Answers for Questions vol. 287

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G’day mates! Welcome to another edition of “answers for questions”. You ask stuff and I do my best to give you answers. I’m always in need of new questions so don’t be shy and fire away. You can either email me questions at phatfriendblog@gmail.com or leave then in the comment section below. All i ask is be creative…and weird. It makes it more enjoyable to read and write.
This weeks batch is…educational? kinda sorta.

What do you think of the much-discussed gender binary? Do you believe in masculine and feminine principles, and that rebelling against them is subversive, or attractive?

You must think I’m much smarter than I am or that I read books or something cause I’m not aware of the “much discussed gender binary”…but lemme google that right now…hold please.
Okay…I’m back. Ah…that’s more simple than I expected. I see the word “binary” next to gender and expect to have to figure out equations on dicks and vaginas.
I think it’s become a whole lot of grey area. Just listening to high school kids talk, hearing a 15 year old boy say he’s gender fluid is something that would never have even been thought of 15 years ago. I feel like I’ve discussed this here before but it’s almost as if to simply be a boring straight person is looked upon as lame. Which is obviously a huge shift from how things used to be. I partially don’t believe most of these people are even that “fluid”. Like, the majority of them will date and marry people from the opposite sex and outside of an experimental experience here and there, they’re straight. It’s good that the world is finally caring less about such things cause being persecuted or judged based on who you fuck is ridiculous (assuming both parties are willing and adults) but it’s also in our nature to front. That said, teenagers are gonna do what they do and who’s dumber than they are? No one.
As for the whole idea masculine and feminine principals, that’s changing too. It’s as if both sexes are taking notes from each other with hopes of maybe meeting in the middle. That said, i do think certain things are engrained in our DNA. Men and women are undeniably different. To pretend that isn’t the case is short sighted and not really healthy for opening a healthy dialogue. We, in general, feel and act differently. There’s nothing wrong with that though. One isn’t better or worse than the other. At the same time, it’s not like one day, a new generation of men are going to wake up and just all of a sudden be driven by emotions and deep feeling and women are gonna wake up driven by simplicity and logic. I’m not saying any of those characteristics are specific to either sex but, in general, it seems to be thats the way things lean.
i honestly don’t even know if I answered you question but it seems more like something someone should write a thesis on than I can wrap up in two paragraphs.

how important was “The Music Scene” animated video to your success at the time it came out? I understand it aired on adultswim for a while. Did you have any input on what the animation depicted? It’s a really brilliant video and it’s always the first thing I show anyone who doesn’t recognize your music; the pairing of a dope song with super interesting visuals is something to behold.

I would say that video revived my career. Not like I was floundering and gonna quit before it came out but it reinvigorated interest in what I was doing. Prior to that I was “The guy who made the beat for “daylight” by Aesop” or “The guy who made insomniac olympics”. Both those things were good to have under my belt but they also were from years earlier. When “The music scene” video came out, people freaked out over it. Rightfully so…it’s an insane video. But it also got people looking into my other work and , around that same time, i started booking more tours. All of a sudden, I had new fans (younger fans too) and I would close my set with “The Music Scene”, where as it was always “insomniac olympics” before that. So, yeah…it was a huge deal for me and to this day it resonates. I have someone mention that video to me at every show I do. It’s become a starter point for people to find out about my music.
As for input on the video itself, I had nothing to do with anything. That was all the artist. Which is fine with me. He did a great job and my two cents wouldn’t have helped him at all.

do you watch any cartoons or animated films you’d recommend? I feel like you would have good taste in adult cartoons. Maybe its just a weird assumption.
ehhhhh…I watch some things here and there but I’m not really a guy who seeks it out. Like, outside of South park, there’s no animated show I watch with regularity. I check on Adult Swim stuff sometimes but even that is rare. I’m skeptical of cartoons for some reason and , generally, have to be won over for me to get into them. Even when they’re good (bob’s burgers, archer) I don’t find myself compelled to watch them. Dunno why.

With NYC’s massive gentrification, are there neighborhoods in any of the boroughs that you would not go to because of imminent danger/crime/etc?
Sure. I would avoid going to brownsville or east New york in BK. I wouldn’t go to multiple parts of the Bronx. I’m sure queens got some areas I’d avoid. That said, I’m an adult and that kind of shit doesn’t scare me like it did when I was a teenager. I’ve walked through and hung out in many fucked up hoods in my life…in and outside of NYC. I still felt safer in most of those places than i do when I’m in the woods in the middle of nowhere.
Thing is, there would never be a reason for me to go to any of those places in the first place. Honestly, that’s something that hasn’t changed with all the gentrification. The shitty hoods have always been shitty but they’ve also been removed in the sense that no outsiders really ever need to be in them. The dangerous areas that I went to when I was younger were fringe places. They were the places in the midst of being gentrified. Like , when i was a teenager, the lower east side was fucked up. But I still went there cause there was a reason to go (buy weed, bars, shows). So , that in itself shows the hood was changing. It was dangerous but not so much that I’d be scared to go there.
I wouldn’t have set foot in bed-stuy, BK ten years ago but I recorded my last album there. It’s all about having a reason to be somewhere.

I always love the feeling of nostalgia from listening music that I enjoyed in the past, but I’m curious to know if an artist could get the same feeling from there own music. Are there any of your past projects that envoke a sense of nostalgia when you listen to them? That is of course if you even listen to any of your own music in the first place.

I’m so sick of my own old music it’s not even funny. I pretty much never listen to any of it. I listen to the new shit I’m working on as a means to figure out what I’m gonna do with it but the old stuff? Not often. Every now and then I’ll have a moment where I check out some song I made 10 years ago just out of curiosity. Sometimes it makes me roll my eyes, other times I listen and think “man, how did I do that?”.
One thing that I definitely do is focus on the more obscure songs. Like if I never hear anything from “Music by cavelight” again, I’d be thrilled. But I’ll dig into weird album cuts off “Downtown science” or “Uncle Tony’s coloring book” just to remind myself of where my head was at musically at that point.
But, in general, nope. I don’t go back to my old work. I’d rather move forward than bask in the old shit.

When you drink, do you fill your cheeks and swallow several times, take big gulps, or small sips with small swallows?
Interesting.
It depends what I’m drinking. If it’s water, I take big gulps. If it’s carbonated I will sometimes fill my cheeks. If it’s got booze in it, I take smaller sips. You could say I’m a versatile drinker.

Just curious how the song “Cook It Up” came about, with you and Jer singing. It’s really good!

Oh man…that song. Well, when Aesop was making “Bazooka tooth” I believe “Party Fun action Committee” was already out…or had just dropped. We sang a lot on that and I think Aesop wanted some weird singing on his album. Thing is, neither jer nor I are serious singers. We’re passably okay at best. I forgot about this until recently but Aesop unearthed some demos from that era and played me a song I sang a hook on that I have no recollection of ever even recording. Sufficed to say, it was awful and thank god it never made his album.
Anyway, “Cook it up” seemed like the perfect place for our vocals cause the song was kinda tongue in cheek and I made the beat. During that time, the Neptunes were singing on everything so my performance was clearly an homage to that whole style of falsetto. I think Aesop wrote the lyrics. I may have helped with a word or two but I don’t really recall. But, yeah, we recorded it and that was that. It helped launch my singing career for sure. You might know me by my stage name “Bruno Mars”.

Answers for Questions vol. 286

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Hi there. Welcome to another edition of “Answers for questions”. You guys ask me stuff and I answer. So simple. If you’d like to join the fun, PLEASE DO! Send me questions to phatfriendblog@gmail.com or just leave them in the comment section below. All I ask is you be creative. Be weird. It makes the column better for everyone. I generally don’t skip over any questions but something like “What inspires you?” is getting ignored. Gotta keep it interesting. Speaking of which, this week has some good ones in. Let’s check it out…

What is the scariest experience you’ve had in your life?
Well, there have been varying ones. Seeing people get shot was scary but not in the sense that I thought my life was in danger. It was just fucked up. Being robbed at gunpoint was scary but, again, I never actually felt like I was gonna die. I just gave up 8 bucks and it was over.
Honestly, and I think I’ve told this story before, the most scared I’ve ever been happened in Cape cod, Mass.
My parents had a summer home there and we would go every summer for a month or two. It was a house buried deep in the woods and all the walls were glass. At night, you couldn’t see through the glass at all. So, one night, I was there with my brother, one of my nieces and one of my nephews. There was a baby sitter there too even though I was around 11 at the time.
We were sitting in the living room, just watching tv when we heard a blood curdling scream. Like someone had just gotten their toe chopped off or something. That was followed by the sound of multiple feet stomping through the woods and mens voices, creaming at each other, then followed by the sound of a bunch of motorcycles tearing through the woods. Now, keep in mind, we can’t see shit outside, but our lights were on so anyone with sight could see into the house. Also, these sounds sounded like they were coming from 15 feet outside the house. They were so fucking vivid. and the crunching around in the woods and motorcycles keep going. We heard lots of yelling and what sounded like arguing. Hard to say but it was pretty fucking aggressive, whatever it was. Sufficed to say, we all were freaking out. The Baby sitter too. So, we ran upstairs to my parents bedroom (the only room with a lock on it) and locked ourselves in there. The baby sitter had the number to where my parents were and called them. Like they would come home from some art party 4 drinks deep and stop a motorcycle gang from killing us all. My nephew, who must have been around 4 years old at the time, started just vomiting out of fear. So that was awesome.
Eventually the sounds stopped, my parents came home and everything was fine but that hour or so of sheer terror in the woods was something I’ll never forget. Man…fuck nature.
As some back story, it turned out there was a biker gang who had a place down the road. I never found out what the blood curdling scream was but no bodies were found so i can only assume they were drunk and terrorizing the locals for shits and giggles. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.

If you had to pick one band/performer at some point in history to see live in their full glory, who would it be? Any specific songs or albums? (mine would be the Talking Heads doing this song…
…if you’re interested, although Pink Floyd is a close second

Hmm…That’s a tough question. I’ve never been a huge fan of live music but I also think that’s because I like hip hop and, let’s face it, it’s just not that great live. That said, when I see old clips of certain bands/singers, there’s a purity to their performances that I feel like is lost today. It’s simple and understated. Like, seeing Stevie wonder in his prime would have been insane. But, I’mma go with Donny Hathaway, simply cause I think he’s pretty much got my favorite singing voice of all time and to see him live would be very special. I found THIS clip of just the audio and it gives me chills.

So… here are some tech related questions:
As you’re travelling just by yourself on tour, do you actually have a
backup plan, in case your gear gets stolen, corrupted or just breaks
down (dying the hardware death)? Is this something that frequently
concerns you? Do you carry backups? Do you have backups available online
(for the software), as hardware might be replaceable, if in luck?
I’m asking this, because I’ve been on both sides of the fence for more
than ten years now and with some combinations (especially software with
certain hardware, or cables) I tend to get super paranoid about by now.
This leads me to the next topic/ question:
What was your most horrible stage fuckup, as of now (hardware burning
up, software crashing irrevocably, destroying your session, or even the
venues’ hardware giving up on you)?

Oh great. Tech questions…my favorite 😦
I sometimes bring a hard drive with all the things I need on it but, even if that did work, I’d have to find another computer with abelton and I’d still lose a bunch of files cause some of the clips I use in my sets are simply not saved the right way.
But, generally, I don’t have a back up plan. I realize this is dumb but I can’t be traveling with two computers just in case. It does concern me but I honestly try to just not think about it. In fact, this just reminded me I need to buy a new computer.
One thing I’ve done before is recorded my live set in it entirety. I had it in a wav form and carried it on a flash drive so, worst cause, I could just play that and fake the rest but I’ve never had to actually do that. I’d feel shitty about doing that too but it would be my last resort.
I did have a computer die on me once while touring in russia. My shit just conked out and I was forced to do “dj sets” which was literally me just playing my songs on cdj’s to a crowd of disappointed people. But, hey, it’s all I could do. The promoters were not thrilled!
As for the second part, I haven’t had one of those technical meltdowns on stage yet. Knock on wood. Outside glitches and human error, I’ve been pretty lucky thus far with that.

What do you remember from your American History classes? Did you eat in class?
Nothing. I remember most of nothing from high school in general. Possibly cause i wasn’t paying attention in the first place. For me, school was about getting by. Retain enough info to pass the test and move on. When that’s done, that info got dumped and replaced by hip hop trivia or obliterated by booze, tv and girls. I was a TERRIBLE student. Not only did I not try in the slightest but I genuinely didn’t care about failing. Like, you know how some people have pride and that stops them from just totally throwing in the towel? I didn’t have that. To me, school meant nothing. Getting an f on a test didn’t make me feel bad about myself cause I knew how little I cared. I once got a 24 on multiple choice science final and hung in on my fridge. I somehow got through school though (I was naturally good at some subjects and just bullshitted/cheated my way through the rest) but it’s a wonder I even went to college, if not for just a year.
So, yeah…my knowledge of history is as basic as it comes. And , no, I didn’t eat in class. I doodled and spaced out.

you have to go on a cruise to the Bahamas with a famous comedian, musician, actor, and former president. They’re all coming with you and you’ll spend all of your time together. Who’s on your list? And what would you do to pass the time

Man, I don’t think I wanna take a trip with any of those types of people. Whole lotta misery and ego right there…
Comedian: Patrice O’neal.
He’s just the funniest person ever to me and he’s not a self hating , depressed comedian. He’d probably just diss the shit out of everyone there the entire time and I’d sit back and watch that happen.

Musician: Sammy Hagar
He makes his own tequila and I bet he knows all about that island life. I’m not the type of fan who has interest in meeting my heroes and recognize that most of them, in all reality, were probably very flawed human beings I wouldn’t wanna spend actual time with. So, I’ll go with sammy cause I’m not a fan and I don’t give a fuck about what he does. I bet he’s got some great stories though.

Actor: Jessica biel from like, 8 year ago

I don’t have much reverence for actors. I mean, don’t get me wrong, there are some incredibly talented people out there but it’s kinda like with musicians, I don’t need that curtain pulled back. So i choose Biel cause, well, she’s insanely hot and I’d like to see her on the beach. She seems pretty down to earth too and , honestly, I’d want a female there cause hagning out with 4 strange dudes doesn’t sound that fun to me.

President: Obama

I’m not a history buff and I don’t care about meeting some old president. Obama is EASILY the coolest president ever and I bet he’s be fun to chill with. at the very least, we could find a hoop on the island and play some basketball together. This is a vacation on an island, not a classroom. Why would I wanna sit around picking Abraham lincolns brain when I could literally be doing anything else. I could be eating some soft shell crab and drinking a Mojito. I’ll take that…with my dude, Obama.

What will be written on your tombstone vs. what you want to be written on your tombstone?
I don’t really ever think about it cause, you know, when I’m dead , I’m dead right? Not like I’ll come back and check up on that tombstone and be like “aww man…they didn’t even mention “daylight”!”. So, really, they can write whatever they want. “Here lies Tony Simon, He farted often and never understood the appeal of Star Wars” or “Here Lies Tony simon, He died…shit happens tho”
I’d imagine my tombstone will be no frills. Just my name and the dates of my life. Who knows, if I live long enough, maybe tombstones will be all futuristic and have LED recaps of my life’s greatest moments. Or maybe it will be that but they’ll use it as ad space. Like “Here lies Tony Simon 1976-2048: Buy Lexapro when you’re sad!”
The future is a magical place, guys.

Donald Trump, stripped of his power and wealth has to be sentenced. You’ve been appointed judge by powerful, ethical aliens that want humanity to carry out the task. All they tell you is that it has to be “educational for him, his supporters and everyone else watching”. You might be wondering if the aliens are testing you and humanity with the decision you make. What would you sentence him to?
I think I’d give him a “trading places” punishment. Make him live his life well below the poverty line with the same disadvantages those people have to deal with. See how he’d do with no money or power to fall back on. I’d assume he’d be dead within 3 weeks but, hey, that’s worth it to prove a point, right? Also,So that his supporters could be educated too, it would be filmed and made into a reality series that follows him through his awful fucking life.
I’d also do it in an unfamiliar place. He wouldn’t be broke in NYC. He’s be broke in the Ozark mountains or like some desolate shithole in the Nevada dessert where people die from scorpion stings on a weekly basis. A place where there is little or no hope to ever get out of that hole.
Yup…that would do the trick.

Answers for Questions vol. 285

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Hi! Welcome to a new “Answers for Questions”. THis is where you, the reader, get to ask me literally anything. I will answer it (within reason). So, if you have a question, send it my way: phatfriendblog@gmail.com or leave it in the comment section below. Be weird. Be interesting. this week is full of music related questions and, depending who you are, might bore the shit out of you. Then again, it will be great for music nerds so i guess it works both ways. I’ll let you be the judge.

If you had to try a recreational drug that you haven’t tried by now, which one would it be?
Hmmm…I gotta say, all the drugs I haven’t tried are ones I haven’t tried for a reason.
1)Coke
Don’t like uppers and my heart gets weird when I drink coffee so I’m not fucking with anything like that. Also, having been around so much of it and the people who do it, i never wanna be like them. I bet i’d like parts of it too I just don’t think my heart could handle it.
2)heroin
Don’t like downers and I’ve seen this fuck up too many people to even indulge the idea. Also, any drug that makes you barf is a no go for me.
3)Dust
I smoked a blunt laced with it by mistake once and I’m good on that shit forever.The idea of smoking it on purpose is insane to me.
4)all pharms
I just don’t do them.
5)DMT
People keep shoving this shit in my face but , whenever I hear it described it sounds like the last thing I wanna do. I’m not looking for a life altering experience or to find myself. I’m almost 40.
6)Special K
Seeing people on this shit made me never wanna touch it. but, outside of molly, i avoid powders.
7)Acid
Honestly, I’m scared of it a little cause of how long it lasts. I bet I’d like it , under the right circumstances
8)Sizzurp
I don’t like the feeling of being tired or slowed down. This is like that on 10. no thanks.

So I guess I’d go with Acid. But , at this point, i don’t see that happening.

I know you’ve been asked about your favorite albums, but what are some of your favorite mixtapes? Not by today’s definition of a mixtape, but the kind you would go to canal street or fat beats for.. something that’s actually… mixed. I guess I’m mostly thinking hiphop, but any genre, any time period would do. Thanks!
I was never a guy who bought many mixtapes. I would walk up to the stands with them on the street, look at the tracklisting and be like “Meh”. Thing is, back then, I used to get all my new shit from radio shows. Stretch and bob, Nighttrain, Martin moore’s show and there was one on NYU radio as well. I’d record off the radio and make mixes out of that. In that era, mixtapes would have maybe one song i hadn’t heard/didn’t have already and I HATED scratching. Not in general but that thing where they’d play a song and then scratch the beginning for 3 minutes, bringing back the first verse over and over again. I couldn’t deal. So, i never bought any of them shits.
Nowadays, Mixtapes mean something else entirely. They’re basically albums that you give away for free. Gunplay has made some bangers, Vince staples put out a great one before he dropped his last EP. Hell, Drake’s newest “album” was considered a mixtape and, sorry to all the sad faced underground rap fans but that shit had some seriously dope music on it.

Can you offer some insight into why calling someone out for driving a rental car used to be a diss in 00’s independent rap?

“For the last time, I’m nasty – like Nas was at halftime
You fuckin know it like I know that’s a rental car
Hey sucka poet, whoever ya are” -Sage, Tolerance Level

Slug had a rental car diss in one of his songs as well, but I cant find/remember it.

I wouldn’t say those two songs make dissing people who drive a rental car “a thing”. I certainly never noticed that as a trend. i would say it’s cause rappers clown on each other for being broke but neither Sage nor Slug seem the type to point that out. Especially in the early 2000’s era of “Do it for the love!” indie rap. My guess? They were just random lines in songs that had no real meaning behind them.

You probably get tired of sampling questions. But I’m obsessed with sampling right now and you’re pretty much the only beatmaker whose beats I listen to just for fun (although I’m starting to get into 9th Wonder, but I doubt he’d ever answer questions). So anyway, how do you go about layering multiple samples together? Do you ever get frustrated that you can’t get two (or more) samples to blend together that you just stop trying for the day? It’s something I tried looking up online, but for some reason there seems to be no definite answer. Also, have you ever come to Mexico? I don’t know how many fans you have over here but it’d be awesome to see one of your shows live.

Back in the day, it was different. Before I used abelton (which was around the time I made “uncle Tony’s coloring book”), matching samples was tough cause I wasn’t using time stretching. My sampler didn’t have it so I had to do it manually by manipulating samples. Things wouldn’t match ALL THE TIME. Making a beat was basically creating a foundation and then searching for layers that might or might not work. Trial and error. I usually found some things but there were definitely days it just wasn’t working.
Once Abelton came into the picture, that all changed. I could match most things within reason. Just make the loop and adjust the pitch. Sure, not everything works but most things can be pitch shifted to at least be in key. Whether that works or not remains to be seen (major/minor chords, awkward time signature. dissonance, basic moods not aligning are all reasons a sample might not work with another even though it’s in the same key). So, basically, all you need is an ear that can tell when something is in key or not. If you lack that, i’m afraid music isn’t for you cause, well, that’s like being a chef who can’t taste.

As for mexico, I’ve never been or gotten an offer but I’d love to go one day. if you know promoters, send them my way!

If you could control one aspect of your biological functionality, what would it be? We’re talking exhaustion, tan levels, metabolism, muscle mass, ect.
I wish I could control all those things. Metabolism would be amazing cause then i could exercise sparingly and eat everything I want. Like, say I’m about to eat a huge meal, just flip my metabolism WAY up. Basically, I’m all about food and how I can cheat the system of never becoming a fat fuck.

Hey man, love the blog. I’ve got a few questions about drums…

Do you tend to sample individual hits from different beats or chop into a single loop?

Any great record labels or artists who are great for loud clear drums?

How do you generally layer / EQ your kick drums?

Do you get much use out of any drum machines?

1)I do all sorts of different things. I take hits, I use drum loops, I chop loops.
2)I’m sure there are but I don’t tend to pay attention to that kinda thing. I find most of my drums randomly.
3)I use 808’s sometimes to give the kick more bottom but often , the kick I use will be fine on it’s own. Layering tapped out kicks over chopped breaks gives me the best sound, i find. As for eq, I do it by ear. Just tweak it till it sounds right. I’m not a producer who will sit a tweak a drum for 3 hours. I usually figure that out pretty quickly and move on. Or save it for when the beat is actually being mixed by a professional.
4)I haven’t used any drum machines. i’ve used sounds sampled from them though.

What would be your fantasy cartoon foursome? Feel like a threesome involving only two cartoons wouldn’t really suffice with the whole dimension problem, you’d lose a pretty significant factor of threesomes really wouldn’t you. (Mine would be Rick Sanchez, Larry the Lobster and Aladdin…would be mental)

Hmm…I’m not much of a cartoon person. Especially action cartoons. So, my knowledge is stifled here. But, Jessica rabbit, The hot girl from Archer and April O’neil from Teenaged Mutant Ninja Turtles.

Answers for Question vol. 284

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Hi there. Welcome to Answers for Questions. I’m back home from my two week tour with Eliot Lipp. Thanks to all those who came out on the east coast and down south. We hit the West side early next month. Special shout out to all the people I met who actually read this blog. I was shocked at how many of you there were at every show.
So, as you can guess, this is something where you ask me stuff and I answer it. If you would like to ask me anything, fire away. Send questions to phatfriendblog@gmail.com or leave them in the comment section below. Be creative. Be weird. Don’t be basic. That’s all i ask.
Okay, here is this weeks batch…

What are your thoughts on homeschooling? Have you ever had any weird of uncomfortable interactions with people that were homeschooled?

I’ve only met a few homeschooled people in my life. It’s not exactly a common thing here in NYC. The few people I have met we’re people who moved here from other places , after homeschooling. The fact they came to NYC leads me to believe they aren’t you’re typical weirdo’s you might see on Spelling bee’s and shit.
As for thoughts on the idea in general…I dunno. I’m a person who believes people learn more about life through social interaction than acquired knowledge from books. There’s a difference between knowing facts and understanding other people. Emotional intelligence. I don’t have any studies to prove me right but ,I’d imagine , a child that it homeschooled loses out on many of those things. I mean, general life experience can’t be had if you’re with your family 24/7. Friendship bonds, healthy sexual growth, basic human interaction with people outside of your family. I don’t even wanna get into what agendas the parents might have in molding the minds of their children.
I’m sure there are some good parents doing a fine job of home schooling their kids but, in my mind, it just seems more beneficial to kids to live their lives and learn from experience outside the house. But , hey, I don’t have kids so what the fuck do I know?

How would you react if you found out that someone hung themselves to your album Music By Cavelight?
Jesus dude…you trying to ruin my week?
I mean…if the suicide note read “I killed myself because of Blockheads “Music by cavelight”, I’d be more confused than anything. It’s not an album promoting death. If anything, it’s celebrating the passing of my father in a few songs. I’m of the ilk that feels people who kill themselves and blame one specific thing obviously have much bigger problems than that one thing. So, honestly, I wouldn’t feel bad about it…cause I didn’t have anything to do with it. That person just happened to decide my album was his excuse. It’s never that simple. So, yeah, please don’t kill yourself in general but, more specifically, to my albums. Thank you.

Say one night you met a girl at the bar that you really hit it off with, and you go back to her place. When you wake up your in a small wooden shack outside the city and surrounded by cultists in robes. What do you say do to get them to kick you out of the cult so you can go home? Right now they wont let you go because they think your Jesus, and the girl you met is no where to be found.

Well, the awful question situations keep coming!
Hmm…If I’m their jesus, I’d assume they would listen to me. So I’d probably order them to do some menial task, I’d call an uber and be the fuck outta there. That’s the easy answer.
The hard answer would be: I’d get a lay of the land. See where their heads were out and possibly start a church….here’s the thing…I’d just preach my real thoughts and see how long I could get them to go along with it. Hell, in a week or so, I might have some really chill, Athiest interns as my disposal. If not, they’d probably figure out I wasn’t a messiah and move on…or murder me in some weird cult ritual. So, yeah…I’mma go with option A on that one.

So, it’s been 4 years now. I come back to this article every now and then (as well as the first one) because it’s interesting to read how pop stuff works (from your perspective). I’m not the biggest fan of LDR, I find her a bit repetitive, but different strokes for different folks…

Any thoughts on that from a four-year distance?

Not really. The world seems to be the same. The machine still cranks. Only difference now is that Lana Del Ray probably wouldn’t have happened in 2016 without being from the internet or some other public forum.
I’ve venture to guess pop music has gotten worse and more formulaic in the sense that every song has 15 writers , it has to go through a hellish screening process and the end result is so tested out, it lacks any sort of spontaneity to it. At the same time, pop music has always been like that on some level so it’s not a huge change.

Which holidays do you think would have the highest streaming traffic for porn?

Hmm…National ass to mouth day?
I would guess ones where people don’t go out at night. Like Thanksgiving or christmas. Most people just feast then dissolve into the couch afterwards. I’d imagine , once they peel themselves out of the living room many men will find themselves alone , in bed, with nothing to do…possibly at their parents house (the origin of their masturbatory life) and…there we are. Splooooosh.

What are some of the best “Alternative Hip-Hop” names out there?

Names? As in the best names…not artists, just names? i’m gonna go with that cause the alternate question is too boring.
Oh, you know, MC verbs n’buttah , The vocal lyrical MC worduser, Lil Mr. big stuff, BLVCK White guy, Cloudy Mcfloats the God MC.
That’s just a few off the top. Those are some great names.

Hey Block, I’d like your best guess on some stats. About how many times do you think someone has been listening to your music while doing the following things?
-Having sex
-Rollerskating
-Playing boardgames
-Baking a cake
-Cleaning a toilet
-Doing a backflip
-Tripping really hard
Actually, numbers are hard and not that important. Ranking them would be great. So, the activities in order of how many times someone has done them listening to your music (your solo stuff and anything you’ve produced).

I’ll do both…rank and number.
Tripping: a bazillion times.
Sex: thousands and thousands of times
Boardgames: between 300 and 600 times
Baking a cake: Over 200 hundred, less than 1000
Doing a backflip: I would go low with this but I know a lot of people dance to my shit in weird ways so I’m go with , like, 150 times.
Cleaning a toilet: 78 times
Rollerskating: once or twice ever

Do you worry about clearing your samples or do you kind of just skate under the radar? Your music is very sample-heavy and I know you released Bells and Whistles independently, so I’m just wondering how the sample clearing process went down for you.

I definitely skate under the radar. Thing is, it pretty much eliminates any chance of licensing music, which is a HUGE form of income for artists like myself. So, it’s a trade off for me. I don’t clear stuff (unless i have to) but i also don’t get big $ from song placement of those songs. Such is life, I suppose!

Questions for answers Vol.. 283

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Hi there everyone.
How you been? i’ve been traveling so this is the first time I’ve had a chance to write anything for this blog in a week. You know how that shit go…
Anyway, this is answers for questions. You ask me stuff and I answer it. You got a questions you wanna ask me? Go nuts. Get weird. be inventive. Send it to me at phatfriendblog@gmail.com or leave it in the comment section. I’m always taking submissions so don’t hesitate.
Okay, let’s see this weeks batch…it’s an interesting one.

Good idea or a bad one?
http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2014/09/14/1410717265818_wps_2_Some_places_have_lanes_fo.jpg

Fucking brilliant idea.
You know, walking with your head down , buried in your phone, is one of those things I both detest but , shamefully, will sometimes do. I try my best to not do it. I’ll often stop walking and step to the side just to make sure I don’t do it but nobodies perfect…it happens. The two lane sidewalk thing would fix all of that. In general, I feel we need two lanes for slow walkers who are just floating through life not giving a fuck about other peoples time and space so, yeah, I’m all in on this one. Thank you, China.

Would you rather get a kick in the dick every week for a year straight or never take a nap again in your life?
Oh faithful reader, you thought you had a good one here but you were mistaken.
Without question, I chose the latter. Why, you ask? CAUSE I CAN’T NAP ANYWAY.
Yup, I never nap. Ever. I have a serious problem falling asleep during the day and, at best, I can shut my eyes for a few hours but still be kind of awake. It’s a struggle and I’m certainly jealous of people who have that life skill but this may be the one situations where it actually feels like an advantage for me. You’re basically asking “Would you rather get kicked in the dick every week for a year or continue living your life exactly as it is?”. I think the answer is clear.

When did you know you were straight? Hetero. Serious question.
I mean, everybody at SOME point has probably been like “Hey that guy is really attractive… do I… ? Am I… should I try…?” and then either tried it and realized (either way), or just KNEW. What’s your story?

I don’t think I ever questioned it that deeply. When I came of age where I started being attracted to girls, I was straight. So, I guess I just knew. At the same time, being straight doesn’t mean I can’t look at a dude and recognize he’s good looking. The two things are not mutual at all. Now, if I look at that same guy and think “He’s a good looking guy…I wonder what it would be like to make out with him?” that’s something different but, for me, it was always like “Yup, that guy looks like he probably gets a ton of pussy”.
Also, when I say I never though about it, that’s a generational thing. Sexual identity wasn’t the same as it is today. When i hear high school/college kids talk about their sexual identity today, it blows my mind. It’s as if simply being a straight dude is looked upon as boring and lame. Like I’ve heard all these caveats like “Well, I identify as straight but I have bi sexual leanings and I’m sapiosexual” and that’s coming out the mouth of a fucking 16 year old. My generation simply wasn’t concerned/aware of those kinda of things. Granted, being a gay kid back then was also probably a nightmare so it’s not a bad thing that the tides have turned. But there is a part of me that feels a lot of these kids don’t really know what they are yet and are just saying whatever they feel is cool. I’m very happy that people have more freedom now to live as they want to but teenagers are still teenagers and, you know, teenagers are stupid and full of shit in general. Not their fault though…they’re teenagers.

I don’t know if you already wrote about friendzone but I ask you this: Is it possible to get out of the friendzone or we friendzoned guys are condamned to ethernity?

Is it possible? Sure. “anything is possible”. I’ve had sex with girls I was friendzoned by and it was always a mess afterwards. Like, it finally happens and you’re all excited but, at that point, you’re no longer obsessing over it like you were back when you were locked in that box. It also generally happens after the crush has waned. Like, if a girl seriously has you in the friendzone, you’re not gonna get out of it anytime soon. She’s made the decision that that’s where you stand with her and nothing you can do will change that. Only time can shift things. Not to mention, when it happened to me, I felt pangs of resentment towards the girl after like “Oh, NOW it’s okay?” Which is ridiculous but I was also pretty young and petty so I suppose it goes with the territory.
So, yeah, you could get out but , chances are if you’re really there, by the time you get out, it won’t matter much to you anyway. I guess you could call it bad timing.

You’re a guy who loves food. What are some of your go-to items? What ethnic/regional cuisines are your favorites, and which ones can you not get down with? Are you mainly a meat entree kinda guy, or do you have some favorite vegetarian dishes too?

I do love food and I pretty much eat it all. I am a meat guy and , in general, my main dish will include some sort of dead animal in it. beef and lamb are my go to but I also love pork and chicken so I tend to keep it pretty versatile when ordering meals.
As for ethnic/regional…I eat tons of middle eastern food, japanese, italian, etc…There’s very few regions I don’t like. One thing I’m not crazy about is Thai food. I mean, it’s good and I’ll eat it no problem but it’s definitely never something I seek out. I’m not a huge fan of mixing sweet with meats and I also have a cap on how spicy I can take food so Thai food often kinda plays into my disinterests.
I don’t generally eat anything specifically vegetarian but I do like veggies…especially when they’re next to some meat.

I had a strong experience with your music last night. What did you do this weekend?


Well, I’m sitting in a hotel in montreal right now writing this. I played shows with Eliot Lipp in NYC and Burlington this weekend. I’m tired, mildly hungover and regretting that 3 am kabab I had last night.
Today, we drive back to NYC then head down south to finish our tour dates for this week. Moving and shaking, brah.

Whats the most unpleasant interaction you’v had with another celebrity?
Probably the time marky mark spat in my mouth while we were kissing.
Just kidding.
Hmm…lemme think. I honestly have never been one to try and talk to famous people. My early experiences with it were such that I think I learned that some famous people are assholes/don’t wanna be bothered. I’ve never had a celebrity flat out do anything awful to me. Steve Guttenberg once played out me and my friends outside a club in the mid 90’s but that was actually awesome. We were clowning him cause, well, he was Steve guttenberg but then he walked by us and a girl asked him what he was doing. he looked at us and said “I think I’m gonna hang with these guys!” then laughed and got into a limo with 4 models. He shut us right the fuck up.

The only unpleasant experience I can think of is one I’ve mentioned here before…but I met Q-tip on the street when I was like 15. He wasn’t even famous yet. This was before “Low end Theory” had even dropped. My friend and I went up to him and he gave me the most “yeah whatever son…” pound I’ve ever had in my life. It was just super dismissive and made me feel like shit for even saying a word to him. But that’s as bad as it’s been. Th secret is to not put yourself out there too much for celebrities cause, in general, they don’t give a fuck about meeting you and that is how you taint your idealized version of your heroes.

Would you rather have sex with a mermaid or a reverse-mermaid?
I suppose it depends what the head game is like, right? i can’t exactly bone some gills.
At the same time, as much as I like a beautiful ass, I doubt I would be into boning one connected to a fish head. I’mma take the normal mermaid just cause the other way would be to weird.

Answers for Questions vol. 282

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Sup yo.
Welcome to another edition of “Answers for Questions”. you guys ask, i answer. I can always use more questions so don’t be shy. Fire away. Send any questions to phatfriendblog@gmail.com or leave them in the comment section below. Be weird. Be creative. It helps make this column more readable.

Also, I will be heading out on tour tomorrow with Eliot Lipp. East coast, west coast and some southern dates as well. For more info on that, here are the dates in one nifty flyer:
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It also means I’ll be slacking on this blog for a few weeks so, you know, if that’s the type of shit you care about…my bad, b. Duty calls. hopefully I’ll find time to fire off a few updates a week but who knows?

I am in the worst fucking female slump in my life. Real shit, I’m either getting no love, or it’s some lead you on/bait and switch bullshit. My question is, have you ever been in an extended slump with the ladies, and if so, how did you get out of it?

I’ve had one truly long slump in my adult life (6 months) and it was due to me trying to get over a girl. So, in a way, it was self imposed. At first is was me not even trying and having no interest but, as that part waned, I just found myself out of synch in general, when it came to meeting girls. During that time, I must have been emanating “loser”. It was in my 20’s and it was like a perfect storm of no pussy. My ex deaded me. All my regular hook ups got boyfriends. All my friends were in relationships and the internet was not what it is today. It seemed hopeless. I’d like to say there was something I specifically did to get me out of it but that’s not true. Truth is, I met a girl who was down to hook up with me and I hooked up with her. There was no pep talk or self help maneuver. It simply finally happened. i will say this though…getting that action put me right back in the game. Like, that following week, the flood gates burst open and it was like a whole new ballgame. It’s funny to think about cause the scent of desperation must really be a real thing to girls. I think the best way to get out of a slump is cross your fingers and hope you find a girl with a shitty sense of smell.

How do you keep from eating terribly while on tour? I imagine it is easy to get fat living that lifestyle.
I don’t…i eat like shit on tour. Especially if I’m flying a lot. My recent tour in europe had me having a meal a day in an airport for 10 days. You where it’s hard to eat healthy? Airports. Especially when you lack any self control and figure “eh, fuck it…” when deciding on meals. Sure, i could get a gross airport salad and a banana for lunch but…fuck that…I’m eating another burger cause it’s there and being in a airport is torture enough.
I’ve been on some tours where you eat healthier than others. Tours that are driven definitely make that possible. Stops at whole foods and all that shit. It also depends where you’re touring. Down south or the midwest is always gonna be harder to find healthy food that isn’t gross while touring the coasts are a little easier.
In general, I just try to eat GOOD food. I love food more than…well…anything…so, when I’m in a city, i want to eat a good version of whatever that city is known for. BBQ, Sushi, a local sandwich, etc…
It’s not healthy but neither is being sad cause you’re hungry all day. That said, it is a wonder i’m not the fattest man on earth at this point.

Do guys really cum in to gym socks, then keep those socks around under their bed so they can use them again later? Or is that just a thing from the movies? Why? Doesn’t this cause more problems than it solves? Soooo gross!

I’ve never done that in my life cause I’m not a savage. More than that, i’m aware of these things called “tissues”. They’re great. It’s , soft, thin paper made for collecting unwanted fluids from the human body. They even can be flushed down the toilet. It’s truly a great time to be alive during a time when tissues are available to wipe cum off of things with.
I’m sure some people bust nuts in socks. Seems like some shit you do when you’re in high school, disgusting and too lazy to simply not cum in a sock. That was never my bag though .

Do you think that Common & Laura Dern are really dating or is this just a baseless rumor? I hope it’s true haha.


What? Is that true? I haven’t seen a thing about it but, judging from Commons choice in pants the last 5 years, it’s totally plausible.

How do you view the impact that soundcloud has had on the music industry? Both as a musician who posts new content and as a listener who is able to connect with fans of music you like yourself. Do you find that you are better able to reach prospective fans, or do you think it promotes a sort of “tunnel vision” sequestering you to a specific genre of both music and people?

As an artist, I have no problem with Soundcloud. I wish I had made a profile sooner, to be honest. It’s simply a great way to share music. It also is cool cause sometimes you need a platform to just put random shit out. Not things you wanna sell or not full albums. Just a song or remix here and there to keep fans paying attention between projects. Gotta keep them appetites whet.
As a fan, I love it cause many of the artists I fuck with are fairly obscure but have soundcloud pages they are diligent about. So, i get to hear new music by artists I like all the time. That’s a pretty cool concept, compared to the days of simply waiting on albums or guest appearances.
The music industry is so far beyond a point where sales matter that a site like soundcloud isn’t hurting anyone. It’s promotion. There are tons of artists who got a name off of there and now have sustainable careers.
As for the “Tunnel vision” point, I don’t quite understand. There are all sorts of artists on there. Every type of music. If you wanna find some polka on soundcloud, you can. If you want norwegian death metal, it’s there too. So, really, it doesn’t promote tunnel vision at all. That’s entirely up to the person using it.

I don’t watch reality television (it just isn’t something I find very interesting), so I’m in no position to assess them, but after x-number of years being on tv, there are still people who incessantly bash on the Kardashians. I’m wondering what you think of people who shit on the Kardashians as if they murder babies for a living?

Here’s the thing about the kardashians…they are awful. Like, really…with the exception of Khloe, they all just seem like despicable , vapid human beings who are a glaring example of many of the things wrong with american culture. So, i get why people have such vitriol towards them. That said…it’s out fault they’re successful so , perhaps, we should look inward a little and take some of the blame. No one makes people watch that show, buy their products and put money in their pockets. If people stopped caring, they would go away. Like, when’s the last time you saw paris hilton on TV? Sure, she’s still rich but no one is giving her money for being on TV at this point. For every kardashian, there’s some other person just like them who didn’t blow up. Like that weird blonde teenager who married that old dude then got a few shows on VH1. She’s basically doing porn at this point cause people care so little and she needs to make money. That could have easily been Kim Kardashian but it wasn’t…So here we are. Well done, guys!


Hey Block, big fan here. Do you spend much time pondering some of the bigger questions in life? Such as: why are we here? how did existence come to be? does anything matter?

Never. Like, literally, not ever. What’s the point? I don’t have an answer. No one does. I try not to spend time thinking about things of that nature that I have no control over. To be honest, I’m not even curious. We’e born, we live, we die. That’s about it. Sure, we’re all beings and have our own minds. We live our lives differently etc…but why are we here? Cause our parents fucked…and their parents fucked…and their parents fucked X100000000.
Instead of worrying about that kinda shit, I’d rather just try and be a decent person while I’m here. It’s really that simple.

Answers for Questions vol. 281

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Howdy yall, I’m back from an interesting weekend in Miami. Did a show at a festival and got offered DMT like 5 times. I politely declined cause, well, I’m old and not trying to do DMT anywhere, let alone with a bunch of random 20 year olds at a music festival. But, the thought as appreciated guys! It’s just not my thing.
Anyway, this Answers for Questions. You ask, I answer. I’m always in need of more questions so think of something weird and fire away. Send them to me at phatfriendblog@gmail.com or leave them in the comments below. Be creative. We’re 281 volumes deep here. Time to go off the script, if you know what I mean.
Okay, let’s check this weeks batch…

Say you think of all the people you’ve had sex with in your life. If you had never known any of them and had to go by a picture only, which % of them do you think you would swipe-left versus swipe-right? (does this question make sense??)
This is such a good question and one I have thought about a lot since joining tinder last year.
Here’s the thing, the nuances of attraction are often lost on tinder. Some girls will look amazing on there then be mediocre in real life while some look “meh” on there and then you see them in person are are shocked. There’s no telling these days. But, if I’m going off of just pictures of girls I’ve slept with in my entire life…I’d say I woulda swiped about 75% of the girls I’ve actually slept with. Funny thing is, there are a few in that 25% that I’d probably consider the hottest I’ve ever had but they just weren’t that photogenic or their attractiveness didn’t translate as much on film as it does in person. I mean, there are just some people you meet that you’re overwhelmingly attracted to. They don’t even need to be traditionally hot but they have “something”. A twinkle or maybe just pheromones. At the same time, an obviously pretty girl can become unattractive easily just by being lame or shitty. It works both ways.

People probably try to shake your hand or give you a dap at shows. Have you every been in a situation where you had major reservations about any individuals? Maybe you actually see them do something gross with their hands, or you just get a bad feeling about it, like you don’t know where they’ve been?

What do you think about the handshake custom? Is it good, or should we have already evolved to something better?

Nah, I haven’t had that Larry David moment where I see someone pick their nose then extend their hand to me. I will say that, after a show, where many hands have been shaken, I come back to the hotel and wash my hands. When that happens, I’m appalled but the dark shade of water I see being rinsed off onto the sink. People are filthy. I’m glad I’m not one of those purell addicted OCD types but I definitely try and not put my hands near my eyes or mouth until I’ve washed them, if I’ve been shaken random peoples hands.
As for the handshake custom, I think it’s a good greeting. Only thing is , every region has their own version. Out west the do the slap and bump. Out east , we give pounds. Middle america is a total dice roll. I never know what to expect so I’m often just opting for the proper old timey hand shake so there’s no confusion. If I had a dollar for every fist bump I’ve accidentally left hanging , I’d be rich enough to retire. I almost feel bad about it and never do it on purpose but, at the same time, I think the fist bump is corny in general so maybe I do do it on purpose.

What do you think about rappers rapping over vocal tracks on every single song when they play live? How is that acceptable for every song? Probably the worst offenders I have seen are LA The Darkman (he said his laptop was lost on the plane so he had to use a CD), Vince Staples (no excuse), Future (no excuse).

What about rappers lip synching? My friend made me watch a Tech N9ne DVD once, and I swear he was actually lip synching half the time. What’s up with that?

I think it’s pretty fucking lazy. We live in an era where making an instrumental version of your song should be a given. I know that Tyler the creator was the first guy I saw do it but I also think , at that time, he literally didn’t have foresight to think he’d ever perform those songs live so he didn’t make instrumental versions. I’m sure he does now. But dudes like Future? Come on man. You’re the biggest rapper on earth right now, surely someone got the instrumental tracks for you.
I’ve never seen lip syncing rapper before and I’ve heard Tech 9 is actually impressive live so perhaps he was so good , you assumed he was lip syncing? Cause dude is kind of a brilliant technical rapper.

I just remembered something from like 10 years ago. I was at a party and said something in conversation about a David Bowie song which I think is dope. Some other guy there who I wasn’t even talking to started popping off shit about David Bowie’s personal life and told me that I like “faggot music”. It seemed like they wanted to fight me for a minute, then they left the room just to get away from me like I had the flu or something.

When is the last time someone in real life ever sincerely talked shit to you about your taste in music? How can you even react to this?

I talk about my taste in music all the time. Definitely haven’t had someone tell me some shit I like is “faggot music” ever really. That dude seemed a touch, I dunno, misguided?
The only time I talk about music and get backlash in on here and twitter and, even then, I truly don’t take anything people say to me about it. I have a more, confident and snobby “get on my level” take on it. Like “Oh, these dudes are still into boring boom bap revivalist rap? Okay then…”.
But in real life? I don’t find many people talking shit to me about music taste…cause i got good taste! hahaha

If you had to play a song repeatedly for your neighbors to hear over and over and over again, which song would you choose?
I have one neighbor who blasts music all fucking day long. It’s a mix between gay dance music (he’s a gay dancer) and salsa (he’s latino). But it’s relentless and it’s literally never been a song I like ever. There was one point where it got so bad (music blasting from 9 am on a saturday until 2 am that night) where I got fed up and just put on a playlist of old gangsta rap, put my speakers up to his wall , blasted it and left my house. It was on for about 5 hours and when I got back, it was silent. He didn’t play shit the rest of that day. So, i felt a small victory. So, I guess my answer would be “Goin out like A G.O.” by the geto boys cause that’s what I set the playlist off with. That era of rap doesn’t have much low end to rattle the room but it’s got those mid frequencies that will seep through and get truly grating after a while.

Have you ever wiped your ass with your non-dominant hand? If not, are you willing to try? The reason I ask is because my friends have not tried it yet I feel as though it’s an experience. I recommended it to them and they refused. Who is at fault here?
Little know fact: I don’t wipe at all.
Just kidding.
Umm…i have actually done this when I had an injured right hand. Much like jerking off with your non-dominant hand it was a struggle. If truly does feel like someone else is wiping your ass, while your hand feels like it’s wiping a strangers ass. Not the most dope combo of sensations. When I did it, I was very careful and probably less thorough than I normally would be…but it got the job done.
Who’s at fault? No one. Why wipe with your off hand when you have a perfectly functional hand that you can trust? If it’s “for the experience” of it, I suppose but do we really need to experience that? it’s cleaning your asshole. Not exactly something you sit and savor. People climb mountains and go sky diving for the “experience”. Wiping your ass with your off hand isn’t exactly living life to the fullest.

In the last few months I’ve been interested, but mostly concerned with different examples of “Mandela Effects.” Most notably, my reality was kinda fucked when I learned that a personal childhood book series favorite, the BerenstEin Bears is actually spelled “BerenstAin Bears.” I’m kind of leaning towards dimensional timeline shifts and what not. Like it fucks me up some times and I have to get drunk. I peeped out some other examples that resonated with me but I’m mainly trippin on the Bears. I know you’re the level headed type.You familiar with this sort of shit? Do you even give a fuck? Thoughts, theories, fears, remedies?

I am the level headed type so it’s impossible for me to give a shit about any of these things. I’m also someone who’s a lazy speller so hearing the correct spelling for the “Berenstain bears” did nothing for me. I too thought they were a family of jewish bears but, hey, i guess not. My childhood is still intact despite this mild spelling issue. It’s not like we all just found out “Winnie the Pooh” was actually “Winnie the wet dump”. That would be a mind blower.
I’ll be honest, when the who B. Bears thing was unleashed I had no fucking clue what people were talking about it. I read an article and still didn’t get it. Seemed to me that people just kinda clung onto the relevance of the story cause it had to do with their childhood but, in reality, it was a spelling guffaw. Who cares?

Answers for Questions vol. 280

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Hi there and welcome to answers for questions. You ask’em, I answer them. So very simple. If you have any questions you’d like to ask me, fire away. Email them to me at phatfriendblog@gmail.com or just leave them in the comment section of this post. Be creative. Be weird. Think outside the box cause, I can assure you, I’ve answered “What inspires you?” and “What kinda sampler do you use?” a billion times.
This weeks batch is primarily from one guy. One sick in the head guy who likes to make ma answer fucked up questions. But, hey, that’s why we are here…so I salute him.

How many 7 year olds do you think you could take in a fight at once?
Hmm…depends on how vicious they were. Like, If I picked the fight and was in control of the situation, I bet I could take about 6 or 7 of them but if they all came at me , specifically to end me, maybe 4?
Also, are these big kids or maybe some malnourished children? All these things come into play.

If you could only eat meat from one animal for the rest of your life, which are you going with?
I’ve thought about this question before and I really can’t ever commit to an answer. Pig or cow. I always lean towards cow but then I think about pork ribs and bacon. But, you know what, time to man up. I say cow. I guess it’s got a wider variety of options and , really, few things are better than a good steak.

How much would someone have to pay you to go an entire year with no internet or TV?
A shit ton of money. I don’t think I could even function in life without the internet. Like, my job depends on it. Emails, sending files, promoting my music, etc…
If I did it, it would basically be career suicide so I’d need enough money to live off of for the rest of my life. Millions and millions of dollars.

Same question as above, but to live in a cabin with no electricity or running water? You’ve got enough food/water for the year, and it’s warm enough that you won’t freeze, but you have nothing else.

Millions and millions of dollars, again. Here’s the thing, I’m a man of comfort. I will let a crowded train pass if it means I can get a seat on the next one. I will fly into a city a day early if it means not having to take an early flight instead the following day. Taking money for living in hell for a year just isn’t worth it to me. We only get so much time on this planet and throwing away a year of my life to live like caveman? Fuck that. Money is great but I’ll take my current situation and financial status over that every time.

If you went to jail, would you kill a pedophile to keep from being raped if you had to chose one of the two?
If those are my only choices? Probably gonna have to dead the kiddie diddler. On paper, I’d say yes but the reality of actually murdering someone might not be in my DNA. Like, I don’t even like killing mice, let alone another human. That said, I also probably REALLY wouldn’t like being raped (Just an assumption, but a fair guess) so , hey, you gotta do what you gotta do. At least it would be a pedophile and I would have some sort of rational to that.

Forced to chose at gunpoint, would you punch a 10 year old girl in the face full strength, or drown the world’s cutest puppy?
I’m a “human first” person so I would reluctantly go with drowning the puppy. I realize that my punch wouldn’t kill the little girl but I couldn’t do that to a child of any sort. The puppy drowning would be awful and probably scar me for life but I could move on from that eventually. Replace “puppy” with “cat” though and WHERE DO I SIGN UP?!?! Your questions are fucking demented , dude.

If you had to fuck a non human, what animal would you choose?
Probably that dead puppy I just drowned. Just kidding.
I mean, I suppose a really pretty monkey would be the closest things right? I feel like I’ve answered this question before and said some huge animal that wouldn’t even feel me inside of them but, thinking about that now, then it would take forever for me to finish. I’d need an animal that I could get in and out real quick to make the experience as quick as possible.

What are some of you favorite comedy movies?


Oh, hey, whattup boring ass question!
I’ll forgo the obvious step brothers, apatow and borat kinda movies.
Some of my low key favorite funny movies are Macgruber (possibly the best film ever made), Team america, The Gentleman Broncos, The wolf of Wall street is a genuinely amazing comedy film. A lot of the christopher guest movies. Gremlins 2L the new batch. Umm…I dunno…i’m going blank on others. There are plenty of old movies I loved but I feel as though they haven’t aged well. Like, Revenge of the nerds was my shit but I doubt it holds up that well now.

Do you like music by many artists that are openly homosexual or who many people assume are homosexual? If so, which artists? Why do some people get so hung up on this type of shit when it comes to their own musical taste?
I don’t think about that…ever. If an artist is gay why would I give a shit in terms of how it effects they music they make. Anyone who cares about that is a fucking moron.
As for gay artists, shit, I dunno…Like I liked Queen. I think Elton John has some good songs. MC lyte has some joints. I can’t say there is an openly gay artist that I think it’s my favorite but there are plenty of gay musicians who make great music.

Answers for Questions vol. 279

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I just slept for 13 straight hours after getting back from europe and only sleep 7 hours over the course of 3 days. 13 fucking hours. Holy shit. I needed it. Thanks to all of you who came out. The shows were awesome. so much love and the turnouts were great as well. If we took pics together post them on my facebook wall and join the ever growing bock of people with me at shows: https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.570798189621477.1073741830.135369443164356&type=3
Annnyway, this is Answers for questions. If you’d like to join the fun, send me questions! either email them to me at phatfriendblog@gmail.com or simply leave them in the comment section. Go nuts. be weird.
Now, lemme wipe the eye boogers away and get to this weeks batch.

You’ve touched on this subject in some ways before, but I’m really interested in what you think of what’s being called the ‘outrage culture’? It seems like anytime anyone posts anything on social media these days, it’s about what they’re pissed off about or what in their opinion is wrong with the world. Like with all things, there’s a positive and a negative impact of such a phenomenon. The positive being that this general outrage could be the motivator for big changes, and maybe it’s what the world has needed all along. The negative is that the internet is just full of noise of everyone sharing their opinions, and nobody really taking actions beyond letting everyone know what they’re mad about. What do you think of this change? Have people always been this way, and the internet is just now giving them a voice? Or, are pissed off people influencing more and more people to be pissed off about stuff?

It’s a mixed bag of good and bad. I’m glad people who would normally not have a voice are now allowed to speak and people are actually listening. That said, the majority of this “outrage” is generally petty bullshit aimed at jokes. People getting mad at jokes , to me, is the biggest waste of time on the planet. I mean, a week rarely goes by where I don’t tweet something then erase it cause I worry about the backlash it might cause. AND I’M ME! imagine if I were a comedian. The outrage culture has entitled everyone to mold the way they hear and see things into their own little ideal world. Everything is a trigger warning. Basically, our ego’s are being coddled at all times and it’s only making us weaker as people. It’s being done for a greater good but I don’t necessarily think that’s a good things. I think allowing people to think every thing they do is “great!” all the time and trying to make us all think “we’re all exactly the same deep down!” is hazardous. Cause, well, not everyone is great. Not every voice needs to be heard. Do you know how many people are fucking idiots? MOST OF THEM. The internet has allowed those fucking morons to have as much of a voice about things they know nothing about as people who are actually educated in those fields. Also, we aren’t all the same. As much as someone would like to tie a bow on america and make it seem like it’s a happy like country where everyone agree on things like sexual politics, racial issues , etc…those things aren’t going away. I’m obviously on the far left life of those issues but I’m also from a major city and was raised to be like that. Not exactly the norm of america society.
My feeling about the outrage culture is everyone thinks they matter. They don’t. Everyone has an opinion. They do. But if Janis dumbfuck from “little shittzville” middle america watches Beyonce at the super bowl and somehow is offended by a musical performance…that’s janis’s problem. it shouldn’t be ours. Back in the day, she would write a letter to the tv station that would end up where it belongs, in a pile that no one cared about. Real revolutions could be taking place right now. A massive changing of how we think but “outrage” over entertainment? Suck my dick. I don’t wanna hear. That said, you have all the right in the world to feel that way. the media just has to stop giving any weight to every person who get upset about some banal bullshit. Good luck with allllll that though cause this stuff is only getting worse. Orwells 1984 is not to far away. Word policing is already here. I’m just waiting for the all grey outfits and the screens with john hurts face on it telling me to keep walking.

you’ve written several times about weird and uncomfortable interactions w fans at shows. but have you ever had a blog reader get too familiar? like submit questions for answers and ask for dr. tony advice and submit demos and leave comments and constantly tweet at you? if you didn’t keep submissions anonymous, would it expose any phat friend stans? this is my 4th or 5th question for answer, but i’ve never done any of the other stuff. do i qualify as a phat friend stan?

I don’t look at them as phat friend stans. they’re just regular readers. In general, I appreciate them cause they keep asking me questions that leads to me having content. In most cases, they’re good natured and “get it” so it’s not a problem. I got a few people who constantly comment on my facebook wall though that I feel are completely insane. They legit worry me. Their comments are generally off base and just seem slightly deranged. I also a have a few people who tweet gibbersih at me with some regularity but i don’t really pay them any mind. Most cause , well, how can i respond to gibberish?

What are your thoughts on people being “addicted” to their devices? I don’t see the problem as long as an individual knows when to stop staring at the screen and give their attention where it’s required.

Also, is wu tang really for the children?

Definitely have been accused of this. I have this OCD thing where if I have an alert, I gotta get rid of it. So, If I’m at a dinner and I see a text pop up, I legit have to fight myself to not check it. God forbid it’s a group text that has like 5 people rattling off texts a million a minute. I have literally had to mute conversations just so I could get through a meal cause, if I don’t, i will lose my mind and just check every vibration my phone sends me. It’s bad.
I think, in general, we are all pretty bad about this. I can complain all day about dudes walking and texting, blocking up the street but I’d be lying if I said it hadn’t been me before. We are a phone obsessed culture. That’s why out parents look at us with such disgust cause they JUST missed the boat on that and truly don’t get it.
Wu tung isn’t really for the children. Unless you want your kid knowing that ghostface’s dick is “thick like a great adventure cigar”.

Have you seen “The Breaks” ? I thought it was really good!
I watched it. It was cute. I think the thing that impressed me most was the music selection. They dug WAY deeper than I expected. It wasn’t a new story and had similar issues other shows/movies about that era had had (trying to fit too much shit in and cover too many bases. having to have a down”white guy” as an integral part of the story) but I wasn’t mad at it. Sure, I coulda live tweeted it and clowned the fuck out of it but the truth of the matter is nothing like that will ever get made that feels 100% real. So, all things considered, they did a fine job.

Somehow I feel like this question might have been asked, but here goes. If you could be any body part on a female, which would it be? Same question for a male. Also, if you could be a body part on an animal, which animal and what body part would it be?

THe Pussy, dude! I’d just wanna get fucked all the time and when I got my period! woo hooo!!!!!
nah…obviously, i would never wanna be a vagina. Ever.
Okay, here’s the thing about this question…what is like to be a body part? Like, being a leg would be useful but would I have thoughts? Probably not. I’d say being a breast would be mellow. Every now and then I get rubbed but for the most part, I just hang out.
For a guy? being a dick would actually be okay cause that’s basically what we are anyway. Dicks are like our compasses. They’re dumb and have a terrible sense of direction but still, they do guide us more often than not.
What animal would i be? A bird would be cool cause, you know, flight. I would be a falcons beak. Why the fuck not?

If you met yourself from the future, how would you know it’s you?
I’d probably look about the same. I haven’t aged THAT much in the last 20 years. I mean, obviously, I’m older and not as pure as i once was but I haven’t had any great physical fall off. Old, saggier skin…probably in the same cloths. I think it would be easy to spot me, to be honest.

You’ve had some people play bass and guitar on your albums. Do you play any instruments too?
This is one of those FAQ type questions. I don’t play any instruments. I can figure things out on a keyboard but thats about it.

Answers for Questions vol. 278

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Hey guys! I’m writing this from a hotel room in Moscow. Time no longer exists to me. Sleep is a concept, not a real thing. But, still, I’m loyal to this blog. So, I’m doing it! This is “Answers for questions” You guys ask me stuff, I respond honestly. so simple. If you’d like to join the fun, go for it. Send questions to phatfriendblog@gmail.com or simply leave them in the comment section below. Get weird. Be interesting. it makes it better for all of us.
Let’s see what we got this week. Lots of focused , nerdish questions. Whelp, okay!

RAPID FIRE!
– What would you do if making music for a living stopped paying the bills? / Do you have a retirement fund?
I have no idea. It’s something I think about as I continue to age. I’ve been good with my money and i own a home so I’d maybe get involved in some sort of business like a restaurant or a bar. I do Not have a retirement fund though.

– What would your job have been if you couldn’t make music for a living?
Some bullshit. All my jobs prior to music were service industry or places a record store. I’d imagine I might be bartending. Honestly, I’m a college drop out. I’m not exactly trained for anything. In a dream world, i’d be writing for something comical but you know, that’s a best case scenario.

– You seem pretty laid back. What irritates you the most on a daily basis?
Inconsiderate people and slow people. They can often be one in the same. But when I see someone who’s clearly only thinking about themselves, it’s makes my blood boil. And people who are slow are just an extension of that. They’re basically like “Oh, you’re time is important to you? How about go fuck yourself cause the world begins and ends with me and my personal clock”. Side note: I’m the promptest person of all time.

– Do you have a favorite country to visit while touring?
I feel like I haven’t visited it yet. I loved Australia (and I’m going back this fall) but I’d like to see Spain and maybe Iceland. To be honest, I travel so much that leaving NYC is never something I really feel like doing for pleasure.

– If you had to go on a 2 week vacation with Adele where would you go?
Probably some fancy island where she would pay for everything. I bet she’s fun.

– Who are some of your favorite visual artists?
Truth be told, I don’t really follow that world. i grew up around the arts and it numbed me to it at a very young age. I can barely even appreciate it outside of a passing “Oh, that’s cool!”. There are tons of great artists out there, I’m just not really paying attention.

Why were hip hop drums so terrible in the late 90s early 2000s? Don’t get me wrong I love some 80s and early 90s drums and I love the sound and variety of today’s drums but drums across the board from underground d to main stream(with some exceptions) in the late 90s and early 2000s were very simplistic and weak. There was no knock. And I say this Looking back because I am talking about songs from an era that were important to me (I am 32. So like my HS era). Was it because of equipment of the era? People making there own kits and not sampling? Or was it just a shitty trend?

I don’t know if I agree with your opinion but I think what you’re referring to was the growth in popularity in synthesized drums sounds, versus good old break beats. I contend that both have their merits. People stopped using break beats or chopped up parts of breaks and started using sounds that came from certain keyboards. It made of a cleaner, less authentic feel. I think some of it worked fine though. It was when people started dabbling with 808 kits (aside from miami bass music from the late 80’s/early 90’s) on a larger level. Southern raps emergence played into that. I dunno…i think you can make dope drums with any thing if you use them right.

You have answered sampling questions before but do you have any insight as to why sampling keeps going away and coming back? I know sampling started to fade out in the late 90s because of lawsuits and the popularity of Swizz beats and Timbo. But I am confused as to nowadays it seems that Record labels could pay for samples and Indy artist couldn’t. And now record labels rarely clear samples unless you are Kanye. But Indy artists still sample tons of records I notice. Do Indy artists just say fuck it, because they figure they won’t get sued? For the record I much prefer sample based records.

It goes away cause it is both dangerous and a money pit. When you sample, you cannot license the song to tv or commercials. That’s where a lot of money comes for people making beats. Even if you do clear the sample, the writer of said sample will get the lions share of the money so it’s kinda pointless. However, it comes back because sampling is timeless. People will always like a nice samples loop. Any time a major artist releases a song with a sample, it becomes a hit. “Hotline Bling” is a perfect example. As for indy guys still sampling, it’s cause they don’t clear shit and just keep their stuff under the radar. Only people on a major stage have to worry about getting caught or , even having enough sales and radio play for the owners of the sample to notice, let alone deem them worthy to sue.

I’ve noticed that you seem to be less ‘nerdy’ than most of the emcees you’ve worked with or around (Aesop, Slug, EL-P, Vast Aire, Illogic, Murs etc) does this affect your social dynamic or interactions at all?

We’re all nerdy on some level The type of music we make kinda dictates that. Even something cool like “Run the Jewels” is still kinda nerdy at it’s core. And that’s a good thing. Nerdy just means being obsessive about something. it could be star wars or it could drums machines. We all got our “thing”.
In everyday life, i’m not really a nerd type though. I’m socially comfortable. I like going out. I like doing things. I play sports. Not saying those other guys don’t but being a nerd is not something I’ve been accused of in my day to day ever in my life.

Could you beat Rhonda Rousey in a fight?
Fuck no. She’s beat the shit out of me. I’d last maybe 4 seconds before I tapped out or just cried.