Answers for Questions vol. 204

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Hi there, I’m here reporting live from a raddison hotel in Fresno California. It’s about 289 degrees outside so I’m pretty psyched to be here. Also, shout out to all the people who have come to see my shows. San Diego, L.A. and S.F…you guys kicked ass. I hit colorado later this week , as well as Austin. Check the dates on my Facebook page is you live in either of those places.
Anyway, this is another edition of “Answers for questions”. You ask, I answer. If you’d like to be a part of this, please, send me questions. Either email them to me at phatfriendblog@gmail.com or leave them in the comments below. I accept both with open arms. Let’s dig into this weeks batch.

What’s your stance on music piracy.  More specifically what if someone downloaded all your music, but then still went to see you live?  Would you consider that bad form either way or is it something that doesn’t really bother you.  I’ve heard touring makes the most money so I was curious.

I think it’s safe to say most artists who are from my era feel the same way about piracy. We don’t like it but there’s also nothing we can really do about it. We were around during a time when record sales actually mattered (and paid bills for us personally) so the jump into a an era where that’s pretty much impossible for any artist not on the radio, is a bummer. That said, it’s the times we live in and sitting around complaining about it is pretty futile. Acceptance is unavoidable if you want to continue with making music.
Because of that reality, musicians have to bank on touring as a means to get paid. It’s just par for the course. I can honestly say that if I made enough money off music to not tour, I probably wouldn’t do it much. Simply cause I hate traveling and I’m super content just being home all the time. But , I don’t so I tour and it’s totally fine.
As for the second part of the question, coming to my shows is exactly what I want people who steal my music to do. It’s literally one of the only benefits of people pirating your shit. I’ve had people come up to me at shows and had me $40 like “hey man, I stole all your music so heres some money for that”. While that’s is kind aver the top and unnecessary , it is pretty cool of them. But, yeah, coming to the shows makes a difference for sure. Let’s be honest, for an artist like me, an album is pretty much promotional material for my live show. It’s backwards and crazy that that is how it is now but , hey, fuck it…that’s the world we’ve created.

what’s the most ignorant and belligerent you’ve ever gotten? i hesitate to use the word gangster bc it implies violent crime… but what’s the most gangster shit you’ve ever done? where you really abandoned any pretense of giving a fuck and got straight disrespectful. or straight gutter if it went that far. i’m mild-mannered, but i’ve surprised myself a time or two w the shit i’ve done. so it’s always fascinating to see other mild-mannered ppl break character, right or wrong.

Sadly (or thankfully, depending how you look at it) I’m a very careful person. I always have been. I’m not reckless at all and think about consequences for all my actions. Because of this, I haven’t done a ton of bad shit. Off the top, I’m drawing a blank of anything that would even begin to classify as gangster. I suppose there was that time I was with a friend in connecticuit at his family’s country house and we went around the neighborhood breaking into peoples houses and eating food from the fridge’s then bouncing. But I was more just following my friend. Trust that I was having a panic attack the entire time.
There was another time in high school where i got so drunk at a party (It was actually at Uma Thurman’s little brothers house) that I vomited out of a window, looked down and realized I just puked all over a parked police car. Luckily, they weren’t inside it though.
Also there are all those times I murdered people. Can’t forget about those but, you know, whatever. Shit happens.

You’re a musician who makes a living creating and performing his work. Even though you’re not über famous or rich, you seem to have a loyal fan base, you do things your own way, and you’ve been at it for years; I think that’s a pretty objective metric for success. However, I’m curious, how do you view your own career? Do you see yourself as being successful?

I’m pretty happy with where I’m at and what I’ve done. Sure, being wealthier and more stable would be nice but I actually like my level of notoriety. I can go anywhere and no one knows who I am. My “fame” doesn’t infringe on my day to day life and that’s ideal. The majority of people I meet in real life have no clue what I do. Hell, a lot of my close friends have never even heard ante of music I’ve made and that’s pretty cool to me.
The bottom line is that I get to make money doing something that’s fun. That in itself is a victory. The only downside is the longevity. Who knows where I’ll be with this in five years and how long can a guy really make the kinda music I do? Aside from those fears, it’s awesome though.
Keep i mind, I’m writing this from a hotel in Fresno right now.

These following questions really means well but it is a shit storm of cliched questions i’ve been answering since the early 2000’s. So I’mma breeze through them speed round style.

How are ya, man?
Fine. My allergies are acting up but life will go on.
What are some of your biggest influences in life?
Satan, mostly.

How did you become such a down to earth, funny, caring, and simply being yourself?
I’d guess my mom raised me right? Also, being an emotionless robot actually makes a person come off as fairly humble and good natured.
Who are some of your biggest influences and why? How are or were they as people.
You asked this one already…like two seconds ago. What’s the better with you, bro?
What’s your favorite candy if you like candy?
I like gummy bears. But I also like chocolate stuff. Skor bars are very underrated.
How often if ever do you smoke weed anymore? I know you don’t get along with it and I recently found out the same.
I never smoke weed.
Where do you like to travel most and why?
San Francisco. I got family there and , in general, I like the vibe. It’s the city I’ve spent the most time in outside of NYC by a landslide.
How many records do you go through
on average for a 3 minute beat?

I listen to tons of records cause it’s all trial and error but I’d say I use at least 7 or 8 different samples on every beat I make.

Have you seen Bobbito García’s “Doin’ It In The Park”? …any thoughts on it?

In addition, Do you have any favourite films/documentaries about basketball?

I have and I enjoyed it. I dunno if it’s actually good or not but the topic is so near a dear to my heart that it’s impossible for me to not be into it.
As for basketball movies, Hoop dreams is obviously the GOAT. But “Soul in the hole” was good too. The ESPN 30 for 30 about the pistons is excellent. I could watch that kinda shit forever.
For non-documentaries, my standards are incredibly low. I’ll watch most movies if they have even slightly realistic basketball in them. For example, I’ve seen Coach Carter probably 40 times. I’m also willing to be I’ve watched “Finding forrester” more than anyone else on earth. It just be like that sometimes, I guess.

my question is what message are you sending with your blog banner of the fat girl with her skinny friends

fat people suck? fat people deserve pity.

i’ve been a fan of yours for 15+ yrs, but dude, that image pisses me off

Yeah dude (or ma’am), my message is that fat people suck. Obviously. What are you talking about? My blog is called “Phat friend”. That’s a picture of a bunch of friends, and one of them is fat (phat). Is it mean? I guess you could see it that way. But it’s not a statement on fat people. It’s just a picture I thought was funny and went well with my blog title. Would it make you happier if I photoshopped my face on her? If i knew how to do that, I’d do it in a second. Cause it would be hilarious X10.
Basically, if this kinda thing pisses you off enough to make a stink about it, you are either too easily pissed off to read this kind of blog/website or bored. I can’t control what offends other people. if this bothers you, that’s unfortunate but , like all things on this blog, it’s not that serious. In fact, that picture is probably the least serious thing on the entire site. It’s a joke. JOKES. Picking you battles is very underrated and I think, in general,people on the internet would be much happier if they didn’t let outrage over something as pointless as the banner pic on my dumb ass blog effect them in any way.
Side note,
I have no issues with fat people and plan to be one in the near future.

Fuck/Marry/Kill vol. 38

Gold Silver Bronze

Hi there! This is exactly what it looks like. A simple game of Fuck/marry/kill. As always, i am forced to preface this column with a reminder that it’s not that serious. It’s shits and giggles. I’m not here to belittle the female sex. The only reason I don’t throw men in the pot is cause I don’t want to fuck them all equally. Except Clive owen. He’s the man.
Anyway, These are all reader submitted options. If you’d like to give me some ideas, feel free to leave them in the comment section below.

Fuck/Marry/Kill, the body-mod edition: a girl with (huge) ear gauges/ a girl with a pierced corset / a girl with a (permanent) grill

Marry: Permanent Grill
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This is a tough one cause I’m really not into any of these things on any level. But, of the three, I find the grill the least gross so it wins strictly based of that. It would be no different than marrying a girl with adult braces except the added embarrassment of having that “Yeah, my wife had a permanent gold grill…” conversation over and over again. Physically, it doesn’t irk me. It’s just I feel as though a person who makes this life commitment is a cornball and that might wear me down. But, whatever, it’s better than a person who creates an open anus on their ears or whatever the fuck that corset thing is.

Kill: Pierced Corset
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I’m a squeamish guy when it comes to certain things. While I probably wouldn’t flinch at seeing a person punched in the face of hit by a car, seeing things happen to skin grosses me the fuck out. Seeing skin pulled like how that picture above shows it, makes my balls feel funny and it’s simply not something I can look at for very long. I recall playing a show once where they had people hanging from the ceiling but their skin via hooks and I almost barfed every time I walked by it. This would be a no go for me on every level. I simply don’t have the stomach for it. Also, what’s wrong with you, girl? Take those fish hooks out your back! Call your father!
I’m simply not about that fetish life. At all. Ol’ meat and potatoes ass dude.

Fuck: Huge Ear Gauges
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Let me first clarify, I fucking hate these things. I hate how they look. I hate how I imagine they smell (buttholes). The bigger they are, the worse. I legit have been turned off by them before to the point where I’ve seen an insanely hot girl with them and it was like she might as well have been a man to me. Look at the girl above. Perfectly cute. But, those things kill it. So, if anything, this is more of a statement of how gross that pierced corset thing is to me. But, i suppose, I’d have to fuck the huge ear gauge girl. Not in her ear gauges. Holy shit…that would be insane. i wonder if people do that? You know what? I’d bet my life that there are people out there who fuck the holes in other peoples ears. I mean, if there are dudes making love to each others peeholes (look it up if you wanna truly ruin your day), surely a handful of people have boned the huge hole in another persons ear. Barf.

F/M/K:soy sauce – mayonnaise – hot sauce

Marry: Mayonnaise
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Fuck yallllllll! I love Mayo and I don’t care what you think. If the food is savory, it will generally work with mayo (obviously there are exceptions). It’s creamy, tangy and , back when I was a single man living alone, literally the only thing in my fridge.
My love of mayo is probably the whitest thing about me , outside of my skin color. Some people love ketchup. Some love mustard. Fuck that noise though…I ride for mayo. I wanna make songs about Mayo the way Jay-z did about Beyonce. It’s that real.

Fuck:Soy Sauce
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The thing about soy sauce is that it’s very specific. It only goes with very certain foods. but, when it works, it’s the perfect sauce. I’m a guy who loves me some salty things so , you throw some asian food in front of me and I’m dumping soy sauce on it like it’s on fire. Hell, when I was kid my mom used to buy bricks of tofu (I lived in one of those healthy households that never had sugary cereals). I would take the entire brick of that flavorless shit, dump soy sauce on it and eat it like it was a steak And, you know what? I’d do it to this day.
But, like I said, soy sauce is not an everyday thing. So, I fuck it. It’d be some good , salty brown sex though.

Kill: Hot sauce
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This one will very likely go down as my least popular choice in the history of fuck/marry/kill. I know how seriously people take their hot sauce. I know how much some people hate Mayo too. But, alas, this is my show and I get to make the choices. Straight up, i don’t give a shit about hot sauce. When I do use it, I tend to lean heavily toward the least hot ones possible. I love me some vineger-y shit but I’m not a fan of eating food that hurts. That burning you guys like so much? Nah, B. It doesn’t add flavor for me. It just makes eating food slightly uncomfortable. I do like when my sinus’ get cleared but, in general, if I have a choice to eat anything spicy or anything mild, I go mild every time. I prefer medium spice but I’ll take mild over something that makes me feel like I need to drink a glass of milk. I realize there are endless types of hot sauce and I actually do like it at times…but, in general, thats at the bottom of the list for me as condiments I crave. Sorry to everyone on earth cause I realize how much you disagree with me.

Fuck/Marry/Kill: Lisa Bonet, Kristen Wiig ,Winona Ryder

Kill: Kristen Wiig
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You know, this is the second time I’ve killed Wiig in this game and it really bums me out. She’s awesome. She’s hilarious and likable. It’s just…I don’t find her attractive. Thing is, she’s not unattractive at all. It’s just a personal preference I have. She’s kinda like a muppet. A hot muppet…but a muppet none the less. It also doesn’t help that her competition are two of my all time favorites from my youth. I swear, one of these days, I will marry her hypothetically…now is simply not that time.

Fuck:Lisa Bonet
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In her prime, possibly one of the best faces ever. Soooooo fucking pretty. She’s getting along in years a this point but she’s still beautiful. But, more than that, this would be a childhood dream realized. As someone who grew up watching the Cosby Show, she was always the one. Rudy was a kid, Vanessa was…Vanessa. And sandra was old and boring. But Denise? Gaddamn. She even was hip and hung out in the village. In fact, it would be safe to say she was way too cool for me but still…all the more reason. You also have to factor in that she was married to Lenny Kravitz. She must have some magic going on to keep him faithful for however many years that was.

Marry: Winona Ryder
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She must be in her late 40’s right now and pretty much looks exactly the same as she did 20 years ago. She’s is a freak of nature in the white woman aging game. Her and Marisa Tomei.
She’s been a favorite of mine for decades now and , honestly, one of the women of my youth that, to this day, is the blueprint of “my type”.
Cute faced Brown haired girls (though she’s a little paler than my favorite type) with curves who are kinda short. That’s my wheelhouse right there. And she’s 100% one of the reasons for that. Shout out to Pheobe Cates though.
So yeah, this is a simple choice for me.

Fuck/Marry/Kill:advice from Dr. Phil / advice from Dr. Drew / advice from Dr. Oz

Marry: Advice from Dr. Drew
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This is a no brainer. I know people hate on Dr. Drew and shit on him for exploiting famous drug addicts but I’ve listened to enough Lovelines to know that he’s not a dumb man. He’s reasonable and actually knows what he’s talking about. He’s a guy who I think actually cares. Sure, he may spread himself thin but that doesn’t take away that he’s been doing this kinda shit for real for around 30 years. I’m pretty sure the other two dipshits offered up cannot say the same thing. Also, my girl is obsessed with him so she’d probably be pretty psyched if I married his advice.

Fuck:Advice from Dr. Oz
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I really don’t know shit about Dr. Oz except that he’s not Dr. Phil and his smile is mad creepy. I know Oz recently cause caught out there for pushing some faulty diet pills (or something like that) but we’re talking advice here. i don’t even know if he’s a real doctor. Maybe he’s just a good listener who failed upwards. Whatever the case is, the level of advice I’d take from him might range from “Hey, is this milk still good?” to “I dunno, do you think it’s too late to order a pizza?”. The last thing I’d ever do is ask some hyper smiley plastic faced man for advice about anything remotely important.
Side note, asking for advice with matters of the heart is bullshit. Not only cause no one ever takes advice but cause we are all our own people with our own nuances. It’s never black and white. It amazes me that we live in a world where “advice” is such a notable thing cause , really, when’s the last time you really took some life advice? Not often, bro. Not often.

Kill: Advice from Dr. Phil
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I feel as though Dr. Phil is a doctor like I’m a doctor. “Ask dr. Tony” is as viable a source of info as anything Dr. Phil has ever put out there. Actually, i might argue my advice is better cause i will never bring god into it and I’m a reasonable person. Dr. Phil is some weird southern snake oil salesman who , I think, gets by cause he looks and sounds trustworthy to stupid people. I dunno…I look at him and see a lonely power bottom waiting for last call at a gay bar but, I suppose, in places where that kinda guy doesn’t
exist, he looks like the smartest guy in your town. Thank god I’m not from that town. I prefer power bottom Phil greatly.

Yay or Nay: The 100s

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Typically, these “Yay or Nay” columns revolve around newer acts but this week I wanted to try something a little different. Here we have the 100s. A bay area rapper who has been around for a while. I’m more getting a “lay of the land” by asking you what you think of him. He’s definitely not for everyone. He’s basically on some straight up pimp shit. His music will not make you think. It will not make you a better person. It does, however, make me kinda wish I could be in california right now , smoking weed (And I don’t even smoke weed). It’s heavy on the funk (particularly the Zapp/roger troutman type) and smooth as fuck. Honestly, liking this stuff really challenges my inner new yorker but this is just some fun music to vibe out to.
So, what do you think? Check out some videos. I have a feeling this is one of those “I love it or I hate it” kinda situations. One thing is for sure, he’s got the best head of hair in the game.


So, what do you think?

Answers for questions vol. 203

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Hey there. Welcome to my monday morning ritual, “Answers for questions”. This is where you send me questions and I answer them. Duh. Some are strange, some are more straight forward. I take them all. If you’d like to join the fun, write me questions and send them to phatffriendblog@gmail.com or leave them in the comment section below.
Side note, I’m hitting the road with Elaquent, Yppah , Muneshine and Lost Midas starting this wednesday. If you live in the US (or vancouver) peep these dates and come see us:
https://phatfriend.com/2014/06/17/my-fall-tour-dates-are-here/.
This also means that my output of this blog may be a bit spotty. I’ll try my best but , you know, shit happens. See you on the road and let’s peep this weeks quesitons.

How would you define and categorize an internet troll? Specifically, what exactly is a troll and how many different kinds of trolls are out there?

(as in, this comment section seems like one example and then there is the catfishing type of troll, which I think is a different type, but I’m sure there are others…)

I feel as though there are many different types of internet trolls. Too many to really wrap my brain around, actually. But , off the top, we got
1)The contrarian
This is a person who exists online to just disagree with everyone and argue about it.
They’re the people who , when you say anything based on opinion online (could be “Man, don’t you hate nazis!”) will find a way to disagree. In real life, they are also terrible people who hate themselves.
2)The character
This is the person who plays someone else online. And, shocker, that person is an asshole. I’m willing to bet , offline, some of these people are not even terrible but, online, they pretty much just like to push buttons for their own amusement. This type is fascinating cause it’s such a personal, masturbatory thing.
3)The focused troll
This is a person who pinpoints a person or website and makes it their life goal to just fuck with them. It could be a celebrity on twitter or simply the comment section of a website.
4)The bully
I’d say these are the most dangerous. They do typical bully shit but, if they also have some internet know how, they can ruin a motherfuckers life. They might relentlessly harass someone, then break into their private life and expose it for no reason. These people are terrifying.
5)nitpickers
If hyper judgmental moms were on twitter, they’d be these guys. They correct spelling. They correct typos. They just seem to get off on being smug about shit that doesn’t matter. They fucking suck.

Every type of internet troll is a loser. Across the board. Some are way worse than others but the binding force is that they enjoy fucking peoples days up for their own enjoyment with no sense of empathy. So, in a way, the one common thing that connects them is that they’re all a kinda sociopaths…on some level. But, most of all, they are bored losers.

On a scale from 1-11, how much do you enjoy a good shit?

Sigh. This question. You know, there are many questions I have been asked repeatedly over the years of doing this column. The most asked questions are probably “What is your biggest influence?” and “Where did the name “blockhead” come from. but third? This dumb ass question. It’s not really funny and offers no room to be funny. Yes, I love a good shit! How crazy is that?!? I’d rate a 12 if I could, AMIRITE?!?! Poop!
I realize this blog has the maturity level of a 4th grade locker room sometimes but the amount of shit related questions I get is concerning. For all parties involved, myself included.
That said, shitting is awesome and I’d give a good shit a strong 9 out of 11.

Why does the US have so many lawyers???
Probably cause it’s a high paying job and people want to make money. Also, there are a lot of scum bags in the world and when you can’t work on wall street cause you’re bad at math but you still are really good at arguing, being a lawyer makes all the sense in the world. If you think about it, we’re a country of blow hards who won’t ever just shut up so getting into law is only natural for those who can afford the school.

What are some telltale signs that make you aware that a girl is flirting with you?
Laughing at everything you say. Touching your arm when she doesn’t need to. Staring at you too long and often. Fellating you mid conversation while at a dinner party. Deep throating foods while making intense eye contact with you. Asking you if you’d like to go to the bathroom with her. Talking super close to you , to the point where your ear is in her mouth when she speaks.
Any of those things, really.

Block, do you have any friends that you think could really enjoy hip hop if they gave it a chance? How do you go about introducing people to new music? I know from experience that playing it to them at parties is just about the worst way.

I’m much closer to 40 than I am to 30, so my friends musical tastes are pretty etched in stone. That said, I don’t know many people who don’t listen to any hip hop ever. The thing is, no one my age gives a shit. I keep an ear out for new music but I also work in music. For people who don’t, past a certain age, it’s not a priority. Not even close. If I have a friend who’s curious about the new shit I like, I’ll make them a playlist or something but that rarely happens. In general, in regards to putting people on to music, I’ve always been a “you come to me and I’ll play you some shit” kinda guy. Pushing my taste on people has never been my style. I never wanna be that guy who corners people and forces them to listen to what they’re liking. I’ve been in that situation many times and it’s got a very low success rate.

Why is it that you and whoever your partner is choose to name your collaboration albums after whatever both your names are (Blockhead and MarQ Spekt, for example)? Have you ever thought about giving the duo a name?
In my mind, it’s not my album. It’s the rappers album. I just produced it. If we’re a group, then sure. But in the case of Spekt, Billy woods and Illogic, it was just a collaboration. Also, in all those cases, neither of us are big enough names to pull some “madvillian” kinda shit. If Spekt and I had called the album “Blockspeqt” or “Marqhead” , no one would have a clue what we were even referencing. I’m a fan of keeping it simple and
not trying to be all extra about shit.

I can’t remember if you’ve ever discussed the legalization of weed in Colorado and Washington before, so I’m wondering what you think about it. I know you don’t really smoke, but with your tour going through Colorado would you be more inclined to smoke there than in another state?
If I smoked? Sure. But i don’t so this legalization thing means nothing to me on a personal level. I would feel the same if it was legal to publicly shove radishes up your ass. It’s not something I do so it doesn’t effect me enough to care one way or another about it. I do think it’s a good thing in the sense it’s making a shit ton of money for those states and , in general, weed isn’t very dangerous , in my eyes. If anything, at it’s worst, it makes people kinda boring and dumb. but so does daytime television and no ones going to jail for that.

Demo Reviews Vol. 55

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Hi. Welcome to another edition of demo reviews. This is where you guys send me your demo’s and I tell you what I think of them. I’m currently NOT accepting demo submissions so please don’t bother sending them to me. When that time comes, i’ll let you know.
Anyway, the reviews work like so: I write a brief review and then arbitrarily rate the songs from 1-10 in the categories
Production
Vocals
Listenability
Originality

That’s about it. Remember, never take the rating that seriously. They mean nothing really. If you get a 5/10, it’s actually pretty good round these parts. I’m a tough crowd.
Lets check this weeks batch and don’t forget to vote for your favorite at the bottom.

Artist:Out of Place
Song: Breaking Bricks Feat. Sara Zavaleta


This a decent joint. The rapper is solid and has a good presence. He sounds kinda like Mr. Lif with less confidence. My only critique of him would be it feels like he’s reading the rhymes and that he needs to blow his nose. He’s good for sure though.
The beat is cool. Just a loop with drums and nothing else but it’s solid. Not the most creative thing I’ve ever heard but , hey, that’s why they got a dude to rap on it.
Production:5 out of 10
Vocals:6 out of 10
Listenability:6 out of 10
Originality:4 out of 10

Artist: Blot
Song: Pervert


This had a chance…it really did. It came in with promise of something that might blossom. I kept waiting for an awesome bassline to drop but no…it’s just kinda meanders sloppily into nothingness. There’s no aim. It’s like someone on heroin with ADD jamming out on a midi keyboard. I like the tempo and even the simplistic drums. But , musically, this is a tough one to get through.
Production:4.5 out of 10
Vocals:N/A
Listenability:3.5 out of 10
Originality:4.5 out of 10

Artist: Front man
Song:Music Sucks


I file this rapper under “guys who have too much to say and not enough flow”. His voice is decent and he has potential but his flow is very scattered on this song.
The beat is cool. The change up is okay but not particularly smooth in it’s transition.
Also, it might be the headphones I’m using but, the mix is a little janky. The vocals need to come up a bit cause the rapper definitely gets drowned out a bit.
Production:4.5 out of 10
Vocals:5 out of 10
Listenability:5 out of 10
Originality:4 out of 10

Artist:Sunglow
Song:Summ Ex


Hmm…It’s time for our weekly foray into “Well, this is not a genre I’m a fan of/familiar with enough to really give a good review”. Yup. This is, um, kinda fast and electronic. I dunno. Not something I’d listen to but it’s not terrible. I guess. I really can’t tell. I do feel faint shades of Prince in it but that might just me be searching for something to say about it.
Production:4.5 out of 10
Vocals:n/a
Listenability:4 out of 10
Originality:4.5 out of 10

Artist: Bug Powder
Song:Motia


“ethereal” is one of those buzz words music writers loves using. I’m not even sure what it truly means but I have a feeling this songs fits that description. It’s moody, cloud like and just overall very mellow. Kinda like some come down music. Or some driving home at 4 am kinda drunk music. It’s pretty good.
Production:6 out of 10
Vocals:n/a
Listenability:6 out of 10
Originality:5.5 out of 10

Artist: Aludel
Song: Perseverance Feat. Wes hunter


This is the middle ground. The rapper can rap well enough. His voice is decent enough. His lyrics are fine. The beat is not my personal taste (sounds like a bunch of plug ins) but it’s certainly good for what it is. I dunno…all that considered there really isn’t anything that makes me want to hear it again. It’s perfectly adequate but , for me, I desire something a little out the box or something with a little extra. A lot of people can rap and make beats but what separates you from the rest? That’s a question all artist should ask themselves.
Production:4.5 out of 10
Vocals:5 out of 10
Listenability:5 out of 10
Originality:4.5 out of 10

Artist: Second Nature
Song: Her


i think my favorite thing about this is the mixture of what sounds like a found sound (the sound of the wooden stick falling) blending in with the drums. I love shit like that. It really adds a warm feeling to everything. Outside of that, the music is just okay. It gets better as it goes and builds nicely but , perhaps, it takes a little too long to get where it needs to go. Still, this is rpetty cool when it’s all said and done.
Production:5.5 out of 10
Vocals:N/a
Listenability:5 out of 10
Originality:5.5 out of 10

Artist: TheK.I.D
Song: I heard


First off, this voice should never talk on a track prior to rapping. It just sounds wrong.
His voice does get better when he raps but it’s still kinda dorky. And hearing a dorky voiced dude pop shit is confusing to say the least. As a rapper. He just sounds like a dude who does this for fun and not much else. Very recreational.
The beat is meh. Sampling Marvin gaye could be cool but it’s a pretty lazy job overall.
Production:3.5 out of 10
Vocals:4 out of 10
Listenability:4 out of 10
Originality:3 out of 10

Artist: The Snowman
Song: Grapefruit


What did I just listen to? Is this a live recording recorded through a paper bag?
It’s got some cool parts but the quality is that of a bootleg concert tape. If this could actually be recorded decently it might be pretty cool. Kinda jam band-ish, which is very much not my thing, but I like the tasteful usage of analog instruments. Get your shit together , guy. It’s called pro-tools and multiple mic’s. It’s crucial for turning your jams into actual songs.
Production:4 out of 10 (it’s low cause of the shit recording quality)
Vocals:N/a
Listenability:5.5 out of 10
Originality:4.5 out of 10

Artist: Geovybe
Song:Groove with me


I gotta say, both the artist and song name had me ready to shit all over this but this is actually pretty good. Well crafted, well mixed, made with skill. I don’t love the choppy parts much cause it sounds, well, too choppy. It needs some more reverb or something. But, outside of that, this is a very solid feel god jam chock full of sounds that all compliment each other.
Production:6.5 out of 10
Vocals:n/a
Listenability:6 out of 10
Originality:4.5 out of 10

Which demo is your favorite?

Rogglecast 22- Ducking Decade

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This week, Pollyne and I discuss my trip to Montauk this weekend, the endless leak of nudes that have corroded society over the last 4 days , as well as celebrities that seemingly suck but we have a sneaking suspicion might actually be cool.
Download from the sound cloud page or go get the Rogglecast on I-tunes. Subscribe! It’s free, like AMERIKKKA!

Preview reviews of movies I’ve never seen vol. 7

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I love movies. At the same time, I don’t have the time or the desire to see about 99% of what comes out. When that’s the case, I like to take the “read a book by its cover” approach to life and simply judge the movie entirely by it’s preview. It’s a huge time saver and I’ve rarely been wrong. I mean, it happens but that’s what cable is for.
So, here are some reviews of movies I have never seen based on the two and half minute trailer. Sweeping generalizations…get familiar.

Dolphin Tale 2

The streets were asking for a sequel and hollywood obliged. Now, I never saw the first one cause I’m an adult with no kids but I think this is about a dolphin with a bionic tail. He’s like the Oscar Pistorius of dolphins, minus the murder. From the looks of the preview, this movies delves deep into the problem of dolphin depression. Something I feel we all should not take lightly. In fact, I may start a “Dolphin sperm” challenge to raise awareness. This is a challenge where you drink a shot glass full of dolphin spunk or simply donate money to the “Frowning flipper foundation”. It’s your choice but, you know what? It’s for a seriously good cause, guys.
Oh, yeah, so this movie…Looks to me like a drawn out story of how a bunch of people got two dolphins to fuck each other. I suppose that makes it a romance? Either way, I wouldn’t let my hypothetical kid watch this kind of aqua-smut.
Side note, you know you’re dealing with a kids movie when serious things are happening and , somehow, children are involved in the process. Like that little boy and girl have a say about anything involving this fucking dolphin. Come on! When I see a coming of age dolphin movie for 8 year old, all i ask is for some realism!

A walk among the tombstones

I’m not much of a reader. I’m not illiterate but I might as well be. So, when i see a movie like this and how it’s “based on a best selling novel” , for some reason, it bugs me out. It so clearly seems like a movie that was just an original screenplay and nothing else. Basic revenge action movie. But then I think “Whoa, someone actually wrote a book about Liam Neeson doing what Liam Neeson does in every movie he’s in. What are the chances?”
Here’s the thing, I’ll watch this movie. I loved “Taken”. We all loved “Taken”. So much ,in fact, that Neeson has pretty much stopped doing any roles that don’t consist of hunting other people down and killing them out of revenge or civic duty. That’s his pocket and he is the best at it. It’s a very specific market to corner but, hey, let that boy cook. He’s 50 something and pretty much the most feared man in movies. I hope when I’m that age I can still play basketball, let alone murder an entire albanian death squad with one gun and a few jujitsu moves. He’s like the adult contemporary version of “The Rock” and , as a person drifting into middle age, that’s something I can get behind.

Into the Storm

I can see the executives mulling over this script saying
“Check it out, bad weather is a reality, fellas…how bout we make the bad weather movie to end all bad weather movies?”
Then another guy responds “You mean like “Twister”?”
“Yeah, just like “Twister” but with a dash of “The day after tomorrow” just to spice it up!”
“Perfect. here’s a billion dollars. Let’s do this!”
My beef with weather based movies is that there is no villain. You can’t beat weather.I suppose that’s the point but I just don’t give a fuck to see 4 unlikable people who happened to survive tornado-geddon via out smarting weather.
When you think about it, as Americans, there are a few things that really scare us on a national level. The idea of a crazy virus spreading, terrorist attacks and natural disasters. I know how movies like this play off those fears but this is fucking ridiculous. There was a fire tornado! A FIRE TORNADO, DUDE!!!! That’s some Sci-fi network shit. I imagine, in the near future, there will be a movie about a hurricane that also has full blown AIDS. It’s will be one motherfucker of a storm!
It should also be noted that storm chasers are crazy people. I applaud their balls but that’s step above being a lava taster, as far as jobs i’d want to look into.

50 Shades of grey

Holy shit is my pussy wet right now.
I’ve been vaguely following this movies creation and it’s been entertaining. Lots of people not wanting to be in it. Like b-list motherfuckers who would probably be on a TBS sitcom but were like “50 shades of grey? Nah, I’m good on that”.
Obviously, i didn’t read the book but, from what I hear it’s a fabio type romance novel written for desperate lonely moms but with more whips and butt play. As a book, that’s fine. Read it while your shitty husband sleeps and fantasize that some hunky bro is giving you analingus. I get that. But, as a movie? You realize that Cinemax pretty much has a movie just like this playing at 2 in the afternoon on any given day. This is soft core porn for moms. 22 year olds ain’t trying to go see this shit in the theaters. I almost wanna go see this in the theaters myself just to witness the crowd. A whole bunch of sewing circles , sneaking wine into the theaters, wearing an extra pair of underwear…just in case things get steamy. That made me a little nauseous. Sorry.
Clearly, I’m not the target audience for this but I can only hope my mom isn’t either.

Answers for Questions vol. 202

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Hello everyone. I hoped you enjoyed your labor day. I waited till the final weekend of the summer to actually step into the sun and now my legs and arms look like red hots. Awesome.
Anyway, this is where you guys send me questions and I answer them. Simple stuff. If you’d like to join the fun, please do! email me questions at phatfriendblog@gmail.com or leave the questions in the comment section below. Br creative. Get weird. It makes it more fun for both of us.
Here’s this weeks batch…

Hey blockhead I’m a huge fan of both your music as well as phatfriend and a question id like an answer to is what (in your opinion) was the most freakishly bizarre thing that you’ve seen, heard, or experienced while touring? Im sure its been asked a million times but I really appreciate a good what the fuck moment.

I’ve actually had a fairly tame touring existence. I think that has to do with me not really hitting the road extensively till i was in my later 20’s. I’ve also been in a relationship for most of that time so that kinda wipes out any crazy/funny groupie stories that might happen otherwise. I’m always envious of people in their early 20s who tour. That must be so much fucking fun.
The only stories that pop into mind are ones about safety in cities I was unfamiliar with.
This one time I played a show in Detroit. I was staying in a hotel about 5 blocks from the venue. Being someone who’s used to walking everywhere, this was great for me cause I didn’t have to deal with taking a cab or getting a ride to the show. i could just pack up and make it there on my own. So, I walk to do soundcheck around 4 pm. I Do that and just sorta kick it at the venue till it’s time for me to play. I was an opener so I finished my set around 10ish. I get paid and I’m all ready to walk back to the hotel but the people working there are like “NO!!!!!”. They literally wouldn’t let me walk 5 blocks cause it was night time in Detroit. I tried to make a case of “It’s all good, I’m from NYC and this is how we get around” but I had a dude stand in front of the door like “No man, we’re calling you a cab. Trust me on this one”. So, I drive back (it’s like a two minute drive) and the streets are empty. In my mind, I could easily have just walked back with no issue. The next day, I run into a dude who was also performing that night and apparently he had gotten robbed and punched in the face…in the stairwell of the hotel we were staying in. Fair play to you ,Detroit. You are terrifying. i will never question your safety precautions again.
The other time that I recall is playing in Milwaukee. I finished my set and couldn’t get a cab cause there were too many people already getting cabs outside the venue. So, I did the thing I’d do in NYC and just walk up a few blocks and try and intercept cabs before they hit the main strip. So, I wander into what looks like a suburban residential area. Like nice houses with lawns and shit. I’m kinda drunk so my attention isn’t exactly laser focused. Out of nowhere pops two crackheads. A guy and girl. They start chatting me up and I’m just sorta casually shooting the shit with them. I’m pretty much just waiting to see if a cab comes by while these two crackheads ask me crackhead like questions that are basically working their way towards asking me for a dollar. It’s a dance I’ve done before and it’s no different no matter what city you are in. 5 minutes into this conversation, a little clarity takes over and I realize I’m standing in the hood. I guess I was so oblivious cause, well, it’s Milwaukee…but nah, this was actually a totally fucked up ghetto I was chilling in, on the street , at 2 am with two crackheads. So, I told one of them “Hey man, you find me a cab, I’ll give you 5 bucks” (to be clear, the crackheads were not a threat. They were old, small and cracky). He dashes off and two minutes later a cab pulls up. I honestly have no clue how he did it. I gave him five bucks, wished him and his lady well and got the fuck out of there. Right before the cab pulled up, I looked down the block and saw a mass of people moving my way. they were too far to really see what the deal was but I could tell it was a group of 10-15 people. By the time the cab got there, they were maybe a black away. As I drove by them, I saw a group of drunk teenagers kicking over garbage cans and pretty much just fucking up everything they passed. Like a dust storm of trouble slowly destroying everything in it’s path. So, basically, that crackhead saved me from a possible incident. So, in a way, hooray for crack!

Why do the men of NYC catcall to the extent that they do? It’s in a league of its own (when you compare it to any other major city within an English speaking country that is)
Is it worse here? I’ve never noticed. Clearly, I’m a guy so it never happens to me (except on gay pride weekend) but it’s not something I really pay attention to. Like , i walk by construction workers every day and never see them say shit to women. This in no way means I don’t think it happens (I know for a fact it does) but you’d think , if it was a prevalent ,I’d see it with some frequency. What I do see all the time is scum bags kicking it to girls on the street from their cars. That’s the worst. That and dudes who just creepily stare a hole into girl when they walk by them. I mean, shit, I look at girls when I walk around but I’m at least subtle about it. A quick glance and maybe a head turn if I wanna see the backside. But Some dudes will straight up stop walking and stare at a girl like she’s on fire. The funniest is when I see a gross middle aged dude stare at a wildly mediocre looking girl like that. That’s some “i just got outta jail” shit.
but why is NYC the worst about this? Probably cause it’s the most walkable city in the US and it’s full of people. That alone is gonna make any social interaction more common. Especially ones involving scum bag degenerates.

do have a least favorite follower? Be it twitter, Facebook etc

Like one person you’re like “holy fuck I hate this person “?

I don’t think I can pinpoint one person. I have a bunch of twitter and facebook followers who annoy me. Some say snarky shit for no reason (and aren’t funny). Some do that thing where they just reiterate a joke you just made right back to you. Others are just straight up weirdos who tweet cryptic nonsense at you all the time. Those people scare me a little cause they seem very unhinged. I’m a fan of sanity online so anytime someone comes at me from a weirdo angle, I tend to want that person to go away.
I think what happens is that I’m pretty accessible on those sites and people see I joke around so they assume they can fuck with me like they know me. Problem with that is , they don’t know me and that kinda shit talking (playful or not) doesn’t translate on the internet. It would be different if we were friends and had that familiarity but we are actually total strangers so it doesn’t work like that. I can’t tell when someone is being an asshole or just kidding. And cause there are so many real assholes online, I just assume people are being the worst at all times.
Also, anyone who has ever seriously said “first world problems!” to me after I tweeted a joke, I hate you so fucking much. Not only cause that’s a corny thing to point out on the internet (first world thing right there) but it just shows a lack of creative thought in how you go about interacting with people. Especially strangers online. Basically, it’s something dickheads say to make themselves feel better by trying to make others feel like shit. Fuck that. If you’re following me on any social network, there’s a 95% chance you’re chilling comfortably in the first world.

Which t-shirt slogan do you think best embodies the angle of your average bro on tinder?
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I’m not on tinder so it’s hard to say but, from what I’ve seen, it’s more douche bags than people who can’t speak correct english. So, I think I’d say the “Phat Dong” shirt is most indicative of tinder Culture. A bunch of dudes looking for the quickest possible route inside a strangers vagina. Dudes who wear shirts that reference their dicks generally aren’t the classiest fellows.

Hypothetical question: If sampling became completely outlawed, or for some strange and unimaginable reason it simply didn’t exist any more… Would you attempted to make non sample based music? or just bite the bullet and give up music?

I mean, it’s getting close to that point, isn’t it? People can still sample but making money with that kinda music is basically a wash.
To answer the question, i would be extremely bummed but I think I would push ahead. What I’d probably do would be align myself with some good studio musicians and just “produce” in the old timey sense of the word. I’d do the drums and whatnot but pretty much orchestrate the rest. It would certainly make creating music a pain in the ass and far more complicated but it would be better than nothing.