What will I give up for Lent? Hahahaha….nothing, bro.

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Apparently, Lent began yesterday. To Catholics all over the world, this means it’s time to pick a vice and put it on hold for 40 days. At least that’s my understanding of it. If you’re catholic and I’m wrong, feel free to not correct me though cause, really, I don’t give a shit what you do for the next 40 days. That said, I support your desire to cleanse your sins. Go for the gold!
Clearly I’m not catholic so, to me, Lent means casually hearing what people I vaguely know are gonna stop doing for 40 days and 40 nights. To an outsider, it sounds a lot like New year resolutions but with an added bonus of god’s judgement. Some people are realistic and decide “I’m gonna give up fried foods for a month”. Others probably see it as a time to really turn their life around and vow things like “I’m gonna stop murdering vagrants for a month!”. In both cases, it’s an uphill battle. I was out to dinner with my Girl and Pollyne (My Rogglecast partner) and they were talking about trying to do the Lent thing. Even though neither of them are remotely catholic, it’s a good excuse to impose some sort of restrictions on yourself. My girls choice? Diet Coke. This might not sound like much but, trust me, it’s a big deal. She’s an addict. I support this wholeheartedly cause ,well, Diet coke is fucking gross and I’m pretty sure she needs rehab for it. Pollyne opted for the “no drinking” angle but , I dunno…She had had a few drinks and I think it was the sake talking.
Hearing those two throw ideas back and forth got me thinking about what I could do for Lent. What vice could I give up? Thing is, I’m not a person who has many obvious vices on the surface. I don’t smoke, do drugs and I drink on occasion. But, clearly, those things are the most obvious. When I thought about it, I have tons of vices. Little tiny ones but things that undoubtedly rule my life. So, here’s a list of them and my “reasoning” for not quitting them for Lent (Other than it being a catholic tradition that has nothing to do with me or how I live my life).

1)The internet
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The internet is my Diet Coke. I’m on it all the time in some form and I need it. Beyond just social networking and fantasy basketball, I write this blog. Not that it is important to anyone but me but, hey, if I skipped a month I might as well just stop all together. While it could be argued I could use a little time to “refuel” I’m simply not that kind of person. I either do something or I don’t. Also, as a musician who needs to promote myself, I can’t really afford to take a month off. Sure, there are some off-the-grid famous people who somehow maintain notoriety simply by being themselves but I’m not one of them. I’m already a niche within a niche. I need all the exposure I can get. I gotta eat, bro.

2)Porn
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Now , this is one I probably could pull off. Probably. But, it’s one of the situations where I’m like “And I do this for what?”. Certainly not for you, Lent! You don’t evne know me, bro. I’m not one of those creeps who sit around watching porn all day. Or one of those even creepier creeps who just have it on in the background while they go about their daily business around the house. In fact, the second I’m “done” with it, I can’t “Command/Q” quick enough. While I do “need” porn in the sense that my imagination is shot, I’m also not 14 years old firing off nuts 8 times a day. As you get older, jerking off becomes part maintenance and part luxury. Porn just keeps those moments rolling smoothly. No need to make that more difficult on myself. Sorry, Lent, but you’re always gonna lose this battle.

3)Farting
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Although this would make my girl the happiest person on earth, I’m afraid I’d explode if I couldn’t fart so, sorry!

4)Being a slob
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This is a constant work in progress but, the thing is, I’m an organized slob. I have my little slobby patches around the house where I keep my contained mess but it’s not like I ever lose things. The things I’m most slovenly about are leaving water bottles with like two sips left on the table , not picking up my sneakers from the floor, leaving beard trimmings on the sink and leaving tiny piles of crumbs everywhere I just ate. In that sense, I’m very much like living with a pet gerbil. So, why not spend 40 days not being a slob? I have no reason not to except that I’m realistic. I know me. And the reason I’m a slob in these ways is cause I literally don’t think about it. I don’t leave those bottles there cause I’m trying to be a mess or feeling too lazy to carry it 10 feet to a trash can, I leave them there cause I literally notice them and don’t think about them. So, while this would be a prime and realistic choice for Lent, I know myself well enough to accept that I’d fail. The best I can do with this one is forgo the “Lent” excuse and just try to give more of a shit. I really do…but I don’t. Work in progress.

5)Not calling people on the phone
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This is weird one. I hate talking on the phone. When texting became a thing, I was delighted. Thing is, I got tons of old friends who I don’t get to see all the time who I’d like to stay in touch with. But, it’s like there’s a block in my hands that doesn’t allow me to make those calls. If I could put a month aside and make like, a call a day to a friend I haven’t spoken with in a while, that would be something else. The reason I don’t? Honestly, it’s selfish but I’m not trying to spend an hour on the phone a day. That and, I’d imagine, half of them feel the same way as I do. True old friends are cool with that “See you when I see you” life. Only dipshits keep tabs on their friends into adulthood. That said, it’s always nice to hear from an old friend, just call me, guys. I’m probably just sitting on my couch playing Candy Crush. Which brings me to…

6)Playing NBA2k, candy crush and words with friends
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Who are you,my mom? Why would you want to take these little joys away from me, Lent? They’re not hurting anyone! Sure, my girl wants to murder the man who invented Candy Crush and the 20 games with Words with friends I have going at all times is a bit of a distraction but…whatever. We need distractions. Some people read books. Some people watch TMZ, and I play pointless games. Also, I’m on level 500 on Candy Crush (yes, I’m bragging about that) and, you assume once I beat it, you get a prize, right? Gotta see what that is.

7)Watching TV
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Now you’re getting crazy. You think I’m gonna miss the final episode of True Detective for a religious event that I don’t even subscribe to. Go fuck yourself, Lent. At best, I can try and not watch BAD tv. That’s doable. But, then again, what is bad and what is good? Is “Gigolo’s” bad or is it so bad it’s actually great? A show like “The Walking Dead” is actually pretty bad but considered good. Can I watch that? A show is really what you make it. So, while I could easily not watch “Keeping up with the kardashians” for a month, I dunno if I wanna put other shows I actually like under the same scrutiny.The concept of not watching “bad” TV for Lent is far too deep into a grey area to ever pull off successfully. So, fuck all that noise. Besides, The Real World #29 is really heating up. You wouldn’t understand, Lent.

I’ve given this a lot of thought (well, the 25 minutes it took me to write this) and
I’ve come up with a perfect solution for Lent. I’ve decided I’m simply gonna give up Josh Hartnett movies for 40 days and 40 nights. I really think I can pull it off. Seems fitting, right?
Unknown

Thanks Lent!

The porn Star Questionnaire: Asa Akira


Welcome to another addition of the Porn Star Questionnaire. The last one , with Kristina Rose was pretty much one of the most read posts I ever did so here’s another one for you. Coincidentally, this is my girlfriend LEAST favorite article.
Just to remind you, this is just a bunch of random questions I put together to ask porn stars. While it may seem like a Maxim article at times, I stressed to them to be honest and not give me the penthouse forum answers.
Today’s installment features the lovely Asa Akira. Not only is she awesome in general but she’s also a New yorker , which is kinda rare for girls in porn. Let’s see what Asa has to say

Name?
– Asa Akira
 
Age?
– 26

Height?
-5’1 
 
 
Where you from?
-My nationality is Japanese, i was born and raised in NYC : )

ABOUT YOU

Do you read much?(I’d ask what books but I don’t read shit so I don’t really care)
-I do! every night to go to sleep. my favorite is Chuck Palahniuk (In case anyone else cares.)

Do you watch a shit load of TV? If so, what shows?
-Hell yah! I love it all. I love the good shows, like on showtime and HBO, but i like the really shitty stuff too, like on bravo.

Do you watch porn on your own time? 
-Yup. I watch all of my own porn. Aside from that, i go through phases.. Right now i like to watch anal porn a lot.

What kind of music do you listen to mostly?
-I’ve been listening to pretty much all of the same music since highschool. A lot of underground hip hop. But a lot of Britney too.

How often do you exercise?
 
– Every single day. My biggest fear is to get fat. (Don’t judge me.)

Can you do 10 man style push ups?
Easily. 
 
– PERSONAL TASTE

What’s your type? (IE: Skater, rock dude, MMA fighter, Nerd, Questionably straight)
-Funny!!!!!!! Everything else is secondary.

What’s good height for a dude?
-I dont care. Taller than me. Which is everyone.

You down with fat guys?
-I’m always down for anything that makes me feel skinnier.

What race is your favorite? (it’s ok, no one will think you’re racist)
-I honestly dont have one. I swear. Except I’m done with Puerto Ricans. I have bad luck with them.

How important is a male’s body hair situation?
-I like body hair. If you have it, dont shave it.

Girls always talk about how important a guys hands are. That’s bullshit, right?
-Huh?

(having a hard time forgiving the Kobe jersey but I’ll let it go)
PENIS SIZE:
This is a hot topic for men. Pretty much, no matter what they say, every dude alive wants to know these answers cause we’re all obsessed with our own penis. Is it childish?  fuck yeah. But trust me, this will be the most closely read part of this entire interview. PLEASE be honest.

If you had to pick, 5 inches and thick or 10 inches and thin?
-5 inches and thick. 10 inches is too long for every day usage.

On a scale of one to ten, how much does size really matter to you?
-i would say 10. But as long as it’s not too big or too little, it’s all good : )

Name a porn guy who’s dick is too big (if there is such a thing)
-There is such a thing. I think they are all nice, to have from time to time. But to fuck everyday… Manuel, Nacho, Everhard… a lot of them are too big.
 
Crooked dicks: A problem or something you can work with?
-I’ve never seen one so crooked it affected sex.

The BUSINESS

Do you feel like you constantly wanna smack the shit out of most of the other actresses in the business or do you find you get along with most of them?

-I get along w/ most of them. I have a high tolerance for people, i think it helps. 

Has what has gone down in scene ever led to a fist fight with another girl who you had just done that scene with?
-No, haha!

Who is your favorite male performer to work with?
– I love all the European guys, they are great lovers.. Toni Ribas, Mick Blue, Manuel Ferrara, Nacho Vidal, Keiran Lee… I also love me some Erik Everhard, Mr Pete, James Deen… Mr Marcus is really fucking good… Lex is so sexy… I also just worked w/ Ryan Driller for the first time the other day, and i think he might be the most handsome person i’ve ever seen in real life. Along w/ Charles Dera. 
 

How often to people fart during scenes? And how do you stop laughing when that happens?

-Haha i’ve never seen that happen!! 

How long were you working before you felt comfortable in front of the camera?

-My first scene felt so natural and comfortable already. I feel like i was born to do this. It sounds corny as hell but I’m serious!!

What’s the best place to film? indoors? outdoors? on a bed? On a kitchen table?  on top of a freshly killed Elk (I’ve seen this video…it exists)?

-Honestly, indoors on a bed is my favorite. Or on the floor on a soft carpet. It makes it like a free-for-all, you can just do whatever u want, you’re not limited due to furniture, weather, heat, sun, etc.

Is a DP scene ever worth it? And do you secretly thing the two dudes doing it are kind of gay?
 
-I fucking love DP. I always say i feel bad for boys cause they dont have a vagina, and therefor will never know the sensation of DP. I dont think it’s gay at all. The men are in a woman. What’s gay about that?

GETTIN’ FUCKED UP!
We all like to get our buzz on. Well, not all of us but most of us. 

What’s your drug of choice?

-I dont do drugs anymore. In highschool i did a lot. Of everything. Special K was my favorite.
 
You a drinker? If so, like a party time drinker or one of those motherfuckers that likes wine?

-I’ve been drunk maybe 5 times in my life. I hate it, always have.

PERSONAL SEX LIFE
Cant’ stress the honesty point enough…

You gotta man?
-No 

Has fucking on camera made off camera sex better or worse for you?
-Better. I get it less, so i appreciate it more. It’s a totally different experience. Much more intimate, obviously.

Do you actually enjoy anal? Do you do it in your normal sex life? If so, how long did it take get to the point where you liked it?

-I LOVE anal sex. Getting used to it was like losing my virginity all over again… It took about 20 times to really start liking it. It hurt at first, but i just kept thinking “soon it’s gonna be so fucking good.”

Favorite position? 
-Missionary. It’s the most intimate… I like to look at my partners face. Also, it’s a good position for getting choked.

Scale of 1-10 how much do you like just laying in bed with a dude you like and making out for hours?

-Depends on the guy. If im into him… 10!!!!

As for cumming, do you find you get off better from clitoral stimulation, getting fucked with a penis, a mixture of both or you’re not someone who cums much (or at all)? 
– I am definitelly someone who cums a lot, and fairly easily. When i masturbate, i cum from clitoral stimulation. But i cum much harder from actual penetration.

Do you do the gagging on a dick thing in your normal sex life?
-No. Unless it’s requested.

Cum: Is it at all gross to you?
-No way!

Are you actually bi-sexual in the sense that you would date another woman?
-Emotionally, no. Sexually, yes. So the answer to your question is no. Haha.

Does it bug you out when you meet a fan and you just know he’s masturbated to you? or is that somehow a turn on?
-It’s actually my favorite thing about porn. It’s why i do it. I love thinking about guys jerking off to me. When a fan says to me “I just jerked it to you last night…” it’s even better than the actual sex. Im weird, i know.

CELEBRITY

Assuming you’re on twitter, do many celebrities ever try and fuck you via DM on Twitter?
-A few have contacted me. I’ve never met up w/ anyone though.

In real life, have you ever been hit on by anyone super famous? Name names?
-Not that i can think of. sorry!

If you could fuck one famous person, who would it be?
-Jack nicholson 30 years ago

If you could kill one famous person (and get away with it) who would it be?
-The girl from “little miss sunshine.” She is so irritating! I think she is easily the most annoying child actor of all time. Abby something…

If you had to fuck one dude from Jersey shore, who would it be?
-I am a total TV whore, but i dont watch Jersey Shore!!! 

(How is that possible!??!!?!)
 
Without naming names, have multiple famous married men offered you money for sex?
-No. You’re making me sound so lame right now. Don’t make me end it like this! Haha.

For more on Asa Peep www.AsaAkira.com.
If you a real fan and would like to have sex with her but can’t because you’re not a male porn star, go cop her fleshlight (Here NSFW)
Also, check out her latest big movie “Asa Akira is Insatiable Part 2” from Elegant Angel.
Photo’s by Van Styles http://vanstyles.com/blog/

The porn star Questionnaire: Kristina Rose


If you’ve been reading this blog for a little while, you might have noticed that I’m a fan of porn. Like David Cross once said “I like to use it to masturbate to”.
Now, before I get into this, I want to 100% admit, this idea is a total rip off of what my Girls Desboobs and GlossyLoca did on their blog “The Boobs” a while back, In fact, it’s even the same girl. But, you know what? I’m a dude and I got a different angle on this. I also plan on doing more installments of this with other porn stars as well as people who work in other parts of the sex industry. If you’re at all like me, you find that shit fascinating. I made up these questions just to get an insight on , not only the business of porn but the girls themselves. I really asked them to be honest and not treat this like a penthouse forum letter. Thus far, they’ve obliged and have been totally awesome. (PS: if you are a porn actress or work in the sex industry and would like to fill out the questionnaire, hit me up at Phatfriendblog@gmail)

So, the first subject is the Lovely Kristina Rose. She was cool enough to take the time and answer this long ass Questionnaire and , for that, I owe her a Mcdonalds dinner (I swear, that was what she wanted).
Here’s a clip of her playing an amazingly accurate Elaine from the Seinfeld porno

Name?
Kristina Rose

Age?
27

Height?
5’1

Where you from?
100% Southern Cali Girl OC/SD/LA

About a girl:

Do you read much?
I like to read but I don’t get the chance to read as much as I’d like. My favorite is Bukowski.

Do you watch a shit load of TV? If so, what shows?
Yes! I do! I watch really bad reality TV. Bad Girls Club, Bait Car, Real Housewives of Whatever fucking city (except NJ & OC, They’re kinda boring), Jersey Shore, Maury Povich, any True Life, Toddlers and Tiaras, Wipeout, RuPaul’s Drag Race, Top Model, Project Runway, Cops, Cheaters. I watch a lot of crap.

Do you watch porn on your own time?
Mostly just for research now. Not really too much for pleasure anymore. lol.

What kind of music do you listen to mostly?
I listen to everything even the crap. I mostly like like listening to old motown stuff and old music from the 90’s. I like old music more than new music.

How often do you exercise?
Never. Just whatever exercise I get at work.

Can you do 10 man style push ups?
I don’t think so and I’m not about to get up and try either.

PERSONAL TASTE

What’s your type? (IE: Skater, tHug, rock dude, MMA fighter, Nerd, Questionably straight)
I don’t have a certain type of look I go for. I’ve dated all kinds of guys. I’m more about personality. I like cool guy. I like funny too. AND CONFIDENCE is a MUST. I can’t be fucking with insecure dudes. That’s a no go. Total turn off. Also my type must have a job, car & got some stuff going on… Not a bum. Kind of a dick (only kinda tho.. just enough to keep me interested). I am partial to artistic types and I’m super attracted to ambitious guys.

What’s good height for a dude?
I like guys that are a head taller than me at least. I’m 5’1 so almost everyone is tall to me.

You down with fat guys?
I’m not trying to bang the fattest man in the world but I’m down with guys that are thick. lol. Some of my friends call me a chubby chaser. I do usually like guys that have a mini layer of fat. Not OBESE! But I can get down with a Jonah Hill mid weight-loss, maybe even pre.

What race is your favorite? (it’s ok, no one will think you’re racist)
lol. I don’t think I have a favorite race. I think white guys have the hardest time trying to approach me tho, because every horrible exboyfriend I ever had was a white guy so I’m kinda unconsciously prejudice against white guys I think.

How important is a male’s body hair situation?
I’m kinda big on this. I hate, hate, HATE when a man is shaving all his hair off &/or doing way too much manscaping. Men are supposed to be hairy. That’s why girls like them. If I wanted to be with something smooth, soft and not hairy I would be a lesbian. Men that shave too much or are too into body hair removal are suspect. In my opinion at least.

Girls always talk about how important a guys hands are. That’s bullshit, right?
Haa, haa. I don’t think a man’s hand size has too much to do with anything. But I will admit a dude with really tiny hands is kinda creepy to me. I can’t fuck with that. IDK, I’m kinda into hands lately. I like them super big so I can really feel like a woman when they are pushing me around and holding me down. 😛

PENIS SIZE:
This is a hot topic for men. Pretty much, no matter what they say, every dude alive wants to know these answers cause we’re all obsessed with our own penis. Is it childish? fuck yeah. But trust me, this will be the most closely read part of this entire interview. PLEASE be honest.

If you had to pick, 5 inches and thick or 10 inches and thin?
There’s two different types of girls. Girls that prefer fat and girls that prefer long. I’m more concerned with length than girth. But I have girlfriends that don’t like long dicks or skinny dicks. They’d rather have it short and fat. Basically, penis’s are to women what boobs are to men. Some guys like tiny perky, some guys like big and fake or big and real. Some girls like a lot of length. Some girls would rather have it short and fat. Me, I wanna feel that shit so deep in my vag.. I wanna feel it come out my throat through my asshole. ;P


On a scale of one to ten, how much does size really matter to you?

On a scale of 1-10 on how much does size really matter to me I’d have to say: 8 1/2.
I’ve dated guys that were on the smaller/more normal side and have had good sex. BUT It’s not the same as having good sex with a guy that has a big dick. And I have a tendency to be more considerate/more respectful towards a dude on the day to day if he’s got that big giant make me cum like crazy dick. It’s just fact. I’ll take more shit from a dude if the dick is good.

Name a porn guy who’s dick is too big (if there is such a thing)
I’ve worked with a lot of big dudes. I don’t really think there is such a thing as a dick being too big. But definitely, I need to be in the right mood to take guys like Mandingo, Lexington Steel, Nacho Vidal, Manuel Ferrara. I think those are the biggest guys I’ve worked with.

Crooked dicks: A problem or something you can work with?
You can work with a crooked dick. Sometimes that will work in your favor! You could hit a spot you’ve never had hit before. Unless you curve down and your dick is really long. This seems to be the one kinda curve that most girls have trouble taking.

The BUSINESS

Do you feel like you constantly wanna smack the shit out of most of the other actresses in the business or do you find you get along with most of them?

The porn business is like high school. And Yes, there is a lot of porn bitches I’d love to slap the shit out of. Every girl in the business has her list of “oh I can’t stand that bitch”. I’m friends with some of the girls my friends can’t stand, my friends are friends with some of the girls I can’t stand and a bunch of us hate the same bitches. We’re in our twenties and we all act like we’re still in junior high. It’s all pretty comical.

Has what has gone down in scene ever led to a fist fight with another girl who you had just done that scene with?
Never a fist fight for me personally. Even though we do porn we still have to be professional. Every once and a while you’ll hear about a fight going down on set. And those bitches are usually drunk. lol. If I got a problem with a girl during a scene like if she is annoying me or whatever, I just take it out on her during the scene. lol… like smother a girls face with my ass so I don’t have to hear her dumb voice.

Who is your favorite male performer to work with?
Manuel Ferrara

I know porn actresses have lists of dudes they won’t work with. Who’s #1 on your “No fly” list?
All the guys that switch and do both gay and straight porn. Just because why would you do gay porn if you aren’t gay and if you are gay and doing straight porn why would you do that either. What does a gay man know about fucking pussy and why as a straight man would you do something you’re not into with another man?? I don’t trust someone with my body if they are going to force themselves to do something they openly admit they don’t like to do with their own body. People that do those kind of things for money are suspect and usually lead a risky lifestyle.

How often to people fart during scenes? And how do you stop laughing when that happens?
It happens from time to time. Hopefully you’re working with someone that’s cool and not such a pussy that they wont give you a heads up. If you fart and don’t give me a heads up, I will call you out and/or try to fart in your face.

How long were you working before you felt comfortable in front of the camera?
I felt pretty comfortable right away. I think by like 6 or 7 months in I had the kinks worked out and felt 100% comfortable in front of the camera.

What’s the best place to film? indoors? outdoors? on a bed? On a kitchen table? on top of a freshly killed bear (I’ve seen this video…it exists)?
I saw the bear video. It made me cry!
The best place to fuck is at a house. We always prefer a bed or a couch, but for me i don’t really care as long as there is a toilet and a shower on location. Outside sucks because they usually want us outside when it’s winter and freezing or when it’s like 10,000 degrees in the valley. That’s not fun.

Is a DP scene ever worth it? And do you secretly thing the two dudes doing it are kind of gay?
For me a DP scene is always worth it. lol. That check is FAT and really there’s not much I can do other than take it and try to fuck back. And honestly, it makes me laugh, kinda cuz all I can think about is two dudes bumping balls cuz they’re trying to poke me. lol. It’s like a cruel joke the director is playing on the male performers and I get paid more money.

GETTIN’ FUCKED UP!
We all like to get our buzz on. Well, not all of us but most of us.

What’s your drug of choice?
Marijuana!!

You a drinker? If so, like a party time drinker or one of those motherfuckers that likes wine?
I’m not really a drinker. Drinking seems to always get people in trouble. I like to stick to my ganja. But when I do drink, I like beer. One 24oz Modelo and I’m $.

PERSONAL SEX LIFE

You gotta man?
I got a friend.

Has fucking on camera made off camera sex better or worse for you?
Fucking on camera has changed the things that I’m into sexually and the way I look at sex off camera for sure. Like before porn my sexual fetishes were much different than they are now. Like I was super into role playing and and dirty talk and super cliche shit like that, etc. And those are still things that turn me on but the things that I find myself liking or needing during sex now are much different than the things that turned me on before. The things that turn me on during sex off camera now are things that kinda have nothing to do with sex at all, so much. My personal life sex is much more intense & complex than the sex I have on camera, even though my personal life sex contain less circus acts. I don’t really like to give away the things that I’m into in my personal life sex. I kind of save those kinks just for me.

Do you actually enjoy anal? Do you do it in your normal sex life? If so, how long did it take get to the point where you liked it?
I actually love anal. Unlike most porn girls, I was really into anal sex before I even started porn. Girls either love it or hate it. There’s no in between. I am one of those girls that loves it. Although I don’t give the booty up to just anyone off camera. Actually, in my personal life I’ve only given the booty up to boyfriends. I can’t let a dude do butt sex on me in my personal life unless I really like him and trust him.

Favorite position?
Any position where the man is on top of me or controlling what I do. I like to feel the weight of a dude pushing me around.

Scale of 1-10 how much do you like just laying in bed with a dude you like and making out for hours?
I can’t just make out and I usually never get to anyways. I always date guys that hate kissing. It’s like a running joke.
I do like to kiss tho, but I don’t want to do it forever. I’d much rather make out for a little bit, fuck, smoke my weed, eat a snack then take a nap while homeboy catches up on SportsCenter. I could do that in a rotation for hours!!


As for cumming, do you find you get off better from clitoral stimulation, getting fucked with a penis, a mixture of both or you’re not someone who cums much (or at all)?

I used to be much more into clitoral stimulation, but that was only because no one had ever made me cum from just fucking me. Then after this one time when this dude with a really long dick made me cum by fucking me I was done with all that! My thinking is, I can make my clit cum by myself all day everyday! But only a man can make me cum by fucking my pussy. So, now I like cumming most when it’s a penis that is making me do it because I can’t do what he can do to my pussy by myself. But even then I can’t get that kind of cum from just any old penis. My vagina is kind of a diva.

Do you do the gagging on a dick thing in your normal sex life?
I love sucking dick and I’m totally about a good old fashioned face fuck. When I really like a guy I usually wanna spend my whole entire day worshipping his cock with my mouth. I’m a rare breed.

Cum: Is it at all gross to you?
Sometimes. It depends whose it is. I’ll have fantasies about wanting to suck all the cum out of a certain dudes penis, but it’s always a certain dude’s cum. Never just any old dude’s cum.

Are you actually bi-sexual in the sense that you would date another woman?
I can never say never but I don’t know if I could be in a relationship with a woman. I like dicks too much.

Does it bug you out when you meet a fan and you just know he’s masturbated to you? or is that somehow a turn on?
I’m so jaded now. That kind of thing really doesn’t faze me.

CELEBRITY

Assuming you’re on twitter, do many celebrities ever try and fuck you via DM?
Yes they do. lol. All the time. Or they try to get ahold of me through mutual friends.

In real life, have you ever been hit on by anyone super famous? Name names?
Super famous?? IDK about all that. lol. Maybe. I think I’m gunna save this one for my book. 😉

If you could fuck one famous person, who would it be?
Tie between Mark Wahlberg or Method Man.

(actual picture posted by K.Rose on her twitter. SHE AIN’T LYIN’)

If you could kill one famous person (and get away with it) who would it be?
Tie between Mel Gibson or Gwyneth Paltrow

If you had to fuck one dude from Jersey shore, who would it be?
Vinny

Without naming names, have multiple famous married men offered you money for sex?
Famous guys that have tried to approach me are usually just tying to fuck for free. lol. Like some men think because they’re “celebrities”, us porn girls are supposed to feel lucky that they have chosen us and we’re just supposed to give it up. They forget we get paid for sex. We’re whores, not groupies.. (well, most of us).

Peep more of Kristina at her personal website:
http://kristinarosexxx-awmx.posterous.com/ (NSFW)
If you would like to be a gentleman and buy Kristina gifts, go here:
http://www.amazon.com/Kristina-Rose/wishlist/3BY1BMX3ZNNZA/ref=cm_wl_search_bin_1
She will also be performing out east very soon. Peep the gigs!
Signing for Jules Jordan Video at Exxotica NJ Nov. 4-6 & Dancing in Queens, NY at Xpertease Nov. 18 & 19

Things that are wrong with the world Part 11

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So, Apparently, Lawrence Fishburne Never hugged his daughter cause she’s opted to make a career as a porn star. Not even on some “oops, I leaked a sex tape!” kinda shit…but a real deal “lights camera action…splash” porn star. Now, reading the “things that are wrong with the world” title, you might think i’m referring to her decision to embark on her glorious on screen fucking career. Not so! That is not at all what I’m referring to. On a purely selfish level, it’s kinda cool. She’s cute and I have no issue on watching her make love on screen in the near future (real talk right there). No, my target in this is poor fathering. Now, I have no idea what her relationship with her dad is or what kind of history they have, but judging from her actions, I’m gonna guess they’re not exactly great. Whatever Larry did, he dropped the ball. Bottom line, if your daughter is doing porn, you have dropped the ball monumentally. Luckily for those of us who do , on occasion, enjoy a little adult entertainment, it would appear that many many many dads have dropped the ball. If fathers did their job, there would be like 7 porn stars on the planet.
So yeah, good job Larry, your daughters is awaiting her facial…from this fucking retard:

Porn. Let’s talk about it.

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I have no aim on this one…and I kinda hope my young nieces and nephews don’t read this cause, well, the last thing they need to read about is their gross uncle’s porno habits. Fuck it, too late now…

Like most guys, I’m down with porn – it serves it’s purpose for sure. I like to think I have enough perspective to watch it without losing my mind and become one of those weird porn fiend guys who kinda resemble star trek nerds. I know guys who just let it play in the background while they chill. I never really understood that unless you’re constantly masturbating (which they aren’t) or you’re showing your friend some particularly crazy scene.

(Like this one where they’re filming an outside anal scene and when the guy pulls out, a gnat flies by just in time to get speared in the woman’s anus upon re-entry. I’ve seen that one, it’s amazing.)

Let’s discuss porn and all it’s many wonderful/not very wonderful components:

Anal –

As I’ve said before, not my thing. I got friends who can’t get enough of it but I’m not down with doing it personally, so watching it on screen, where it’s amplified to a whole new level, ain’t my shit. But to you anal guys, do you, do it big. Do it till the anus looks like “a baby’s mouth yawning” (I forget where I read that but that shit is funny to me and pretty much the perfect description).

The thing about anal in porn, that makes it way worse then normal everyday anal, is that a lot of it is done to be “extreme”. While reading that word may normally bring up images of hang gliding or bungee jumping, when referring to porn it takes a nasty turn. Two dicks in one ass – that’s extreme. An extreme lower intestine makeover.

What’s Up With Violent Porn –

I’m not talking about S&M shit, I’m speaking of pornos where the guy crams the girl’s head into a toilet while smacking her…this shit is huge nowadays. It’s everywhere. Every time I innocently download some random porn I feel like I gotta deal with watching a staged rape. Who likes this? You know who (aside from guys who like rape fantasies)?
Guys who hate women/guys who never get ass.
I suppose these are the same guys who, when they actually do have sex, fuck like it’s a race …and they always win. I’d like to thank those guys though cause they make the job for us normal people that much easier. Every dude I’ve ever met who is into porn like this has been slightly off. Some are good people whose company I enjoy, but still, slightly off. I feel bad for the random girls they take home expecting some good old meat and potatoes boning but, instead, end up roll playing a crib death while getting sodomized with an eggplant.

How bout watching porn with your..uhh..lover?

God, I hate that word. “lover”. barf. How bout “the person you’re fucking”. I’ve tried it but I’m a bad judge cause I have a short attention span. I don’t even like music during sex. I might start rapping along or some shit (assuming we’re listening to rap while we have sex, cause that’s shit be mad romantic).

But watching porn with the person your having sex with? What’s the point? If you need that extra stimulation, maybe you shouldn’t be fucking that person anyway. Why look at an onscreen vagina or penis when you got a real one right in your face? Well, there are actually many reasons but fuck that…it’s corny to me. Kinda in the same way lighting candles or listening to Coldplay during sex is corny.

Not to get too far off topic but how fucking corny is someone who plays Coldplay during sex? Jesus christ. It happened to me once and I was both shocked and confused. Music like that is offsetting cause it’s all about build up and intensity. Halfway through the first song, as it was reaching it’s crescendo, I stopped and thought, “This song is really happening right now? Really?” I was in fact boning to Coldplay, mark that off the bucket list…and kill me.

Anyway, back to porn…

Homemade shit is always dope..or boring.

We really under value the luxury of multiple camera angles and positions. One shot of two homely people boning doggie style for 10 minutes really isn’t the jump off. But, occasionally, I’ll see a jewel that will renew my faith in homemade porn. Celebrity porn falls into this category as well and some of it is pretty awesome.

Most of it, however, is not. Watching celebrity porno’s you realize just how unexceptional celebrities are. They fuck just as lamely as you do but it is nice to get to see famous people naked. I can’t lie, it’s rare a day goes by when I don’t wish a celebrity porn scandal upon numerous hot famous women.

How raw have blowjobs gotten?

Back in the day, blow jobs in porn were sensual; like the girl actually was trying to please then man and, at the same time, showing her craft. Nowadays, girls are basically vomiting while giving head in most pornos, it kinda goes back to the violent thing. Gagging doesn’t bother me as much but it’s still a little unsettling – dry heaving is not attractive to me.

Now, this may go against all guy code but I’m gonna say it: deep throating in real life is overrated. Sure, it looks cool, the thought of balls on chin are pretty much most guys go to “slut” image. But, you know what? It doesn’t feel particularly great. Throats are not soft, they are not cushioned, they are hard and rough. Slamming a penis into the back of one straight up hurts even if it goes down there it’s like putting your dick inside of a small granite hole.

Maybe it’s just me…but fuck that shit.

Gangbangs –

This is another one that I simply don’t get.

There are sooooooo many aspects of this that just don’t work for me. Call me old fashioned but I’ve always felt it’s a social faux paux to place your penis in a vagina immediately after 12 others have already been there. Call me crazy, but I was raised with class. a gentleman goes second, not 13th. I bet when Farnsworth Bentley is in a gang bang, not only does he ask permission before entering the young woman, he brings a clean handkerchief to wipe the other gentlemens’ residue from the lady. That’s how gents do it.

When I was younger I saw this porn called the “Houston 500” (it may have been a bigger number actually) and it was a 500 guy on one girl gang bang. The whole thing was fucking atrocious and about as sexy as watching a birth. The poor girl just stood in front of a line of dudes who were frantically trying to stay hard so they could get their 5 pumps in and then go back to the end of the line. You ever see a naked man run while trying to sustain an erection? It’s horrifying. not to mention, she was FUCKED up – sore, dehydrated and just an overall mess. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’m pretty sure she was a mess a long time before she got there but 500 dicks later, her daddy still never loved her.

Porn is many things – one man’s fantasy is another man’s nightmare.

I understand when people have an extremely adverse reaction to it. I think those people are over reacting dip shits but I get it it’s not for everyone. I think, in it’s essence, it’s pretty simple: Two people having sex and people’s desire to to watch it. That’s really all it was to begin with. Sure, it’s transformed into this billion dollar industry and taken turns into depravity that are not only unnecessary but just kinda creepy.

But I suppose everyone has the thing they need to get off, busting nuts is nature at it’s finest.

For me, what makes a porno dope:

1) Hot girl (or even just sexy)

2) Non-Violent Guy

3) At the least, a facade that the girl is really into it.

4) A camera that is in focus

5) Preferably inside, somewhere that looks reasonably comfortable.

6) A non-talkative guy.

7) A non-talkative camera man who can refrain from hi-fiving the guy who’s fucking.

That’s pretty much it, all those things and I’m good to go.