Behold my childhood art Vol. 3

It’s time once again where I let you into the mind of the weird little kid that was once me. These drawings ,and all the volumes prior, we done by me between the ages of 8 and 10. As you will see, I was not exactly a prodigy when it came to drawing but I was a huge fan of Garbage Pail kids.

“Ann Tek” (pronounced “Antique”)

First off, for a lady, Ann is missing some serious curves. But that might have to do with all that partying she does. I mean, come on! she literally has got a lampshade on her head. She must go hard in the paint. It’s funny cause it kinda looks like Darth Vadar out of his outfit but with his helmet still on, looking behind himself.

Simple. Effective. Why waste time on two word puns when you can just drop a one word banger. While he may look like the peanuts character Pigpen, he’s actually just a walking muff , before I probably knew what a muff was.

“Hippie Harry”

Look at this piece of shit. No shoes, no shirt, no problem. He’s smoking a big old joints and is seemingly being circled by flies. Why? Cause hippies stink. Even I knew that back then. They apparently also all wear headbands. I’m curious what I based this portrayal on but , you know, sometimes you just know what you’re talking about without really knowing what you’re talking about. Even as a child.

“Tourist Ted”

Living in NY, you become acutely aware of people called “tourists”. Those out of towners who come to times square and eat at Ruby Tuesdays for a week. Back then, I don’t think my grasp on this concept was as refined as it is now. Judging from this drawing, I thought tourists all wore two watches, they were glasses wearing nerds, they had shorts on (I can only assume that’s what I was trying to get across) and they strived to not be considered tourists. Now, that last one might be kinda true in a deeper sense of the people who move here from other places and attempt to just fit in like they’ve been here forever. Good call, 8 year old me.

“Disinagrat dan” AKA Disintegrate Dan

This might be my favorite of the batch. How fucked up is Dan? All that’s left is a torso and half a head. I’d like to think this was inspired by that scene in “Robocop” once where the toxic waste dumps on that dude and then he liquifies once a car hits him. Or, maybe I was just in science class that day and learned what disintegrate meant. Regardless, I feel like there’s a movie in there somewhere. The man who’s body just keeps disintegrating. Kinda like Benjamin Buttons but way more disgusting. All you movie executives out there, you can have that one for free. You’re welcome.

And, to finish this all off , here’s a weird drawing I did of all characters from Sesame Street , if they were in a disgusting , drug abusing rock band. No clue what spawned this one but ,whatever it was, it was epic enough to inspire a two page fold out. So, pardon the lack of continuity. You’re just going to have to imagine what they would look like if they were taped together.

It’s a pretty awesome insight into my idea of what rock bands did. They all smoked, they all frowned and Grover was suicidal.