Ask Dr. Tony Vol 41

Welcome to another edition of “Ask Dr. Tony”.
YOu ask for my advice, and I do my best to give you honest solutions. I’m not a licensed anything but I will shoot straight with you cause, well, I don’t know you and have nothing invested in your problems. It’s no skin off my back to tell you the truth.
If you’re having some life issues that need an outside opinion, holler at your boy. Email me questions at or leave them in the comments. It’s all anonymous. This is a safe place for you and your problems.
Here’s this editions bounty.

So I met this chick and we really hit it off. She told me she had a slutty past but learned blah blah blah. I got along with her so well that I looked past that and also didn’t feel like I had the right to judge. Although it is applicable knowledge.
We hook up for about two weeks and shes telling me she loves me and all this shit. I never said it back because to me thats too early and kind of crazy. I rolled with it because we got along so well. Anyways, one day she stops hooking up with me and asks for space. I was fine with that and didn’t ask why just gave her space.She was a bit intense for me so I thought space would be good. Well we dont hook up again but remain friends.
A week later, we’re at a bar and she gets drunk and starts acting pretty “open for business” and picks up a dude right in front of me. I get pissed we exchange words.
Anyways, we become friends again but I told her I wasnt going to do datey shit with her because I’m not going to be that dude. She’s cool with that. But then one night we watch a movie and hook up again. She doesn’t remember because we were both wasted.
She flirts with me all the time. But then were at the bar again and she gets drunk and turns into the drunk “open for business” self and picks up a dude right in front of me after she tells me shes going home with me. I send her some mean texts drunk and apologize the next day. She tells me to stop being a bitch after I tell her what she did (she didn’t remember). I cut communication with her after we exchanged some words cause I don’t like to be talked to that way.
I still want to be friends with her but always feel real awkward as a friend and a past lover when she gets wasted at a bar and goes full blown sexual fiene. Other than that she’s an awesome person and I really enjoy her company. Half of me is like “Fuck no. Why would I ever want to date this mess?”. Other half enjoys her company so much that I start developing feelings. Should I just cut her off?

It sounds to me that you want to have your cake and eat it too. You don’t wanna date her, you wanna be her friend, but you also don’t want to see her out meeting other guys. Well, guess what? You don’t have any say in the matter. She can do whatever she wants. She doesn’t owe you anything. If this means you guys can’t be friends, then that’s what will have to happen. This “friendship” sounds based entirely on whether or not you can handle your own jealousy. She’s obviously less checked in on that emotional level (with you, at least) so she sounds like she’ll roll with the punches.
I gotta say, any time an ex lover writes scorned emails/texts, they lose. Straight up. It’s showing all the cards in your deck to a person who’s not even playing poker with you.
From the sound of it, you two could be friends, have sex on occasion and it would be okay. At least for her. But if this is something you simply cannot do without feeling some sort of way about it, then I think it’s best to extract yourself from the situation. It seems like, regardless of your history and your opinions of her actions, you do kinda like her (in that “more than a friend” kinda way). If you didn’t, none of this would bother you as much as it does. Otherwise, you’re just being overly possessive of someone who is definitively not yours.
All i can say is evaluate your true feelings about this girl and make a decision. If it’s too much for you to see her “open for business” it may be time to shut down shop for good.

Ok so about four months ago, I broke up with my girlfriend of 10 months. It was arguably the most emotionally all-over-the-place relationship I’ve ever been in, and even with that in mind, It was the best. About a month after we broke up we bumped into each other, and thats when shit got complicated. It was basically one of those “one thing led to another” type scenarios and at the end of it I realized I was more in love with the idea of her than I actually was with her, so I had to put the brakes on it again, which really hurt her. That whole thing lasted about a week. Flash forward to the present, there’s this girl that I’ve recently met who’s honestly awesome. We’ve really hit it off and I feel like, it it all goes well, it could totally work out. My concern lies with the fact that I still feel really guilty about my ex. If I’m still feeling that way, should I just pause what’s going on between me and this other girl? Is there more of a waiting period? Or am I just over analyzing it?

Oh, the good old “memories are better than the reality” part of break ups. Been there, bro.
I’m not clear on where you guilt is coming from. Cause you hooked up with her again? I’m assuming that’s what it is and now I guess she thinks it’s a new start? Well, you gotta be a man and nip that in the bud. You already know it’s not going to work. That inkling you had of “maybe this isn’t the right thing to do” is usually spot on and will only grow if you were to stick it out and see what happens.
Unless you fucked your ex over, I don’t think you need to be guilty about anything. Relationships come and go. I’m assuming you’re not old and didn’t have kids with her so, what’s the big deal? A 10 month relationship is a blip of time, when you think about it. If you like this new girl, there should be nothing stopping you from moving forward. The waiting period is really on a person to person basis. If you feel ready to move on, then do it. If you think you can’t be 100% there for this new girl, then give it a minute. I would only warn that if this is all about the feelings of the girl you broke up with and not about how you feel (as far as being ready to move on) then you’re gonna shoot yourself in the foot.

this is going to sound so narcissistic, but I have a problem where boys get obsessed with me. ex. I’ve had 3 boyfriends all range in age and careers and hobbies and all have restraining orders

first one I married he was a year younger then I. nice-ish guy sexual we were to and fro he played music, skater, he joined the air force smart guy. threatened to kill me and then himself. I now have a military restraining order against him. only pot involved we didn’t drink. this was a 6 year relationship never cheated

next guy I dated was 10 years older, total douche, but really funny, went to college into space and science,
sex was awful two minutes every two weeks.
everything else was ok we didn’t fight or anything he just snapped because I called him out on our sexual issues and he ended up braking my phone so I beat him up with my bare hands and got arrested and went to jail for domestic violence until he got the charges drop because he’s family raged on him for being a little bitch. I started dating another guy not to long after him and I broke up. Then he started watching me across the street at my work and have my new guy jumped. restraining order against him as well. pot and alcohol involved. 2 years never cheated

next guy is the WORST the guy I mentioned in the story above as being the “new Guy”
This guy is 13 years older then I. Comes from a millionaire family, confirmed by his mother. He has a Doctoriet in Architecture , dated models and soap oprha stars, some of the best sex ever 22 hours is our max (drug free) 2 hours daily. cool right….nope dude was fucking crazy and used scare tacts and abuse to keep me around it worked for about a year he came to my job and called my boss with not nice things to say when I left. I lost a lot. breeze blocks by alt j video makes me sick it’s so familiar. I’m to scared to get a restraining order but I need one. Just a bunch of pot heads. never cheated

How I view myself, I’m not all that good looking. Not super advanced in anything not the schooling type. I’m fucking cool and pretty funny. super positive and optimistic but I love being a blunt bitch. Not stupid and I don’t like to argue.I like me but not as much as everyone else likes me. I’m amazing in bed.(the only thing I can think of why they are obsessed) I’m lazy but I have a lot of health problems that weigh me down. not to mention being stalked and the social anxiety it has produced. It’s not just them everyone that I open up to tends to crave my attention. It’s over whelming and fucking with my head.

you are popular and must get a lot of attention even way to much attention that you can do with out from the ladies for your musical talent.

How do you deal with that?

how does your girlfriend deal with that?

What is the craziest fan you have ever came across?

How did you deal with that?

how do you avoid crazy obsessive people?

I don’t wanna be a dick here but either you’re a toxic person , you attract toxic people or both. Normal people don’t deal with this kinda shit on a continuous basis. It’s like that person you know who’s always got beef with people and who constantly has inexplicable shitty things happening to them but they always find a place to drop the blame. When, in reality, it’s usually their fault. Very few people actually live under a black cloud. Most manufacture their own.
I honestly can’t compare anything that’s every happened in my life to anything you just listed cause I’m not that guy. I’m actually the opposite. I seek out calm and structure. I’ve never been one attracted to drama and , in general, I’m so even keel that it’s infuriated people I’ve dated. I don’t get super angry about anything (within reason). I don’t argue. I’m just not that guy. So all the things you’re talking about, to me, make you sound like a crazy person or someone who has really bad radar when it comes to finding appropriate people to date. I mean, sure, your sex could be really good but it’s never that simple. Pussy is pussy. Dick is dick. There’s a mental aspect to this all that probably is way deeper than you even realize.
So, to answer your questions, I don’t deal with that. I avoid people who are crazy and generally have my guard up.
My Gf doesn’t have to deal with it cause I don’t allow that toxic shit in my life.
The craziest fan I’ve come across? hmm…probably someone online. In person, the worst it’s gotten is just some person who won’t stop talking to me at the merch booth and who is clearly very intoxicated. But the online people can get pretty weird. The beauty of that is I can just not respond or I can block them from whatever social network they’re reaching out to me over.
I avoid crazy obsessive people simply by paying attention. Those types don’t all of a sudden appear. The signs are there. I’ve never met a person like that who I didn’t immediately get that vibe from and , at that moment, begin distancing myself from them. Those types are generally obvious. Unless they are sociopaths but I’m pretty guarded when it comes to really letting a person into my world. I’m friendly and will talk to anyone but there’s a line of trust and actually knowing someone that they have to reach before it becomes anything more than passing pleasantries.

This week in ridiculous rap: Morettisan

Here we have a german man in his mid to late 30’s who is clearly joking. Good lord, I hope he is joking. It’s one of those cases that, even though you get the feeling it’s tongue in cheek, there is still something palpably terrifying about it. Is it because he’s german? Maybe. It’s hard to not picture this guy being into some truly creepy shit. That all carhart outfit. Those glasses. His head. His teeth. His blonde and thinly shaped soul patch alone is like the facial hair equivalent of a “do not enter” sign. This guy looks like someone who wouldn’t get casted in one of those “Hostile” movies cause it would be “too obvious”.
What else can really be said about this? I’m just glad the lyrics got posted. It will make memorizing this entire thing and rapping it to completion that much easier. Thanks Morettisan!
Side note: This song officially teaches us the there is no way to flow when saying the name “Meartin”. If I could, I would just loop him saying that name over and over again and make a beat out of it.

Answers for questions vol. 214

Whattup everyone! I’m back from my tour and it feels great. Shout out to all the people who came out and saw me (along with my boys Elaquent, Muneshine, Lost Midas and Yppah). I had a blast. Hope to see you all again real soon.
This is “Answers for questions”. You asked, so i answered. If you’d like to be a part of this, you should do that! Send me questions! get weird! Either email them to me at or leave them in the comment section below. Have fun with it. Be original. It’s anonymous so don’t be scurred.
Let’s se what we got this week.

The Earth’s time is coming to an end, natural disasters are on the rise and everyone’s starting to go into widespread panic/insanity. A day ago you met a man who has access to a space ship going to the next inhabitable planet( it has become known around that time that there is one). He tells you that you can bring two people, one backpack of essential supplies and choose one of the following to have access to in addition to what you put in your bag:
1) a 9 mm handgun with 200 rounds
2)a hatchet
3)Harpoon gun with 5 Harpoons
4)a belt with a small knife, 20 yards of rope, and a roll of Duct Tape
5) a Bullmastiff and a Swiss Army pocket knife

Who do you choose? what’s in your bag? and which number do you choose?

I don’t wanna cop out of this question but I feel as though I should be honest. I’m not a man with great gumption. When the world starts to fall apart and we are all forced to fend for ourselves and live off the land, I’m well aware that I’ll be checking out sooner than later. So, while the offer to go to the new planet would be awesome and appreciated, if surviving on that new planet means me needing to carry tons of weapons and learn how to scavenge, I’mma be dead within the first week anyway. So, realistically, I wouldn’t even bother going and just die however I was gonna die on earth. But, for the sake of the question, I suppose I’d bring two people with me who know how to survive in such situations. So, shit, i dunno…Bear Grylls and a chef who specializes in cooking using ingredients found in nature. Yes…I said a chef…cause, at the end of the day, my love of food wins over all.
As for what i’d bring from that list, Probably the gun and the belt with all the stuff on it.
Either way, I wouldn’t last a month…and I’m okay with that.

Would you put out one really cheesy, terrible song that sweeps the nation for an absurd amount of fortune and fame? I’m talking like the lamest song ever and that will be legacy.
People love to ask variations of this question. I’ve gotten it in some form maybe 10 times over the years. It’s like “ooohh, I’mma get him! Will he sell out!?!!”
Well, yes , motherfucker, I would. But here’s the thing, it would have to be a song I actually made. If it’s some bullshit with my name on it that i had nothing to do with, that’s a little different (Though, not gonna lie, if i could make a comfortable living off of one song, it would be hard to say no to that).
If the song was one of my own and I didn’t make it specifically to sell out, then I could 100% live with that. Maybe I made it as a joke and it took off? That shit happens. Some pop stars biggest songs are things they wrote in five minutes while fucking around that happen to blow up. Also, it’s not like this one song would change how I make music. I’d go right back to doing what I’ve been doing prior to it. So, if my fans are so fickle that they’d leave me over one song, fuck’em.
Listen, I make music for a living. I’m a niche artist. I realize this and I’m totally fine with it. I make enough money to live my life but I’m far from rich. If making one song could afford me a better life, I would do it. Why? Cause it’s my life. I used to care a lot about people selling out and not staying true. And, still, I’ll see shit that makes my soul hurt. But this is my life. I don’t have the problem of being super prideful about things. If something came along that meant I would be set for the rest of my living years, I’d take it. Hell, DJ Premier did three songs with Christina aguilera, you think he regrets that? Fuck no. Those royalty checks come 4 times a year and he probably smoke 5 blunts back to back to celebrate.
It should also be noted that I make instrumental hip hop so none of this would ever actually happen. That kind of success simply isn’t in my wheelhouse.

So Taylor Swift has been named tourist ambassador of NYC… Any thoughts???
I think it’s ridiculous and offensive but it makes sense. In a way, she does represent what New York is to every person looking in from the outside. A backwoods, gawky dork who’s lived here for 3 months is the perfect person to welcome all the other people just like her into this city. I only wish this had happened in the 80’s. I would have loved to see Debbie Gibson be our ambassador.
It should also be noted that her version of NYC is comical. If anyone watching her from their double wide thinks “I’mma be just like Taylor!”, I actually feel bad for them. Sadly, the only people who can afford that life style in NYC are people like Taylor swift.
As watered down as NYC has gotten, it will still chew up and spit out your average person who moves here. The cost of living alone will knock out 75% of the wishful thinkers.
So, in a way, when that happens, they can all blame Taylor swift. That’s something I can get behind. Look out for the “Blame Taylor” campaign of 2016.

Today it took me a few good seconds to remember how old I am while drinking a morning coffee. I was thinking that I’m 30 years old and completely forgot that I had turned 31. I do that all the time and it’s not even in purpose! Do you do that too in the first few months following your birthday?

I used to do it more. But, i feel, the older I get the more acutely aware I am of that age. I’d imagine there will come a time where that’s gonna totally change and I’ll stop keeping track. But, as someone in my late 30’s, my eyes are on the clock. When I was in my 20’s, I definitely would forget what year I was in though. That’s cause nothing mattered THAT much at that age. You feel like you got all the time in the world. As you get older, the pin hole you’re looking through starts to minimize and all those real life adult things you were ignoring in your 20’s start to come into focus. I don’t think this is a good thing..but it happens. Get ready for it!

Hey, have you ever been courted by major record labels? If so, how did those meetings go?

Also, would you ever consider being a part of a production “team”, like, how other people do the actual production, and Dr. Dre just puts his name on it?

I have not. I sample. That alone knocks me out of most major label conversations. Add on I don’t sell hundreds of thousands of records and it’s a wrap.
As for the production team question, sure. I much prefer working alone but it’s something I’d hear out and consider. I’m not in this for the fame or power of my name so working behind the scenes would be totally fine with me.
If you mean would I hire a production team to make my beats for me, nah. That’s silly.

Would you rather eat a chicken sandwich while standing in a port-a-potty or sleep in dumpster behind KFC for one night?
I eat incredibly fast so I think I could pound that sandwich in like 45 seconds. I’d take that over a full night behind a dumpster with no hesitation.

Does it concern you that the NBA Western conference is so much stronger than the Eastern conference? Do you ever contemplate what half of the nation is the better of the two? Does it even matter? From what I hear the east coast is overcrowded and in general people who move there from the west coast don’t like it. What is the alternative city folk perspective?
This question kinda hops all over the place Are we talking basketball here or are you using that as a way to say the west coast is better than the east coast?
The strength of the western conference has never been a concern of mine. If anything, it’s great cause it will give a shitty team like the knicks a chance to make the playoffs.
Also, these things change. In 5 years, the landscape of basketball will be totally different.
As for east vs. west, in general, I’m an east coast guy. I love it out here. I love parts of the west coast as well but they’re just truly different. Yes, it’s more crowded here. Life moves a lot quicker. If that’s not something that appeals to you, then you won’t like it. I like that. When I go out west, I feel as though I’m faster than most people. Like my brain is working quicker. I don’t mean I feel smarter. I mean I feel my natural way of being is just more on point. Cause, in NYC, you have to be. On your toes. It’s not lax here like it is out west.
But to argue your point, i know tons of west coast people who move out here and love it. And vice versa. It all depends what kinda person you are. If you want warmth year around, lots of space and nearby nature, then the east coast isn’t for you. If you want action, excitement , everything you need walking distance away, and a little grit, NYC is for you.
Oh, but you also have to be rich to afford it so there’s that too.

Goddamn wet wipes AKA The shittiest day

On monday, I was sitting in my living room around 1:30 pm. I had gotten back from a mini-tour the prior day so I was in full loaf mode. Watching Tv, Stuffing food into my face and doing nothing with great purpose. It didn’t hurt that it was pouring rain outside. I live in a duplex and my bedroom is downstairs. Out of the corner of my ear, I hear what sounds like a faucet running loudly coming from downstairs. Being that I was alone in the house, this was mildly unsettling so I decided to go see what that noise was all about. As i headed down the stairs, the noise got louder and it dawned on that this was the sound of water slapping against tile. I rushed to the bathroom to see my toilet overflowing. We’ve all been there. A toilet gets clogged up and water rises over the rim. That rush of deep fear and you scramble to contain a mess you’re partially responsible for. Except this was different. I hadn’t used this toilet in hours and the water rising out of it was a black sludge that smelled like a thousand bums had been put into a blender. Not only that, it was coming out of the shower drain as well. Upon laying my eyes on this, real panic set in. The water level in the bathroom was rising and about pour out into the hallway, so i ran and got as many towels as possible, I blockaded the doorway off, as the sludge gently settled into the towels. For the time being, it seemed like this was working. The overflowing stopped and it seemed like everything was contained for a moment. It was then I could step back and really see the damage. By this time my trash can in the bath room was floating and the bathmat that was in the room was completely submerged. The water was a disgusting mixture of leaves, paper, human waste and even a tampon thrown in for good measure.
I Immediately called my super and got him on the case. I left the room cause, well, it smelled like shit, and retreated upstairs to gently bang my head into a wall. Then, it started again. I heard that familiar gurgling and ran back to see the toilet once again pouring waste into my house. And saw this…THE HORROR. (this is video i took of what was going on. Be warned…it’s not pretty)
Yup. Breath that in. Embrace that. Let it be your spirit guide.
The towels I had laid down were moments from being over taken by the water so I went to get more of them. Once I got those towels down, it was clear that they wouldn’t be enough. I frantically called my girlfriend at her job cause, honestly, I had no idea what to do. Our downstairs was within minutes of being completely covered in shit water. This is where all our clothes are. This is where all my music equipment is. This is where we sleep. She was calm enough to tell me to go upstairs , roll the rug up and block off the valuable parts of our lower level (closets, bedroom). Honestly, it was one of those funny moments when you need your significant others “okay” to ruin something. I would have never gotten the rug, simply on some “She will not be happy that i ruined our rug” shit. But, with that green light, I did it and was able to block off the major areas. Some sludge got around it and seeped a few feet from our bedroom, but i threw what remaining towels we had in the house on top and that slowed it down.
Meanwhile, the toilet is still overflowing, It’s relentless. Like someone opened a shaken soda bottle. It’s not spraying but it’s just pushing out more and more stuff. I can honestly say I’ve never been more panicked. I don’t know what a panic attack feels like but I’d like to think I was close. I was running around my crib yelling “Oh fuck!” , “Noooo!” and “motherfucker”. Eventually, I had to pretty much pick what part of my downstairs I didn’t need so I could navigate the shit water in that direction. I chose the hallway towards the basement door exit. When the water finally stopped, there was basically a few inches of brown water and sludge contained to a certain part of my house. It was like the world’s worst pond.
This whole time, I had been in contact with my super, who was in contact with my building manager. I own my place (it’s a condo) and, in the past, my building manager has never been the most responsive man. I write him a complaint, at best, get a hastily crafted one sentence response that means nothing. More likely, I get no response at all. It the case of this, his hand was forced. My super came over and was like “holyyyyyyyyy shit!”. He then explained to me what happened. Due to the rain, the drainage system got clogged up. Thus the leaves. But that didn’t make sense or give me much comfort cause this buildings drainage system should be able to handle water. Then he says something that makes the most sense
“Honestly, you know what it was? Wet wipes…People in this building keep flushing wet wipes and those things fuck everything up”.
WET WIPES?!?!?!?! my fucking house has inches of shit water in it cause a bunch of pretty princesses like their buttholes extra clean?!?!??!?! ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?

Wet wipe people. They are a type. It’s very much a “once you go wet wipes, you never go back” kinda thing. They will act revolted by the idea of using normal toilet paper and say things like “If you got shit on your hand, would you just wipe it off with a piece of paper?”. Valid point, except I don’t shit directly out of my hand and that’s what buttholes are for. Toilet paper has been a successful way of cleaning your asshole forever. Sure, you might not wanna eat off it post wiping but…IT’S AN ASSHOLE. That’s where shit comes from. It’s not supposed to be a shining sanitized ruby 24/7. You gonna have some anal sex? Maybe get your butt eaten? Perhaps you’re entering into a “cleanest asshole” competition? Then, by all means, get your wet wipe on. But if you’re just taking a dump then going back to your desk to enter code? Toilet paper will do just fine.
Listen, I get the appeal. It’s nice to know you’re clean. And there are people out there who use them correctly. They know not to flush them. These people are also disgusting cause they have a trash can next to their toilet filled with shit covered paper. I almost feel as if having a receptacle filled with shitty wet paper is worse than not having the worlds cleanest anus. In fact, I don’t almost feel like that…I definitively feel like that.
So, yeah, all this happened cause of a bunch of spoiled assholes (literally).
I spent the following day at my place letting in a crew of men in hazmat suits in and out of my house as they cleaned my lower level like it was chernobyl. Currently, there are 5 machines running downstairs, drying out the air or whatever and, in a few days they will come back a reassess the damages. I’ve been told I’ll need new floors and new walls. I definitely need new towels and a new rug. Thankfully, my buildings insurance will cover it (It fucking better). But all this…Cause a few dandy dipshits couldn’t live without feeling like there asshole was a shined golden goose. Now, that’s just

“Bells and Whistles” is here!

Hey everyone,
If you’ve been paying attention to me at all the last few weeks/months/years, you might have noticed I’ve been promoting a new album. This is my 6th solo album and , for the first time ever, I’m putting it out myself. Yes, I’m no longer on Ninja Tune. But thank to them for years and years of a great service.
Anyway, because I’m doing this myself, things are a little different this time. For one, it’s a digital release only at the moment. So, if you want to own it, the only way is to download it. For you enthusiasts of non-digital music, hold your heads. While I’m not planning on making cd’s (it’s still possible but , honestly, I’m doing this all myself and no one buys Cd’s anymore) I AM getting vinyl done. I’m starting with 1000 copies. If that goes well, I will do represses. If you’re wondering “So, how can I get this vinyl?!?!” wellllll…I can’t say yet. It will be done and ready around early 2015. I’m still working out how to distribute it. When I do, I’ll let everyone know. Just know that I want to sell it as much as you want to buy it so I’m gonna figure something out. But, sadly, I’m not taking pre-orders on it right now.
The good news is, if you’re an internet/music downloader kinda person, this new album is available in many forms.


spotify: (feel free to do that thing where you leave it on repeat for the whole day…that’s like 15 cents a day for me!)
And a bunch of other places you can get digital/streaming music. I used tunecore so that covers most of the places you can think of. There’s a chance it might not be ready on some of those sites right away but, rest assured, it will be there.
Here’s a stream of the album, for those people who don’t just blindly make purchases:

In closing, I’d just like to say thanks to all the fans who have supported me over the years. I’ve met a bunch of you on the road and spoken to many of you online in some form. You are a small but loyal group. Without you, I wouldn’t be doing this. Also, know that , with this album being self released,I’m doing something I’ve never done. I’m old and this is new territory for me. I’m learning as I go. It’s kinda like teaching your mom how to text. so have a little patience. If you have questions (that are not answered in this post) feel free to ask.
An extra shout out to the people who pre-ordered on bandcamp and paid more than the asking price. I don’t know why you did it…maybe you were drunk and feeling philanthropic but that was above and beyond. Seriously…in a world where people have pretty much taken the value away from as much art as possible, that kind of thing really speaks volumes about your character. I sure as hell wouldn’t do it…you’re better people than me! So, seriously, thanks.

I didn’t do any real liner notes so…Shout out to all the people who helped me with this album: Gabe Hilfer, Owen Brozman, Damien Paris, Brian Koerber, Aaron Meola. And to all the people looking out for me on blogs and websites and magazines…it’s appreciated. This is some grassroots shit right here so all the little things count extra.
Okay. So, I hope you guys enjoy the album. As always, thanks for the support!

Answers For Questions Vol. 213

Hi everyone! I just flew back from philly and boy are my…oh wait. I took a train. Trains are cool.
Anyway, shout out to all the people who came out to oston, Brooklyn and Philly this weekend to see Elaquent, Muneshine and myself. We had a great time. Vancouver, seattle and portland is next, starting this thursday.
Anyway, this is answers for questions. You ask. I answer. Guess what? I need more questions. The queue isn’t dangerously low but it could use some reinforcements. So, ask away. Anything. Get weird. You can either email them to me at or simply leave them in the comment section below. They’re both anonymous. Do it!
Let’s check this weeks haul…

How good of a gift-giver do you think you are when it comes to buying a present for your girl, family, etc?

The worst. I don’t like getting gifts and I don’t like giving them. I’m a very “you handle yours and I’ll handle mine” kinda guy. I generally don’t expect gifts and don’t need them (there’s not much out there I REALLY need that I don’t have). So, when it comes time for me to get people gifts, I’m clueless. I’m just not thoughtful in that way. I need specific instructions. That, I can do, for sure. But if someone is expecting a creative and thoughtful gift? I’m not the guy. What I’ve been doing the last few years is taking people out to nice dinners. It seems to make both parties happy.
I dunno…I feel as though I’m too old to be giving or receiving gifts. I think it’s weird when people over a certain age are still hung up on that shit. It’s like “yo, santa isn’t real, bro. We all got our own lives to live. Can’t we just skip all this bullshit?”

Heyo, are there any songs you’ve released that have surprised you for not taking off? If so which ones? I always thought cherry picker would be one of your most recognized tunes, but I guess it could still happen.
Hmm…Not really. I tend to keep expectations low, in general. To the point where it’s like “I’ll be happy if anyone fucks with this…”
All the ones that have jumped out to me as the catchier songs , seem to end up eventually being the most popular songs. Insomniac olympics, Daylight, None shall pass, Music scene, The strain. Those all , in my mind, were “hits” when I made them. A few have been unexpected. I didn’t think “carnivores Unite” would be as popular as it has been. Some with “Which one of you jerks drank my arnold palmer?”.
I guess “Expiration date” didn’t take off like I thought it might. “The art of walking” too. But, really, I don’t make actual hits to it’s a non-issue.

I’m a big fan of your music and separately of your blog persona. Particularly I find the answers for questions and ask Dr. Tony sections fun. Based on how up front you are about calling out some people seeking advice for being naive, delusional, etc., I feel like generally you like/respect your question askers. I have the conflicting feeling that you are not the type that would be the one asking questions on a blog that you followed. Do you see what I’m getting at here? Do you relate to the people who ask for advice or does the fact that they are posting asking someone to help them with their problems on the internet distance them from you? Do you think you would be friends with any of the people you encounter on your blog? And specifically, if Dr. Tony were someone else, could you ever see yourself seeking his advice?

I’m not really one to ask for advice. I may not say or do the right thing in real life but i generally have a grasp on what that is. Also, what can a stranger tell me about me that I wouldn’t know myself? Advice, in general, is funny cause so many people seek it out but so few people actually act on it. I have friends who ask me for advice hear and there but , when it’s all said and done, they do whatever the fuck they were gonna do. To me, someone asking for advice is more just a way for them to say what they’re gonna say, under the guise of pretending they need your help. It’s more that people want a sounding board. I opt out of that. I know what needs to be done. Whether I do it or not, remains to be seen. But , I think I’m a very logical and level headed person (too a fault, even).
As for the part about “could I be friends with someone who asks a question on my blog”, it depends. Some people, I read and could tell that I probably wouldn’t wanna be in a room alone with them. Others seem totally cool. I relate to some of them very much and others I just roll my eyes at. It’s on a question to question basis for sure. But simply answering their questions doesn’t make me feel a distance or anything. Actually, I’d imagine , if I met some of these people, we could talk about these same problems in person and it would be all good.

How did you manage to continue working with aesop while he stayed at boston university? Just over the summer, or what?

We didn’t really “work together” like that at that point. We were friends. I’d see him over the summers and rap with him, we’d make songs together causally. But, it wasn’t until the summer before he graduated (where he lived in the city) and after when we really started busting out lots of music together. Once he was in NYC full time, things got rolling pretty quickly.

Two-part question:

A. How much worse are you at dealing with being sick (talking about your average cold or flu), than you girlfriend?

B. In very general terms, why are men so terrible at being sick, or are you guys only like that when you have wives/girlfriends? Why, Blockhead…why?!!

You may notice a theme evolving here in this weeks post but, when I’m sick, I want to be left alone. I’m not saying I handle it well (I’m miserable) but , in general, I’d rather be in complete solitude while the sickness is going on. Sure, someone can bring me soup and liquids or whatever but, at the same time, I can do that myself (delivery style). If I’m so sick that I can’t move, then MAYBE I’ll need some assistance. Otherwise, leave me be and I’ll see you when I’m better. It should also be noted that, I’m very sensitive to getting sick. If I feel some shit coming on for real, I shut it down. I don’t go out and tempt fate. I try and nip it in the bud as soon as possible. So, often, this will result in me seeming like a pussy cause I’m staying home with what seems like a minor head cold. But I’m not trying to make things worse.
As for men being terrible at being sick…I really didn’t know that was a thing. i’ve seen both sexes be needy and pathetic when they’re sick. I’d venture to say that’s more a personality trait than something based on sex. Perhaps you only date needy pathetic men?

My question is about manboobs. Or just overweight people in general. I work with some guys that are under 35, but in really bad shape because they cram fast food into their faces constantly. I wouldn’t care, but it’s just distracting trying to talk to someone with moobs. When someone has a lazy eye or burns on their face, I get self conscious about staring, because I don’t want to make them feel bad. But with the moobs, I have trouble holding my composure, and have nearly broken out laughing during a few conversations. Do manboobs make everyone uncomfortable or am I just a complete btichhole? How can I hold a conversation without laughing?

Can’t say I’ve given manboobs much thought. I mean, obviously, i’ve seen them but I tend to view the whole package of that person , over just the boy tits. Obese people are obese. You’re a man and you got tits, chances are, the rest of you is equally disastrous. I think you may just personally think man boobs are funny. I mean, it should reach a point where it’s not always hilarious but if that’s your thing, that’s how it’s going to be.
I’d imagine these poor tubby dudes aren’t too thrilled about it though.

“Bells and Whistles” Streaming now it’s in entirety! Peep it!

Yup, the good people at were kind enough to hook your boy up by streaming my new album “Bells and whistles” in its entirety (Shout out to Kyle Eustice!) . It comes out on most digital platforms on tuesday, November 18th. That’s next week, yo!
Anyway, here’s the Album! I hope you enjoy it.

Pre-order “Bells and Whistles” and other important info

So, as you may know, my new album “Bells and Whistles” is dropping next tuesday (november 18th). It’s a digital release for now but the vinyl will be coming a little later. My guess would be very early 2015. I don’t have pre-order info for that yet but, when I do, I’ll let it be known.
Until then, you can get your digital fix at bandcamp:

To answer other FAQ’s:
1)This album is not coming out on Ninja Tune. I’m putting it out myself. It’s a bold new world.
2)This album will be available at many different digital outlets. I-tunes, amazon, etc…So, if you’re not a bandcamp kinda person, you can get it there.
3)To people asking about Cd’s, as of now, there is no plan to make them. I know there is a handful of you who still buy them but, truth be told, this is all being self financed and I’m not trying to lose money on this just to make a couple cd’s for a few people. That said, I’m not writing off the idea. I might do a small run one day to sell at shows but I wanna feel everything else out first.
Anyway, I hope you like it. And it you haven’t peeped any of the leaks gets, check out my sound cloud page:

As well as this exclusive one Potholes in my blog premiered the other day:

See you on the 18th…digitally!

Demo Reviews vol. 59

Hi there. Welcome to another edition of Demo reviews. This is all music sent in by readers. Prior to sending it in, they were all warned that…well…i’m a tough critic. It’s not your fault. I’m old and over it. So, with that in mind, take this all with a grain of salt. If you’re curious about submitting your music, now is not the time. Submissions are closed for the time being but I will announce when that changes. It’ll be a month or two so don’t get too wound up about it.
The reviews work like so: I write a paragraph or two about the song. Then, I arbitrarily rate them from 1 to 10 in these categories-

It should be noted that anything over a 5 is actually not bad, comparatively. I think the highest rating anythings ever gotten was an 8 and that was a total fluke.
Listen. I’m am but one man. My opinion isn’t more important than yours. But i got a blog and you’re reading this so that’s how that goes.
It should also be noted I’m a little cranky this morning. Partially cause I just woke up but also cause I have to listen to a bunch of demo’s and that can be pretty hellish. This is a labor of hate, guys. But I do it for you.

Song: Pledged

This sounds like a track of the european version of the “Judgement night” soundtrack. It’s a little bit rock and roll and a little bit rap. I like the build up and the rapper improves as it goes but it sounds a little eminem-ish at times. and I don’t mean the rapper sounds like him. I mean , you know how all his songs are big building anthem attempts? I mean like that.
It’s actually not bad but , in general, these kinda rocked out tracks don’t really appeal to me.
Production:4.5 out of 10
Vocals:4.5 out of 10
Listenability:4.5 out of 10
Originality:4.5 out of 10

Artist: DIM
Song: Bright Ideas

At first , i really hated this beat but it’s not bad once it gets going. I think it was the intro. It threw off everything. Kinda unnecessary. It’s also a big grating after a while , like hearing the song they play at a merry go round over and over again.
The rapping is good but it sounds like a bunch of dudes from 1997. It’s dated , stylistically, but a few of them can rap pretty well. Some, not as much.
Production:4.5 out of 10
Vocals:5 out of 10
Listenability:5 out of 10
Originality:3 out of 10

Song: Manifestation

This is one of those beats that, from the first drum hit,I know is some stock sound shit. Bad drum sounds and weak synth plug ins. I mean, we all gotta work with what we got but, to me, those type of sounds often separate the people who are refined from those who aren’t, Outside of that, the beat is kinda sloppy regardless. The rapping isn’t much better. Sounds like a high guy babbling.
Production:2.5 out of 10
Vocals:3 out of 10
Listenability:3 out of 10
Originality:4 out of 10

song:First Chase

I don’t mind the instrumentation on this. Doesn’t seem fleshed out at all but it has some promise. The drums are terrible though. This could have more to do with how they’re recorded than the sounds themselves though. Just kinda flimsy and tinny.
Honestly, this just kinda sounds like a dude fucking around on a four track. It doesn’t really go anywhere in particular.
Production:4 out of 10
Listenability:4 out of 10
Originality:3.5 out of 10

Artist: Million Suns
Song:Press Play

This beat is dope. It’s very much on some golden age shit so it’s not exactly breaking new ground but it’s well made and catchy. The rapping is…i dunno…it’s not great. They aren’t off beat or anything but they also aren’t saying much. The singing is actually the best part, in my opinion. This is a case of a song that’s well made but , for my ears, a little corny. That said, I think a lot of shit is corny so I feel as though some people might actually be into this one.
Production:6 out of 10
Vocals:4 out of 10
Listenability:5 out of 10
Originality:3 out of 10

Artist:Citizen Xavier
Song: Shake the Earth (feat. Rustee Juxx)

This is pretty straight forward stuff. The beat reminds me of some public enemy/ultramagnetic kinda shit. It’s some rugged thugged out east coast shit. It’s not exactly a game changer but it’s solid for sure. The first two guys (one of whom is pretty well known) are the better rappers, in my eyes. The third guy was meh. Gotta say, I’m not a fan of when people send me demo’s featuring established rappers. Feels like a scapegoat to me.
Overall, if you’re into this kinda shit, you will like this song. if not, you will hate. I’m halfway on this kinda shit (I love MOP but I don’t really care for the Army of pharoahs kinda shit) so it falls in the middle for me.
Production:5 out of 10
Vocals:5 out of 10
Listenability:5 out of 10
Originality:4 out of 10

Artist: Blind Science
Song:Absence xf thxvght

Off the bat, I HATE how they spelled the song title. That shit is so corny. But, I’m not here to judge that.
The rappers are capable but , ultimately, uninteresting. Some of them are better than others. in fact, a few of them are fairly legit. Honestly, with a better beat, this song would have had a chance. It’s just dudes rapping, which is fine but the track is just sooooo whatever it is immediately tiresome. Maybe a remix is in order?
Production:3 out of 10
Vocals:5 out of 10
Listenability:4 out of 10
Originality:3.5 out of 10

Artist: Blinding Yellow
Song: Crossfire

This feels like music that might be good for a soundtrack. I could see a horror movie or even a mid-speed chase to this. That said, as stand alone music to be enjoyed, it leaves much to be desired. It’s not very fun to listen to , nor does it leave you with a particular mood. That said, it’s not badly made. It’s just kinda repetitive. I do like the piano part that comes in. It’s not even that creative but it sounds good and lessens the effect of the constantly stabbing bass tone.
Production:4.5 out of 10
Listenability:4.5 out of 10
Originality:4.5 out of 10

Artist:Shrapnel Screamo musics
Song: The empowerment

Ummmm….Nope. This is clearly a mistake and they meant to send this to the screamo band “Blockhead”. If that band exists, maybe they would love this.
CLEARLY, i’m not the audience for this type of music. They could be the Beatles of Screamo music for all I know.
Production:0 out of 10
Vocals:Didn’t make it long enough to find out
Listenability:-1000000 out of infinity
Originality:Who knows?

Artist: Youth in eyes
Song: Cash money

This guy definitely gets points for passion. Both in his energy and his political stances.
I appreciate it. I swear. He can rap well enough. That said, it’s very much out my wheelhouse. He sounds like one of those guys who will tell you that Jay-Z has never made a good song but owns a bunch of 311 albums from when he was a kid.
Anyway, the beat is okay. kinda chaotic but i suppose that fits the songs overall vibe.
This isn’t bad. I’m not the target audience. Also, the hint of a new england accent is kinda funny to me.
Production:5 out of 10
Vocals:5 out of 10
Listenability:4 out of 10
Originality:4.5 out of 10

So, what do you think?

This week in ridiculous rap: The Assassin

Screen shot 2014-11-11 at 10.26.11 AM
You know, I’ve been pretty dismissive of lots of european rap over the years. Admittedly, this is more of a personal taste thing. I don’t really hate it, I just don’t find myself wanting to listen to it. Because of this , I don’t try to focus on it much when finding ridiculous rap. It’s pointless and tends to just start arguments with people online I really don’t care to be having.
That said, every now and then, you get thrown a jewel. A reader submitted this artist to me and , man…thank you ,bro.
The Assassin comes to us from Cork Ireland. He’s..umm…kinda old. Well, lemme allow him to introduce himself to you

Okay, now that you’ve met and you have a little background. Let’s check out the music.

So, this is where it gets confusing. Is this some elaborate Tim and eric skit? Or is this real? As always, I’m torn. Cause While I think this would be a genius goof, I feel as though it’s definitely not. Which leads me to the same sad feeling I get watching “American Idol” auditions , when they cart out some obviously deranged person so laugh at.
Now, this guy doesn’t seem deranged as much as he’s just misguided. He’s no worse than some 55 year old dad who starts a band with some other 55 year old dads who, in the back of their minds, think they still got a chance to make it.
It’s kinda sad cause the videos obviously cost money. His songs ( “champion” in particular) are crafted to be some sort of Eminem like anthem. As if he envisioned this playing at soccer games or something. I mean, his fuckign sweatshirt says “Money” on it. So you know it’s serious biznassss.
I dunno. Wildly delusional people have always fascinated me. It’s an special skill to mute everything that goes on around you and proceed forward. While I can’t be in the same room with them in real life, watching them on my computer is like s sociological orgy in my mind.
This guy could be far more innocent than that though. He could just be a guy doing this for the love. Which is fine. No harm in that. I think what gets me the most about it is the time and effort he put into the promotional side of things. I wish I had that kind of gumption!
Whatever the case, The Assassin exists…and he’s here to win.