“I sucked my own dick” Vol. 2

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About a month ago, somehow the topic of men performing oral sex on ones self came up. It’s always been something that I assumed no one really did but, like so many other things, it turns out I was terribly mistaken. Apparently, dudes do it all the time. Granted, most of them are feverishly horny teenagers (I’d imagine a casting call for “I fucked a pumpkin” would yield similar results) but still…more than I expected. To me, it’s never been something I’ve even considered. Beyond the idea of having any dick in my mouth (including my own), the flexibility or comfort of the act just seems too difficult. So, i put out the question on social media. “Have you sucked your own dick? Tell me about it…”. Within 3 hours I had like 4 or 5 responses. The first three I posted about HERE. I wasn’t even planning on doing two volumes of this but, fuck it, I had three left over and it’s not like this who concept is any less compelling than it was a month ago. So, dig in and enjoy my interviews with 3 guys who put their own penis’s in their mouth and sucked.

Interviewee #1
Are you straight/gay/bi or other?

I am straight. I did make out with the one openly gay kid in my rural high school once in an effort to make sure I wasn’t blocking something I might enjoy out of my life because of social norms, but as it turns out I just really dig females.

Had you sucked another persons dick prior to sucking your own?

I had never sucked another person’s dick prior to sucking my own, nor, in fact, had I had my own dick sucked. I received my first blow job from myself.

Was the stretching part of move difficult and did it inhibit your movement?

The stretching was incredibly difficult. I was about 15 at and was on the wrestling team at the time, so I was the most flexible I’ve ever been in my life, but it was still a monumental task. I’ve always been a pretty skinny guy, and my dick has been about 7” erect since puberty, but it was still so hard to get that fucker in my mouth that I almost gave up several times. I eventually succeeded by lying on my back, stacking several pillows under my head, then throwing my legs up over my head such that my knees touched the ground on the other side of it. While this did achieve the primary goal of getting my dick in my mouth, it set the stage for a terrible blow job given that I couldn’t really move my head or hips and could only even get my hand on my dick with great effort.

if you’re a straight man, do you think you intuitively knew how to suck a dick just based on what you’d seen and knowing what you like?

I am now 30 years old, so when I was 15 internet porn was practically nonexistent (or at least not feasible to view via dial-up), and I had never had my dick sucked before, so my entire concept of what a blowjob was supposed to be came from the three or four Ron-Jeremy-as-a-fit-young-man-era Betamax pornos I had snuck from my Dad’s stash. I had no fucking idea what I was doing.

Did you do it more than once? If so, how many times

I did it only once, because it turned out to be sincerely unpleasant and exponentially more difficult than the well practiced and reliable act of jerking off.

How would you describe your dicks taste? and did that taste linger in your mouth well after the deed was finished?

It tasted like mildly dirty salt – like someone wore a pair of socks for, like, 30 minutes, dipped their feet in the dead sea, then wrung the sock out and poured that liquid on a fat man’s finger then stuck it in my mouth. The texture was the weirdest part – I could only really get the first three inches or so in my mouth so there was this extremely taught skin towards the back of my mouth then the foreskin was right around the tip of my tongue and lips, so the contrast between the two was pretty strange.

Did you cum? If so, where? In your own mouth, in your face or elsewhere (please specify where)

To this day I’m not really sure how I managed to cum in this terribly uncomfortable and unsexy position with no visual aids, but I did. I came in my own mouth. Eventually, when I realized that my head had no range of motion, I slid my right hand up into this human pretzel I had created and was able to get a few fingers wrapped around the exposed shaft. I only had about 1/2” range of motion in my hips and another 1/2” range of motion in my wrist, so I kind of fucked my own mouth through my hand in shallow thrusts until I came.

I didn’t particularly even want to come in my own mouth, but there was no other option as I didn’t have the range of motion to pull out or really move at all. That taste was horrible, and I have always sincerely thanked women after blowjobs because I remember the terrible consistency and feeling of that moment and understand what a sacrifice they’re really making.

Are you good at sucking dick?

Perhaps I would be if given a sexual preference for men and a dick to suck that was not my own, but based on the evidence at hand: absolutely not.

Do you consider sucking your own dick a homosexual act? please elaborate why, either way.

Not at all. If giving myself a handjob multiple times a day for my entire post-pubescent life isn’t a homosexual act, then putting in the (ultimately misguided) effort to step my self-pleasuring game up by sucking my own dick certainly isn’t. We all want to fiddle with our own dicks, and how we decide to do that has no bearing on what we fantasize about while we do it.

Did you feel any guilt about doing it afterwards?

I felt no guilt, and no regret either, just general unpleasantness as I realized I had a mouthful of my own cum and was in a position that it would turn out to take almost 20 seconds to maneuver my way out of. I think we (men) all know how sometimes you get all wound up about something sexual, then in that moment after orgasm you’re like “wait, what the fuck did I just do and why did I want it so badly?” It was that.

Do you feel as though you give better head to yourself than any other person (male or female)?

I have only gotten worse head once or twice in my life, and each time it was due to a painful accident of some sort; hit a pothole during roadhead type shit. On the whole, my first blowjob, the one I gave myself, was the worst head of my life.

Have you told others about this?

I have told many, many people about this. Probably not in as much detail, but that’s only because they weren’t asking the right questions I guess. In fact, the only reason I was aware of your interview request is that a friend sent me a screenshot of your twitter post asking for volunteers with the words “DO IT” underneath.

I’d be surprised if anyone who knows me well read this interview and didn’t know exactly who you’d been talking to.

Would you recommend this to your friends?

I would absolutely recommend getting interviewed by Blockhead about blowing yourself to any of my dick-bearing friends. However, I cannot in good faith recommend blowing yourself in the first place.

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Interviewee #2
Are you straight/gay/bi or other?
Straight.

Had you sucked another persons dick prior to sucking your own?
Nope l, was about 12 when I was able to do it.


Was the stretching part of move difficult and did it inhibit your movement?
It took about two weeks to get close enough to just barely touch it, and a month to actually get past the head.
It fucked my back up so bad I had to go to the chiropractor for weeks afterward.


if you’re a straight man, do you think you intuitively knew how to suck a dick just based on what you’d seen and knowing what you like?
Na, it was terrible. I felt more like I had a dick in my mouth than my dick getting  sucked. Whackness.

Did you do it more than once? If so, how many times
A few times. Didn’t really thrill me so I gave up.

How would you describe your dicks taste? and did that taste linger in your mouth well after the deed was finished?
Like a salty finger.

Did you cum? If so, where? In your own mouth, in your face or elsewhere (please specify where)
No, it was painful and awkward just to do it.

Are you good at sucking dick? 
Horrible.

Do you consider sucking your own dick a homosexual act? please elaborate why, either way.
It’s like masturbating with your mouth and also your neck feels like it’s gonna snap.

Did you feel any guilt about doing it afterwards? 
I don’t know the meaning of the word.

Do you feel as though you give better head to yourself than any other person (male or female)?
I perform way better in the prone position.

Have you told others about this?
Only close friends and strangers when I’m drunk.


Would you recommend this to your friends.
Absolutely not.


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Interviewee #3
Are you straight/gay/bi or other?

Straight

Had you sucked another persons dick prior to sucking your own?

No

Was the stretching part of move difficult and did it inhibit your movement?

Yes, absolutely. I laid on my back, on my bed, and curled my pelvis towards my head, with my head resting against some pillows. Essentially, the weight of my body was resting on my neck and shoulders. I was able to get the head of the penis and about 1/3rd of the shaft into my mouth; not much room to move my head or neck, and definitely no deep throating. I basically had to put in some serious work with my tongue and lips in order to get the nutt.

if you’re a straight man, do you think you intuitively knew how to suck a dick just based on what you’d seen and knowing what you like?

Yeah, it’s pretty intuitive. Since it was my own penis I was sucking, I could immediately tell what felt good and what didn’t, so I kept going with what felt good.

Did you do it more than once? If so, how many times

Only twice. After the second time, I had gotten over it. It loses its mystique. The position you have to be in is pretty uncomfortable; it’s way easier/more efficient to just jerk off. Sure, it was kinda fun and crazy to have my own dick in my mouth, but it didn’t feel THAT good. I’d way rather have someone else suck my dick or just give myself a handjob.

How would you describe your dicks taste? and did that taste linger in your mouth well after the deed was finished?

It tasted kinda sweaty. I don’t remember the taste lingering. I’m pretty sure I briefly washed it before the sucking commenced. But yeah it tastes pretty much like having any other body part in your mouth. Lots of skin.

Did you cum? If so, where? In your own mouth, in your face or elsewhere (please specify where)

The first time I came on my chin. The second time, I ALMOST came in my mouth, but I chickened out at the last minute and came on my chin. I immediately regretted this decision, because I thought the story would be way more entertaining if I nutted in my own mouth, and I was also genuinely curious as to what it feels like to have nutt in your mouth. So at that point I figured I had already gone as far as to suck my own dick, what’s the harm in tasting some cum? So I picked the cum up off my chin with my hand and put it in my mouth. It was very bland, not much flavor at all. When I told my friends the story, I modified it and said I nutted in my mouth. That was a lie. It made for a better story though.

Are you good at sucking dick?

Not really

Do you consider sucking your own dick a homosexual act? please elaborate why, either way.

No. Think about it: if you’re a man, masturbating is basically like giving yourself (a dude) a handjob. Does that make masturbation a homosexual act?

Did you feel any guilt about doing it afterwards?

No. Right before I did it though, there was a brief moment where I thought “is this gay? should I feel weird about this? does this make me gay?” But I quickly *came* to the conclusion that it’s my own body, so I can do whatever the fuck I want with it, and if I wanna suck my own dick, I will. I’m not homophobic whatsoever, and I’m pretty secure in my sexuality, so I didn’t see any reason to feel bad about sucking my own dick.

Do you feel as though you give better head to yourself than any other person (male or female)?

Absolutely not. Like I mentioned before, my accessiblity was extremely limited. Although I did get instantanous feedback as to what felt good and what didn’t, so I suppose that was a slight advantage.

Have you told others about this?

Yes

Would you recommend this to your friends?

It’s worth a shot. Who knows, you might like it! But I’m assuming 99% of my friends wouldn’t be physically capable of sucking their own dick. But hey, try it out! Maybe you’ll be able to do it. It makes for a good interview on a blog run by a niche hip-hop producer 😉
(no shots fired, I love your music and this blog.)

“I sucked my own dick”

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I believe it was the poet laureate LL cool J who once said “I’m so bad I can suck my own dick”. When he said that, the public took notice. Mostly cause they were amazed at what an arrogant and weird thing that was to say. Still, the concept of a man performing oral sex on himself has always been a curious one to me. Not cause i have any interest in doing it (even if I wanted to, I can’t even touch my toes let alone do that) but more the mind set a man might have that would propel him to go for the gold. A week or so ago, I wrote about Uberfacts and the concept of self blowies came up. I hadn’t really thought about it so I figured I’d ask the people what they though. I threw up this poll


To my surprise, there were a decent amount of guys who had admitted to sucking their own dicks. Didn’t see that coming. So, i wanted to know more. Basically, I asked the people of facebook and twitter if they had ever sucked their own dicks and would they be willing to talk about it. The response was shockingly quick and willing. In fact, I got TOO many responses which means I’ll have to do a part two of this down the line. So, I made a little questionnaire for these gentleman and had them fill it out. It was anonymous (in that only I know their names). Thanks to all the participants but, also, you guys are kinda weird.
Here’s a few of the responses:

Subject one
Are you straight/gay/bi or other?
I am straight, but had a couple of same sex experiences (not for me).

Had you sucked another persons dick prior to sucking your own?
No, I’ve never sucked any other dick than my own.

Was the stretching part of move difficult and did it inhibit your movement?
I can accomplish this both seated hunched over and or with my legs over my head. In the seated position there is more mobility, legs over the head is very restrictive and uncomfortable (pressure on the neck).

You’re a straight man, do you think you intuitively knew how to suck a dick just based on what you’d seen and knowing what you like?
It’s hard to say really I just went for it one day when I was about 14 or 15 . Obviously having instant tactile feed back is a benefit.

Did you do it more than once? If so, how many times
I’ve probby done it 15 times. The legs over the head method isn’t exactly the most pleasurable due to discomfort and lack of movement, and I actually sometimes can not do the hunch method. I believe having a full stomach hinders my ability to do the hunch method (more research is needed I guess).

How would you describe your dicks taste? and did that taste linger in your mouth well after the deed was finished?
Not really note worth I keep it clean. There was no lingering after taste.

Did you cum? If so, where? In your own mouth, in your face or elsewhere (please specify where)
I usually cum into something (toilet paper, rag, sock), but I have ejaculated into my mouth on a few occasions. Those have given me perspective on the whole spit or swallow debate. Straight up my cum tastes gross and leaves a lingering after taste and slime that I would have to imagine is akin to raw eggs. I can’t blame any girl for spitting that shit out.

Are you good at sucking dick?
I wasn’t blown awat by my abilities, a sold C grade. I’ve had a lot better blow jobs and a few that were just atrocious. A mouths a mouth though right?

Do you consider sucking your own dick a homosexual act? please elaborate why, either way.
I don’t think it’s any more gay than giving yourself a handjob. That is to say it’s just another form of masterbation. I’m sure people would be judgement as fuck about it, but really who’s business is it how I get myself off. I’ve had one dick in my mouth my own, I’ll go head to head against any random lady on the street and odds are she’s had 5 dicks in her mouth at some point in her life, not at the same time I hope.

Did you feel any guilt about doing it afterwards?
Not so much guilty as just like we’ll that happened. I don’t have strong feelings about it one way or another.

Do you feel as though you give better head to yourself than any other person (male or female)?

I don’t think so. I love giving girls head and I can say with confidence that I am very good at it. The whole lack of range of motion is definitely a hindrance, but I’m not out here trying to win some dick sucking competition either.

Have you told others about this?
I told my EX girlfriend once. It was one of those dumb situations where she says “Tell me something you’ve never told me before” and we had been dating so long I could literally think of nothing so I just dropped it. I’m pretty sure she either thought I was being an asshole or didn’t know what to say because she didn’t ask for details and never brought it up again. She gave great head.

Would you recommend this to your friends?

Go for it! What do you have to lose, maybe you will really enjoy it. You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.

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Subject 2
Are you straight/gay/bi or other?

Gay

Had you sucked another persons dick prior to sucking your own?

No

Was the stretching part of move difficult and did it inhibit your movement?

It wasn’t very difficult. This mostly occurred when I was a horny teenager. I was pretty flexible and thankfully, am fairly well-endowed. I was usually able to do it by just leaning down while sitting.

You’re a gay man, did having practice prior to doing it , help you know what to do?

Somewhat. Having unlimited access to it helps you understand which areas felt the best, as well as how to ensure your teeth stay out of play. I was never flexible enough to deep throat myself or anything but I could get over half of it in.

Did you do it more than once? If so, how many times

Yes, I mostly did it as a teenager, and it was pretty frequent. I really couldn’t give a number. But I mean, a horny gay kid with the ability to fellate himself… imagine being a teenager and having 24/7 access to a disease-free vagina.

How would you describe your dicks taste? and did that taste linger in your mouth well after the deed was finished?

Not much of a taste. Just like licking skin. So maybe a little salty sometimes. I’m pretty OCD about cleanliness so I never let any tatse linger. I’d usually just use mouthwash or brush my teeth afterwards.

Did you cum? If so, where? In your own mouth, in your face or elsewhere (please specify where)

Yes. At first it seemed way too weird and gross to cum in my mouth, so I used to stop right before the point of no return and finish in a tissue or towel or something.But as a gay man you eventually just get past all that and take it down. It does makes for an easier cleanup.
Are you good at sucking dick?

I’d like to think so. As someone who actually enjoys it, I’ve never had any complaints at least.

Do you consider sucking your own dick a homosexual act? please elaborate why, either way.

In general, I don’t think it is. You’re providing pleasure to yourself. It’s just another form of masturbation. Although for me, it was absolutely a homosexual act in that as I was servicing myself, I was fantasizing about servicing other men.

Did you feel any guilt about doing it afterwards?

Only when I first started doing it. I was worried I’d feel too self-sustained and not try to pursue actual sex with another person. But it turned out to be more of an aide to the real thing in the end.

Do you feel as though you give better head to yourself than any other person (male or female)?

Definitely not. I was never flexible enough to reach the entire area so it was never as enjoyable.

Have you told others about this?

Only a couple close friends.

Would you recommend this to your friends?

Sure, I mean it’s really not that big of a deal. If you’re able to do it without being a dumbass and hurting yourself, it can be enjoyable and educational.

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Subject 3

Are you straight/gay/bi or other?

I guess I identify as straight though I sometimes wonder what it’d be like to *really* suck a dick. Men don’t turn me on, they just don’t necessarily turn me off.

Had you sucked another persons dick prior to sucking your own?

No

Was the stretching part of move difficult and did it inhibit your movement?

Yes. Honestly because of how difficult it is, I wasn’t able to get it deep enough and thus never finished.

You’re a straight man, do you think you intuitively knew how to suck a dick just based on what you’d seen and knowing what you like?

No, I had no fucking idea what I was doing.

Did you do it more than once? If so, how many times

Yes, maybe four times?

How would you describe your dicks taste? and did that taste linger in your mouth well after the deed was finished?

It’s kind of tasteless. Precum tastes salty. I never got as far as ejaculation.

Did you cum? If so, where? In your own mouth, in your face or elsewhere (please specify where)

After a bit it was too difficult so I just finished off with my hand as I usually do and probably onto my stomach. I have tried eating it before but that was a different occasion entirely.

Are you good at sucking dick?

Definitely not good at sucking my own.

Do you consider sucking your own dick a homosexual act? please elaborate why, either way.

Nah. If that’s a homosexual act, then so is masturbating with your hand.

Did you feel any guilt about doing it afterwards?

A little. It was kind of like, what the fuck did I just do. And then I moved on.

Do you feel as though you give better head to yourself than any other person (male or female)?

I don’t give head but I feel if I were to I’d be better at giving it to others.

Have you told others about this?

Honestly, I don’t remember. I’ve told a lot of people a lot of things. I don’t think I have though.

Would you recommend this to your friends?

No, it doesn’t feel like a blow job. It just feels like you’re sucking your own dick. If someone is reading this and still wants to give it a go, word of advice: put your hands on the back of your thighs .

Well, there you have it. I feel as though we got a nice variety in there. Perhaps I’ll post the others later on…or not. Maybe this whole thing was gross and no one is interested. We shall see. until then, suck a dick.

I hooked up with Riff Raff Vol. 6

Riff-Raff-performs

I swear to both god and satan alike, this was not my plan. When I first started interviewing girls who slept with Riff Raff, it was all about the sociology. i was curious about the man behind the man and a way to uncover that was to get insights you won’t find in interviews or youtube clips. That said, 5 volumes in and I feel as though I still only have a rough idea about the guy. From all accounts he seems like a normal guy. In the sense that he likes having sex with people. No shame in that at all.

So, the other day, I get an email from a girl who had seen previous installments who wanted to share her story with me. I just want that to be known cause I’m sure as hell not seeking these stories out anymore. Also, I always require proof of some sort cause I’m not trying to pander to trolls. Proof was given, questions were answered and here we are…once again.

How did you meet Riff Raff?
I met Jody at Vans Warped Tour in Atlanta on Thursday July 2. My friend and I went to see his set (which was awesome) at Aaron’s Lakewood amphitheater and then we went to his meet and greet a couple hours later and got our pictures taken with him. That was when we got friendly and exchanged phone numbers. Not long after we met, I got a text from him that said “It’s Jody” “Where ya at?”. My friend and I met up with his manager and he walked us to the Peach Panther tour bus where we hung out for the rest of the night.

Were you attracted to him when you met him?
I’ve been attracted to Riff Raff since I discovered him thanks to one of my old friends who actually looks a bit like him and actually dressed like him for Halloween before. I’m more drawn to him without the grills and braids (which is how he presented himself at Warped Tour that day), but either way I still think he’s a very attractive man.

Who was the aggressor , in terms of flirting and things escalating to a sexual level?
I think that I definitely made the first move: when I walked into the tent to meet him, I referred to him as my “neon daddy” and that’s when he asked me how old I am (18) and then proceeded to give me his phone number.

Is Riff Raff Charming?
I think that Jody was very charming and kind to me and my friend. We made good conversation and he wasn’t at all introverted or rude.

Was any part of sleeping with Riff Raff doing it because there’s something funny about being able to say you had sex with Riff Raff?
Most definitely. Especially afterwards, I didn’t expect to be so starstruck but as soon as we got off the bus to walk back to my car I almost lost it. It felt too much like a dream. I couldn’t believe I just had sex with Jody Highroller.
Have you slept with other “famous” people before?
Nope lol. Riff Raff is the first celebrity I’ve slept with.

Did he break out of character at any point? If so, when and how?
I feel like he was never really trying to play a character during the time I spent with him and his tour mates. He was very laid back and fairly (for lack of a better word) normal. It didn’t surprise me as much as I thought it would’ve, but I guess it helped me feel more comfortable around him.

Riff raff recently has been working out and getting huge. Do you have any incite on this? Are you into it?
He is definitely not as “swole” as people might think. I liked his figure actually. He has a pretty noticeable gut, but big arms so at least he’s proportional. And he was pretty decently sized down below as well

I feel as if most men are most honest and vulnerable post orgasm. Would you say this was true of Riff Raff?
I suppose, but like I said, he was pretty relaxed and laid back before. It’s not like we had like a heart to heart or anything intimate, but overall he’s a nice respectful guy and in my experience, he isn’t as freaky in the sheets and most would expect from such a character as Riff Raff.

Were drugs and alcohol involved in your personal time with Riff Raff? if so, what?
Not really. We ate Chickfila on the bus and there was Lemonade spiked with Vodka, but it wasn’t very good so I limited myself to only a little bit of that.

Did you enjoy sleeping with Riff Raff? Any regrets?
I enjoyed it very much actually. My experience isn’t as extensive as Jody’s, and he didn’t do anything I wasn’t comfortable with which was very sweet because he was more courteous than most of the “men” that live in my area. The only thing I regret was being too caught up in the moment to think about using protection, but since my encounter with Riff Raff, I’ve been tested for STD’s and I keep myself clean regularly anyways, so everything is all good.

Would you do it again?
If I was presented with the opportunity again, I probably wouldn’t pass it up. I had a lot of fun that day.

After it was all said and done, what is your take on Riff Raff, as a man? Good guy? Misunderstood genius? Retarded clown?
After spending only an evening with the man, I’ve gathered that he is a good guy with manners and he knows how to treat a lady, but all in all I still think he’s just a one night stand kind of guy. If I had the chance to get to know him better, I definitely would.

Aesop on the Secret Skin Podcast

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For those who don’t know, rapper and friend Open Mike eagle has a really great podcast called “Secret Skin”. On this show, Mike interviews comedians and musicians. Mike has a very nice way of making the conversation feel super casual yet music nerd friendly at the same time. I did the show a while back and had a great time:
http://www.infiniteguest.org/secret-skin/2014/10/open-mike-waffle-house-blockhead-part-two/embed/player/

This week, he got Aesop in there and it’s awesome. While you may have read Aesop interviews here and there, I believe this is his first real podcast (I could be wrong about that). Not just that, but it’s more than an interview as the typically private guy discusses things that he generally has kept to himself over the years. If you’re an Aesop fan, this will be your shit. Not just for the personal stuff, but also a look behind the curtain at his musical process.
Enjoy!
http://www.infiniteguest.org/secret-skin/2015/06/aesop-rock-anxiety-depression-moving-nyc/embed/player/

I Hooked up with riff Raff Vol. 5

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Again? Listen…I’m gonna be honest. When I started doing these it was cause I was truly curious about the man. Opportunity reared it’s head and I went with it. But, at this point, what more is there to say about Riff Raff? I’m not seeking out the women he’s slept with cause, well, it’s been covered. Still, on occasion, I will get an unsolicited email from a young lady claiming she has been with the mysterious super star. I’m usually skeptical and ask for proof, once they send me something (a pic, a screen shot of a text, etc…) I then proceed. However, I’m done with this. You can stop sending me stories about Riff Raff. I think I know everything I need to know. That said, this young lady reached out to me with a different angle so I thought I’d share it. She felt that Riff Raff had gotten a bad rap. Fair enough. And, to be honest, she may be the first girl I interviewed who actually knows the guy. The rest were drunken one offs but this girl actually has hung out with him multiple times. She basically sent this to me to give an alternate to the other girls I’ve spoken with. It’s only fair to let her be heard. But, like I said earlier, this is the last one. This shit already feels invasive enough and, honestly, I bet Riff Raff is an okay dude who doesn’t deserve his shit on blast. That said, I would like to put out a call to anyone who’s hooked up with Stitches. I wanna hear your story. Oh god, do i ever wanna hear that story. If you’ve hooked up with Stitches, email me at phatfriendblog@gmail.com and let’s chat. But Riff raff? This is the last one.
Let’s check it out:

How did you meet Riff Raff?
At one of his concerts in early December backstage. My best friend and I met one of the owner’s of the venue that night and he let us in.

Were you attracted to him when you met him?
I was physically attracted to him because of his body (he’s super bulky and all muscle). Other than that, not at all.

Who was the aggressor?
Who was the aggressor, in terms of flirting and things escalating to a sexual level?
He was definitely the aggressor. My friend and I were hanging out backstage after the concert, not even talking to him, and he approached me and he pointed at me saying “I want you tonight.” We ended up going to his hotel with him and partying with him and his friends for the night. In the car on the way there, he put his arm around me and was really laying moves on me- whispering into my ear etc. When we arrived he led me straight to the bedroom. He wouldn’t keep his hands off me the rest of the night.

Is Riff Raff Charming?
There’s definitely something about him that keeps me coming back for more, but I haven’t figured out what it exactly is yet.

Was any part of sleeping with Riff Raff doing it because there’s something funny about being able to say you had sex with Riff Raff?
At first, yes. It was just another wild night spent with my best friend partying and we knew it would be a hilarious experience to have and story to tell someday.

Have you slept with other “famous” people before?
Kind of. Unfortunately, Riff Raff would be the most famous though.

Did he break out of character at any point? If so, when and how?
The first night I met him and partied with him, not at all. He was the exact person anyone would expect him to be. He was definitely trying to show off all night long. He was on drugs that night and alcohol was involved so that may’ve added to it. Our other encounters since then have been a lot different and I can say he has broke out of character. I’ve seen both sides of him now- the flashy-show off-rapper-party boy, and the gentle-caring-mellow-nicer version.

Riff raff recently has been working out and getting huge. Do you have any incite on this? Are you into it?
He works out all the time and he is really focusing on his body and health a lot more and he is starting to party a little less! I’m totally into it. Good for him for wanting to better his physical health. That is one thing we definitely bonded over- both loving our gym time and wanting to better our bodies. As for his diet, he doesn’t have one hahaha!

I feel as if most men are most honest and vulnerable post orgasm. Would you say this was true of Riff Raff?
I can say this is true, but definitely not the first time we were together. The first time we hooked up, we finished, and then washed up and went to go party some more. As we got to hanging out more, every time after we have hooked up its been more intimate. Yes, we have cuddled.

Were drugs and alcohol involved in your personal time with Riff Raff? if so, what?
Our first encounter involved a lot of alcohol and many drugs were floating around that night, but all that we did was coke. Every other time I’ve hung out with him since, we’ve either been sober or some alcohol was involved.

Did you enjoy sleeping with Riff Raff? Any regrets?
The first time it was just something fun to do. I did enjoy it, still have no idea why. Every time we hang out, I enjoy hooking up with him and being in his presence more. Still haven’t figured out why. There’s just something to him. No regrets though!

Would you do it again?
I’ve already done it with him a few times. I plan on us seeing each other again soon. No one knows what the future may hold though.

After it was all said and done, what is your take on RiffRaff, as a man? Good guy? Misunderstood genius? Retarded clown?

Surprisingly, he is a very smart man. His rap persona is all an act. He does it because he loves being goofy and having fun with his music. I give him a lot of credit because he is drawing in the fans and captivating people with all the craziness. Like any good entertainer, he has it figured out and he’s stacking up the cake $$$. He’s been nothing less than a gentleman to me. From what his friends have told me, he wasn’t always like this. He is truly trying to put tons of effort into his fitness and health, and trying to be a better person than he used to be and his friends are much happier for him now. I think he finally got his head on straight and has established goals for himself. All in all, he is a smart and good man.

And there you have it. He’s a good guy with feelings. He’s getting healthy. He’s capable of human emotion. He is not a cartoon. I feel as though this story finally reached a happy place. Best of luck to Riff Raff and thanks to this girl for sharing a different side of things with all of us.

I hooked up with Riff Raff Vol. 4

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You know, I kinda thought we were done here. I assumed the moment had passed and the wonderment of Riff Raff had finally simmered down. Since we last checked, the enigmatic rapper has released his first real album, has probably been touring relentlessly and it’s most likely a wealthy man. All I know for sure is that his Vine is still pretty funny.
Anyway, I got an email from a young lady the other day telling me she had just slept with Riff Raff the prior night. It was my first unsolicited admission, as all the others were arranged through people I actually knew. I was a little suspect and asked her if there is any way she could prove this wasn’t fake. She understood and sent me a screen cap of their twitter DM’s and, well, good enough for me. And , after reading her synopsis of the night, I 100% believe her. If nothing else, Riff Raff has proven to be consistent.
So, here’s what she sent me:
Well I’d always wanted to meet him and when he followed me I figured it was my chance. He’s really odd but attractive in a way and so he ended up texting me and said “hey”. I said “what’s up?”. He asked where I was at and I said my house, and he didn’t reply after that. Well, me and my girl were drinking and I hadn’t texted him again in a couple days. I didn’t wanna come off as like a crazy fan and Annoy him, ya know? So, I texted him a topless picture. kinda forward ,I know. Not my proudest moment but tequila makes ya risky. So, he asked where I was at and if I also had a friend I was bringing and asked for our instagrams and then proceeded to give us his address. He was staying at the veer. It’s really nice and hard to find. Definitely expensive. Finally, we find the place and get in. I call him and hand the phone to the clerk ,who lets us up ,and we get to his room. I was pretty drunk but he was a very chill person. Seemed careful though. For instance, once me and my girl got in , I charged my phone but she asked if she could take a picture and he tripped out a little bit. He has to keep his stuff private , you know? He didn’t like her very much after that so she went to wait in the lobby with her friend and left me alone. It was all very quick and I sucked him up for a little and he used a condom. It didn’t last very long as far as I remember but he asked to cum on my face and I let him ,which I never do. lol. After I hopped in his shower real quick and he had somewhere to go maybe a club? And I left with my friend it wasn’t a very long visit he was very chill with me tho

So there you have it. I think the highlight for me is that he asked to see their instagrams. Smart man. Surely, a man who has had his share of unwanted surprises, when it comes to female guests. Also, the sexual description really cracked me up to. Just so direct. I don’t think I’ve ever heard a sexual tryst described like “I sucked him him up for a little and he used a condom”.
Anyway, I asked this girl to answer some more questions and she was kind enough to oblige.
Here those are:

Have you hooked up with other famous people?

No actually this was the first time

How quickly did he get into it once your friends left? was it assumed that it was on?

Yeah definitely after our texts and right away.

What made you let him cum in your face (cause you mentioned you don’t usually do that)? Just for the experience ,going with the flow or something else?

The experience mainly I thought it was pretty hilarious plus my really drunken state made me say yeah easier

What was the drug situation like that night, for both of you?

None for me and honestly as far as I know he could have been sober.

Is this the kinda experience you will tell future boyfriends about?

If they are the chill type I think it would be a cool story but definitely depends on the person.

Did you find him to be respectful or business like in how he went about the whole thing?

Both. he was really chill but we were both there for one thing

Would you do it again?

Yeah if he’s down

Would you ever date a guy like riff raff seriously?

No I don’t think so I’d honestly have to get to know him better but he’s really odd and way older

Do you consider his persona to be real or put on for the public?

Real lol

RIFF

Peep this interview I did

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Doing interviews can be boring. In most cases, it’s people asking you the same questions the last 5 guys asked you. As if there is an artist questionnaire that all press is given that makes them ask you what inspires you, who influences you and what is your “process”. However, every now and then, you get a dude who doesn’t give a shit about that crap and he asks you about porn , rap and basketball. In other words, three things I like talking about. This is one of those. My boy Jason Gloss AKA Philaflava AKA Opinionated Jay is a bro, just like me. He recently asked me a bunch of questions and I legitimately enjoyed answering them. Even if he did use my press shot from 2003. Here’s that chat:
http://opinionatedjay.com/interview-tuesdays-with-blockhead/