Corey Haim: Me, Myself and I.


I was listening to some podcast last night where they mentioned the existence of these videos. I was kinda disappointed with myself for completely missing the boat on there clips up until now.
Before you get all weepy that these clips involve a dead person, let’s never forget that Famous people die.
If you’re willing to laugh at or make fun of someone when they’re alive, I don’t see why that should end when die. Especially, concerning people who were complete strangers to you and famous.
So, yeah, this is a video Corey Haim made in the 80’s shortly after he was a huge star. I’d venture to guss this is right after his star flame began to flicker and he was trying to transition from “Likable dork” to “Cool guy sex symbol”. It’s safe to say he was doing some good drugs as well.
There are far too many great quotes in these clips but , please, take the time and enjoy them all. (Btw, the first part is the most boring so don’t be put off by that)

Part 1: Sporty Haim
My personal highlights:
1)His “Haimster” hockey Jersey.
2)What a total dickhead he is when he had a pair of ice skates on.
3)3:39
4)His smug description of how to play baseball well.
5) the final 3 seconds of blissful faux wiggardry.


Part 2: License to drive, bro.
My personal highlights:
1) Due to lack of obvious content on the subject, it’s basically just a video of him driving around like an asshole with the top down. Needs more “hair flapping in the wind” shots.
2) His pre-interview interview really gives a nice look into what a complete cock sucker we’re dealing with here.
3)5:26-5:5:31 could be the opening to a chickenhawk porn.
4)The size of the crew involved to make this piece of shit may be the funniest thing about it.
5)John Ritter being his hero. “Furly!”.
6)His music. So good. Even better when described by him.


Part 3: A man and his music/fashion
Personal highlights
1)Right off the bat, his taste in musical genres (that never existed ever)
2) His “inner Rhythm”.
3) The crew egging him on to make a fool of himself. It’s appreciated.
4)The blatant coke fueled self description at 4:45
5)His twist on Flava Flav’s “YEaaaaahhhh Boyeeee” into “Yeah boys”. Which adds nicely to the under aged gay porn vibe of the whole thing.
6) Of course, the description of his kissing style. Dolphins are involved.
7) The brutal irony of 8:35.


Part 4:The wrap up
My personal highlights:
1) The ode to his dead stuffed animal. Though, it explains a lot.
2) More cautionary tales told by a living (at that time) cautionary tale.
3)The story of what made him want to be an actor…which consists of some director whose name he doesn’t recall telling him he was good.

RIP to the gawd Haim, but don’t be mad that he’s just as unintentionally funny dead as you were alive.