Answers for questions vol. 242


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Hi there! Welcome to this weeks edition of Answers for questions. You ask, I answer. If you’d like to get involved, it would make my day. Send me questions to Phatfriendblog@gmail.com or leave the questions in the comment section below. They both work equally well and your questions are always anonymous (at least to the readers). Go nuts.
This week, we get up close and personal. Check it…

I know you’re a pretty chill guy, but do you ever seriously contemplate just straight duffing some dude? Not just the thought, but, like, to the point where you actually have to hold yourself back?

Not really. I simply don’t have serious violent urges. I mean, sure, I wanna mush people in the face on the daily. Like, waiting behind an indecisive person on line who seemingly is going out of their way to be difficult…I don’t wanna punch that person. I more just wish they’d vanish off the planet. If I had that power, I’d be a problem. But the actual physical violence doesn’t appeal to me. I feel bad when I foul someone hard in basketball, let alone, punch them in the face as hard as i can.
But, in general, I’m not full of rage. I don’t have much rage at all. If anything, I could use some more rage. I’m way too “whatever” about most things, for better or worse. Which is a funny thing about this blog cause it’s generally me ranting about stupid things that don’t matter, yet I seem like i really care. Trust me, I do not.

do you think humans have ever had sex in outer space? even disciplined scientists are horny and desperate for unique experiences right? then add asshole pilots to the mix. if so, when was the first space smash session? in a capsule in the 60s? space shuttle in the 70s/80s? international space station in the 90s and beyond? russians or americans?

100% yes. I know nothing about the history of space exploration but if there were single men and women up there, they were fucking. There has been some hot male on male space buttfucking as well. I bet there was even orgies. It’s funny to imagine cause once you blow a load into zero gravity, it would just float there forever, until it touches something. That would actually be really cool to see.

How much cheese have you consumed in the past week?
Hard to say. I’ve eaten a decent amount. Definitely took down some brie last night. Had a sandwich with mozzarella just now. In general, I’m a big fan of cheese and all that it brings to the table. Can’t say I’ve eaten a pound of it this week..but I also can’t say I haven’t.

You often say you’re emotionally dead. I know you think that makes life easier, but it’s actually kinda sad. Having strong, passionate feelings about people/matters/life is, to me at least, one of the joys of being human. Do you ever wonder why you’re like that or wish you were a little more “alive”? Have you ever considered therapy? I think you’d be a force to reckon with if you actually cared about things and tried to do something about it.

Eh…I’m good. I’m a very happy person. I’m content with myself and my life. Sure, I don’t have emotional swings where I’m super sad or super happy but I’ve always been very even keel. When I’m around extremely emotional people, their energy is crazy to me. It’s as if they have no self control or no chill. I’m not saying emotions are bad t all. I could certainly use more (ask any girl I’ve ever dated ever) but to be ruled or driven entirely by your own emotions is not a good thing, in my opinion. I much prefer logic. I’m a very pragmatic guy. Part of the reason for that is that I’m not basing things of how I feel. More off of what makes sense within the bigger picture.
As for therapy, I’ve done it a few times (in spurts) over the course of my life. Not for my lack of emotion but cause I was fucking up terribly in school and later, when my dad died. In both cases, it didn’t really do much for me. I wasn’t withholding from the therapist. I spoke my thoughts and feelings and left feeling no different.
Like I said earlier, I think it all comes down to how you feel. If I’m happy, why would I want to disrupt that? So I can be even happier, but with the occasional downward spiral of deep depression? No thanks. I’m chilling.
Not to mention, i don’t even know if it’s possible to “turn on” that part of your brain. Perhaps this is simply how I’m wired.
It should also be noted that this all makes me sound like a sociopath. I think we’re all a little in that spectrum but I’m more just apathetic about most things. There are things and people I love, but my emotional range just isn’t that wide. Same reason I don’t randomly punch people in the face is the same reason I don’t cry watching a sad movie. Sometimes I feel like a buddhist who’s not a buddhist.

If you were stranded on an island and could choose anyone in the world to make a boat out of, who would you choose?

If I had to make a boat out of a person? I’d imagine the worlds fattest person. Maybe one of those people from the learning channel shows called some shit like “Help, I’m 9000 pounds! Kill me already!”. That way, I’d have a strong floatation area (their huge mid section) , as well and enough extra skin to make a pretty kick ass sail.

Whats the worst restaurant you have ever eaten at?
You know, i’ve had many mediocre eating experiences in my life. When you tour, it’s kinda common. So, it’s hard for me to think of one that stood out…however, there was the sports bar I ate in Louisville that might hold the title.
I was opening for Emancipator at this place Headliners. There were very few options to eat around there so we kinda had to go with what was nearest. That was a bar that also kinda served food. Everything seemed normal, the menu even looked good. I ordered some wings (cause i was jonesing) and a side of “dirty rice”. The bought out the food and the wings were fine. I mean, they were totally whatever. Fried food is hard to really fuck up..but the rice…that shit was poison. I pulled the fork up to my lips and smelled ammonia. Being a moron, I was like “Whatever…” and put the rice in my mouth. It tasted like ammonia. Literally. Like someone had poured ammonia on to the rice. I spat it out and started panicking cause…I dunno, I thought I had been poisoned. I told the waitress and she reacted like a had asked for another fork. “Oh, really? Okay…you want something else?”
Yeah, bitch. I want a doctor to pump my fucking stomach. I guess that pilaf had been sitting there for a LOOOOOOONNNGGG ass time. So long, it turned into something that could clean a toilet. Hopefully they replaced it with something a little safer. Like a cactus or maybe a bag of scorpions.

2 thoughts on “Answers for questions vol. 242

  1. How much is your mood affected when you’re out somewhere and your phone runs out of battery? (Not when you’re at an airport but when you’re in New York)

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