Demo Reviews Vol. 62

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Well, it’s time for some More Demo reviews. You sent them in, I listened to them and gave you my opinion. For people curious of when and how they can send me demos hold your head. I’m not accepting demos right now. My queue is full. When the time comes, I will announce it and submissions will be open for a week or two. Till then, just wait and realize that not much good can come from me reviewing your demo anyway so it’s not a big deal.
Anyway, the reviews work like so- I write a paragraph or two about your demo then rate is from 1-10 in these categories
Production
Vocals
Listenability
Originality

Admittedly, the rating are pointless and don’t mean much. If you get over a 5, you should be happy. Just saying.
So, here are this week batch. A very “chill room” batch, if i ever got one.

Artist: Ray neal
Song: Prisoner’s Dilemma


This is mildly confusing, beat wise. It sounds like something you might hear in a hip hop haunted house. It’s not bad either, just a strange mood. I can’t really tell if I like it or not. It’s well done though. So that’s something. The rapping doesn’t really grab me. I don’t like his voice and there not much there that makes me wanna listen more. He sounds stressed out and white. That said, he’s not a bad rapper. It’s just not what I’m into.
Production:5.5 out of 10
Vocals:4 out of 10
Listenability:5 out of 10
Originality:5.5 out of 10

Artist: Grape Juice Jones
Song: Dead horse


This sounds retro. Like it was recorded a long time ago. But I get the feeling that’s on purpose. The beat has it’s charm but, ultimately , it has some novice elements to it. I like the main part but all the synth layers that come in are a little corny to me.
The rapper is recorded badly but decent. After a while he kinda just fades into the back ground. There’s potential there though. Overall, i feel like this lacks focus.
Production:5 out of 10
Vocals:4.5 out of 10
Listenability:5 out of 10
Originality:4.5 out of 10

Artist: Wundawa
Song: La Grande Raflesia


This is a cool little instrumental joint. It’s jazzy and glitchy and evolves nicely. It’s not exactly breaking new ground but it’s well done. My only critique would be the drums are not great but that could be fixed with a better mix.
Production:6 out of 10
Vocals:n/a
Listenability:5.5 out of 10
Originality:4 out of 10

Artist: Five…and a half!
Song: Rebirth of Mind


There are elements of this I like a lot. Mostly things that take place after the halfway mark. The switch up is cool. But this sounds like someone kinda figuring out their sound and equipment in front of our eyes. The potential is there but this sounds very “demo-ish”. Lacks polish.
Production:4.5 out of 10
Vocals:n/a
Listenability:5 out of 10
Originality:4 out of 10

Artist: Cherry’s red Ember
Song: Remember Tomorrow


This is something you might hear in a hotel lobby or a at an EDM festival as the “come down” music they play at like 6 am to all the spun out people. Problem is, tonally, it’s kind of all over the place. Ever different part doesn’t really match very well with the next. That’s pretty problematic as music like this is supposed to be soothing and relaxing and, personally, when things sound out of key, that makes me anxious and uncomfortable.
Side note, i like the drums. They’re simple but cool sounds.
Production:4 out of 10
Vocals:n/a
Listenability:4 out of 10
Originality:4 out of 10

Artist: Neuron Dreamtime
Song: Mutiny within the palace of eyes


I was gonna say this sounds like excellent music for a movie. Horror movies, in particular. Then the rapping started and I was like “oh…”. I like the beat as something creepy and atmospheric. It’s well made for sure. The rapping is whispery and uncomfortable but not in a good way. I dunno…it doesn’t sound like a rapper rapping. It sounds like a an emo goth rapping. Like, there’s no way this wasn’t recorded by candlelight. Which, I’m sure works for some people, just not me.
Production:5.5 out of 10
Vocals:3 out of 10
Listenability:4 out of 10
Originality:5.5 out of 10

Artist: Thirsty
Song: Redemption


This is crisp. Everything sounds sharp and well recorded/mixed. It evolves nicely. I’m not sure what occasion this kinda song captures but it’s interesting. Not really for me, personally, but I can appreciate it for what it is. Synthy edm with some fairly hip hop drum sounds. The ending is actually my favorite part..
Production:6 out of 10
Vocals:n/a
Listenability:5 out of 10
Originality:5.5 out of 10

Artist: FRQNT
Song: When I look at you


This is okay. It doesn’t really make me feel strongly either way. It’s solidly made but, mood wise, it’s just kinda there. I’m not mad at it…but I’m also not crazy about it. It just…is.
Production:5 out of 10
Vocals:n/a
Listenability:5 out of 10
Originality:4 out of 10

What do you think?

Answers for questions vol. 225

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G’day mate(s),
Welcome to another edition of “Answers for Questions”. You as me whatever you want and I answer it. It’s fun for both of us. If you’d like to ask me stuff, fire away. Email me questions to Phatfriendblog@gmail.com or leave the questions in the comment section below.
Get creative. Get weird. The better the questions, the better the answers. Let’s bust off into this weeks batch.

Would you ever consider putting out a compilation hip-hop album with your beats? With various mc’s from rhymesayers etc.

I would love to do that. In fact, it’s something I wanted to do forever. Around 2000 I was talking to a small label about putting something like that out. I made songs with Slug and Illogic but it just never happened. Those two eventually leaked but I also did one with Percee P that never saw the light of day and I lost a long time ago. the album was going to be called “Let a player play” so, in one way, I’m glad it never happened. That said, working with rappers is my shit and doing a comp with a bunch of different ones would be an ideal project for me. I should look into that.

Would you rather live one day as a woman in the present or as a man in the past 2000 years? You can choose the woman, you’ll be aware of her memories, etc. but you will have control over what you do. You can choose the man in the past but you can’t do anything that will change history.
I feel I’d try out being a woman just to see what it’s like. Might give me some interesting perspective. I could use the sensitivity. Not to mention, going back in time and worrying about the butterfly effect seems limiting. Considering that most actions you do will have a ripple effect in some way. Like, If I go back in time and bone some woman, that might lead to one thing that leads to another etc…In order to make sure I don’t change anything, I’d pretty much have to stay in a room alone the whole day so what’s the point? I’ll take having a vagina for a day over that easily.
But being a woman for a day would be a pretty crazy experience. I’d probably do that out of curiosity if it were offered in any circumstance, outside of this particular question.

If you had to eliminate everyone on the planet 18 and younger or 19 and older which one would you do? Take yourself out of the equation, assume you will be an age that remains on the planet (but you are making this decision now).
Oh that’s easy. 18 and under would be DEAD. Teenagers are the fucking worst. As cute as babies are, I’d sacrifice them to get rid of teenagers. Also, imagine social networks if there were no kids or teenagers. My facebook feed wouldn’t be clogged with babies. That would be nice.
But would this mean society would come to an end? Kinda like that clive Owen movie “Children of men”. You know what? Even that I’m cool with. We’ve had a good run as a race of humans and it’s not getting any better. Might as well just run out the clock now before we’re all under water anyway.

I have a theory and maybe you can settle it. On None Shall Pass, is that Aes saying “I’m trying to help” and, for the majority of the song, his vocal pitch has just been raised? Because at the end, when the sample is just saying “help, help, help” over and over while it’s downtuning, it seems to hit a frequency that makes it sound like Aes. Is that just a coincidence? Or maybe I missed what was supposed to be obvious? Love that sample regardless. That and the piano is what originally hooked me to that track.

I think you’re reading into it too much. Aes doesn’t mess with the pitch of his voice on songs (unless it’s totally obvious but, even that, I can’t think of an example). The “I’m just trying to help” is a sample from something. Maybe a movie? I have no recollection of the source to be honest.
But, yeah, it’s totally a coincidence.

What’s up with the Knicks?
They suck. I mean, this year went worse than anyone ever imagined. They’re basically as bad as the 76ers were last year. Especially if Melo decides to shut it down. I’ve kinda accepted that a knicks championship team is something I may never live to see.

What vocal range is your favorite to listen to? Soprano, mezzo-soprano, contralto, tenor, baritone, or bass? I know that a lot of times you take vocal samples and make them high pitch so do you lean more towards that spectrum? How about what is your favorite to listen to for personal listening and what’s your favorite for making music with? Is there a reason why you like to up-pitch vocals? I agree that it sounds great.

The only reason I pitch up vocals is so the sample will work tonally. I’ve pitched down plenty of samples as well but people don’t really ever mention that. It’s funny cause when the whole era of Kanye and just blaze pitching up samples became a thing, I had been doing that for years. Thing is, no one heard many of those beats cause I was just some dude making beats in his bedroom at the time. But I didn’t do it (and still don’t do it) cause I particularly seek out that sound. It’s more on a song to song basis as to what makes the sample fit right.
As for your actual question, I honestly don’t have a specific vocal range I’m drawn to. In fact, I’ve never even thought about that for a moment.

So sex makes women more likely to get a UTI. As a woman who is prone to UTIs, I have to be prudent about peeing after sex to prevent them. To me and all my friends, even ones who don’t have the same problem, this is pretty common knowledge. This has got to depend on who you’ve slept with, but are you aware of these facts? Do you think most guys are?
I am very aware of these facts cause I got prostatitis about 8 years ago from not pissing after sex. Ever since then, I pee after all busted nuts, even jerking off.
I’m not sure how aware most guys are. Some dudes are real savages and won’t even wash off their dicks after sex, let alone make sure to pee. So, if a dude is that unaware of his own situation, I’d imagine he’s even less up to code with a girl needing to pee after sex. I think most guys probably think girls only get UTI’s when they fuck guys with big dicks. We’re dumb like that.

Look at all this new music that came out recently!

new shit ladies
It’s funny. About a week ago I was thinking “Man, I feel like there is not much to look forward to in rap in the near future”. Well, allow me to eat those words. In the past week 3 dope Ep’s by artists I like a lot have dropped. as well as a few other bits and pieces. So, as a good samaritan, I figured I’d just hip you to all of this, in case you haven’t been paying attention. These are all artists I’ve been championing on this site for a while now so it’s only right.

First up, Open Mike eagle dropped a new EP called “A special Episode of Ep”

Next up we got a new 11 song ep by Shirt (formally T-shirt). He’s not streaming the entire thing but here’s a first song off it:

Here’s a link to where you can get it (it’s $5 you cheap fucks): http://worksite.info/
As a little bonus here’s another track he did that isn’t on the ep:

Next we got a banging new EP By Your Old Droog. He just put some shit out so this came outta nowhere.

This is a one off by former Yay or nay subject Koreatown Oddity (and Ras G). Definitely feeling this one:

Lastly, we have an ep that came out a few weeks ago by Tree and Crack. Tree’s new album “Trap Genius” is apparently coming pretty soon but, until then, this should hold over he fans
http://www.audiomack.com/album/tree/treecrack
Oh, and here’s a new song from Tree. I almost forgot:

Wu-Tang Shirts ain’t nothing to fuck with

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^CORNBALL
I’d like to start this off by saying I love the Wu-tang Clan. We all do. I can’t think of another rap group that has etched it’s way into so many sub cultures. It’s because of this that a problem has arisen. Wu-tang shirts and the people who wear them. Now, let me clarify. Not every person who rocks a Wu tang shirt is a full of shit poser. Not at all. Wu-tang, much like the Beatles or the Rolling stones, is a cornerstone of american culture. They have a very real and dedicated fan base. So, if you’re reading this and getting mad cause you think I’m talking about you, I’m probably not. No, I’m talking about the people out there who probably know the words to “Shimmy shimmy yall” but have no idea that Cappadonna has every released a solo album. I’m talking about people who own multiple Wu tang shirts and beanies but , in reality, couldn’t name half of the memebers (ESPECIALLY cappadonna) and , quite honestly, would rather listen to Motorhead or Erasure. I don’t wanna make it sound like there is a required amount of knowledge one must have in order to deserve to wear a Wu-tang shirt but, I dunno, if I’m rocking the shirt of a musician, I’m a huge fan. So, to me, if you’re rocking a Wu-tang shirt but have never heard a single song off of “Wu-tang forever” and think the members of Wu tangs solo efforts begin and end with Ghostface killa, that’s a little weak to me. It’s just blatant pandering.
It’s very similar to the trend of rappers wearing heavy metal shirts. You think Juicy J actually listens to Iron Maiden? No fucking way. He wore those shirts to throw a curveball. It’s just an example of person trying too hard. When I see a 21 year old hipster white girl walking around Brooklyn with a Wu-tang shirt on and combat boots, it’s speaking to me. It’s not saying “Hey, I celebrate the catalogue of the Wu tang clan!”. It’s saying “Wu-tang is a thing that’s cool so I’mma just wear this”. And she’s right. Wu-tang is cool. So much so that they’re basically infallible. I think that’s why this bothers me (Truth be told, it doesn’t bother me that much but it’s fun to rant about). By wearing that Wu-tang shirt, you’re making a statement. And it’s not “I listen to the Wu-tang clan”. I feel it’s actually a person trying to feign diversity in their musical taste. It’s kinda like that thing where hipster rock dudes always attach themselves to liking one rap act. It was Dipset for a while. Then it was the clipse. Then it was Lil Wayne. I have no clue what it is now but I’m guessing it’s some shit like Chief keef or Young thug. It’s the the “Hey man, it’s cool. I’m down with everything even though I’m not really!” of stances. Fake Wu-tang fandom is the all time version of that. It’s just so safe to like wu-tang as a person who’s generally not into hip hop. Who’s gonna question you? Wu tang is respected from the deepest hood to the most stark corn field.
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The Clan has become on of those groups that is beyond music. Which is part of the problem here. To say “Wu tang is a lifestyle” is a bit much but it’s not far off. I was in Russia once and this kid was at my show. He didn’t speak much english but he definitely knew how to drop the N-bomb like whoa. He was saying “Aww man, hip hop is great! My nigga! Wu Tang! Wu-tang niggas!” Bear in mind, I’m not a member of Wu-tang. he was basically just explaining to me that wu tang is hip hop. Which is technically correct but also a weird thing to need to tell me, a non-wu-tang affiliated beat maker. That would be like me going up to Paul simon and saying “Hey man! Rock and roll! You’re my Led Zepplin nigga!”.
That’s a far reaching example but , in my eyes, it’s the same mind set as someone who mildly familiar with Wu Tang who wears a Wu-tang t-shirt. It’s a fashion choice, not fandom.
So, what’s my answer to all this? Well…I say, if you’re really a Wu-tang fan, you should rock Wu wear. And not just the T-shirts. I’m talking the the jeans. I’m talking the leather jackets. That shows commitment. Especially girls cause, man, that really will challenge your dedication to fashion. Buying a t-shirt at Urban outfitters is some bullshit and something anyone can do. But if you can track down some Wu-wear and actually wear it in public? I wouldn’t question your love of Wu-tang for a millisecond. In fact, I’d bow down and probably avoid eye contact with you cause, let’s face it, you’re not to be fucked with.Especially if you’re rocking Wu-wear jeans. That shit is mad real.

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Oh, I’d just like to preemptively tell all the people who plan on commenting on this like “Whatever! people can wear what they want! Who are you to tell blah blah blah”
First off, you’re boring and bored.
Secondly, it’s not that serious. I agree. People can wear whatever they like and my opinion should have no bearing on anything of that sort. This was just a dumb rant. Calm the fuck down.

Yay or Nay: This Fat Trel song

Fat-Trel-Gleesh-Cover
Every now and then I like to test the waters with you guys. Sometimes you surprise me, other times I’m reminded that a large portion of you don’t fuck with rap music that approaches subjects like gun, clothes and drugs.
I’m an old rap head. I’ve been listening since the 80’s and, to be honest, subject matter has never been a big deal to me. I think most subjects can be rapped about well and made entertaining. It always bums me out when people write off entire discographies of good artists cause they simply don’t like the topics they rap about. Like the famous “eww, you listen to Jay-z?” types that used to be all over the place in the late 90’s and early 2000’s. I get if people don’t wanna listen to it. The same was I don’t wanna listen to Common rap about his feelings in 2015. It doesn’t make him a shitty rapper. It just makes him “not for me”. I think the same applies to rap of all types So, I’m curious…
Here was DC based rapper Fat Trel. He’s signed to Rick Ross’ Maybach music. He’s a hood dude who raps about hood shit. There is no mold being broken here. He’s not raising the bar. He’s not bringing anything particularly new to the table. All that said, I love this song. I love the beat. I love his raps. His presence. The mood. I like everything about this song. But I’m curious what you think. This is a litmus test type deal to get an idea where the consensus opinion of Phat Friend readers is at. No judgements. If you don’t like this kinda shit, I’m not shocked. After all, considering the music I make, there’s an expected lack of crossover with stuff like this. But, I dunno, humor me. Listen to it. Not just the first 20 seconds. Peep the whole song. Lemme know what you think…

It should be added that Trel’s new mixtape cover (as seen above) is my favorite album cover since Asaad’s cover that had Tupac buttfucking biggie.
So, what do you think of this song? (BTW, you can vote for more than one option)

Jingles all the way

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There was a time when writing jingles for commercials was a real job. People who didn’t quite fit into popular music but had a knack for crafting a particular brand of music could make a great living. Well, actually…it probably still exists but I feel as though the market has shifted. In earlier years, a jingle had to be short and sweet. It had to promote the product, be catchy enough to stay if your head and stay generally simple. Think shit like this:


Sure, some of these are truly awful but they just seemed less painful to me cause they weren’t trying to be something other than a shitty commercial jingle. Even better was when a brand would not even have a full song. Anyone who watches TV in the tri-state areas can hear this:

And know exactly who’s commercial that is. Hell, I used to jokingly tell people I met that I’m a musician (not a lie) but when they asked me what kind I’d tell them I live off of royalties I got from making the PC Richards whistle jingle (A lie). You’d be amazed how often people would actually be impressed by that.
Anyway, the times there are a’changing and shit. Jingles still exist but many of them have been replaced by actual songs. That’s great and all but the people making these things seemingly have signed a deal with the devil…or maybe are just closely affiliated with him and record in his studio.
I don’t know where it started. In fact, it’s probably just basic evolution. That said, in my eyes, the first thing that pops to mind in this vein is the freecreditreport.com commercials from about 5 years ago. Here we had a band, specifically making music for an ad that kinda sounds like real music but is “less than”.

God bless these terrible guys cause I’m sure they hated every moment of making those songs but, at the same time, they also probably will be living off that money for a long time. I always pondered what it must have been like to be a member of that band. Surely they had aspirations to make real music that wasn’t advertising a website but, alas, they were doomed to always be the free credit report guys.
Well, if you ask me, they opened the flood gates. What has followed has been years of “real songs” being passed off as jingles.
Sure the jingle is still alive.. I believe this is local to NYC and it is awful.

While it’s almost worth it to watch the off beat asian dude struggle , this is a tried and true jingle. So, as bad as it may be…it’s still cut from the same cloth as many classic jingles.
But then…you change the channel and land on this nightmare.

I know every word to this and I have no idea how. Every time it’s on , my skin crawls a little bit and I scramble to change the channel. yes, some how, it’s snuck into my psyche. It’s evil. When i actually do sit and watch it I can’t help but think about how the girl in probably saw this as her big break. That makes me sadder than anything. Well…except this…

Dude…what the fuck on earth is going on in this disaster. Is she freestyling? That’s a pretty girl they got right there but they somehow managed to make her as unattractive as possibly simply by seemingly putting a gun to her head and saying “You rap about face foam or you die”. That’s the only justifiable reason I can see behind this. To be honest, it’s almost on some abstract rap genius shit. Like Project blowed type shit…but not quite. It’s seriously blowing my mind.
Sometimes, they avoid the pitfalls of modern music and go old school. Really old school.

I don’t know what “cash annuity” means but I do know that if the entire cast of this commercial burst into flames in front of my eyes, I’d sit back and toast some marshmellows on their crisping corpses.

Or how about this one?

I defy you to not get this stuck in your head. You can’t do it. Here’s the thing about this one. What the fuck are they advertising? Kids don’t need “Kars”. They’re Kids! And who donates a car…to anything? It’s a fucking car! It’s not a can of soup or some uncooked pasta. People who own cars generally need them. And if they were gonna just give them away, why to children? Those kids can’t drive. I’m sure some of you out there actually know the answers to these questions and it’s a good cause but, trust me when I tell you, I have no interest in clarification. I prefer thinking this website is insane and makes no sense cause it’s way funnier to me that way. It helps me cope with hating this jingle so fucking much. I’d also like to add that the kids in that commercial are seriously mailing it in. Come on dudes, I know it’s a reggae tinged country song but lemme see a little life in those eyes!

There are so many more examples of these songs but I can’t be bothered to ruin your day any further. Instead, I will leave you with this.
Here’s an example of a great commercial. No Jingle. No frills.
Just some mattresses and…the birdman.

Answers for questions vol. 224

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Hi guyz. Welcome to another edition of “Answers for questions”.
How bout that superbowl? If I cared about football I would be Livid/ecstatic. Fuck the patriots though.
Anyway, you know the drill. You ask me stuff, I answer it. If you’d like to participate, PLEASE DO! Ask me anything. Leave questions in the comments or email them to at phatfriendblog@gmail.com. Have fun with it. This week batch is actually a great example of questions. It’s all over the place and fun. Be like that.
Okay, let’s do this.

What habits do you have or phrases do you use that annoy you?

Umm…Things that I do that annoys me? I generally try and stop myself from doing things that annoy me.I’m assuming this is a ESL question gone awry but, just in case, I’m gonna answer it as it’s written. Maybe this is more existential than a typo.
The only thing I can think of is I have tendency to let a nervous giggle out for no reason. I wouldn’t mind not doing that any more cause, honestly , I don’t even know why I do it in the first place. But other than that, I like me.

Do you think electronica will survive ?
In some form, yes. It’s gonna keep doing what it’s been doing. A “genre” will get popular, sprout a ton of off shoots and then those genre’s will thrive and become the next big genres. Meanwhile, people will reach back in time and take something that’s already been established (Trap is a good example), give it a new angle and call it “new”. Music , in general, is a bunch of cycles. Everything has been done, on a popular level, so all we can really expect is variations of those things.
People are way to computer reliant for music being made on computers to cease being a thing. If anything, I could see instruments, as we know them, fading away.

Imagine you were dying in the most heroic way possible. What are your last words?
I guess it depends how I’d die. That would have a lot to with what I’d say. Like, if i died jumping off a building to catch a falling baby, I’d yell “You are not the fatherrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!” Or if I died taking a bullet for someone maybe I’d say “You owe me one!”. It’s all very situational and , also, depends who I’m saying it too.

What do you have against sunglasses? (why don’t you like wearing shades)
Personally, they give me a headache. I wear hats and don’t mind squinting so they don’t really serve a purpose to me. But, in general, I’m not too big on extra shit. I don’t wear jewelry or watches. I just don’t care about that stuff. When I do wear it, I feel strange. Sunglasses fall into that category with me. Extra shit. They do serve a purpose though so I’m not gonna judge anyone who wears them. Unless you wear then indoors or at night. Then you’re a shithead.

Have you ever met someone face to face and after talking to them for awhile, thought to yourself, “this is the the type of person who could possibly be a troll online”…?
YES! Oh, so many times. Online trolls in person have a very particular way about them. They’re generally socially awkward (Shocker!) but friendly enough. However, the more you talk with them, they will throw strange little barbs every now and then that you can tell would only come from the mind of a troll. A common thing they do with me is try and get me to talk shit about people I’ve worked with/am friends with. Like I’m gonna be like “Oh totally, complete stranger! Lemme dish some dirt to you about my friend!”
I’ve even had some admit it to me, which is funny cause those dudes are generally more bashful about it. Like, they feel shame. Which is good, cause they should. Online trolling is so lame that anyone who is prideful about it should have their laptops taken from them and be forced to go to a “how to use the internet” class, like someone who got a DUI, but with computers.

I’m not sure if you really cook, but what’s the best snack you could quickly whip up for drunk and hungry people at your home?
I can’t cook for shit. I’m all microwave. That said, I can make some good simple sandwiches. My all time go to is the breaded chicken cutlet with provolone on a roll with mayo. It’s simple but it’s perfect. I recently expanded my horizons and made a grilled cheese with ham where I toasted the bread, put mayo on that toast then added some ham and turkey that I melted cheese on to. it was great. Normally I’d be lazy and microwave the bread but I got all classy and shit with my toaster.

What’s the worst sunburn you’ve ever had?
Hmm….damn, I haven’t been sun burnt in so long. I think the worst was when I was like 11 or 12 and I went to club med in mexico with my family. I got sun poisoning and the skin of my back was literally bubbling. I had to stay in for a few days cause of that one. In general though, I’m a fucking vampire so sunburns aren’t something i’ve had a lot of trouble with.

Who is worse regarding acting ability?
Keanu Reeves or Nicholas Cage

I’m gonna say Keanu. Even though cage is now a fucking joke, he has been good in things before. Raising Arizona, Leaving las Vegas. Keanu is pretty bad and the only roles he ever really excelled in, in my eyes, were Bill and ted’s excellent adventure and Parenthood where he played a really dumb teenaged stoner.So, it wasn’t much of a stretch. Keanu in Devil’s advocate is quite possibly one of the worst performances ever given by famous actor (Forrest Whittaker in “Species” is close though). As bad as Cage has gotten, he’s never be THAT bad.