level as you and who has the same hunger. Preferably, someone willing to work with you for free cause neither of you have anything to lose.

If you were in a different position and had to make ends meet, which of the following nyc jobs would be the least appealing to you:

A) Telemarketer
B) Weed Delivery Guy
C) Sidewalk Petitioner (many ppl think that they’re volunteers, but I’m quite certain they’re paid)

C by a landslide. Not only is that humiliating work, those people are some of the most annoying people on earth. Not only are they relentless but they are smug and they also use guilt to force your hand. Like , I’ll be walking down the street , going to get my lunch, and they’ll be like “Do you support gay rights?!” Well…yeah…of course…but I just wanna go get my lunch. I don’t wanna be on a mailing list and i don’t wanna donate money to a stranger on the street cause he has a clipboard. But if you say “nah”, you look like an asshole. They also sometimes do that thing where they’ll walk up to you and shake you hand like they know you. That’s the worst for me cause I often forget that I’ve met people (especially at shows and stuff like that) and I end up wracking my brain trying to remember who this person is. Turns out they’re a total stranger who’s way too comfortable with his job of annoying people. There are literally dozens of streets near where I live that I no longer walk down during the day specifically to avoid dealing with these people.
Side note, aside from the danger of being arrested, being a weed delivery guy seems like it might be kinda fun.

I was wondering what equipment you listen to music on? I consider myself an audiophile and without my high end headphones I could not explore and enjoy all of the subtle nuances in your music and others’ music. What are your thoughts on sound quality in general?
I’m not an audiophile at all. Not even close. I listen to music on some decent bose speakers and my Ipod headphones are some bullshit sony ear buds. I feel as though, coming up in an era where a lot of what i listened to was third generation cassette re-recordings off of radio shows set the bar pretty low. I love a good sound system but I don’t generally listen to music that loud anyway. The only team it really matters is when I’m mixing something of mine, but other than that, I’m pretty lo-fi in general.

What is you male take on some recent women’s fashion trends? Specifically: high-waisted shorts and maxi (floor length) dresses and skirts. I’m in my early 20s but I can’t get down with wearing either of these, even though they are popular among my peer group. When I wear either, I feel way too much like my mom in the 90s. I don’t think either are particularly flattering either, I swear I’ve never met a guy who likes those high shorts haha. What do you think?
To add to that also: What has been your favorite and least favorite fashion trend(s) over the years. For men or women. And, yes, I understand this is probably coming from a dude who isn’t big into fashion and your opinions on women’s clothing are probably whatever is the most “sexy” or “attractive”.
Like all men, I’m not a fan of the high waisted shorts/pants/jeans. It’s as if you ladies sought out the least flattering style of pants and all agreed to make it a thing. Not only do they make even a fit girl look like she has a slight gunt, they also ruin perfectly good asses. It really boggles my mind that any girl would want to look like that.
The maxi dress thing is new to me. I’m not even clear what it is but , in general, if I see a girl with a skirt down to the floor, I assume she’s an orthodox jew or something. That said, those don’t bother me as much cause, honestly, I don’t see them as often as the high waisted pants craze.
Take this all with a grain of salt though cause I’m a guy who truly misses the low rise jean era so, clearly, my fashion sense isn’t ruled by class. I realize how corny those pants were but, goddamn, they were the most boner inducing pants prior to girls who wear leggings and nothing else.
As favorite fashion things…girls in leggings/yoga pants are my #1. Sorry. I know that’s like being a yankee fan not from NY but it is what it is. Male fashion? I don’t fucking know. I’m a middle of the road, never wear anything flashy kinda guy. so I’m a fan of anything that isn’t “extra”. I like plain shit for men. I think when men try too hard with fashion, they look like assholes. “caring” in general, if respect to male fashion, is not a good look in my opinion.
Least favorite fashion things…I already got into the high waisted pants thing but another thing girls have embraced recently are some raggedy ass huckleberry fin jeans. Like dumpy jeans with holes in the knees. It’s like the new sweat pants of something. Well, it looks like shit and might as well be a potato sack. Not a fan of that. You’d look better in male dockers. As for guys, anything flashy is wack to me. The super skinny jean craze has passed, and that’s a relief cause that was truly awful for everyone involved. I don’t even wanna be able to see a dude dickhead print in public. and , of course, any open toed shoe on a man in any urban setting is completely unacceptable.

A year from now I should be spending a couple months in Brooklyn Heights. With you being such a NYC aficionado, I’d figured I’d ask you. Do you have any experience with the area? Anything I should be sure to check out? Anything I should stay away from? Also, as clique as it is, any tips to not stick out like a sore thumb (as a non-New Yorker)? Any other parts of the city, not to far from that part, that are must-see? Sorry, I know you are looking for more weird, interesting, out-there questions but I’m curious.

I honestly haven’t been to brooklyn heights since high school. It’s a quiet and very wealthy neighborhood. Probably one of the “nicest” hoods in all of Brooklyn. I’d guess there is tons of good food there but, like I said, I haven’t been there in over 15 years. Just know it’s safe and being an out of towner won’t stick out much there. I’d imagine, at this point, it’s pretty much all wealthy professionals who have kids and have lived in NYC for less than 10 years. You’ll fit right in.
To be honest, I am not a Brooklyn aficionado on any level. I’m familiar with , like, 3 areas and that’s it. If you got Manhattan questions, I’m your guy. But Brooklyn is a place I’ll still get lost in if I get off on the wrong side of the train.

11 thoughts on “Answers for Questions vol. 200

  1. Hey Block,

    I’ll try a little harder this time man.

    1. How do you usually deal with an average A-hole on the streets of New York who says something that makes you want to punch, but you don’t? I know you don’t. It’s you.

    2. Since you don’t drive, or drive much, do you ride a bicycle? If so, how is that in the crazy busy streets of New York?

    3. I’ve read a little in the past, but forget. What is your approach to a lady you’re really interseted in? This is most likely the past for you anyhow.

    4. If New York broke out with the start of the Zombie Apocalypse, where would you go? How would you react?

    That’s it for now. Thanks.

  2. I think looking for beats is a lazy question for this era considering 300 million of the 355 million people in American are trying to be rappers or rap producers or folky bluegrass hipsters.

    for to internets bro

  3. How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

    Would you rather be pregnant with a child or randomly soil your pants once a week for the rest of your life? Oh and you can put the kid up for adoption if you want

  4. Volume 200, eh? If I do the math, that’s a whole lotta questions. But a lot of them have to be repetitive or similar in theme. How many “archetypes” of questions could you categorize, that you’ve been asked over and over again?

  5. Since you don’t listen to instrumental hip hop, where do you find the inspiration when creating your own music? Are there certain producers or albums you listen to? If so, who are they? Is there a specific zone your looking to get into as well, or maybe doing things like walking around your neighborhood late at night listening to music, maybe going to certain clubs/bars at 3:00am and trying to capture that vibe?

  6. How would you react if someone came to the front of the stage during one of you sets, then dropped their pants and just started jerking off furiously?

  7. Do you have a fave bodega? What classifies as a “great” bodega and what classifies as a “terrible” one?

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