Rogglecast 27- Bon Voyage!

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Well, all good things come to an end. Even all mediocre things come to an end. The Rogglecast is no different. Due to personal and ethical differences , Pollyne and I are no longer going to do this podcast. Just kidding (about why we’re not doing the podcast anymore). The real reason is Pollyne is moving and doing podcasts over the phone sounds awful. So this is the final installment!
In this episode we talk about Po’s move, lumbersexuals, Blow job bibs and how OCD we are.
It’s been a fun run and I wouldn’t shut the door entirely on this podcast thing for either of us. You never know.
So, enjoy and bid us a fond farewell. Peaaaaacccceee…

Things that are wrong with the world vol. 32

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It’s the same old song. At least round these parts. About twice a year, a new painfully average white rapper pops up that threatens to blow up. I hear it, get somewhat sad then eventually write about it cause , hey, this blog needs content. This case, however, is a little special. This rapper, JT, is a protege of Dr. Dre. Yes, the same man who bought us Snoop, Eminem, 50 Cent and Kendrick lamar has decided to pluck this fucking kid out of obscurity and prop him up to be the next big thing. Will it happen? I dunno. In this day and age, a co sign from Dr. Dre doesn’t hold the weight it once did. Hell, a Co-sign from anyone doesn’t promise anything. But it certainly can’t hurt.

Sometimes, all you need to know about a rapper can be summed up in one line. As writers, a rappers awareness of what is and isn’t corny or played out is crucial to sounding even remotely original. I realize that “being original” is completely unimportant to many of the new generation of rappers, much like striving for authenticity has gone the way of the dodo bird. However, as much as Dre can look at this pimple faced kid and see dollar signs, I know he still has that old mentality. The dude is 50 and has been around for every generation of rap. Every rapper he’s ever put on has had something. You may not like 50 cent but there is a thing that makes him special, like it or not. This kid, though?

He said “Wettin’ em like a shower” in a rap song in 2015. Seems harmless enough but, if you step back and think about it, it speak volumes about how little creativity is going into his verses. That’s a line that a c level rapper would have snuck on a deep album cut in early 90’s. Like Kid n’ play would say that. It’s really all I need to know about this kid. He’s willing to write that line and say it. It doesn’t make him a bad person at all, it just speaks volumes of his character as “an artist”. The same thing as anyone who would rap “Smoking rappers like cigarettes”. It’s novice rapper 101 shit. It’s lazy. It’s a glaring sign that reads “Meh, who cares?”. That’s fine and all. It’s not Like Wocka Flocka or Cheef Keef are walking around caring about lyrical integrity. But this music isn’t that. I’d almost give this kid more credit if it was.
This article I read about him talks of what makes him special is how he carefully crafts lines and is a workhorse. In reality, dude sounds like he’s freestyling after listening to drake for a week straight. But his shortcomings as a rapper are secondary to me. There are COUNTLESS mediocre rappers out there.The emergence of the overly cocky swaggy white rap dudes who look like someone mad magazine would draw as a slack jawed teenaged fast food drive thru worker is boundless. It’s the fact that anyone takes them seriously that befuddles me. There is nothing about the kid that sets him apart from every other dude who has made a youtube video of him rapping while smoking weed. Mac miller was the first to really run with that and, compared to this kid, he’s the god mc. It’s as if human taste can no longer be trusted so the tastemakers simply go off algorithms. I can imagine , when Dre decided to fuck with this kid, he didn’t listen to the music as much as write an equation that ends in “= $$$$$$”.
I think the thing that gets me most about this is that it’s unnecessary. Dre is a billionaire. He can do whatever he wants. The fact he hasn’t put out Detox says it all. Clearly, the guy hasn’t actually made music in like 15-20 years but to see this kid and be like “He got next!” ? That’s just irresponsible. I could sort through my demo reviews and find 100 more worthy rappers who would fit this kids description. You would think a guy with all the money in the world might be like “Fuck it, I’mma just put out stuff I like, regardless of it’s marketability”. After all, he’s Dr Dre. His name still has enough pull that that could work on some level. At the very least , it could shine a light on someone who deserves it. But, no. He’s gonna back this middling , old navy wearing dork. Oh well…I just hope when Detox drops in 2055 , it’s not full of lost takes from this kid.

I realize this just sounds like hating but, I swear, I simply expect more of people. This kid is just doing him. He’s not out to ruin hip hop. I can’t fault him for anything outside of his skill set. He’s just doing what he’s been allowed to do. But who I can fault are the people who are paving the way towards success for mind numbing shit like this. There is a ripple effect to all of this. Do better.

Preview reviews of movies I’ve never seen vol. 9

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Hi there and good day. In this series, I review movies I have never seen based entirely off their trailers. It’s called reading a book by it’s cover and it’s 85% accurate. Maybe even more. Listen, movies come out all the time…who’s got all that free space in their lives to go a see them? Well, i do actually but fuck all that. Movies are expensive and they mostly suck. So, join me for some sweeping generalizations about movies I will probably either never see or watch reluctantly at 3 am once they show up on cable. Art!

Jupiter ascending

In every young actors career they need that one movie. That movie that comes out years after they have already established themselves as box office gold. It’s a test. Kinda like walking under the bridge and meeting the troll. They’ve made blockbusters. They’ve made critically acclaimed indie films. They’ve done it all…except this one kind of movie. If there was an actor bible it would be page one. “Once your career is going great, Thou must make a convoluted Sci-fi , action movie that costs $100 million , based 80% on the merit of its special effects with a terrible script. The actor must dye his hair a funny color and speak in a marginally recognizable kinda sorta british accent”.
For Channing Tatum, this is that movie. It was only a matter of time. It’s not his fault. It’s how hollywood works. For some, you can come back from it. For others, it’s truly a test of how strong your star power is. Wesley Snipes never recovered. Stephen Dorff went missing after his. Let’s hope Tatum can ride on the strength of “Fox catcher” and not fall a victim like so many young actors before him. God bless and godspeed!

Paddington

Maybe I’m nostalgic but…I need movies to leave some things from my youth alone. In case of Paddington bear, I have no memories of what he was about. All I know is he wore a hat and a raincoat. I know this cause I owned a Paddington bear stuffed animal when I was a small child. His story of how he became a tiny bear with a hat and a raincoat is not one I’m familiar with. You might think that, hey, perhaps you’d like to find out just how this bear learned to wear clothing and why is he so worried about rain all the fucking time? Well, nope. I’m not. Sometimes, for kids stuff, I just wish things could just be. Can’t he simply be a cute bear with clothes on? Do we have to know everything? Mystery is underrated. Especially concerning things for children. Kids are so visual that all it takes is seeing this bear and they are good to go. They’re all in. Now, I know there were Paddington bear books and I get that this movie will make billions of dollars worldwide. But, i dunno…To me he’s always gonna be that stuffed animal and watching him in his animated “who framed roger rabbit?” glory just seems disrespectful. Shit like this makes me respect Bill Watterson (The guy who made calvin and hobbs) cause he kept that shit on paper. Also, Calvin and hobbes was way fucking cooler than Paddington bear. That dude corny, b.

Backstreet Boys: Show’em what you’re made of

Let me start this off by saying I will 100% watch this movie when it’s available on netflix or cable. I’m a sucker for music docs and this has the potential to be amazing. That said, it will not be amazing. It will be annoying as fuck. Why? Because instead of just tearing the mask off of the backstreet boys and digging deep into the dirt behind the how and why, it will be a cornball ass redemption song about 5 dudes in they’re late 30’s dancing for european moms. I’m sitting here wanting stories of groupies and drug abuse (which you know they have tons of). That would be a fucking movie! Hearing the one who always wears bandanas tell us about the time he pissed on 10 girls at once cause he was too coked up to fuck them. That’s the kind of thing that would take this movie to an honest level of reality. But, nah…it’s gonna simply be them whining about how they were famous once and how it wasn’t really them. Then there will be a brief glazing over of the time between then and now when they all went their separate ways. After that, they will reunite in London to record the new album (as true artists) and then go on tour and dance around on stage in fedoras like it was 1997 again. Yeah yeah yeah…I want coke stories , guys. We all want coke stories. It’s really not that hard.

The wedding Ringer

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So, you’re really telling me there are two movies about to come out within a few weeks of each other about Kevin Hart helping a nerdy white dude? Are you fucking serious? You would think the studios would have a clause that says “The actor in the movie cannot make a similar movie to this for at least 6 months”. It’s kinda like when I’m touring and there’s a clause that says “The artist cannot perform anywhere within 100 miles of this show for a month before this show”.
But nope! Kevin Hart is unstoppable. Not in his talent or humor but his work ethic. Dude does not say no. I’m not even mad at him. I don’t find him particularly funny but I also don’t think everything he does is shit. He’s kinda right in the middle with me. So, based on the co-stars, I’m thinking “The wedding ringer” will be shittier than “Get hard”. I think that’s kinda obvious. No disrespect to Josh Gad but, come on bro…Will ferrell is still Will ferrell. Sure , “Get hard” could be as bad as “Anchorman 2” (which would be a feat cause, , holy shit, was that bad) but I still have faith.
Both plot lines have been done to death and are pretty much cookie cutter comedies. The “cool guy fixes dork” concept is as old as any. That said, I’d be lying if I said I won’t watch these on a place or hungover on my couch. I feel like movies like this exist for that purpose alone.

My top ten most slept on rap albums (89-2000)

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It’s a snow day in NYC. For real, it’s not even that bad out but the city is shut down so , for what it’s worth, I’m snowed in. Anyway, a few days ago someone tweeted me about my top ten albums. I’m not a fan of decisive lists like that but I figured I would meet him halfway and list ten albums from back in the days that I consider to be very slept on. These are in no particular order and it’s all over the place but I hope you guys can find something on here you might have missed that will tickle your fancy. If not, hey, blow me! These are all in the realm of personal classics to me.

1)Bushwackass- How reall israel? (1994)
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There are layers to this album for me. Personal layers.
When I was 15, I used to help this dude write rhymes and give him samples so his producer could make beats. He was older and was pretty much my mentor with this rap shit. One time, he invited me to come to the studio with him and his friends to watch them record. I was super excited cause this would be my first foray into any such thing. So, I went to a part of brooklyn I had never even heard of at the time (BK in the early 90’s was a VERY different beast than it is now) and pretty much just posted up on a couch with a 40 while these dudes made a song. At one point, a crew of other guys showed up. They were a lot more thugged out than the guys I knew and not exactly welcoming to my 15 year old white ass.
Anyway, the made the song and then all the guys who were there wanted to cypher in the booth. They took turns and it got to one of the thugged out dudes and he basically spit a whole verse damning the white man while looking directly at me. Hmm…cool. About a week later, I would learn those guys were the Bushwackass and that guy went by the name Fish b. one. You would think that would make me not want to listen to them but…nope! Not only did I listen to the album, I fucking loved it. Fast paced thugged out rhymes over a selection of beats I still hold up to anything else from that era.
A year or two later, when I went to college and discovered the internet, I was on a hip hop newsgroup. I ended up chatting with this dude who turned out to be one of the producers of some of the songs on this album (Sam ewing). He was super friendly and actually gave me a ton of tips on how to make beats that were eventually very helpful. Who knew?
Did I mention they were black israelites? There’s that too. Shalom!!
My favorite cuts:


2)Grand Daddy IU-Smooth assassin (1991)
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When this album came out, Cold chillin’ records was pretty much as good as it got. In my eyes, they didn’t put out wack shit. So, without knowing anything about who Grand Daddy IU was, I copped this on sight. Looking back, it’s easy to write off IU as a try hard mix between Big Daddy Kane and Rakim. His booming low voice and tendency to rap for the ladies definitely stunk of Kane but his word play and flow were more like Rakim. Regardless, if you’re gonna sound like anyone, those are two guys I would recommend. Especially in 91.
Here’s the thing though, I think this album hold up. It’s got classic beats and loops all over it and Grand Daddy IU can definitely rap. He went with a more jazzy mood than either Kane or Rakim every did. In my eyes, it set them apart enough to be judged on his own merit.
My Favorite cuts:


3)Da Lench Mob- Guerillas in tha mist (1992)
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Inside the cover for Ice Cube’s classic album “Amerikka’s most wanted” , there was a list of names. Those were the people in his crew known as Da Lench mob. At the time, I didn’t think anything of it. People big upped their crews all the time and nothing came of it. A few years passed whole new Ice cube album came out before a word of the Lench mob had been spoken. They were featured on the song “Color blind”, off that album. Another year passed and, finally, a video popped up for “Guerillas in tha mist”. It’s was angry. It was heavy. It was simple. The Lench mob consisted of a few rappers. Mostly Jay-dee. He was the main guy. But shorty and T-bone chimed in on occasion as well. Ice cube also made his presence felt on this album , guesting on a bunch of cuts as well as executive producing the entire album (Much like he did on Del’s debut “I wish my brother Georgie was here”).
As an album, it is packed with dope songs. Great beats that balance between classic muggs beats, to P-funk influenced tracks to some even jazzy sounding stuff. The rapping, while not exactly brilliant, works for me cause it was so intense. These guys had a message.
My favorite cuts:


4)Hard Knocks- School or hard knocks (1992)
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Back in the day, The Source was a bible for all hip hop heads. I’d get turned on to local stuff via radio shows and video shows but, in general, being in the source was the best promotion for any rapper. Often, they would review albums well before they were released which, depending on the review, might build some serious anticipation for an album. Nas’ “Illmatic” is an example of that. Another example , for me at least, was this album. Bronx duo “Hard Knocks” came out of nowhere…and , honestly, vanished just as quickly. I first heard them on a compilation the source gave away to magazine subscribers. The song “Nigga for hire” jumped out at me. The beat was great but the rapper is what caught me. He was clearly angry but he rapped in a monotone, mellow voice. I had never heard anyone do that before. I couldn’t even tell if I liked it but I was definitely intrigued by it.
When the album came out, I copped it and was very happy with my purchase. Great beats all over this album. Dynamic and varied. I can’t say the guy was a lyrical genius or even that great a rapper but he rapped in a very distinct style that was unusual and interesting. I recall the source comparing him to Guru and I can definitely see that. But , like, if Guru was angry about everything. I have no clue what ever happened to these guys but it’s too bad. They were onto something.
My favorite cuts:


5)LL cool J- Walking with a panther (1989)
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You’re probably thinking “What the fuck is LL cool J doing on a slept on album list?”. I feel you. This album probably sold a million copies but, to me, it’s still slept on immensely. Hear me out…
When people talk about LL Cool J’s legacy, they talk about his first two albums and “mama said knock you out”, which was considered a “comeback” album on the heels of this album. People HATED this album. In every review, they spoke of LL cool J’s ego spiraling out of control and how he had gone to far. This album was certainly LL at his most hedonistic. But, to me, that’s what makes it so great. He’s talking THE MOST shit on this album. Coupled with him being at the pinnacle of his rapping career, I’d say this an undeniable classic in braggadocia rapping. Problem is…it had some REALLY bad songs on it. I think that’s were the kick back came from. The album has 18 cuts on it.about 12 of those are fucking awesome. There are a few meh joints but…man, there are 4 or 5 truly awful songs. Love songs. Ballads. Just despicable music. I get that backlash…but people went way overboard and missed out on what I consider to be LL’s best work ever. In my eyes, this was not the album where he fell off, it was the album where he went balls to the wall (probably very coked up at the time) and not everything landed. But when it did? It was amazing.
My favorite cuts:


6)Young Bleed- My own (1999)
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Prior to Young Bleed, I had a rocky relationship with southern rap. It was the late 90’s. Master P and Cash money had pretty much offended my obnoxious purist rap soul. I loved older stuff from the south but the new wave just didn’t sit right with me. I don’t think my ears were ready for beats with no samples. Also, a good deal of it was actually really bad. That said, I definitely was quick to dismiss it when I should have listened closer. Well, this album was a turning point for me. I first learned of Young Bleed while watching Rap City. They played a video of his that fascinated me. It was just so fucking cheap. Like , literally shot on camcorder in the era of million dollar music videos. It caught my eye. The more it came on, the more I listened. The more I listened, the more I realized “hmm…this guy is kinda dope”. Then, randomly, this kid I used to trade music with sent me his whole album. I didn’t even ask for it. I put it on and , right away, knew this album was special. Bleed’s rapping style was similar to 50 cent. Mellow and reserved but somehow ferocious at the same time. But so very very southern. Like I could imagine the whole thing being recorded in an outhouse. What made this album for me, though, was the production. Bleed’s earlier albums definitely had great songs on them but I didn’t love the beats. On this, his producers melded that southern bounce with great samples and really tasteful synth stuff. To this day, it’s easily one of my favorite albums ever to come out of the south.
My favorite cuts:


7)Positive K- Skills dat pay da bills
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Positive K was always one of those rappers I never understood why he didn’t see more success. His music was tailor made to succeed in that era. He had dope beats, a great personality and he could rap. Sure, “I gotta man” was a huge hit off this album but it almost seemed to make him into a novelty rap act. Gimmicks giveth and taketh away I suppose.
I first heard Positive K when he was on “I’m not havin’ it” with MC Lyte. Didn’t think much of him but then he was featured on Brand Nubians debut album and my curiosity was peaked. About a year after that, he released the song and video for “Nightshift” , which is pretty much one of the greatest rap songs of it’s era. It’s perfect. The beat, the rhymes and big daddy kane popping pimp shit on the hooks.
When this album dropped, I was all over it. He showed far more versatility than I expected and an ear for really good beats. Like many albums from that era, one of it’s downsides was it’s length. People didn’t know how to self edit back then, I guess. But, all things considered, it’s a great album that pretty much no one ever brings up when talking about great albums from the early 90’s. Well, motherfucker, I am!
My favorite cuts:


8)Field Mob: Ashy To classy (2000)
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Here’s one that I can entirely thank Rap city for. In NYC, we weren’t privy to new southern rap. All we would see or hear was on tv. The video for “Project Dreamz” popped on one day and I was mesmerized. In particular, the second rapper Shawn Jay. I was blown away. Even listening to it now that verse still gets me. He found a way to balance an almost cartoonish voice with a crazy flow and actual great lyrical content.His partner, Smoke, was even more cartoonish but still a great addition when put next to Jay.
The album is a nice mix of bragging, stories and basic shit talking over Southern beats that didn’t sound cheap or flimsy.
My favorite cuts:


9)Da King and I- Contemporary Jeep music (1993)
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This is the one album on the list that might be a little dated if you listen to it now. There was an era of rap where people were obsessed with styling. Using their voices in odd ways to set themselves apart from the pack. Trendz of culture did it, Akinyele did it, Das Efx did it. It was a thing. I , personally, loved it all at the time but I’d be lying if I said those style choices have aged well.
In the case of Da King and I, MC Izzy Ice, danced on that line. Yes, he was very animated but he still retained enough of that late 80’s/early 90’s straight forward rapping style that it saved this album for me, upon revisiting it. In fact, Izzy had a great voice and lot of character on the mic. Beat wise, this was a product of it’s era. Tons of jazz samples, filtered basslines and hard drums. That shit is forever in my book so it’s not like it will play out. Sure, doing those kinda beats in 2015 is lame but, for that era, this was a really well produced album.
My favorite cuts:


10)Willie D- I’m Goin out like a soldier (1992)
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God, do I love this album. So much. Willie D is probably my favorite rapper of all time. Not to be confused with the “best rapper”. He’s just as entertaining as it gets and this album is pure, unfiltered Willie D at his best. He’s talking shit about everything and everyone. He throws shots at NWA, Rodney King, and Paula Abdul cause, you know, why the fuck not?
Granted , this album in not a front to back banger. There are some definite misses. But, overall? It’s the best collection of concentrated Willie D you will ever find. “Trenchcoats n gangsta hats” is seemingly his life’s manifesto and it’s got like 7 verses. I would marry this album.
My favorite cuts:


Answers For Questions vol. 223.

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What’s up everyone? I just wanna send a shout out to all the people who came saw my shows in the midwest this week. I hit a few places I had never played before and it was awesome to meet you guys. I hope to be back at all those places (Wichita, Kansas city and Covington) in the near future.
Annnnnyway, this is answers for questions. You asked stuff, so I answered it. Simple.
if you would like to join the fun, please do! Send me questions. Leave them in the comment section below or email them to me at phatfriendblog@gmail.com. I’m all ears.
Let’s check what we got going on this week…

I read an article about Aesop Rock having the largest vocabulary in hip hop recently. I don’t know if you heard that or not or read the article but I was wondering what your thoughts were on that? He is hands down one of the best Mc’s out there still doing it proper and your latest collaboration confirms that. But do you feel that it’s accurate in telling you who’s a great mc vs someone who’s wack? They mention Dmx as being on the bottom and to me it explains why I don’t like him and why I thought his hook was as shitty as the No Limit camp that was popular for a short minute. And Wu-Tang literally took up the top spots as well along with other east coast Mc’s, which didn’t surprise me. I always felt east > west.

I think that whole study was pretty ridiculous and completely pointless. That’s not a slight at aesop at all, by the way. He is obviously gifted when it comes to words and how he uses them. I think my issue with that study is just that. It doesn’t account for how the rappers use these words. There are plenty of rappers who use big words but have no idea what they mean. Some Wu-tang members are perfect examples. but to say DMX is wacker than another rapper simply cause he uses less big words is short sighted and lacking an understanding of what makes a good rapper good. Words are just one part of it. It’s the voice, delivery, and cleverness in how that rapper uses to words he does. I’d much rather listen to a rapper who, even though his vocab might be a little limited, he uses his words intelligently and with conviction , instead of some dude who sounds like he’s reading the dictionary to me.
That study was cute and it’s impressive that it even happened but if it has any bearing on how you feel about an artist, you should stop listening to rap and just read books instead.

How much downtime is there when you are on tour?
Depends what you mean by downtime. Most of touring is travel. So, technically, that’s a lot of downtime but it’s not exactly freedom.
I’d say it breaks down like this (at least for me and how I tour):
I spend the day getting from one place to the other. This could mean anywhere from a 6 hour flight to a 1 hour drive. Either way, the goal is arrive in said city before sound check. Once I arrive in whatever city I’m playing in, I tend to check into the hotel. If there’s time, I’ll just chill in there and relax. That’s always nice. Cause traveling sucks and you need to decompress. If there’s no time, I head straight to the venue to sound check. Soundcheck can be quick but it’s generally a whole lot of sitting around and waiting. Waiting for the sound guy to show. Waiting for the stage to be set up. Waiting for a chord or a wire that is necessary to make the sound work. Waiting for pretty much anything you can imagine. It’s almost unheard of to arrive at a venue at the correct soundcheck time and just walk up, do the sound check and be done with it. That’s like finding a unicorn wrapped in four leaf clovers.
After the soundcheck, I generally go eat. Depending on time constraints, I seek out something special or eat whatever is closest. After that, i go back to the venue and chill. hopefully, the doors have opened by then. I may hang backstage for a bit but, ultimately, I go set up my merch table and just chill there all night. Backstage is boring as fuck, especially when you’re out there alone. If i’m tour with a group and we’re hanging, it’s different but I’d rather be out front selling stuff than sitting on a couch alone in a room checking my phone for 3 hours. After the show, I wait some more to break down the equipment (that takes me like 45 seconds) and then I wait to get paid. By now, it’s usually 2-3 am and I head back to the hotel to go to bed , so i can wake up fairly early the next day and go wherever it is I gotta go. Yes, it is a glamourous lifestyle.

You as a successful person have to deal with a lot of people. How is your social competence? Is it easy for you to get in touch with people or handle all kinds of people? Aren’t there some weird moments sometimes where you just don’t know what to say…this kind of embarrassing moments?

Not sure if this is pertaining to regular life or when I’m around fans and stuff.
I’m pretty comfortable socially. I get along well with others and generally don’t have many awkward moments. I mean, sure, there are times at shows when I’ll meet fans who are drunk or over zealous and things might get a little awkward but that’s more on them than me. Not to mention, that kind of interaction isn’t exactly natural. In real life, it’s never an issue and if someone is acting weird around me, I’m pretty certain it’s them not me so I just sorta cautiously roll with the punches.
I feel as though doing shows and interacting with fans has made me decent at handling and recognizing certain social red flags. Much like how a bartender might have the same skill set. I can talk to a person briefly and get a read on them.
As for not knowing what to say , sure. We all have those moments. I’d imagine if I was a single guy who was out looking for ass all the time, those moments would be slightly more regular but , being wifed up allows a certain level of “eh, who gives a fuck…” about many situations that might otherwise lead to an awkward exchange.
Basically, I’m typically slightly less awkward than the person I’m talking too but , if you’re being a weirdo, it’s hard for me to not follow suit on some level.

do you pick your nose? if not, does it disgust you when others do? if so, do you do it freely or discreetly in front of your lady/homeboys? do you roll-and-flick or deposit each one in a tissue (only savages wipe them on furniture)?
I do. I enjoy it. It’s satisfying. When I was a little kid, i ate boogers like a boss and didn’t give two shits. When i realized that was gross, I moved on to wiping snot on things. In college, I had an area in my dorm room that had a low ceiling (it was right over the door when you walked in) and I made that a booger collection. I’m not proud of it but I was a disgusting 17 year old and it happened. Weird thing is, no one EVER noticed it. It looked like jackson pollack painting but it completely went under the radar.
As for my current style of nose picking, yes, I try and be discrete. I also try and dispose of the boogers in a safe and nonchalant manner. Tissues, garbage cans, sinks, toilets. I’m far less the savage I once was.

What would happen if you saw a woman getting beaten up on the streets. In this hypothetical situation you have no phone and the guy is slightly bigger and stronger than you

I’d like to think I’d try and break it up on some level. At least remove then dude from the woman. In reality, i don’t know what my reaction would be. I’ve seen all sorts of crazy shit happen on the streets and you never really know what your instincts will have you do. What I’m sure I wouldn’t do would just start trying to fight the guy. I’m simply not a fighter. But getting him away from the woman seems like the logical move. I’m way better at rationalizing and calming people down than I am at fighting or taking a punch.

Do you have a favorite rap game parlor trick? On that list would be things like double time ala Twista, or dense-ass punchlines ala Vakill, (my rap status is c-section, cuz I’m a cut above you pussies. GET IT!?) Anything that a rapper could use as a “hack” to get themselves extra attention on a track.
I think the days of anything like that being valuable are long gone. Not only do people not care anymore but anything in that realm has been done to death at this point. I remember when I first heard fast rapping (Jaz and Jay-Z on “The originators” in 1990) I was obsessed with it. That lasted a pretty long time but now it seems like everyone can double time so that’s not even special. A good hack as an mc now is to actually give a shit about what you’re saying and how you present it. Not many rappers seems to do that anymore.

Do you think it’s ok to do the following things via text/social media:

-break up with a girl

-offer condolences to a friend for the death of a family matter

-make broad declarative statements, for example: “I quit drinking/drugs”, I am done with person(s)

1)break up:
Fuck no. That’s a cowardly way to do it. i guess it’s only okay if the relationship truly meant nothing to you and you don’t think that person is worth the common decency of a face to face. Like maybe you were fucking some guy/girl for a few weeks, it was kinda wack and they started being too up in your shit. Then I could see it. But a real relationship? That’s bullshit.
2)Condolences:
Sure. There’s nothing wrong with sending a text of condolences to someone. I’d even say it can be better cause, sometimes, that person isn’t trying to speak to anyone. I’d almost rather get a text in that situation. And giving condolences via facebook or twitter is fine too if you’re not super close with the person. It’s kinda distant but no different than wishing someone a happy birthday on facebook.
3)Airing people/yourself out:
Hmm…personally, I think it’s corny. Airing yourself and other people out on social networks is in bad taste. There are exceptions but, to me, it always looks like someone having a breakdown or a tantrum. Neither of those things are a good look for anyone. I mean, if you’re telling everyone you’ve been sober for 6 months, I don’t see a problem with that. It’s done out of pride in a job well done. But if you’re coming at social networks from an exploitive and negative angle, or simply doing it to blow up someones spot who you don’t like, you’re playing with fire.

Yay or Nay: Westside Gunn

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From where? Buffalo. That’s where. He may be the first rapper I’ve ever heard from Buffalo but he doesn’t sound like he’s from anywhere but NYC. Even though he currently resides in Atlanta. Clearly, he’s all over the place.
His style and sound is reminiscent of AZ and Roc Marciano. Definitely more on the thugged out side of things. I mean, his name is Westside Gunn. What did you expect? Now, I don’t doubt a decent amount of you will be turned away by his topics but, hey, it is what it is. I still like shit like this and the kid can rap well.
Sure, he’s not exactly blazing new paths but , personally, I give it up when people can do something well. Like Russell Westbrook might say “It’s the execution”.
Oh, and here’s an interesting thing, I couldn’t find one video of this dudes music. In this day and age , where video content is often deemed more important than actual albums, I actual find comfort in this guy just making a shit ton of songs and letting people judge him on that alone. Maybe that’s not why he has no videos but, whatever. I’mma pretend it is.
So, here’s a few links. The first is to his website where he has two Ep’s streaming. Ideally I’d like to highlight songs but that’s not possible here so I’ll just say peep “Messhall Talk” and “Rayfuls plug”
http://www.westsidegunn.com/new-album/
His soundcloud page has a bunch of loosies so here are few of those too:


So, what do you think?

Oh really, Uberfacts? Vol. 2

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Uberfacts. I love them and hate them. Love them cause they teach me things and hate them cause they make shit up all the time. It’s really a situation where you can choose to believe what you want and I do actually appreciate that.
If you don’t know what Uberfacts are, it’s not a taxi service that speaks truths. It’s a twitter account that posts little nuggets of wisdom about 30 times a day. Sometimes it’s compelling. Other times, infuriating. So, I sifted through some recent ones and wanted to look a little deeper into what was really going on (this by no means is to say I did any researching or myth busting, that would be way too much effort).

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Here’s a common problem with uberfacts. They make scientific claims about things that are completely opinion based. Like attractiveness. If you asked this question to some girls , the thing that will pop in their minds is that Adrian Brody will live forver. Ask a different girl, and it might be Jack Black. Meanwhile, you man River Phoenix died before he turned 30. On top of that, I’ve seen some truly awful looking 90 year olds in my life time. Granted, they were 90 so it’s not like anyone is going to be particularly fuckable at that age but still…
On the other hand, there is some science to this that, with more that 141 characters, might be convincing. The same way people who are beautiful are often the least interesting, that could be applied to this “theory” too. People who have been really good looking their whole lives tend to have a somewhat charmed existence. As long as they’ve been alive people have been doing them favors, giving them extra and , basically, treating them like celebrities. At the very least, being good looking affords people the benifit of the doubt from strangers. This often leads to a person having a false sense of importance. Understandably so. If I was told I was amazing by everyone I met since I was 4, I’d probably be pretty entitled too. But, in reality, they often end up like not fully realized people. It’s like , emotionally, they got taken out of the oven too soon. So, on the same note, I could see that same charmed life, of being fawned over and complimented constantly, somehow translating to a longer lifespan. Less stress. More open doors. Basically, the mild sense of delusion could add a few years to anyones life.
I’m basing this entirely on nothing but, hey, so does Uberfacts so it’s probably about as correct.

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This is not one that i particularly find fault in, I’d just like more info on it. i walk fast. Am I gonna die Uberfacts?!?! Tell me! Do bowlegged people die young? is there a heaven for people who walk with a fake limp? This is an issue with these uberfacts. Just putting this kind of info out into the ether and not specifying leaves a lot of questions. It’s like when local news do those lead in like “Coming up next, this type of candy bar will give you full blown AIDS…more details at the end of the show!” except Uberfacts doesn’t even offer more info at the end of the show. There is no show. It’s uberfacts.
(I guess I could google this a figure it out but, you know, that’s so much typing…)

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I don’t doubt this is real. in fact, of course it is. “They” will offer anyone a million dollars to make a porn. But, in the case of Mama June…who is this for? As a man who will watch pretty much any celebrity sex tapes, I have a pretty long leash when it comes to what I let my eyes soak in. Even if I’m not into the girl, curiosity will at least push me to check it out. I watched the gross one with Chyna and her “not penis”. I even checked out the one with Screech. Like I said, I’ll peep it just to peep it. I guess I’m a voyeur like that. But this? No fucking way. I’d divert my eyes from this like the fucking lost ark. So, the question is, if a guy like me wouldn’t watch this, who would? Oh, I’m sure there are a handful of people who fetish this may fall into but certainly not $1,000,000 worth.
This leads me to believe that this movie would be getting made specifically to humiliate this woman. No other reason. It’s a case of “What would you do for a million dollars?” but on a public scale. I hope she says no. i’m assuming she will. But really, even if she says yes, I feel like it will exist in vacuum anyway. If mama june makes a porn in the forest and no one is there to see it, does it make a sound?

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In other news, if you eat food, you will not starve to death. Also, breathing air has been known to lengthen peoples lifespan. This just in: farts often smell and bears have been known to defecate within the confines of woodland areas.
Yes, Uberfacts, this is technically a fact but someone was clearly late for lunch when that one got posted.

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This effects me on a few levels.
1)It seems like everyone has a scheme. Shark tank can only give out so much money. For every great idea that spawns millions of dollars, there’s a terrible fucking idea that also probably spawns millions of dollars. I’d like to hope that the “We take your stuffed animals on vacations” people are not rolling in money cause, come the fuck on…but who knows? With businesses like this, i feel as though it’s not the business itself, it’s finding people dumb enough to sign up. It’s kinda like getting mad at an artist for making shitty music. When, in reality, you should always blame the fans cause, without those fans, this artist wouldn’t have existed in the first place.
2)How much money do we have , as a country, that this is a thing? I’m not a “there are people starving in africa!” kinda guy but, seriously, there are people starving in africa. Meanwhile, Mr. buttons the stuffed ocelot gets a trip to cancun? That’s just insane.
3)How documented are these trips? Do they include pictures of the stuffed animal doing stuff? Or is it just assumed the animal traveled? Cause, if it’s the latter, I take it all back and the people who made this company up are fucking geniuses.

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Umm…What? There must be a catch to this. Like something to do with the lining between a woman’s vagina and intestines. “Some woman” means , like, a few ever in the history of time, right? I need more info on this. WE ALL NEED MORE INFO ON THIS. But, regardless, ladies…be sure to wipe your shitty pussies.