Answers for Questions vol. 276

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If you’re anything like me, you ate too much last night and are paying dearly for it today. I don’t even care about football but , man, hot wings…you pay the price.
Anyway, this is answers for questions. You guys ask me stuff and I answer. Simple stuff. If you have an interesting or funny question you would like me to take a shot at, fire off. Send me questions to phatfriendblog@gmail.com or leave them in the comment section below. Be creative. That’s all i ask
This weeks batch is a good example of the variety that’s possible when people actually think beyond “What sampler do you use?”. Let’s see what we got.

As you get close to your 40s, are girls in their early 20s just not as hot any more? I find that some of the moms who are in their early 40s are super sexy and I just think of the young ladies as a pain in the ass more than anything. Do you still want to get with hot young ladies, or are you more drawn to women now who are about your age or older?
It’s hard to say. While I definitely can look at a 21 year old and be like “she’s super hot” the reality of them and actually having to talk to them is something very different. There is just such a huge disconnect between their generation and mine. In my limited experience with talking to girls in their early 20’s, they tend to be more self involved (which makes sense, they’re still growing up) and the things they’re concerned with are things I haven’t thought or cared about in 15 plus years. Like, how can I, as a 39 year old college drop out, really talk to someone about what college courses they’re taking with any interest whatsoever? And what would I have to say that would interest them? I’m old and boring.
There’s also that thing where , in a picture, I might drool over them but ,once I see them in person , how young they really are jumps out at me. That can mess with my head for sure.
At the same time, I’m not looking at older women and being like “yesssss”. There are certainly tons of girls older than me that are Beautiful and I wouldn’t hesitate to talk to but it’s not like the lust for young girls just leaves and all of a sudden transfers to older women. That makes no sense.
To be honest, I’ve found my self most attracted to girls in their late 20’s to mid 30’s. That’s more my range of interest.
There used to be some old saying that men should date a women half their age plus seven. Well, a 26 year old is still a little young to me and the person who came up with that equation probably owned slaves so, yeah…I dunno if I’m buying that one.

Have you ever taken a review of your music really badly?
Eh…not really. I mean, sure, reading about you sucking is never fun but the thing about reviews is that you have to take with the good with the bad. They’re both equally unimportant cause, in the end, that’s just one persons opinion. Who is that person? Some dude/girl who listened to an album I made once and wrote about it. Why do i give a shit what they think?
The only time it’s a bummer is when it’s a big publication with some pull. Like, when Pitchfork has reviewed my albums, they generally haven’t liked them much (I think Music by Cavelight got a 6/10 or something) and that can hurt me in different ways cause websites like that are tastemakers.
Also, when I read a review that is negative and they are coming at me with some weird made up angle about why my music sounds the way it does and what it’s influenced by , even though, I’ve never even heard these things/people I’m supposedly influenced by, that can be frustrating.
Basically…art critics on any level are 98% full of shit so taking them to heart is a waste of time. What my peers think is far more important to me.

Who is your favorite porn star of the 90s? Like the one who was on a vhs tape whose name you remember.
I had a special affinity for Heather Hunter. She wasn’t the prettiest but she was sexy and lived in my neighborhood and I’d see her around all the time. She also had an amazing public access show called “Wild style” that I loved where she would interview rappers and make them uncomfortable by coming on to them. I wish clips of that still existed.
I think those two things made her seem like an attainable goal and that , to me, was huge.

For the rest of your life would you rather:

a) have to speak in a fake british accent and end every single sentence you say/write with the word “nigga.” example: “hi can i take your order?” “yes i fancy a slice of pepperoni, nigga.” if you fail to do either of these things your dick catches on fire.

b) be R.A. the Rugged Man’s roommate and share a bunk bed with him (you get to choose the top or bottom). You would also have a 2-seater toilet and only be able to poop when he poops, sharing the same bathroom.

c) give a homeless guy a blowjob once a year.

I guess I have to go with B on this one. It’s the only option where I’m not risking physical or mental harm on myself on a daily basis. With option A, i’d be opening myself up for constant fights and misunderstandings. With options C, I’d be sucking a homeless guys dick , so…yeah…that’s off the table.
With C, it’s just a shitty living situation but it’s not jail and I can go out so I’d just take advantage of that and be out as much as possible. Also, after a while, I’d get used to the dual shitting things, as awful as it sounds.

Are rich people more pretty or do pretty people become rich? Which comes first? Chicken on the egg kinda question.
I think the wealth comes first, followed by the upward breeding.
Historically, men have been the ones with the money, whether it be through it being handed down to them via their families or them actually earning it. These men, however, are often troll faced hunchbacks. But, with money comes options. So, they flash the money and power they have been given/acquired to attract females of a higher caliber. Fortunately for them, many women love the idea of power and wealth so they come to a mutual agreement. It should also be noted that , in general, women are far less shallow then men so they are better at “finding the good” within something that might not be so pleasing to the eye. So, the ugly rich man mates with the beautiful woman and , ta-dah, the upward breeding has begun. A few generations of that and the men start looking better as well. Case in point, Donald Trump has a beautiful daughter , yet he looks like an inside out orange sock that a 13 year old has been cumming in for months. Breeding, yo.

have you ever had to deal with any serious cognitive dissonance, such as with shitty or exciting aspects of the world? And if so.. how’s that shit going?
You know…not really. I’ve always been pretty centered and my thoughts don’t waiver much about things that really matter. I mean, i also don’t take hard stances on things I’m not truly informed on…and that’s A LOT of things.
The closest i can say I’ve been to that is realizing that the last Drake album is really fucking good and questioning if I was wrong about him this whole time. Well, the album is GREAT but , upon looking back, I wasn’t wrong. That’s just a really good album and his old music is mostly mediocre.

I am an up and coming producer — Nah just kidding man, anyways, you’re stuck on a desert island forever (assume food/water is taken care of) and you get to bring one album, one movie and a book. What’ll you choose?
The bible on tape, the passion of the christ and the bible. OBVIOUSLY.
Kidding.
These kinda questions are always such a shit show cause I don’t have clear favorites in any of these categories.
One album? Fuck. Probably the longest album I could find. Maybe some awesome mixtape with like 45 songs on it. Cause, really, it doesn’t matter what album it is…I’m gonna be sick of it or just stop listening to it. So, in effect, music would become irrelevant on this island.
Same goes for the book and the movie. Having one of anything for the rest of your life isn’t gonna last. I mean, I’ve watched the movie “zodiac” probably 45 times and I could watch it 45 more times but…eventually…I’d turn it off forever. And books? Shiiiit…I don’t read much. Maybe the most updated encyclopedia? Cause i could at least use that whenever i had questions that needed answering on the island. How’s that for a practical and “not what you were looking for” answer?

Tour news and an Exclusive NEW song!

Hey-guyz
First off, I made a new song for the hell of it. It’s called “Carousel” and features the vocals of Pierre Michel. Just some background, Pierre was an original member of the group I’m in, The Mighty Jones. He passed away a while back and we never got to really record any of our music. I recently happened upon a song he made called “The mighty jones” and thought it would be cool to try and a new song around it. This is that. It’s slow, sad , dreamy and available to download. Check it out…

In other news…
I’mma be hitting the road very soon. Europe and US. I’ll be touring with Elliot Lipp in the US and there are more dates to come. Check the flyers, guys…and come see me if you’re in the area!
Here are the Us dates (thus far)
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And here’s Europe/Russia/Tel aviv dates
Blockhead tour flyer

I’m also gonna be playing at Fractal Beach in Miami 3/11/16
I’m rarely down in that area so please come see me if you’re down there.

Song of the day

Haven’t done this in a while and , honestly, I don’t have time to write shit today soooo….Here’s a song I’ve been bumping a lot lately. It’s actually from the summer but I’m late to the game as usual and heard it last week. Tree and twista on the same track? Yeah son…Just a warning, I have a feeling most of you will not like this. But, hey, such is life.

Answers for Questions Vol. 275

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Hi there. Welcome to another “Answers for Questions”!
You guys ask me random shit and I oblige. I’d like to thank all the people who have ben submitting questions lately. It’s much appreciated and , basically, keeps this blog going. That said, don’t stop! I always need new content so fire away. Send me questions to phatfriendblog@gmail.com or leave them in the comment section below. Be weird. Be original. That’s all I ask.
Anyway, here’s this weeks batch…

how does one attend NYU graduate school (happening v soon) and not be despised by all?

Do you mean by New yorkers or just in general?
If you mean the former, then don’t worry about it. There are so few natives left, hating on college kids isn’t as much of a thing as it once was. But, just to be safe, simply know your roll. You are a guest, act accordingly. Enjoy all the city has to offer. It’s at your disposal. Just never think you “run this town” on any level and you should be good to go.
If you mean the latter, I don’t think anyone cares about you and your education. Go to school, get your degree. No one will even notice.

what’s your holiday experience generally like?
I’m assuming this is about Christmas.
Well, it’s pretty simple. I just go to my moms house. A random group of family members show up (it varies every year, I have a huge family from all over) and we eat. I stuff my fat face, chat with family members and go home to lay around like a manatee cause, in all reality, I am nursing a brutal hangover from the night before that I had to pretend wasn’t there during the family meal.

James Murphy has a craft bar, Maynard James Keenan has wine, St. Vincent has coffee, etc. If you had the chance to create a non-musical product, what would it be?

I see a clear path for me to corner the market on male hip hop producer based feminine hygiene products. “Block in the box” tampons and douches will take the nation by storm. Just you wait…
But , seriously, I have no idea. I can’t ever see myself latching on to something like beer or coffee (two things I don’t enjoy). I’m not exactly passionate about things like that in general. It would be cool, one day, to be involved with owning a bar or restaurant. Down the line, investing in something like that may definitely be in the cards for me. Free drinks and food, bro.

I’ve been thinking about buying a sampler and a drum kit but it’s so damn expensive. I love instrumental hip hop beats and I especially love finding them on vinyl. I was considering giving it a shot, but do you have any advise on what type of gear to get or a cheap way to get into making this type of music?

Honestly, it’s less about what you get nowadays than it is how well you learn to use it. I know people who make great beats on Fruity loops and others who make complete bullshit with a room full of equipment. I know it’s not a popular opinion but, it’s 2016, just buy some software. Hardware is great but so expensive and really more aimed toward people who do this kinda shit for a living. If you’re a novice, get some software (logic, abelton, etc…) and see where that takes you. Eventually, when you get better and wanna expand, then worry about the other stuff.

It seems like the only leftovers that I don’t mind eating the next day is pizza. I know you enjoy a good slice so let’s say you wake up with a few slices in the fridge from the night before, what’s your preferred reheating technique? Microwave, oven, toaster oven, micro bake, cold, etc…
I’m a lazy piece of shit. I would rather eat something the moment I want it and have it taste slightly less great than wait for it to cook. So, with day old pizza I’m either eating it cold or microwaving it. I did recently get a fancy new toaster though so maybe I might turn over a new leaf in the near future. But, in general, I’m an instant gratification kinda guy.

Do you have stories behind you songs? NYC bounce is the one I think of most. In my story it is a guy chasing the dream in NYC. He is bright and excited for his big break. But as the song goes on he discovers the realities of making it it not only the big city, but also in entertainment. As the city chews him up and spits him out, the song ends with the city calling out to it’s next victim. Did I really over think that? I can see the animation for a video for that song.

You did over think that but I can’t blame you. I don’t create songs with specific visuals in mind but I definitely try and make songs go from point A to Point Z, as opposed to going A-B-A-B.
The thing is, it’s music without vocals so it really is up to the listener to decide what they envision. I mean, sometimes i’ll just get a vibe for a song and name it something totally random that relates to that vibe. For instance, “Which one of you jerks stole my Arnold Palmer?” came about like so: The song was done. It had a very summery feel. The first half is somewhat more aggressive but when the second part comes in, it just felt like summer to me. I envisioned people sitting on a porch drinking cool beverages. Like, somewhere down south. That made my mind jump to drinking an arnold palmer (a drink I love and was drinking tons of during the making of that album). Somehow, that thought transformed into the idea of wanting an Arnold palmer (perhaps i had one in the fridge) and then looking for it, only to find it wasn’t there. WHo took it? I will never know. So, it’s kinda sad but summery. And that’s why that song has that name. There’s no actual story and, musically, the song actually works backwards in the sense that the more aggressive part comes first , followed by a mellow second act. But, yeah, maybe that gives you some insight to the dumb reasons I name some songs random shit.

With all of your blogging has the idea of starting a YouTube channel ever occurred to you? Please explain why you haven’t done this yet. It would be a good idea. I hope other people comment and agree with me and also urge you to do it.

That’s simple. Cause I don’t film myself doing stuff. I Don’t think i’d want to either. I much prefer the simplicity of writing stuff down as opposed to a whole production, involving having to remember to say things and uploading video clips. Also, I pretty much say everything I need to say on here and twitter. I’m good. You guys don’t need MORE of me. Trust me on that.