The demo review: Now accepting submissions.

IMPORTANT MESSAGE: I’M NO LONGER TAKING SUBMISSIONS. IF YOU SEND ME ONE AFTER THIS POINT (4:30 ET MAY 24TH, 2012) I WILL NOT EVEN OPEN THE EMAIL. SORRY IF YOU MISSED THE WINDOW BUT I HONESTLY GOT SO MANY SUBMISSIONS THAT IT WOULD TAKE ME A LIFE TIME TO GET THROUGH THEM. THANKS TO ALL THOSE WHO SUBMITTED AND YOU’RE MUSIC WILL BE JUDGED IN ORDER OF TIME I RECEIVED THEM.

Earlier this week I had an idea that could benefit both of us. That idea was to review peoples demo’s. The response was enough that I figured we could give the idea a whirl. Now, this is the type of thing that could come back to bite me in the ass cause , even without asking, I always have people sending me links to their shit regardless. The fact I’m now asking for it scares the shit out of me but , hey, I do it for the love of Phat Friend. I need content and you need validation. It’s funny how that works.

So, here’s the deal…If you’re a musician, rapper, producer, ect…Send me your music.I will review it. But before you do that, please read this whole thing as there are rules and guidelines I need you to follow. Now, keep in mind, the review might be one sentence or it might be 3 paragraphs. It really depends. I’m expecting the majority of the reviews to be “Meh” but that’s more about me than you. Now ,before you start flooding my inbox with music, I want to stress some things,

1)Send me one song. in case you glossed over that, let me repeat…SEND ME ONE SONG AND ONE SONG ONLY. You can do it via bandcamp, soundcloud, a spare mp3 or upload site. I don’t care what form it is , as long as I can share the link in the review and it is one, solitary song. I’m not here to sit around and listen to your entire concept album on how water is like blood in the veins of the earth. Send me what you consider to be your best song that most exemplifies what you’re about musically. If you do not abide by this rule, I will not only not review your music, I won’t even listen to it.

2)My reviews will be honest. And, honestly, I don’t like lots of music. Meaning, I’m very likely not going to like that you send me. I know this sounds pessimistic but in the 15 or so years I’ve been doing this, I’ve almost never gotten a demo that was legit “good”, let alone great. So, keep this in mind and know that you’ve been warned. All butthurt people will be ignored. All that said, I will be fair about things. i’m not doing this to rip apart your dreams…I’m doing it give constructive criticism. I don’t know you. I’m not your buddy who you get high with. If anyone’s gonna tell you the truth, it’s me. But know this, my expectations are extremely low.

3)Genre-wise, know that , first a foremost I enjoy rap. So, if you’re sending me dub-step, I’m pretty sure I’ll hate it. If you’re sending me some instrumental hip hop types shit, while i’ll be able to tell you why I think it’s either good or bad, don’t expect a rave review either cause, to be honest, I don’t really listen to that kinda thing. The ceiling of my enjoyment is low. Rock music? Sure. Again, I can’t say I’ll have much to say about it but if you”re dying to know what a guy who isn’t into the genre of music you make thinks of your music, who am I to stop you?

4)Just some basic guidelines: When sending music, send it to my email (phatfriendblog@gmail.com), title your email “Demo review”. That way it won’t get mixed in with the unsolicited demo’s I get all the time. If your demo is put in the comments below this post or doesn’t have that header in the email, I will ignore it. Be sure to tell me your name as an artist and the name of the song. If you wanna throw in a couple of sentences about your music , feel free but it’s not that important. Honestly, if you write me some earnest shit about your “Art” and I end up thinking it sucks, don’t be surprised if I use what you wrote against you in the review. So, you know, be cool.

I’m sure, if this goes well, I will add more rules but, for now, that’s all you need to know.
So, yes…send me your music. I’m asking for it and look forward to hearing it. Who knows, maybe I’ll discover the next huge underground talent the internet has to offer. I’d bet my life that I won’t but, hey, you never know…good luck!