Year in review 2014

Whelp, this year is finally over. Can’t say I’m too bummed about that. As I do every year, it’s time to sift through the crap and see what was popping over here at Phat Friend. This is a great way to perhaps read some posts you might have missed, peep some songs you didn’t know existed and basically see what this blog is all about, if you’re not initiated.

Let’s start out with 5 posts that got a lot of page clicks. For whatever reason. These are a mixed bag of fun write ups and lists.

1)You know, i bet she/he is alright
Maybe you can’t judge a book by it’s cover? In this post, I run down celebrities who, while I loathe what they do/create, I’d imagine are actually pretty cool people in real life. This is as positive as it gets around these parts.

2)Top ten types of people I meet at shows
In this post, I rundown the most common types of people I meet when I do my shows. i omitted the normal cool people cause that would be boring. Granted, they make up the majority but, you know, lemme have some fun.

3)I hooked up with Riff Raff Part 4
Continuing the popular series from last year, I ask girls who fucked rapper Riff raff some questions. I’m not trying to get dirt on the man as much as I’m trying to tear down the walls and see who’s behind the curtain. Spoiler alert: apparently, riff raff is riff raff.

4)Which Hip hop Gimmick with the best?
This is a walk down memory lane. I look at some of the best/worse gimmicks of 90’s hip hop and see which on stands as the greatest. Reader votes included.

5)Quality or quantity
This is a look at the age old discussion, but how it pertains to people who make beats/music. Admittedly,it’s not very funny but it’s food for thought at the very least. Especially for budding musicians.

Admittedly, I don’t rant as much as I used to. Maybe I’m running out of shit to pretend to be mad at. Or maybe I’m just getting older and slowly beginning my transition to “man who yells at clouds” for good. Who knows. That said, it wasn’t an empty year for rants. Here are my five favorite rants I posted this year

1) Moby Leaves New York and the world stops for us all
This is a response to a “farewell and fuck off!” letter Electronic artist moby wrote upon leaving NYC to move to a little town called L.A.. I don’t think Moby ever read it though. Oh well…

2)Stop Snitching: instagram Edition
This post is a response to this time I posted a pic of my nephews bare ass (he’s 1.5 years old) and it got taken down off instagram. People are fucking ridiculous.

3)3)Things that are wrong with the world Vol. 30
In this edition , I go off on a terrible female white rapper from minnesota. It’s not her, it’s me…But , really, it goes way beyond this one lady.

4)4)Too much ass? Say it Ain’t so
It was the year of ass. I love ass. But , let’s be honest, it got a little fucking ridiculous.

5)A message to people being shitty on the internet
So many assholes out there hiding behind their laptops. It’s easy to be a terrible human being on line. This one is for those people.

On a rare occasion, I can tell a story. In all reality, i don’t do much. I make music, chill with my friends, get drunk on occasion , play basketball until I injure myself and go on tour. That’s about it. But, there were a few things that popped off this year that needed to told to you.

1)Old people doing drugs
This is a recap of weekend where I went to a cabin with a bunch of my friends and did drugs. This doesn’t sound like much but, keep in mind, we’re all in your mid/late 30’s and , personally, i don’t do drugs anymore (much). So, this is a retelling of what it was like to return to that world after a 10 year hiatus.

2)Goddamn Wet Wipes aka the shittiest day
This is the story of the time my toilet decided to explode and destroy my home. This is actually still a slight issue and is not fully resolved but why not give you guys something to chuckle about. Warning: There is video included.

And what would this blog be without the music? It’s been a busy year for your truly so I have plenty to share…let’s start with the two releases I worked on:

My new solo album Bells and whistles. If you’re linked to any of my social networks, you should know that this came out last month. I’ve been certainly posting about it enough. The link above has all necessary info you will need to find that album. As well as the full thing streaming.

I also did an album with Philly rapper Marq Spekt that came out on Hipnott records.
It’s him rapping and me on the beats. If you like some straight up hard east coast type shit, this is for you. Peep our album “Justplaywitit

Beyond the full lengths, I did a ton of remixes too. Here’s links to those:
Hott Nigga Remix
Nina Simone mega mash up
I remixed a song for Little People
A bonus track from the Marq Spekt album featuring Aesop rock and Open Mike Eagle
A mash up of “Sunny” That i do live, recorded for your pleasure
A remix for the band The Skins. Taking some rock and roll and making it more blockheadish.

Finally, let’s not forget that I occasionally give away music. Why? Cause i love you.
Here are some compilations I gave away. Music of my own and by others…
My favorite songs of the year
All the songs I produced with rappers (excluding aesop songs)
A ton of random , hard to find remixes I’ve done from over the years

And that’s it! hope your new year is great and see you all on the other side.

Answers for Questions vol. 204
Hi there, I’m here reporting live from a raddison hotel in Fresno California. It’s about 289 degrees outside so I’m pretty psyched to be here. Also, shout out to all the people who have come to see my shows. San Diego, L.A. and S.F…you guys kicked ass. I hit colorado later this week , as well as Austin. Check the dates on my Facebook page is you live in either of those places.
Anyway, this is another edition of “Answers for questions”. You ask, I answer. If you’d like to be a part of this, please, send me questions. Either email them to me at or leave them in the comments below. I accept both with open arms. Let’s dig into this weeks batch.

What’s your stance on music piracy.  More specifically what if someone downloaded all your music, but then still went to see you live?  Would you consider that bad form either way or is it something that doesn’t really bother you.  I’ve heard touring makes the most money so I was curious.

I think it’s safe to say most artists who are from my era feel the same way about piracy. We don’t like it but there’s also nothing we can really do about it. We were around during a time when record sales actually mattered (and paid bills for us personally) so the jump into a an era where that’s pretty much impossible for any artist not on the radio, is a bummer. That said, it’s the times we live in and sitting around complaining about it is pretty futile. Acceptance is unavoidable if you want to continue with making music.
Because of that reality, musicians have to bank on touring as a means to get paid. It’s just par for the course. I can honestly say that if I made enough money off music to not tour, I probably wouldn’t do it much. Simply cause I hate traveling and I’m super content just being home all the time. But , I don’t so I tour and it’s totally fine.
As for the second part of the question, coming to my shows is exactly what I want people who steal my music to do. It’s literally one of the only benefits of people pirating your shit. I’ve had people come up to me at shows and had me $40 like “hey man, I stole all your music so heres some money for that”. While that’s is kind aver the top and unnecessary , it is pretty cool of them. But, yeah, coming to the shows makes a difference for sure. Let’s be honest, for an artist like me, an album is pretty much promotional material for my live show. It’s backwards and crazy that that is how it is now but , hey, fuck it…that’s the world we’ve created.

what’s the most ignorant and belligerent you’ve ever gotten? i hesitate to use the word gangster bc it implies violent crime… but what’s the most gangster shit you’ve ever done? where you really abandoned any pretense of giving a fuck and got straight disrespectful. or straight gutter if it went that far. i’m mild-mannered, but i’ve surprised myself a time or two w the shit i’ve done. so it’s always fascinating to see other mild-mannered ppl break character, right or wrong.

Sadly (or thankfully, depending how you look at it) I’m a very careful person. I always have been. I’m not reckless at all and think about consequences for all my actions. Because of this, I haven’t done a ton of bad shit. Off the top, I’m drawing a blank of anything that would even begin to classify as gangster. I suppose there was that time I was with a friend in connecticuit at his family’s country house and we went around the neighborhood breaking into peoples houses and eating food from the fridge’s then bouncing. But I was more just following my friend. Trust that I was having a panic attack the entire time.
There was another time in high school where i got so drunk at a party (It was actually at Uma Thurman’s little brothers house) that I vomited out of a window, looked down and realized I just puked all over a parked police car. Luckily, they weren’t inside it though.
Also there are all those times I murdered people. Can’t forget about those but, you know, whatever. Shit happens.

You’re a musician who makes a living creating and performing his work. Even though you’re not über famous or rich, you seem to have a loyal fan base, you do things your own way, and you’ve been at it for years; I think that’s a pretty objective metric for success. However, I’m curious, how do you view your own career? Do you see yourself as being successful?

I’m pretty happy with where I’m at and what I’ve done. Sure, being wealthier and more stable would be nice but I actually like my level of notoriety. I can go anywhere and no one knows who I am. My “fame” doesn’t infringe on my day to day life and that’s ideal. The majority of people I meet in real life have no clue what I do. Hell, a lot of my close friends have never even heard ante of music I’ve made and that’s pretty cool to me.
The bottom line is that I get to make money doing something that’s fun. That in itself is a victory. The only downside is the longevity. Who knows where I’ll be with this in five years and how long can a guy really make the kinda music I do? Aside from those fears, it’s awesome though.
Keep i mind, I’m writing this from a hotel in Fresno right now.

These following questions really means well but it is a shit storm of cliched questions i’ve been answering since the early 2000’s. So I’mma breeze through them speed round style.

How are ya, man?
Fine. My allergies are acting up but life will go on.
What are some of your biggest influences in life?
Satan, mostly.

How did you become such a down to earth, funny, caring, and simply being yourself?
I’d guess my mom raised me right? Also, being an emotionless robot actually makes a person come off as fairly humble and good natured.
Who are some of your biggest influences and why? How are or were they as people.
You asked this one already…like two seconds ago. What’s the better with you, bro?
What’s your favorite candy if you like candy?
I like gummy bears. But I also like chocolate stuff. Skor bars are very underrated.
How often if ever do you smoke weed anymore? I know you don’t get along with it and I recently found out the same.
I never smoke weed.
Where do you like to travel most and why?
San Francisco. I got family there and , in general, I like the vibe. It’s the city I’ve spent the most time in outside of NYC by a landslide.
How many records do you go through
on average for a 3 minute beat?

I listen to tons of records cause it’s all trial and error but I’d say I use at least 7 or 8 different samples on every beat I make.

Have you seen Bobbito García’s “Doin’ It In The Park”? …any thoughts on it?

In addition, Do you have any favourite films/documentaries about basketball?

I have and I enjoyed it. I dunno if it’s actually good or not but the topic is so near a dear to my heart that it’s impossible for me to not be into it.
As for basketball movies, Hoop dreams is obviously the GOAT. But “Soul in the hole” was good too. The ESPN 30 for 30 about the pistons is excellent. I could watch that kinda shit forever.
For non-documentaries, my standards are incredibly low. I’ll watch most movies if they have even slightly realistic basketball in them. For example, I’ve seen Coach Carter probably 40 times. I’m also willing to be I’ve watched “Finding forrester” more than anyone else on earth. It just be like that sometimes, I guess.

my question is what message are you sending with your blog banner of the fat girl with her skinny friends

fat people suck? fat people deserve pity.

i’ve been a fan of yours for 15+ yrs, but dude, that image pisses me off

Yeah dude (or ma’am), my message is that fat people suck. Obviously. What are you talking about? My blog is called “Phat friend”. That’s a picture of a bunch of friends, and one of them is fat (phat). Is it mean? I guess you could see it that way. But it’s not a statement on fat people. It’s just a picture I thought was funny and went well with my blog title. Would it make you happier if I photoshopped my face on her? If i knew how to do that, I’d do it in a second. Cause it would be hilarious X10.
Basically, if this kinda thing pisses you off enough to make a stink about it, you are either too easily pissed off to read this kind of blog/website or bored. I can’t control what offends other people. if this bothers you, that’s unfortunate but , like all things on this blog, it’s not that serious. In fact, that picture is probably the least serious thing on the entire site. It’s a joke. JOKES. Picking you battles is very underrated and I think, in general,people on the internet would be much happier if they didn’t let outrage over something as pointless as the banner pic on my dumb ass blog effect them in any way.
Side note,
I have no issues with fat people and plan to be one in the near future.

Fuck/marry/kill Vol. 35

Welcome once again to a world of love, sex and murder. It’s a game we’ve all played on some level. Well, maybe not the murder part but that’s what makes it fun.
Anyway, as always, i’m compelled to preface all this with the disclaimer “This is not serious” cause, inevitably, someone gets upset that this game even exists. If you find it belittling to women, just know the only reason I don’t play the game using men is cause , as a straight guy, it’s impossible for me gauge wanting to fuck one man more than another. I wont to not fuck them all equally.
Anyway, if you would like to throw me some F/M/K options, leave them in the comment section below. I’m always looking for new , interesting combos. Be creative. Not Lady gaga, madonna or Katie Perry. We’ve been down those roads already. Get weird with it.
So, let’s get into this weeks bounty.

F/M/K- The “Women Taller Than You” EDITION:
Aisha Tyler, Kimora Lee Simmons, Uma Thurman

(Side note, I’m as tall or taller than all these women but point made)

Marry: Aisha Tyler
It’s been discussed on here before that I don’t exactly love tall girls. Something about my feet touching another persons feet while making out in a bed just is a huge turnoff to me. Not to mention the tangling of long arms and legs. Just not my thing. That said, I BEEN loving Aisha Tyler since her Talk Soup days. She’s super pretty and pretty much one of the cooler ladies on the planet. Without question I would wife her up. Throw a ring on her long ass finger and beg her never to wear heels around me.

Fuck: Kimora Lee simmons
This was tough cause Kimora has been looking kinda crazy lately. I dunno if it’s botox or just getting older but he face seems to be inflating in a really odd way. Still, she’s a pretty hot woman. Also, she looks a lot like a girl I once slept with who also happened to be the tallest girl I ever hooked up with. That girl was hot so, in a way, this pick is based entirely on nostalgia. A time when Kimora was still really fly and I had sex with that girl that one time. Side story about that girl: She was a coke head and she literally stopped mid sex to go to the bathroom and do a line. Not exactly a huge turn on. I bet Kimora would never do that cause she’s classy.

Kill: Uma Thurman
Uma has always been a weird one for me. I’ve seen her look good but, more often, I’ve seen her look not so good. I actually sorta knew her bother a little in high school and went to his house for a party once. His family has semi nude pictures of her all around the house (she was a model at the time and they were extreme hippie types). It was weird. Anyway, she’s definitely pretty but there has always been something about her that was an issue for me. Her hands. Uma got big hands. Like…HUGE hands. Hands so big, I once started a twitter hashtag #umagotbighands (though maybe it was something different cause I can’t find any of those tweets now). I recently learned that a lot of girls pay attention to men’s hands and i had never really considered that. Turns out , in extreme cases, we look at your hands as well, ladies. So, if you look like you can palm a globe, it’s a no go. Admittedly, it’s a shallow reason to off someone but that’s the name of the game. #umagotbighands

Fatty Foods Edition:
Poutine, Buffalo Wings, Nachos

Fuck: Nachos
I think, if prepared right, I could actually literally fuck a plate of nachos. I love nachos. I think we all do. Part of the beauty of them is that there is a lot of versatility in how can prepare them. You would think that might lend to me marrying them but, the reality of nachos is, it’s not a real meal. It’s an appetizer. I’ve never ordered some nacho’s and called it a day. I’ve also never ordered nacho’s for one. It’s something you share. So, as good as they are, they’re without question a part time lover.

Kill: Poutine
The canadian person who submitted this question loves to bring Canada into everything. Thus, poutine is here. Listen, Poutine is delicious. No doubt. Gravy cheese fries (yes, I know it’s curds, calm down), If I lived in Montreal, I’m sure I’d drunkly eat it once a week and feel terrible about it the next day. The thing is, for some reason, it rings a bell of “this is TOO unhealthy”. I realize nachos and buffalo wings are probably right up there with them but…I dunno…just the way they make you feel after eating them is enough for me to flick the kill switch. It’s like swallowing a bunch of bricks. It’s the type of food that, when you wake up the morning after, you still feel too full. Not a fan of that so I gotta put Poutine to it’s eternal rest. Also, any food that is eaten 95% of time by drunk people is seriously lacking in versatility and depth.

Marry: Buffalo Wings
Goddamnit , I love wings. If they were not so completely terrible for me, I’d eat them 3 or 4 times a week. IF the nutritional value of a bag of baby carrots could somehow trade with buffalo wings…I’d be out here with a glazed red face, smelling like blue cheese and tabasco sauce, 24 hours a day. I recognize that Buffalo wings are limited in that they are just chicken wings (By calling them buffalo wings, this is excluding all the other type of chicken wing preparations) but fuck all that noise. Sometimes, something is so good it doesn’t need all the bells and whistles. Sure, You may be able to literally throw anything on nacho’s, but they’ll never be as good as a fantastic buffalo wing. Not even NAchos with buffalo wings on top. Sorry, brah…they just won’t be.

The Throwback Thursday Edition: Claire Danes / Keri Russell / Neve Campbell

Marry: Keri Russell
This is kinda like the battle of the moderately but undeniably attractive girls who lacked any speck of sexiness. All three of these girls are ones I’ve never even thought of in a particularly sexual way. I think I choose to marry Keri Russell cause I’ve actually seen her walking around my neighborhood before and , in person, she is a adorable. She’s one of those girls you see on a screen and think “whatever…” but then you realize, if you knew her in real life, you’d love her. The sad part is that it took me seeing her in person to realize that so she has an unfair advantage here. But, whatever, she’s actual wifey material ,in a real world sense.

Fuck: Neve Campbell
I really only chose her cause I am 100% not attracted to Claire Danes. Neve Campbell is okay I guess. She’s certainly pretty. But, like I mentioned earlier, she’s lacking sexiness. That said, she was in “Wild things” and she tried to strut her stuff a little in that. She made it with a girl, yo! Whatever the case, i’d be an asshole to say she’s not a pretty girl and i’ve certainly done worse in real life than Neve Campbell. Not to mention, I’d say she’s gotten better with age, which isn’t exactly commonplace. sooooo…yeah. SEX!

Kill: Claire Danes
This works on a few levels. I’ve never ever ever ever though she was cute. Something about the angularity of her face. It’s all bulbous or something. But , beyond that, I kinda loath her acting. It’s gotten better on “Homeland” , in the sense that she’s really good at having long term panic attacks but, prior to that? ughh…”My so called life” may be a really important TV show for a lot of people in my age bracket cause they related deeply to it but, as a man who didn’t grow up in the suburbs or go to a school where everyone was depressed , awkward and/or on drugs, I got no patience for that bullshit. Her character ,in particular, rubbed me the wrong way. Not cause it reminded me of girls i knew that I didn’t like but cause it didn’t remind me…of anyone. She was just some annoying girl who bulged her eyes out a lot. I’d lend that to the character but, really, it’s her. So, I’d have to end…her so called life. Hi-yoooooo!

F/M/K Juice ,Menace II Society ,Boyz n The Hood

Fuck: Juice
is Juice a good movie? I don’t even know anymore. I loved it when it came out but I was also a kid and someone who loved all things rap related. I feel like it may have aged poorly…but whatever. It’s an iconic movie from my teenaged years and that will always hold a place in my heart. It’s like the Christina Applegate of movies. Back then, there was no one hotter to me but when I see her pics from back then now I wonder what I was thinking. Still, because of that era left such an imprint on my brain, I’ll always be down for Applegate. Juice is the same way. So, I’ll fuck it.

Kill: Boyz in the Hood
When this movie came out, it blew everyone away. Like all my peers, I loved it. I saw it like 3 times in the theater. Problem is, it’s a terrible movie. Like REALLY bad. While “Juice” may not have aged well, “Boyz in the hood” is an example of something being the first of it’s kind so it got a pass. Once the smoke cleared and I had some time to reflect on it, it was clear that “BITH” was basically an after school special about compton. I’m talking terrible dialogue, lame characters, over acting and corny plot lines. It’s a REALLY bad movie. If you’re reading this and getting pissy cause it’s your shit, I urge you, watch it again. I was once like you. I loved this movie. But time had been a cruel bitch to this film and as soon as “Menace II society” came out, “BITH” was irrelevant. Seriously…watch it again. SO BAD.

Marry: Menace II Society
In the 90’s, the “hood” movie was a huge deal. While “Boyz in the hood” started it, Menace shut the door. It remains pretty much the only film in the entire genre (from that era) that was actually a high quality film. Sure, it wasn’t without it’s faults but it was kinda like a Public enemy album in a sea of Kid n’ Play albums. While BITH opened our eyes to that whole lifestyle, Menace made it feel real. Not to mention it looked better, was written better, had better acting and was just better in every other way imaginable. To this day, if it’s on, I’ll watch it. So, for that, i put a ring on it.

Which song do you prefer?

I’m always a proponent of old rappers doing good. In the last few weeks 3 legends and one highly regarded old rapper who still hasn’t released an album, released duets that I think deserve some attention. In this corner…
We have Black Thought and Pharoahe Monch. This is a cut off of Monch’s New album “Psdt”.
Monch is pretty much every rap nerd and rapper from the 90’s favorite MC. If not favorite, he’s top ten easily. There is no denying his skill set. While his solo albums never really had the same impact as his work with Organized Konfusion, there’s no denying his place amongst the upper echelon of rappers. Black thought is right there with him. Now, truth be told, he’s not a rapper I particularly love. I think he’s kinda boring BUT the dude is as skilled as rapper as it gets. It’s a moot point. He’s got every base of technical rapping down to science. Here’s the track:

In the other corner…
We have Jay-Z and Jay Electronica. Now, if you’re dipshit, you think Jay-z sucks. I’m speaking in the all-time sense. I’ll be the first to admit that Jay hasn’t made shit in a while that I loved but to deny his legacy is short sighted and , simply, flat out wrong. You may not like his topical range (People that claim this have obviously over looked his huge collection of introspective songs he’s done over the years) but his track record is impeccable. As for Jay Electronica, he’s a guy I’ve been touting for years now but he’s also a guy who can’t fucking put an album out. I’ve heard rumors as to why…one being that his album is finished but won’t be put out cause it lacks any sort of radio singles. If that’s the case, it’s pretty annoying…but he’s not the first or last to fall victim to that kinda shit. Anyway, this song is them rapping like Migos over a dope track. Also, Jay-Z disses Drake. No clue why and I honestly don’t care. It’s a good song though.

So, which do you prefer? which of these all 35 plus year old rappers do you ride for? I have a feeling I know who’s gonna win this but , hey, I’ve been surprised before. Get your vote on…

New Ep With Illogic and New Armand Hammer Remix!

Busy week!
First off, as you may know, Illogic and I have done a lot of work together over the last few years. Yesterday we released the final EP of the Capture the Sun series. “After Capture”.
It’s available here:

Enjoy it!

Also, I recently did a remix for my boys Armand Hammer AKA Billy Woods and Elucid for their song “Black Ark”. Peep that:

Speaking of which, if you’re in the NYC area thursday, there’s an awesome show popping off hosted by the good people at backwoodz records. Peep the flyer:

Answers for questions vol. 137

Whattup everyone,
I hope your memorial day was as good as mine. I watched the entire new season of Arrested Development and barely left the couch. Good times.
As always, if you got questions, send them my way. My mailbox is always open. Either email them to at or leave them in the comments below. Keep them interesting.
this is a day later than usual but, surely, you don’t give a shit either way. So, let’s get into it.

What do you think about a person if you find out that they don’t drink?… Like if you realize it just from some passing comment during conversation… Do you find them suspicious and instantly try to distance yourself? Do you automatically assume anything good or bad about them? Do you instantly ask them “How can you not drink?”, or publicly berate them until they explain themselves? Why do so many drinkers react this way?

I don’t really react either way. While i’m curious of why they don’t, as long as they’re not judging me for drinking, I don’t really give a shit. It’s a little strange to ask someone straight up “Why don’t you drink?” cause, assuming you don’t know them that well, they might not want to tell a stranger that unless they are one of those rare people who was never into it. But , I’d imagine most passing acquaintances don’t really wanna get into their addiction history with anyone as small talk.

hey block

this question may not be applicable to your current creative process as some of the posts i’ve read seem to indicate you’ve streamlined things quite a bit (also the very nature of the problem just seems like something you’d have solved before becoming a professional musician), but i’ll give it a shot anyways as it’s not really something you’ve talked about explicitly.

how many beats are you working on at any given time and how do you go about managing all of your creative scraps and half-made songs? not really looking for step by step instructions or anything, just your overall take on this. i feel like it can become a problem more easily for people who do everything on a computer as all you have to do is press save as opposed to transcribing or recording an instrumental passage you just came up with.

I’m actually the type of guy who finishes what I started. I rarely make half a beat, leave it and move on to the next thing. This might be cause I know myself well enough to know that I’m not gonna touch it again once I’ve moved on. I’d sooner just start over then make half a beat. The only time I go back to a track is if I stopped making it cause of time constraints. But, keep in mind, my “finished beat” isn’t really finished. It’s just a beat that is complete in the sense that it’s got all the parts I think it needs for that time. Once it’s “done”, I throw it in the pile and move on but ,when it’s time to make a new album or work with mc’s, it gets a second life.

Whats your favourite line from Macgruber?
Oh man, there are so many…one that always cracks me up is when he’s talking to ryan phillippe by the fire about how he met his wife and spirals into the awful story of what a piece of sociopathic shit he is (but it’s being told by him as if he was a victim).

I live in a third world country (Australia), and you never come here, which is understandable, since it’s in the middle of fucking nowhere. This isn’t a plea begging you to please come over here to do some shows just for me or any of that pathetic “I’m your #1 fan dude, gimme some love” type wack shit, but I’m just curious as to what makes you go to places like st. petersburg or bucharest (not even sure if you went there or not)? Did enough people request you there or some peeps had loads of cash to book a tour for you or anything like that?

I’ve actually played in Australia before and I loved it. It was about 6 years ago though.
I have a simple answer for your question: I got where the offers are. If I don’t get offers from a certain place, I don’t go. Money is definitely an aspect of it, especially when traveling abroad. The flights to places have to be paid for and I’m not trying to lose money when I go on the road so, you know, the farther the place, the more they promoter has to be willing to spend. Or, at least, I have to have enough shows lined up at that destination that I come home with a decent amount of money. So, a place like australia is tough cause the flight is so expensive and booking a tour there longer than three gigs is rare. But, trust, I LOVED it there and would love to go back.

Hey Block, do you have any crazy/funny/weird stories about run-ins with the one-time???

I haven’t heard the term “one time” in forever. That means “police” , for anyone who was born after 1990 and before 1975.
As for cop run in’s, I can’t say I have. I’ve always been a very law abiding citizen. Outside of getting caught pissing in public, drinking in public and smoking weed in public, I’ve avoided their wrath. And all those instances just led to tickets or warnings.
I did get approached once for Jaywalking when I was in europe. Once he realized I was american the ticket turned into a warning though. But still, if your city gives tickets for jaywalking, they are both extremely safe and also very corny.

Always wondered…when you are performing, have you ever had to go to the bathroom really bad, like you want to run off the stage for a minute just to get it out of your system. I wonder this because I drink at a lot of shows and sometimes I can’t make it through a set without running to take a piss(usually after “breaking the seal”). Probably not as much of an issue since you are not a big drinker, but I know “artists” that drink before shows and sometime are tanked on stage. Any interesting stories you have or have heard from others? I know Action Bronson has been well documented pissing during his sets. Seems like it would be more of an issue for bands like The Cure of Bruce Springsteen who put on 3 hour+ sets. Are breaks planned for when a set is more than 45 minutes long? Thoughts?

I’ve had some close calls…but more with needing to shit than needing to pee.
The pee thing happened once when I was playing in San francisco. I had been drinking and was drunk enough to forget to empty myself before getting on stage. Normally, if it’s available , I’ll try and get any issues I have with my body fluids out of the way right before I go on. I’d say this practice is pretty typical of most musicians. In fact, the pre-show shit is an oft spoken of topic amongst performers. It’s part nerves and part lightening the load.
Anyway, halfway through the show, I had to piss like a mad man and was considering just peeing into a bottle on stage (I was actually in a booth that night so I could have technically gotten away with it). But, I held out and just bolted to a bathroom after the set was over. The only problem was that people wanted to talk to me as I got off stage. So, if you were one of those people and you’ve been telling your friends that I’m an asshole to my fans for the last 4 years, now you know. I had to pee WAY more than I had to meet you.
As for shit stories, I think I’ve told this one on here before. It was literally my first show ever. I was unbelievably nervous and playing in London in front of like 2000 people. Well, let me amend that. The venue would eventually have 2000 people but I was the opener to the opener and went on when the doors opened. so, it was more like 50 people. Still, it was my first show. I wasn’t aware of the pre-shit show standard so I just went on. typically, if you miss out on the pre show shit, the feeling will go away once you’re on stage. But, this was different. This was not just a pre-show shit ignored, this was also a natural cycle of life shit that would have happened if I was in my house watching TV. So, I’m up there, struggling through an awkward dj set (that’s what my first gigs were) while trying not to shit in my pants. I’m literally turtle heading for the entire second half of the show. I barely made it through and took the most glorious crap of my life.

F#ck/Marry/Kill Vol. 15

Hey guys, it’s been a while since I fucked, married or killed. No time better than now. Thanks to all of those who submitted the other day. I sued a few of them here and plan on using more in later editions. Anyway, I’ve bought back the “Kill style” thing, where I explain how I’d kill the people…cause you guys wanted it. You guys are fucked up.
Oh and , as always, this is all jokes. Don’t get mad/offended or whatever. While I am answering as honestly as I can, I don’t actually want to marry or kill any of these people. I do wanna a fuck a few of them though…anyway, on with it.

F/M/K:Lisa bonet, Christina ricci, Rosie perez
Now there are two ways to look at this one. It could be referring to these girls in their prime or referring to them right now. Because it’ll make it harder, I’m opting to to pick from the “prime” years.

Marry: Christina Ricci

She actually lives near me so I see her walking around every now and then. First off, she’s unbelievably tiny. She’s also one of those rare cases where a girl actually has gotten hotter as she’s gotten older. In my mind, she peaked in the “black Snake Moan” era. In person, she is very cute (if not off putting-ly small). I think I choose to marry her cause she seems like the least crazy of these three. I’m a fan of sane women and , in a case where all three are very fuckable, sometimes the small details prevail.

Fuck: Rosie Perez

rosie is the least attractive (in the face) of the three women here. But, if you ask any dude who grew up in NY in the 90’s and she has a very special place in our hearts. She was the quintessential puerto rican girl for all dorky white dudes. She was loud, intimidating and way sexier than any of us could imagine to handle as a teenager. She also reminded me of girls from my high school that I always longed for that would audibly guffaw at the idea ever letting my penis anywhere near them. So, for these reasons, I’m taking “White man can’t jump” era Rosie to bed. I’d still be a little intimidated though.
This is a case of sexiness going a long way. And she scared the sperm out of me when I was a teen.

Kill: Lisa Bonet

This pains me to do cause she has one of my all time favorite faces. She’s almost so pretty that it makes me uncomfortable. But the thing about Bonet is that, while she was stunningly beautiful, she never was that sexy to me. She kinda had a boys body and, worse of all, she seemed like a hippie. I can’t play that hippie shit for long periods of time so marriage would be out. At least in this situation.

Kill style: So, i’m afraid i’d have to kill “Angel heart” era Lisa bonet the way only “Angel heart” era lisa bonet would want to go…Voodoo.

F/M/K:sketch comedy shows:
Monty Python’s Flying Circus/Saturday Night Live/Mad TV

Kill: Mad TV

I mean, is it even a question? Mad TV is “In Living Color” for midwesterners. They had a few decent cast members over the years but the eye rolls always out weighed the laughs, in my opinion. Still, it was way better than that horrible ass “Lyricist Lounge show” that MTV used to run. Regardless, I’d kill Mad TV with the quickness.

Kill style: I’d probably just turn off the tv (or change the channel).

Marry: SNL

Listen, this is just what I came up watching. It’s been around as long as I can remember and , even when it’s been through rough patches, I’ve always found something good about it. In a way, it is very much like how I imagine a wife being like. It’s not perfect but you accept it faults as, ultimately , it’s a good thing that you can rely on. Sure, this wife may have whole seasons of shitty one notes jokes but what about the will ferrel years? Or Phil hartman? Those two examples alone would make me never question my vows.

Fuck: Monty Python’s Flying Circus

As I’m not a total nerd, I don’t out and out love Monty Python. While I realize they’re groundbreaking and often have been hilarious, it’s both a hair before my time and a little too british for my taste. That said, they’ve done plenty of amazing shit that I do ,in fact , like. So, I’d fuck’em. Once…or twice. I wouldn’t want to live a life with them but the occasional drop in would always be received with open arms.

F/M/K:Angela Lansbury, Kathy Bates, Sara Gilbert
I hate whoever sent me this one.

Kill: Kathy Bates

This was no easy choice. In a pool of obvious kills, who is the most deserving? Well, maybe “deserving” isn’t the right word. “Who’s the grossest?” might be a better way to look at is. And , well, bates is the grossest. unlike landsbury, she was never hot. And unlike gilbert, she’s like 70 years old. So, I’m afraid I’d have to put her out of her MISERY. Get it? Hiyoooooooooooooo!!!!!

Kill style: I’d kidnap her, tie her to a bed and make her write a book for me. Then I’d make her eat that book. This wouldn’t kill her but I’d make that her only food so she’d eventually starve to death.

Fuck: Sara Gilbert

Listen, I don’t wanna be there any more than she does. We can both close our eyes and pretend to be fucking hotter women. But, she’s the youngest of the group by far and , therefore, the most eligible to me. Sure, she looks like the puppet Madam crossed with a softball catcher but, whatever…give me shit choices and I’m forced to make shit decisions.

Marry: Angela Lansbury

See what I did there? ^^^^^^
Why marry her? Cause she’s the oldest and would die the quickest. Yup. That’s fucked up, right? I have no other reason beyond that. It might be a plus that her vagina has probably been dormant since the 60’s so that would be off the table. Maybe she’s good at baking? I feel like most 80 year olds can bake some shit half decently. Man, I hope she can bake…

F/M/K:Topanga, Blossom, Kimmie Gibbler

Fuck:Kimmie Gibbler

I don’t really wanna fuck her at all but these options leave me no choice. Kimmie Gibbler was MAD annoying but maybe putting a penis in her would calm her down. Like, you know how weed works for hyper active people and makes them almost normal? Maybe a fucking would do that for Kimmie Gibbler. I can only hope it would.

Marry: Topanga

The no-brainer of no-brainers. Topanga was where I think my generation got its appreciation for thick girls. She was a pretty faced jewess with an unconventional full body (for a tv show about white kids at least) that bordered on “Too thick” but was just enough on the right side of things to make every 14 year old boy go nuts. Also, she dated the boy meets world herb (on the show at least) so you know her standards are all sorts of low. Wait, did she date him? I don’t remember. Who cares.

Kill: Blossom

Blossom’s existence as a show always baffled me. She was a busted, uninteresting and a fairly annoying 15 year old girl. I guess there was a “She’s every teenaged girl” vibe there but still, she sucked. I wanted to kill blossom before I even played this game so it’s fitting that i get the hypothetical chance now.

Kill style: Buried alive in floral patterned fisherman’s hats.

F/M/K: Sarah Palin/Anne Romney/Kim Kardashian

Fuck: Sarah Palin

Hey, she’s an attractive older woman and she someone I loath. Why would I not want to hate fuck her? As much as killing her might be the just thing to do, I just can’t bring myself to fuck Anne Romney. She’s mormon. Don’t they fuck with underwear on or some shit? Weird. I also have a feeling that Palin is actually a fun hoe in the bedroom. After all, she fucked former NBA player Glen Rice. How lame could she be?

Marry: Kim Kardashian

This would be a quick marriage. She’s a truly awful person. Like so bad that her breath stinks from her soul rejecting her personality. That said, regardless of what you (IE: Every girl alive) might think, she’s still pretty hot. She’s fake and wears way too much make up but compared to the other two options, she’s mrs. fucking universe. So, the plan here would be to marry her, have as much sex with her as i can until the inevitable blow up and divorce. Not to mention, I feel like there would be lots of money in it for me. Tv shows, a book deal…It might be a good look.

Kill: Anne Romney

I got nothing against this woman except that she’s married to a piece of shit. It’s par for the course when it comes to politicians wives. But I don’t want to fuck her and i don’t want to marry her…So that leaves me with one alternative. I’d definitely wait till after the election though cause I feel like a widower might win on some pity vote shit.

Kill style: I’d make her watch Christopher Hitchens youtube clips discussing religion until she took her own life out of sheer frustration.

Answers for questions vol. 89

Whattup. Back again for the first time but really for the 88th time. The questions keep coming…so I keep answering. If you got more, send them my way. The weirder the better.
Leave them in the comments below or email me them at
Okay? okay.

how the hell are you supposed to stay cool in NYC in the summer? if
you don’t have a car you can’t just simply blast the A.C. and keep it
moving. when you’re out and about you can duck into stores or whatever
and cool off for a minute. but after waiting on the subway platform
for more than 3 minutes its officially game over for not stinking and
having a dry shirt.

It gets pretty brutal here. As a person who sweats a fair amount, I can tell you that july and august in NYC is not the place to be. Many cold showers get taken and not because I’m horny. What I do to avoid the heat is stay inside and blast the air conditioning. Unfortunately, so does everyone else which often leads to blackouts in the city.
Other than that, wear shorts , go to places that have AC. Basically, just do the same thing you would anywhere else it’s hot.

Referencing “bad bitches” is so tired, so ubiquitous, I flinch when I hear otherwise great lyricists say it. What’re the hackiest phrases in hip hop right now?

“Swag” has got to be the most overused phrase right now. When I hear an adult use it (someone who’s my age, not a 22 year old adult) it sends douche chills down my spine. You know “swag” has gotten bad cause pretty soon it’s gonna start popping up in movies and a scene(s) will happen where an elderly person accidentally gets high or something and says “That’s shit is swag!”. Puffy’s old ass saying it without irony was one nail in the coffin. That movie situation will be the final nail (much like it was with Snoop dogg’s “for shizzle dizzle” talk)
I think what I like least about “swag” is that it’s lazy and can apply to anything. I’ve literally seen homeless men refer to their own swag. It’s attitude, it’s a walk, it’s clothing, it’s everything and yet it’s nothing. Fuck that dumb ass word.

your thumb gets ripped off in some terrible accident – it’s gone or so mangled it’s unusable.
but you have the option of replacing it with your big toe, or just leaving it be.
toe thumb or no thumb?

I feel like replacing it with my big toe would only lead to me having no big toe and barely functional thumb. I think I’d just leave it be. As important as a thumb is, being able to walk is more important.
One plus about losing my thumbs is that I could say i did it in protest of Mac Miller’s “Thumbs up” initiative.

I’m an MC (but who isn’t these days?) and I’ve been driven to wanting to produce my own beats. There’s too much garbage, too much drama, and too many people too unbelievably full of themselves to really build up any sort of relationship with at this point. Coming to mind is the local guy – a total unknown – who demanded $1000 to delete a pre-recorded hook in a beat he put out on a mixtape for people to rap over. “Yeah, I still have the files in Reason, but I’m gonna need you to fill out the paperwork and buy exclusive rights to the track before I do anything to it.” That kind of behavior sort of drove me back to the belief of “if you want something done right, do it yourself.”
That said, I have no idea where to start. I’m a pretty competent musician – I can play piano, bass, and guitar proficiently – and I’m not a bad songwriter in most rock genres. I’m also generally surrounded by talented musicians… but… I just have no idea how so much of this crap works. I guess the second part of that is live performance – what’s supposed to happen if you’ve already got your backing tracks and you’re doing a show? Hire some dude with a laptop to stand behind you and play them?
I wish I could just go and see that kind of thing in action, but the hip hop scene in Atlanta is garbage unless you’re some fat dude who screams “swag” over cut-rate dubstep at a club full of greasy teenagers.

Kinda confused as to what your question it, bro. Should you make your own beats? Uh…sure. Why not? I’d say you’re jumping ahead though already thinking about the performance aspect. Make some songs people actually like first. What you do on stage doesn’t matter if there is no one watching you do it. I will say this though, at your level, paying people to do things seems pointless. You shouldn’t have to pay anyone for beats yet. Those people trying to charge are most likely hacks and grifters. Paying for music happens when you can actually make a profit off music and that’s not happening anytime soon. Just find likeminded folks who are down to play some shit. You say you know musicians, I’m sure some are down to jam or whatever. Just make your music first and then worry about the business side of things when it’s applicable

Related to the cute / hot semantics: do you see a difference between a bro, a douchebag,and a hipster. If so, please describe.

Okay…let’s see. I suppose the best way to go about this is to just list them and describe them.
A Bro: This is your typical frat guy, vertical striped shirt at the bar, dressed like all his boys kinda dude who watches tons of college basketball. He’s not a bad guy. He’s friendly. He’s not a smart guy but he will say something funny by accident every now and then over Jager shots. He works out and manages to be kinda fat at the same time. When he plays sports, his face turns mad red. He’s got a life plan that was laid out by his parents and their parents. He gets married, has kids and dies. He’s harmless and useless at the same time. He knows the lyrics to Drake songs and has been to a dave matthews concert. He has drunkenly made out with many girls he met at bars that night but he’s also been charged with date rape.

A douche bag: Unlike a “bro”, a douche bag isn’t so much a genre of person. You can’t just walk down the street and be like “Oh, he’s just a douche bag…” well, you can but my point is there all tons of different types of douche bags. There are bro douche bags, there are hipster douche bags. Every personality type has a douche bag version. Because of this, it’s hard to really pinpoint what makes a person a douche bag. They just kinda are and you know it when you see it. That hipster explaining to you why Michael Bay movies are actually the pinnacle of all cinema while citing black and white french films? A douche bag. That Bro bumping shoulders with strangers at the bar with hopes of starting a fight? A Douche bag. That Hip hop dude who scoffs at the thought of a dj using Serato cause it’s not “real hip hop”? Huge douche bag.
Basically, it’s a know it all asshole who doesn’t realize what a shithead he is. So, I’d say the best way to describe a douche bag is someone who is completely unaware of themselves yet, at the same time, manages to be smug.

A Hipster: This word has spun out of control. And it’s definition depends on who you ask. I’ve been called a hipster. I’m 35 and wear jeans, t-shirts and hats everywhere….but to someone, I’m a hipster. Then, I go out and see 22 year olds dressed like israeli break dancers and think “look at those hipsters”. I suppose Hipsters are in the eye of the beholder. Personally, I view it as anyone who’s uber-aware of current trends and following those trends. For better or for worse cause, as we know, most trend are fucking laughable…but that doesn’t stop some kid from wearing a bowler hat, a sleeveless black vest, some daisy duke shorts (this is a man I’m talking about here) long black wool socks and some rare nike kicks that costs 400 bucks.

Just wondering, did you ever get any douchebags wanting to friend you acting like you guys were good friends after you got well known in the music scene in social media sites like facebook or twitter that you knew in high school/college but hated?

Not at all. First off, I’m not nearly famous enough for that to happen. Secondly, all those people are my age, which means they’d be like 35 trying to get down with me on some weird groupie shit. What 35 year old does that?
The only instance of this I can think of is when I meet someone, they have no idea who I am and then they find out. There have certainly been cases of that and even then, it’s more a situation of that person who was somewhat dismissive of me is all of a sudden really friendly. It doesn’t really mean shit to me though cause , for the most part, I’ve been hanging with the same group of friends for like 15-20 years. I’m not really in the market to make “new friends” that often so it’s not exactly an option for people.

Do you and the basketball fans you know in Manhattan give a shit that Brooklyn is getting a NBA team? Could a rivalry be brewing between these boroughs or could you careless what happens in Kings County? Just wondering what the local vibe is there and in Kings County about the issue.

I haven’t noticed an overwhelming feel either way. I think, as a person living in NYC, most people are kind of excited to have another option for a team to go watch play live. I don’t think Knick fans will be rooting for the nets though. What I do see happening is all the Brooklyn transplants embracing the Nets and it becoming some sort of hipster thing. I’ve already seen their shirts all around town. To be honest, the simple design and colors (black and white) are kinda dope.
Regardless, unless they get good very soon (which is unlikely) , the Nets will always be the second NY team. Like the Mets.

what’s your workflow like?
best part? shitty part?

Erratic. I pretty much work when i feel like it. Unless I’m focusing on something that’s time sensitive, then I’m fairly proactive. I tend to work in chunks. Like I’ll pound out a bunch of beats in a week and then not do anything for a week. It depends how I feel. I don’t really look at anything as a “best” or “worst” part. i mean, I definitely don’t like the preliminary stages of starting a new album cause it’s literally me just mapping out shit and it’s more math than it is musical. That shit is beyond tedious. But, other than that, it’s all good. I’m a pretty quick worker and just obsessive enough that I pretty much finish everything I start.

have you ever taught production lessons? what would you focus on? it’s something i’m thinking of doing.

God no. I’d be a terrible teacher. Aside from my basic impatience , I’m a short cut taking , lazy, learn my own way kinda person. My way is NEVER the correct way to do things. It’s organic, but most of the time it’s totally wrong. I can barely remember what plug goes where to even set my own studio up, let alone teach someone anything.