“I sucked my own dick” Vol. 2

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About a month ago, somehow the topic of men performing oral sex on ones self came up. It’s always been something that I assumed no one really did but, like so many other things, it turns out I was terribly mistaken. Apparently, dudes do it all the time. Granted, most of them are feverishly horny teenagers (I’d imagine a casting call for “I fucked a pumpkin” would yield similar results) but still…more than I expected. To me, it’s never been something I’ve even considered. Beyond the idea of having any dick in my mouth (including my own), the flexibility or comfort of the act just seems too difficult. So, i put out the question on social media. “Have you sucked your own dick? Tell me about it…”. Within 3 hours I had like 4 or 5 responses. The first three I posted about HERE. I wasn’t even planning on doing two volumes of this but, fuck it, I had three left over and it’s not like this who concept is any less compelling than it was a month ago. So, dig in and enjoy my interviews with 3 guys who put their own penis’s in their mouth and sucked.

Interviewee #1
Are you straight/gay/bi or other?

I am straight. I did make out with the one openly gay kid in my rural high school once in an effort to make sure I wasn’t blocking something I might enjoy out of my life because of social norms, but as it turns out I just really dig females.

Had you sucked another persons dick prior to sucking your own?

I had never sucked another person’s dick prior to sucking my own, nor, in fact, had I had my own dick sucked. I received my first blow job from myself.

Was the stretching part of move difficult and did it inhibit your movement?

The stretching was incredibly difficult. I was about 15 at and was on the wrestling team at the time, so I was the most flexible I’ve ever been in my life, but it was still a monumental task. I’ve always been a pretty skinny guy, and my dick has been about 7” erect since puberty, but it was still so hard to get that fucker in my mouth that I almost gave up several times. I eventually succeeded by lying on my back, stacking several pillows under my head, then throwing my legs up over my head such that my knees touched the ground on the other side of it. While this did achieve the primary goal of getting my dick in my mouth, it set the stage for a terrible blow job given that I couldn’t really move my head or hips and could only even get my hand on my dick with great effort.

if you’re a straight man, do you think you intuitively knew how to suck a dick just based on what you’d seen and knowing what you like?

I am now 30 years old, so when I was 15 internet porn was practically nonexistent (or at least not feasible to view via dial-up), and I had never had my dick sucked before, so my entire concept of what a blowjob was supposed to be came from the three or four Ron-Jeremy-as-a-fit-young-man-era Betamax pornos I had snuck from my Dad’s stash. I had no fucking idea what I was doing.

Did you do it more than once? If so, how many times

I did it only once, because it turned out to be sincerely unpleasant and exponentially more difficult than the well practiced and reliable act of jerking off.

How would you describe your dicks taste? and did that taste linger in your mouth well after the deed was finished?

It tasted like mildly dirty salt – like someone wore a pair of socks for, like, 30 minutes, dipped their feet in the dead sea, then wrung the sock out and poured that liquid on a fat man’s finger then stuck it in my mouth. The texture was the weirdest part – I could only really get the first three inches or so in my mouth so there was this extremely taught skin towards the back of my mouth then the foreskin was right around the tip of my tongue and lips, so the contrast between the two was pretty strange.

Did you cum? If so, where? In your own mouth, in your face or elsewhere (please specify where)

To this day I’m not really sure how I managed to cum in this terribly uncomfortable and unsexy position with no visual aids, but I did. I came in my own mouth. Eventually, when I realized that my head had no range of motion, I slid my right hand up into this human pretzel I had created and was able to get a few fingers wrapped around the exposed shaft. I only had about 1/2” range of motion in my hips and another 1/2” range of motion in my wrist, so I kind of fucked my own mouth through my hand in shallow thrusts until I came.

I didn’t particularly even want to come in my own mouth, but there was no other option as I didn’t have the range of motion to pull out or really move at all. That taste was horrible, and I have always sincerely thanked women after blowjobs because I remember the terrible consistency and feeling of that moment and understand what a sacrifice they’re really making.

Are you good at sucking dick?

Perhaps I would be if given a sexual preference for men and a dick to suck that was not my own, but based on the evidence at hand: absolutely not.

Do you consider sucking your own dick a homosexual act? please elaborate why, either way.

Not at all. If giving myself a handjob multiple times a day for my entire post-pubescent life isn’t a homosexual act, then putting in the (ultimately misguided) effort to step my self-pleasuring game up by sucking my own dick certainly isn’t. We all want to fiddle with our own dicks, and how we decide to do that has no bearing on what we fantasize about while we do it.

Did you feel any guilt about doing it afterwards?

I felt no guilt, and no regret either, just general unpleasantness as I realized I had a mouthful of my own cum and was in a position that it would turn out to take almost 20 seconds to maneuver my way out of. I think we (men) all know how sometimes you get all wound up about something sexual, then in that moment after orgasm you’re like “wait, what the fuck did I just do and why did I want it so badly?” It was that.

Do you feel as though you give better head to yourself than any other person (male or female)?

I have only gotten worse head once or twice in my life, and each time it was due to a painful accident of some sort; hit a pothole during roadhead type shit. On the whole, my first blowjob, the one I gave myself, was the worst head of my life.

Have you told others about this?

I have told many, many people about this. Probably not in as much detail, but that’s only because they weren’t asking the right questions I guess. In fact, the only reason I was aware of your interview request is that a friend sent me a screenshot of your twitter post asking for volunteers with the words “DO IT” underneath.

I’d be surprised if anyone who knows me well read this interview and didn’t know exactly who you’d been talking to.

Would you recommend this to your friends?

I would absolutely recommend getting interviewed by Blockhead about blowing yourself to any of my dick-bearing friends. However, I cannot in good faith recommend blowing yourself in the first place.

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Interviewee #2
Are you straight/gay/bi or other?
Straight.

Had you sucked another persons dick prior to sucking your own?
Nope l, was about 12 when I was able to do it.


Was the stretching part of move difficult and did it inhibit your movement?
It took about two weeks to get close enough to just barely touch it, and a month to actually get past the head.
It fucked my back up so bad I had to go to the chiropractor for weeks afterward.


if you’re a straight man, do you think you intuitively knew how to suck a dick just based on what you’d seen and knowing what you like?
Na, it was terrible. I felt more like I had a dick in my mouth than my dick getting  sucked. Whackness.

Did you do it more than once? If so, how many times
A few times. Didn’t really thrill me so I gave up.

How would you describe your dicks taste? and did that taste linger in your mouth well after the deed was finished?
Like a salty finger.

Did you cum? If so, where? In your own mouth, in your face or elsewhere (please specify where)
No, it was painful and awkward just to do it.

Are you good at sucking dick? 
Horrible.

Do you consider sucking your own dick a homosexual act? please elaborate why, either way.
It’s like masturbating with your mouth and also your neck feels like it’s gonna snap.

Did you feel any guilt about doing it afterwards? 
I don’t know the meaning of the word.

Do you feel as though you give better head to yourself than any other person (male or female)?
I perform way better in the prone position.

Have you told others about this?
Only close friends and strangers when I’m drunk.


Would you recommend this to your friends.
Absolutely not.


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Interviewee #3
Are you straight/gay/bi or other?

Straight

Had you sucked another persons dick prior to sucking your own?

No

Was the stretching part of move difficult and did it inhibit your movement?

Yes, absolutely. I laid on my back, on my bed, and curled my pelvis towards my head, with my head resting against some pillows. Essentially, the weight of my body was resting on my neck and shoulders. I was able to get the head of the penis and about 1/3rd of the shaft into my mouth; not much room to move my head or neck, and definitely no deep throating. I basically had to put in some serious work with my tongue and lips in order to get the nutt.

if you’re a straight man, do you think you intuitively knew how to suck a dick just based on what you’d seen and knowing what you like?

Yeah, it’s pretty intuitive. Since it was my own penis I was sucking, I could immediately tell what felt good and what didn’t, so I kept going with what felt good.

Did you do it more than once? If so, how many times

Only twice. After the second time, I had gotten over it. It loses its mystique. The position you have to be in is pretty uncomfortable; it’s way easier/more efficient to just jerk off. Sure, it was kinda fun and crazy to have my own dick in my mouth, but it didn’t feel THAT good. I’d way rather have someone else suck my dick or just give myself a handjob.

How would you describe your dicks taste? and did that taste linger in your mouth well after the deed was finished?

It tasted kinda sweaty. I don’t remember the taste lingering. I’m pretty sure I briefly washed it before the sucking commenced. But yeah it tastes pretty much like having any other body part in your mouth. Lots of skin.

Did you cum? If so, where? In your own mouth, in your face or elsewhere (please specify where)

The first time I came on my chin. The second time, I ALMOST came in my mouth, but I chickened out at the last minute and came on my chin. I immediately regretted this decision, because I thought the story would be way more entertaining if I nutted in my own mouth, and I was also genuinely curious as to what it feels like to have nutt in your mouth. So at that point I figured I had already gone as far as to suck my own dick, what’s the harm in tasting some cum? So I picked the cum up off my chin with my hand and put it in my mouth. It was very bland, not much flavor at all. When I told my friends the story, I modified it and said I nutted in my mouth. That was a lie. It made for a better story though.

Are you good at sucking dick?

Not really

Do you consider sucking your own dick a homosexual act? please elaborate why, either way.

No. Think about it: if you’re a man, masturbating is basically like giving yourself (a dude) a handjob. Does that make masturbation a homosexual act?

Did you feel any guilt about doing it afterwards?

No. Right before I did it though, there was a brief moment where I thought “is this gay? should I feel weird about this? does this make me gay?” But I quickly *came* to the conclusion that it’s my own body, so I can do whatever the fuck I want with it, and if I wanna suck my own dick, I will. I’m not homophobic whatsoever, and I’m pretty secure in my sexuality, so I didn’t see any reason to feel bad about sucking my own dick.

Do you feel as though you give better head to yourself than any other person (male or female)?

Absolutely not. Like I mentioned before, my accessiblity was extremely limited. Although I did get instantanous feedback as to what felt good and what didn’t, so I suppose that was a slight advantage.

Have you told others about this?

Yes

Would you recommend this to your friends?

It’s worth a shot. Who knows, you might like it! But I’m assuming 99% of my friends wouldn’t be physically capable of sucking their own dick. But hey, try it out! Maybe you’ll be able to do it. It makes for a good interview on a blog run by a niche hip-hop producer 😉
(no shots fired, I love your music and this blog.)

Check out this unreleased track “Sunny” I did.

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My new album , “Bells and whistles”, is coming very soon. So soon, I can taste it. November 18th, it will be released digitally pretty much everywhere you can get music in that fashion. A little further down the line, there will be vinyl (Early 2015 at the latest).
For now, here is a song that is not on the album. This is just a little something special I whipped up for you guys cause I love you. I mean it. I’m in love with you. Will you go steady with me? Take my hand. Walk with me. Lets feed some swans in a pond and talk about our feelings.
Anyway, there is a story behind this song. This is a mash up of about 12 different versions of the song “Sunny.” I did it cause I got mildly obsessed with the song a few years ago and sought out as many covers as I could find. I knew I couldn’t make it an official song (because the song is so famous) so I started doing the mash-up live in shows. I’ve been doing a variation of this in my live set for a few years now and it always goes over really well. Figured I’d do a version of it for people to check outside of my shows.
Also, while I got you here, check this interview i did with my peoples over at the Passion of the weiss. We talk about my new album, gentrification in NYC and my basketball game.
http://www.passionweiss.com/2014/11/05/question-in-the-form-of-an-answer-an-interview-with-blockhead/
And here is “Sunny”:

The porn Star Questionnaire: Angel Del Ray

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It’s been a minute since I’ve done one of these and it’s a shame. Not surprisingly, it’s the most read column I do. Why? Cause dudes love porn. I’ve asked Asa Akira and Kristina Rose these same questions over a year ago and EVERY DAY they’re still one of the most viewed pages on this blog.
Go figure. The amount men want to read about what girls think about sex, especially porn actresses, is crazy. So, for all you dudes out there, here’s another one. This time around it’s Angel Del Rey. She was kind enough to take the time and answer my really annoying questionnaire with honesty and patience. If you’d like to know more about this lovely lady, follow her on twitter https://twitter.com/YOLAWNDUHSANDY. She’s newer to the game than the past interviewees so this is a slightly different perspective. Enjoy…

THE BASICS
Blah blah boring….but neccesary.

Name? (porn name, we don’t want creeps finding out your info)

Angel Del Rey

Age?
22 as of October 5th

Height?
5’4

Where you from?
Los Angeles

ABOUT YOU
Let’s get to know you.
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Do you read much?(I’d ask what books but I don’t read shit so I don’t really care)
All the time.
I love reading.

Do you watch a shit load of TV? If so, what shows?
Well I don’t have a scale to compare to, shit comes in different sizes so I’d say I probably watch a couple of series on television such as Breaking Bad, The Walking Dead, How I Met Your Mother, and I can’t think of much

Do you watch porn on your own time?
No, only when I’m not having sex do I need porn, which is almost never.

What kind of music do you listen to mostly?
This question has almost every music genre in here.
I also can’t just throw music into genres because there’s so many different styles thrown into one song.
But I grew up on classic rock.
So I’d go with that one.

How often do you exercise?
I exercise I’d say never.

Can you do 10 man style push ups?
Yes I can.

PERSONAL TASTE

What’s your type? (IE: Skater, rock dude, MMA fighter, Nerd, Questionably straight)
I’d say alive is my type.
I never really seem to date the same type of dude.
Alive is usually the common denominator.

What’s good height for a dude?
6’0-6’5

You down with fat guys?
Yep

What race is your favorite? (it’s ok, no one will think you’re racist)
I’m totally racist. White is my favorite race.

How important is a male’s body hair situation?
Not all that important.
Hair on the head is very important though.

Girls always talk about how important a guys hands are. That’s bullshit, right?
Complete bullshit.

PENIS SIZE:
This is a hot topic for men. Pretty much, no matter what they say, every dude alive wants to know these answers cause we’re all obsessed with our own penis. Is it childish? fuck yeah. But trust me, this will be the most closely read part of this entire interview. PLEASE be honest.

Honestly if it gets the job done, I’m satisfied.
There’s such a thing as too big.
Not fun for small girls like myself.

If you had to pick, 5 inches and thick or 10 inches and thin?
5 inches and thick

On a scale of one to ten, how much does size really matter to you?

3

Name a porn guy who’s dick is too big (if there is such a thing)
J Mac
Too big.
I did a scene with him for Reality Kings called 8th Street Latinas

Crooked dicks: A problem or something you can work with?
Something I can work with, but prefer not to.

The BUSINESS
This may be the most sensitive topic of all cause, you know, people might read this. They probably won’t but I know how things are. Try your best to answer these questions truthfully.

Do you feel like you constantly wanna smack the shit out of most of the other actresses in the business or do you find you get along with most of them?

All the time.
Most of the girls are really naive and dumb.
Most of them actually think they’re going to become famous.
I’ve only gotten along with a couple of girls. Which is rare.
Extremely rare.

Has what has gone down in scene ever led to a fist fight with another girl who you had just done that scene with?
Almost.
Girl had a yeast infection and still came to work anyways which is disgusting and didn’t say anything until after. The dick went from her pussy to mine halfway during the scene.

Who is your favorite male performer to work with?
John Anthony

I know porn actresses have lists of dudes they won’t work with. Who’s #1 on your “No fly” list? why?
I have girls on the no fly list.
Dudes aren’t really the problem in the industry.

How often to people fart during scenes? And how do you stop laughing when that happens?
Never really happened.

How long were you working before you felt comfortable in front of the camera?
I felt comfortable since the beginning.

What’s the best place to film? indoors? outdoors? on a bed? On a kitchen table? on top of a freshly killed Elk (I’ve seen this video…it exists)?
On a bed.
It’s never really as comfortable as it looks. It’s actually almost never comfortable.
Everything we do is in an uncomfortable position.

Is a DP scene ever worth it? And do you secretly thing the two dudes doing it are kind of gay?
Never did a DP scene. Sorry to disappoint. Working omit though. It’ll come soon enough.
No pun intended.

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GETTIN’ FUCKED UP!
We all like to get our buzz on. Well, not all of us but most of us.

What’s your drug of choice?
When I do drugs, which is never, is nothing.
Sorry to disappoint on that as well.

You a drinker? If so, like a party time drinker or one of those motherfuckers that likes wine?
I love me some alcohol.
Vodka with Redbull


PERSONAL SEX LIFE
Cant’ stress the honesty point enough…

You gotta man?
Yes. I have a man.

Has fucking on camera made off camera sex better or worse for you?
Hasn’t changed a thing except I appreciate the hard work that you guys do to please me.


Do you actually enjoy anal? Do you do it in your normal sex life? If so, how long did it take get to the point where you liked it?

Love.
Idk why but it feels amazing.

Favorite position?
Doggy.

Scale of 1-10 how much do you like just laying in bed with a dude you like and making out for hours?
Not at all.
I like sex and making out is lame.

As for cumming, do you find you get off better from clitoral stimulation, getting fucked with a penis, a mixture of both or you’re not someone who cums much (or at all)?

There has to be penetration.

Do you do the gagging on a dick thing in your normal sex life?
Not fun but guys are usually into it.
I personally don’t need to gag.

Cum: Is it at all gross to you?
No

Are you actually bi-sexual in the sense that you would date another woman?
Yes. I love women.
But I love dick too much to give it up.

Does it bug you out when you meet a fan and you just know he’s masturbated to you? or is that somehow a turn on?
It’s a lil embarrassing.
But flattering nonetheless.

CELEBRITY

Assuming you’re on twitter, do many celebrities ever try and fuck you via DM?

Only happened once.
Not sure how many times it will happen though. *wink wink celebs*

In real life, have you ever been hit on by anyone super famous? Name names?

Rob kardashian totally eye fucked me when I worked at a certain mall near Calabasas
It happened.

If you could fuck one famous person, who would it be?
Justin Bieber. Only because he fucked Selena Gomez and I totally love her.

If you could kill one famous person (and get away with it) who would it be?
Oprah. Because it’s Oprah.

If you had to fuck one dude from Jersey shore, who would it be?
Pauly D seems sweet.

Without naming names, have multiple famous married men offered you money for sex?
Can’t say. But yeah.

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Peep this interview I did

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Doing interviews can be boring. In most cases, it’s people asking you the same questions the last 5 guys asked you. As if there is an artist questionnaire that all press is given that makes them ask you what inspires you, who influences you and what is your “process”. However, every now and then, you get a dude who doesn’t give a shit about that crap and he asks you about porn , rap and basketball. In other words, three things I like talking about. This is one of those. My boy Jason Gloss AKA Philaflava AKA Opinionated Jay is a bro, just like me. He recently asked me a bunch of questions and I legitimately enjoyed answering them. Even if he did use my press shot from 2003. Here’s that chat:
http://opinionatedjay.com/interview-tuesdays-with-blockhead/

I hooked up with Riff Raff Part 3

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You know, I honestly didn’t think this would go this far. I thought interviewing people who had hooked up with the elusive Riff Raff was something that would pass. Well, it turns out, the man keeps himself quite busy and there are people out there who wanna talk about it. To be frank, I feel whatever has needed to be said about the man has been said and , the more of the these I do, the creepier they get but I’m also not going to ignore them.
So , to Recap what’s going on here, Riff Raff is an enigma. He’s a southern white rapper who’s taken the world by storm. You either love him, hate him or you’re simply fascinated that he exists. I’m part of that latter group. While I don’t think I could ever listen to an album by him, I’d be lying if I said he wasn’t an interesting fellow. A while back, a friend of mine put me in contact with two girls who had hooked up with him. As a means to get a deeper look into a person that is such a mystery to the media, I anonymously asked these two girls about their special times with Riff Raff. I never met the girls , in fact, I don’t even know their names. I only know they did what they did and were willing to talk about. Well, it’s happened again. This time via a different source (Thanks, mystery bro!). So, cause I don’t know if I plan to do more of these, I’m just gonna post both questionnaires at once. Thanks to the girls who took the time to answer and, as always, these are THEIR perspectives of what happened. I’m sure Riff might give a different perspective all together so take it all with a grain of salt. I’m in no way saying either of these ladies are full of shit (why would they be? This was completely anonymous) but it’s only fair to acknowledge there are two sides to every story.
Okay, with that out of the way, let’s get into these interviews…

How did you meet Riff Raff?
I met riff raff at my birthday party.

Were you attracted to him when you met him?
No way. I was trying to hook up with some one else.

Who was the aggressor , in terms of flirting and things escalating to a sexual level?

He actually initiated the flirting when me and my friend dropped him off his house.

Is Riff Raff Charming?

if charming means playing only his own music while sniffing coke then yes his charming .

Was any part of sleeping with Riff Raff doing it because there’s something funny about being able to say you had sex with Riff Raff?

lol the fact he had his own music video playing in the background and he was watching it as he was going inside me.

Did he break out of character at any point? If so, when and how?

riff raff is riff raff ALL THE TIME

I feel as if most men are most honest and vulnerable post orgasm. Would you say this was true of Riff Raff?

no this is false with riff

Were drugs and alcohol involved in your personal time with Riff Raff? if so, what?

yes drinking and a lot of cocaine

Did you enjoy sleeping with Riff Raff? Any regrets?

no I didn’t really enjoy sleeping with him and my regret was sleeping with him.

Would you do it again?
never

After it was all said and done, what is your take on Riff Raff, as a man? Good guy? Misunderstood genius? Retarded clown?

his pretty misunderstood I would only be able to have him as a friend after this.

That was brief and to the point, huh? This next one is slightly more detailed and there’s a bonus story in there about a threesome with Mac miller. Score!

Where did you meet Riff Raff?
I met Riff Raff via Twitter, he followed me, then I followed him, and we exchanged numbers, I lived in Miami at the time, He lives in North Hollywood, I told him I was moving back soon, he said we should hang.

Were you attracted to him?
In my honest opinion, hes a good looking dude if you can look past the hair and the clothes.
There was somewhat of an attraction.

Who was the aggressor , in terms of flirting and things escalating to a sexual level?

He was definitely the aggressor, he’s more into white girls though, to be completely honest I feel like he initiated the sexual stuff because he felt like that was what he was supposed to do.

Is Riff Raff Charming?

He is definitely charming, lots of compliments, and hes really sweet and chill, at least the few times we hung out that’s how he acted with me.

Was any part of sleeping with Riff Raff doing it because there’s something funny about being able to say you had sex with Riff Raff? 

Honestly, I slept with Riff Raff because he’s Riff Raff, but I love what he is, I feel like that’s really him, and if it isn’t, he’s the biggest troll since LIL B. TYBG.

Have you slept with other “famous” people before? If so, care to expand on that? any funny stories?

I’ve slept with Malcom McCormick, aka Mac Miller, I was there for his 21’st birthday party/MTV filming.
My friends and I set up the whole thing, made the Balloons, set up the drinks, everything, my friend we’ll call her “chloe” was dating him at the time, she was his “side chick” and he told her to invite girls, because we do porn, and he assumed we knew lots of girls, and it’d be a super dope party with pornstars.
Little did he know, that girls in porn don’t get along, so she invited me, and I invited one other girl I got to know from porn.
It was a wild night, we were at the Palms in Vegas, Hugh Hefner suite, 2 stories, infinity pool, the works, personal bartender, everything, drugs, all kinds of drugs, drugs for days.
Girl I invite gets super fucked up off of Marijuana, how, I don’t know, I get annoyed, stop talking to her, because I have a short temper, just hang out with “Chloe” for the rest of the night, he asks if we want to get in the pool, we do, “chloe” and I are in the pool with Malcolm and Jimmy (his bffff) and Jimmy tries to make move on me, I don’t respond because I didn’t want it to be filmed, he dives into pool and tries to sneak up on me and I kick him on accident, oops, get embarrassed, Jimmy leaves pool, I’m third wheel in pool, Malcolm and “chloe’ are making out super awkward, they start fucking, didn’t want to leave pool because it was heated and outside was cold, stood my ground, “chloe” turns to me and asks me to go over there, and gives me this look that says “let’s have fun” we all look at each other, Malcolm grabs me and kissed me, we start fucking, MTV was filming the whole time, didn’t really care at this point, I was drunk, and high as shit, and I like “chloe”, he tells MTV to stop filming, we go upstairs into this room with a spinning bed, have an awesome threesome, end of story.

Did he break out of character at any point? If so, when and how?

Riff never broke out of character, he’s really chill when not surrounded by tons of people.

I feel as if most men are most honest and vulnerable post orgasm. Would you say this was true of Riff Raff?

after orgasm, he was the same, chill, just really stoned cause we smoked Marijuana, and we were all tired, I wanted to leave, so we did, I had a threesome with Riff Raff too, I wasn’t that into the girl that was there so I didn’t really enjoy it.

Did you enjoy sleeping with Riff Raff? Any regrets?
Would you do it again?

I enjoyed him, but not her, it was fun and all, but she’s not my type.
I would definitely do it again.

After it was all said and done, what is your take on Riff Raff, as a man? Good guy? Misunderstood genius? Retarded clown? 

I feel as if he’s pretty much himself, and very misunderstood, nothing he does is to harm anyone, he lives his life the way he wants to, and a lot of people envy that because they wish they could do the same.

Well, there you have it. I can’t imagine anyone needs to know more about what it’s like to hook up with Riff Raff at this point. I think we all get the picture guys! Thanks to those who contributed.

I hooked up with Riff Raff Part 2

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So, a few weeks ago I ran a piece where I anonymously interviewed a girl who hooked up with Rapper/internet sensation Riff Raff. It wasn’t really me digging for dirt on the dude but it was more like a social workers curiosity. I’ve said it many times that the guy is an enigma. Is he for real? Is he a joke? He’s a referencing things we simply don’t understand?
I thought that talking to girls who had perhaps had his penis inside them might shed some light. Through a third party I was able to interview two girls.
Here’s the first one:
https://phatfriend.com/2013/06/12/i-hooked-up-with-riff-raff-part-1/.

In the second installment, we meet a girl who didn’t actually sleep with Riff Raff. She just hooked up and did “everything else” with him but dipped before that happened.
I gotta say, I came into this idea thinking I’d blow the mystique of the man away and we’d all learn that he’s either totally a fraud or 100% genuine. Well, two interviews later, I can’t say I know…which makes him even more of a mystery. So, here’s interviews number 2 with a girl who hooked up with Riff Raff, Rap game Rubiks Cube.

How did you meet Riff Raff?

At a hotel on a Sunday evening while friends were doing a photo shoot with him. We had actually met once or twice before but I’m sure he did mot remember.

Were you attracted to him when you met him?
Not at all. Well maybe in a throwback wiggery way. I mean I love wiggers now, but a more subtle one.

Who was the aggressor , in terms of flirting and things escalating to a sexual level?
Riff Raff. Was so not even remotely flirting. He tried to push up on me while I was coming out of the bathroom and I was all- Get outta here. We were in a hotel room with a few friends. everyone was drinking heavily for an early Sunday eve. It was time for everyone to leave. We all exit and I’m waiting for my car at valet and so was he. He came over and said that I should go with him. I was all- With you? No way.

Keep in mind we barely spoke to each other inside. He kept trying to reason, asking me why. I said I had to work in the am. So he says-I’ll get you tow work in time tomorrow and I promise you’ll have a good time.

At this point I’m thinking about all of my friends and essentially take one for the team and get in his car, also I want to figure out if he’s real or not. I’m semi freaking cause I’m in a car with this freak show who is driving and for sure has had a ton to drink and done a bunch of blow. I start texting a couple of friends that we were just with at the hotel, that I’m in the car with Riff Raff. They’re all WHATTT, as we hardly spoke during hotel room photo shoot party. I was definitely thinking about just getting out of the car somewhere and calling a cab. Total escape mode.

The rest of the story is fairly self incriminating so I will keep it brief.

-He owns an albino snake
-He has samurai swords all over the walls like some bootleg Wu-Tang shit.
-He has awful red leather couches
-He’s pretty smart and pretty funny
-We ended up going to the studio where he proceeded to lay down like 10 different songs some over Portishead tracks
-He made sure to rap about me
-I woke up with Riff Raff forever written in my hand in Sharpie
-He sleeps in a do-rag
-He told me to call him Jody
-His fronts were on the nightstand next to my head
-He offered to drive me home but I declined and Ubered

Is Riff Raff Charming?
Sure

Was any part of sleeping with Riff Raff doing it because there’s something funny about being able to say you had sex with Riff Raff?
I wouldn’t fuck him, but all the rest…. Sure. Was for the story and I was curious.

Have you slept with other “famous” people before?
Riff Raff is famous??? Internet famous. And yes. I have slept with famous people.


Did he break out of character at any point? If so, when and how? If not, he’s actually that guy?

No. He is him. A caricature of himself maybe. He believes it and I guess that’s what makes the myth the man.

I feel as if most men are most honest and vulnerable post orgasm. Would you say this was true of Riff Raff?
I do not agree with this statement in general.

Touche
Were drugs and alcohol involved in your personal time with Riff Raff? if so, what?

DUH. Guess

Did you enjoy sleeping with Riff Raff? Any regrets?
Again, I did not go full fuck mode with him but no, no regrets.

Would you do it again?
Nope. Once was more than enough

After it was all said and done, what is your take on Riff Raff, as a man? Good guy? Misunderstood genius? Retarded clown?
All of the above

And there you have it. So…yeah. I have no idea. I feel as though 2 testimonies simply aren’t enough to really explain anything but, hey, they make for a fun read. Also, thanks to this girl, whoever she is, for answering my questions and thanks to my third party for supplying me with girls willing to spill the beans about hooking up with a man who calls himself Riff Raff and was on “G’s to Gents”. The whole thing got me feeling like this:

A fun article with a surprise at the end…


I recently did a write up for Impose magazine listing songs/videos from my past , explaining why they held importance to me.
http://www.imposemagazine.com/features/blockheads-midnight-interludes

The surprise at the end is for all of you out there who’ve ever wondered what I sounded like as a rapper…Know you will know the truth and understand why I gave it up for beatmaking. Godspeed!