Answers for Questions vol. 265


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Wow, it’s been a while. I’m back from the road and I forgot what it was like to wake up and write one of these.
Thanks to all those who came out to see me open for Emancipator on the west coast. I had a blast and will be hitting the road again next year. Hopefully, coming to your town.
Anyway, this is “Answers for Questions”. You ask, I answer. If you have anything you wanna ask me (and I do mean anything), fire away. Send questions to phatfriendblog@gmail.com or simply leave the questions in the comment section below. Get weird. Get creative. Don’t be basic. That’s all I ask.
Okay, Let’s get back to business…

Whats the weirdest place you’ve ever had sex (or rubbed one out)? i.e. movie theater, airplane bathroom, Chuck-e-cheese ball pit, etc…

I’ve never been one to really get too weird with my locations. I had sex on a beach but that’s about it for public sex. I guess I’m just a man of comfort. Like, quickly banging away in alley way while homeless people sleep a few feet away is cool and all but I’d rather be indoors, on a soft surface.
As for jerking off, I’ve never even thought of doing that anywhere in public. Probably cause I have self control. It’s cool. It’s stops me from whipping my cock out in public and blowing loads all over the place simply cause I feel the urge. It’s a real game changer.

If you had to choose between a pogo stick or a unicycle as your sole means of transportation which would you choose? (please note that choosing the unicycle does not magically bestow you with the ability to ride one. Unless you already know how, you’re gonna have to learn)

Here’s the thing, I can’t ride a pogo stick either so I’d be starting from scratch either way. For that reason, the obvious choice is unicycle. I’m sure , once I got the hang of it, I’d be whipping around town like some meth head carny. Easy choice.

Tell us things about the new Aesop album. Are you producing any tracks?
It’s really dope. He did all the beats (I did a remix for a song though).
Outside of that, I can’t really tell you anything. You gotta wait and find out.

Would you rather know the date you’ll die but not the year, or the year you’ll die but not the date?
I’d rather not know either of those things. If I had to choose , I guess the date not the year. At least, that way, I could enjoy 364 other days a year. In fact, i could live downright recklessly on those days. I’m sure , on my death date, I’d literally lock myself in a room and live as safely as possible. Like , only eat foods I can’t choke on, move as little as possible…that kind of thing. If I knew the year, I’d spend the whole time just waiting for it to happen and that’s no good. I’m a guy who can’t sleep when I know I have an early flight the next day. Imagine how I’d be if I thought I was gonna die every day? Fuck all that noise.

If you had to give up porn or youtube, what would you choose?

Damn son…really testing me here. That’s a seriously hard question. They both serve such a purpose for me. Now, for the sake of my mental health, I guess I’d give up porn. I have no idea what I’d jerk off to but , I imagine, it would be for the better in the long term. The thing about giving up youtube is that that’s pretty much everything else. Like, what, I’m gonna spend the rest of my life ONLY watching vimeo clips? youtube covers so much ground I don’t think I could function without it.

Do you still ever watch The Walking Dead? Please name any characters that you detest more than “fucking Carl” (from any TV show).

I do still watch it and this season has been one of the better in recent memory.
That said, Carl gonna carl and he will forever and always be the worst. There is no one worse than Carl on the show or on any other show. He’s the absolute worst person on TV. Including donald trump. Yup. Fuck Carl. In fact, I prefer to spell his name KKKarl just drive home what a piece of shit he is.

What kind of fantasy basketball league do you play in?

12 teams, head to head. Simple stuff. I’m the commissioner and it’s pretty much just me and 11 of good friends who spend the entire season complaining, taunting and disliking each other. It’s the best.

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