Conspiracies maaaaaaaaannnn


I don’t believe in much. I’m not a religious man. I’m not even a spiritual man. I just kinda live under the assumption that things , often of a random nature, happen till we eventually die and become food for the earth. Anything beyond that isn’t for me to figure out.
Part of thinking like that is accepting that the universe is bigger than me. I don’t mean that in a “there’s a higher power” kinda way. I mean literally it’s bigger than me and the tiny little existence I live in. For all I know, we could be living inside a molecule of some dogs dingleberry on a planet a bazillion times bigger than our entire universe. Because i feel this way, I tend to not get caught up in things that I have no control over. I don’t disregard those who do, but it’s not for me.
Put it this way, I’m not about to #Occupy anything, but good for the people who do.

I bring this all up cause I wanna discuss the lunacy behind certain types of conspiracy theorists. People who, against all reason and commons sense, find a way to take something fairly simple and turn it into something that would take 100 Al Qaeda networks to even begin to plan.
Now, some of these conspiracies, I can get behind (in the most uninvolved sense of the word). Like JFK’s shooting. I don’t know shit about it. I’ve never watched a special on it. I honestly don’t give that much of a shit about some president who died before I was born. However, the concept of someone covering up an assassination attempt on a President of the US seems plausible. Did it happen? No fucking clue. But it’s something that COULD have happened.

Or, did man walk on the moon? No Idea. I wasn’t alive. i’d like to think he did. After all, this happened before photoshop and the internet. I suppose it’s possible he didn’t but, again, I don’t really give a shit enough either way to even bother thinking about it.

Then you take something like 9/11. The fucking insanity I’ve heard about what REALLY happened makes me want to fly a plane into a drum circle. First off, as someone who was there and watched it go down, felt the earth shake when the buildings feel and heard the sounds…there’s no discussion. Terrorists hijacked planes and flew them into buildings. That happened. People died in those planes. The plane that crashed in that field in Pennsylvania really crashed and people reported what happened while on the plane. THAT HAPPENED.
You say that to a conspiracy theorist and they’re like “That’s what they TELL you , maaaaaaaan! What about Building #7?!”
Honestly, I don’t know what happened to building #7. But you know what? Neither does the fucking guy who watches youtube clips all day about building #7.
I’m also pretty certain our president, as terrible as he was, didn’t pull some crazy inside job on his own country killing thousands. Pretty sure that didn’t happen, bro.

The funny thing , to me, about people who are proponents to that kind of thinking is that they always bring that “You’re not hearing the real truth…” shit up. And they may be right. It wouldn’t surprise me that the news lies. Of course they do. But the lengths they go to make sense of things is unbearable. It’s just amusing to me that some dude who knows how to use google and watch a documentary , can dub himself an expert on the inner workings of the government. Especially when all they do is smoke weed all day. Being a conspiracy theorist is for people who’ve got way too much time on their hands. Time + boredom + pot + being slightly delusional = The guy who says shit like “Nahhh maaaaaaan, The planes that flew into the towers were droids! They had missiles inside of them but no people, maaaaaaaaan!”

I recently met this dude in Texas. Totally nice guy, very friendly. I genuinely liked him as a person. But he was a pretty hard line conspiracy guy. I’m not really argumentative in general, especially about things I’m utterly uninformed about. So, whenever I meet conspiracy guys, I just kinda nod and say “that’s nuts!” until they stop talking about whatever bullshit they think happened. This dude put me on to something that was so comical to me that I feel like I must share it.
We were driving round Texas and he pointed out all these exhaust trails in the sky left by planes. He claims “they” have been doing that in Texas for decades as a way to slowly poison everyone and keep us unhealthy. The exhaust has metals (or some shit like that) in it that both fuck up the breathing air and , when they finally fall to the ground, they poison the soil below.
When he was telling me this, I was just floored. I mean, our government does some shady shit. It’s no secret that politicians are , by and large, terrible people. But poisoning the people of texas with plane exhaust? Unless that exhaust falls into the #3 value meal at Arby’s, i think that’s a bit heavy handed.
Just the thought that this dude actually believed the government would go to such lengths just to slowly kill people and make them unhealthy is hilarious. Like they’re sitting in a boardroom going “We’re too healthy as a country! ESPECIALLY TEXAS!Let’s fly planes over Texas that emit small doses of poison over the span of 30 years and we’ll…umm…keep the population down…or…umm…you know…just drop poison on people cause…well…we can.” I don’t even know where to go with that cause that makes no fucking sense no matter how you slice it.

The thing is, if some of these theories are true, what are we gonna do about it? Occupy something? If shit is that deep, it goes so far beyond the reach of you or me that even thinking about it for a moment is a waste of time. Even for a stoned hippie dude sitting on his couch watching the history channel…and all that guy has is time.

Listen, life isn’t X-files and it isn’t 24. I don’t doubt there are all sorts of bad things happening behind the curtains of the government at all times. But pick your battles. Think logically and understand that the world isn’t out to “get us”. The world isn’t out to get us cause the world doesn’t give enough of a shit about us. Big difference. After all, we’re all just molecules hanging from a shit bubble on a dogs asshole in space.