Revisiting rules for people over 30


When I turned 35 (this was 4 years ago) , I took it upon myself to write a blog post about things people over the age of 30 should and should not do. this was met with mixed responses. For people who were avid readers of my blog, they kinda got it. I wasn’t making a definitive rule book but more just a list of things that, hey, maybe you shouldn’t really be focusing your energy on. Things like starting new drub habits, getting into fist fights and going clubbing. I think all three of these things are reasonable. I mean, sure, you can start doing coke at age 35, get in fights and go clubbing all you want but, my point is , perhaps, it’s not a good look.
There are few posts I’ve written over the years that have gotten constant feedback, even though they’re old as fuck. This one, one about how men should not wear open toed shoes and another about how Yung Lean fans are morons. A couple of those were written over 5 years ago and I still get comments on a weekly basis from people who act as if I took away their guns. If anything, it shows the power of google searches. Like, that means, there are people googling “What i should and should not do after the age of 30” and “should a man wear open toed shoes?”. People are fucking insane. The responses I got/get were/are mostly livid people telling me age is just a number and that there isn’t a rule book. True and true but , at the same time, if you can’t see that your life is different in your mid 30’s than it is in your mid 20’s, you’re probably somewhat of a mess. Or you were REALLY mature at 25.
Anyway, I wanted to take a look back and , perhaps add on to this list. As i get closer to 40, it’s clear that aging is a process of growth and perspective. It never ends. 5 years makes a huge difference. more than you can imagine. So, perhaps my tune has changed since i wrote this original post. Let’s take a look at the original list and where i stand now, almost 5 years later
1) Starting new drugs
My stance has softened a bit on this. In a way. While I still think a person who has reached 30 and never done cocaine or heroin should just keep with the program, those are two particular drugs. Other more mind expansive drugs have their place and, perhaps, may be even better cause you are older. Mushrooms or acid are the obvious choice. Mind expansion , when you’re a 20 year old is cool and all but that egg is barely even boiled at that point. Taking an evolved and often complicated mind of a fully formed adult and throwing it into a whirlwind via hallucinogenic drugs can be truly enlightening. Even something like Molly, which is a kids drug at heart, can be fun. i don’t recommend it on the regular but for special occasions? Why the fuck not. just don’t die, old man.

2)Getting is fist fights
Still dumb and they get dumber. A 30 year old getting into a bar fight is dumb but a 39 year old? jesus chrst dude…get it together.

3)Facial/body piercing
Thinking about it now, I guess it’s fine…in the sense that it’s your body, you’re old now and you may do with it what you please. But i still feel like piercing is a youthful form of expression. A 38 year old getting a tongue ring is weird. But things do happen later in life. You know how many people I know that have discovered they are gay or bi in their mid 30’s? Things come to the surface when you start to understand yourself. So, in the same way, maybe some person had a boring ass youth, got married young and had a few kids. In their early 30’s, they got divorced and met someone who took them to a swingers party. All of a sudden, they’re immersed in a world they would have never even considered and it was totally bought on by meeting one person. Next thing you know, that same former boring married person is now 40 and single. They have sensual oils by their bed, own a bag of dildos, wear a copious amount of scarves and have performed oral sex on someone of the same sex , even though they don’t consider themselves gay. If that can happen (and it does), surely someone could decide to get a septum pierce at age 37.

4)Going to clubs on the regular
This was short sighted on my part. Not cause clubs are great and a good time for people over 30. Clubs suck. If you go clubbing, you’re probably a cornball or a girl who “loves to dance!” and drink $18 beers purchased for you by creepy persian guys with cocaine. That said, i feel as though i overlooked the post 30 year old party life style. It goes strong. Sure, you may not be able to pull a 4 day bender like a 22 year old but, if you’re still a social being, you’re going out. You’re getting fucked up. You’re having fun. Now, I wouldn’t go to a club…but I wouldn’t do that shit when I was any age. But the point is, the party don’t stop at 30. If you got the time, money and social circle, it can go as long as you want.

5)Taking leisurely sports super seriously
Still dumb. Much like fighting, this is based on a weird chip on the shoulder of males. To me, this is really something all men should have under control by their early/mid 30’s. Their temper, their competitive streak, their realistic view of what sports means to them. You’re not a pro. This isn’t for a ring. This is for exercise and fun. I play basketball 2 or 3 times a week and it’s truly my favorite part of my week. Better than partying, better than sex , better than making music.
That’s cause it’s fun and it’s my only form of exercise. Two things that don’t share the same space very often. So, it seems silly to enter this thing that I truly love and look forward to with a shitty attitude. After all, IT’S FUN. That’s like going to a party and getting angry immediately for no reason. If you’re not a pro and the games don’t mean anything (when do they ever, really?), calm the fuck down and just enjoy yourself.

6)Blind musical idealism
I stand by this one deeply. Recently, one of my favorite rappers (Vince Staples) got shit on by a bunch of bitter old rap fans cause he said he didn’t care about 90’s hip hop. Staples was born in the mid 90’s and raised on post 2000 stuff. But, for some reason, people were up in arms like what he thinks about the music we grew up on matters. It’s not his to care about. But , still, people got all offended. Part of aging gracefully is letting go of extreme feelings that don’t do us any good. I love my old school hip hop, cause it’s what I LISTENED TO. But if a 22 year old wants to tell me that Young Thug is a better rapper than Rakim, what can I really say to them? It’s impossible to quantify and silly to even think about. Things have changed so much since we (my age group) were young. The internet! That didn’t fucking exist when i was buying tapes at tower records every week. how can we even begin to compare or think the current generation would have any idea what that was like? And, really, if i was them, I wouldn’t give a shit either. When i was a kid, i wasn’t bumping Grandmaster flash and furious 5. I was bumping Big daddy kane. Cause that’s what was popping then.
So, yeah, take it easy with the musical platitudes and just accept that you have your taste and other people have theirs.

7)Dressing like an 18 year old
I think the best thing a person in their 30’s can do, fashion wise, is take a little of the youth culture and apply it to their own, older, fashion sense. Like, you think those crazy space kicks look good? buy them and wear them with you not so skinny jeans and a nice jacket. But emulating exactly what’s hot with 21 year olds as a 35 year old is weird and feels like pandering. Kinda like puffy saying “swag!” or a 38 year old who’s “finna get turnt up!”.
Remember how people dressed in movies about the future? Like all shiny, with no buttons. Lots of silver. Or, if the movie is slightly more depressing, people from the future look kinda like fashionable bag ladies. Well, it’s funny cause the future is now. Like, you could take Bushwick , Brooklyn and dump all those people into Blade runner and no one would blink. The future is now!

Well, those were what I had before but I’d like to add a few more for good measure.
More things you shouldn’t do past 30:
1)Stop being so mad about Drake.
Let it go. Yes, I know he offends your fragile purist soul but he makes some good music and isn’t hurting anyone. Trust me, it gets MUCH worse. In ten years we will look back fondly at Drake. Kinda like how I do Mase, when I think about him now. But Drake is much better than Mase so wrap your head around that.

2)Be a prude
if you’re single and past 30, you should be fucking. I don’t mean whoring around putting your genitals all over anyone but, if you’re on a date, you are attracted to that person and you get along well? fuck that person. Literally.
Listen, we’re not in high school anymore. If you’re over 30 and still think girls who have sex on first dates are sluts, grow up. If you’re a girl over 30 and think there should be a definitive time line for when you allow the man to go inside you, grow up. It’s sex. We’re both adults. We both enjoy it (hopefully). beating around the bush is for nervous kids who can’t fuck anyway. You’re down? I’m down. And when it’s over, we can both act like adults and life will go on.

3) going to music festivals…a lot
This will get me some heat but let me explain. There’s nothing wrong with going to music festivals at any age. Do you. you love live music and the outdoors? Go nuts. i’m speaking more of the people who’s life is based around hopping from festival to festival. Like deadheads but ravers…and old. it’s just not our game to play, guys. going to a few select festivals a year is totally reasonable but if you’re packing up your 1985 Volkswagon bug and traveling across the country watching the same dj’s play in some fucking field, while you got bills to pay and maybe some kids? GET YOUR LIFE TOGETHER. That’s the thing, there’s nothing inherently wrong about most of these things but, after a certain age, you must be responsible for yourself and those who rely on you. All that said, if you’re a single person, with no job, no bills and an endless flow of money, I guess you’re the exception to the rule.

4)Posting meltdowns on social media
To be clear, NO ONE should do this but i give some slack to people in their 20’s and younger. At that age, you’re dumb and your emotions are even dumber.
But, yo…if you’re a 36 year old and going off about “Your haters!” on facebook or spilling the beans about how you thought about killing yourself the night earlier…get it together. This is social media. Save that shit for your actual close friends. When you post that, realize that, while your good friends will see it, so will that rando you fucked in mexico and that girl you hated from high school. For no other reason than that, you gotta chill. Write a diary or something. Diaries are great cause they won’t judge you and screencap your meltdown. That’s nice of them.

5)Have relationships constantly blow up
I don’t mean dating. i mean friendships. If you’re over 30 and constantly getting into arguments with friends and burning bridges, one of two things is happening
a)you have shitty taste in people and it’s becoming clear
b)you’re the problem
Either way, real friendship is one of the most important thing people can have. We all have acquaintances and social friends but I’m talking actual close friends. There is no reason that 2 adults in their mid 30’s should be fighting like petulant children and storming out of rooms in a huff. Well, there are many reasons, to be honest, but none of them are actually good. We all make mistakes. Nobody is perfect. In fact, we’re all pretty flawed to the core. But , at some point in life you either gotta cut the fat or just deal with it. fighting with friends over petty bullshit is not something an adult should do with any regularity. That’s some “real housewives” shit and those hoes are emotionally stunted morons with way too much money. If anything, a person over 30’s mantra should be “Don’t be like a real housewife”. That’s actually a perfect guideline to live by.

Whelp…that’s all i got at the moment. I look forward to your rage. just take it easy, your old and your heart isn’t what it used to be.

19 thoughts on “Revisiting rules for people over 30

  1. I found this blog by a google search for Scared Straight 99. Used to smoke weed and watch it on VHS in college. Im glad i did, as I became a big fan of the blog, and also your music. No disrespect, but I hadn’t heard of you before that, even though i had listened to some similar artists. Crazy how the internet can connect people.

    • This was pretty enjoyable to read and its cool to see someone with very similar views that also happens to fashion some seriously delectable beats. You’ve got a good (Block)head on your shoulders mate. I just wish people would realize the majority of this before they hit 30 (or 25, or 20). The only part i disagree with is shagging on the first date. This isn’t necessary to truly have a good time with a new person and often the tension and build up leads to a greater climax when it does happen later on. I might be biased on this point but some of the greatest regrets I’ve had have been from having sex with someone without thinking it through. I agree that there is often a too puritanical view to casual sex, but I also think that holding back can be beneficial in the nascent stages. So like anything else play it by ear (and maybe play with their ear 😉 ).

  2. Insightful, yet truthful. Failing to disagree with anything on this list.

    One thing that still gripes me about certain 30-35yr olds is those who don’t have a grip on their shit. At 22, yeah, you’re new in the big, bad world, still finding your feet, you can make mistakes, you can get a free pass on now being able to do shit. At 35, you should be able to do basic things like cook, pay bills, hold conversations, maintain friendships and not be a complete clusterfuck of a person.

  3. Nice, I love these lists!
    For #5 Taking leisurely sports super seriously:

    When I was young, I was highly highly competitive with the sports I played. When I play for fun now, I’ve dialed it down, because yes, you look like a clueless asshole.

    But another reason is, if you get too competitive and tap into that muscle memory, you might overcommit and then injure your aging body. I’ve learned to make things more mental – anticipate more and commit less – that way it still keeps games interesting but fun.

  4. I live in a city (Seattle) of 25-35 year old men that are (mostly) the same idiot. The city has completely transformed with and other tech firms and the employment of socially retarded but RICH asshole kids that don’t know how to handle themselves in any situation that’s not in front of a computer screen. I’m guessing someone who works at amazon/Microsoft/Expedia/etc is reading this and can forward the blog post to everyone in the company?

  5. I think your spot on here. It’s only right to keep evolving and also keep an open mind. Fuck fuck fuck the flip flop set. I saw a fool on the L last night rocking doc or shorts and Birkenstocks like it was no big. Hell no

  6. I have never read this blog before but I found this pseudo rant interesting. First off I have to applaud you for your connection to societal norms, you truly seem to be in touch with age appropriate behavior for some reason. My question is why? What does it matter? What you are basically saying is that if someone is a certain age and isn’t an outcast or outlier then these actions would make them subject to ridicule because of some magical rule book you created? Maybe I’m missing the point, isn’t this just a form of stereotyping? Please correct me if I’m mistaken because I’m genuinely curious as to what message you are trying to impart. I’m 37 and have lived life pretty fully and I personally don’t feel one way or the other about most of this. I guess you are more comfortable if people fall into the categories you feel they should fall into. I understand that this is a blog where you are just sharing an opinion but since you are welcoming comments I just wanted my opinion of your opinions shared. The great and wonderful thing about genuine people is that they don’t listen to bullshit like this. The world would suck if everyone conformed to some asonine status quo. If a 65 year old man wants to go to burning man, then edc, and whatever massive he can get to then wtf not? I wish I could have that freedom still. Since I don’t why hate on those that do? Why hate on someone with the courage to say what they are really feeling on whatever platform, including social media, they choose to open up on? Makes you uncomfortable gtfo, life continues. The rest of this is blatantly obvious to anyone that understands people are more than the label you put on them. When that ceases to be true, the world is fucked because it’s the individuals, the ones outside of these idealized boxes society deems necessary, that define humanity. Otherwise we are nothing more than a parasite on the planet. I know this is taking your lighthearted rant to places never intended but it’s truly a slippery slope.

    • Yeah, you’re taking my lighthearted rant places never intended. It’s not a slippery slope unless you make it…which you decided to do.
      This is for entertainment purposes only. I don’t ACTUALLY care what any of you do with your life past the age of 30 (or before).
      As long as a person handles their responsibilities, that’s all that really matter. The fact of the matter is, people that do some of the things on this list GENERALLY aren’t handling their responsibilities (taking care of their kids, supporting themselves, etc…).

  7. 26 and abiding by all but the Drake rule. The Drake ad nauseum is overwhelming, But in all fairness I don’t find anyone special enough to be on (literally) every other radio song, how he got to this point is sort of an anomaly, especially when his flows are always so similar to the last.

    • Sigh…not true. i can’t say it enough but I was right there with you, hating him and everything he stands for but his last album? It won me over. He’s dope, versatile and has great taste in beats. Yes, he makes some bullshit songs and is a pop star but he’s got joints.
      But, the point of that rule is not to convince you to love drake, it’s more just to let it go. LET THE DISDAIN GO> People love to shit on him like it’s a fad. He’s a whipping boy for every underground rap fan but he’s more like an underground rapper than those people realize.

  8. What’s your opinion of people around the age of Vince Staples who prefer the 90s hip hop he said he doesn’t care about? I came up on the early 2000’s stuff he did (and still think there’s some very good stuff from that time) but since high school have always gravitated more towards the boom bap stuff from your era.

  9. love it! faves are “write a diary”, your view on let’s just enjoy sex regardless of some gayass timeline, you sharing my view that 20 yr olds are dumb, and aged festivarians. The best is your descriptor of those that wear “copious amounts of scarves”. Always eschewed that outfit cop-out. A good read; thank you!

  10. 6) Blind Music Idealism – I definitely see where you are coming from. People can listen to, and like whatever they want. But I can’t help but be put off by a statement like “I don’t care about 90’s hip hop” especially from a rapper. The arrogance of such a statement! The music wouldn’t be where it is today without the contributions of the people who came before. You don’t have to be into it, but at least respect and acknowledge it for what is was.

  11. I always liked drake, i am gonna be 35 in may. When drake came around i just thought, that’s new and cool, not really hip hop, just some nice pop inspired by it. Whatever label anyone or drake himself wants to put on his music (hip hop, pop, whatever) i think it was fresh and nice at the time. Oh, i am female, that could explain why i was always more receptive to his music too.

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