My favorite songs of the year

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I usually do yearly round up of this blog, covering all the things I’ve written and the different music I’ve both covered and released. Not gonna lie…it all just seems like a huge undertaking that I don’t feel like doing at the moment. Perhaps I’ll get to it next week. Maybe not. Instead, I’m opting to just give you guys a folder of all my favorite songs from this year. A few people specifically asked me to do this and I don’t see why not.
Just a few caveats

1)Some of these may be over a year old but I listened to them a more THIS YEAR than last year so, you know, don’t be a stickler about that shit.
2)You will, very likely be disappointed in some of this list. If I know the people who read this blog, they have very particular taste. Well, we are all different and I’m not you. I purposely placed all the songs that I have a feeling people will hate at the end of the comp.So, when you hear that 50 cent song start? That’s when you know it may be time to sign out for some of you. I’d ideally like you guys to give those songs a chance and listen. Perhaps, try to understand why they are enjoyable but I’m not holding my breath.
3)I purposely left off the music by people I work with or I know well personally cause I felt like it. I hate seeing other peoples top ten lists and it basically looks like their contacts on their phone. I know a lot of great artists and they made a lot of great music this year. The music will keep coming from all of them, I assure you. So, Aesop, Open mike eagle, Marq Spekt, Run the Jewels, Billy Woods etc…You guys killed it this year and I can’t wait to see what ’16 holds for all of you.

It’s been a good year for rap. Versatile. I’ve enjoyed stuff from straight lyrical underground rap, to thugged out coke raps to trap shit that surprised me. I think that’s one thing I can say about the last 4 or 5 years. Every niche within the genre has it’s high and lows. It our job to discern what is and what isn’t good. But I would strongly advise against categorically dismissing certain types of rap music cause it doesn’t fit into the little box of interest you’ve created. Not only are you missing some good music but, trust me, in a few years you will look back and feel kinda dumb about being so stubborn over music. It’s music. It can be many things. If can make you think but it can also make your mind numb in a good way. So, with that said, here’s my top 25 list (in no specific order) , along with a folder of the songs. I have a feeling the download links won’t be up very long so get it while you can…
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Alternate Link
1)Lift me up-Vince staples
2)Untouchable-Pusha T
3)Huey- Earl Sweatshirt
4)Excuse- ASAP Rocky
5)Hold up- Tree
6)Burdoned- Bobby raps and Corbin
7)Day 93- Dr. Yen Lo (AKA Ka)
8)Sunday school dropout- Wiki feat Hak)
9)Top of the Whitney- Shirt
10)48th st- Your old Droog
11)Gas in my lung- Spark Master Tape
12)Auntie Pearls house- Golden rules
13)Jabar- DP
14)Meet the mets- Homeboy Sandman
15)Nah- JunglePussy
16)Shadows- Michael Christmas
17)Suede- NXWorries
18)Wold champion karate champion- Jon Wayne feat. Quelle Chris and Zeroh
19)I’m the man- 50 Cent
20)All about the sauce- Sauce Walka
21)Juggathon- Giftz
22)No tellin’- Drake
23)Rest in peace- Fat trel
24)G double O D- Swag Toof
25) White- Young Greatness

Yay or Nay: Jidenna, The rapper

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if you are even mildly aware of pop music this year, you’re probably familiar with Jidenna’s hit song “Classic man”. Taking the formula of Iggy Azalea’s “Fancy” but making it engaging and not terrible, this joint was everywhere. Hell, I even remixed it for fun. But here’s something I bet you didn’t know (I sure as hell didn’t): Jidenna raps. He’s not the first r&b guy to surprise us with that skill set. Chris brown did it. Even your man young BIEBZ has been heard spitting #barz. Let’s be honest, anyone can rap. It’s not rocket science. But what sets apart the good from the bad is something totally different.
So, I happened upon this Jidenna song/video the other day and was honestly kinda surprised…he can rap. Like…seriously. He’s not bad at all. I’m curious what you guys think. I don’t love the production but it does have a mood to it and it allows Jidenna to go in more than I ever would have thought possible. Check it:

Well, what do you think? (you can pick more than one choice)

Answers for questions vol. 270

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Happy holidays everyone. Hope you got a gift that you liked or whatever.
This is “Answers for questions”. You ask, I answer. Right now, my question queue is running low. So, that means I need you guys to dig into your santa’s bag of gifts and ask me stuff. Go nuts.
Send questions to phatfriendblog@gmail.com or simply leave them in the comment section below. Seriously..tis the season to ask a motherfucker some random shit. I’ve long said that, once my question bag runs empty, it might be time to shut this whole things down. Don’t let that happen (unless you want to, in which case, carry on).
Here’s this weeks stash…

QUICK! I’ve been studying in NYC this past semester and I leave in about two weeks (mid/late-December). I wanted to try and do something in each borough before I left. Any recommendations? I currently have only driven through Queens and haven’t even stepped foot on Staten Island.

Ummm..it’s probably too late and , honestly, I’m a terrible tour guide. I think living here my whole life has made it hard to just give random ideas of what to do in the city. It’s like asking me “What’s your favorite line in a movie ever?”. How can I even begin to figure that out. Also, I don’t do much. I chill. I don’t go out to new clubs or check out art exhibits. I’m low key. On top of that, I don’t know shit about queens, the bronx or staten island. So, yeah…sorry…can’t be much help here. I can say that it’s okay to just skip Staten Island. Not that it has no merit but it’s probably not worth the boat ride unless you got something VERY particular you want to check out there. What that could possibly be? I have no clue. Unless you’re one of those wierdo’s who likes to see where your favorite rappers grew up and end up hanging out near fucked up projects just so you can take an instagram pic of the WU-tang mural.

back in college (early 2000s) i had a NES in my room and used to wreck both my roommates at super tecmo bowl. i was sovereign. then one night my roommate brought one of his homeboys over and that guy whipped the polecat piss out of me in super tecmo bowl. to the point i wanted to throw the controller and accuse him of cheating. it was like he stole a piece of my identity. so the question is: have you ever been “known” for something that’s part of your persona, and then come across someone who’s so much better at that thing that it ruins it for you?

Sure. I’ve had that reality check a few times (I’ve also given it to people as well, which feels great). In my case, it was ping pong. I’m pretty good at ping pong. But on a casual level. Like I’ve always been the best amongst my friends and shit like that. One time, I went to this ping pong “club”. A friend knew a friend and got me in. It wasn’t like olympic dudes but somewhat normal people playing (though there was one guy who apparently played in the olympics and he was playing people using his phone as a paddle. He was kicking everyones ass). I got matched up with some dumpy Puetro rican kid. He seemed harmless enough but, goddamn…I play a very spin heavy game. but this dude was throwing ungodly shit at me, the likes I had never even known possible. he demolished me. Not only that, I watched him get destroyed the next round. That was a rude awakening for me. Like, I never thought I was an elite talent in ping pong but I was confident that I was very good. Then , when you see how deep it really goes…man…it’s depressing.


What is your policy on tipping? Are you generous? A stickler? If you go to deli, do you tip? What about places were they literally just grab something for you, yet still have a tip jar out? What’s your criteria when determining a tip in a restaurant situation?

I tip at least 20% at restaurant. I prefer to pay cash and I’m impatient so if I end up paying more and it means I don’t have to wait for change, so be it. Only time that changes is if the service is truly awful or if the service is next level exceptional then I will react accordingly. But, 20% is the norm.
For other things, I’m a little more picky. I don’t go to coffee shops but I used to work in one. When I worked there, I never expected tips. So, in that sense, I don’t tip people who are just doing their job (and getting paid decently for it). If I’m a regular somewhere, have some familiarity with the workers, I always tip a buck and change in the jar but otherwise? Eh. Not so much.
I don’t tip at deli’s or bodegas cause who does that?
I tip delivery men about 3-4 bucks per delivery. I tip a cab driver 1-3 bucks unless it’s a long ass trip (like to the airport) then I add on a few more dollars.

what are you listening to these days?

Random shit. I have a playlist that I throw new music I like into and it’s pretty much all I listen to. I recently added joints from Wiki’s new album, some Pusha T shit, there’s a new 50 cent song I like, “Days with yen lo” still gets run, Vince staples, shirt.
Honestly, the majority of the stuff I listen to gets mentioned on this blog eventually.

ever considered making a “year end list” of your fav tracks?
I will probably do that in the next few days. Many of you will be confused and disappointed by said list.

The initials of your blog are PF (fact). Which made me think right away of PF Chang’s (the chinese restaurant chain). So here’s my question: if you could be any item on a chinese food menu, what would you be? And would you prefer to be eaten with chopsticks, reg. fork or other?
This is important.

I mean, I feel as though picking a food that’s going to be eaten is pretty arbitrary. Like if I’m lo mein or beef and broccoli, my fate remains the same. It’s not like it’s gonna be better to be chewed to death cause I’m a peking duck or if I’m sauteed bok choy.
But, ignoring that, I would want to be a steamed pork dumpling. Why? Cause they are my favorite. You could eat me with a fork or chop sticks but I’d almost prefer people use their hands. Let my brown grease drip all over your gluttonous fingers as you take me to my final resting place.

What’s one trend thats popular right now that you cant wrap your head around?
Hmm…Rapping into autotune. It makes me feel old cause I know it’s a big thing but…why? it sounds like shit. I get singing into it but rapping? It’s so fucking stupid. I’m not a fan of “extra” in general and that all just seems so extra.
Also, crazy lumberjack beards. It’s not that I don’t get them. I fully get them. As a man, it makes all the sense in the world. But what I don’t get it how much women love them. Like kissing one of those dudes must be like licking a bears asshole. But ,hey, i support them in some sense cause they promote manliness , which is a dying concept.

Not a particularly creative question, I’m just in a fatty eating mood right now!

What are you favorite types of…
-chips
-candy
-chocolate
-ice cream

God, I love junk food.
This question is pertinent to my interests.
Chips: I like to get those fancy off brand chips they have at obnoxious “health food” deli’s but, when it comes down to it, my favorite all time chips are ruffles sour cream and cheddar and tostido’s Lime tortilla chips. Those are what I can always go back to.

Candy: I like gummy candy. Gummy bears are the obvious choice. I don’t buy candy much anymore but, when I do, it’s gummy bears. Sometimes, I’ll branch out and get the gummy coke bottles.

Chocolate: I don’t like dark chocolate. Call me a heathen but fuck you are you bitter bullshit ass chocolate. Milk, ALL DAY. I fucking love a Skor bar. I may be the only man alive who does but, man, I love some chocolate covered toffee. In general, I like anything milk chocolate related. Only time I’m not into it is when it’s got nuts. Otherwise, I’m all over it. ALL OF IT.

Ice cream: I’m kinda boring. While I love me some talenti ice cream (the salted caramel is crazy), in general, I’m basic. I like strawberry or cookies and cream as my go to flavors. Also, green tea ice cream is my shit. There’s a place near my crib that makes earl grey ice cream and that shit is incredible.

I’d also like to add that chocolate chip cookies are my favorite thing on earth. That is all.

Christmas music for the REAL

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Let’s not kid ourselves. Holiday music is abysmal. You know it. I know it. Your friends and family know it. Aside from weird midwestern moms and people who get unusually aroused by tradition, I honestly don’t believe anyone truly enjoys it. At best, it simply reminds us that the holidays are here. The first moment I hear Mariah carey’s “All I want for christmas” wafting out of a storefronts doors in november, I know the season is here. Generally, when something is that bad, it’s at its best when being made fun of or spun in a different direction. So, I compiled a bunch of christmas songs I can fuck with. I left off a few classics (Run Dmc “Christmas in hollis”, grandma got run over by a reindeer (Fuck that song though), The run the jewels christmas song, etc….) and opted for the more obscure. So, here’s a playlist you can sneak on at your family christmas get together. Sit back and watch, as the face of anyone who is paying attention either gets filled with joy or becomes so enraged they kick over the tree and cancel christmas forever. Either way, you’re coming out on top.
So, ho ho ho…Enjoy.

Down load HERE
1)Albert King- Santa Clause wants some lovin’
2)Blowfly- The 12 lays of christmas
3)Clarence carter- Back door santa
4)Dr. Demento- I saw daddy kissing santa clause
5)Eazy-E- Merry muthafuckin’ Xmas
6)Kam- Holiday Madness
7)Ludacris- Ludacrismas
8)James Brown- Santa claus goes straight to the ghetto
9)Snoop dog- twas the night before christmas
10)Steel panther- Sexy santa
11)The Frogs-Here comes santa’s pussy
12)Tiny Tim- Santa has got the AIDS

Have an opinion! Pick your favorite.

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Every now and then, there are periods of time when a ton of good music seems to pop out of nowhere. Months can go by, with me listening to the same shit I had been forever then, all of sudden, a whole new crop of songs and albums for me to dig my teeth into appear. Not gonna front, soundcloud has really upped the ante on this cause it seems like artists I check for release a new song for the hell of it every month or so.
Anyway, I often like to take the temperature of what you guys are fucking with. So here are 7 songs I’ve been fucking with (many of the artists are favorites of mine you should be very familiar with if you follow this blog), in both video and soundcloud form. I’m curious what you like the most. There’s a poll after the songs and I know how much people like voicing their opinions online. Well, now is you chance. Peep them and lemme know.

Wiki-Livin’ with my moms

Shirt-Queens to Hollywood

Mr. Muthafuckin’ eXquire-Gold mouth piranha

Michael Christmas- Look up/save the day

Your old droog-Basketball and seinfeld

Tree-D day

Fresh daily Feat Homeboy sandman- Bodybag

So, what’s your favorite of this batch? You can vote for more than one if you’re the indecisive type

Answers for questions vol. 269

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Whattup everyone. Welcome to another edition of “Answers for questions”. You ask, I respond accordingly. You got anything you wanna ask me? And i do mean anything…fire away. The only questions I’ve ever passed on were personal questions about other people and really boring questions I’ve answered already. Email me questions. Send them to phatfriendblog@gmail.com or leave them in the comment section below. Get creative. Get weird.
Okay, let’s see what we got this week.

Do you feel the need to create music is outside of yourself? Are you visited by a “muse” from time to time, as some artists claim?

Nah. I’m very practical about how I make music. I sit down, get in a headspace to do it and execute. Sounds robotic and it is. If anything, I don’t buy that “muse” shit in general. I mean, I get that some people probably work that way but my guess would be that most people who speak of their work like that are full of shit or trying too hard. That said, I can see certainly how a person or event can inspire music without question but the idea of a “muse” is corny to me. Like “Hey, Cindy! Come stand in the room while I make this beat!”. It should also be noted that what I do is very different than, say, a guy who’s composing a piano concerto. So, in that sense, I could be talking entirely out of my ass.

You don’t strike me as the most sentimental, festive type of person haha, but what is your favorite holiday tradition from when you were a kid?

You are correct in that assumption. I don’t give a fuuuuuuuuuck about any holiday. In general, I’m not a fan of any old time traditions.
That said, I wasn’t always an ice hearted monster. Back in the day, the christmas stocking was my favorite thing ever. Even more than the actual presents I’d get from my family. Even thought those presents were always the “good shit” , the randomness of the stocking was my favorite. Like i would get chocolate, a tear away far side calendar and some random toy I never asked for. But i loved that shit. As i got older, i realized it was a way for my mom to push her health agenda’s on me. Like I’d get a certain kind of face wash or deodorant. Regardless, the surprise of what i would find in there was the best.
Nowadays, all I care about is the food. Obviously , seeing family is nice but it’s not like i never see them. Most of my family lives relatively close to the city (with a few exceptions) so seeing them for a holiday isn’t some major event. Food, son…all about the food.

Oh heyyy, nice to see Phat Friend back. How’d the touring go, do you feel human again yet?
I think I covered what touring on a bus was like last week so I won’t repeat it.
But the tour went well. Saw some real deep hippie spots. Like the type where, if you walk through the crowd, you can tell half of them use those toms of maine rock deodorants that don’t actually work. Aside from that, nice people though.
I was only gone for two weeks but it took me maybe 2 days to feel human again, once home. All i need to do is fall back into my routine. Which isn’t hard.

What are some of your favorite music videos (visually) from the mtv days?
Ohhh…tough question. Gotta think…There is a really a wide variety. some of them are songs I don’t even like but the videos were awesome.

Drop by The Pharcyde

Come to daddy By Aphex twin

Separate ways by Journey

What you see is what you get by Xzibit

Cry by Godly and creme

Hell yeah by Dead Prez

Human Behavior by Bjork

Smack my Bitch up by Prodigy

There are tons I’m forgetting but those all popped into my mind.

It’s been 11 years, what do you think of Ass Like That by Eminem?
I haven’t listened to it once in it entirety ever but i’m gonna assume it’s as bad, if not worse, as it was when it dropped. For a guy with the talent that Em has, he’s got some songs under his belt that rival anyone, in terms of “worst songs ever made”. He’s neck and neck with 1990’s Aerosmith.

I was listening to music by cavelight and I noticed that the beginning of Forrest crunk sound a lot like Drake’s Hotline bling. Is it just me or is the same sample? That’s all, lol. Have a nice day.
It’s just you. Definitely not the same sample. This is the hotline bling sample:

Awesome song. I’ve had it for a while and when i heard drake use it I was actually pretty psyched cause it’s not a sample I would fuck with but it’s really dope.

how many hats do you own? whats your criteria for buying a new one, are there any specific teams you would avoid?
Hmmm…I own about 8 or so but like 4 of those are well out of the rotation.
As for what kinda hats I buy, i’ve moved away from sports teams the last 3 or 4 years now. Nowadays I just look for kinda obscure hats that confuse people. Like, I rock this one I got in St. Petersburg, russia sometimes. I rock a Max Fish hat. that’s this bar I go to and it looks like a yankee hat but it isn’t. Basically, I’m trying to wear hats I don’t see everywhere.
When I did wear team hats, I stuck with only baseball teams and mostly old versions of the hats. Like the Orioles, the Brewers or the Padres. It wasn’t so much about the team as it was the design and colors.

Let’s talk Tinder (Female Edition)

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A While back, I wrote of my experiences on tinder as a newly single man. Here is that article for reference. As a man, I know that what I experience on tinder is nothing compared to what girls go through. Shit, just the other day, a girl I know sent me a screencap of her Instagram dm’s and it was literally a bouquet of dick pics sent to her by strangers. It’s crazy. So, I asked my good buddy (and Rogglecast podcast partner) Pollyne AKA po_lite to give me an idea of what it’s like to be a lady on Tinder. Not only did she do that, but she bought photographic examples. God bless her heart. So, here’s Pollyne , Talking tinder…

LET’S TALK TINDER

I can give you one word to sum up Tinder for a woman, EXHAUSTING. Honestly, even the thought of writing about it is exhausting; must be why i conveniently forgot Tony asked me to give him a female perspective on it back in the summer.
I have deleted Tinder sooooooo many fuckin times; and not in the way that you delete the phone number of an unhealthy hook up but in the way that you eventually cut off the drunk guy at the bar, who comes in every week. I download it out of boredom thinking that maybe it will be interesting and within a few weeks i am so disappointed with it that i delete it to make space on my phone for a kim kardashian game or some other worthless app. Why i keep re-downloading is more about my desire for self harm but that’s a whole other post, perhaps something to ask Dr. Tony. So, if i can reign this in enough and focus on some basic reasons why i swipe left i may yet show you what it’s like for a lady on Tinder.
First off, this app is exhausting for women because our desires are naturally more complex than most men. We see Tinder very differently than men do. Look, I’m not an idiot, I know the intent of an app that shows you 5 pictures of someone with a stoopid tagline about how much they are free-wheelin good time havin, fun honky tonk types or whatever, but there are easy pitfalls for women on Tinder. We find ourselves either looking for someone who is our physical ideal or someone who can attracts us with their dynamic personality, because let’s face it, we are also innately more physically attractive than men. This is problematic for me because if i can shop for a fuck, or for love, I’m gonna go for the good stuff.
It might happen that i could meet a few of these tinder prospects out at a bar and be more forgiving for a night or two but if im in the comfort of my own home with my sweatpants on and my fantasies intact, sober and alert, I’m not going to go for fat Brad Pitt or a bald dude in a Capt America shirt two sizes too small for his santacon bod.
But Hey, even me, on my super judgmental throne, at home, will eventually get bored of being picky and say ‘what the hell’ to a shit load of people. Honestly, depending on the mood i’m in, i could right swipe a skinny, lonely, milk-toast ,teacher, pedophile-lookin muthafucka.
So here are some pics of people i’ve denied virtually and a few I’ve humiliated via Instagram. God bless their souls.

1. Unattractive Pic
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This is obviously the most common reason to reject someone. Tony touched on this and i dont understand why it happens so often but most people put up unflattering pictures of themselves. The nuance for women is that so many things can be deemed unattractive. Like a guy who posts only pics with girls in them to convince you that women will be seen with him, clearly wasted dudes, to a guy posing on a bed like he’s crouchin on a surfbort.

2. Overtly Athletic or Muscular Guys
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The idea that a dude would make me engage in some extreme sport (any sport) on a date makes me get the heebie jeebies, and if a guy looks like he can bench press me, that sends the signal to my brain that he could also easily rape me or roll over onto me in his sleep and suffocate me to death. i’m not goin out like that.

3. Manicured Show Stoppers
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Any guy that looks like he might stop traffic or has been on the Sex & the City tour is not going to get a positive reaction from me. I dont like the idea that a dude i’m hooking up with might spend more time putting his ensemble together than me or know more variations of the color orange than me.

4. Serial Killer Types
shirtless
You would be surprised at how many guys don’t even care to hide the fact that they would murder you if you went out with them.

5.Cut & Paste Messages
how was you wednesday
I’ve received multiple messages that look like they were copied off of dating one-liner books with the name of the woman he sent it to before me still in there. i have also received multiple messages with insane grammatical errors and spelling mistakes. It may seem harsh to judge someone on these things but when someone is this inattentive to reeling you in imagine how lazy the will be when goin down on you.

6. Guy Who Obviously Is in a Relationship
shirtless messy bed
Of course it’s possible to hide this but there are dudes on Tinder who are so obviously on a work trip in a hotel away from some sad woman who settled for him in high school/college/or the next cubicle over.

7. Guys Lying About Their Age
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This happens tooooo much on here and is soooo absurd. I dont understand people who lie about their age but it’s not jsut for women anymore. hahaha. everyone is vain self hating and pathetic these days.

8. Soulful Musicians
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When TV has exhausted a stereotype then it’s gonna look pretty silly in real life when you try to pose with your guitar lookin like some Jason Mraz type bitch. May as well just put up a pic of you bartending, it’s way more attractive.

9. Guys Trying to Impress
operation
Ummm Yeah you in that classy suit, you work in a suit shop, surgeon in the middle of operating…hmm isn’t that a lawsuit waiting to happen? Fireman leaving the scene of a fire with clear PTSD…yikes

10. Sleezebuckets
redneck
Obviously guys who look like they could be on the SNL skit with Steve Martin and Dan Aykroyd who play two wild n crazy guys (look it up ignoramus) or a night at the roxbury or a mullet head redneck or skrillex lovers or pomade addicts are never going to put a woman at ease.
(pic of dude in plaid blazer and redneck mullet dude)

Putting a woman at ease; really that’s the whole trick to getting into a woman’s pants. make her feel attractive listen to what she says, make her feel comfortable, be slightly witty and if you can’t do that be really clean and you will get laid.
It’s not that difficult, and most women are not set on dying alone like me. Good luck fellas; Hang in there ladies!

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