Some Haiku about Dickheads


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Poetry has long been a passion of mine. Just kidding. I am a man without much passion who can barely read so poetry is just a bunch of flowery words to me. That said, I’ve always liked the simplicity of Haiku. There’s no escaping it. a 5-7-5 syllable structure. So, I’m sitting in a hotel room in Dallas with nothing to do so I decided to write some poems about variations of dickheads. I’m a poet. It’s official.

There are people who
go eat at nice restaurants
and write yelp reviews

Frozen pizza wise
The internet fights over
celeste or tombstone

I know some people
entitled cause they were born
they shit and piss too

Buddhist zen guy
So spiritual and free
has rage issues though

No TV for you
You read and brag about it
go live on the moon

There are people who
don’t know what food to order
but they make you wait

I-consider-myself-a-Poet-now

Facebook and twitter
friends family networking
full of dumb assholes

forty year old men
listen to music for teen girls
both irrelevant

Too many babies
in the airport with six kids
please stop having sex

Some people put the
Toilet paper roll backwards
they defend that choice

I know some people
offended by everything
fuck those people hard

poet

I know some men who
always get into fights drunk
cause they hate their dicks

mommy and daddy
I joined a flash mob today
I’ll see myself out

No please allow me
to hold the door for you sir
don’t thank me you prick

Youtube commenters
never ever stop being you
but die slow as well

There are people who
tell you stop being judgmental
they are judgmental

You are a dickhead
and you don’t even know it
You parents do though

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14 thoughts on “Some Haiku about Dickheads

  1. It’s getting warm outside and I need a HAIKU for the guys I keep noticing everywhere with that shorts-wu shirt-flip flops trifecta.

      • Thanks! Aha. I’ll repeat that in my head next time I see that (which I’m sure will be soon).

        Haikus are not my forte. (Conciseness and brevity aren’t fortes of mine either).

  2. No TV for you
    You read and brag about it
    go live on the moon

    ^ Frost. Whitman. Shakespeare. All hacks. THIS is genius

  3. I am very curious, what do YOU consider putting the toilet roll backward to be. I had an old roommate that used to do this, but he insisted that it was the right way.

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