“I sucked my own dick”


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I believe it was the poet laureate LL cool J who once said “I’m so bad I can suck my own dick”. When he said that, the public took notice. Mostly cause they were amazed at what an arrogant and weird thing that was to say. Still, the concept of a man performing oral sex on himself has always been a curious one to me. Not cause i have any interest in doing it (even if I wanted to, I can’t even touch my toes let alone do that) but more the mind set a man might have that would propel him to go for the gold. A week or so ago, I wrote about Uberfacts and the concept of self blowies came up. I hadn’t really thought about it so I figured I’d ask the people what they though. I threw up this poll


To my surprise, there were a decent amount of guys who had admitted to sucking their own dicks. Didn’t see that coming. So, i wanted to know more. Basically, I asked the people of facebook and twitter if they had ever sucked their own dicks and would they be willing to talk about it. The response was shockingly quick and willing. In fact, I got TOO many responses which means I’ll have to do a part two of this down the line. So, I made a little questionnaire for these gentleman and had them fill it out. It was anonymous (in that only I know their names). Thanks to all the participants but, also, you guys are kinda weird.
Here’s a few of the responses:

Subject one
Are you straight/gay/bi or other?
I am straight, but had a couple of same sex experiences (not for me).

Had you sucked another persons dick prior to sucking your own?
No, I’ve never sucked any other dick than my own.

Was the stretching part of move difficult and did it inhibit your movement?
I can accomplish this both seated hunched over and or with my legs over my head. In the seated position there is more mobility, legs over the head is very restrictive and uncomfortable (pressure on the neck).

You’re a straight man, do you think you intuitively knew how to suck a dick just based on what you’d seen and knowing what you like?
It’s hard to say really I just went for it one day when I was about 14 or 15 . Obviously having instant tactile feed back is a benefit.

Did you do it more than once? If so, how many times
I’ve probby done it 15 times. The legs over the head method isn’t exactly the most pleasurable due to discomfort and lack of movement, and I actually sometimes can not do the hunch method. I believe having a full stomach hinders my ability to do the hunch method (more research is needed I guess).

How would you describe your dicks taste? and did that taste linger in your mouth well after the deed was finished?
Not really note worth I keep it clean. There was no lingering after taste.

Did you cum? If so, where? In your own mouth, in your face or elsewhere (please specify where)
I usually cum into something (toilet paper, rag, sock), but I have ejaculated into my mouth on a few occasions. Those have given me perspective on the whole spit or swallow debate. Straight up my cum tastes gross and leaves a lingering after taste and slime that I would have to imagine is akin to raw eggs. I can’t blame any girl for spitting that shit out.

Are you good at sucking dick?
I wasn’t blown awat by my abilities, a sold C grade. I’ve had a lot better blow jobs and a few that were just atrocious. A mouths a mouth though right?

Do you consider sucking your own dick a homosexual act? please elaborate why, either way.
I don’t think it’s any more gay than giving yourself a handjob. That is to say it’s just another form of masterbation. I’m sure people would be judgement as fuck about it, but really who’s business is it how I get myself off. I’ve had one dick in my mouth my own, I’ll go head to head against any random lady on the street and odds are she’s had 5 dicks in her mouth at some point in her life, not at the same time I hope.

Did you feel any guilt about doing it afterwards?
Not so much guilty as just like we’ll that happened. I don’t have strong feelings about it one way or another.

Do you feel as though you give better head to yourself than any other person (male or female)?

I don’t think so. I love giving girls head and I can say with confidence that I am very good at it. The whole lack of range of motion is definitely a hindrance, but I’m not out here trying to win some dick sucking competition either.

Have you told others about this?
I told my EX girlfriend once. It was one of those dumb situations where she says “Tell me something you’ve never told me before” and we had been dating so long I could literally think of nothing so I just dropped it. I’m pretty sure she either thought I was being an asshole or didn’t know what to say because she didn’t ask for details and never brought it up again. She gave great head.

Would you recommend this to your friends?

Go for it! What do you have to lose, maybe you will really enjoy it. You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.

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Subject 2
Are you straight/gay/bi or other?

Gay

Had you sucked another persons dick prior to sucking your own?

No

Was the stretching part of move difficult and did it inhibit your movement?

It wasn’t very difficult. This mostly occurred when I was a horny teenager. I was pretty flexible and thankfully, am fairly well-endowed. I was usually able to do it by just leaning down while sitting.

You’re a gay man, did having practice prior to doing it , help you know what to do?

Somewhat. Having unlimited access to it helps you understand which areas felt the best, as well as how to ensure your teeth stay out of play. I was never flexible enough to deep throat myself or anything but I could get over half of it in.

Did you do it more than once? If so, how many times

Yes, I mostly did it as a teenager, and it was pretty frequent. I really couldn’t give a number. But I mean, a horny gay kid with the ability to fellate himself… imagine being a teenager and having 24/7 access to a disease-free vagina.

How would you describe your dicks taste? and did that taste linger in your mouth well after the deed was finished?

Not much of a taste. Just like licking skin. So maybe a little salty sometimes. I’m pretty OCD about cleanliness so I never let any tatse linger. I’d usually just use mouthwash or brush my teeth afterwards.

Did you cum? If so, where? In your own mouth, in your face or elsewhere (please specify where)

Yes. At first it seemed way too weird and gross to cum in my mouth, so I used to stop right before the point of no return and finish in a tissue or towel or something.But as a gay man you eventually just get past all that and take it down. It does makes for an easier cleanup.
Are you good at sucking dick?

I’d like to think so. As someone who actually enjoys it, I’ve never had any complaints at least.

Do you consider sucking your own dick a homosexual act? please elaborate why, either way.

In general, I don’t think it is. You’re providing pleasure to yourself. It’s just another form of masturbation. Although for me, it was absolutely a homosexual act in that as I was servicing myself, I was fantasizing about servicing other men.

Did you feel any guilt about doing it afterwards?

Only when I first started doing it. I was worried I’d feel too self-sustained and not try to pursue actual sex with another person. But it turned out to be more of an aide to the real thing in the end.

Do you feel as though you give better head to yourself than any other person (male or female)?

Definitely not. I was never flexible enough to reach the entire area so it was never as enjoyable.

Have you told others about this?

Only a couple close friends.

Would you recommend this to your friends?

Sure, I mean it’s really not that big of a deal. If you’re able to do it without being a dumbass and hurting yourself, it can be enjoyable and educational.

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Subject 3

Are you straight/gay/bi or other?

I guess I identify as straight though I sometimes wonder what it’d be like to *really* suck a dick. Men don’t turn me on, they just don’t necessarily turn me off.

Had you sucked another persons dick prior to sucking your own?

No

Was the stretching part of move difficult and did it inhibit your movement?

Yes. Honestly because of how difficult it is, I wasn’t able to get it deep enough and thus never finished.

You’re a straight man, do you think you intuitively knew how to suck a dick just based on what you’d seen and knowing what you like?

No, I had no fucking idea what I was doing.

Did you do it more than once? If so, how many times

Yes, maybe four times?

How would you describe your dicks taste? and did that taste linger in your mouth well after the deed was finished?

It’s kind of tasteless. Precum tastes salty. I never got as far as ejaculation.

Did you cum? If so, where? In your own mouth, in your face or elsewhere (please specify where)

After a bit it was too difficult so I just finished off with my hand as I usually do and probably onto my stomach. I have tried eating it before but that was a different occasion entirely.

Are you good at sucking dick?

Definitely not good at sucking my own.

Do you consider sucking your own dick a homosexual act? please elaborate why, either way.

Nah. If that’s a homosexual act, then so is masturbating with your hand.

Did you feel any guilt about doing it afterwards?

A little. It was kind of like, what the fuck did I just do. And then I moved on.

Do you feel as though you give better head to yourself than any other person (male or female)?

I don’t give head but I feel if I were to I’d be better at giving it to others.

Have you told others about this?

Honestly, I don’t remember. I’ve told a lot of people a lot of things. I don’t think I have though.

Would you recommend this to your friends?

No, it doesn’t feel like a blow job. It just feels like you’re sucking your own dick. If someone is reading this and still wants to give it a go, word of advice: put your hands on the back of your thighs .

Well, there you have it. I feel as though we got a nice variety in there. Perhaps I’ll post the others later on…or not. Maybe this whole thing was gross and no one is interested. We shall see. until then, suck a dick.

23 thoughts on ““I sucked my own dick”

  1. interesting. their answers match my own, pretty much the same deal, doesn’t taste strange, and isnt gay, kinda hurts the neck etc…

  2. I don’t think it is a coincidence that all of these guys have some homosexual experience. As a straight man I have 0 desire to have a penis in my mouth.

    • I dunno. i mean, I’m right there with you. I have zero interest and the whole “it’s not different than a hand” argument is pretty thin to me but I don’t think someone doing this makes them gay. Especially if they did it as bored and horny teenagers who couldn’t get a real girl to do it for them.

    • “What do you have to lose, maybe you will really enjoy it. You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.”
      “It’s really not that big of a deal. If you’re able to do it without being a dumbass and hurting yourself, it can be enjoyable and educational.”
      “It was kind of like, what the fuck did I just do. And then I moved on.”

      I just think that the common point is that they are very open-minded. Most gay people I know tends to be open-minded (a consequence of being part of a sometime stigmatized minority is that you end up to be very tolerant), and in other hand, open-minded straight guys I know say that they will perhaps one day try same-sex experience (or already had) by curiosity.

  3. Isn’t the distinction between homosexual and heterosexual dependent upon who you have sex with, rather than the sexual acts you carry out with people? Sucking your own dick is an autosexual act, because it’s not something you do with anyone else. Sure, it’s different than masturbating with your hand, but it’s only different in action, not in intention. The objective of both acts is to get yourself off: it’s you doing you, not you doing someone else, nor someone else doing you. What you do to yourself to get off when you’re alone doesn’t say much about who you’re attracted to and who you want to take into your bed. Subject 2’s point about it being homosexual because he was fantasizing about other men is probably the best way to categorize the sexual leaning of anything you do to yourself.

    • Sure. i could see that. But, there’s the element of having a dick in your mouth at all that raises my eye brows. The penetrative aspect is what sets it apart in my eyes. I’m not remotely saying that blowing yourself is inherently a homosexual act. I feel as though it’s on the spectrum though. But that’s why I asked people about it. There seems to be a firm divide of people open to the idea and people who would never do it in a million years.

      • First – great topic! Fun read.

        My take on this kind of flips it around. I would say those who are scared to try it or say things like “no way in hell” etc, may be on the homophobic spectrum and/or not 100% comfortable with their own sexuality. Not saying they are gay haters or afraid they are gay or something, but think there may be something there lingering in the background causing this fear/raised eyebrows of it in general. For me it is a similar thing as people saying “I have nothing against gay people but it is gross” etc. The fact they have to clarify and point out the act makes them uncomfortable is interesting in itself.

        If we focus on the penetration aspect per your point, every girl who has ever fingered herself would now be gay… that is just a silly argument that holds no weight for me. I get people look at female sexuality differently to guys, but still don’t think the penetration concept holds up here.

        For the record, I am a straight dude who can’t even get close to sucking my own d, but totally would give it a whirl if I could, why not? I tried once, no luck.

      • I think fingers in a pussy and a dick in the mouth are not even close on the “intimacy” scale.
        And, like you said, female and male sexuality is wildly different. Females are far more fluid and relaxed about it all.There’s a reason straight dudes don’t get drunk and make out with each other at bars for fun. Partially cause of society but also cause, in general, straight guys aren’t wired to desire that in the slightest.

  4. While I believe that these 3 guys here have truly done this…some of those 37 clicks for yes were prob lying, with the initial poll. If lots chimed in on facebook and twitter, some of them were deeeefinitely lying. Because of the obvious implication of like “hey public..I have a big dick, wink!” (okay..I think you’d have to have a long one, but also flexibility and certain body proportions).

    Anyways, it seems to me that some guys love convincing others and themselves that they have big dicks. Guys and their dicks man, guys and their dicks, hahaha.

    • What is interesting is I have still have vivid memories in like 4th-5th grade of a bunch of us finding some sex-ed type book in school and killing ourselves laughing as it stated about 1 in 10 guys can and do suck their own dicks (in nicer words, or course).

      Looks like your poll on this is spot on with this info! (which by this point, is at last 20 years old if I do the math)

      • Ok fair enough, you have me swayed that all the poll answers are real!

        But I still maintain that when it’s not anonymous, *some* guys must be lying for that whole big dick angle.

        Also I know I was making fun of guys there but I should really be making fun of myself because I love this whole topic haha.

      • i honestly think it’s more about flexibility than dick size. From all accounts, these were young teenaged boys sucking themselves off. Not a crown i’d generally classify as big dick havers.

  5. Man, I’m not judging anybody cause I really don’t care, but, nigga you got a dick in your mouth, how you gonna tell me that shit ain’t gay?! If you want a dick in your mouth, that’s fine, perfectly fine, but you can’t tell me it’s not an act of homosexuality. And I agree, the idea that it’s the same as masturbation, doesn’t follow. I mean, if you’re a guy and you like butt stuff done to you, I don’t necessarily consider that to be a homosexual act, BUT, if you stick your own dick up your ass…yeah, kinda gay. And I get that sexuality is fluid and these dudes may not self identity as gay, or have any desire to sleep with men, but they definitely rank closer to bi- on the Kinsey scale than your average hetero bloke.

      • Hmm. I haven’t heard of anyone actually doing. I definitely think there are women flexible enough to do this! I work for a center where these extreme yoga classes are held and am certainly convinced that these chicks are capable. Who knows though, Just a funny thought. Wouldn’t hurt to throw it out there.

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