Answers for questions vol. 222


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Whattup everyone? Welcome to another edition of “Answers for questions”. It almost feels weird doing this cause I did a reddit AMA last week. I’ve answered a LOT of questions doing that but, on the bright side, the majority of those were kinda boring “What inspires you?” or “What’s it like to know aesop?”kinda questions that I generally avoid answering here so I don’t think there was much crossover. These questions are still far more silly and way more fun.
If you’d like to join this fun, send me questions! Either leave them in the comment section below or email them to me at Phatfriendblog@gmail.com. I can always use more questions. Don’t be shy.
Let’s get into this weeks batch.

Block, you have to make the choice to speak, exclusively, in either Snoop Dogg “izzle bizzle shizzle” talk, Das EFX “iggity” talk, or, say an obnoxious “Ha!” after everything you say, a la Juvenile/Kanye West/Ying Yang Twins etc… Which do you choose?
Man, that’s tough. I think I would chose “Ha!” simply cause it wouldn’t make me speak in an embarrassing baby talk. I could still get clear thoughts out of my mouth and, in fact, it would be great for making points. Like “Oh, you like that restaurant? Ha! I heard they got shut down last year for mass amounts of vermin, ha!”
With the other two, not only would I sound ridiculous cause both those types of “speak” are incredibly dated, but it would basically be like me speaking in pig latin.

Do you remember who put you on to a specific song? Its crazy – I can recollect being in 10th grade homeroom and the dude behind me handing me his headphones so I could bump this tune, however I cannot recall the last page in the book I’m reading.

Not with most songs but , sure, there are some songs that stick out.
To be honest, I was typically a guy who sought out music myself and would put people on to it. I don’t mean that in a bragging kinda way. In fact, it’s kinda shitty. Like I always wanted to discover things on my own and would sometimes not give things a proper listen if it played to me by a friend. Then, a few weeks later, I’d hear it again, pay attention and be like “This is dope!”.
One song I specifically recall being put onto was in high school. I saw kids crowded around a bench in the locker room. Like 4 kids were passing around headphones of a walkman. They were freaking out so I was obviously curious. I asked for a listen and it was “Crooklyn Dodgers” by Buckshot, Special Ed and Master Ace. The second I played it , I was like “Ohhhhhhhh…”. i clearly remember that feeling though.

Who do you think has a more difficult time in the heterosexual dating pool – extra short men or extra large women?

Extra large women, obviously. Men are generally far more shallow than women when it comes to who they seek out so I’d imagine being an extra large lady is pretty brutal. Being a really short guy much suck too but there are tons of short girls. I’ve seen plenty of handsome short dudes who get tons of girls. Even tall ones. But really large women? That’s tough. That said, there are men who love extra large women so I imagine part of the process would be seeking out those dudes. I’d be shocked if there wasn’t a website for men seeking big girls. If there isn’t, I’d like to make that website and become a millionaire. If you know how to build websites, holler at me and let’s get money (assuming that webstie doesn’t already exist ten times over).

I read your demo reviews and it’s pretty tough to get praise from you. How often do you listen to signed artists and think, ‘This is crap with few to none redeeming qualities’? Do you feel like most music produced by a real record label has some sort of redeeming qualities even if its not your jam, like at least being polished? Sorry if I have erred in my understanding of music industry terminology, don’t know how it gets produced, just like to listen.

The only difference between listening to demos and music that actually gets put out is generally how well polished it is. Very often, the demo’s will just sound slightly amateurish. That’s a huge separator. Beyond that, mediocre music is mediocre music. 95% of all music made, in my opinion, ranges from “meh” to “That sucks”. But, really, the majority of that music is simply half assed. It’s not terrible. It’s not offensively bad. it’s just some shit that exists cause someone made it. The demo reviews show that. That’s why if I give something a 5/10, it’s not a bad thing. It’s just more of a ” Eh, this is okay…nothing special but certainly not bad”. That’s a common rating cause that’s simply a common level of music made.

What are your thoughts on faking an orgasm? I know its different in a relationship vs random hookup. Lets say in a relationship- is it an awful thing that undermines the trust of the relationship, or is it a convenient white lie?

I suppose it depends. If the girl is a person who normally can achieve orgasm but is having a rough time one night or doesn’t feel it, then I don’t see a problem to throw one out there just to end what might otherwise drag on for her. She will rise again. That said, if she never cums and has been faking for the entire relationship, she’s not only giving the dude false security and teaching him how to have sex the wrong way but she’s also selling herself short. How’s a guy ever going to learn to please a woman if he thinks he’s got it down but doesn’t? This guys walking around thinking he’s rocking her world but, in reality, he’s failing on regular.
I think faking an orgasm should be only done in particular situations but it should never be the norm.

Which NBA team has the tackiest-looking logo? My vote is the Toronto Raptors FOR SURE…but I also only know of like, only three other teams.
I was going to say the raptors. But, and maybe I’m biased with this one, that smug prick on the celtics logo is mad annoying. Look at him.
th
Nice sweater vest, guy. Cool bow tie. Even cooler paleolithic era walking stick. Fuck that dude.

while you’re shitting, you read more or just use your phone? Do you think the shitting moment is a sacred moment of relax and reflection?
Been a minute since a good shitting question. I was beginning to wonder what was wrong with you guys.
If I’m home, I’m the type of dude who will bring my entire laptop to the bathroom with me. I’ve made beats while shitting. Granted, I’m most likely sterile because of this but that’s what I do.
When I’m at an an away toilet, I use my phone. I used to read magazines (my bathrooms are littered with old vice, while you were sleeping, xxl, and urb magazines to this very day) but I’d be lying if I said I had looked that them in the last few years.

7 thoughts on “Answers for questions vol. 222

  1. I assume that, in general, you are pretty satisfied with the tunes you put out.
    However, is there one (or more) of your released tunes that you, in retrospect, are not that satisfied with? Dissatisfied, maybe even. And if you were to review that track using your normal format, what would that sound like?

  2. Man do I miss While You Were Sleeping… and Life Sucks Die

    Q: Have you ever thought about revising any of your (p)reviews of “Movies I Will Never See”, as in example have you ever caught one on TV late night and thought “Damn, I was totally wrong about that one…” Also, you should be a guest one “How Did This Get Made.” That pod is the best.

  3. OK, I’ve got a ‘would you rather’ for you. If you could only listen to one song for the rest of your life and it had to be ‘We Like Pizza’ by The Pizza Kids (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fq5sn5FERYM) or ‘Hey Now’ by Hilary Duff from The Lizzie McGuire Movie (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PzU0r_xYWNg). You can make music but it must consist entirely of samples from the song you choose- you can listen to the music you make. Of course, you can decide to just not listen to music very much.

  4. How deep does your hate for foreign rap run? Would you for example listen to a Kutmasta Kurt produced track with Kool Keith and Del tha funkee homosapien on the first two verses which is then followed by an actually pretty dope, but unintelligible for you german rapper Retrogott, or would that spoil the whole song? It is on bandcamp, by the way.

  5. Hey, as you get older, do you find you have a decreased tolerance for mediocre music? I’m in my thirties, now, and I find that I have zero interest in listening to anything that isn’t Dope (with a capital D). Or, like, at least shows A LOT of promise.

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