Answers for questions vol. 260


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Hey! That’s what I imagine that little goat is saying in the picture.
Welcome to another edition of “Answers for questions”. you ask me stuff, and I answer it. I will be honest and try to keep it entertaining as well. If you’d like to join the fun, fire off a question at me…email it to me at phatfriendblog@gmail.com or simply leave it in the comment section below. Be weird. Be creative. This week has a few good examples…Let’s check it out, shall we?

How did you go about getting signed to NinjaTune/what steps are required in the process of getting your music produced under a label?

The way I got signed to Ninja tune is not a model that would work in 2015. I got signed in 2003 (maybe even late 2002).Back then, people could get signed by sending in a demo or word of mouth. The internet existed but it didn’t have close to the influence it has now. In my case, I made the album first. “Music by cavelight” had been complete for a year or two before Ninja even heard it. A different label had asked me to make an album so I did. They vanished so i was left with this done album and nowhere to take it. My manager took it and sent it to a bunch of labels. One of those labels was Warp records. They had it and were considering it but , ultimately, passed on it cause it didn’t fit their sound. They did, however, pass it over to Ninja Tune. From what i heard, they were playing it around the office for a while until someone over there was just like “Hey, this album is good, let’s sign this guy”. And that’s it. I had a little name already cause of Aesop so, it’s not like I was a complete nobody but, really, I got signed off a demo tape. I’m pretty sure that doesn’t happen ever anymore. If anything, someone might get signed off of soundcloud or cause they have a popular Youtube video. The rules of the era I got signed in do not apply whatsoever to today. So, I honestly can’t tell you the process of getting signed. Furthermore, record labels barely exist in the same way as they did back then so that’s another hitch to this. Basically, you gotta make your own lane and hope it catches on. The dream of “getting signed” isn’t even a relevant one anymore. In fact, look at how badly most of the youtube sensations failed once they got signed. You’re better off putting shit out yourself.

What would you rather give up for life: porn, hip-hop music (besides your own production), or sandwiches?
Jesus what a choice…I honestly would choose any of these on a given day and refuse any of them on the next. It really depends. Porn would be hard cause my brain is 100% wired to need to see that when I jerk off. The days of flipping through a sears catalogue are long gone. And who’s got an imagination anymore? At the same time, in 20 years, will I still be jerking off regularly? So, the long term effects of that would probably be positive. Hip hop is similar to porn. I can’t imagine my life without it but, down the road, it’s not gonna be as important to me. I can’t see myself keeping up with new shit when I’m 60. I barely do that now. Sandwiches are the one option I know for a fact i cannot give up. Those will remain in my life forever. They’re the perfect food and too convenient to ever remove from my existence.
So…it pains me to think about it but I guess porn would have to go. Mainly cause it’s the only option that me stopping would probably be better for me in the long run. Who knows? perhaps it would clear my head and bring on a creative renaissance. Of just a bunch of awkward adult wet dreams. Still, I’d rather have a good sandwich.

If you were forced at gunpoint to either fuck a close family member (sister or mom), or get fucked by a random dude (average, meatwise) you’ve never met, which would you do?

I hate you and your question.
The reality of this is that , under no circumstance could I get aroused to have sex with a close family member of mine. So, in a way, that’s not even an option. it leaves me one choice: PULL THE TRIGGER.
Nah, but I would seriously consider that , over being anally raped. In the end, I’d probably take the raping but when I think of the lasting mental effects that would have on me, it’s a close call. It’s not like you can just shake that off and the next day you’re like “Oh, man , how crazy was it when that dude sodomized me last night? Anyway what’s for lunch?”. The only reason I wouldn’t just take the bullet is cause I don’t really have a leaning towards dying anytime soon. Even less that, say, some dudes cock in my ass.

A few years back, someone posted Prototype on youtube. They also posted Allies in my mind (with vocals), a song called Creepshow IV, and a song called Really real Ft Da Duns. Did you happen to produce any of these songs? I have mp3s of all four.
Just to clarify what this guy is talking about, those are all early demo stuff I did with aesop. Including me and my old group (the overground) rapping. Like 1996-8 i think.
I produced Proto-type and Really Real. Dub L did allies in my mind and Creepshow IV was made by me, Jer and Aesop on some crappy keyboard. I just looked on youtube and literally none of those songs are still up there. Too bad for you guys! Not too bad for me and aesop! I will say that, I kick my best verse ever on “Creepshow IV”. So i wouldn’t even be mad if that one was up.

Considering your love for basketball and hip hop I ask you this question:

If you had to create a DREAM TEAM of hip hop artists similar to the 1992 US Olympic Dream Team, who would each player’s hip hop doppleganger be and WHY?

I have provided the Dream Team Roster for reference:

BONUS POINTS for:
Dominique Wilkins – you can’t say BLOCKHEAD!!! 😛
Isaiah Thomas

Jesus this is gonna be long and boring for anyone who doesn’t REALLY care about basketball and old school rap. I also want to be clear that I’m going for accuracy, not just my favorite rappers. In fact, I don’t even like some of the rappers I’m gonna list here…

Christian Laetner- Mac miller
Cause he’s new and would be there to simply fill a spot. He’d get no burn but still be happy to be included.

David Robinson- Will smith
He’s a goodie two shoes. I feel as though I’m taking away from Robinsons game by picking the fresh prince but I literally couldn’t think of any other goodie two shoes type rappers. At least he made “Summertime”, right?

Patrick Ewing-Grand Puba
Just cause Puba would do those reggae tinged songs every now and then and Ewing was a jamaican NYC legend. Also, I feel both Ewing and Puba are underrated in the larger scheme of things.

Larry Bird- Eminem
I mean, that’s obvious, right? As awful as Eminem is now let us never forget that he was one of the best for a few years. he went past just being a white rapper and was a great rapper. Bird was that in basketball for sure. And they both loved to pop shit.

Scottie Pippen- Flava Flav
i realize I’m selling him short here cause Pipped was incredible…but he was the greatest second fiddle ever. That’s flav. I almost put Prince Poetry of Organized Konfusion here but , when it’s all said and done, for all he lacked in actual talent, Flav made up for in impact.

Michael Jordan- Rakim
Best player ever. he changed the game. It was between Rakim and Big Daddy Kane and I went with Rakim cause Jordan was always serious. Kane was more about the ladies.

Clyde Drexler- The D.O.C.
They’re both one of the all time greats who seemingly get overlooked cause they played/rapped in an era where the greatest to ever do it played/rapped.

Karl Malone- Big mike (of the ghetto boys)
Both were big, dumb rednecks who were undeniably effective.

John Stockton-Big dru ha of the Boot camp CLique
He’s the white guy who was never flashy but always set things up for his people. Sure, Dru ha only rapped once on a record but his presence was felt far beyond that.

Chris Mullin-Mc Serch
White Queens guy who had the swagger before that even was a thing. he played the game his way. Admittedly, i got way more love for Mullin than I do for Serch nowadays but it’s close enough

Charles Barkley- Willie D
Always outspoken and exciting to watch/listen to. They were both tough and didn’t take shit from anyone. Also, both funny. Easily , two of my all time favorites.

Magic Johnson- KRS-1

One of the greats. Both incredibly versatile. Legends. Also, they’re both unfathomably annoying and unlistenable in 2015.

Dominique Wilkens- Lord Finesse

Dominque was the human highlight film and Finesse was the original punchline guy. Both would make you jump out your seat and both are never discussed in all time greats, even though you could make a case for either of them.

Isaiah Thomas- Buckshot Shorty
I dunno. it just feels right…

I recently was exposed to unique Harlem tradition of putting ketchup on pizza. Despite my initial disgust I tried it and that shit tastes great. (It’s just tastes like cold extra sauce) I’m also not trying put it pizza every time either. Where you do you stand on this?

I am familiar with this tradition and I do not ride for it at all. It’s right there with putting extra sugar in your sprite. It’s just unnecessary. I also don’t love Ketchup. It’s got it’s place and time but not on a slice of pizza.

8 thoughts on “Answers for questions vol. 260

  1. I was 99.9% positive you would stand in opposition of the pizza ketchup steez. im equal opposed to dunking the slice in ranch. I’ve learned to appreciate mayo, but I draw the line at ranch and all it’s horrendous gloutonous potential.

  2. Oh heyyyyyy little goat heyyyyy!
    Questions:

    On a scale from 0-100 (0 being, you believe absolutely NOTHING the USA has said about the moon landings and space travel; 100 being, you believe absolutely EVERYTHING the USA has said about the moon landings and space travel) where do you land?

    Do you think it’s common for musicians to become depressed when they’re touring (in my mind, touring seems like it would have some fun parts, but it seems sooooo isolating and exhausting).

    In terms of beauty trends, 2015 has been a huge year for eyebrows. Bold and polished brows have been everywhere. Is this something that you even notice as a guy?

  3. Oh yeah, so I feel lame talking about Halloween already, but at the same time I always regret leaving it to the last min.

    So you know how last week you posted a pic of your halloween costume here? Do you mind if I jack that idea? I need to dress up for work and your idea was genius, such little effort. Im just gonna find a random lady hand puppet and then dress in the exact same way.
    (I know that obviously you wont cross paths with me and wont care at all, just wanted to ask anyways so I am not an idea thief!)

      • Oh I didnt mean that same puppet, just any hand puppet I can find, preferably a female one (gonna try for a cheap one at a toy store).

        If you need any ideas…I recommend going as something that is the opposite of your real self: Conspiracy Theorist / an “I’m offended by everything posted online” Person (might be hard to personify though) / an Internet Troll.

        …maybe even a crazy cat lady or fuck it..dress up as a cat haha. People would love it!!

  4. Just subscribed, so hopefully these haven’t already been asked, but here goes:

    Before you were able to make a living off of your music, what was the shittiest job you ever had?

    Whats the weirdest place you’ve ever had sex (or rubbed one out)? i.e. movie theater, airplane bathroom, Chuck-e-cheese ball pit, etc…

    If you had to choose between a pogo stick or a unicycle as your sole means of transportation which would you choose? (please note that choosing the unicycle does not magically bestow you with the ability to ride one. Unless you already know how, you’re gonna have to learn)

    Fuck/Marry/Kill: Sandwiches, Pizza, Burritos?

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