Monthly Archives: December 2014

Year in review 2014

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baby-new-year
Whelp, this year is finally over. Can’t say I’m too bummed about that. As I do every year, it’s time to sift through the crap and see what was popping over here at Phat Friend. This is a great way to perhaps read some posts you might have missed, peep some songs you didn’t know existed and basically see what this blog is all about, if you’re not initiated.

TOP POSTS
Let’s start out with 5 posts that got a lot of page clicks. For whatever reason. These are a mixed bag of fun write ups and lists.

1)You know, i bet she/he is alright
Maybe you can’t judge a book by it’s cover? In this post, I run down celebrities who, while I loathe what they do/create, I’d imagine are actually pretty cool people in real life. This is as positive as it gets around these parts.

2)Top ten types of people I meet at shows
In this post, I rundown the most common types of people I meet when I do my shows. i omitted the normal cool people cause that would be boring. Granted, they make up the majority but, you know, lemme have some fun.

3)I hooked up with Riff Raff Part 4
Continuing the popular series from last year, I ask girls who fucked rapper Riff raff some questions. I’m not trying to get dirt on the man as much as I’m trying to tear down the walls and see who’s behind the curtain. Spoiler alert: apparently, riff raff is riff raff.

4)Which Hip hop Gimmick with the best?
This is a walk down memory lane. I look at some of the best/worse gimmicks of 90’s hip hop and see which on stands as the greatest. Reader votes included.

5)Quality or quantity
This is a look at the age old discussion, but how it pertains to people who make beats/music. Admittedly,it’s not very funny but it’s food for thought at the very least. Especially for budding musicians.

RANTS
Admittedly, I don’t rant as much as I used to. Maybe I’m running out of shit to pretend to be mad at. Or maybe I’m just getting older and slowly beginning my transition to “man who yells at clouds” for good. Who knows. That said, it wasn’t an empty year for rants. Here are my five favorite rants I posted this year

1) Moby Leaves New York and the world stops for us all
This is a response to a “farewell and fuck off!” letter Electronic artist moby wrote upon leaving NYC to move to a little town called L.A.. I don’t think Moby ever read it though. Oh well…

2)Stop Snitching: instagram Edition
This post is a response to this time I posted a pic of my nephews bare ass (he’s 1.5 years old) and it got taken down off instagram. People are fucking ridiculous.

3)3)Things that are wrong with the world Vol. 30
In this edition , I go off on a terrible female white rapper from minnesota. It’s not her, it’s me…But , really, it goes way beyond this one lady.

4)4)Too much ass? Say it Ain’t so
It was the year of ass. I love ass. But , let’s be honest, it got a little fucking ridiculous.

5)A message to people being shitty on the internet
So many assholes out there hiding behind their laptops. It’s easy to be a terrible human being on line. This one is for those people.

STORY TIME
On a rare occasion, I can tell a story. In all reality, i don’t do much. I make music, chill with my friends, get drunk on occasion , play basketball until I injure myself and go on tour. That’s about it. But, there were a few things that popped off this year that needed to told to you.

1)Old people doing drugs
This is a recap of weekend where I went to a cabin with a bunch of my friends and did drugs. This doesn’t sound like much but, keep in mind, we’re all in your mid/late 30’s and , personally, i don’t do drugs anymore (much). So, this is a retelling of what it was like to return to that world after a 10 year hiatus.

2)Goddamn Wet Wipes aka the shittiest day
This is the story of the time my toilet decided to explode and destroy my home. This is actually still a slight issue and is not fully resolved but why not give you guys something to chuckle about. Warning: There is video included.

DA MUZIK
And what would this blog be without the music? It’s been a busy year for your truly so I have plenty to share…let’s start with the two releases I worked on:

My new solo album Bells and whistles. If you’re linked to any of my social networks, you should know that this came out last month. I’ve been certainly posting about it enough. The link above has all necessary info you will need to find that album. As well as the full thing streaming.

I also did an album with Philly rapper Marq Spekt that came out on Hipnott records.
It’s him rapping and me on the beats. If you like some straight up hard east coast type shit, this is for you. Peep our album “Justplaywitit”

Beyond the full lengths, I did a ton of remixes too. Here’s links to those:
Hott Nigga Remix
Nina Simone mega mash up
I remixed a song for Little People
A bonus track from the Marq Spekt album featuring Aesop rock and Open Mike Eagle
A mash up of “Sunny” That i do live, recorded for your pleasure
A remix for the band The Skins. Taking some rock and roll and making it more blockheadish.

Finally, let’s not forget that I occasionally give away music. Why? Cause i love you.
Here are some compilations I gave away. Music of my own and by others…
My favorite songs of the year
All the songs I produced with rappers (excluding aesop songs)
A ton of random , hard to find remixes I’ve done from over the years

And that’s it! hope your new year is great and see you all on the other side.
XOXOXOXOXO

Yay or Nay: Soopah Eype

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It’s weird to say but I’ve reached a point in my rap listening life where it’s hard for me to get into overly “lyrical” mc’s. This isn’t to say there aren’t a plethora of rappers I enjoy who fit this description , it’s more a case of me not really checking for new ones. Generally, if i hear a rapper rapping a certain way, nowadays, I’ll acknowledge he’s good but probably skip putting him into my Ipod rotation. That said, there are exceptions. Today’s “Yay or Nay” is one.
Coming from Portland, Oregon, Soopah Eype has apparently been around for a while now. I actually just learned about him last week while glossing over some random top ten lists for this year. He released a new album on bandcamp called “better off dread”. The person who wrote the album up described him as a west coast Billy woods so that perked my ears up a little. Well, after checking his stuff out, I don’t really see the comparison but I can say that dude is a pretty great rapper. He’s got all the tools. Great voice, great flow, great presence and he’s not rapping just to be rapping. On top of that, he’s got good taste in beats. He’s a rappy rapper, if that makes sense. He’s not gonna hit you with barz but his verses definitely take some focus to follow. My only critique of him would be his visual representation isn’t particularly strong. His videos are kinda whatever. Honestly, that shit doesn’t bother me at all (and I can relate) but sometimes it’s a small thing like that will keep a good rapper from getting the exposure he deserves. Sadly, that’s how the state of music is right now.
Anyway, here are a few of his videos and joints from his new album.
You can peep the whole album and download (name your price!) right HERE




I should also add I’m not 10% sure how to pronounce his name. Anyone that wants to clarify that, lemme know.

So, what do you think? (btw, you can vote for more than one thing in these polls so don’t feel tied to one answer)

Answers for questions vol. 219

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What’s up everyone?
OMG can you believe it’s almost 2015?I can’t even! ROFL! I, like, haven’t even started on my resolutions from last year! I guess next year will be the year I stop smoking and lighting homeless people on fire while they sleep. Fingers crossed!
Anyway, welcome to another edition of “Answers for questions”. It’s simple. You ask stuff, and I answer it. If you would like to be a part of the magical whimsy, shoot me a question or two. Either email it to me at phatfriendblog@gmail.com or leave the questions in the comment section below. This week is an intersting one. More “random” than usual. I like it. Check it out…

What’s your take on Kirk Cameron? hahaha like what is the DEAL with that guy?

Is it to easy to just call him a crazy person and be done with it? I mean, at the core, that’s what I think of him. Really, any off the wall ,over the top religious person is a lunatic in my eyes. With Cameron, you can literally see it in his eyes. He’s not there. The workers have checked out but someone left a light on.
One thing I’ve been curious about, concerning him, is when did all this jesus freak shit start with him? I’m too lazy/don’t care enough to google it but was he always that guy? If so, how did he hide it while on “Growing Pains”? I definitely recall him marrying that hot girl who played his girlfriend on the show and thinking “That makes sense” but I suppose she could have been a jesus freak too. It’s too late now but someone could have made a great documentary on the evolution of Kirk Cameron. Well, maybe not the evolution. I’m sure he hates that word.

what do you think of producers like timbaland?

I thought you said you like the 1st clipse album. Which was the neptunes

I think missy and tim make some pretty unique hip hop

Does blockhead listen to a timbaland beat and be like. I can make that or do you kind of respect it for what it is even though it’s not like boom bap?

Or is this dumb and I should punch my own balls now ?

Timbaland and the Neptunes are awesome. Easily two of the most important and original producers of my lifetime. They may be two of the only hip hop producers who made consistently good pop music. Anyone who hates on either of those two , in a historic sense, has no fucking idea what they’re talking about. I will say that I never liked missy though. Those songs were good cause of the beats, not cause of that nursury rhyme bullshit she was rapping over them.
If I listen to a timbaland beat, I don’t think for a moment that I could do that. He’s a different level than me in pretty much every way. Dude is a genius.

Why do you think Canadians say “sorry” so much? (sorry)

I’d say that all goes back to them being so fucking polite all the time. They’re not an aggressive people. Sometimes saying “sorry” when it’s not necessary is done to defuse any possible negative interaction. At the same time, saying “Sorry” too much is also something abused people do. It’s hard to say.
I know I apologize on the basketball court more than I probably should and I do it just to make other feels better and not get down on themselves. So perhaps canadians are all about just making others around them feel better about things? They’re just sooooooooo nice.

Who would be more difficult to work with (if you were in the acting biz), Mike Myers or Bruce Willis?

I know a few people who know Mike Myers and they say he’s a totally sweet, quiet guy. Where as I’ve heard Bruce willis is somewhat of a prick. Which makes sense…So, I’d go with Myers. In general, I’d bet the comedic people are easier to get along with than the movie star people.

How comfortable are you holding a baby?
Hmm…At first I’ve very uncomfortable. It also depends on who’s baby it is. The better I know the parents, the more comfortable I am. Which is odd cause you’d think that would make me worry more about dropping the kid. Also, it depends on how little the baby is. I’m not trying to hold your new born. Them shits are way too fragile. But, outside of “hot off the presses” babies, once I get a hang of it, I’m good to hold that baby until my arms get tired. Which is like, I dunno, 4 minutes. Then you can have your baby back. Thank you and good day.

What is the suckiest part of winter for you – the temperature, the ground, or the amount of daylight?

I’d go with the temperature. When it gets below 30 degrees, it makes me not wanna leave me house. The amount of daylight doesn’t really effect me as i’m more of a night owl anyway. And the ground? Well, snow is fine when it’s happening and shitty for a few days afterwards but I own boots so it’s no big deal.

How much do you care about The Simpsons?
At this point in my life? Not a single tiny bit. I haven’t watched the simpsons in probably 15 years. I used to LOVE that shit but then , for no particular reason, i stopped caring. It’s one of those things that I fully recognize it’s brilliance, respect the shit out of it but simply never feel like partaking in it. Like voting and reading. I certainly would never look down on anyone who was a huge simpsons fan. I’m more of a south park guy though.

Would you spend 1 month in the clink for unlimited food at every restaurant . (Only can get food for yourself)

Ummm….Nah, b.
I love food. I love it so very much but I’m not trying to go to jail to get more of it. I was talking to my girl the other day, after spending too much money on a meal, about how I’m okay with blowing cash on food. It’s the only thing I ever splurge on and it’s worth it to me. Also, I’m a glutton. If you give me the option to eat as much as I can, I will. That’s not good for anyone. I’m trying to not be a rolly-poly fat fuck so the less free food the better.

Demo Reviews: Best of 2014

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Well, what a year it’s been.
I can’t believe I reviewed all the demo’s and I’m still here to talk about it. I figured a disgruntled artist woulda got me by now…or perhaps I’d take my own life to avoid having to keep reviewing demos. Either way, i’m still standing!
This is not about that though. This is where we get to see the cream of the crop. These are the best demo’s of year. If you’re curious how they got chosen, it’s simple.
I based it on my personal ratings and fan voting. If both coincided on some level, the song made it to the “best of” stage. Sometimes a song would get low votes but a high grade by me or vice versa so I just used common sense to pick which songs got in.
Now, i need you to vote on the best one. There is a rap category and an Instrumental category. Vote in each! The winners get a sloppy blow job from me. Just kidding. They might get a tweet or something though. Which is pretty much an internet version of a sloppy blow job.
So check them out!

Rap Songs:

Artist: Galactic Brethren

Song: Time Bandits

A nice understated beat. A good variety of rap styles. This one won’t blow you away but it’s undeniably solid. Sure, some of the rappers are better than others but that’s how this all works. This one also gets points for how it’s put together. Well recorded and not just dudes rapping over a loop. it’s a legit song.

Artist: Aralass

Song: Cloudcatchers

Can’t help but see this name and think of Arli$$ from HBO.
Anyway, This is a great example of some mellow minimal stuff.
The break between verses is a bit long for my taste but, if you’re a person who’s into scratching , it’ll be your shit.
The first rapper is definitely the stronger of the two but the second guy doesn’t bring it down too much.

Artist:Mic Capes

Song:Never stop


This was the song I gave the highest score to of all the demos of this year.
it’s funny cause , listening to it now, it’s definitely good but not that great. It’s well made, well recorded and well executed. That said, it’s not exactly blowing my mind. I guess it just goes to show how effective covering all your bases can be. I must have been in an especially pragmatic mood the day i reviewed it. That said, there is really nothing wrong with this song and that in itself is a rarity for these demo reviews.

Artist: Dead the poets

Song:Xanax colored cadillac
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This is just a likable, drugged out joint. The first rapper , to me, is one of the better dudes you'll ever hear in these demo reviews based entirely off his presence , voice and overall swagger. The second dude is solid too.
The beat is a pretty simple loop with some small changes but it is perfect for the kind of song they made.
After re-visiting all these, this one might be my favorite of the year.

Artist: MicP

Song: Going spam in Lala Land

This one got in more for the beat than the rapping. Not to say the rapping is bad. it’s pretty good, actually. But this beat is my shit. the rapper does a good enough job over it to make it stand out as one of the years overall best demos.

Artist: Diogenes Ft. Barfly

Song:Pistols at dawn

This is the opposite of the one above. It’s more about the rapping. The beat is solid but , ultimately, not particularly interesting. The rappers are seemingly high as fuck but it’s working for them. While it’s flawed, they are a few better choices away from making a really dope song.

Artist: Lucid optics

Song: Mind of psilocybin

This one got a lot of votes. I liked it enough but wasn’t that into the rappers voice. He can rap well and the weird ass beat definitely works for me. It’s a bugged out song. i can see why it got the votes it did.

Artist: Matt Black

Song: Champloo

Very well made all around. So much so i questioned if the beat was actually made by them or not. Well, no one said it wasn’t so I assume it’s an original. That’s dope. The rapping is secondary here but still good enough to keep the song going.

So, which is your favorite?

Instrumental:
Artist:Furbie Cakes

Song: Vacation Trees

Nice mellow vibe. Distinctively european sounds. Like, I could hear it in coffee shops.
The horn line is dope.
More than anything, it evolves nicely and doesn’t drag too much.

Artist: Geovybe

Song:Groove with me


This is more a right up the middle instrumental track. Soul samples, chops, and some good break downs. It’s solid all the way around , if not particularly original.

Artist:Agrume de Cerveau

Song:Looking for the magical toad

This is probably my personal favorite instrumental track. It’s just really well done and interesting. It’s not perfect or anything but i really like where he went with this. It’s definitely a song where you start somewhere and end somewhere else.

Artist: Geniusenis

Song:Every Generation

This starts off just sounding like a melancholy rap track but flips into some somewhat EDM shit. I typically don’t get too into that kinda stuff but he does a nice job with it. Sure, it’s just some simple chops but it’s well executed.

Artist: Mental Effector

Song: Naive

This 100% got in due to fan votes. In my review i more comment on how it’s good but not really my cup of tea. Well, apparently it was your cup of tea. That early 80’s r&b steeze is dope and definitely on display here.

Which is your favorite?

My favorite songs of 2014

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top-ten
As much as I think year end lists are bullshit, I’m not above them. Let me live and, in turn, allow me to give you a mix of songs to bump, in case you zoned out and forgot to listen to music this year. Hey, it happens.
Despite what people will say every year, it was actually a good year for rap music. The last few years have been. Lots of creative output coming from all over the country and people don’t seem to be mailing it in like they were 5 years ago.
Just to clarify about this list:
1)These are in no specific order
2)I did not include music by people I know or music I worked on. Meaning Hail Mary Mallon, Armand Hammer, Open Mike Eagle , Marq Spekt and Run the Jewels (and others) were all excluded. Why? Cause, even though they all made music that would have easily made this list, I’m kinda sick of musicians making top ten lists that are 80% their friends. If you know about me, you know about these guys. This is more about exposing you to some stuff you might have missed.
3) These are my ‘Favorite”. Not to be confused with the “best”. Nothing in my musical taste is so definitive that I can come out here and claim it’s the best. These are the joints I bumped a lot. That’s all. It’s not that deep.
4)I picked one song per artist. There were a few artists who probably would have had 2 or 3 songs on the list but I opted to spread the love.
5)There’s a chance a song or two on this list came out last year. Well, blow me. I enjoyed them this year so I’mma go with what I know!
Okay? Great.
Here’s my ten favorites. Download link is at the bottom.

1)Martyrs: Mick Jenkins
Chicago based MC, Mick Jenkins, dropped a strong album this year. While, at times, he gets a little preachy for me, when he hits, it works incredibly well. This song is just a showcase for his booming voice , sharp social commentary and keen ear for beats. It’s grower for sure.

2)Snow Beach: Ratking
RatKing represent the new New York. Unlike other younger “underground” NYC mc’s , they’re not trying to bring back that 90’s sound while rapping on skateboards. They’re approaching it from a much different angle. Sonically, they didn’t really sound like anything else this year. Beat wise, it’s decidedly more abelton live than it is MPC. And Wiki sounds like a reborn version of Cage from the mid 90’s, all while rapping nothing like him. This song in particular strikes a chord with me cause it’s about the city being overrun with NYU kids and other transplants, thus changing the face of the city in a negative way. I feel you, brah.

3)Le feat. OVA: Ugly Frank
This one came out of nowhere. Well, to be exact, it came out of Tacoma Washington. It’s just a fun song where Ugly Frank Raps his ass off over a beat that reminds me of “Nigga what?” by Jay-z but happier. Ugly Frank was definitely one of the more pleasant surprises for me this year.

4)Either you here or with god: Shirt
Shirt Come out guns blazing this year with a video that got some buzz and very solid “mixtape”. He’s an artist I had trouble just picking one song from. I chose this one cause it’s just got such an ill vibe to it. The beat, in particular, is really crazy to me. Not sure if he borrowed it from someone for his mixtape or if it’s original but , whatever the case, he does it justice. Shirts one of those mc’s that make “cocky asshole” work.

5)House Cleaning- Michael Christmas
Aesop put me on to this guy and I fell in love with his album “Is this art?”. He’s definitely the most likable mc of the year for me. Dope beats, laid back funny attitude and just an overall great rapper. His arrow is pointing up and I wouldn’t be surprised to see him much more famous a year from now.

6)Undying- Quelle Chris
Much like Michael Christmas, Quelle Chris is an extremely likable guy who makes good music. He’s got a great ear for beats (And he makes many of them too). Detroit hip hop has been a force over the last few years and he’s no exeception.

7)Shots: Vince Staples
Without question, he’s my #1 rapper of the year. He put out an amazing mixtape and a great EP and pretty much bodied every track he was on. He’s not an mc with “barz” but he’s a rapper who simply sounds cool saying anything. He often gets compared to a new snoop dogg, and I can see it, except he’s a better rapper than Snoop ever was. This song is literally one of 8 I could have chosen but I picked it cause the beat is murderous. Just some slow grind psych rock sample with hard drums.

8)48th Street: Your Old Droog
What a year this dude had. For the first half every dumb ass conspiracy theorist (shout out to the dumbest of all who was all up in my comment section) thought he was Nas when, really, the only thing they had in common was a raspy voice. His debut album is chock full of great loops and Y.O.D. relentlessly rapping his ass off. This song, however, is an strange one. It’s Y.O.D. rapping about his love of guitars and an ode to 48th street in manhattan (where all the music stores are/used to be). It’s possibly the oddest topic for a rapper to cover in recent memory but , when accompanied with the slow cooking of the beat is just makes perfect sense. I do wonder if he can actually play a guitar though.

9)Motion Sickness: Shabazz Palaces
Hey guys, weirdo rap hasn’t left us! Shabazz Palaces continued making music that might fly over my head but still catches my ear. This song is a sneaky one. Ish kills it and really embraces the subtle oddity of the track. Also, this track reminds me that I really gotta check out that Clipping album. To be honest, I’ve been kinda intimidated to even approach it. But, i digress…Shabazz Palaces is an example of an old rapper who is constantly evolving. How many mc’s who dropped a hit in 91 can say that? None. Literally. He’s the only one left making relevant music. (Doom might be included here too but he’s trapped in the UK and not making much these days)

10) Godlike- Tree
He made my favorite album of last year and this year he dropped an EP and some loose tracks. This one is just as mellow as it gets. Simple drums over a lazy piano loop. Sometimes that’s all you need.

Download songs here:
https://www.sendspace.com/file/9hi4qh
Alternate link:
http://www36.zippyshare.com/v/18755690/file.html

Answers for questions vol. 218

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rabbit-xmas
Can you feel that? That holiday spirit? Me neither. I almost forgot christmas was in a few days until I was reminded a festive drink menu at a local bar.
I hope you and yours have a good holiday. Eat food. Get gifts. Whatever.
Side note: I got some shows coming up next year. Check these dates. I’m hitting a lil’ west coast. Some middle america, a little midwest…
http://blockheadmusic.com/ Also, I’m waiting to hear about some european dates in late february/early march. I’ll let you know when those are official.

Oh yeah…Welcome to another edition of “Answers for questions”. You ask, I answer. As always, I’d love you to contribute. If you’d like to ask me anything, get creative and send me questions to my email: Phatfriendblog@gmail.com or leave it in the comment section below. Have fun with it, bro.
Let’s see what we got working today…

I have a big pet peeve for rappers saying some shit in an attempt to sound smart but not making any sense. A particular line from Cannibus comes to mind. It’s the hook for his song with common where he says, “I am your worst nightmare squared that’s double for n#ggas who aint mathematically aware.”

The only occasion when a number times two (double) and a number squared are the same thing is with the number two. 1 squared is 1 and 3 squared is 9, neither are doubled by squaring them. What makes it worse is he’s dissing others for not being up on their math skills while clearly not being up on his own.

Is it right to nitpick so intensely about rap lines? Should rappers be called out when they say some shit to sound smart that is just factually incorrect?

Oh I think rappers should be called out all the time for shit like that. Anyone should. People who go out of their way to sound smart but are actually kinda morons is something that’s been going on in rap for a minute now. Think of all those underground rappers from the late 90’s/early 2000’s whose whole style was based on them being “Mystical and lyrical”. It was a bunch of dudes telling you they are deep and smart but never showing it. I can’t front, I think all of us who were rapping in that style did a lot of that though. I sure as hell did , back when I still rapped.
On the other hand, you got rappers who I don’t consider dumb who make some simple errors. Like the RZA can’t pronounce the “Benevolent” or Nas refer to “Sly stone in cobra”. Those are more just basic fuck ups. It’s the ones who think they’re bringing lofty ideas to the table but speaking out their asses that really need to get checked.

What up Block? As a producer that used to rap I was wondering if you ever write anymore, bust a rhyme while you’re making a ham sandwich or get around your friends and freestyle just for fun?
Never. A decent line will pop in my head every now and then but then it fades away pretty quickly. At best, I’ll jokingly tweet it. I used to freestyle all the time too but I feel like I would be awful at this point.
I dunno. when I stopped rapping seriously, I did it with conviction. It was not my calling.

What are your top three beverages?
1. Honest tea green tea- I drink this all the time. I love it.
2. Water- Yup. I drink tons of water. I buy bottled water pretty regularly and it’s one of the few norms in my fridge.
3. Ginger ale- I don’t drink it that much but it’s the only soda I drink with any regularity. Pretty much , only with dinners on occasion.
Shout out to yerba mate tea (I drink it before I play ball sometimes and it feels like I’m on cocaine) and Gus’s cranberry/lime soda. That shit is dope.

Thanks to you I have a number of downloaded Nina Simone songs on my phone. What’s your opinion on the controversy of Zoe Saldana playing her in the upcoming film?
Zoe-Saldana-Nina-Simone-300x213
Twinnnnnnz!
It’s an odd choice. I mean, Saldana is a beautiful, skinny, light skinned girl. Simone was dark, had a normal build and definitely wasn’t the prettiest woman I’ve ever seen. That said, sadly, there aren’t exactly a ton of actresses who can sell a movie who look like Nina Simone. I mean, surely they could find someone who’s a little closer to Simone in a few ways but maybe they’ll do to Saldana what they did to Charleze Theron in “Monster” and cover her with prosthetics.
I feel as though this is more a “hollywood” problem as the point o movies is to make money. To make money, you have to draw a crowd. To draw a crowd you have to have someone who appeals to a wide range of people. All these things work against this movie being successful. If they had casted an unknown actress who looked more like Simone, I doubt the movie ever gets made. That’s the unfortunate reality of shit like this.
To be honest, I’m equally concerned with her acting chops as I am with how little she resembles Simone. She’s a good enough actress , i guess, but that role just doesn’t make sense for her.
At the end of the day, most music biopics are pretty bad and leave a lot to be desired. i don’t see this being much different.

Were you a Columbia House cd subscription member back in the day?
I think I did it a few times but it was cassettes. My problem with Columbia house was that they had a really shitty rap selection so it never appealed to me. At that time, I only fucked with hip hop shit so getting the eagles greatest hits and INXS albums wasn’t exactly a big draw for me.

What’s the average gender breakdown at your
shows? It’s amazing how male-heavy some of your peers’ shows end up being, but I’d guess that the attendance at yours is more balanced?

It depends. I’d say there is always a good amount of girls at my shows. Not 50% but it’s a rarely a depressing sausage fest. On occasion, though, it will be pretty bro’d out. The last one i remember was Minneapolis earlier this year. There must have been like 10-15 girls there tops and the rest were dudes. No clue why that was but it happened. Then, other nights, you’ll be shocked. I did a sunday show in Jacksonville florida, expecting the worst, and it was full of girls. hot ones too.
I will say that , aside from being pleasurable to the eye, the more girls, the better the show is cause girls dance. and when girls dance, guys follow. If just starts a positive domino effect that I always appreciate.

What other country would you choose to move to judging by their food?

Depends how fat I’m trying to get. If i’m going for both health and flavor, Japan. i could eat ramen and sushi forever. And that’s just the tip of the iceberg with their cuisine.
If I’m just going all out and trying to die from a heart attack by age 50, I’m going with italian. It’s the best. I wish I could eat it constantly but , sadly, I almost never eat it cause it’s so terrible for me. But , in a perfect world, I’m stuffing my face with italian food all day.

Ask Dr. Tony Vol. 42

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Hellooooooo. It’s time once again for “Ask Dr. Tony”. I’m not licensed to drive, let alone give you any sort of real life answers but, you know what? Fuck all that. I’m a level headed and honest guy. I will tell you how it is without petting your fragile ego. At least as I see it.
So, if you have any life problems that an aging hip hop producer might be able to help you with, send them my way. Email me questions- phatfriendblog@gmail.com or leave them in the comments below. It’s all anonymous. This is a safe place.

Greetings blockhead. Need an opinion. So I broke up with girl A around new years and parted ways. Was planning on marrying this one but didn’t happen since she became a drug addict and things got ugly. Well after this break up she moved back with mom and dad across the country and we remained friends. Now she’s clean, back on her feet and offered to fly me down for my birthday in march. Well after said plans I started seeing girl B and things are going well. Basically I know if I go I’ll end up cheating on girl B, if we’re still together, and that will turn me into a scumbag. Basically I have 0 physical resistance to girl A. What’s a guy to do???

Hmm…I hate to be vague guy over here but that really depends on you. Do you see a future with girl B? Or is she just someone you like enough to hang around with but don’t really want a long term life with? Also, what’s the end game with Girl a? Could you be with her again, now that she’s clean? Is that even possible , considering she no longer lives near you?
Seems to me, from a logical standpoint, you’d be flying out to see this girl just to have sex with her, in spite of your current relationship. There’s no future in that. However, if Girl B is not someone you think of as a long term person , then maybe this is your way of weaseling out of that relationship.
All I can say is, if you do go see girl A, break up with girl B first. It’s the honorable thing to do. If you’re too much of a pussy to do that, then just cheat. Cause it clearly seems like you have your mind made up.

So I’ve fallen in like with this girl. Problem is she’s on Twitter. She doesn’t exist in reality. She’s almost like a fantasy. She’s a beautiful Russian/Jewish woman from Canada and I just can’t get enough of her. She’s smart, insightful, a sense of humor, easy to talk to. I’ve gone so far as to DM her and even exchange emails so I can show her some stuff I write from time to time. Oh, and she’s mentioned a boyfriend. So the realist in me says the DMs/convos are nothing more than a friendly gesture. She’s like 30, older woman, in a relationship, different country and who knows what the Fuck else. We live our separate lives. But there’s another side of me that says Fuck it if all of these things are true and I can’t make the relationship progress any further why not tell her how I feel? What have I to lose but the specter of an internet relationship that couldn’t have gone anywhere anyhow? So my main questions are should I tell her? And how do you feel about this social network era we’re living in? Doesn’t this aspect of it suck?

Bro, back away from the computer and let her be.
You ever been talking to a girl at a bar and within minutes of the harmless conversation she mentions her boyfriend? That’s code for “This is just friendly and nothing else. Don’t get the wrong idea”. If a person makes their significant other known it’s for a reason. It is only another way when they bring it up but start complaining about that person. Then I could see why your ears might perk up. But that doesn’t sound like what’s going on here at all.
My guess would be she’s friendly and doesn’t view you as anything more than an internet acquaintance. She’s older, taken and doing fine in life. I don’t imagine she’s trolling twitter for dick from dudes in other countries. That said, if this is something you can’t hold in, there is 100% no harm in letting her know. The downside of that, however, is that she will most likely reject you and never interact with you again. Cause, as little as you have got to lose by telling her, is as little as she’s got to lose by politely saying “No thanks” then blocking you on all social networks.

Hey tony, my boyfriend and i have been goin strong for about 7 or 8 months, no complaints, very content together. I feel shallow even thinking this but the way he eats drives me insane. He chews with his mouth open loudly and will talk while pigging out. He also has a fungus on both his big toes that i know he could treat with some effort. Is there a way i can tell him or things i can do to nudge him in the right direction? Im not the best at being delicate sometimes i tend to be blunt about things but i dont want to come off asa controlling bitch. Please help

Hmm…shitty habits of your partner. That’s a tough one. I’d say the toe thing is more likely fixable. It effects his health and is clearly disgusting. So, even though he may be a gross person who willingly lives with toe fungus, perhaps all he needs is a push. Maybe link him with a podiatrist and make up some scary toe fungus facts that might scare him into fixing the issue.
As for the eating thing…that’s harder. I think you fully have the right to say something to him but it’s impossible to not make it sound like nagging. That’s something a mom would nag her son about. That’s a tricky dynamic to pull off. No girlfriend wants to be like a mother to her man. Well, some do but that’s an entirely different topic. Sadly, this problem with how he eats is more your problem than his in that I bet he doesn’t even realize he does it and couldn’t stop if he wanted to. You just happen to be grossed out by it (understandably so). So, you could say something to him about for sure…I just wouldn’t expect much results. Also, your boyfriend sounds like a total fucking slob.

Dear Tony,

So I’ll start from the top. I met a girl about 2 years ago through going to shows. We started seeing each other more and more and I eventually asked her out on a date. We hit it off immediately, but both of us had reservations about having a real relationship. I’ll also note that she has a kid from a previous relationship, and she has told me that she cheated in her previous relationship.

As we hung out more and more, we eventually fell into a relationship and it was pretty amazing at first. However, this girl is extremely flirtatious and has trouble turning down attention from the opposite sex, whether I am within view or not. I tried and tried to contain my jealousy, but its a real emotion and I should have taken the way it made me feel more seriously. Her selfishness doesn’t allow room for considering other’s feelings. RED FLAG

Anyways, she acted on some opportunities in more than one situation. To my knowledge, she says she has never slept with anyone while we were together, but my idea of cheating includes seeking any level of intimacy with someone other than your partner. She had a little fling when on a family vacation, which I found out about way after the fact. Then we went to a festival in another country, and I caught her making out with this random guy on the ground. In that situation, I think she actually got roofied, and I don’t know what would have happened if I hadn’t found her. Still doesn’t excuse her putting herself in that situation. RED FLAG

We took a break after that, but ended up back together again. Then she ALMOST got in a threesome with a dysfunctional couple, but removed herself from the situation and called me and said how bad she felt. That was strike three, and I know I should have ended it there but I made a pact that if it happened again I would end it. RED FLAG

Well, then we decided, lets get a place together! Cause that will magically solve things. I still can’t figure out why she agreed to do it if she wasn’t willing to commit. I tried to get over her past indiscretions, but my trust was gone. I ended up looking at her Facebook messages and told her (it ended up being an old set of messages from before we were dating) but she threatened me by saying “I’ll give you a reason not to trust me!” RED FLAG

She ended up going to a show with friends from work on a Friday and I had a bad feeling. I asked her the next day if she had kissed anyone, and she said no. The next morning I woke up and remembered a dream where she left me for another guy. RED FLAG

We go to dinner with her friends from work (she tried to back out), and I noticed she was talking to another guy a lot. Didn’t think much of it until she was texting nonstop on the way home. We get into bed and she says we are moving too fast and one of us needs to move out (1 year and 10 months into the relationship). I ask if there is another guy and she says yes. I considered entertaining an open relationship, but my lack of trust and her lack of respect will likely prevent that from ever working.

Phew. That was a lot. Anyways, on to my question: I have broken up with her, but we still live together. We still run in the same crowd and go to the same shows. How do I truly end this in a peaceful manner and move on? How do I stop thinking that I still need her in my life? I feel like we could be friends eventually, but dragging this out now may kill that chance.

She’s clearly not a girl you can ever seriously date. Look at all the red flags (side note: you having a dream about her leaving you doesn’t count as a red flag).
I realize this is much easier to see and rationalize from the outside looking in but I feel as though resentment alone should have driven you away from this girl. Is she that great? Is the pussy that bomb? To me, she sounds like a nightmare. Dating a girl who is a flirt is never easy but add on that she’s a born cheater and you might as well just jump off a building instead of instilling any trust or emotion into her.
The best way to peacefully move on is let her be. Let her do what she’s gonna do and don’t take it personal. She’s gonna do the same shit to the next guy. Sadly, there is no real way to stop how you feel and stop your mind from thinking about what could be. The best you can do is always focus on the bad shit and apply it to your life. Like “Hmm…she cheated on me a lot and made me feel like an insecure piece of shit”. Or “There is no way in hell I could ever truly trust this person”.
Dude, she had you considering polyamory and I’m willing to bet she didn’t even put it on the table. That’s was you just grasping at straws to keep her.
Forget being friends. If that happens it happens, For the time being you just gotta be cordial but uninvolved in her life. Trust me, there are plenty of girls who will go to shows with you.

This week in ridiculous rap: Viper the rapper

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Here we have Houston rapper Viper. He’s got the dark corners of the internet buzzing.
He raps as if he’s nervously inhaling while telling a secret. His videos are shot on cameras that I’m fairly certain don’t exist anymore. That said, he can dunk a basketball (This is something I will always respect in any musician. I’m not even remotely joking) and he’s got a pretty girl in his video who, although she can’t sing, at least looks nice on a jungle gym.



Again we are faced with something in which I honestly can’t call. Is it real? is it a joke?
Andy Kaufman really fucked with our heads. So much so that I feel as though we are forced to question everything. For every Riff Raff, there is a “It’s so cold in the D”. And who are we to say what is and isn’t art? I would even argue that , if this is made in earnest, it’s as pure as art gets. Much like Daniel Johnston or Wesley Willis. Crazy people are not influenced by things outside their own minds. Sure, they draw inspiration from all over but, creatively, the mentally ill are some of the most amazing minds you will come by. Now, is Viper one of these guys? I have no clue. I’m leaning towards no cause, well…he just doesn’t come off as crazy. More just oblivious. Either way, it’s special in some way or another.

Peep Self Says new EP “Sleeves”!

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Hey there. My homeboy Self Says, out of detroit, just put out some new music and you should peep it. He dropped an ep called “Sleeves” and it’s preeeeeeetty pretty dope.

If you’re unfamiliar with his work, he’s been doing good shit for a while now, quietly dropped an ep here and there. I’ve done a few songs with him in the past and look forward to working with him more.
Here’s a link to some of his older stuff and a few of the songs I did with him:
http://music.selfsays.com


Check it all out. There lots of good music in that link! And props to Self on the new release!

Answers for questions vol. 217

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G’day mate! That’s for my Aussie peoples.
How’s life? Great.
Anyway, this is answers for questions. You asked me stuff so I answered it. I’m always in need of more questions so don’t be shy. Ask me anything. Either email me the questions phatfriendblog@gmail.com or leave them in the comment section below. Get creative. It’s more fun when you do that.
Let’s check this weeks batch…

Have you ever found yourself feeling really grimy after masturbation? Idk what it is lately but right after I bust, I feel this short wave of disgust crash over me.

I think that’s a common feeling. There’s a certain grossness to the act that makes us all shudder a tiny bit , once the deed is done. Perhaps it’s the clean up process. Or maybe it’s the porn streaming on your computer that no longer is the even the slight bit exciting. In fact, it’s the best case ever for the “command”/Q option on computers (at least on apple) that shuts shit down immediately. Personally, the second I’ve “finished” I command/Q whatever is on so I don’t have to look at it any more. It’s not cause I’m ashamed of what I just watched but, really, if you look at porn outside of the context of something that will help you get off, it’s pretty fucking disgusting.
Slightly related note, this is why dudes who watch a lot of porn when they aren’t masturbating are weird fucking creeps. That just makes no sense. Porn exists to aid masturbation (or sex, I guess). Just sitting around and having it on is like a person who watches cooking shows all day but never wants to eat.

I was wondering what your opinion is on Albini’s take on the state of the music industry. http://www.theguardian.com/music/2014/nov/17/steve-albinis-keynote-address-at-face-the-music-in-full

Specifically, you just self-released your first album outside of a major (or otherwise) label, but have experience from within the machine. Also, on your most recent blog post you made a snarky comment about Spotify and how its going to earn you 15 cents while at the same time have mentioned in the past that you figured out the secret to success was grinding out the tours.

I’m gonna be 100% honest with you. I just woke up and really don’t feel like reading this whole thing. I read a few paragraphs but my ADD and general disinterest in reading long things on the internet kicked in and I bailed out. So, I really don’t know what Albini’s take is. From the parts I read, he seems to be leaning towards everything being fine. Okay. I could see that. Kinda. He’s from a different era , background and genre than I am so I really don’t know if the problems I have in the music industry are the same as him. I deal with sampling laws. I’m an indie artist. Always have been. When I started, the indie rap boom was upon us and dudes were moving units. This meant I made money on records I worked on. a partially cause they sold but also cause of how indie record labels crafted their deals. They were more artist friendly. Less tiny writing on contracts and more simplified. When internet downloading REALLY took off, I noticed money stopped coming in. So,I started touring more. It’s that simple. It’s not ideal but, as artists, we gotta adapt or die. I’d rather sit at home and make music all day than hit the road but that’s just not how it works anymore. My apologies if this is going wildly off topic but, like I said, you basically gave me a book report and I was never a guy who did well with those.

I just happened upon the booklet for Music by Cavelight. Isn’t it nice to have a visual aid to accompany your audio production? Just about a thing of the past now… shame. Anyway, could you please help us understand the pictures you chose to include? Who are all these people? Why are they important? How are they a piece of you? Perhaps include page numbers for reference. Thanks!

Also, I see you had a shout out to Vitamin Water. Have you noticed how much they suck since they switched to natural sweetener? I had a hard time accepting that my go-to beverage was a bust after that change… fuck… I still haven’t found a suitable replacement. Any suggestions?

Those are either family members or people who worked on the album. I Don’t have a cd or record in front of me but I can tell you the people in there include my dad (who passed away a years before that album came out and was pretty much an inspiration for many of the songs), my mom, Damien paris (He played guitar and bass on the album), Baby Dayliner (He mixed the album and played violin on it), Omega one (he did the scratches) and Aesop (Who I put there more as a token of my appreciation cause I wouldn’t have been there without him).

As for my shout out vitamin water, at the time , I was obsessed with that shit. They used to make a green tea flavor that I drank like 3 times a day. I got it in my head that, if I shout them out, maybe they would sponsor me and I’d get some free shit out of it. Well…it kinda worked. They sent me like 6 crates of free vitamin water. So, that was pretty awesome. As for how it tastes now, yeah…it sucks. I haven’t drank it in like 8 years with any regularity but it makes sense that they started using natural sweetener and it fell off. As for a replacement? I drink normal water but my go to shit is Honest tea. Specifically the green tea flavor. I love that shit and will gladly shout them out where ever I can…maybe they’ll hook a dude up. what up, honest tea? I love yall! Bethesda Maryland! Whattup!

I have an issue to be resolved between some friends. The issue involves morning woods and whether or not to enact on them. The morning wood is usually only there because of having to piss so bad in the morning, engaging in sex or self service could send the body mixed signals. Some people are in the “never trust a fart, never waste a bonner” camp, others are against confusing your male parts functions. I also have a friend who used his morning wood to have sex with his girlfriend and apparently had a little black out, pissed himself and woke up to his lady freaking out (he has no history of seizures), scary stuff. So some insight on the whole issue would be much appreciated. Thanks!

What on earth are you talking about? Morning wood is morning wood. You simple gotta let it go down, pee and that’s that. The “never waste a boner” idea is fucking insane. What kind of chronic masturbating rapist came up with that? I’m almost a middle aged man and I still get random boners sometimes. It happens. To need to beat off or have sex every time that happens would be obscene.
As for your friend who blacked out, sounds more like some other shit than his morning wood. Pretty sure you dick changing valves from “pee” to “jizz” isn’t gonna cause you to have a seizure.
I will say that a frustrating thing about morning wood is it really is your “best” boner. It’s the healthiest, biggest boner you will generally get so I understand wanting to put it to use. But, when it’s filled with pee, it’s hard to ignore that and , for me personally, that needs to be attended to first.

Who was the first person to start calling you by your middle name?
Was it something that you started, or did it just catch on over
time? How does your mother feel about it? Do you have anyone in
your life that calls you by your first name?

My friend goes by his middle name. But I’m that douche who calls
him by his first name. Moreso just for the sake of being a dick
rather than doing it for any legitimate reason. He’s even saved in
my cell phone under his first name. Years ago, we were on tour and
he gave his ID to another guy on the tour who was under 21 in order
to sneak the guy into a bar. The guy looked at his ID and was blown
away by the fact that his name was Brian and not Lou. They had
known each other for a few years prior, so he was also taken aback
by the fact that he knew his friend by a technically false name.

I’ve always been called Tony. Even though my first name is technically James. As far as I know, my parents did it. My older brother is the same way. His name is John but we all call him Nick. I have no clue why it worked out like that but the only time anyone ever calls me james is when I have to be official. Like dealing with credit card companies , boarding planes or getting a state ID. No one I know or who i am even remotely friends with ever calls me James. I don’t even react to it.

I’ve been living out of NYC for a few years, but lately a lot of
what I’m seeing online is people being very butthurt about how
inconsiderate New Yorkers are on public transportation. It made me
laugh, because I love how everyone thinks they’re a special,
shining star that deserves red carpet treatment 24/7- but I wanted
your take on it. Have you been noticing the same complaints or do I
live in some bitchy, complainy vacuum of overly emotional
princesses?

I haven’t noticed an influx of complaints really. It is what it is. some people are rude assholes on the train. To get overly upset about it is a waste of time, in my opinion. You’re never gonna teach that jerk off who doesn’t let people out of the train first before getting in that he’s a piece of shit. It’s in his blood.
Entitlement is a big problem in NYC. Especially with all the new people coming here who think they deserve special treatment. It’s hard to be sane in NYC if you’re walking around all day expecting strangers to give a shit about what you do and how you feel. NYC has a bad rap for being full of rude people but it’s not true. It’s simply full of people who don’t have time to coddle every person they come across. In general, we’re actually really nice.