Demo reviews Vol. 10

Hello everyone. Back again for the 10th time. Reviewing all the demos you guys have submitted to me. To all those asking, I’m not accepting new submissions at the moment but I plan on making an announcement next week when I will once again open the flood gates. The flood gate opening will be brief so , to those who have been asking me or those who’ve sent me demos during this non-submission period, I’d keep a close eye on this blog, my facebook page and my twitter. Then, and only then, will I accept them. Also, to those of you who have submitted and never got your music reviewed, it’s cause my computer died and a ton of my files got corrupted. Including a folder with a bunch of the submissions.
As for the reviews themselves, As always, take what I say with a grain of salt. My opinion isn’t the end all of anything and I have a very particular taste for sure. SO, no hard feelings, all right guys? Cool.
All the demo’s are rated from 1 to 10 in these categories:

Artist: PHDJ
Song:5 Seasons
I’m actually a big fan of song he sampled as the main loop.
That’s a dope song. So, that part is cool and the drums are decent but the layering has some serious problems. I like the ideas of what the producer is doing but none of them sound in key. It’s just lining shit up that’s the same BPM, completely ignoring if they different parts sound harmonious with each other. IF you’ve read these reviews before you know that’s pretty much my biggest peeve. So, stop doing that. If you’re unable to tell when something is or isn’t in key just by hearing it, music may not be your calling. Or make free jazz. They don’t mind it as much.
Production: 3 out of 10
Listenability:3 out of 10
Originality:4 out of 10

Artist: C Gatsby
Song:The Spot
I gotta say, the tags used on the soundcloud page are pretty fucking hilarious. That said, This is an interesting little electro jam. I like the sounds he uses and the drums are right in the pocket. As for the vocals, I’m not clear if they’re original or if they’re just lifted from some random acapella. Regardless, they’re pretty forgettable but they work over this beat.
Production:6.5 out of 10
Vocals:4 out of 10
Listenability:6.5 out of 10
Originality:6 out of 10

Artist: White Moons
Song: Black coffee
This is the trip hoppiest of all the trip hop. The foundation starts off cool but nothing really happens after that. The drums are kinda weak too (but that may be on purpose). I dunno…it just doesn’t go anywhere. It would make a good thing to build off of though.
Production:4 out 10
Listenability:4 out of 10
Originality:3 out of 10

Artist: Lost soul
Song:What you do to me
This is one of those tracks that’s probably really good for what it is and I simply can’t tell cause it’s not really in my wheelhouse. It’s certainly got a cool vibe to it. I could see this being the soundtrack to movie scene where a guys walking in slow motion through a club after standing in the rain. That guy is most likely german.
Production:5.5 out of 10
Listenability:5 out of 10
Originality:4.5 out of 10

Artist: Funny Death
Song: First Love
This is a pretty and mellow joint. It’s also pretty mellow. Definitely some heroin shooting music. I like the sounds he uses and the weird drum sounds are on point as well. My only complaint would be that hi-pitched talking in the beginning. I don’t know why people do that but it’s way too common. Please, make it stop.
Production:6 out 10
Vocals:1 out of 10
Listenability:6 out of 10
Originality:5.5 out of 10

Artist:Sol Zalez feat. Phace and Gentum
Song: Invincible
Finally some fucking rap! I understand that I have a lot of fellow beat makers who read and submit to this blog but I can’t stress enough how much i prefer hearing rap. I actually feel like I know what I’m talking about with rap so reviewing it is easier.
Oh, so this song…hmm…it’s pretty mediocre. The track is super middle of the road and the first two mc’s are not bad, but also not at all interesting. I think the last rapper is pretty dope though. I’d like to hear more verses by him. Also, this song suffers from “terrible hook” syndrome.
Production:4 out of 10
Vocals:4.5 out of 10
Listenability:5 out of 10
Originality:3 out of 10

Artist: Yae-ko
song: On top of clouds
This one wasn’t really ready to come out the oven. Not that it doesn’t show promise but there are certain aspects of it that sound amateurish to me. The drums being the worst culprit. Factory setting drum sounds are never a good look. The vocal samples are fine (as I’m certainly not opposed to vocal samples of foreign languages) but the music simply leaves a lot to be desired.
If i can digress here for a moment, and I’m not singling this song out when i say this ,but I feel like music would be a lot better if , when people finished a song ,they asked themselves “Do i think a person will want to actually listen to this?”. I realize art is about creation and all that, but it would save a lot of people a lot of time if more musicians thought about that every now and then.
Production:3 out of 10
Vocals:4.5 out of 10
Listenability:4 out of 10
Originality:4 out of 10

Artist: Mcardona
Am i crazy or do a bunch of this weeks submissions sound kind of the same? I mean, i can tell them apart but the over all mood of most of these are slow, electro, melancholy shit. This one fits right in with the rest. It’s just as non-offensive yet not interesting as the others. I feel bad not having more to say about these types of tracks but you guy gotta understand, I don’t listen to this kinda stuff. My range of emotion concerning these types of tracks goes from “meh” to “That wasn’t bad”. This wasn’t bad. So that’s good , i guess.
Production:5 out of 10
Vocals(if applicable):n/a
Listenability:5 out of 10
Originality:3 out 10

Artist: The unibroz
This has a mixtape quality. Mostly cause the beat is like a mash up of different famous songs. The rapping is pretty entertaining. He’s got one of those effortless flows that i tend to like. That said, he could certainly tighten it up a little. Overall, this is a fun song that i wish had a different beat and was recorded a little better.
Production:2 out 10
Vocals(if applicable):5.5 out 10
Listenability:5 out of 10
Originality:3 out of 10

Artist: Kev Duce
song: The Machine:Flip it up
This is okay. The beat is nice but also a pretty played out sample.But, still, it’s a head nodder. I don’t really love the rapper. He’s not bad at all, but he’s also not doing anything special. I’d say that’s a common problem with about, i dunno, 98% of all musicians, so don’t feel that bad about it.
Production:5 out of 10
Vocals(if applicable):4 out of 10
Listenability:5.5 out of 10
Originality:3 out of 10

Okay, now you tell me which one you liked the most:

The demo review: Now accepting submissions.


Earlier this week I had an idea that could benefit both of us. That idea was to review peoples demo’s. The response was enough that I figured we could give the idea a whirl. Now, this is the type of thing that could come back to bite me in the ass cause , even without asking, I always have people sending me links to their shit regardless. The fact I’m now asking for it scares the shit out of me but , hey, I do it for the love of Phat Friend. I need content and you need validation. It’s funny how that works.

So, here’s the deal…If you’re a musician, rapper, producer, ect…Send me your music.I will review it. But before you do that, please read this whole thing as there are rules and guidelines I need you to follow. Now, keep in mind, the review might be one sentence or it might be 3 paragraphs. It really depends. I’m expecting the majority of the reviews to be “Meh” but that’s more about me than you. Now ,before you start flooding my inbox with music, I want to stress some things,

1)Send me one song. in case you glossed over that, let me repeat…SEND ME ONE SONG AND ONE SONG ONLY. You can do it via bandcamp, soundcloud, a spare mp3 or upload site. I don’t care what form it is , as long as I can share the link in the review and it is one, solitary song. I’m not here to sit around and listen to your entire concept album on how water is like blood in the veins of the earth. Send me what you consider to be your best song that most exemplifies what you’re about musically. If you do not abide by this rule, I will not only not review your music, I won’t even listen to it.

2)My reviews will be honest. And, honestly, I don’t like lots of music. Meaning, I’m very likely not going to like that you send me. I know this sounds pessimistic but in the 15 or so years I’ve been doing this, I’ve almost never gotten a demo that was legit “good”, let alone great. So, keep this in mind and know that you’ve been warned. All butthurt people will be ignored. All that said, I will be fair about things. i’m not doing this to rip apart your dreams…I’m doing it give constructive criticism. I don’t know you. I’m not your buddy who you get high with. If anyone’s gonna tell you the truth, it’s me. But know this, my expectations are extremely low.

3)Genre-wise, know that , first a foremost I enjoy rap. So, if you’re sending me dub-step, I’m pretty sure I’ll hate it. If you’re sending me some instrumental hip hop types shit, while i’ll be able to tell you why I think it’s either good or bad, don’t expect a rave review either cause, to be honest, I don’t really listen to that kinda thing. The ceiling of my enjoyment is low. Rock music? Sure. Again, I can’t say I’ll have much to say about it but if you”re dying to know what a guy who isn’t into the genre of music you make thinks of your music, who am I to stop you?

4)Just some basic guidelines: When sending music, send it to my email (, title your email “Demo review”. That way it won’t get mixed in with the unsolicited demo’s I get all the time. If your demo is put in the comments below this post or doesn’t have that header in the email, I will ignore it. Be sure to tell me your name as an artist and the name of the song. If you wanna throw in a couple of sentences about your music , feel free but it’s not that important. Honestly, if you write me some earnest shit about your “Art” and I end up thinking it sucks, don’t be surprised if I use what you wrote against you in the review. So, you know, be cool.

I’m sure, if this goes well, I will add more rules but, for now, that’s all you need to know.
So, yes…send me your music. I’m asking for it and look forward to hearing it. Who knows, maybe I’ll discover the next huge underground talent the internet has to offer. I’d bet my life that I won’t but, hey, you never know…good luck!