If you’re gonna go low, be proud of it.

Remember when The Jerry Springer Show stopped showing the fights? The whole reason that show was at all popular was cause people took joy in watching swamp dwelling mongoloids beat the shit out of each other over petty/outrageous beefs. I remember when that change took place, I lost what little interest I had in the show and never watched again. While it could be argued that they made that change to boost sales of “Too Hot For TV” DVD’s, it certainly wasn’t presented like that. No, as far as viewers were concerned, they were taking the high road. The show that was so famously about family members sleeping with multiple family members decided they were gonna make strides towards being a class act. The story lines remained the same but whenever a weave was being pulled out, the camera would cut away because they were better than that. Therein lies the problem; When your whole existence is on some low brow shit, that is your worth. There’s no one thing you can change to even it out. I’m in no way judging actual low brow shit, hell, I’m a fan. I love fart jokes now just as much as I did when I was 13. It’s the entertainment industry’s need to pretend it’s better than it actually is that gets to me.

A perfect example is the “gross out comedy” of the late nineties. When “Kingpin” and “American Pie” came out, a new genre was born (or re-born depending how old you are). These were movies made for the 14 year old boy in all of us. Titties, shit jokes, slap stick involving cum…all that shit. Once Hollywood noticed this was a hot ticket they started churning them out like crazy. The Farrelly brothers (who made Kingpin, Something About Mary, and Dumb and Dumber) were at the forefront of this movement but they were also the first to ruin it. Instead of just charging along and making unapologetic funny movies for low lifes, they decided these movies would have a broader value if they added a sappy love story in the mix. So, what we were left with was a movie that was half dick jokes and another half the most syrupy love story bullshit written for girls who are obsessed with horses and have butterfly tattoos. The two simply did not mix.

My question is – Why even go there?

The movies were making money without the sappy bullshit. What kind of dipshit goes to a gross out comedy and actually gives a shit about the love story? Teenaged girls? Old people? It just doesn’t make sense. It’s pandering to an audience that isn’t even your audience. It’s kinda like having a friend who only fucks morbidly obese girls. That’s his thing. he loves it and no one is changing him. He enjoys it and more power to him. People may shit on him for it and diss, but that’s simply where his head is at. He’d be playing himself by even pretending to wanna fuck a skinny girl. The entertainment industry is basically that guy but instead of being joyously balls deep in a manatee of a woman, he’s hatefully fucking an Olsen twin with a half limp dick simply cause he thinks it’s the right thing to do.

The thing is, everyone wants to make everyone happy all the time. Obviously, this is impossible. in most cases, it ends up with your actual fans abandoning you. It happens in music all the time. From MC Hammer trying to be a tough guy to Guns and Roses using electronic drum machines. Natural change is a beautiful thing. But changing to widen your audience by removing your most valid attributes is pretty much the dumbest and most spineless shit you can do. Not to mention, it rarely works.

So, next time I’m watching something like the old Sharon Osbourne’s Charm School Reunion special and fists start a’flyin’, I wanna see close ups. I wanna see bloody blonde hair extensions mopping the floor. I want to see real tears and I want to see the unabashed anger of someone with a double digit IQ.

Don’t get all high and mighty when you’re whole point is exploiting the worst people in America. If you’re gonna exploit, go all out. There is no half stepping in exploitation. If that is your aim, it can NEVER go too far that would defeat the purpose. The one great thing about low brow shit, when done right, is that it takes balls.

If you’re gonna take that route, ride it till the wheels fall off. Otherwise, you might as well be making christian rock videos or something.

But hey, if what you want is exposure…now that’s a big audience…