You know, I kinda thought we were done here. I assumed the moment had passed and the wonderment of Riff Raff had finally simmered down. Since we last checked, the enigmatic rapper has released his first real album, has probably been touring relentlessly and it’s most likely a wealthy man. All I know for sure is that his Vine is still pretty funny.
Anyway, I got an email from a young lady the other day telling me she had just slept with Riff Raff the prior night. It was my first unsolicited admission, as all the others were arranged through people I actually knew. I was a little suspect and asked her if there is any way she could prove this wasn’t fake. She understood and sent me a screen cap of their twitter DM’s and, well, good enough for me. And , after reading her synopsis of the night, I 100% believe her. If nothing else, Riff Raff has proven to be consistent.
So, here’s what she sent me:
Well I’d always wanted to meet him and when he followed me I figured it was my chance. He’s really odd but attractive in a way and so he ended up texting me and said “hey”. I said “what’s up?”. He asked where I was at and I said my house, and he didn’t reply after that. Well, me and my girl were drinking and I hadn’t texted him again in a couple days. I didn’t wanna come off as like a crazy fan and Annoy him, ya know? So, I texted him a topless picture. kinda forward ,I know. Not my proudest moment but tequila makes ya risky. So, he asked where I was at and if I also had a friend I was bringing and asked for our instagrams and then proceeded to give us his address. He was staying at the veer. It’s really nice and hard to find. Definitely expensive. Finally, we find the place and get in. I call him and hand the phone to the clerk ,who lets us up ,and we get to his room. I was pretty drunk but he was a very chill person. Seemed careful though. For instance, once me and my girl got in , I charged my phone but she asked if she could take a picture and he tripped out a little bit. He has to keep his stuff private , you know? He didn’t like her very much after that so she went to wait in the lobby with her friend and left me alone. It was all very quick and I sucked him up for a little and he used a condom. It didn’t last very long as far as I remember but he asked to cum on my face and I let him ,which I never do. lol. After I hopped in his shower real quick and he had somewhere to go maybe a club? And I left with my friend it wasn’t a very long visit he was very chill with me tho
So there you have it. I think the highlight for me is that he asked to see their instagrams. Smart man. Surely, a man who has had his share of unwanted surprises, when it comes to female guests. Also, the sexual description really cracked me up to. Just so direct. I don’t think I’ve ever heard a sexual tryst described like “I sucked him him up for a little and he used a condom”.
Anyway, I asked this girl to answer some more questions and she was kind enough to oblige.
Here those are:
Have you hooked up with other famous people?
No actually this was the first time
How quickly did he get into it once your friends left? was it assumed that it was on?
Yeah definitely after our texts and right away.
What made you let him cum in your face (cause you mentioned you don’t usually do that)? Just for the experience ,going with the flow or something else?
The experience mainly I thought it was pretty hilarious plus my really drunken state made me say yeah easier
What was the drug situation like that night, for both of you?
None for me and honestly as far as I know he could have been sober.
Is this the kinda experience you will tell future boyfriends about?
If they are the chill type I think it would be a cool story but definitely depends on the person.
Did you find him to be respectful or business like in how he went about the whole thing?
Both. he was really chill but we were both there for one thing
Would you do it again?
Yeah if he’s down
Would you ever date a guy like riff raff seriously?
No I don’t think so I’d honestly have to get to know him better but he’s really odd and way older
Do you consider his persona to be real or put on for the public?
Real lol
I preferred to be sucked “off” rather than “up”, but either way is okay.
wish there was more story line
on Shots Fired recently he said he’s been sober a while.
No kidding? I gotta peep that. From the sound of the other “hook ups” he was pretty fucked up there for a while.
Just wanna make sure I have the logistics right here…does that mean she blew him with a condom on and then he took the condom off and shot on her face???
Ahahahahahaha (actually not laughing at her, but at him and celebs in general)
I actually don’t know. Good question.
The picture at the bottom looks scarily like a trailer trash dopleganger of Dj Vadim (Sorry Vadim)
it totally does…hahaha
“When he followed me I figured it was my chance” - haha. He follows like 100,000 people, most of which I would assume are girls. So many spunked on faces, so little time.
Thought this was funny because when she got home she definitely googled “I fucked Riff Raff” or something similar.
Oh, and under the law this was rape.
how was it rape?