When I turned 35 (this was 4 years ago) , I took it upon myself to write a blog post about things people over the age of 30 should and should not do. this was met with mixed responses. For people who were avid readers of my blog, they kinda got it. I wasn’t making a definitive rule book but more just a list of things that, hey, maybe you shouldn’t really be focusing your energy on. Things like starting new drub habits, getting into fist fights and going clubbing. I think all three of these things are reasonable. I mean, sure, you can start doing coke at age 35, get in fights and go clubbing all you want but, my point is , perhaps, it’s not a good look.
There are few posts I’ve written over the years that have gotten constant feedback, even though they’re old as fuck. This one, one about how men should not wear open toed shoes and another about how Yung Lean fans are morons. A couple of those were written over 5 years ago and I still get comments on a weekly basis from people who act as if I took away their guns. If anything, it shows the power of google searches. Like, that means, there are people googling “What i should and should not do after the age of 30” and “should a man wear open toed shoes?”. People are fucking insane. The responses I got/get were/are mostly livid people telling me age is just a number and that there isn’t a rule book. True and true but , at the same time, if you can’t see that your life is different in your mid 30’s than it is in your mid 20’s, you’re probably somewhat of a mess. Or you were REALLY mature at 25.
Anyway, I wanted to take a look back and , perhaps add on to this list. As i get closer to 40, it’s clear that aging is a process of growth and perspective. It never ends. 5 years makes a huge difference. more than you can imagine. So, perhaps my tune has changed since i wrote this original post. Let’s take a look at the original list and where i stand now, almost 5 years later
1) Starting new drugs
My stance has softened a bit on this. In a way. While I still think a person who has reached 30 and never done cocaine or heroin should just keep with the program, those are two particular drugs. Other more mind expansive drugs have their place and, perhaps, may be even better cause you are older. Mushrooms or acid are the obvious choice. Mind expansion , when you’re a 20 year old is cool and all but that egg is barely even boiled at that point. Taking an evolved and often complicated mind of a fully formed adult and throwing it into a whirlwind via hallucinogenic drugs can be truly enlightening. Even something like Molly, which is a kids drug at heart, can be fun. i don’t recommend it on the regular but for special occasions? Why the fuck not. just don’t die, old man.
2)Getting is fist fights
Still dumb and they get dumber. A 30 year old getting into a bar fight is dumb but a 39 year old? jesus chrst dude…get it together.
Thinking about it now, I guess it’s fine…in the sense that it’s your body, you’re old now and you may do with it what you please. But i still feel like piercing is a youthful form of expression. A 38 year old getting a tongue ring is weird. But things do happen later in life. You know how many people I know that have discovered they are gay or bi in their mid 30’s? Things come to the surface when you start to understand yourself. So, in the same way, maybe some person had a boring ass youth, got married young and had a few kids. In their early 30’s, they got divorced and met someone who took them to a swingers party. All of a sudden, they’re immersed in a world they would have never even considered and it was totally bought on by meeting one person. Next thing you know, that same former boring married person is now 40 and single. They have sensual oils by their bed, own a bag of dildos, wear a copious amount of scarves and have performed oral sex on someone of the same sex , even though they don’t consider themselves gay. If that can happen (and it does), surely someone could decide to get a septum pierce at age 37.
4)Going to clubs on the regular
This was short sighted on my part. Not cause clubs are great and a good time for people over 30. Clubs suck. If you go clubbing, you’re probably a cornball or a girl who “loves to dance!” and drink $18 beers purchased for you by creepy persian guys with cocaine. That said, i feel as though i overlooked the post 30 year old party life style. It goes strong. Sure, you may not be able to pull a 4 day bender like a 22 year old but, if you’re still a social being, you’re going out. You’re getting fucked up. You’re having fun. Now, I wouldn’t go to a club…but I wouldn’t do that shit when I was any age. But the point is, the party don’t stop at 30. If you got the time, money and social circle, it can go as long as you want.
5)Taking leisurely sports super seriously
Still dumb. Much like fighting, this is based on a weird chip on the shoulder of males. To me, this is really something all men should have under control by their early/mid 30’s. Their temper, their competitive streak, their realistic view of what sports means to them. You’re not a pro. This isn’t for a ring. This is for exercise and fun. I play basketball 2 or 3 times a week and it’s truly my favorite part of my week. Better than partying, better than sex , better than making music.
That’s cause it’s fun and it’s my only form of exercise. Two things that don’t share the same space very often. So, it seems silly to enter this thing that I truly love and look forward to with a shitty attitude. After all, IT’S FUN. That’s like going to a party and getting angry immediately for no reason. If you’re not a pro and the games don’t mean anything (when do they ever, really?), calm the fuck down and just enjoy yourself.
6)Blind musical idealism
I stand by this one deeply. Recently, one of my favorite rappers (Vince Staples) got shit on by a bunch of bitter old rap fans cause he said he didn’t care about 90’s hip hop. Staples was born in the mid 90’s and raised on post 2000 stuff. But, for some reason, people were up in arms like what he thinks about the music we grew up on matters. It’s not his to care about. But , still, people got all offended. Part of aging gracefully is letting go of extreme feelings that don’t do us any good. I love my old school hip hop, cause it’s what I LISTENED TO. But if a 22 year old wants to tell me that Young Thug is a better rapper than Rakim, what can I really say to them? It’s impossible to quantify and silly to even think about. Things have changed so much since we (my age group) were young. The internet! That didn’t fucking exist when i was buying tapes at tower records every week. how can we even begin to compare or think the current generation would have any idea what that was like? And, really, if i was them, I wouldn’t give a shit either. When i was a kid, i wasn’t bumping Grandmaster flash and furious 5. I was bumping Big daddy kane. Cause that’s what was popping then.
So, yeah, take it easy with the musical platitudes and just accept that you have your taste and other people have theirs.
7)Dressing like an 18 year old
I think the best thing a person in their 30’s can do, fashion wise, is take a little of the youth culture and apply it to their own, older, fashion sense. Like, you think those crazy space kicks look good? buy them and wear them with you not so skinny jeans and a nice jacket. But emulating exactly what’s hot with 21 year olds as a 35 year old is weird and feels like pandering. Kinda like puffy saying “swag!” or a 38 year old who’s “finna get turnt up!”.
Remember how people dressed in movies about the future? Like all shiny, with no buttons. Lots of silver. Or, if the movie is slightly more depressing, people from the future look kinda like fashionable bag ladies. Well, it’s funny cause the future is now. Like, you could take Bushwick , Brooklyn and dump all those people into Blade runner and no one would blink. The future is now!
Well, those were what I had before but I’d like to add a few more for good measure.
More things you shouldn’t do past 30:
1)Stop being so mad about Drake.
Let it go. Yes, I know he offends your fragile purist soul but he makes some good music and isn’t hurting anyone. Trust me, it gets MUCH worse. In ten years we will look back fondly at Drake. Kinda like how I do Mase, when I think about him now. But Drake is much better than Mase so wrap your head around that.
2)Be a prude
if you’re single and past 30, you should be fucking. I don’t mean whoring around putting your genitals all over anyone but, if you’re on a date, you are attracted to that person and you get along well? fuck that person. Literally.
Listen, we’re not in high school anymore. If you’re over 30 and still think girls who have sex on first dates are sluts, grow up. If you’re a girl over 30 and think there should be a definitive time line for when you allow the man to go inside you, grow up. It’s sex. We’re both adults. We both enjoy it (hopefully). beating around the bush is for nervous kids who can’t fuck anyway. You’re down? I’m down. And when it’s over, we can both act like adults and life will go on.
3) going to music festivals…a lot
This will get me some heat but let me explain. There’s nothing wrong with going to music festivals at any age. Do you. you love live music and the outdoors? Go nuts. i’m speaking more of the people who’s life is based around hopping from festival to festival. Like deadheads but ravers…and old. it’s just not our game to play, guys. going to a few select festivals a year is totally reasonable but if you’re packing up your 1985 Volkswagon bug and traveling across the country watching the same dj’s play in some fucking field, while you got bills to pay and maybe some kids? GET YOUR LIFE TOGETHER. That’s the thing, there’s nothing inherently wrong about most of these things but, after a certain age, you must be responsible for yourself and those who rely on you. All that said, if you’re a single person, with no job, no bills and an endless flow of money, I guess you’re the exception to the rule.
4)Posting meltdowns on social media
To be clear, NO ONE should do this but i give some slack to people in their 20’s and younger. At that age, you’re dumb and your emotions are even dumber.
But, yo…if you’re a 36 year old and going off about “Your haters!” on facebook or spilling the beans about how you thought about killing yourself the night earlier…get it together. This is social media. Save that shit for your actual close friends. When you post that, realize that, while your good friends will see it, so will that rando you fucked in mexico and that girl you hated from high school. For no other reason than that, you gotta chill. Write a diary or something. Diaries are great cause they won’t judge you and screencap your meltdown. That’s nice of them.
5)Have relationships constantly blow up
I don’t mean dating. i mean friendships. If you’re over 30 and constantly getting into arguments with friends and burning bridges, one of two things is happening
a)you have shitty taste in people and it’s becoming clear
b)you’re the problem
Either way, real friendship is one of the most important thing people can have. We all have acquaintances and social friends but I’m talking actual close friends. There is no reason that 2 adults in their mid 30’s should be fighting like petulant children and storming out of rooms in a huff. Well, there are many reasons, to be honest, but none of them are actually good. We all make mistakes. Nobody is perfect. In fact, we’re all pretty flawed to the core. But , at some point in life you either gotta cut the fat or just deal with it. fighting with friends over petty bullshit is not something an adult should do with any regularity. That’s some “real housewives” shit and those hoes are emotionally stunted morons with way too much money. If anything, a person over 30’s mantra should be “Don’t be like a real housewife”. That’s actually a perfect guideline to live by.
Whelp…that’s all i got at the moment. I look forward to your rage. just take it easy, your old and your heart isn’t what it used to be.