Well played , Amsterdam


so, i’m over at a friends house today and he shows me something he bought while in Amsterdam. it’s a HUGE butt plug in the shape of a lawn gnome. the picture above really doesn’t do it justice. it’s as big as a new-born baby and weighs about 10 pounds.
now, i could be off that this is a european thing , cause lord knows, the US of A is not slacking in the “rubber things you can jam in your asshole” department. however, i have a feeling it’s a euro specialty cause, apparently, gnomes are a big deal over there. who knew? anyway, it got me thinking of this time when i was 15 i was in Provincetown (a small town in cape cod known for its huge gay population and it’s many portuguese immigrants). i was with my girl at the time. we were walking around and happened upon a sex shop. being curious teenagers, we ventured in. What we saw was mostly stupid novelty toys for “Adults” until we happened upon the wall of dildo’s. it was extensive. big ones , small ones, curvy ones, clear ones. they had them all. But what caught my eye was the rubber fist. it was a flesh colored fist that cut off midway up the forearm. the forearm itself was very thick. the fist, while small for a fist, was still much bigger than anything that should ever be inside a persons anus. it was kinda like a toned down Popeye arm with the fist of drew Barrymore on it. at the time, i didn’t really get it. fisting was not exactly a hot topic in the locker room at high school. we barely had “seeing boobs” down , let alone considering the elasticity of a human’s sphincter and how far we could push it. so, kinda befuddled by the existence of this rubber fist, i asked the counter guy
“so, do people actually use this?”
without pause he responded
“oh, of course. i know guys you can just punch in and out of there like it’s nothing.”
I don’t think i’ve ever been the same since.
now, that fist was about 1/4th the size of this anus gnome. I’m really hoping it’s a novelty cause the thought of that being inside is simply too much for my brain to handle. way too much.
all i can really do is tip my hat to Amsterdam. you guys must have the loosest assholes on the planet. props.