Old people doing drugs.

Until this past weekend, I hadn’t really done drugs in the last 10 years. I had drank a fair amount, smoked weed maybe twice and taken a little bit of mushrooms once. But that’s it. It’s not that I’m just one of those clean living types. I just don’t enjoy weed, I’ve never done any of the “hard” drugs and all the other drugs hadn’t really come up. So, this weekend, the inner 19 year old in me came out when a group of friends as we decided to rent a cabin in the Poconos and get fucked up. Why? Why not. This winter has been a motherfucker and , even though I don’t subscribe to “needing to get out the city!” as a rule, it was a welcome break. Little known fact, doing mushrooms in urban settings is not always the best idea.
The plan was to bring a bunch of mushrooms and molly. Now, “Molly” is something I had never done. Ecstasy, sure. But Molly? nope. I recall first hearing it’s name when I would be on tour years ago and being like “what the fuck are all these kids talking about?”. Turns out it’s just pure MDMA and is called Molly cause that’s short for “Molecule”. I literally didn’t know that for years and just assumed it was some crystal meth off shoot. Anyway, back when I did drugs with more frequency, Mushrooms and ecstasy were the best mix. Shrooms were my favorite but, you know, sometimes shit might get a little too intense. I recall once drinking mushroom tea on a friday afternoon with some friends and then leaving my house to walk downtown to a calm , serene area of battery park city. Unfortunately, the Shrooms kicked in within 10 minutes (as opposed to the 30 minutes we thought it would take) and we got caught walking down a highly populated street tripping our balls off at rush hour. We literally stood outside a bodega freaking out over who was gonna go in a buy water cause we were all too high to deal with any sober human beings. This led to us stumbling into a small park and all of us almost vomiting as we saw the sky churn angrily above us (pretty sure it was clear skies though). So, a lesson was learned that night. The next time I did shrooms, I took some ecstasy first. The ecstasy would take off the negative edge.

I’m not gonna lie. I was a little nervous about doing both these drugs again. Primarily cause it had been so long. I know what me in my 20’s could handle. Life was simpler then. I worried that I’d do them now and all of a sudden start freaking about needing to pay my taxes or what it will be like if I ever have a kid. You step into shrooms with some problems on your mind, shit might get ugly. There was also part of me that was like “why the fuck am I doing drugs at my age?”. Then it dawned on me. I don’t take vacations. My life is a vacation at home, as I have no real job that requires being locked in a cubicle or any sort of schedule. When I travel, it’s work. So, in a way, this is a vacation. This is me actually getting away, if not for just a night or two.

So, ten of us went to a cabin deep in the woods. I’m talking “GPS had no idea what the fuck was going on” type deep. I’m not gonna lie. There were 5 out of the 10 of us who were straight up drug novices. Thank god for the other 5 people cause they were on the fucking ball. Having pro’s around is never a bad idea. There are so many nuances to tripping you don’t think about. Like how awesome some Vitamin water is when you’re on drugs. Or candy. So much candy. One girl even bought magnesium pills to help lessen any jaw clenching we might experience. If I had organized this trip. we’d have a fridge full of buttermilk and steak tartare to eat and a room with only steel folding chairs. The veterans also bought all sorts of soft shit and toys that , when I looked at sober, I thought they were unbelievable cornballs. Like “Oh, nice fucking foot massager,bro”. 3 hours later, I’m sitting on the couch in front of a fire place gleefully rubbing my foot on it like my life depended on it. One dude bought one of those sharper image head scratcher things that pretty much was being passed around like a drug of it’s own.

It began with the entire group in one room, gathered around a table. We started with the molly. We all looked at each other and popped a pill in unison like some sort of suicide pact. Then we waited. Some people (the veterans) got up and started organizing shit. Like setting up a room upstairs in the cabin to be a very mellow room for lounging on plush couches. The rest of us, anxiously waited to feel something. It didn’t take long. Music was on. Random dancing began and it was clear that people were now high. After the novices , like myself, got done explaining to the other people how good they felt, people started branching out. Some went outside and played whiffle ball. Some danced. Others just chatted and smiled a lot. Then the mushrooms came into play and the night was in full effect.

The beauty of mixing shrooms and molly is that you cover your bases. You’re so fucking happy AND you’re tripping. So it’s like nothing negative can really overtake your night. The worst problem I had was how much I was peeing yet how hard it was to pee. I was constantly drinking fluids so I’d be all comfy in some plush chair or something (when high like this, it’s all about where you’re lounging. The texture of a rug can be a game changer) then, just when I was ready to just melt into that chair, I’d have to pee like an animal.

For me, the most critical part of the night was the hot tub. Holy shit. I’m pretty sure I’m now sterile due to the amount of time I spent in that hot tub, laying there like a rave manatee. At it’s peak, it fit 6 people. I recall , at one moment, everyone jumbling their legs together and random foot massages popping off. I have no clue who’s foot i was holding. I generally don’t even like feet. That’s that drugs, bro.

I’m sure some of you are reading this and rolling your eyes as this is an everyday thing for you. You live that Molly life. Honestly, I don’t blame you. While my body could not handle doing this shit more than once every few months, I can certainly see how something like this can become an integral part of your every weekend. I just think it’s funny to imagine a bunch of relatively old people partying on this shit. It’s like what i imagine my parents were like when they got stoned well into their 40’s. Let’s be real, doing drugs like these are a young persons game. Not to say you ever have to stop but , in general, the optimum time for tripping out is when you’re too young to worry. That said, I had an awesome time and this definitely set a standard and made a blueprint for any future “vacations” I’ll take. It may be a while but, goddamn it, that shit was too much fun. Except currently, my stomach is all fucked up and I’ve slept like shit the last two nights. I guess that’s the old guy part kicking in. So very old.