Revisiting rules for people over 30

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When I turned 35 (this was 4 years ago) , I took it upon myself to write a blog post about things people over the age of 30 should and should not do. this was met with mixed responses. For people who were avid readers of my blog, they kinda got it. I wasn’t making a definitive rule book but more just a list of things that, hey, maybe you shouldn’t really be focusing your energy on. Things like starting new drub habits, getting into fist fights and going clubbing. I think all three of these things are reasonable. I mean, sure, you can start doing coke at age 35, get in fights and go clubbing all you want but, my point is , perhaps, it’s not a good look.
There are few posts I’ve written over the years that have gotten constant feedback, even though they’re old as fuck. This one, one about how men should not wear open toed shoes and another about how Yung Lean fans are morons. A couple of those were written over 5 years ago and I still get comments on a weekly basis from people who act as if I took away their guns. If anything, it shows the power of google searches. Like, that means, there are people googling “What i should and should not do after the age of 30” and “should a man wear open toed shoes?”. People are fucking insane. The responses I got/get were/are mostly livid people telling me age is just a number and that there isn’t a rule book. True and true but , at the same time, if you can’t see that your life is different in your mid 30’s than it is in your mid 20’s, you’re probably somewhat of a mess. Or you were REALLY mature at 25.
Anyway, I wanted to take a look back and , perhaps add on to this list. As i get closer to 40, it’s clear that aging is a process of growth and perspective. It never ends. 5 years makes a huge difference. more than you can imagine. So, perhaps my tune has changed since i wrote this original post. Let’s take a look at the original list and where i stand now, almost 5 years later
1) Starting new drugs
My stance has softened a bit on this. In a way. While I still think a person who has reached 30 and never done cocaine or heroin should just keep with the program, those are two particular drugs. Other more mind expansive drugs have their place and, perhaps, may be even better cause you are older. Mushrooms or acid are the obvious choice. Mind expansion , when you’re a 20 year old is cool and all but that egg is barely even boiled at that point. Taking an evolved and often complicated mind of a fully formed adult and throwing it into a whirlwind via hallucinogenic drugs can be truly enlightening. Even something like Molly, which is a kids drug at heart, can be fun. i don’t recommend it on the regular but for special occasions? Why the fuck not. just don’t die, old man.

2)Getting is fist fights
Still dumb and they get dumber. A 30 year old getting into a bar fight is dumb but a 39 year old? jesus chrst dude…get it together.

3)Facial/body piercing
Thinking about it now, I guess it’s fine…in the sense that it’s your body, you’re old now and you may do with it what you please. But i still feel like piercing is a youthful form of expression. A 38 year old getting a tongue ring is weird. But things do happen later in life. You know how many people I know that have discovered they are gay or bi in their mid 30’s? Things come to the surface when you start to understand yourself. So, in the same way, maybe some person had a boring ass youth, got married young and had a few kids. In their early 30’s, they got divorced and met someone who took them to a swingers party. All of a sudden, they’re immersed in a world they would have never even considered and it was totally bought on by meeting one person. Next thing you know, that same former boring married person is now 40 and single. They have sensual oils by their bed, own a bag of dildos, wear a copious amount of scarves and have performed oral sex on someone of the same sex , even though they don’t consider themselves gay. If that can happen (and it does), surely someone could decide to get a septum pierce at age 37.

4)Going to clubs on the regular
This was short sighted on my part. Not cause clubs are great and a good time for people over 30. Clubs suck. If you go clubbing, you’re probably a cornball or a girl who “loves to dance!” and drink $18 beers purchased for you by creepy persian guys with cocaine. That said, i feel as though i overlooked the post 30 year old party life style. It goes strong. Sure, you may not be able to pull a 4 day bender like a 22 year old but, if you’re still a social being, you’re going out. You’re getting fucked up. You’re having fun. Now, I wouldn’t go to a club…but I wouldn’t do that shit when I was any age. But the point is, the party don’t stop at 30. If you got the time, money and social circle, it can go as long as you want.

5)Taking leisurely sports super seriously
Still dumb. Much like fighting, this is based on a weird chip on the shoulder of males. To me, this is really something all men should have under control by their early/mid 30’s. Their temper, their competitive streak, their realistic view of what sports means to them. You’re not a pro. This isn’t for a ring. This is for exercise and fun. I play basketball 2 or 3 times a week and it’s truly my favorite part of my week. Better than partying, better than sex , better than making music.
That’s cause it’s fun and it’s my only form of exercise. Two things that don’t share the same space very often. So, it seems silly to enter this thing that I truly love and look forward to with a shitty attitude. After all, IT’S FUN. That’s like going to a party and getting angry immediately for no reason. If you’re not a pro and the games don’t mean anything (when do they ever, really?), calm the fuck down and just enjoy yourself.

6)Blind musical idealism
I stand by this one deeply. Recently, one of my favorite rappers (Vince Staples) got shit on by a bunch of bitter old rap fans cause he said he didn’t care about 90’s hip hop. Staples was born in the mid 90’s and raised on post 2000 stuff. But, for some reason, people were up in arms like what he thinks about the music we grew up on matters. It’s not his to care about. But , still, people got all offended. Part of aging gracefully is letting go of extreme feelings that don’t do us any good. I love my old school hip hop, cause it’s what I LISTENED TO. But if a 22 year old wants to tell me that Young Thug is a better rapper than Rakim, what can I really say to them? It’s impossible to quantify and silly to even think about. Things have changed so much since we (my age group) were young. The internet! That didn’t fucking exist when i was buying tapes at tower records every week. how can we even begin to compare or think the current generation would have any idea what that was like? And, really, if i was them, I wouldn’t give a shit either. When i was a kid, i wasn’t bumping Grandmaster flash and furious 5. I was bumping Big daddy kane. Cause that’s what was popping then.
So, yeah, take it easy with the musical platitudes and just accept that you have your taste and other people have theirs.

7)Dressing like an 18 year old
I think the best thing a person in their 30’s can do, fashion wise, is take a little of the youth culture and apply it to their own, older, fashion sense. Like, you think those crazy space kicks look good? buy them and wear them with you not so skinny jeans and a nice jacket. But emulating exactly what’s hot with 21 year olds as a 35 year old is weird and feels like pandering. Kinda like puffy saying “swag!” or a 38 year old who’s “finna get turnt up!”.
Remember how people dressed in movies about the future? Like all shiny, with no buttons. Lots of silver. Or, if the movie is slightly more depressing, people from the future look kinda like fashionable bag ladies. Well, it’s funny cause the future is now. Like, you could take Bushwick , Brooklyn and dump all those people into Blade runner and no one would blink. The future is now!

Well, those were what I had before but I’d like to add a few more for good measure.
More things you shouldn’t do past 30:
1)Stop being so mad about Drake.
Let it go. Yes, I know he offends your fragile purist soul but he makes some good music and isn’t hurting anyone. Trust me, it gets MUCH worse. In ten years we will look back fondly at Drake. Kinda like how I do Mase, when I think about him now. But Drake is much better than Mase so wrap your head around that.

2)Be a prude
if you’re single and past 30, you should be fucking. I don’t mean whoring around putting your genitals all over anyone but, if you’re on a date, you are attracted to that person and you get along well? fuck that person. Literally.
Listen, we’re not in high school anymore. If you’re over 30 and still think girls who have sex on first dates are sluts, grow up. If you’re a girl over 30 and think there should be a definitive time line for when you allow the man to go inside you, grow up. It’s sex. We’re both adults. We both enjoy it (hopefully). beating around the bush is for nervous kids who can’t fuck anyway. You’re down? I’m down. And when it’s over, we can both act like adults and life will go on.

3) going to music festivals…a lot
This will get me some heat but let me explain. There’s nothing wrong with going to music festivals at any age. Do you. you love live music and the outdoors? Go nuts. i’m speaking more of the people who’s life is based around hopping from festival to festival. Like deadheads but ravers…and old. it’s just not our game to play, guys. going to a few select festivals a year is totally reasonable but if you’re packing up your 1985 Volkswagon bug and traveling across the country watching the same dj’s play in some fucking field, while you got bills to pay and maybe some kids? GET YOUR LIFE TOGETHER. That’s the thing, there’s nothing inherently wrong about most of these things but, after a certain age, you must be responsible for yourself and those who rely on you. All that said, if you’re a single person, with no job, no bills and an endless flow of money, I guess you’re the exception to the rule.

4)Posting meltdowns on social media
To be clear, NO ONE should do this but i give some slack to people in their 20’s and younger. At that age, you’re dumb and your emotions are even dumber.
But, yo…if you’re a 36 year old and going off about “Your haters!” on facebook or spilling the beans about how you thought about killing yourself the night earlier…get it together. This is social media. Save that shit for your actual close friends. When you post that, realize that, while your good friends will see it, so will that rando you fucked in mexico and that girl you hated from high school. For no other reason than that, you gotta chill. Write a diary or something. Diaries are great cause they won’t judge you and screencap your meltdown. That’s nice of them.

5)Have relationships constantly blow up
I don’t mean dating. i mean friendships. If you’re over 30 and constantly getting into arguments with friends and burning bridges, one of two things is happening
a)you have shitty taste in people and it’s becoming clear
b)you’re the problem
Either way, real friendship is one of the most important thing people can have. We all have acquaintances and social friends but I’m talking actual close friends. There is no reason that 2 adults in their mid 30’s should be fighting like petulant children and storming out of rooms in a huff. Well, there are many reasons, to be honest, but none of them are actually good. We all make mistakes. Nobody is perfect. In fact, we’re all pretty flawed to the core. But , at some point in life you either gotta cut the fat or just deal with it. fighting with friends over petty bullshit is not something an adult should do with any regularity. That’s some “real housewives” shit and those hoes are emotionally stunted morons with way too much money. If anything, a person over 30’s mantra should be “Don’t be like a real housewife”. That’s actually a perfect guideline to live by.

Whelp…that’s all i got at the moment. I look forward to your rage. just take it easy, your old and your heart isn’t what it used to be.

This or that: Da$h Versus DP

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While I like doing a good old “Yay or nay” with you guys, let’s try something a little different today. What we have here is two artists I know nothing about. I don’t know where they’re from, I don’t know if they’ve released other music, I don’t know how old these songs even are. I could do some research pretty easily but that wouldn’t be like me, now would it? Regardless, I do find something interesting about both these songs and I think it would be interesting to see what you guys think. Partially cause I wanna know but also to get an idea where your heads are at. These are two very different styles of rap. First off we have Da$h with a song called “Hello”

It’s a sloppy, very high/drunk kinda song. He even seems to be totally wasted in the video itself. But, it’s got something.
The next video is DP with “Jabar”

This is more straight forward. Kinda reminds me of the CLipse a little. Even the beat. Far less abstract and much more focused than the Da$h video.
So, what song do you like more? Feel free to elaborate in the comment section.

Here’s a compilation of remixes I’ve made

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One of my favorite things to do when I’ve got nothing else too important to work on is remix random songs. some old, some new, some completely out of left field.
Over the years I’ve done a bunch of these and given them away for free (cause I’m cool like that) but I figured it might be nice to put a bunch of them in a folder and give them all away at once. So, dig in…enjoy these random remixes I’ve made over the last 10 years or so.

1)A dream: Donny Hathaway
2)Lost and lookin’: Sam Cooke
3)Nobody’s fault: Nina SImone
4)Fidelity: Regina Spektor
5)Bitch better have my money: Rihanna
6)I can’t feel my face: The Weeknd
7)Classic man: Jidenna
8)Dead hands:The Skins
9)Hot knife: Fiona apple
10)Nina simone mash up
11)Sunny Smash and bash: Various artists
12)Yesterday is Here: Tom Waits
Download link HERE
Alternate link here:
http://www.mediafire.com/download/dn5ay9bz19c86b5/REMIXES+OF+STUFF.zip

Answers for Questions vol. 262

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Whattup? Welcome to “Answers for Questions”. You, the good people of the internet, asked me stuff so I answered it. I can always use new questions so don’t be shy. Ask away. Send me questions to phatfriendblog@gmail.com or leave them in the comment section below. Please be creative. A few of this weeks questions are kinda boring music questions. I’d rather you get weirder. I know you can do it. I believe in you!

have you ever gotten into a protracted internet war, on a forum or on twitter or anywhere? Like, just went back and forth with someone until you both looked like idiots. I used to engage in these in the early internet days, but there was something on the Hiero Hoopla forum in…2001 or 2002, I’d say, that was just demoralizing and definitely made me look like an utter asshole. That’s when I learned the best response is to say nothing, and to never read the comments.
Oh lord have I. For as long as I’ve been on the internet I’ve been getting into those.
I used to post of this newsgroup “Rec.Music.Hip.hop” in the 90’s and early 2000’s and I’d get into flame wars on a regular basis. I even got into it was Sole and Pedestrian from Anticon before any of us were even remotely known.
More recently, I’ll get into back and forths with people on facebook cause , i dunno, i have this thing in me that I can’t let someone being overly dickish just slide. Like just shitty remarks with no purpose other than to be shitty? I react. Probably cause I would never seek someone out (especially a stranger) and say something like that to them.

For instance, I got into it with some girl on twitter cause she made the mistake of @-ing me in a vitriolic attack. For some reason, she felt it necessary to alert me that I was human garbage. The part that annoyed me was she didn’t explain what i did. It was just a blanket statement. Oh, and she blocked me so i couldn’t even ask her what I did to incite such anger. This kinda shit happens sometimes and I’m stubborn enough to not let it slide. So, I retweeted her and wrote some snarky thing. Problem is, my fans then launched an all out attack on her , which wasn’t really my goal. I just wanted answers. Keep in mind, this girl had 11 followers. So, it was kind of a dick move on my part but, at the same time, people need to be responsible for the actions. I think folks on the internet forget that there are real people on the other end of those screen names. Just cause I have a little notoriety doesn’t mean I will just accept some person I’ve never met telling me I’m a piece of shit. It’s not like I’m a kardashian and people aren’t groomed to hate me. I’m a nobody really so when someone reacts that way, it’s out of nowhere.
Anyway, eventually, she reached out to me on facebook and we talked it out. I took down all the posts and that was that. Turns out, she was offended by this very blog. OF COURSE SHE WAS. But it’s all water under the bridge now. Gotta say, I don’t regret it though cause I bet she never @’s someone again , thinking it’s all good to shit on a stranger.

Hi; you probably answered this one already, but:
Do you have a track of your own or somebody else that you feel that you’re into for the longest time of your life and still enjoying it everytime you’re listening to it? If so, which tracks are those?
/ basically which is your oldest favourite track from yourself and anyone else to this day?

These are two very different questions. Cause I definitely don’t listen to my music the way I listen to music made by others. I have a much deeper appreciation for other peoples music and, therefor, there are going to be tons of old songs I’ve loved for 20 years. Meanwhile, with my own music, I’m pretty much sick of it all (the older it is, the less I wanna hear it) and can’t listen to the old stuff with a discerning ear cause it’s not like I listen to it for enjoyment. It’s almost impossible for me to listen to it without a critical ear.
That said, there are some tracks that come on that I can get into hearing.
None shall pass” with Aesop, “A better place“, “Roll out the red carpet“. Those are all old ones I hear and I’m like “ah, that was pretty cool”. But I’ll be damned if I ever put them on to simply enjoy as music.

So Blockhead, you’re easily one of the top producers out there right now. Your ability to concentrate on detail and make elaborate soundscapes without it sounding cluttered is something that gives your instrumentals a lot of character and spunk. The twang you have in your music is fucking naughty, like the garbage pale kids of 1950’s BK combined with Fat Albert of the 70’s. Very bad ass, lucid, funky shit. So while I’m geeking out over your whole discog, I want to know what hip hop albums make you completely geek out. So what are your top 5 favorite Hip Hop albums, production wise?

I hate these questions. No offense meant, I just mean that “top 5” list questions are really hard and then tend to be constantly changing. I don’t have definitive top 5 in anything. Although, I’d probably put “top five questions” in my top five of “questions I dislike”.
But, I’ll throw a bone…this is in no way definitive. I will 100% stupidly forget some great album but I’ll just rattle off 5 albums who’s production changed the game for me
1)Black Sheep: Wolf in sheeps clothing
2)NWA: Efil4zaggin
3)Group Home: Living proof
4)Jungle Brothers: Done by the forces of nature
5)Aceyalone: Book of Human language

If you could make a pineapple appear anywhere in the world at a time of your choice where would you put it?

You can describe a situation rather than a specific place at a specific time. For example: In someone’s bed right before they wake. In the hands of an NFL running back right before he catches a touchdown pass.

In your moms ass right now , obviously.
No, just kidding.
Hmm…It’d be cool to have one appear , growing out of Donald Trumps ear in the middle of a debate. I’d say his mouth but that would make his head explode and it would be gross to watch. Like “Scanners” but with a pineapple.

What’s billy woods like in real life? He seems intense. Have you ever seen his face clearly, or are the promotional photos/music videos like that because he permanently has a black bar over his eyes/blurring effect following him around?

Woods is the man. I’ve hung out with him a bunch. He’s a super friendly, funny and smart guy. You know, i’ve met a lot of rappers over the years but he’s one where I very much felt a bond with immediately. Like, we’d be friends if rap didn’t exist. He’s the type of guy who will call me with a specific music based question and we’ll end up talking on the phone for an hour about everything but rap.
I fully get why people would think he’s intense (his music certainly is) but, in person, he’s a very chill guy.
Oops, am I supposed to not let that be known? Shit…maybe i should have lied about this one.

Block, who do you think did the mentally disturbed, drug-addicted white boy steez the best? Eminem, Cage or Slaine

Without question, Cage. Eminem was amazing and also troubled but Cage did it in an abstract way that kinda set the bar. Em was more about the rapping and flow patterns while cage was just a fucking weirdo who actually rapped like a person on the drugs he spoke about. I don’t think Slaine even enters the conversation.

Yay or Nay: Giftz

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Chicago continues to be a hot bed for good rap. Rap of all varieties. If you’ve been reading this blog for a while you know I’m a big fan of Tree. He raps and makes beats, coined the phrase “soul trap” and has been consistently making good music for years now. Well, he’s got friends. Todays example is Giftz.
A little rougher than Tree. A little wilder. Where Tree seems like the wise older dude from block, Giftz is a younger dude he chills with who might duff you out if needed. Still, musically, the “soul trap” sound is there and I really think that’s a winning combination.
Check him out:



Here’s some older stuff. One with Tree and the other with Freddie Gibbs.

So, what do you think?

Ask Dr. Tony Vol. 49

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I got my notepad out and stethoscope on. Ready to change lives. Welcome to “Ask Dr. Tony”. This is where readers with real life problems ask me, a niche hip hop producer who dropped out of college, for advice. Why me? Why not? I don’t know you, have no reason to lie to you and, most of all, I’m a level headed guy who will do my best to steer you in a sane direction. if you have problems in life and love, holler at me. it’s anonymous and can’t be worse than asking your dumb friends who are probably sick of hearing about it anyway. email me questions: phatfriendblog@gmail.com or leave them in the comment section below. I’m here to help…and , sometimes, make fun of you if the mood strikes.
Let’s check this weeks batch…

I had two recent dating experiences that left me very confused. The first one was with a girl I had met through friends a couple times – really cute and super smart. I got her number and met for drinks. It went really well and we agreed to hang out again, but she was kind of flaky about texting back so I asked a mutual friend what was up and he told me she has a boyfriend (which she neglected to mention the first, second, and third times we hung out).

Fast forward about a week later and I’m on a date with someone from okcupid – another cute, smart, cool chick. Again, I thought it went really well. We were both really into the conversation, making each other laugh, telling stories, etc. She invited me back to her place but then hesitated at the last moment because she was worried what her roommates would think, so we agreed to hang out another time. Since then, she’s been sort of flaky with the texting too. I invited her to something on Thursday but she said she had plans and then didn’t suggest another date. I want to ask her out again but after the last time I’m suspicious. Do you think this girl has a boyfriend too? Seems less likely since she’s on a dating website, but who knows.

Any advice you could give would be much appreciated.

If online dating has taught me anything is that’s people, in general, are flakey. Whether it be cause they’re insecure, not interested or actually busy…people be canceling plans all over the place. It’s just the nature of how things work. Don’t take it personally.
There is something great about canceling plans. Especially dates with people you don’t really know. There’s so much anxiety and fear that comes into play when meeting new people. Both parties are nervous. Both want to meet up but also know it would be easier to just stay home and watch tv. It’s just the nature of online dating. I would say persistence is key but I’m not even sure. I’ve found just being relaxed about everything is good. Sure, you will lose some possibilities along the way but better that than be the guy who’s texting all the time and coming off crazy/desperate. If it’s meant to be, it will be.
I went on a date with this super cute girl a few months ago. we hit it off and I felt the date went very well. Very similar to what you seem to be describing. We mad tentative plans to hang again but we were both busy and , when that time came again, she canceled. Haven’t seen her since and it’s okay. Shit happens. Maybe I’ll see her some other time or maybe I’ll never speak to her again. The point i’m trying to make is , when dipping your toes into the world of single life, people are gonna come and go and you have very little control over that. You just gotta roll with it.
Another aspect to this is that you never know what’s going on in their lives. For all you know, the second girl you went on a date with was dating a few other people and she started really liking one of them before you got a chance to plant your flag, so to speak. That’s not only possible, it’s likely.
Basically, like Jay-z said, on the the next one. Chalk it up as experience. Just don’t burn bridges unless you have to , cause you never really know who will pop back into your life and when.

Hi Tony, what would you say to this: My brother has been hearing voices and displaying skitzophrenic behavior at an increasingly worse rate for the past 5 years. My Dad pays for his apartment and life that consists of isolation, painting, and making music that all sounds like trance designed elevator music. The guys getting crazier and crazier all the time and is now making threats of physical violence to my mother as well as strangers in public for things he has imagined that they have done to him-things like coughing at him and honking their car horns at him. My parents are resentfully divorced. My dad is afraid to put him in the mental hospital because he’s an academic pussy and promised my brother he would never do that or put him on medication-he believes it will make my brother a fat zombie…(trust me i think it’s a bull shit excuse too).

So my dad decides to leave for a month to Europe to bang his stupid Spanish wife. Now my brothers starting to get real fucking crazy.

So what the fuck would you do tony. Call the cops on your psycho brother and hurt your dad (who is a figure in your future career path) or do you just stay the fuck out of it and let the shit show happen and forget about it.

Goddamn dude…that’s a quite the pickle. I say that cause , once possible violence is bought into the picture, these things ramp up incredibly. I mean, I’m not a huge “medicate your problems” kinda guy but , at the same time, some peoples mania needs to be tamed. If it turns the psychotic possible criminal to a docile zombie than maybe it’s for the best. It sounds like your dad is just not willing to accept the reality of his child. That’s not unusual though. My question is “where does your mom stand on this?” She’s the one who’s being threatened so, if anyone has the right to call the doctors up to take him away, it’s her. Perhaps you need to talk to her and have her handle it all so 1)it will put your brother out of reach for the time being 2)It won’t be your doing and your dad can’t really hold it over your head.
I’m assuming your parents aren’t friendly so what’s the harm of your dad being mad at your mom? So he can hate her more than he already does? Seems like a safe bet. And, beyond that, once your brother is in a facility , perhaps they can begin to address his needs and your dad may come around a bit if he sees improvement.
Or not! The fact that your dad is an “academic pussy” leads me to believe he can , at the very least, be reasoned with. Academic pussies tend to pretend to be open minded and cerebral. Hopefully he is like that. Good luck. This all sounds like a total shit show.

I’m hesitant to join Tinder (i’m college-aged). You and a lot of people I know have recently taken to it. I’d ideally find my potential partner on my own accord and not through a commonly-used-just-for-hook-ups app (though there are some respectable people on there). My friends say that they enjoy it just as a social experiment or as an ego-booster. What do you think? Should I just get over myself and take the plunge into it?

TINDER IS NOT SERIOUS. It is what you make it. You wanna go on there and find a soul mate? You probably can. You wanna go on there to find someone to piss on your while you chew a dog toy, that can also be arranged.
I get the hesitance. It is a “hook up” site but, you know what, it really isn’t anymore. All you gotta do is write that you’re “not here for hook ups” and that’s that. Trust me, I left swipe every time I see that horse shit.
But here’s another way to look at it. Tinder (and other dating sites) are not the end all of meeting people. They’re just an additional tool. You can still go out and meet people like a normal human being. Tinder won’t stop that.
When you’re on tinder at first, it becomes an obsession. You’ll spend hours just flipping through people. But, two weeks later, you will be a zombie about it and a care infinitely less. That’s kinda how it works. After a while, it becomes some shit to do when you’re bored that rarely has any consequence. Maybe you’ll get a match that interests you , maybe you won’t. The pressure and excitement wanes incredibly.
Might I suggest looking into okcupid? It’s way more tailored for something of substance. The settings are way more exact and there is actual info on people so you can make an educated decision. After all, Tinder is basically a video game.

I’d also add that I’m very much opposed to college aged people settling down for the long haul. I’m just saying, you’re extremely young and have a lot of life ahead of you. Getting involved with someone you might marry now could be the biggest mistake on your life. Just saying. Talk to anyone who’s been in a relationship over 10 years who grew up in the last 40 years…they’re miserable. Trust me, that shit can wait.

im newly single after being in a relationship for almost 5yrs.. i made a profile on a dating site so i could go on some dates and meet some men to take my mind off the breakup and get some male attention (just being honest!) so i met a guy on OKC that i had already met IRL like one time thru a friend and he would actively talk to me on twitter..but i didnt really kno him type of thing…so i immediately felt comfortable meeting up w him and i did..
he is really nice and successful, has a great place, and is super tall, and pretty attractive and eats the pussy sooooo good like damn..
but i can tell that he is starting to fall for me pretty hard by how much time he wants to spend together..
and im just not very good at communicating so i tend to just ignore more and more which is totally fucked up but i do not think i could see myself committing to him. im still healing from my previous break up and wanting to get out there and have some fun…
how do i tell him that i really just want to come around from time to time to sit on his face and not be all couple-y
in the nicest possible way

The best way is honesty. Tell him, in the nicest way possible, that you’re not in the right head space for anything serious right now. I feel like guys, in general, can both understand and accept that concept. Probably cause we’re generally the one imposing it on others.
When you tell someone like that how you feel, you’re basically putting the ball in their court. You’re saying “this is how it is, are you in or out?”. If they are in then , great. you have set the ceiling for what the relationship is and they have agreed to abide by it. They know the rules and , if they follow them, things will be fine. If they are not into it, no harm done. You can amicably part ways and chalk it up to bad timing. Who knows, maybe down the line things will work out when you’re both in a similar head space.
The “I like hooking up with you but i can’t date you” line is a tricky one but it’s also common. just make your case in a sane and sensitive manner and see how he responds. Worst case, you lose a good pussy eater. Lucky for you, there are pussy eaters everywhere. Life will go on.

What’s popping, Soundcloud?

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As a musician on soundcloud, I often forget that it’s actually a source for good new music. Instead of looking at my stream, i just check in on my own comments , like and other pointless bullshit like that. Well, that’s my bad. selfish.
So, today, I wanted to the spotlight on some of the good stuff that’s been bubbling over there lately. You know, let you all hear the stuff that I’ve been listening to.

Gotta start it out with the #1 sports related song. Homeboy Sandman making all New Yorkers proud with this old school Mets Anthem

Then We got a ton of new Shirt joints. In case you don’t know, he’s been doing this thing where he makes songs with ANY producer who gives him $250 bucks. While this may seem like a cheap money scheme with a high probability for sucking it’s actually yielded some good results.


Here’s a now joint with Open Mike Eagle and Serengheti as the group Cavanaugh. Looks like Mike is making beats now too. sounds good, bro!

Your Old droog also stay busy. It feels like this dude drops a new song every week.

Philly rapper Asaad been making music for a while. He dropped a new 10 song album. Kinda mellow trappy stuff. I like some of it. Definitely good for the weed smoking set.

Then we got this new Michael Christmas song, which may be my favorite new thing I’ve heard in a while. The beat is hypnotic on some “93 til infinity” shit. Really excited for his new album.

Next up we got Prof. I’m actually late to the game on him but his shit is pretty awesome. He reminds me of older danny brown in a way. He did a joint with aesop on the beat recently that’s definitely pretty awesome.

And I’ll close this out with houston’s Sauce Walka, who made a fantastic Drake diss song a few weeks ago. Sauce is pretty crazy and , I’m guessing, not up the alley of most of the people who read this blog but I love him. If him and gunplay did an album together my life would be complete…