Answers for Questions vol. 276


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If you’re anything like me, you ate too much last night and are paying dearly for it today. I don’t even care about football but , man, hot wings…you pay the price.
Anyway, this is answers for questions. You guys ask me stuff and I answer. Simple stuff. If you have an interesting or funny question you would like me to take a shot at, fire off. Send me questions to phatfriendblog@gmail.com or leave them in the comment section below. Be creative. That’s all i ask
This weeks batch is a good example of the variety that’s possible when people actually think beyond “What sampler do you use?”. Let’s see what we got.

As you get close to your 40s, are girls in their early 20s just not as hot any more? I find that some of the moms who are in their early 40s are super sexy and I just think of the young ladies as a pain in the ass more than anything. Do you still want to get with hot young ladies, or are you more drawn to women now who are about your age or older?
It’s hard to say. While I definitely can look at a 21 year old and be like “she’s super hot” the reality of them and actually having to talk to them is something very different. There is just such a huge disconnect between their generation and mine. In my limited experience with talking to girls in their early 20’s, they tend to be more self involved (which makes sense, they’re still growing up) and the things they’re concerned with are things I haven’t thought or cared about in 15 plus years. Like, how can I, as a 39 year old college drop out, really talk to someone about what college courses they’re taking with any interest whatsoever? And what would I have to say that would interest them? I’m old and boring.
There’s also that thing where , in a picture, I might drool over them but ,once I see them in person , how young they really are jumps out at me. That can mess with my head for sure.
At the same time, I’m not looking at older women and being like “yesssss”. There are certainly tons of girls older than me that are Beautiful and I wouldn’t hesitate to talk to but it’s not like the lust for young girls just leaves and all of a sudden transfers to older women. That makes no sense.
To be honest, I’ve found my self most attracted to girls in their late 20’s to mid 30’s. That’s more my range of interest.
There used to be some old saying that men should date a women half their age plus seven. Well, a 26 year old is still a little young to me and the person who came up with that equation probably owned slaves so, yeah…I dunno if I’m buying that one.

Have you ever taken a review of your music really badly?
Eh…not really. I mean, sure, reading about you sucking is never fun but the thing about reviews is that you have to take with the good with the bad. They’re both equally unimportant cause, in the end, that’s just one persons opinion. Who is that person? Some dude/girl who listened to an album I made once and wrote about it. Why do i give a shit what they think?
The only time it’s a bummer is when it’s a big publication with some pull. Like, when Pitchfork has reviewed my albums, they generally haven’t liked them much (I think Music by Cavelight got a 6/10 or something) and that can hurt me in different ways cause websites like that are tastemakers.
Also, when I read a review that is negative and they are coming at me with some weird made up angle about why my music sounds the way it does and what it’s influenced by , even though, I’ve never even heard these things/people I’m supposedly influenced by, that can be frustrating.
Basically…art critics on any level are 98% full of shit so taking them to heart is a waste of time. What my peers think is far more important to me.

Who is your favorite porn star of the 90s? Like the one who was on a vhs tape whose name you remember.
I had a special affinity for Heather Hunter. She wasn’t the prettiest but she was sexy and lived in my neighborhood and I’d see her around all the time. She also had an amazing public access show called “Wild style” that I loved where she would interview rappers and make them uncomfortable by coming on to them. I wish clips of that still existed.
I think those two things made her seem like an attainable goal and that , to me, was huge.

For the rest of your life would you rather:

a) have to speak in a fake british accent and end every single sentence you say/write with the word “nigga.” example: “hi can i take your order?” “yes i fancy a slice of pepperoni, nigga.” if you fail to do either of these things your dick catches on fire.

b) be R.A. the Rugged Man’s roommate and share a bunk bed with him (you get to choose the top or bottom). You would also have a 2-seater toilet and only be able to poop when he poops, sharing the same bathroom.

c) give a homeless guy a blowjob once a year.

I guess I have to go with B on this one. It’s the only option where I’m not risking physical or mental harm on myself on a daily basis. With option A, i’d be opening myself up for constant fights and misunderstandings. With options C, I’d be sucking a homeless guys dick , so…yeah…that’s off the table.
With C, it’s just a shitty living situation but it’s not jail and I can go out so I’d just take advantage of that and be out as much as possible. Also, after a while, I’d get used to the dual shitting things, as awful as it sounds.

Are rich people more pretty or do pretty people become rich? Which comes first? Chicken on the egg kinda question.
I think the wealth comes first, followed by the upward breeding.
Historically, men have been the ones with the money, whether it be through it being handed down to them via their families or them actually earning it. These men, however, are often troll faced hunchbacks. But, with money comes options. So, they flash the money and power they have been given/acquired to attract females of a higher caliber. Fortunately for them, many women love the idea of power and wealth so they come to a mutual agreement. It should also be noted that , in general, women are far less shallow then men so they are better at “finding the good” within something that might not be so pleasing to the eye. So, the ugly rich man mates with the beautiful woman and , ta-dah, the upward breeding has begun. A few generations of that and the men start looking better as well. Case in point, Donald Trump has a beautiful daughter , yet he looks like an inside out orange sock that a 13 year old has been cumming in for months. Breeding, yo.

have you ever had to deal with any serious cognitive dissonance, such as with shitty or exciting aspects of the world? And if so.. how’s that shit going?
You know…not really. I’ve always been pretty centered and my thoughts don’t waiver much about things that really matter. I mean, i also don’t take hard stances on things I’m not truly informed on…and that’s A LOT of things.
The closest i can say I’ve been to that is realizing that the last Drake album is really fucking good and questioning if I was wrong about him this whole time. Well, the album is GREAT but , upon looking back, I wasn’t wrong. That’s just a really good album and his old music is mostly mediocre.

I am an up and coming producer — Nah just kidding man, anyways, you’re stuck on a desert island forever (assume food/water is taken care of) and you get to bring one album, one movie and a book. What’ll you choose?
The bible on tape, the passion of the christ and the bible. OBVIOUSLY.
Kidding.
These kinda questions are always such a shit show cause I don’t have clear favorites in any of these categories.
One album? Fuck. Probably the longest album I could find. Maybe some awesome mixtape with like 45 songs on it. Cause, really, it doesn’t matter what album it is…I’m gonna be sick of it or just stop listening to it. So, in effect, music would become irrelevant on this island.
Same goes for the book and the movie. Having one of anything for the rest of your life isn’t gonna last. I mean, I’ve watched the movie “zodiac” probably 45 times and I could watch it 45 more times but…eventually…I’d turn it off forever. And books? Shiiiit…I don’t read much. Maybe the most updated encyclopedia? Cause i could at least use that whenever i had questions that needed answering on the island. How’s that for a practical and “not what you were looking for” answer?

11 thoughts on “Answers for Questions vol. 276

  1. What about Zodiac do you like so much? I mean it’s a good movie and I’ve seen it a handful of times myself (big David Fincher fan). But 45 times!??! That’s like a 3 hour long movie too. You’ve dedicated 135 hrs or 5 and a half days of your life watching that movie??

    • I haven’t seen it all the way through 45 times (and that number is a total estimate) but , when it’s on cable, I’ll watch it from where ever it’s playing. I fucking love it. It’s really a perfect movie in my eyes. It’s a case study of the fascinating topic, with no bells and whistles of a dumb love story or comic relief. It’s just methodically follows this case and somehow manages to be engaging, amazingly directed and well acted. Like, i legit can’t find a single thing about I don’t like.

  2. What are your thoughts on homeschooling? Have you ever had any weird of uncomfortable interactions with people that were homeschooled?

  3. Very nice round!
    It appears to me Yoy had a small switch up in your answer to the “fake accent vs. R. A. roommate vs. homeless fellatio question” (great question by the way):
    ‘With C, it’s just a shitty living situation but it’s not jail and I can go out so I’d just take advantage of that and be out as much as possible. Also, after a while, I’d get used to the dual shitting things, as awful as it sounds.’ It’s B you’re referring to, isn’t it?

  4. Say one night you met a girl at the bar that you really hit it off with, and you go back to her place. When you wake up your in a small wooden shack outside the city and surrounded by cultists in robes. What do you say do to get them to kick you out of the cult so you can go home? Right now they wont let you go because they think your Jesus, and the girl you met is no where to be found.

  5. In terms of ideas for this blog, whatever happened to those “Things that are wrong with the world” ones? Is it too petty to keep doing those types of posts, or is it just that there is too much wrong with the world haha… Anyways, I would def read that.

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